True Strength
by cookies. x3
Summary: "Thor smiles lovingly, then pulls him into a kiss. 'It is you and me.' 'Against the rest of the Nine.', Loki completes laughing mildly. 'Always.'" It could all be so easy with just the daily insanity of Asgard and the other realms to face. Going through Thor and Avengers. Now featuring the Infinity Wars. Rated M for a reason. Thunderfrost. Thorki. FINALLY COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1 At The End Of The Day

**Edit 18th June 2017: Alright, I was right. This was awkward. I would ask you to not judge me by this piece, it gets better as does the story. In case you got interested by the Infinity Wars thingy in the description/summary and you don't really care about the (pre-)Avengers story, feel free to skip up to Chapter 40 Developments (If you want to include the Avengers story, it would be advisable to start with Chapter 25/26). For more information check my profile. Enjoy and thanks for reading!  
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At The End Of The Day

 _I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.  
Epitaph of Nikos Kazantzakis_

The warm sheets are tangled around him and the bright golden light of a new day stings in his eyes. Slowly his consciousness drips back and he runs one hand down his face, trying to rid it of the last traces of sleep. He arches his back to wake his muscles up completely before opening his eyes. The red curtains in front of the windows are half-drawn, so the sun of Asgard can flood the chambers of the crown-prince with its first beams. As usual Thor wakes up alone, glancing with a smug smile to the neatly made bed-half to his left side, before standing up to go to his private washing room.

The cold water on his body refreshes him as he stares out of the window to the already busy city outside the palace. The clear blue cloudless sky promises a warm pleasant day. Quickly Thor combs his hair and gets dressed to join his friends who'll probably await him in the dining hall for breakfast. He leaves his bed-half unmade for one of the servants, not really caring about it. Neatness never had been too strong a virtue for him.

Upon entering the dining hall his eyes dart to the place his friends and he usually occupy and make out the red wild hair of Volstagg, the blond short of Fandral and the black sleek of Sif and Hogun, the last two sitting with their backs towards the door. Thor makes his way through the rows of tables until he approaches the one the warrior three and Lady Sif had taken place at. So close her raven hair shines in the light coming in from the windows at one side of the hall. The sight of it drives a shiver down Thor's spine and he imagines to feel the touch of gentle hands trailing over his broad shoulders. He shortly shakes his head to drive away the sudden rush of memories surfacing, then sits down next to Sif.

'Good Morning, my friends.', his booming voice carries clear through the hall.

'We thought, you wouldn't come anymore.', Volstagg says between two bites of his breakfast. Thor helps himself to bread and some cold meat before his rotund friend could have the chance of filling his plate again. Sif's plate as well as Hogun's are almost empty and neat compared to Volstagg's or his. Thor is just waiting for the day one of them would pull out a ruler to arrange their food. They are always so in control, or rather they'd like to be.

'You must have truly been tired out by our training last night. Vanishing so early from our little feast and still sleeping in.', Fandral raises an eyebrow questioning.

'I could not sleep, my friend.'

He winks. 'Sure there is no other reason?', the blond asks with an impish grin, then sighs dramatically. 'Friends, can you not enjoy a good fight anymore? Sif also left rather early.'

'The feast was simply no fun, and watching you boost about your glorious heroic deeds to some unfortunate naive women offered no entertainment either.', she counters.

'You are just jealous.'

'Of what?', she scoffs.

As their bickering continues Thor searches the hall for another black long shock of hair but not spotting the one he is looking for. Turning back to his friends his gaze once again falls on Sif, involuntarily reminding him of soft lips kissing his neck while small moans escape them. Rather pale skin against his tanned one. Get a grip on yourself, he demands silently.

'Have you seen my brother?', Thor quickly inquires, trying to distract himself, looking around once more.

'Not today.', Fandral answers.

'He'll probably be in the library again.', Sif dismisses. 'What is he doing there the whole day anyway? Shouldn't a prince of Asgard spend his time with more pressing matters?'

Thor ignores her complaints. It is no secret the two of them never had gotten along well, and Thor had always despised the part of being caught up in the middle of their little fights. While Loki usually managed to stay calm, Sif would rage and he usually ended up needing to part those two.

'It is a wonderful day outside. We could go to the training field.', Fandral suggests.

Sif agrees and Hogun just nods silently, but Volstagg complains loudly: 'Not so short after such a delicious breakfast. There will be enough time later.'

'We could go outside to the grounds. There you can spar and Volstagg may rest.', Thor says with a smile.

xXxXx

Meanwhile Loki is sitting in the library pouring over thick old dusty volumes, reading and soaking up eagerly the knowledge generations before him had found and that was forgotten for almost the same amount of time. As usual he is alone in the big room with its thousands of book-shelves that climb up till they reach the high ceiling. The early daylight brightens the room but not the corner in which Loki is hiding from the prying looks should anyone enter this for him sacred room.

After rising early and making his bed, he had had a quick light meal and had gone straight to the library. There is so much to read, so much to know, and right now Loki has a goal, a lead to something worth finding out. Of course, he appreciates it to simply read a good book on the opposite to his thick-headed brother and thinks that brains are better than brawn, but the thrill of chasing a truth through the ancient tomes surrounding him is one of the best feelings he knows. And he is so close, he can feel it! Not long and this secret would lie uncovered in front of him.

None of Thor's friends can understand how Loki can bury his nose in ancient knowledge for hours without realizing it but then again, they do not possess the same powers he does. They train their skills on the training field while he steels himself in a quieter place. Magic does come naturally to him but it still demands practice. Mother seems to be the only one encouraging him to not train just his body but rather his mind to outsmart his opponents. They might disagree but in a real battle a single sword can often do very little while a well placed spell has the power to distract the enemy enough so he starts making mistakes.

Again Loki rereads the notes he had made, the translation of the runes he had written down but still they make no sense. One crucial element at least still must be missing. He redirects his attention to the book written in old Elvish. Not many in Asgard bother to learn those other languages, let alone learn to read them, but Loki had spend a lot of time memorizing the different runes and their meanings, to use spells invented by the other realms, to gain knowledge, to be a good King should the time ever come. He is not kidding himself though, Thor is still crown-prince and the chances of that changing are tiny.

Slightly frustrated Loki shuts the book and wanders through the library looking for another one, a hopefully more helpful one. Nowhere seems to be the answer, but Loki is not one to give up so lightly when he has set himself a goal, and this one is special, he just needs to find the truth buried beneath this collection of already owned facts. If there is indeed a possibility to travel between the realms without using the Bifrost he just has to know it. Loki is determined to find a way, weeks he has been now following the leads that never seem to lead anywhere. Norns, he had held almost every book in his hands and still this secret refuses to be uncovered, always when he thinks he is close, it leaps away like a deer, hiding again behind another wall of secrets. But all this just makes it more worthy of being found out, it just let himself be more fixed on finding a solution.

One day he would travel through the branches of Yggdrasil without help of anything than his magic, he swore himself. He hates not knowing, it drives him mad, so he spends almost every free minute between the beloved books who had too often paid him company when no one else would.

Loki has the feeling bare moments pass as he is absorbed into a new book when he hears Thor's deep voice along with his thundering footsteps.

'Brother, I have been looking for you.'

'Apparently you found me.' Loki resists the urge to roll his eyes. 'What do you want, brother?'

'You have missed lunch. I worried.'

Keeping his expression clear of emotions Loki risks a short glance to the window on the other wall. The sun really already has passed its zenith. Well, his mind is occupied with far more pressing matters than food.

'What do you want?', he repeats his question calmly.

'Would you like to join us for sparring?'

'Actually, brother, I am rather occupied right now.'

'What are you doing?'

'Reading.', Loki says with the faintest smirk.

'You can do that later.'

'I would like to finish this today. This is important research.'

'Oh, come, brother, live a little, you can do your research later.'

'But I wish to finish it now.' Why can that thick-headed oaf of a brother not simply leave him to his study?

'What is it about?'

Loki almost looses his patience. 'I do not believe it would capture your interest. I do not want to bore you.' As if he'd ever understand what Loki would talk about. Moreover he is not willing to share this with Thor, not now at least.

Thor steps a few paces to him and looks over his shoulder. Loki can almost feel him draw back when his eyes look upon the unfamiliar runes.

'So, will you join us?'

'What good would it do?' I am sure your friends would appreciate my absence.

'You should train more often, brother.'

'I am.'

'I bet, you're just afraid to lose against me.'

Loki snickers. 'You wish. It has been years since you beat me.'

'Because you use your little tricks.'

'No tricks, brother of mine, magic. There is a big difference, you should know that by now, given all the times you fell for it.'

'Fine, than magic. Still, if you would not use it I would beat you.'

'Why should I not use my advantage when you are using yours?'

'Please, come with us.', Thor says, ignoring Loki's question.

Looking down at his book again he decides he could do well with a little entertaining of wreaking some havoc among Thor and his friends. 'Fine, if you wish, brother.' Slightly Loki inclines his head to him as Fandral enters the library as well, looking for Thor. Of all of Thor's friends he is the most agreeable one. Not as silent as Hogun or as tiring as Volstagg or as aggressive as Sif, he made quite a good companion.

Loki quickly magics the book he just started to his rooms to finish it later, then follows the two blond men on their way to the now almost empty training field.

They take their turns in sparring, just two at a time fighting while the others would make bets who'd win. Loki wins his first two rounds, enraging Sif during her turn so she almost has a go after him for real which is stopped only by Thor stepping in, and the second with Hogun which is far more satisfying as it is a real challenge even for Loki. Hogun is never to be underestimated, Loki decides for himself. Not even for my illusions he falls for real, always stays wary. It is really true, still waters run deep.

It is Thor and Fandral's time and Loki watches already bored again, thinking how to entertain himself best. Casually he is flipping his dagger, his favorite weapon, in the air, catching it. His mind runs through all the possibilities but is not long occupied by this. His thoughts dart back to the passage he had been reading before his brother had so rudely interrupted.

'Loki, stop scheming!', Fandral shouts over, trying to dodge a blow from Thor.

Loki looks up surprised. 'I am not scheming.'

'Yes, you are. I know this expression of yours, it never means something good.'

A smirk plays around the lines of his lips. 'I am merely planning.'

'I highly doubt that.', Fandral seems rather amused by this. He is quite clever, he keeps on forgetting that. Indeed Loki had been planning to end their little friendly spar by making their swords disappear or exchange them with something, he just hadn't decided yet with what. Nothing harmful, he is not in the mood for that.

Fandral swiftly dodges another blow from Thor. Loki is fascinated how quickly he can move, with his hair still in perfect order. The dashing Fandral. How very fitting. He can understand why Thor keeps him around. A small snicker almost escapes his mouth.

'Doubt the truth as much as you want.', Loki teases.

That makes Thor turn around to him for ever so short a moment, enough time for Fandral's strike to throw the god of thunder to the ground.

'That was unfair!', Thor protests.

'It was not.'

'I was distracted.'

'If you would have been distracted in battle, brother, you'd be dead now.', Loki helps Fandral lightly.

'And that would amuse you?', Sif spits out.

'Yes, Lady Sif, I take an immense amount of joy from the thought of my older brother dying in battle. You know, I do not have many enjoyments in life.' His voice was dripping with bitter sarcasm. 'It so happens I care about him.' Maybe just not the way I should.

She merely glares at him, probably thinking of sinking her sword in his flesh.

'Then do not jest about his death.', she hisses.

'Stop it, both of you.', Thor intervenes. 'He is right, Sif. In battle I must not get distracted so easily.'

Thor, the savior of the day, Loki thinks bitterly. As if he would need his help! Loki knows, he is right. He does not need Thor to tell this miserable blind woman.

Sif swallows her next reply. Loki is about to stand up and leave the training fields to go back to his rooms to find some peace in his books when Thor calls over: 'Where are you going? You still owe me a spar. You may even use your little tricks.'

This time Loki rolls his eyes but does not correct him. Reluctantly he steps in front of the warrior three and Sif to face Thor who is still brushing of dust from his robes.

A small dagger appears out of nowhere in his hand while Thor unsheathes his sword. Thor is the stronger one but Loki moves faster. They pace around each other, waiting for the other to make the first move, to attack first. As expected by Loki, Thor makes the first move, growing impatient. That has always been one of his greatest weaknesses. The blonde man rushes right through the illusion of Loki, who is making it vanish and himself visible once again. He can win this fight without such tricks though. Thor catches himself before he falls and eyes Loki warily. Again they circle and attack each other, Loki using his magic to enhance his own speed or to ruin Thor's timing in his motions, making him stumble and letting him look clumsy.

After a while this also lost its appeal to him and Loki concentrates on winning just by his wits rather than his magic. Thor never broke his pattern too much, attack being preferred to defense. Thus makes it almost too easy to break through his already weak defense and knocking him with his own strength and weight to the ground on his back. Smirking he watches Thor looking at him disbelievingly, finally offering him hesitantly a hand which his brother accepts.

His black hair is sticking on his face and he leaves the group to themselves after they were all tired out in the evening and they went to sit by one of the night fires being ignited soon. He has better plans for tonight.

xXxXx

Late in the night Thor bids his friends good bye, Sif had already left for her quarters but the warrior three still drink their ale as if tomorrow could wait.

He enters his chamber quietly, stripping out of his armor quickly and splashing some water into his face before returning to his bedroom. A dark-haired pale figure sits cross-legged on his red covers.

'Loki.'

He does not even look up from the book he is reading. It is the thick black volume he had had read in the library this afternoon, Thor notes.

'Thor?'

'You fought well today.'

'Do I not always?', laughter creeps into the soft voice of his. He is already in his night clothes, dark green wide trousers but no shirt. Eventually the green eyes lock with the blue ones, amusement sparkling in both pairs.

'Yes, you do.', Thor replies distracted.

Loki sends the book back to his room and leans back on his elbows. Thor's eyes travel from his face to the lean body of his brother, pale against the dark bedspread.

'You are rather early at home tonight.'

'Am I?'

'Has our training tired you?', Loki teases.

'Not that much.', his voice grows dark and husky.

'Good. Ready for another spar?', Loki smirks.

'Always, my love.'

With quick paces he crosses the room, flings himself onto the red covers of his bed, his lips searching almost desperately for Loki's. Finally they find their aim, gentle hands welcome him already. Loki moans deeply when he bites his lip gently. A grin flashes over his face as he deepens the kiss. One thing Thor knows for sure: He would not be the one landing on his back this time.

xXxXxXx

 **A/N: Hello, this is my first (published) fanfiction. This is just an introduction for a longer story, so it's maybe kinda awkward, but nevertheless, it will get better (I hope^^). Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. Also feel free to point out any spelling or grammar mistakes you spot. Thank you for reading. :)  
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	2. Chapter 2 Thunderstorm

**A/N: Hello back! Just throwing this in: I will not update this (again) irregularly but decided to (try to) write a chapter every week so you know (approximately) when to expect something new. I would post it on Saturday. Hope you are okay with that :)**

 **wafflewolves: Thank you so much for reviewing and being the first one to review. ^.^**

 **Thank you for the two favorites *.***

 **Disclaimer (Because I forgot last time, sorry 'bout that): I don't own anything, even though you might have guessed that. Hope you enjoy the chapter :)  
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Thunderstorm

 _And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.  
Friedrich Nietzsche_

 _217 years prior..._  
Loki's tea still stands untouched on the table in his room. Thor wonders briefly why his brother is pacing the room restlessly. He always just does that when we are alone, especially in my room.

Maybe he feels uncomfortable with you, a voice in his head whispers. Maybe he noticed your stares and is disgusted.  
Thor swallows hard and tries to ignore this thought. He does not believe he would be able to bear it. Thor, the great fierce warrior, afraid of rejection, he'd almost laugh about the tragedy of the thought.

The sleek dark and pale form of Loki stands now in front of the window, looking out into the heavy rain pouring down out of the black purple clouds. Lightning forks the sky for a brief moment before Loki turns around again abruptly and starts pacing again. It is no secret that his brother hates storms. When they were kids he used to sneak into Thor's room during thunderstorms to seek comfort. Thor asks himself if Loki had enjoyed their little sleep overs as much as he. And if he also misses them. So much time seems to have passed. His brother seems to be further away from him than ever.

'It is getting late. If all matters are discussed I will leave you to your rest.' With that the black haired man turns to the door.

'Loki, wait.' Thor is surprised how even his voice sounds.

He is lying on the bed being bored by all the political talk of his brother but still listening attentively to this beautiful soft light voice without paying too much heed to the words it is forming.

Loki looks surprised, his gaze turns analyzing, calculating, as thunder threatens to tear their eardrums apart. He flinches slightly but Thor pretends to have not seen it. Loki hates showing weaknesses.

'You could stay. I would like to talk to you.'

Something like relief flashes in the green eyes.

'About what?', Loki turns suspicious. Of course he would never give in easily.

'Everything. It has been a while since we spoke about anything not political.'

A little more pressure could do the trick. Carefully Thor directs his powers to the storm above to magnify it a bit. It had been convenient that exactly tonight such a storm has approached and Thor is willing to use it. Lightning illuminates the room and not a second later the thunder crashes as well. Loki's eyes dart warily to the window. Then he sighs exaggerative.

'If you insist, brother.'

A smile curls Thor's lips as he taps the covers next to him.

Loki sighs deeply again, before an only half-pretended smile appears on his face. Sometimes Loki is a big mystery to him but in times like this he had spend too much time with his brother to not see the small amount of gratitude covered for the most part by resignation.

Slowly Thor slides down from his sitting position to lie on his side as Loki crawls elegantly on top of his red covers to lie next to him, facing him.

'So, what do you want to talk about?' Boredom is back in the light voice, green eyes searching Thor's face for he knows not what.

The rain hits hard against the window and the storm seems to thrash right above the palace. Maybe a little more encouragement wouldn't hurt. As the next strike makes Loki flinch harder than before Thor reaches unintended out for him, to draw him closer, to comfort him but Loki just sneers: 'I am no child anymore. I do not fear a simple storm.'

Before the words are fully out of his mouth though the loudest rumble yet makes Loki dart forward into the waiting arms of Thor.

Immediately he puts an arm around his little slightly trembling brother to prevent him from drawing back again. But Loki surprisingly not even tries but buries his face in the nape of Thor's neck, now allowing himself to tremble from head to toe.

'Sh.', Thor tries to sooth him. At least it is partly his fault and he feels a little guilty. Like the precious treasure he is Thor holds him careful, not wishing to ever let him go again.

He breathes in the intoxicating smell of Loki, feels his cool body pressed against his, feels how Loki slowly relaxes again. Quickly he forgets about the reason this is wrong. A low throb of arousal flares up and carefully he moves his hips back so Loki won't notice.

Loki's breath strokes the skin of his neck. Thor forces himself to continue breathing normally but can't stop his heart from racing slightly.

Norns, he is still my brother! His cheeks are on fire.

Thor starts to stroke his back lightly, telling himself it is just to comfort his brother, nothing more. Strokes the lean muscly torso through the thin shirt. It must have been years since they were so close. A lot of years. A lot of lonely years. Never has he realized like this how much he has missed Loki. Worries will have to wait. Thor shifts his position slightly so one of his hands is in the long sleek black hair, drawing Loki's head closer, resting his cheek on top of it, while the other continues to caress him, gliding up and down. And if sometimes his hands slips a little too far down to count as brotherly comforting, Loki does not notice or at least does not complain.

xXxXx 

Loki is pacing through the room, never daring to stand still long enough to look straight at his brother, who's lying on the bed, for longer than a moment.

I should not be here.

He can feel brilliant blue eyes following him, eyes in which he could get lost forever. Thor knows, he is certain. Between all the glares he tosses his elder brother at every possible moment, all the times he had snapped at him, he had somehow noticed. Loki's hope, that emotional and real distance and looking daggers at him would keep him not only out of situations like this but also Thor out of his head, dies slowly. The longer he isn't around the blond the worse it gets. Fury about himself pumps through his veins like poison.

He enjoys this far too much. Again he lets his gaze sweep over the sprawled out figure on the bed, a far too appreciating glance. He could slap himself. Loki forces a mask of formal civility on his face, but his eyes stay hard.

Why can't Thor just leave him to himself, to solitude? Why can't he simply hate Loki and finally fall for the hateful glances Loki throws at him because he hates himself for doing so, for having to push him away, for feeling this way?

He tries to keep his hands from flexing involuntarily. His tea stands untouched on the table, Loki cannot allow himself to relax around his brother. Never. He is disgusted by himself, the self-control he had built up during all those years of his life, to not let anybody near him, never wavers except when he is alone with Thor, with no means of distracting him. Thankfully Thor had lain down on the bed while Loki tried to make him understand the importance of the visit of the ambassadors of the other realms, something Father had asked him to do. Before, Thor has also been wandering aimless through his rooms, being far too close. Often Loki couldn't help but flinch when his brother is too near. He cannot allow himself to touch him, not even think about it, to think how it would feel to let his fingers trail over the broad chest, the muscular stomach, clearly visible through his shirt, to hear him say his name.

He is still your brother.

He turns around abruptly and steps over to the window, staring with hatred out into the stormy night. When they were kids he had often crawled into Thor's bed in nights like this, because he disliked storms, because his brother would always comfort him. He suppresses barely a sigh. How well the sky mirrors his current mood, gloomy, angry, brooding. Why just is he so out of control? Loki forces his thoughts in another direction, turns his suppressed desire, to have his old life, the simplicity, back, into hate. He should hate Thor, not like him, he is the only reason Loki will never sit on the throne. He will be a terrible king. This is all his fault. Why does Thor need to rely on him to fill him in on everything important? He is just a  
big witless oaf! Nothing more, especially not to Loki.

But not even the Liesmith is such a good liar he could convince himself fully.

After some time Loki finishes explaining, knowing Thor lost the thread of the conversation a long time ago, but willing to still fulfill his duties. He excuses himself and heads for the door, wanting nothing more than creep back into his solitude, to forget about every form of contact and to get lost in his books, in his magic, everywhere except in these eyes.

'Loki, wait.'

Loki knows it is nothing but madness that makes him stop and look at Thor surprised. Gleeful he notes that he hadn't used 'brother' to address him. What could Thor just want from him? A loud crash of thunder lets his eardrums ring and he is torn from his thoughts. Within a blink a plan forms on his now blank mind and the slight flinch because of the noise is only half-played but well-placed. Maybe shock therapy will work better than his old strategy. At least he tries to convince himself this is the only motive of his actions. Carefully he lets a part of his magic flow into the thunderstorm above them that threatens already to rip the palace apart. Thor never can resists playing the hero, a despicable trait and Loki can't deny that he would even miss that. Thor pretends not to have seen this little sign of weakness. A part of Loki is touched by this noble gesture, the other tells him that he is probably too stupid to notice.

'You could stay. I would like to talk to you.'

He hides his glee behind a masque of relief. Or is it relief he tries to cover up? It does not matter, not now at least. He will give in, he will open this wound one last time so that it may heal properly. Then he will forget everything and go back to things he understands better.

'About what?' It would only raise his suspicions to give in too easily.

Those blue eyes make his world stop and he doesn't really listens to Thor anymore, just hearing his booming voice. He puts up a little more pressure and looks warily to the window before giving seemingly reluctantly in to Thor's bidding. 'If you insist. Brother.' Loki quickly reminds himself of this simple little fact that continues slipping his mind around the thunder-god. This is just a method to get him out of your head, not into it. One time he wants to lie next to Thor, then he can go back to being just his brother and nothing more, then he will be able to ignore the tingle in the pit of his stomach when he sees him, then he can go back to loneliness and darkness because they are far better companions and never let him wait.

But when he sees the small and welcoming smile of Thor as he invites him to lie next to him on his bed Loki almost instantly forgets about his schemes and can barely compose himself enough to not throw himself straight away onto it. A small smile still manages to creep on his face. Maybe he hasn't fallen for Loki's apparent dislike. And maybe, just maybe, he should stop hoping.

Loki can't help but notice the strong body lying just inches away from him, it could as well be light-years. He forces the too well-known boredom into his voice, inquiring what he'd like to talk about while mentally pushing all hopes aside, throwing himself into the dark pit he had built long ago, to protect his heart and mind so nobody and nothing could ever touch him.  
What is Thor planning with this? Why now reach out to the brother he so long willingly ignored? I cannot trust him, I cannot allow myself, I would break.

The blissful Loki is pushed in the background as he startles because of a particular loud crash. Thor reaches out, probably to comfort him, when the cold furious Loki surfaces again, sneering right into this bright face. It is too much of a risk if he touches him, this part decides. And anyway, he doesn't want that. Why would he? This is a stupid idea, I should have gone straight away. This is just a waste of time and energy. He summons his magic back, so the storm won't be fueled by it anymore.

He is too much absorbed in trying to sort his thoughts that the next peal of thunder truly makes him jump, right into the strong wide arms of Thor. Loki starts trembling under this unexpected touch but the blissful Loki makes a reappearance, not caring about any plans or schemes or what other people may think. He is finally again where he belongs. A place where he can never stay. This thought worsens the tremble until he is shaking from head to toe, trying to overcome the fear of loosing the only one apart from Mother he really cares about, trying hard not to cry because of the finality. How can he let go of this? Why had he cared what would happen if he gave in? Breathing in the familiar and soothing scent of Thor he buries his head in the nape of his neck. Thor's stubble tickles his neck.

Slowly Loki regains control over himself, the shaking stops eventually, but his unconcerned mood continues. Let the worries rest until tomorrow, then he can also deal with any consequences, but all that matters right here right now are the wonderful protecting arms around him, is the sweet forceful breath raking over his hair. He can not remember a single time in the past years he had felt this secure, this belonging to something, this happy.

Thor starts stroking his back while an unseen smile spreads on Loki's face. It takes all his restraint to not press his lips on the soft skin of the neck they are almost touching. How it would taste, feel, he does not dare to think about, it would shatter the little self-control he still clings on. He can feel the calming breathing, can hear the strong heartbeat and it has to be enough.

Occasionally Thor's hand glides further down, in the attempt of comforting him probably accidentally, but Loki wishes nevertheless he would not stop there, the blissful part of him talking him into believing maybe it is not happening by mistake. Almost he leans into the touch whenever it happens. If he is about to regret this,, he wants something to regret, however he just lies still in the arms that haven't embraced him for half an eternity and enjoys it. Slowly he feels his eyelids shut close and sleepiness creeps into his mind because it has been a while since he had felt this snug. He doesn't care anymore about composure or giving himself away.

Unconsciously he cuddles deeper into the warm hug and soon enough feels his consciousness drift away. Worries can wait till the morrow.

The storm quietens in his ears as he concentrates his mind on the warm body next to him, how Thor also seems to drift off and the trickster falls asleep in the arms of the man he could never be selfish enough to trick into loving him.

Loki awakes startled, needing a moment to remember where he is and, moreover, why. Thor's arms are crashing him flush to the chest of the taller man, wonderfully warm wrapping around his body. A small smile creeps onto his lips once more before his logical analyzing self takes over, deciding he should probably leave. That is when he realizes Thor's breath hitches slightly, indicating that he is not as asleep as he pretends to be.

Carefully Loki tries to pull his head back from the crook of Thor's neck but the strong arms keep him in place making it difficult. He is cautious and tries to wind out of them slowly. Thor apparently realizes the freeing attempt and glacially loosens his grip, allowing Loki to slide back. He doesn't even try to prevent from his cheek brushing the one of his brother longer than he can justify to himself. His own breath begins to quicken alongside his heartbeat as the stubble scratches slightly his skin, as he feels the hot breath of Thor on his face. He wishes nothing more than to resume huddling up to him but he forces himself back, bit by bit, dreadfully slowly. Thor is probably too sleep-drunken to release him abruptly.

This is more than he had bargained for, more than he ever dared to think about in the lonely dead of night, more than he had planned allowing himself. He wants to stop the flow of time so he would never have to wake from this bitter-sweet dream. The other part of him wants to turn the time back, making this never happen, he is sure, he would not handle a rejection, from the only person whose opinion counts, too well.

Finally when the wings of their noses touch, scrape against each other, Loki freezes, his breath coming out uncontrollably raging. He closes his eyes, screws them up forcefully, as his mouth opens slightly. Thor also stops to move and they lie there, pressed against each other, for what could have been an eternity or only a second.

Loki can feel their breaths mingle, their lips being only inches apart, and it is all he can do to not give in the temptation of closing this small distance, to truly taste Thor and not just his air. His heart is trying to escape his chest, urging him to draw Thor closer, to let his hands still clutching the shoulder and back of him do what they want to do, to explore without having to hold back. Loki would not be able to move even if he wanted to. The wish to go and the wish to stay are evenly matched.

A small voice tears him from his thoughts, whispering softly but urgently.

'Loki.'

The deep rumbling voice repeats his name one time more, stronger this time, before Loki draws back further, feeling his cheeks flush, but keeping his eyes closed. He does not want to see the repulsion in the blue eyes.

'Loki.' The voice grows quiet again.

Loki realizes Thor had not let go of him yet. He doesn't want me to run of. He noticed my stares and will demand an explanation. He prepares to lie, to deceive his way out of here, even to embrace the pain of a broken heart, so he will not loose the only light that had never truly left his life. He prepares to sneer right in Thor's face, to shatter his own heart so he would maybe able to save the pieces. He could not bear Thor hating him, despising him but he had always seen this day coming.

Cautiously he opens his eyes, prepared to face anger, hate, detestation but when he finally musters the courage to look into those eyes he loathes and loves in equal shares he is surprised to find none of these there but something he cannot place.  
Almost in slow-motion Thor's face comes closer again, Loki completely turning rigid realizing it is not him who closes the distance. His breath comes to a stillstand as surprisingly soft lips touch his, hesitant but not unintentional. His brain tries to catch up but he feels hopelessly lost, not even able to respond instead just lies as still as he can, trying to make sense to this. Confusion takes up all the space in his brain, making it impossible for him to distinguish the thousand thoughts chasing each other properly, making it impossible to do anything than stare at Thor in shock. Loki does not dare to hope, forbids himself every thought of being happy.

After what feels like a wonderful eternity Thor draws back, a look of shock equaling his on his face, hurt shining deep in this eyes. He can feel a frown on his brow. Why had his brother done that?

A part of his is still warily analyzing this strange behavior, but the best part of his mind is busy rejoicing. He has kissed me. He realizes he still stares blankly at Thor.

The blond looks like he tries to hide tears, looking anywhere but Loki's eyes which fill with all the love he had hold back.  
Thor mumbles: 'I am sorry, I..'

Further he does not get before Loki realizes his mistake and leaps forward to press his lips gently on Thor's, enjoying the touch this time, taking in every detail. Slowly he moves his lips and in no time Thor kisses him back. He allows his mind to roam freely, pushes every dark thought away, there would later be enough time to deal with them. Thor's hand caresses his cheek and Loki gives himself up to the touch. The kiss is better than he had ever imagined it could be, sweet, wonderful, divine.

They break apart, both breathing heavy, looking into each others eyes, seeing equal surprise, wonder, bliss. They lips touch a few times while they catch their breaths. Loki doesn't want to be far ever again from those perfect soft lips, feeling that if he stops now he would wake up from this unblemished moment and find himself all alone.

'I am sorry.' He hears himself echo the words Thor had used mere minutes ago. 'You surprised me.'

'I surprised myself.' Thor kisses him chastely again, smiling widely and serene.

'Why now?'

'Because I never would have dared if I would not have done it now.'

A smile curls Loki's lips. 'I'm glad you did.'

'I did not hope you would answer.'

'How could I not? I longed to kiss you so long.' Loki registers too late what he had said, what he had just confessed and blushes furiously, very uncharacteristic of him. Norns, I am said to have a silver tongue, well, I certainly proved that prejudice wrong. Afraid of how Thor would react Loki looks away quickly, looking unconsciously for a way to escape.  
But Thor just cups his face, brushes his lips over his.

'I am glad to hear.', Thor's voice is deep and unusually quiet. 'I thought I had lost you forever.'

'You could never loose me.' How ridiculous the thought is. 'I was never far away, always I have been watching you from the shadows, hoping you'd notice me. I believed you didn't want me near you.'

'I want to know you at my side, that never changed, I always wanted to be near you. I always felt more secure when you were around.' Their fingers entwine.

'But you draw back.' It comes out more accusing than Loki intends.

Thor sighs. 'I did. I thought, if I would put enough distance between us, this feelings would vanish.'

'This feelings?', Loki can't help but ask. It almost sounds frantic. He needs to hear, he needs to make sure this is not just a reaction but real.

'I thought if I'd stay away I would forget that I love you. More than a brother.' His heart skips a beat.

Loki's short laugh is mirthless. 'Same strategy I engaged.'

'Stupid strategy.'

'Yes, it would seem so.' It is useless to say it but he wants him to know. Loki has to make this leap of faith. He is too lighthearted to care about consequences. All he knows is that reason can wait and Thor has to know. It comes out as barely a whisper. 'I love you, too.' And the trickster falls, deeper than he would have ever believed possible. Falls into the black light-blue abyss with no means to stop now anymore. His walls break around him, and for a moment he regrets his hasty words. He laid his soul bare only ever to Thor, and all he can do is to hope Thor is still worthy of it. That he would not use his words as a weapon like so many others before. Loki had learned that being closed of is the only possibility to ensure not being used and hurt and shattered. A single tear escapes.

A wide loving smile spreads on Thor's face as he stretches out to kiss Loki softly. He should never doubt his brother. They fall silent, looking into each others eyes, blue and green, clinging on to the other.

'Thor?'

'Yes.'

Loki closes his eyes briefly, trying to pluck up the courage to ask the next question.

'What is this?'

He searches the blue eyes desperately for the answer he does not have or does not dare to know. Eventually Thor strokes his cheek again.

'I do not know.'

Loki nods slowly. 'Me neither.'

'I just know I do not want it to end.'

The plainness of this statement amazes Loki. He had never seen his brother so emotionally open. He almost has to blink tears away. Loki had seldom felt so vulnerable and unprotected.

'I don't want us to go back to before.', he whispers barely audible. It would be too painful, he would shatter.

'Then let us not.'

The simplicity of his thinking makes him almost roll his eyes in frustration if he wouldn't want to believe him so badly. Thor kisses him again, more urging this time, silencing every objection of Loki. Loki gives up trying and kisses Thor with the same longing in sheer desperation. Carefully Thor bows over him, never putting too much weight on Loki's slender body, never stopping to kiss him, sweet, gentle, tender. Loki's fingers flow lightly over the broad shoulders, the strong back, barely touching it, loving tracing the muscles, bones. It does not matter if he lays his amour down around Thor, it does not matter if he falls. He knows the big blond man would always be there to protect him. Thor would always catch him. And for now that is enough. 

xXxXxXx

 **A/N: Hello again ;)**

 **I hope you enjoyed this little blast from the past and stay tuned for more. Moreover I hope you will not find the pair of them too much OOC. In the future they will be more like their former selves (hopefully). I tried to get as close as I could to what I think would be their individual reactions to emotional stress like this. Loki, of course, had to know what his brother feels and that it is not just a fleeting thingy and Thor would be careful to not urge Loki into saying something and feel too vulnerable. Loki would be emotionally shattering, laying open probably too much for his own liking and Thor would comfort him. Well, we'll see what the morning tidings will be. Maybe not everything is perfectly pink by now. *evil cackle***

 **I don't know, tell me your thoughts please ^^ So please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and see you next Saturday :)**

 **Just by the way, the 217 years prior refer to the first 'chapter', just in case you wondered, that is our 'point zero'.**


	3. Chapter 3 Plans Without Purposes

**A/N: Thank you for the review and follow and favorite, hope you do enjoy this next chapter.**

 **Warning: This chapter contains explicit adult material [there is actually a reason I rated this M], if you have a problem with that, feel free to either skip this chapter or the offensive parts. [Which would be like the whole middle]. My excuse is, well... I was a little blue this week and needed to write something to cheer me up. More I don't have ^^**

 **Wolfsprinzessin: Thank you for your feedback, it was very helpful. And because you inspired me so much for this chapter, I dedicate it completely to you. (^.^) Just as a quick reminder, you once told me I should practice to get better. So, technically, this is not entirely my fault. I hope you enjoy ;)**

* * *

Plans Without Purposes

 _Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.  
Albert Einstein_

Carefully Loki blinks against the sunlight. It still must be very early. Why does Thor not sleep like him with all the curtains close-drawn? He turns his head away from the window to look at the big shape next to him. Half is he tempted to leave as usual but the his eyes dart up to the mess of blond hair spreading on the pillow. His face cracks into a grin. It just demands to be tousled even more. Licking his lips pictures of last night flash through his mind. Thor might be one of the greatest warriors in the nine realms but Loki knows exactly how to make him beg. And last night Thor was begging, literally on his knees. Already having woken half-hard the memories make it not easier to lie on his stomach. He knows exactly what would grant him Thor's undivided attention, how the blond would become suddenly wide awake, what always made him grin like a Cheshire cat.

Loki sighs. Not having the heart to wake the peacefully sleeping Thor he crawls a little closer to him, breathing in his dark scent, still lying on his stomach he realizes he kicked his sheets off again. Not that he'd care, it is warm enough here, maybe even a little too warm. He just wishes Thor would have the same habit instead of always pulling up his covers to his chest.  
Slowly he extends his hand and traces the lines of Thor's face before deciding that, one time, the library is not more important than waking up in the arms of his love. He creeps closer and rolls on his side, cuddling himself into Thor's side, his soft hands trailing down his torso.

One more time Loki looks up into his face before falling asleep again. He hadn't slept well the past few nights, looking for answers, knowing he has to be close, his thoughts refusing to cooperate when he went to bed, and with his head resting on the broad chest, the steady strong heartbeat of the warrior in his ear, it is just too tempting to stay a little longer.

As he wakes the next time the sun has climbed a considerable distance higher but is luckily not shining in his face this time. Strong arms hold him tight. Loki opens one eye to take in his surroundings until it falls upon two blue eyes twinkling and a mouth curled into a small loving smile. He opens his other eye as well to absorb the whole of the face looking down at him.

'Good morning.' Even this early in the morning Thor's voice is booming, making his chest vibrate, but interestingly soft at the same time.

'Good morning,', he replies in his soft voice, such a contrast to his lovers.

'First time I remember I woke up first.'

Loki scoffs. 'You wish. I woke first but I had no chance to leave, the way you're keeping me hostage here.' Even after more than two centuries Loki's pride forbids him to simply admit he stayed just because he wanted to. A small smile still creeps on his face as he motions to the arm slung around his waist.

'It has been rare that you stayed over. Especially in the last time.', he sounds wistful.

'Let go of me and I am not even here.' Thor just tightens the embrace which elicits a little smile from Loki. He can always feel safe here.

'Why would I want that?' Thor's thumb caresses his cheek. 'You could always stay.'

'You know that that is impossible.' And far too divine.

Thor sighs deeply. 'It would still be nice.' A sly smile spreads on his face. 'I almost forgot how gorgeous you look in the morning.' His hand travels down his waist to his hip.

'I love it when you wake up horny.', Loki whispers in his ear, letting his tongue glide over the rim of it. As expected his hands wander further down, grasping his bottom. Thor's eyes darken with lust. Loki sighs with pleasure, maybe a little louder than necessary, knowing Thor loves that.

Thor's smile falters. 'Loki, you're freezing.'

'No, I am not.'

'You are cold like ice.'

'Maybe you're just too hot?', a mischievous grin graces Loki's lips.

'No arguments!'

The wonderful warm hands vanish from his body as Thor raises his sheets to draw Loki under them, crushing him to his chest. Loki is almost sure he heard one of his rips crack but does not struggle, just snuggles deeper into those hot arms. As unrestrained and uncontrolled as this he can always just be around Thor. No one else could ever give him the same feeling of acceptance and safety. Gently his pale fingers trail over the tanned chest down to his stomach.

'Well, if you insist on warming me.'

His hand goes further down while his lips begin tracing Thor's exposed neck. The blond bends his head and captures his lips for a long kiss, pulling Loki on top of him. He parts his legs so Loki can slip between them, pulling him closer at the same time to keep their lips together. As he breaks the kiss for air Loki's mouth instantly resumes the kissing and licking of his neck, whispering in his ear: 'Already hard, my love?', with an impish grin on his face.

He moans as Thor rocks his hips up to press his erection against Loki's beginning one, not caring about composure anymore. It just feels far too enjoyable.

'You're truly the most teasing tease in the nine.', Thor growls when he begins to move his hips carefully. 'You really want a repetition of last night?' Loki can hear the grin in his voice.

He kisses the sweet spot right under the blond's ear, eliciting a moan and a harder thrust of his hips.

'So impatient.', the trickster murmurs. 'Can't await to fuck me?'

Thor grasps his bottom. 'Swallowed your silver tongue as well last night?', he gasps out, panting a little. Loki's hand begins the travel down Thor's body once more, holding him down when Loki slowly pushes himself up to have more space. As soon as his lips touch Thor's he opens his mouth willingly, welcoming Loki's tongue eagerly. They battle shortly for dominance, Thor moaning loudly into the kiss as Loki's fingers wrap around his cock. He had always loved the feeling in his hand, even more in other places, but that is soon to be, he tells himself. Instantly Thor starts thrusting in his hand. Loki's thumb circles around the tip, spreading the pre-come, making Thor grasp for breath. He begins a new attack on Thor's lips, more demanding now, kissing, licking and biting them, wanting to make them red and kiss-swollen, all the while stroking Thor's cock. The blond under him is making the most wonderful sounds by now. Biting once more down on his lower lip Loki breaks the kiss.

Both are panting by now. Thor's usually bright blue eyes are dark as he looks up to Loki, lips millimeters apart. Thor's hot breathe makes him shiver. In this moment he just wants to make Thor scream his name over and over again. He rolls his hips down, wrapping his hand now around both their cocks together and strokes. Delighted he notes that Thor throws his head back, arching his back to get more.

A whimper escapes Thor's mouth when Loki lets go and raises himself a little more, kissing him again with no further body contact. He tries to pull his closer again, but Loki just shakes his head laughing silently.

'Why should I use my silver tongue for talking when there are far more delightful things to do?' Loki quickly licks over Thor's lips, before proceeding to kiss the rest of his body, slowly sliding down, one hand firmly placed on his hip to keep him from pleasuring himself. Loki wants to enjoy every second of this, his lover lying writhing beneath him, living just for his caresses. He would decide when it is time for the release, a feeling of power flows through him. The mighty Thor, whimpering for more of his touches, who would never give in in battle, except Loki knows how to play him, knows how to rile him up until he would beg him to make him come.

Loki has to suppress the urge to rush forward when Thor's fingers dig into his bottom and he moans loudly. He really wears his heart on his sleeve, Loki thinks grinning, taking one of his nipples in his mouth, first placing light kisses on it before sucking at it.

'Loki.'

Carefully gracing it with his teeth one last time, he resumes his path down, feeling Thor quivering beneath him, wanting him to proceed faster. Triumph curls Loki's lips. He lets the sheets covering them slip to the ground.

Skipping Thor's demanding lap he starts to lick his inner thigh, running his hands up and down Thor's calves. A groan escapes his lips.

'Loki!'

Again he tries to thrust his hips up. Loki presses a kiss as close to the needy cock as he can without touching it. Loki's green eyes dart up, searching blue ones. He pretends to want to close the distance but just presses a kiss to the other side of his groin.

'Loki, stop teasing!', Thor demands breathless.

'What is the magic word, my love?', Loki's breath ghosts around Thor's cock, making him undoubtedly wanting thrust up but Loki's hand holds him down, he knows Loki will just start when he knows he is control.

'Please.', he pleads.

He keeps eye-contact while lowering his mouth bit by bit, watching his reactions attentively, how his breath hitches slightly, how his pupils seem to widen even more, leaving almost nothing of the brilliant blue in their wake.

His tongue darts out, licking the wet tip fast. Thor presses his hips down, the muscles around his neck clench. The sight is breath-taking. Loki takes the hands from Thor's hips, licking the palm of one of them, before wrapping it around the hard cock again, slowly moving it up and down. Thor's eyes flutter as he apparently tries hard to keep control over his movements. The brief moment is enough for Loki take the tip into his mouth, circling it with his tongue, teasing Thor even more. The small scream from the blond is music in his ears.

When he draws the tip of his tongue along the whole shaft Loki feels Thor's hand entangling in his hair, silently demanding more. Placing butterfly kisses all over his cock he simultaneously strokes Thor's thighs, drawing always louder moans of pleasure. Loki is rock-hard by now, and is concentrating hard on not taking care of his own throbbing erection as his own need grows. His tongue swirls around the tip once more before giving in to the begging of his lover and encloses him completely with his mouth, slipping down to the hilt and up again. The trickster hums slightly to the divine sounds his lover delivers. Risking a glance up he sees Thor closed his eyes. Judging by the way he rolls his hips up he must be close. Close enough, Loki decides before releasing Thor's cock with a soft pop.

The blond immediately bemoans the loss, his grip on Loki's hair tries to shove him down again. Loki chuckles lowly, giving a last thorough swish with his tongue before crawling over him to capture Thor's lips for a deep kiss. He straddles the hips of his lover, while said pulls him closer, running his hands down Loki's sides. Loki rocks his hips slowly, enjoying every moment, every touch. The pre-come and his spit make their cocks slick, their movements much more stimulant.

A raw 'Thor!' escapes his lips before their tongues entwine again.

'I can't wait, Loki.', Thor's voice is choked as he breaks the kiss to press out the words. 'I need you.' He tries to turn Loki on his back as to lie on top of him but Loki pins down his arms.

'Not today, my love.' The light voice is breathless. 'I love it when you lie on your back.', the trickster whispers in his ear. 'I want you like this, lying under me.' Thor arches his back, closing the remaining distance. 'You had your fun yesterday, now it's my turn.' The blond moans deeply in consent. Kissing Thor one last time Loki sits up, knees resting on both sides of his hips, pressing their groins together, giving both of them the friction they need.

'Loki!', Thor moans loudly, clearly close.

'Thor, I.. I want you.', he grunts out, trying to catch his breath. His hands stroke the muscles of Thor's chest and stomach appreciating.

'Shall I..?' Thor experimentally parts his legs slightly.

'No. I want you. Inside of me.' His breath hitches, his voice is hoarse. Loki growls: 'Fuck me, Thor. Now.' The last words are demanding, needy, almost desperate.

He wraps his long slender fingers around Thor's hard length, moving up and down before raising himself unto his knees. Bringing Thor in position he lowers himself slowly, feeling his muscles clench because of the unexpected intrusion but fortunately still stretched enough from last night to handle, before he is fully seated. A long moan escapes his mouth, Thor's grip on his hips is iron, it is sure to bruise, and Loki wishes it would be even tighter. His lover's body is a land of wonders, the interaction of muscles under tight skin, he could watch it forever.

When the pain slowly ebbs away Thor is squirming under him, begging him to move, begging him for release, for pleasure. The urge to relent becomes overwhelming, Thor feels too good in him. Looking into the depths of his eyes Loki slowly begins to move up and down, Thor encouraging him by thrusting his hips up, urging deeper, trying to find a rhythm, holding the eye-contact, not wanting to miss a single sign of pleasure of his love. Quickly the movements become faster, Loki raises himself higher until Thor almost slips out before slamming down again. Thor already gasps, moans his name. Again he lets himself fall, Thor pulling him down hard.

Suddenly Loki screams out, eyes fluttering shut briefly, as Thor hits his prostate with full force. Instantly Thor angles Loki to hit the spot over and over, making him scream with pleasure. His lover wraps his hand around his neglected cock, working it in the same rhythm with Loki's movements. The double stimulation of his bottom and cock together with a scream of Thor are enough to bring him over the edge. His muscles clench as the tension snaps, Loki is riding out his orgasm, spilling his seed over Thor's stomach. The blond follows swift, feeling the tightening around his cock he jerks up and pulls Loki forcefully with both hands hard against him. Green eyes are locking into blue ones as their cries mingle.

Loki sinks against his heaving chest, not caring about the mess, and tries to catch his breath with Thor. After some minutes Loki slips to his side, Thor slides out of him. Strangely he already misses the feeling of Thor as his seed flows out of him, staining the sheets even more. Loki couldn't care less. The glorious feeling after his high still has a tight grip on him, even though not tight enough as that he wouldn't know that he'll be sore later. He feels empty and full of love at the same time.  
Thor's hand strokes his back light. Loki cuddles deeper into his arms, filled by an inner peace that always just is there when he is close like this with Thor. A real smile creeps over his face, something rarely anyone sees.

'Do you have any plans for today?', he hears himself asking, hope swinging in every syllable.

'I do not think so. Why?' Thor presses a kiss on his hair.

'I can barely remember the last time we spend an entire day in bed.' Loki's hands wander already down his body again.

Thor's deep rumbling laughter shakes him slightly. 'I would love to, but I fear I first need to get a bath.', he motions to his stomach coated in Loki's drying seed.

'Right.' A lazy hand-move lets it vanish along with every other stain on them. 'Nothing magic can't fix for us.'

Thor grins as Loki stretches his neck to kiss those flawless lips, still a little reddened. The prospect of spending the whole day with his love brighten his mood immensely. He does not want to waste a single second. Laughing Thor breaks the kiss.

'Insatiable today, are we?'

Loki's mouth slips immediately down to Thor's neck while he puts himself on top of the god of thunder once more, kissing every inch of the offered skin. In between he bites the sensitive flesh, wanting to leave marks. When he bites down particular hard it elicits a loud moan from Thor, who clasps his back.

'Can't hear you complaining.', Loki raises his head to look at him, pale cheeks still slightly flushed.

Thor crushes his lips grinning on his, tongues dancing. The dark voice murmurs against his mouth: 'You don't even wear your horny helmet today.' Silent laughter shakes the two men.

'Oh, shut up!' His tongue forces entrance which Thor just all too willingly grants. He is pressed flush against the broad chest, he wants to be even closer. Carefully Thor rolls him over, now lying on top, he's propped up on his arm so Loki won't have his whole, not exactly light weight on his chest. Their kisses become more tender, more careful, more loving. Loki's hands trace his upper arms, his shoulders.

A knock on the door lets them freeze immediately.

'My Prince?'

An unknown female voice asks softly through the door. Thor props himself further up and Loki can see a small glance of panic in his eyes. His brother always has been a terrible liar, but until now they had successfully avoided being caught. Hopefully this insolent maiden would not change that or she'd pay most dearly. Loki hides his face in the crook of his neck, ready to shape-shift should that insufferable woman dare to open the door. More than once only this special ability of his had stopped them from blowing their cover.

'What is it?', Thor inquires friendly, just sounding a little bit impatient in the background. She probably won't notice, she doesn't know him as well as Loki.

'The king requests your presence, my Prince.'

'Has he said for what?' Curiosity also sweeps through Loki. What could their father want from him this early? If he had summoned him as well? Maybe he should hurry back to his rooms soon.

'No, my Prince.'

Thor's eyes search Loki's face, he just shrugs.

'Will my brother be there as well?'

'I do not know, I was just send to bring word to you.'

A lie, she does know. What could the All-father have to talk to Thor about? Why is Loki again not invited?

'Tell him, I will be there as soon as I can.', Thor sighs and Loki rolls his eyes. He could as well have told her that he has company.

'As you wish, my Prince.'

Her steps quickly loose themselves in the hallway. Thor rolls down from him but doesn't release him yet.

'I am sorry, I fear we must reschedule our joint day.'

A forced smile appears on Loki's lips which almost seems genuine. 'It is alright. You should not let Father wait.' He struggles to free himself. Thor presses their lips together.

'I am honest. I'd rather spend the day with you than to sit through another endless meeting. You should know that.' He holds his face still close, blue eyes pleading for understanding.

'It is alright, Thor.', Loki repeats. 'I have to continue my study anyway. It would have been most irresponsible to withdraw ourselves for a whole day.'

'But enjoyable all the same.'

Loki tries to summon his usual boredom, his arrogance, something so Thor won't see the hurt in his eyes but apparently he fails. It gets more and more difficult to hide his emotions from the blond. Silently he curses himself for not being able to do that, for letting his walls slip, for ever allowing himself to be so vulnerable around him. He should have went away this morning when he first awoke. He should have walked away when Thor invited him first to his bed. A chaste kiss on his lips brings him back.

'I love you.'

His anger vanishes to smoke. If he cannot be himself around Thor, he would loose himself entirely in his lies, his deceits, his covers. He is acting stupid.

'I love you too.' More than I could ever express, and I am rather good with words.

Thor smiles happily.

'Do you want to meet me tonight? We could spend the evening together.'

'Would not your friends miss your company? They don't seem to survive without you too long.', venom is dripping from every word. Loki stands up and starts to collect his clothes which lie scattered across the room, exactly where they had fallen the previous evening.

Thor follows slower, closing the distance to him.

'Loki.'

He cups his face, forces him to look into the beloved bright eyes.

'Our friends can wait. I want to spend the evening with you. You should know that as well.'

Loki sighs deeply before saying with a weak voice: 'I know. I just..' I just really would have liked to spend the day with you, too. He leans on his lover.

'I know.', Thor smiles lovingly, then pulls him into a kiss. He had always been able to read him like a book even when he is hiding behind his façade. It is tiring for both of them to hide all the time, to never be able to express in front of anyone what they feel, to not act how they want to, to paying heed to their every word. 'It is you and me.'

'Against the rest of the Nine.', Loki completes laughing mildly.

'Always.'

He smiles affectionately at Thor. He would be able to rely on him till Ragnarok. He stretches his neck to kiss him.

After breaking the kiss Thor asks: 'Will you come tonight?'

He tries to roll his eyes but the small smile tucked in the corner of his mouth destroys the illusion of annoyance. 'All right.' Loki slightly inclines his head. 'You should still hurry and not keep Father waiting.'

A strong hand glides down his side, pulling him into another kiss.

'I see you tonight.'

Loki smiles silently before teleporting to his own rooms. Looking at the hourglass on his table he sees it is too late to go to breakfast. It would only rise suspicions, at this time he never is found in the dining hall. His stomach rumbles angry at the prospect of no food at all. Maybe he could later sneak into the kitchens to get some sustenance. He sighs and goes to his washing room to get ready for the day.

The black tome of yesterday lies neatly on his desk, ready to be opened and being raided for hidden secrets. Another glance at the hourglass makes Loki turn away from his study. He had needed longer than expected in the washing room. There had been absolutely no need or want to hurry. It is too late to start anyway, it is almost lunchtime, and his stomach demands food. Usually he would not feel his body's demands because his nose would be buried between the pages of a book or his own writing, trying to make sense to a particular complicated aspect of a spell. But now he has nothing to distract him. His thoughts dart without a given direction back to Thor, like they always do. He had craved to spend the day with his love more than he dares to admit to himself.

He shakes his head. Brooding isn't going to do any good, at least today he has something to look forward to. They always are interrupted, he should be used to it by now. He never had thought he could wish for a normal relationship but he finds it increasingly hard not to do so. Not, that he would ever tell Thor or anyone else about this.

He is the god of mischief. He has a reputation to loose. Secrets and concealment and sneaking are his nature. And it is exciting to keep this from everyone, to steal a kiss when there is a big chance of getting caught. Loki loves it that Thor is his little, or rather big, secret, that they don't share this with anyone, that he does not share Thor with anyone. What is it then when the trickster has to spend an afternoon alone? Tonight Thor would be fully his again, he would not have to share his attention with anyone, especially not with his friends.

The notes from yesterday evening still lie next to the book. Might as well still get some work done, Loki tells himself and sits down, opening the book and checking again his translations, forcing himself to get at least some work done. This has to be completed, it would grant him more time with his love. What are mere hours now when this would enable them to spend whole days together without anyone noticing? Travel through the branches of Yggdrasil would make it possible to return each night should one of them have to go on a diplomatic mission again, they wouldn't have to be apart for days and weeks and months. Never again. With this motivation Loki tries to concentrate on the complicated runes.

However, he finds it unusual hard to keep his concentration because his thoughts dart back to Thor, to the important talk which Odin again does not wish to share with him, to the missed chance of spending the day off. Shaking his head Loki walks over to the window, looking out onto the city.

Truth be told, he would rather spend his hours now with Thor than having more time in several weeks at the earliest, if he at all would somewhen find the correct spell. Not all plans go as planned and one can never be to sure what the Norns have in petto for them. Maybe something would go wrong, leaving Loki stranded somewhere and he would never see Thor again? But it is worth the risk, he tells himself. It is not just for him but also for his love, Thor hates it as much as he does to be separated. He just has to know.

He wishes Thor's strong arms would encircle him, they always make the dark thoughts vanish, make him see the good in himself, make him see the purpose of the worlds.

He doubts he will be able to spend the day inside, alone, he is too excited about this evening. Thor promised a whole evening with just the two of them. A smile curls his lips.

Casting a glance to the work waiting for him on his desk, he sighs. Today he would for the first time in an eternity not find peace in his books.

xXxXxXx

 **A/N: Okay, so no complete PwP but at least very very long ^^ And no, I am not talking just about Thor's hammer. So, this was my first try on something explicit, please be gentle.**

 **However, to have no plot at all was a little too much so we at least delve into a beginning of a story in the end.**  
 **I listened to Nirvana the whole time while writing this, it might have had an impact. But maybe I just ignored the music after a while, who can tell?**

 **The next few chapters still won't be part of the original end-story even though they will be the preparation because I rather enjoy the couple and don't want to rush but, please, tell me when it gets boring and I gotta get a move on.**

 **As usual, please tell me what you think.**

 **Hope you enjoyed and please leave a review :D**

 **PS: Did you get the title's acronym? I am so funny ^^**


	4. Chapter 4 Decisions

**Thank you for your support, and a special thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved and alerted this story, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

Decisions

 _I am the Spirit that denies! And rightly too; for all that doth begin should rightly to destruction run.  
Faust I, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_

 _217 years prior..._

A frown appears on Thor's face as he recapitulates the events of last night. Loki had been there and had talked about nothing that would capture his interest. Then they had talked and then.. Thor opens his eyes immediately and a wide grin spreads on his face as he remembers the kisses. Never has the morning light of Asgard seemed so bright as this morning when he realizes that Loki reciprocates his feelings. He remembers falling asleep, his love closely embraced but his bed is empty.

'Loki?', he calls out softly, hoping against hope that he would be close by.

He receives no answer and a single black hair curled on his pillow is the only proof he has yesterday night truly happened. Thor stretches his back and stands up. Going to the washing room enclosing his chambers he rids himself of the tunic and the trousers he had worn yesterday evening. He slips into the bathing water, trying to relax his mind to think clearly. He remembers how his brother's body had felt in his arms when he comforted him, how tempting it had been to fall asleep and how he had fought to stay awake to enjoy this short moment of borrowed happiness. How perfect this realm had seemed when he had finally mustered the courage of simply giving in the desire to kiss Loki, how self-doubt and hurt and realization what he just had done had filled him before the dark haired man had returned the kiss and transformed those feelings into love and happiness and pride.

He couldn't have cared less about anything else than the cool body against his chest, his fingers trailing over the covered skin, touching this pale thin lips with his but now, fully awake and with a little distance he can see the validity of his little brothers question of what exactly this is. Thor wants this to be anything it can be, he is sure of this as of nothing else before. Years and decades he had spend denying his feelings for Loki, but now that he had had a taste of the bliss he had forsaken himself he is not willing to give it up for anything again. Thor still can't think really straight. Loki had truly kissed him back. He has no doubt anymore, he wants this.

It is still quite early, maybe he could catch him in the dining hall to tell him. Loki had had the brains to think of something so serious while kissing him, while he just could think of all the good sides, Thor has no doubt the trickster would still brood over it. Almost jumping out of the water he gets dressed immediately, leaving wet footprints all over the floor before containing himself from actually running to breakfast.

Asgard has few rules concerning sexuality but one for sure is excluding close relatives from forming relationships. This is one reason Thor had always kept his feelings to himself, not wanting to endanger his beloved brother's life, but now, walking down the hallways, he thinks of a way around this rule. He is more than willing to break it and Loki isn't known as god of mischief for nothing, for him this will just be an extra kick. But he had thought of it, and Thor hadn't. They could not be officially a couple, not now at least. His mind is running haywire. When he would be king no rules would apply anymore..  
Entering the dining hall he indeed spots straightway black sleek hair framing a pale face. Loki sits together with Fandral and Sif at a table at the far end side of the room, the place his brother usually occupies when hoping not to be noticed. His friends must have found him there. For once in his life Thor wishes his friends would be gone so he could breakfast alone with Loki. A little scowl crosses his face, then he remembers how his brother would always tease him for not being able to keep his emotions to himself. That lets a smile appear as Thor approaches the table. The talk would have to wait.

'Good morning.', he greets them friendly, trying to make eye-contact to Loki especially. He is the only one to not look up surprised at his entrance.

'Good morning, Thor. What are you doing here so early?', Fandral asks.

'It is too good a day to spend in bed.', Thor replies smiling, still keeping his eyes fixed on the dark haired man across the table.

Finally green eyes flicker across his face but not even a greeting leaves the silver tongued mouth. Why is he ignoring me?

Fandral and Sif exchange plans for the day with Thor. They agree to go on a ride through the woods as soon as Hogun and Volstagg join them and had their meal.

'Would you like to join us?' Thor is happy that Fandral asks Loki, he had always gotten along the best with Loki out of all their friends. This way he wouldn't seem desperate and would have a good chance of spending some time alone with Loki. It is no secret their horses are much faster than most of the others.

A second later Thor's daydreams are shattered.

'I fear my schedule won't allow me such freedoms today. Maybe next time.' He knows that is Loki's universal code for 'I simply don't want to and I don't care to give you reasons'. With that Loki finishes his meal and makes attempts to stand up.

'I would like a word later, Loki. Maybe we could meet this afternoon?', Thor tries to sound casual.

Loki looks for a moment insecure before his mask of civility slips back up. 'I promised to spend this afternoon with Mother. I am sorry.'

'Then tonight?'

'I must still oversee the progress of the preparations for the arrival of the envoys.' There is definitely an edge now in his voice.

He inclines his head to the three and goes to the doors. Thor just hesitates a second before excusing himself going after Loki, reaching his side just outside the doors.

'Wait.'

'What?', Loki snaps back, turning to him.

'I.. I just wanted to talk.', he feels stupefied by Loki's abrupt change of behavior.

'Can't that wait? I have a lot of work to do today.'

'Of course.' He wants to believe him really it is just that which is causing this reaction. 'But this is important as well.'

He sighs. 'What is it about?'

Thor looks around and notices already curious glances being shot in their direction. 'Not here. I need to talk to you in private.'

'Fine, but not today, alright? I am really busy right now.'

'Is that all?'

Loki scowls. 'What else should there be?'

'Nothing. But as soon as possible we really have to talk.'

Again Loki inclines his head. 'Rest reassured, brother.'

The dark figure makes his way quickly down the corridor and leaves Thor frowning behind. Why had he insisted on the 'brother'? Is it just a coincidence or because others are around? This formal he had never been before. Is it really just stress talking here? Maybe he worries too much and Loki wants to talk to him also as bad as he wants and with his last remark just reminded him that here is not the place. Yes, Thor thinks, that is it going to be. The worries still don't leave his mind completely as he resumes breakfast.

'What was that about?', Sif inquires.

'I just need to talk to him.', Thor shrugs it away.

'Care to tell us about what?', Fandral interferes.

'About something he said last night.' Thor knows he isn't the best liar and tells himself, technically it is no lie so he has no reason to feel guilty. 'I didn't really listen to all this talk about the ambassador meeting so I guess it is safer to ask him again rather than Father.'

'Safer to tell Loki you haven't listened?', Fandral laughs. 'I don't know if I'd not rather face the All-father's wrath. Especially since Loki seems to be in quite a mood today.'

'What do you mean?', asks Thor. Had Fandral also noticed his strange behavior?

'Well, he seemed preoccupied the whole meal, he tried to hide here, I almost oversaw him. He apparently didn't want company.'

'Be honest, Fandral, he had a go at us as soon as we sat down. Loki was even more narky than usual.'

'He is not narky.', Thor interrupts her without thinking.

'Since when are you so protective about him?' Sif's eyes narrow. 'Normally you are the one pointing it out.'

'He is still my brother.' He hopes they didn't hear the small hesitation in front of brother. He reminds himself to be more careful and more normal around his friends or he can tell them right away. And that he would never do, he swears to himself. Neither on purpose nor accidentally. Even though everything in him screams to check the library before going down to the stables he resists the temptation, knowing it would only raise suspicions. Hogun and Volstagg join them a short time later at the table, fortunately they hadn't witnessed the scene with Loki and soon provide distraction from this theme.

After a ride through the forest surrounding the city and a long lunch his friends need to attend their duties and Thor can finally continue his thoughts about Loki without being told every few seconds he looks distracted. His friends had guessed that something happened to him since yesterday afternoon but fortunately he had convinced them that Loki had frightened him a little because of the upcoming meeting. He still wonders what Loki's behavior had meant and hopes to encounter him in the library as usual.

'Loki?'

He gets just the usual silence of the library as an answer. Thor isn't going to let himself be fooled, Loki would never be loud in this place and especially would not answer him while he is yelling. He wanders between the shelves and finds Loki, hidden behind a book, in his usual secluded corner.

'Loki.'

The dark haired man looks up. Is he just imagining the sore look crossing the pale features?

'What can I do for you, brother?' By the cold civility Thor is almost completely taken aback.

'I still want to talk.'

'And you see that I am busy.', Loki says conversationally with a small smile.

Thor can't agree, he rather looks like he is just reading for fun, the table isn't covered in his usual notes. 'All right, then, when do you have time?'

He seems to think about his answer. 'I don't know yet but I will make sure to let you know, brother.'

With that he stands up and heads for the door but Thor catches his arm as he marches past him. This time Thor is sure he is not imagining the fury that glitters in Loki's eyes barely contained. Slightly he leans forward to capture Loki's lips for a kiss but the ravenette just jerks back annoyed.

'About last night.. I want this, Loki.'

His eyes dart through the empty room. 'Are you insane?', he hisses after assuring himself that there really is no one hiding. 'Do you want everyone to know?' He tries to slip Thor's grasp and turns with rage around when he doesn't let him go. This is important, Thor would not let him get away without an answer. He understands that Loki is worried and maybe insecure at the moment and he wants to help him.

'Loki.' Thor's patience is wearing thin. Why doesn't he want to speak to him?

'Thor, I don't have time.'

'Fine, then when do you want to have this conversation, brother?' He puts special emphasis on the last word. Panic flickers through those green eyes but is replaced by a calculating look almost immediately.

'Not here, not now.'

'Tonight?'

'I am already late.'

'For what?'

'For my next appointment. Now, if you'll excuse me.'

He breaks free from Thor's grasp and quickly leaves the room and Thor behind. What was that about? Why would Loki not accept comfort? Again he had postponed their meeting indefinitely. Why is Loki evading him? Maybe he is afraid, a small voice whispers. He showed his feelings, something he hadn't done in years and years. But then why would he not want to hear they are reciprocated? Maybe he has doubts and just reacted yesterday and didn't really mean it, another voice intervenes. Thor shakes his head.

All this is leading to nothing. He has to get answers. Next time Loki would not get away from him so easily.

Later that evening Thor spots his mother with some of her women chatting but can't see Loki. So he had been right, his brother just doesn't want to speak to him. Well, Thor would certainly not give up so easy. Surrender is not really in his nature. He decides not to talk to Mother, it will just raise suspicions why Loki uses her as an excuse. Searching the library and his other usual hiding spots after dinner is without result and knocking on his door at this time of day would either get no answer because he isn't there or because he would pretend not to be there. Thor sighs. He would have to try again tomorrow.

xXxXx

He should have never allowed this to go this far. Yesterday had been nothing but a colossal error. The kiss should have never happened, neither their emotional heart to heart. He should have never let the blond see behind his walls, he should have been stronger and refuse and deny and destroy a part of him in that process.

Loki can't talk to Thor right now, he needs to sort his mind and put some distance between them. So when Thor enters the library the second time today Loki does the only thing that seems right to him and covers himself in an illusion so his brother will not see him and leave again. Thor hates books, he won't stay on his own will.

With his book in his hands he waits silent as a shadow until Thor gives up and moves to search his other hiding places. For today, it would seem returning to his rooms is impossible. He will linger in front of his rooms, listening for the slightest sound. Thor seems bend on talking to him as soon as possible and Loki knows exactly that he doesn't want that. Two talks a day is already far too much. He needn't add a third confrontation. This time Loki would probably not hold his temper in check and yell at Thor for being as foolish as he is, for plainly stating what he wants, for being who he is. His little statement of how he wants this had shocked the trickster more than he would admit. And because he wants this so much he can't have it. It can't be, it probably is a trick, Thor is trying to take him for a fool, he has to believe it. It rips his heart apart.

He still tries to talk himself into believing that Thor wants to talk to him because he doesn't want this, because he is disgusted, because he wants to demand Loki to leave him alone or vanish from Asgard completely. And even though he would somewhere deep down be glad to hear it, he doesn't think his heart would survive. That is the reason he hides, and not because he is afraid the blond could make his longing worse by showing him that it seems possible to fulfill it, no definitely not that. Yet he knows he has to face it somewhen, this storm wouldn't just blow off. He had made sure with his words yestereve that it wouldn't. But Thor's words ghost through his mind, and he knows he has already caused a lot damage. I want this, Loki. If now he destroys their relationship, which is ultimately the only right thing to do, he will hurt him too and that hurts even more.

Loki never should have allowed such closeness. One moment of weakness had sufficed for Thor to shatter his precious carefully erected walls and to tear him out of his comfortable lonely home. He had shown him what Loki can never have. And how much he craves it. And Loki curses him for it. Why did he have to tempt him so much? Loki had always been happy on his own in the shadows but now his solitude feels lonely for the first time. It feels like a self-inflicted penance and he doesn't want to think about if it truly is. His eyes brim with tears and he buries his face in his hands to keep them from the worlds. Why does it has to be so messed up? He loves Thor and loathes him for making him do so. He feels desire and is repulsed by it.

The only certain emotion he has in him is fury. He feels weak and oddly used. He should have stopped himself from admitting something that can never be. Thor had made him lay his heart bare, had used his weak moment for his own advantage. In Asgard he will never be allowed to love Thor the way he does, if not for his own good, then for Thor's. He is the crown-prince, he has to think of his realm. Thor would become king, and Loki, well, maybe his counselor, a person to send on diplomatic missions, to send away.

Loki tries to clear his head. Dark thoughts are no help now, he needs to think clearly about his next steps, but he is too accustomed to them. They have always been there in the back of his mind since his earliest childhood. With age he finds it increasingly hard to ignore them. Especially when everyone seems to think the same about him. They all see in him a not worthy prince, not even a worthy man and compared to Thor he would always be second. He lies and he deceits and he causes mischief whenever possible, at least that's what the people say about him, often not even caring to do it behind his back. Strangely that doesn't bother him the way it used to, something like resignation had taken that place. But somewhere in the back of his mind another new word surfaces. Monster. Because only a monster could be selfish enough to love Thor the way he does. Because only a monster could wish for him to feel the same. Only a monster could be cruel enough to let him. No one had ever used that word to describe him but they all think it. And because he is a monster he would never be worthy of Thor's love. He is worse than all of the beasts crawling on Jotunheim.

He drops the illusion and straightens his back. Thor would be king and Loki would not ruin it for him. If that includes staying away from him, Loki would have to get through it. The thought that yesterday had felt so used, so normal he barely had noticed he had it, leaves now an open wound in his heart. Thor knows now, the trickster thinks bitterly, that is the difference. Somehow mouthing the words hadn't helped the ache but made it a hundred times worse. He had always known this is just a stupid dream, he can not have Thor. Never. But for one glorious moment when Thor's lips had touched his it had seemed possible, just for the blink of an eye. That Thor loves him the same, that they could make this work, that he could be happy. Then the bright light of the morning had cast shadows of doubt and Loki had fallen back upon old patterns and had run, fled, out of the warm arms.

He tries to decide whether to completely ignore what happened last night or if he should make see Thor reason. Maybe he'll think it was a strange dream if Loki does not acknowledge that it happened. Unfortunately Thor is thick-headed but Loki can't bring himself to talk about this. If he says it again in the light of the day, with all his senses in his body, he would never be able to take it back. How is he supposed to look at Thor if he ever again hears the words 'I love you' being formed by those lips? And how if he doesn't? Maybe after all it wouldn't be too bad to be send away to other realms.

You're the trickster, the Liesmith, you could be with him and no one would ever have to know. Since when do you care about being good or doing the right thing? Diminish the bright golden light of Asgard's prince and show them how twisted and wicked his mind truly is, how corrupted his heart. Take what you want and face the penance together with him, show them your power and no one would ever attempt to separate you again. The thoughts snake into his head and he is disgusted by himself. It doesn't matter how much he wishes for this, logic tells him he can't have it if he truly loves Thor. He can not be so selfish as to throw both of them into the abyss. He will not risk punishment for Thor. If it would be anyone else he wouldn't think twice about fulfilling his desires but love always prevents things from being easy and pleasant. He has made his decision long ago. He would always love him and just how Thor had protected him all these years, Loki would now protect him, even from himself and his feelings. Thor is pure and that deserves to be preserved. If they would continue it would destroy not only him but Thor as well.

Loki can't let this happen. He will pretend nothing ever happened and continue to avoid Thor. If he slowly draws back Thor won't notice him vanish out of his life and heart before he is already long gone. It would break the trickster but for his brilliant sun he would do it again and again.

xXxXx

Unfortunately the next few days follow the same pattern. Loki evades him whenever he is alone but would join Thor and their friends for the meals and occasionally accept an invitation in case they both would not be able to spend a single minute alone. If Thor wouldn't know better he would truly believe that evening had never happened. Loki has gone back to his usual behavior of being slightly arrogant and mostly on his own, but nothing shows that he may hold a grudge or be happy about something, he isn't even defensive anymore. If anything Loki is a little more polite to Thor and always serves him perfectly rehearsed excuses why they can't talk alone. Of course, Loki had started to not use his name too often but to address him with 'brother' whenever he can, if to remind Thor or himself, Thor doesn't know.

Almost a week later the crown-prince finally has enough of this hide and seek game his brother is playing, does he really think he would let this go so easily? Low thunder grumbles in the distance as Thor makes his way to Loki's chambers, the first time the second prince returned to them since that night. Thor had waited long enough in front of the empty rooms to know for sure. This time he is determined and he would not accept any excuses from Loki until he has said all he has on his mind. Loki has no chance to evade him this time.

It had become increasingly difficult not to simply reach out to his brother to touch him when he is sure they both want that. To touch the thin lips again had become an obsession for Thor but he had found no means to give in to this craving, not with everyone else around.

He knocks hard on the door but doesn't wait for an acknowledgment before opening it and walking into the parlor he hadn't entered for an eternity, there had never been a reason, Loki likes his private space and whenever there is need to talk they do that in Thor's chambers. And one thing is sure for Thor, Loki hated it when someone entered his rooms in their youth, especially without permission or being asked to enter. And the glare his brother spares him right now is indication enough that that hasn't changed a bit. One thing at least that hasn't.

'Thor.', he sounds more than displeased. 'What do you want here?'

'I want to talk.', Thor simply states.

'And what about?'

'About something that's been on my mind the whole week.'

'Oh, well then. Let us hear what the Mighty Thor has on his mind.', Loki's voice is dripping with sarcasm as he sits down on an armchair, apparently comfortable but Thor can see how his muscles tense.

'Loki, why do you have to make this so hard?' Thor sighs. Why is Loki so aggressive again? And why do his eyes dart every few seconds to the door?

'Just spit it out, brother. Why are you here?'

This isn't going to get any better any time soon. Thor might as well get it out now. 'I wish to talk about what happened the other night in my bedchambers.'

A small, not really sincere looking smile appears on Loki's lips. 'And what exactly do you believe happened?'

As Thor takes a step towards Loki he jumps up and crosses the room, a scowl on his face. Thor stops immediately, in this pacing-state it makes no sense to approach the younger man.

'We kissed.'

'Did we now?', Loki asks mockingly. Does his brother really think he wouldn't see how rigid his steps are? Does he believe Thor would not hear the higher pitch in his voice of silk?

'Yes, we did. And it was amazing.' Loki stills his steps, back turned on Thor. 'Why won't you face me?'

The trickster doesn't answer but continues his strides through the room after realizing he had stopped. Thor watches him in silence. But his impatience betrays him. 'What is wrong?'

A scrutinizing stare bores right through him. 'Nothing, why would anything be wrong?'

'Did you not want to kiss me?'

'It matters not.' Loki doesn't look at him again and continues his restless pacing. His features darken. 'Maybe it is time you go.'

'Loki.'

He doesn't spare him a glance or any sign he had heard and looks anywhere but him. Thor hasn't come here to cope with Loki's moods. He would have his say, if Loki wants that or not. So he blocks the way of the ravenette and grabs his upper arms as he tries to evade Thor.

'Let go of me.' Loki struggles against the tight grasp but still refuses to look at him. Thor can feel the anger burning in his little brother. 'Let go!', he almost yells.

'Loki.' He tries to stay calm. This is too important, he might just get this one shot.

Finally green eyes stare openly hostile into blue ones. 'Thor.', he practically snarls. 'Let go of me.'

'Just listen, please. For once.' Thor can see the outrage building up and quickly continues. 'I want this, I want you. I love you.'

Something like desperation shines in those beautiful green eyes that never fail to amaze him. Then it is abruptly replaced by a sneer. 'Then you are a greater fool than I would have thought.' But the comment is without much meaning to Thor, it contains no real venom. Loki apparently still seeks a way out of his arms. He doesn't believe me, crosses Thor's mind.

'Loki, I mean it. I don't care about conventions. Not if they mean I have to stay away from you again.' Thor's thumb caresses Loki's bottom lip as he forces the slightly smaller man to look up at him again. He looks so vulnerable and perfect Thor bows his head a bit and presses his lips on his. The trickster freezes completely but when Thor's lips move on his, he can feel Loki's resistance crumble until those lovely lips kiss him back soft and hesitant. It is more intimate then their first attempts, less heated. Thor tries to memorize the taste and texture of Loki. The ravenette draws slightly back, but not too much. Their breaths still mingle and Thor notices delighted that Loki's breath hitches. He still holds Loki's upper arm and when he feels Loki stretch out his hand he lets him.

Thor does not expect the sharp pain on his left cheek as he had been waiting for a soft caress. He opens his eyes immediately and stares into an outraged face. Tears sparkle in Loki's eyes. Thor grabs his arms again as Loki tries to walk off.

'Leave my rooms. Now!'

He fights against Thor but he won't let his brother go like this. Shock has robbed Thor of his voice but apparently Loki had found his again.

'Let go of me and get out! I don't want you here!' He can see despair building up behind the masque of rage when Thor doesn't.

'Let us talk.', he almost whispers. He can't understand this, has Loki just played one of his games with him?

'I have no desire to talk, you already said enough.', Loki growls. Then he hisses right into Thor's face: 'Get out!'

'What happened? You said you love me as well!', Thor's voice grows louder along with his helplessness.

He can feel Loki's seidr dancing in the air a second before he is forcefully thrown against a wall by an invisible strike.

'You mean nothing to me!', Loki shrieks, his voice jumping up, rage on his features. His eyes are still glistening. 'Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I despise you!'

'Brother..'

'Why would I care about you, you oaf? And now GET OUT!', he yells.

Suddenly someone turns on a light in Thor's mind and he keeps his eyes firmly on Loki while he stands up and makes his way to the door. He is sure that one or two rips are broken by the force and tomorrow his back would certainly be a single bruise. Still he would like nothing better than to kiss those tears from Loki's eyes.

Once outside he strides confidently and quickly to his chambers and tries not to pull a face with each step. Now it all makes perfectly sense. But is it even possible? Thor would have never believed it if he wouldn't have seen it with his own eyes. Could it be true that his brother, his Loki, is afraid? But of what? He feels vulnerable, Thor realizes, he is afraid of what he is feeling and thinks pushing me back is the only way to safe himself. Telling himself that I don't want him, telling himself he doesn't care. Maybe he even thinks I would turn him down, and prefers to be the one pretending that he doesn't want me. Thor suddenly realizes something else, he had never seen Loki with anyone, this all must be so new to him and he just handed the control to Thor, put himself into his hands and is scared because he doesn't know what to do now, how to regain his power. Thor doubts not that Loki is experiencing something entirely new to him and just can't cope with it.

Well, if he is still his little brother somewhere deep down, behind all the façades, Thor knows exactly what to do.

Four hours later Thor hears the light creaks of his bedchamber door being opened carefully. He pretends to be fast asleep as not to scare the almost imperceptible footsteps away again. His face is turned to the door, away from the only window not covered. Silver moonlight brightens the room and makes Loki look deadly pale. Green eyes grace over Thor's apparently sleeping body and don't see that blue eyes are staring back, being slightly blinded by the bright light. Carefully Thor closes his eyes again as he sees the pained expression edged in the beloved features. Loki sighs quietly before crossing the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. Long fingers stroke Thor's cheek and stubble softly so he won't wake.

'I am sorry. But it is best for you. Please understand.' The sadness in the silken voice almost drowns out the words it is forming.

'That is why you pull back?' So Thor had really been right about Loki's fear. Loki gasps audible and wants to stand up as quickly as possible again but Thor gently cups the hand lying next to his on the bed-sheets. 'I knew you would come. You always used to sneak into my room at night when you wanted to apologize when we were kids.' A warm smile washes over his face. Thor sits up and leans against the head of his bed. Loki seems to be in trance and does not even try anymore to pull away. 'Come here.'

Thor taps the covers next to him and shifts to make space for the smaller man. As soon as Loki sits next, Thor puts an arm around his shoulders which Loki gradually leans into.

'Thor, we can't..', he whispers, tears swinging in his voice. He sounds so pained, Thor thinks, kissing the top of his head.

'Do you not want this?', Thor hears himself asking.

'Thor, I..' Enough of these excuses. Before Loki can even say more, Thor interrupts him, forcing him to look up.

'Loki?' He strictly looks down into those insecure eyes.

'Yes, I want this.', Loki finally admits in a murmur.

'Then we will find a way. I am not willing to give this up so easily.'

Gratitude and panic flash through green eyes. 'But it is impossible. It's too dangerous. What if anyone found out? I can't let this happen. I won't. The sooner we end this the less damage will be caused.' His voice grows more confident with every word.

'What damage, Loki?' Thor doesn't understand what his brother speaks about.

'Now we can still walk away without getting shattered. I would be your ruin, like I ruin everything good.'

'You fear to destroy me? Hey, look at me.' He cups Loki's face. 'You never ruined anything, you hear? I never want you to think that again. You are wonderful just the way you are.' He kisses him tenderly.

'But if they ever find out.. We would be cast out and separated in the best case, killed in the worst. I don't think I could live with never seeing you again if this goes any further.'

'Neither could I.' Hurt glistens in Loki's eyes before he nods resolutely and tries to go. Thor keeps him in place. 'But I also couldn't live with knowing you love me and not being able to show you that I feel the same. I don't care about punishment, Loki. I want you, all of you. I don't want to miss you ever again. I won't ever let them separate us. Do not worry about shattering me.' He looks deep into the green eyes, staring at him with forbidden hope. He wants to believe me. 'If this truly does end one time, I will not mind being shattered by you. It would be an honor.'

Tears flow freely over the pale cheeks by now.

'Nothing you can say will change my opinion, all right? I want to be with you in every possible way.'

'Are you sure?', Loki says in barely a whisper.

'Yes.' Thor smiles reassuring.

A watery smile stretches on his face. 'I love you, Thor.'

'And I love you.', he says before being kissed with a desperation he had not expected. Loki wants this as much as he does, he just forbade himself to give in. Thor must have been blind as to not see the pain in his eyes every time they spoke this past week, to not hear the self-torment. Loki had had really thought this through, how to push him away so he wouldn't hurt him any further. Could his brother not see that Thor is just as afraid for this to not work, for hurting the one he swore to protect?

After a while Loki leans back on his shoulder and hides his face in the crook of his neck.

'We'd still have to hide.', he murmurs, but with far less panic than before. Loki even sounds a little sleepy. Thor wonders briefly if he had slept at all this week.

'We'll manage. You are the one who can just appear out of thin air.' The tricksters shoulders shake from a silent chuckle. 'No one will need to see you come or go.'

'That will come quite in handy. Don't forget that I also can shape-shift.'

'Never would I dare.' Both of them laugh. 'The biggest problem will be Heimdall.'

'That I can take care of.', he sounds quite confident.

'Really? How?'

'I can divert his gaze on me, even make myself partly invisible.' Thor can almost see the smug smile gracing Loki's lips. 'I always hated it when he would know where I am and what I am doing. That is bad when planning mischief. This was one of the first spells I learned on my own.'

Thor kisses the raven hair. 'Impressive. Why did you never mention it?'

'So he won't find out. You know how keen his ears are. My powers are quite convenient, he doesn't know I am here right now. I wasn't sure what he could possibly hear. He will think I am in my rooms and you are here alone.'

'You can disguise me as well?'

Loki thinks about this for a moment. 'I think I could, if ever truly you would need a cover. But for now, I am just blocking his view and sight from here, he just can feel you are here and no one else. And there are high chances he is watching other things in the nine realms than a sleeping prince.'

Thor laughs lightly. 'True. And from the others we will hide as well.'

'That shouldn't be too difficult, as long as you aren't as obvious as this last few days. Or try to kiss me in public again.' Again he can hear the smirk.

'Well, you were always better at deceit. But I shall try.'

He chuckles. 'Good, nice. Thanks for not wanting to reveal this to everyone.'

'For you, anytime.'

Thor rests his cheek on Loki's head and they fall silent. Slowly he can feel himself drifting of to sleep and Loki begins to slump against him as well. Thor shifts them down into a lying position and continues to stroke Loki's hair.

'Loki?'

'Hmm?', comes the sleepy reply.

'Can you do me a favor?'

The dark haired man sits up a little and looks at Thor. 'And what would that be?'

Thor almost laughs out loud. Behind all his vulnerability he is still his Loki, proud and all the time suspicious.

'Don't leave again. When I wake up I want to still hold you in my arms.'

His eyes narrow for a split second before something like humor brightens them in the moonlight. 'Maybe if you wouldn't sleep so long I would not leave before you awake.'

'Please, stay.'

He rolls his eyes dramatically but smiles. 'Fine. For you, I will stay.'

'Thank you. You can always stay, you know.', Thor adds as Loki settles down in his arms again. It feels oddly comforting to hold his cool body so close and to know he will wake up with him.

'Talking about obvious.'

Thor just presses his lips on Loki's hair again, breathing in his scent.

'Good night, love.'

Loki hums indefinable and soon his breathing becomes deeper. In no time Thor falls asleep, a smile tucked on his face. With Loki in his arms, he would face everything, even punishment. He would not let anything ever separate them again. He would be worthy of Loki's trust and love.

xXxXxXx

 **What do you think? It was a little angsty but I hope it wasn't too bad. But we all have enough drama in our lives, I guess ^^ And if you have any suggestions or remarks or corrections or anything else, feel free to tell me.**

 **Please leave a review, maybe?**


	5. Chapter 5 My Clarity

My Clarity _  
_ _  
_ _For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.  
William Shakespeare_

Loki's steps carry him through the golden hallways and down the long staircases of the palace, past the kitchens and out into the grounds. Thor would be quite tired when he returns from the All-father, Loki might as well do something tiring as well and let him not be the only one needing some rest tonight. Talking always demands so much more of Thor than it should, no surprise that Father mostly sends Loki to do the important negotiations when he himself can't go.

Confidently Loki strides into the stables, scaring some stable-hands with his sudden appearance. The smell of horse and hay is a soothing one, a welcome distraction. On the end of the stables the royal horses are kept, the best and finest horses of Asgard, perhaps even beyond. The young prince stops at the box with his black steed and opens the door to approach the calm horse. He had been a gift by the Light-Elves so Loki had decided to name him in their language as a reminder of that. The stallion is one of the fastest of this realm, faster than most rivers, Loki is proud that he had chosen such a fitting name.

'Hello, Sirdal.', he says quietly as the horse turns to him.

He strokes him gently. Sirdal nudges Loki with his nose, apparently impatient waiting for him to start saddling him. A apologetic smile shows on his face.

'Sorry, old friend. I'm just here on a quick visit.' Loki pulls an apple out of his pocket and gives it to Sirdal.

The horse neighs offended but takes the treat nonetheless. Loki looks into the black eyes and caresses the still moving jaws.  
'I'll tell the stable-hands to get you out onto the pasture later, so you can stretch your legs.' Sirdal nudges Loki again which makes him laugh. 'Fine, here, take another one. We will go for a long ride next week, how does that sound?' The chomping of large teeth is the only answer he gets.

'See you.' Loki pats his neck a last time before leaving his box. He should really take more time for his horse or Sirdal won't get to do any running anymore. The pastures are far too small for the animals to truly stretch their legs sufficiently. He tries to take him once a week out for a ride in the forest or around the castle but more and more often Loki can't find the time, and sometimes the will, to do so. Sighing deeply he makes his way deeper into the stables, approaching the very last box, the largest of the whole stable.

'Hello, little one.', he says with a fond smile. The gray steed already stands in the door, neighing as a welcome. Sleipnir is easiest the tallest of the horses in this stable and perhaps the strangest one. The All-fathers stallion is not only the fastest horse of the nine realms because of his eight legs nor just extraordinarily intelligent, but he also chooses exactly who may handle him and who would just earn a kick for trying. Unfortunately for all the servants in this part of the palace, he deems none of them worthy.

Entering the box, Loki laughs softly. 'I know you're not small anymore. But you will always be my little one for me.' He hugs the huge horse around the neck. 'My little Sleipnir.' Drawing back Loki looks strict at him. 'I heard you've been biting the stable-hands again. That is not tolerable. Don't do that again, little one. That is no appropriate behavior for a royal stallion.' He raises a finger but his smile belies his words.

Quickly he looks to the door behind him but of course no servant would come here as long as a prince is present, but especially not since Sleipnir broke the leg of one or two of them last week. Gentle long fingers trail over the lighter fur on the neck. He taps his lips to shush the steed and pulls a red sweet apple, Sleipnir's favorites, from the kitchens out of his pocket.

'I'm sorry I did not visit for so long.', Loki says patting the horse while Sleipnir eats the apple, quickly demanding another one but always listening carefully. Loki has the feeling all horses listen when he talks to them, and mostly even know what he speaks about, but Sleipnir seems to truly understand every word and he can answer when he wishes to. Certainly a gift by the Norns, even though most Asgardians don't understand him. They aren't as perceptive as Loki, he doubts even Odin can hear Sleipnir's words, or rather impressions. He is a better friend for the trickster than most others.

'The All-father won't need you today.' He draws another apple out. 'We could go on a tour through the forest, if you like.'  
Eight excited legs stamp on the ground and a long neigh escapes the stallion. It draws a laugh from Loki.

'Good, I'll get your saddle.'

A small neigh stops him as he almost reached the door. Loki turns around again, looking into sad eyes.

'No, little one. Just the two of us, like old times. Except now we do not need to sneak out.' He caresses his muzzle. A little pang of guilt almost lets the trickster twitch. When they both were younger he had often teleported the two of them out into the forest so Sleipnir could run free. The servants still don't take him regularly out onto the pastures with other horses, being afraid he might hurt them or himself or simply run away. For Loki that always has been ridiculous, Sleipi just needs someone who is not afraid and whom he can trust. And of course some exercise. Loki would also go mad if he had to stay in his rooms the whole day. So he had taken the liberty to ignore his father's wishes to leave his steed alone, and had ridden with him through the forests and the meadows surrounding the palace, feeling the wind in his hair. They had both enjoyed their mostly nightly activities. But recently their adventures have been limited to a minimum of once or twice a week and then Sirdal often joins them. It is just not the same and both of them feel it.

Looking into the brightening eyes of the gray horse he swears he won't ever again let their relationship decay like this. He would find time for Sleipnir, even if that means shortening his already limited time with Thor.

After currying and saddling him, Loki leads him through the stables, on the way informing the servants of his wishes for Sirdal, out onto the grassy pastures. In one swift movement he climbs Sleipnir and before he can even hold on tight, the horse had already broken into a wild gallop to the other side. Excitement rushes through them as the muscles of Sleipnir move almost effortlessly. He doesn't even have to use his seidr to open gates, Sleipnir lives up to his name and jumps over the fence without even slowing down. Loki finds himself laughing with the stallion together and in their mad speed they need almost no time until they reach the forest.

By now Loki is happy he had decided on riding with a saddle today. Mostly he doesn't need one with Sleipnir, trusting him with his life, but right now the gray horse seems to be too absorbed in running faster than the wind as to care for the light weight on his back. Surely the god of mischief would have ended up on the ground long ago.

When the first trees encircle them Sleipnir slows finally down and just trots slowly, winding a path through the plants blocking their way. Every now and then Loki needs to duck to not get hit by a low hanging branch. Sleipnir turns his head a bit and nickers.

'Thor and I are fine. No change there. The All-father is talking to him right now, no idea why. Well, I'll let you know if I do.' A grin flashes across his face. 'And I think I am close with my research. The last book looked very promising.' He continues to tell his gray companion all that he has missed while Loki had been unable to visit.

'I am really sorry for not visiting so often.'

The stallion neighs softly.

'No, it is not okay.' He sighs. 'It is just, I have the feeling my time with Thor is limited.'

Sleipnir flicks his ears.

'No, no one knows except for us three. But..' Loki groans. 'I don't know, but if my time with him is limited, then I have to use it.', he begs his eight-legged friend will understand.

He tosses his head nickering.

Loki laughs softly. 'I know you won't tell anyone. That's why I tell you everything. I trust you. I just don't trust Thor to shut up.'

Sleipnir whickers.

A frown and an unbelieving smile appear on his face as he lightly nudges the darker mane. 'I don't want to hear such words again.' The horse just continues to nicker and falls into a faster pace when the ground begins to level.

' Even if it is true, which I didn't say, you can't say such things.', Loki exclaims in mock-exasperation. 'Besides, who taught you that word?'

He neighs and swishes his tail.

'I will have to have a word with him. Using such insolent words in front of someone so young.'

Sleipnir pretends wanting to buck him off.

'Still too young to use such words.', Loki sounds casual but almost really falls from the horseback.

He gallops down a slope and cuts of Loki's further discussions by jumping over a small stream. As Sleipnir returns to trot, looking for a way through the trees, Loki pats his neck.

'Nevertheless, Thor made it this long without breaking the secret.'

The gray stallion turns his ears.

'Yes, I am afraid.', Loki whispering admits. 'I at least have someone to confide in.' He caresses the mane, then clears his throat. 'Still, that is no excuse for not visiting more often. I miss our time together.'

A small whicker startles him.

'They are not remotely as important as you.' He leans forward and presses his face into the soft fur of his neck. 'Never think that. I have to admit, I was far to absorbed by them lately. It won't happen again.'

Sleipnir tosses his head back and neighs approvingly. The trickster's face cracks into a smile.

'I promise to come more often. My studies can wait.' As can Thor, he thinks sadly. Sleipnir had never let him down even when no one else wanted to spend time with him, he can't do that to him now.

Sleipnir stops walking and waits for Loki to dismount him. They have reached a clearing almost as big as a smaller pasture of the royal stables which is hidden deeply in the forest. No one ever comes to their sacred place, it is too remote and far off the normal routes through the forest. It had always been their little Valhalla in the realm eternal, far away from prying eyes and strange questions. A place where they always could be who they wanted to be. Where there was no prince and no eight-legged horse but just Loki and Sleipnir spending time with each other. They both still don't feel accepted by their surroundings. Loki doesn't live up to the expectations of his family, everyone thinks him strange. Sleipnir is always the subjects of side-glances and mutters, especially from his own kind. They are different and everyone feels uncomfortable around them, but if they are better or worse than the others, just the future will show. But they could care less, they always had each other to accept them and encourage them to show the others that being different is not a bad thing.

After landing gracefully on the ground, Loki finds big hopeful eyes staring at him.

'I mean it.' He strokes his cheek. 'I would never lie to you. In fact,', he adds, realizing something. 'You are the only one I have never lied to. And the only one I tell everything. Not even Thor knows what I am working on.'

Sleipnir nudges him affectionate. Loki pats his cheeks and presses their foreheads together. He really doesn't know how he could deserve such a perfect creature.

'I love you too, little one.'

He opens his eyes again and smiles loving at the big stallion, caressing his muzzle one last time before turning towards the clearing, looking for a nice place to sit down. Sleipnir's nudge against his back makes the trickster stumble forward. He chuckles slightly.

'Yes, I have it with me, no worries.'

The horse seems very happy about that and dashes forward into the long shadow of a tree at the edge of the clearing, letting itself sink to the ground and waits for Loki patiently to cross the distance. Grinning he shakes his head and joins Sleipnir. Out of his pockets, he had enhanced with magic, he pulls another apple for both of them. By now his stomach grumbles loudly again. Sleipnir swishes his ear.

'I haven't eaten anything yet.', he defends himself. Loki still holds the apple out for him. 'Do you not want it? I have plenty more of them.'

After a lengthy lunch Loki draws a book out of thin air, something he knows Sleipnir likes. It is an old children tales book his mother had read for him when he was small. The stallion gives him a push to start reading. Even though Loki feels a little sleepy he opens the book obediently.

'Right, where were we?' Loki flickers through the pages until he finds the right one. Sleipnir looks with big expecting eyes at him as he clears his throat. Not even five minutes reading out loud later Sleipnir lies down and nuzzles his head on Loki's lap. He absentmindedly strokes his fur. The trickster could almost believe the giant horse had fallen asleep but his ears are turned attentively in Loki's direction and he shifts his weight every now and then. A smile creeps on his face without him being able to stop it. The little blessing of his life nudges him to continue reading as he had stopped to stare at the wonder sprawled on the grass.

'Sorry, little one.' He returns his attention to the tale but Sleipnir sits up a little and looks at him.

'We have the whole afternoon, Sleipi.', he smiles. 'No need to haste.'

He tilts his head to the right, looking so adorable Loki truly is inclined to cancel his evening plans.

'I am sorry, I promised Thor to spend the evening with him.' He feels it is a terrible excuse and can see sadness lingering in Sleipnir's gaze. 'But we could meet tomorrow evening for a night time ride.' Like all the times before they had been allowed to spend time together.

Sleipnir tilts his head even more. Loki is more and more happy Thor had been called by the All-father or he wouldn't have realized how much his selfish behavior is really hurting the stallion.

'No, I won't ask Thor to join us. I don't want him to. Just the two of us.', he says with more confidence than he feels.

He guiltily flicks his ears.

'No, just us two.' I neglected you long enough. 'I love Thor but tomorrow is our evening.' He hesitates just a split second. 'And when I figured how trans-realm travel works, I will take you on the first trip, all right? Then I can show you everything and we can cause some mischief elsewhere.' He winks.

He cocks his ears and seems genuinely surprised and pleased.

'Yes, I promise, you'll be the first. Well, after making sure it is safe enough.'

Sleipnir rolls his eyes which makes Loki laugh.

'I don't want you to get hurt.' He caresses his muzzle. Sleipnir gently pushes against his hand. It is Loki's turn to roll his eyes. 'Fine, but this is the last one. Or you will again be too excited and bite the stable-hands.' He hands him another red apple which Sleipnir quickly chews. The horse stares with big eyes at Loki.

'Not yet, but we should go soon. They might already wonder where we are.'

The dark eyes grow bigger if possible.

'Of course we can take a detour.', he laughs.

xXxXx

Feeling completely drained Thor leaves the study of the All-father hours later. The low grumble of his stomach had become more pronounced by the minute with no breakfast and having missed lunch as well. It is late afternoon and Thor decides that it is too late to start anything today as he would meet Loki shortly after dinner. And even though his stomach protests he doesn't go to the kitchens or the dining hall yet but to his chambers. He feels tired and somehow more dirty than if he would have spend the day on the training grounds. A nice long bath would be exactly what he needs right now. And further, Loki will appreciate the effort. Often enough his brother complains about Thor not putting his best foot forward. It is certainly not Thor's fault when Loki stretches out on the bed seductively so that he has no chance to take a bath before joining him, it would definitely be tremendously rude of him to let Loki wait even longer just to do something that irrelevant.

His head is still swimming from the talk with his father when he opens the faucet to draw a warm bath. He would have to talk to Loki about this to get a free head again. Briefly Thor wonders why Loki had not been invited today but chooses to better not discuss this matter with him, too often him being the crown-prince had let to a fight between them and that is something Thor does not want today. Remembering the hurt green eyes when being unable to spend the day with him he swears to not even bring today's talk up at all if Loki wouldn't. They already have such a limited time alone, there would be time to tell him, but not this evening. Thor slips into the bathtub after adding some rosewood-essence to the water, Loki's favorite scent on him. He sighs deeply. The water already relaxes him and his thoughts. What would he give for Loki being here right now. For his soft lips on him. For the occasional bites his skin has to endure. And now Thor wishes Loki really would be here. Knowing that Loki probably will have spend the day inside and would be quite rested when it is time to meet, Thor denies himself sighing the satisfaction and climbs out of the bath before getting a chance to change his mind. After dragging a comb through his hair he leaves his chambers.

With still wet hair-tips Thor runs almost into his friends on the way down to the dining hall.

'Good day to you, my friends.', an involuntary grin spreads on his face.

'Where have you been? We've been looking for you all over the palace.', Volstagg exclaims.

'I am sorry for your trouble, my father had summoned me this morning.'

'Yes, we know.', Fandral interrupts. 'But we have seen the All-father quite a while back and wondered where you still were.' They all seem genuine worried.

'I wouldn't have been a good company. I needed some time to sort out my thoughts.', Thor says truthfully.

'And now? Would you like to be alone?', Fandral inquires. Thor realizes his friends will always understand him much better when it comes to the wearisomeness of political affairs than his brother ever could.

'No, some company would be most welcome.' He smiles warmly.

'Good.' A grin cracks on the blonds face. 'We were planning to go to The Prancing Peacock this evening, celebrating a bit.' He winks.

'I am sorry, friend, but I already have other plans for tonight.'

'I can smell that.' Thor might have taken a little too much of the oil. 'So, who are you meeting?' He puts an arm around Thor's shoulders as they walk down the hallway.

Thor just grins.

'It is her again, isn't it?', Fandral grins. Thor of course can't tell his friends who exactly he is meeting and thanks to Loki's mischievous behavior they think he is meeting a woman in secret. Why he would do that, they can only guess.

Fandral looks back a bit as he and Thor had taken the lead. 'Is it Sif? She also doesn't want to join us but looks like she's going out.', he whispers in Thor's direction, silent enough for her to hopefully not hear them.

Thor snorts. 'Sif?'

'Yes.' He leans closer. 'She is quite a catch.', he adds cheekily.

'That might be. But Sif? No.', he chuckles. Sometimes the blond has the most ridiculous ideas.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Apparently Sif had heard them and she doesn't look happy at all. Angry she furrows her brow.

'Nothing, Sif.', Thor frowns slightly.

'You think I am not good enough for you?', she inquires.

'No, it is not that. Why are you so angry?', Thor asks back. The behavior of her confuses him greatly.

'I am not angry.', she pouts. 'I wish to know what that should mean. Would I be not good enough?'

'No. You're one of my best friends. I just can't think about you this way. And furthermore, do you want me to?'

Sif scoffs. 'No, I do not want you to think of me anything!'

Thor wants to calm her because she is still talking a little to loud for a civil conversation. 'Sif, then this is ridiculous. This is an entirely theoretical matter. Not worth of discussing.' He tries to brighten her mood with a smile, showing her that it just had been a joke.

'Stop laughing! What did you mean?'

'We are friends since we were little. You are like a sister to me. I love you brotherly and I just could never think of you as something else.' She frowns at the statement.

'Then why can't we meet your girlfriend?'

'Because you can't. I explained this matter more than enough times to you.' Thor's patience runs thin.

'No, Thor. You never explain, you just don't trust us. Be honest enough to admit that or are you turning into your brother?'

'Keep Loki out of this!', he growls. 'What is the matter with you anyway?'

'There is no matter with me.' She glares daggers at him.

'Then why are you yelling at me? Why are you acting like an insolent mistreated child?'

'Friends, calm down.', Hogun intercepts as Sif is about to make this a physical matter. She turns her glare briefly at him before returning it to Thor.

'Fine.', she snaps, taking the hand of the sword-hilt and storms of in the opposite direction of where they have been heading. Thor stomps towards their aim and reaches the hall with his friends on his heels. He can't spot Loki and evading the warrior three now would be highly unwise. Maybe that remark about Loki been a coincident. He isn't sure if Sif starts to suspect Loki and him. and Thor can't risk the others to think that as well.

He scowls but says nothing when the three men take a seat on the same edge of the table. Hot rage is still bubbling in his stomach but that doesn't keep him from eating now he finally has the chance to. If he is not entirely mistaken this would be the last chance he gets today. Loki never wastes their time with such trivial things as eating when they haven't talked explicitly about it before and he would be most displeased should Thor one time mention how hungry he is. So he forces down some of the food covering the table without really taking in what he is eating.

Fandral eyes him worriedly. 'Do you want to talk?', he inquires carefully.

Thor spares him a glare his brother would have been proud of. 'Not really.', he replies, his mouth full.

His friends wait in abashed silence for him to say something, to rage, to demand an explanation. Thor is struggling to keep his mouth shut and not discuss this matter with them, but he feels his resistance waning.

'This is not my fault, she was completely overreacting.', he grumbles finally.

They choose not to answer which is probably wise. Thor feels like he could punch something. Or someone for that matter and he doesn't want to take it out on Loki later.

'Do you not trust us anymore?'

Thor furrows his brow. 'No, Hogun, of course I trust you. It's just.. complicated. Believe me, I want to share this with you, but it is not possible. This is no matter of trust. It would be dangerous for you to know as well, not just for us.', Thor admits. Finally he looks directly at them again. 'I am sorry, friends, but in this matter you need to trust me. I have my reasons so I won't endanger you as well.'

They nod solemnly.

'Then I am sorry.', Fandral says. 'It must be hard to keep it secret.'

Thor shrugs indefinable. 'I will not say another word about this matter, the less you know the better it is. I just would like to know why Sif raged so much earlier?' He calmed down by now, focusing on Loki and his composure, he often envied. The warrior three cast awkward glances among themselves but Thor ignores them, having returned his attention to his food. The three men sitting opposite to him are really the best friends he could wish for and he curses himself for not telling them this much about his relationship before. If someone understands, it is them, he should have realized.

For the first years they hadn't noticed he had someone, when they started it had been easy to disguise it as several women. Just lately they are on the track of Thor's 'steady girlfriend' and it had become harder to lie to them. He still feels guilty from time to time for not trusting them enough to hold their tongues. They, for their part, suspect Thor meets an outlandish princess and so mostly understand and don't question the secretiveness. If they just would know how very close that guess is. But they would be punished as well should Loki and Thor's cover ever blow. It is better for all that they don't know.

They finish their meal in a pleasant talk and Thor takes his leave as soon as he can, going back to his chambers to wait for Loki to arrive. It astonishes him that the trickster isn't already there like usual but assumes he is still a little hurt because of the morning. With his pride hurt, Loki would withdraw himself from everything every so often and unfortunately he could hold a grudge for a long time.

xXxXx

It is almost past dinner when Loki goes to the kitchens to collect his previously ordered food. He had hoped he would find the time to bring Sleipnir back to the stables, take a bath and get something to eat at dinner but as usual his planning is paying off. It is too late now to go to the dining hall without drawing attention on himself and Thor would probably either be there or already waiting for him. In both cases the big blond would be hungry as he is far too often when meeting Loki. For once they both would be, so the god of mischief had made sure they had enough sustenance to talk about today and still have some energy for some more enjoyable interactions. The ride through the forest hadn't powered the trickster out but he could use a good meal and after that a long sleep. His lavender bath had done a great deal to lift his spirits and woken him enough to listen to everything their father could have talked to Thor about and to be helpful, or at least to be able to try. His muscles are still rather sore from their morning activities, the ride not having improved matters, the bath had helped only a little. But the bittersweet pain just makes him longing more for his love.

With a small basket full of everything, from wine to desert, he quickly goes back to his room just to teleport to Thor's chambers immediately. The blond is sitting in an armchair, facing the door as if his will alone could open it, he doesn't even notice he isn't alone anymore. Loki knocks on one wall to announce his presence without startling Thor.

'Good evening, Thor.'

His head snaps around and a smile cracks on his face as he sees Loki. With one swift movement he is on his feet and has crossed the short distance between them.

'I thought you wouldn't come anymore.', he says, crushing Loki flush to his chest. Slightly taken aback by his brothers rash actions Loki struggles first a bit to regain his freedom before returning the hug with a little scowl plastered on his face which turns quickly into a smile.

'Have I ever not come?', he asks disbelievingly. The embrace just tightens. Loki buries his face in his nape, breathing in the scent of rosewood. The arm slung around his waist pulls him ever closer, he can feel Thor's breath on his neck. It has been long since his brother had clung like that to him. It is almost desperate. Did he really believe Loki would not come after promising he would?

'Is something wrong?', Loki asks warily.

Thor does not answer but captures his lips for a long kiss. He keeps their foreheads together after that, screwing his eyes shut. 'I just love you.', he whispers softly. Slowly he opens his blue eyes and looks at Loki with such warmth the trickster's breath hitches slightly.

He kisses Thor gently, trying to convey everything he cannot say. Thor's tongue silently begs entrance which Loki all too willingly grants. Laughing he breaks the kiss. This is more the god of thunder he knows.

'Would you mind if we don't spend the whole evening here?'

Thor caresses his cheek. 'No, where would you like to go?'

'To the beach, maybe?', Loki suggests, chewing on his bottom lip.

'Will there not be any people still?', the blond worries.

'I checked earlier, no one will be there. We could watch the sunset, and maybe go for a quick swim afterwards. I even brought some dinner.' He points at the basket he had placed in a corner.

His love smiles fondly at him. 'Sounds wonderful.' He holds on tightly to Loki and nods with his eyes closed. The ravenette summons the basket and a blanket from Thor's bed before teleporting them to a secluded section of the beach they had found when they were kids. It had always been their place even though every now and then others would stray there. It is shielded from all three sides by big rocks which are difficult to climb even during the bright day, it becomes near impossible once the sun isn't shining directly on the slippery rocks anymore. Coming to this beach by boat is far too dangerous, everyone knows how trickery the currents here are. No one sails near enough to make out the two of them even in the best of times. So who hadn't made the way till the late afternoon would never find the way here. That's how Loki knows exactly it is safe to land there without disguise. The water splashes on the sand in a soothing rhythm. They settle as usual above the waterline on the grassy slope under the only small tree in this part of their homeworld.

Loki sits down on the blanket next to Thor, starting to unpack several things from his sustenance and offers smiling Thor some of his favorite fruits from Alfheim. The blond looks guiltily at him.

'I am sorry, I already had dinner. I thought you had already eaten.'

A wide smile appears on Loki's face. 'The one time I think you haven't eaten, the one time I give in to your usual behavior, is the one time you choose to do the same.' He kisses him tender. Thor draws him to his chest and lets himself slowly sink on the ground, pulling Loki half on top of him. 'I love you, Thor.', he whispers against his lips before brushing them one last time and sitting up again, still smiling.

Thor smiles back, slowly getting up again, then says: 'You can eat, if you want to. I'll stick to the wine.'

Loki rolls his eyes. 'I don't want you drunk tonight. But,', he leans closer, 'It is nice to see that you for once will not complain half the evening about me not eating enough.'

'I would never do that.' Thor's lips meet Loki's before Thor leans on the tree to sit more comfortable and after getting some fruits for himself Loki cuddles into Thor's arms, enjoying the sensation and their spectacular view. The sun is about to sink behind the borders of their realm and the few clouds clinging on to the sky turn purple and pink and orange. In comfortable silence Loki eats while Thor nicks every now and then something from his plate just to feed the trickster with it, knowing Loki would steal a kiss every time. He could spend the whole day kissing Thor but usually Thor would eventually want more, usually getting edged on by Loki who himself wants more. The perfect soft lips are just made to worship them as often as possible.

Loki turns his glance back to the sunset before him while cuddling still deeper into Thor's arms. He loves the play of the colors, never looking the same as yesterday, and Thor knows that. In summer they often sneak down till the sky is filled with stars just to start watching them.

'Do you want to talk about it?', the ravenette asks, setting his plate down.

'About what?', Thor inquires.

Loki chuckles. 'About what is on your mind.' He turns half around, looking into big blue eyes threatening to overwhelm him.

A small smile graces the beloved features. 'How do you know? Can you read minds by now?'

'Don't need to. We are here for more than half an hour and you have not started two serious attempts to seduce me.' Loki brings his face closer to his. 'Either I have lost my charm, or you are preoccupied.' He stretches a little more until their lips touch. 'You can tell me.', he murmurs.

Thor traces his cheekbone. Loki returns to his original pose and rests his head on Thor's shoulder still looking at him, waiting for him too begin.

'I had a fight with Sif.', he finally says.

'What about?'

'I do not really know. I told her that she is my best friend but not more.' Thor recounts the fight from earlier.

Loki sighs. 'You should have expected her to lash out like this.'

'Yes, I just thought she would finally get over it. I mean, it shouldn't still surprise her that I don't court her.'

'Hel hath no fury like a woman scorned. She will need a while to get over that.'

'Don't pretend you are not deliriously happy about this.'

Loki grins without remorse. 'Maybe she will stop following you like a shadow now.'

'Right.' He ruffles Loki's hair. 'I already have you for that.'

He just sticks out his tongue. 'Just don't be too hard on her.'

'I understand that she loves me, but she's got to accept that it will never happen.'

'You tell her that, and she will kill you instantly.'

They laugh shortly.

'I thought if I ignore her feelings she would get the hint.'

Loki snickers. 'Thor, after that statement of yours she would have to be really blind and deaf and completely stupid as to not have gotten the hint.'

'You do not really care about her feelings, do you?' Thor raises an eyebrow.

'Do I get extra points with you if I do?'

'No.'

'Then not. She is always uncivil towards me, why should I care?'

'She is still a good friend for me.'

'Yes, because she worships you.', Loki points out.

The blond sighs heavy. 'Well, maybe she will stop now and turn her attention to someone who isn't already taken by the most perfect person in the nine realms.'

Loki can feel a blush creeping across his face. 'I hope you don't mean me.'

Thor leans close and brushes his lips over Loki's. 'Who else could I mean?'

'Thor, I..'

His protests are silenced by Thor's mouth. 'Stop complaining. Learn to simply accept a compliment.', he grins widely. The trickster is about to argue but simply presses his lips on his again.

After some minutes they returns their attention to the last beams of the sun vanishing behind the golden water. Slowly night starts to creep in but the two moons have already taken their place in the sky, enlightening the small beach enough to see perfectly. The first stars appear in the night sky.

Loki kisses Thor's neck but still feels reluctance.

'What did Father say?' Something must be on his mind after all.

'He said a lot and nothing.'

Loki allows himself a short laugh which Thor joins in.

'Anything special?' He doesn't want to press the theme but Thor apparently needs to talk about it.

'He talked a lot about Muspelheim.'

'The realm of fire?', Loki seeks confirmation. There had been no talk about Muspelheim for half an eternity now.

'Yes. There are rumors that Surtur threatens Asgard with war, saying our peace treaties are worthless. Father thinks about sending an envoy there to negotiate anew.'

'That would be highly unwise. The fire giants aren't known to be gentle to envoys.'

'That's why Father wants to go himself.'

Loki frowns. 'Is that truly necessary?'

'Not yet. Surtur just made his position clear. There is no immediacy of this matter.', Thor tries to calm Loki.

'Then why talk about it?'

'I think he wants to prepare me for taking the throne somewhen.', he states carefully. Why just does he always think Loki would lash out against him each time this matter comes up?

'Sure, but there must be something else. Otherwise he would send you there, or just ask for your opinion and not talk to you the whole day.'

'He won't send me, both of us know that. This is too important as that I would be allowed to handle it. He will probably send you instead if you agree. This needs silver, no lead.'

'Hey, don't say that.' Loki turns fully to Thor, bringing their faces close together. 'Don't sell yourself short. You would be able to handle it great. You would just need a little practice.' And a little more patience.

A loving smile spreads on Thor's face. 'That is nice of you to say, but I will never have your eloquence. I will need your help with things like that for ever.'

Loki kisses him shortly. 'Then you shall always have it. I will always be at your side.'

Thor nods seriously before pulling Loki closer, kissing him fierce. He moves fast, straddling the blond's hips and presses himself against Thor.

'Is there something else you want to talk about?', Loki asks when he breaks the heated kiss. Thor just chuckles deeply.

'Enough talk of me. What have you done the day?'

'I went on a ride with Sleipnir.', he confesses.

'You two troublemakers.', Thor exclaims.

'We are no troublemakers!', Loki defends themselves laughing.

'You are just causing mischief together.'

'So what?', Loki stops denying. 'We are just having fun.'

'I can imagine that. What have you been up to all day?'

'Nothing special, we talked and had some fun in the forest.' He can never go too much into detail, Thor would probably misinterpret their relationship.

'You are really the perfect couple. I am glad for you.' Thor smiles widely. 'Do you have plans for tomorrow?'

'In the evening I was planning to ride out.'

'And you don't want me to join?', Thor assumes.

'I promised.', Loki says, knowing the invalidity of this statement for Thor. 'And it is more fun.' His eyes glint mischievously.

'Are you not having fun with me as well?', Thor inquires teasing, running his hands up and down Loki's lean body. A shiver of pleasure runs down his spine.

'That is not the same.', he states plainly.

'I guess it is not.' Thor captures his lips for a kiss again and snakes his tongue into his mouth. 'Fortunately.', he growls. Thor bites Loki's lips softly, eliciting a moan from the smaller man. He proceeds to kiss the pale skin of Loki's neck while rocking his hips infrequent. Loki doesn't even try to hold back his sighs of pleasure. 'You two are always just up for mischief. So much alike. I could almost get jealous of him.', Thor murmurs between the kisses. He bends Loki over a bit to have better access to his throat.

'Maybe you should be.', Loki states smiling, trying to shift his legs a little to get into a more comfortable position but Thor holds him with an iron grip, pressing his stomach against Loki's groins. And he is calling me a tease?, Loki thinks.

'You remind me of us when we were younger, always wreaking havoc. Just this time it is you being under someone else' thumb. Tell me, how does that feel?', Thor clearly forces the words out, drawing pauses between his kisses which make Loki just more eager.

'Thor, stop talking and take me.', Loki pants, not listening anymore. The god of thunder complies just too willingly.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello. Warning: Long author's note ahead ^^''**

 **First, thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved and alerted this story. Your support means really so much to me.**

 **I told you I'd go slow, but now I actually start to go for the main-story-arc. You might have guessed some of it, maybe not, it matters not, everything will be revealed (somewhen). This is like a gap-filling chapter, nothing too special happens (again) but it will be important for the next parts. I am laying the foundations for the most import part in this chapter, so please, bear with me :)**

 **Now, I want to point out some things here because they might be confusing or otherwise strange.**

 **First, the name of Loki's horse, Sirdal, is taken from Tolkien's Elves Elvish. I don't own that either. It means 'river foot' and is an indicator for speed. I think it is Sindarin but it could as well be Quenya, even though I doubt that. Well, and you might have noticed that tavern-name similarity, I am sorry, I love Tolkien and I am going to pretend the Light-Elves are actually his elves, so if you think you recognize something, you probably are not imagining things :) Still, this is no cross-over, so I'll stick to references.**

 **Second, Surtur is a fire giant (if I got that right), he showed up in the comics a lot (I have not read a single one), and he is often an enemy. Just google him even though I highly doubt any further knowledge will be necessary to follow this story. I just know him through Tales of Asgard. I will perhaps not go into the political details here because, simple as that, I don't care.**

 **Third, right, Sleipi :3 I love the idea of him and I don't think Loki really realizes how much under the little one's thumb he is. But even if he did, could you resist big lonely eyes begging you to spend time with them? I don't know how important he will be for the story. But just in case it is not clear, I do not go with the myth's canon (Should have noticed, given that Loki is Thor's brother and not Odin's ^^ ) but more likely with the movie-canon (even though I doubt I will be able to do that).**

 **Fourth, the title is because I was listening to a song all the time and it is so sad and fitting and everything :') I just had to use it. It is called 'Clarity' by Zedd ft Foxes, I just know an acoustic cover version. I will probably seize this on again somewhen.**

 **What do you think of this chapter? Do you want me to continue with the mainstory or, again, go back to our other storyline? I will just start to write something until you decide ;) And I have an important question for you: What do you think of Sif? Like cause she's a brave strong warrior showing the guys their place or loath cause she is kinda mean and so into Thor? And think about it, no answer is also an answer :)**

 **Either way, see you next week :3**


	6. Chapter 6 Sincerity

Sincerity

 _Delusion is short, remorse is long.  
Friedrich Schiller  
_

 _217 years prior...  
_ It took some getting used to but somehow Loki gets used to wake up encircled by Thor's arms. It is still rather infrequent that the trickster stays overnight but often his brother insists, saying he would sleep better with his new found pillow. Loki had scoffed and smiled fondly because it is mostly him sleeping on Thor's chest than the other way around. Almost one moon-cycle has passed since they agreed to try making this work. The arrival of the envoys had drawn much attention and no one had really payed much attention on the two princes spending more time with each other than usual. Loki had been against this but Thor had pointed out that they would need to at least pretend to be the perfect family to the ambassadors, so none would doubt the All-father had instructed them. The meeting their father had convoked had truly been tiring, they had to be present at almost all times and fortunately Thor's friends had forgotten his strange behavior from before, seeing that he really apparently had just been distracted and stressed by the meeting and this effect had been magnified by the fact that they barely ever saw him.

Almost all evenings they had spend either in Thor's room or in Loki's, for everyone else discussing the day but for them far more often their new relationship. Catching up after some decades, or in Loki's case centuries of drawing back, is harder than he imagined. A lot had been destroyed by both of them in the course of years but suddenly all the strange behavior of the other starts to make sense. Loki can still not bring himself to be fully open and sometimes draw back slightly. It is too emotional every now and then, opening up completely. All his precious walls he had build up in all those years are now proving to also need a lot of time to overcome and remove. He is surprised and impressed by Thor's patience with him and his forgiveness every time Loki lashes out again and returns to his old patterns. He knows he doesn't need to protect himself from Thor even though he finds it sometimes difficult to trust his big, far too honest brother. The blond would always be there for him and not betray his trust willingly. Which doesn't mean he wouldn't.

The soft red covers are getting hot and bothersome so Loki struggles a bit to at least shove them off of himself without waking the other man up. Thor had never slept over in Loki's bed because he respects the trickster's privacy. Loki can't explain it to himself but he tenses slightly whenever Thor is in his rooms, it feels all too close and too fast and is too much. So they still spend most of their time in Thor's chambers because he does not mind letting Loki in. He has never been hesitant of whom to even let in his heart, worthy or not, which worries Loki immensely.

Just when he manages to free one of his legs, his brother tightens his grip on him, humming contently without waking up. The ravenette can barely suppress the sigh that wants to escape his mouth. If he doesn't get out of here soon, he'd surely die of a heat stroke. How could his brother just be so warm? How could he possibly wrap the covers even closer around them? It is nearly autumn but still as hot as midsummer. This year had felt particular warm and all too often when being outside a nasty red color had covered his exposed skin after almost no time. The healing is not too complicated and he had perfected the spell as one of the first ever given how often in his youth he had to apply it, but it is bothersome nonetheless to need to rely on this. After the long summer Thor's skin is a brilliant bronze tone while Loki is still white as his books, as his brother pointed out not two days past. Loki can't help but admire the contrast and how perfectly they fit together, each magnifying the uniqueness of the other.

Again Thor moves, pinning the younger against his chest. Loki closes his eyes and tries to get some sleep despite the stifling heat in the room, knowing Thor would awake soon enough. Using his seidr to open a window doesn't help much, outside it is already as warm as inside but at least the slight breeze of the morning hours feels wonderful on his exposed leg. He is bored and fully awake, already missing his books. Maybe he could go to the library today after some breakfast. Never knowing what Thor is up to though he stops there planning his day. It would be a waste of time anyway, to start now. After exiting this rooms he would have enough time for that. As long as Thor's friends occupy him he'd be free. A not too small part of him hopes they have other duties today. So he lets his thoughts drift a little, wandering back to some spells he had found which he still has found no time to try out, to the duties he had promised to fulfill ages ago, almost forgotten and buried beneath the recent changes of his life.

He must have drifted off again because he startles as Thor moves a little more than he would if he is still asleep. Apparently the blond god doesn't want to be awake despite already being, he snuggles Loki like a doll and keeps his eyes closed. Seeing his chance to actually get some distance between himself and the muscly body radiating heat like a forge, the trickster squirms to let his brother know he has slept long enough.

'Stop moving, I am sleeping.', comes the prompt answer to Loki's freeing attempts. Thor's voice, ragged like that, sends shivers over Loki's body. It is still far too loud and he is sure as Hel that everyone within the distance of a few hundred paces must hear him, strangely it comforts and excites him. He would never change, not even Loki would be able to achieve that.

'No, you are not.', he replies sounding grumpy but smiling against Thor's chest.

'Shush.', Thor says chuckling, ruffling his hair.

Loki groans as Thor pulls him up so he would lie next to him rather than on top of him, feeling really rather like a pillow than a lover. Loki stares into the two blue depths almost hidden by heavy lids. The small red puff around his eyes is indicator enough for Loki that his brother will need more sleep in the future. Again they had talked until late in the night. As little sleep as Loki needs, Thor has to get more. The daily training is tiring him more than he cares to admit, and he needs the rest in the night to recover because he can not, unlike Loki, perform just some magic to rid himself of physical tiredness. Loki's magic might drain him but after a good six to eight hours sleep it has mostly replenished itself sufficiently to use it again. And if not Loki would spend the day burying his nose in his books to find new spells or otherwise improve his powers. He needn't prove his physical strength even though his father would insist on him continuing his combat practice, unfortunately without being allowed to use his advantages.

He caresses the bearded cheek and smiles.

'It is still rather early. You should get another hour or two of sleep.', Loki suggests.

'Nonsense. I am fine.', Thor lies, resting his hand on Loki's waist, drawing him closer once again. Loki rolls his eyes exaggerative but snuggles his body against Thor's nonetheless. It just feels like the most natural thing to do despite the heat. It reminds him of nights spend awake together, sometimes by choice as a sleep-over, sometimes of necessity when Loki couldn't sleep because of nightmares. Always his brother had been there for him, he is the only one Loki had shared everything with, the only one he ever had trusted apart from their mother.

Thor's lips find his and the worlds turn perfect. A wild joy overcomes the trickster each time this happens, if stolen in an empty corridor or in the dead of the night. A happiness he had never deemed possible possesses him and he can't help but throw himself with everything he has into this, into the touch, the kiss. How could he not when Thor would smile loving at him for every deliberate movement of his, for every opening up, for every sweet caress he let his hands make. Whenever they are alone these days a smile seems to be tucked onto the beloved features of the blond where before sometimes just resignation and self-doubt had had their place.

Their lips move and Loki is finally home, where he belongs and where he doesn't need to pretend. Thor's tongue softly strives over Loki's lips, begging entrance. When a strong hand moves from his waist farther down, Loki's lips part with a moan of which the blond immediately takes advantage. His strong tongue bores its way into the trickster's mouth, swishing over the silver one, over his palate, taking in every detail, exploring his whole mouth before drawing back to allow Loki to do the same. Thor is more straight forward in this than Loki but the god of mischief had always been a quick learner, in no time finding out what the blond likes the most, how to tease him and how to be tender with him. Never it comes to his mind that this could be a waste of time like he deems all usual Asgardian contact, he enjoys it far too much how these soft lips can not only silence him but also his very thoughts. His mind seems as clear and pleasantly empty as it has not been in years. Enjoying this silence he takes his time exploring the thunderer's mouth thoroughly, not caring about later, not about plans or schemes or even mischief. Just this moment counts and nothing else. How could anything possibly be remotely as important as kissing Thor? Such inner peace has become almost unknown to him, to live for a single precious moment rather than for days to come, rather than to dream of being exactly where he is right now.

He lets his hands wander over the broad chest while caressing Thor's tongue with his. The blond presses closer to him and Loki can't find himself minding. The muscly shoulders and upper arms are next on his list, his fingers trace the outline of every muscle and take in the contour of every curve of this wonderful body. A deep growl goes through Thor's chest when he returns the feather-light touches to his torso and Loki is pulled once more on top of him, lying sprawled half over the blond, half on the bed. This position must be everything except seductive, but Thor had started ravishing his mouth once more with renewed eagerness so he cannot complain. Surely he would get bruises from the tight hold his lover has on him. As the love bite markings on his neck from two days ago he would wear them hidden with pride and make sure to not heal them accidentally but to care for them. Whenever he is alone he cannot stop himself from tracing them with his fingers, relishing in the light pain still radiating from them. It is like Thor would be always near him like this, like his lips would still linger on his neck.

Thor loosens his grip a little just to proceed exploring the lean body above him as well, eliciting every now and then a moan from the ravenette whenever he strokes a sensitive spot. No one had ever made him feel this way, so captured and free at the same time. Like Thor would be the sun and Loki a world, without a will circling around him, unable to draw away. Not that he would want to. He would rather give up his seidr than to give up the oaf lying beneath him. Thor's stubble scratches his skin lightly, Loki thinks it just adds to the incredible sensation. Thor's tongue is back in Loki's mouth, stroking his tongue while he runs his hands up and down Loki's sides. The trickster blushes slightly as he moans for he feels like a maiden being held like that. Fortunately Thor is too eager to get more sounds out of the trickster to notice. Loki can really live without the embarrassment of seeming weak.

Thor's hands still move restlessly over his body, apparently wanting to claim more and Loki lets him. His far too warm hands feel like sweet Valhalla on Loki's still ice-cold skin and his caresses make him see stars. The strong hands snake further down until his fingertips are on the waistband of Loki's sleeping trousers, slowly descending. Loki abruptly breaks the kiss, darting up and trying to get out of Thor's reach. He tries to cover his panic reaction with a short laugh.

'Impatient, are we? I am sorry, but we really should get up soon, the sun is already quite high, they will miss us at breakfast.'

Thor frowns slightly but does not let go of Loki. 'Is everything alright?'

'Yes, everything is perfectly fine. Now is just not the time to start things we won't finish.'

Thor tries to smirk but ends up smiling widely. 'You're probably right. Otherwise we wouldn't make it to lunch.'

Loki rolls his eyes.

'Is that all?', Thor inquires after another attempt of Loki to break free. 'There is nothing else?'

He sighs deeply. 'This is important to me Thor. I just don't want to rush into anything we are not ready for, all right?'

Thor presses his lips tenderly on his. 'That would be unwise.'

Finally he lets Loki stand up and he carefully collect all his possessions from the room, paying attention to not accidentally leave any traces anyone could find. Loki never lets his rooms being cleaned by others, not feeling comfortable with strangers rummaging through his possessions when magic can do it faster and with more precision, but if the servants wouldn't clean the crown-prince's every now and then there would be no rooms anymore Thor could call his own. The messiness of his brother had been a stressful theme ever since their childhood and now Loki spends so much time here it hasn't gotten any better.

'Just tell me when you are ready, Loki, will you?'

Surprise widens the trickster's eyes and he turns around abruptly to face him. Loki tries to compose his features but his mouth still stands slightly open.

'What?'

'It is okay, I don't mind waiting.'

'Why do you think I am not ready?' Loki glares at his insolent brother.

'Loki.' He appreciates that the blond doesn't smile as he approaches him. 'It is certainly not me who is drawing back. But that is alright, love.' Thor slightly rubs his upper arms.

'Don't treat me like a child, Thor.', he growls back and frees himself from Thor's grip.

Hurt crosses the thunderer's features and Loki immediately feels guilty.

'If you don't want this, just tell me. I understand, I really do.' Thor takes a step back.

The trickster realizes how his behavior must look like, how his lover must feel with his constant refusal without seeing a reason.

'No, Thor, it is just..' He wants to close the distance between them but instead looks ashamed down.

'Just what?'

Loki blushes deeply. 'I have never done this.', he admits in a small voice.

'Lain with a man?' Epiphany lightens Thor's face and he comes closer again. Loki had always made a secret of his private life, especially about his partners. He knows this has led to many speculations about his preferences, especially since he never is seen with any women, so of course Thor had heard them as well.

Strong arms encircle him again, bringing their faces close together. A part of him wants to step away, to tell Thor that he is not nervous, but instead looks into the summer sky blue eyes and finds it impossible to lie to Thor. The truth tumbles out of his mouth before he can stop it.

'No Asgardian has ever lain a hand on me. Neither male nor female. None of them ever warmed my bed.' The blush on his usual pale cheeks deepens and he looks down again, evading the gaze of the blond.

A gentle hand cups his chin and lifts it, forcing Loki to look him in the eye again. It stays on his face, caressing his cheek. The look of shock on Thor's face is almost too much for him.

'Why not?', Thor almost whispers. The question surprises the trickster.

He shrugs. 'There never was anyone I could trust enough. And then my heart was already taken and I would have felt like betraying you, even if you never seemed to reciprocate my feelings. I am certain I could never be intimate with someone I do not trust, for I have made myself more enemies than advisable, they would use my weakness, my vulnerability, to hurt me.'

'Oh, Loki.', Thor's face switches between affection and surprise. His thumb strokes his prominent cheekbones. 'I will never hurt you.'

A small smile creeps despite of himself on Loki's face. 'I know, I guess, I am just nervous.'

Thor hugs him closely before pulling him into another kiss. 'We will wait as long as you want.'

'There is nothing to wait for. I know it is silly.', Loki says. The blond would never be too rash about this.

'It is not.', Thor reassures him. 'We will wait.'

'Thank you.', Loki's smile turns into a smirk in no time. 'Don't doubt that I want this, Thor. More than you can probably imagine.'

He nods in return. 'I understand. But I do think I can imagine.', he says grinning, pulling the ravenette close, pinning him to his chest. 'I have waited for this really long.' As if to emphasis his words he lets his hands run down Loki's sides.

'We don't have to..', Loki begins but Thor interrupts him.

'But I can wait a little longer, you are worth waiting for, Loki.' Loki is kissed tenderly and leans onto his sun, knowing everything will be fine.

'I want you to be completely comfortable and not feel obliged to do anything.', the blond continues.

'I don't feel obliged.', Loki murmurs, hearing the lie himself. He had never been able to deny Thor the fulfillment of any wish, especially when the object of desire could be given so easily.

Blue eyes capture green ones. 'Whenever you are ready, all right?'

Loki nods unsure. He is grateful that he doesn't have to sleep with Thor just now but feels guilty for giving false reasons for doing so. Thor would not understand. Loki really wants to but he can't, not just yet. He loves Thor, he desires him, but to do this he needs a different kind of trust he can't place in the blond. He can't even bring himself to admit it fully, just the thought of telling Thor makes him sick. But as long as a half-lie is going to do it, the trickster won't reveal the truth.

One last kiss and Loki vanishes in a wisp of smoke.

xXxXx

The last few weeks had been nothing but bliss. Finally being able to give in to his cravings Thor's lips refuse to stop smiling and the felicity that curses through his veins has not one time ebbed away. He could not have cared less if anyone sees the changes in him and his brother or if the whole of Asgard knows about them. He knows it can't be but can't bring himself to actually care. Loki takes care of Heimdall, Thor of his friends, the rest they can handle together so there is nothing to worry about for now.

As much time as they had spend in each other's company in these past weeks, they hadn't spend in the past years added together. It is better than Thor would have ever thought to be close to Loki again, to touch him without fearing of crossing a line. To hold his hand or let their feet touch under the table for ever so short a moment. To actually kiss the pale thin lips like he had dreamed for so many a year whenever he had the chance to. He can even forget that they are stealing these perfect little moments.

It amazes Thor how he can always read from Loki's behavior alone if they are alone or not. But the most astonishing thing for Thor is the actual change in his brother, how he really tries hard to let his guards down. Loki really seems to warm up to the idea of opening up emotionally, to tell him honest and open what is wrong or right or simply on his mind, to not draw back two steps for every step they take towards each other. Even his lashing out becomes noticeably more infrequent. It feels almost like Thor finally has his brother back, from before they drifted apart. Talking to him becomes more and more easy, as if it is the most natural thing to do. It quickly became Thor's favorite pastime to simply lie next to his brother, looking into his emerald eyes and talk about nothing and everything, where before there had just been duty or uneasiness. And to sometimes let his fingers trace the fair features of Loki's face. To relish in every involuntary leaning into the touch, every noise, every gesture he can draw out of the trickster before he can cover it. Thor could drown in the sight of his love, and die a happy man. Sometimes he feels that he just lives for the moment he sees the gleam in Loki's perfect eyes when he looks at Thor. How love radiates from the emerald pools until Loki looks away, cheeks turning slightly pink, being caught staring, admiring.

Everything could be perfect if it wouldn't be for the undeniable fact that Loki is still holding back himself and even though Thor understands and tries to be patient, he cannot say the same about his body. And maybe he would be even able to ignore his growing body's demands for Loki's sake if the younger one would not seem to want more than kissing as well. Slowly it gets really difficult for Thor to hide his impatience and his lust behind a smile. He thinks that Loki notices, because how could he not? He feels bad for putting this pressure on Loki. Sometimes, in the dead of the night, he asks himself what is wrong with him for desiring his brother like this but one look, one glance of the always so green eyes, lets reason vanish, because this is the only thing that is right, the only real thing in his life, his only certainty. He loves Loki, has loved him for so long, that stopping to love him would mean to stop being Thor. How can something that feels so right be wrong? If this is truly a curse of the Norns, he is grateful for it and he would live this down till the bitter end. And how could he not when Loki is the price to win and there is so little to lose compared to him?

As quiet as he can Thor steals through the empty corridors of the palace, fearing to accidentally run into someone. This is not forbidden, he reminds himself after flinching away from seeing a guard patrol down the hallway. He is a grown-up man and surely doesn't has to justify being out of his chambers in the evening. The sun had sunken about an hour ago but it is still early enough for a civil visit. And moreover Loki is still his brother, if he wishes to visit him he may do so. Even if it is unusual, no one can forbid him and he is doing nothing wrong. So when he crosses the way of another guard, he nods smiling to him before simply walking on, ignoring his thundering heartbeat.

He can almost hear Loki's snicker at his nervousness. If he could see Thor now, slightly blushing while walking down the corridors, risking to give away everything, Thor would surely be yet again the subject of his mocking. And actually, Thor wouldn't put it past him to be watching right now from the shadows and laugh quietly at him. There is a reason Loki is usually the one sneaking around the castle to visit Thor when he isn't using his magic. Wearing one's heart on one's sleeve isn't always the best thing.

Thor sneaks down another corridor. Why just lives his brother almost on the other side of the palace? He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and reads it again to make sure, he did not get it wrong. He had found the note in his pockets in the early afternoon, apparently his brother must have slipped it in around lunch. Thor cannot remember Loki anywhere near him, but he always was rather good at pick-pocketing and apparently also in putting something into pockets. It is a rather formal invitation in his curly writing to meet him after sundown in his rooms, just in case someone else sees it. Despite that Thor can't stop the excitement he feels growing with every step he takes towards his lover's quarters. There must be a reason Loki asked specifically to meet there and not as usual in Thor's. Patience had never been a strong virtue for the god of thunder but this time he is sure, the one of Loki is also running thin. Maybe he is mistaken in his assumption that Loki finally is indeed ready, nevertheless that does not stop the swing in his step.

What feels like an eternity later Thor reaches the ornamented doors leading to Loki's chambers. Gently he knocks before slipping inside. Loki already awaits him, smiling slightly he puts his book aside and rises gracefully from the chair. He is dressed in a green tunic and black leggings. They really accentuate his slim body in all the right places. This relaxed and jovial he had seldom seen his brother since their childhood. Fortunately Thor himself had also chosen rather loose clothes. Loki's whole appearance is inviting to stay.

'It is nice you came, Thor.'

Thor can feel a broad grin spreading on his face and quickly crosses the distance. The green eyes widen slightly but the smile stays put in his face. The slim waist is almost encircled by his large hands as he pulls Loki closer, pressing softly a kiss on his sinful lips. He slings an arm around his middle to bury his other hand in the raven black hair. This elicits a gasp from the younger, the sweet breath on his lips does not exactly make it easier for Thor not to rush, his grip tightens unconsciously. He waits until Loki returns his kisses again before flicking his tongue over his lips, slowly caressing Loki's bottom lip. Thor is allowed to deepen the kiss and does it without thinking. Even the inside of his mouth feels strangely cool, a completely new sensation for Thor. It just contributes to his brother's uniqueness, to his appeal. Loki's long fingers scratch on his back, silently pulling him closer.

Eventually the need for air becomes too great to ignore anymore. Thor smiles smugly seeing the usually pale man slightly flushed and out of breath, knowing it is alone his doing.

'A good evening to you, too.', Loki forces out, a little smile still playing around the corner of his mouth.

Thor chuckles deeply and presses another kiss on Loki's lips. 'The same to you. Any special plans for tonight?' He hopes his voice doesn't sound too hopeful.

'What would you like to do?', he asks innocently.

'I do not know, anything you like. We could go into the forest again, there we would not be interrupted.' And we could be as loud as we want to.

Loki chews on his lips. 'I was thinking we could maybe stay here.'

That sounds promising. Loki usually wants to go out, to do anything more than just talking and hiding away. Some parts of Thor might react a little too much to the unmade promise. 'As you wish, brother.'

'Thor.', he growls with a frown.

A strong hand traces the sharp cheekbones of Loki. 'I am sorry, Loki. Old habits. I did not mean to offend you.' He had grown impatient with being called 'brother' and dislikes it as much as the ravenette when they are alone, but sometimes it just slips his mind. It is not that he sees his little baby brother in the lithe form in front of him, but centuries have made this the natural address, a safe one.

'It is alright. Take a seat.'

Apparently Loki is in a very good mood today, Thor thinks, ensconcing himself in an armchair. Loki walks over to a side table and retrieves wine for both of them. Though Thor prefers the stronger taste of ale he stopped drinking it before meeting with Loki after he complained that his kisses were disgusting with this taste in his mouth. One night being banished from the perfect pale lips had been enough to let this new determination take its place in Thor's mind. Thankfully Thor accepts the goblet filled with sweet wine. Having chosen especially the armchair with another one right next to it, Thor is surprised when Loki ignores that one and gazes lazily at him, still standing and nipping on his drink.

'Is there something?', Thor inquires when Loki doesn't make a move.

'No.', he sounds distracted, a smirk creeps on his face. 'Everything is perfect.'

He places his goblet on the small table beside Thor's seat and his eyes lock the sky-blue ones. Slowly he advances and sits down on Thor's lap with a shy smile on his face. The blond does not hesitate to put an arm around the lean frame while Loki lifts his legs over one of the armrests to sit more comfortably. Loki leans down and captures his lips in a kiss, chaste but passionate nonetheless. He feels slender fingers taking the cup out of his hand before he can let it drop and place it with a soft clinging sound on the table. Loki turns his torso completely to Thor. The god of thunder finds himself more aroused than he would have deemed possible given that they are still fully dressed, as Loki's hands begin to roam his chest and stomach, occasionally returning to his hair, tugging it softly. Thor lets his hands wander freely, down this slim hips, over the legs and up again, all the while kissing Loki fervently.

When or how they landed on the bed Thor doesn't know or doesn't care about. All he knows is he is pinning Loki into the mattress and despite the cool body, he is impossibly hot. He really has to contain himself to not rip Loki's clothes apart and have him his way right now. His hands glide down Loki's sides, sending shivers through the younger man's body. Thor breaks the kiss to nip on his neck, to shower it with kisses and gentle bites. Loki's back arches in the most tempting way and a moan escapes those sinful lips.

By now one of the trickster's hands had found its way under Thor's tunic. It strokes the bare skin of his stomach, traces every abdominal muscle.

Breathless Loki moans. 'Thor.'

A possessive growl ripples through Thor's body. Parting the slim legs, the thunderer slips between them as he forces his tongue back into Loki's mouth and begins his exploration again.

'Wait, Thor.', Loki apparently has difficulties even uttering even these words, eyes closed in bliss, his whole body trembling in anticipation. Thor ignores him, resuming the kissing and licking of the pale skin. He is rewarded by a whining as he caresses the spot right behind his ear. At the same time Loki thrusts his hips up involuntarily, sending shivers all over Thor's body.

'Thor, we shouldn't..' Farther he does not come as a whimper leaves his throat.

'Shush, Loki.', he whispers in his ear, making his breath hitch. 'Don't talk.'

To his amazement Loki really silences and just wraps one leg around his waist. Thor starts to move slightly, he is rock hard and can feel that Loki is as well. Grinding their erections together feels spectacular, even with this far too many clothes in between. He slips one hand between their bodies, moving it down to palm Loki's groin. Taking possession of his mouth again he wraps his other arm closely around his body, now resting just on one elbow.

Loki breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.

'Thor, stop.'

The blond barely hears him, he lets his hand glide up the lean body but never ceases his movements. Loki turns his head away when Thor wants again to kiss his lips.

'Thor.' He can hear a hint of despair in his voice now, still breathless. The smaller body still presses against his, Loki's back is still arched. Thor tries to calm him, this surely is just nerves.

'Shush, Loki. Everything is fine.', he whispers, placing light tender kisses on his jawline and neck. Something moves under his hips and he unconsciously grinds down, gasping from the pleasure the additional friction brings.

'Thor, you are hurting me.' He sounds pained, close to tears and yet so calm.

Thor's eyes fly open and he looks at his little brother, eyes screwed close, a masque of hurt on his otherwise beautiful features. Realization hits Thor and he gasps, immediately lifting his weight of Loki. Tears sting in his own eyes.

'I am sorry, I am so sorry, Loki. Loki, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, so sorry.', he chokes out, blinking rapidly. His hands shake as they hover above his face, trying to decide whether to touch him or not, if it will inflict more damage. Slowly green eyes open, looking back insecure and vulnerable. Thor thinks he is going to suffocate from his emotions. When the silver tongue remains silent, he closes his eyes for a brief moment. He does not deserve to touch Loki again, he decides and sits up in bed, moving away to the edge to bury his face in his hands.

What had he done? Why hadn't he stopped? How could he have hurt the one he swore to protect? He had even promised him to never hurt him, and now?

'Thor?', Loki asks softly from behind. Thor cannot bring himself to face him yet.

'I am sorry, brother.' He senses movement on the mattress. 'I will go.' In a swift movement he stand up and heads for the door.

'Don't go, Thor.'

The blond stops with the handle grasped.

'Please. Stay.', the despair is back in the silken voice.

'I truly didn't mean to hurt you. I won't touch you again, Loki, you have my word.', he says sadly, guilt twitching deep inside his guts.

'You didn't.' He can hear Loki stand up now and turns around just to see guilt and desperation shining in green eyes. 'I just said that so you would.. I am sorry, Thor.'

This statement causes confusion in his head. It must mirror on his face.

Loki crosses the distance Thor had put between them, reaching up to cup his cheek. 'I am sorry, please don't go.' His voice is so terrible calm, his features composed. The tears that a moment ago had shone in his eyes have vanished.

'So you lied?', Thor summarizes.

'Yes.' Loki's hand still strokes his cheek as anger flares up in Thor and he pushes him back.

'Why did you do that?', he demands furious.

'I just said it because.. I just.. We can't, Thor. We can't do this. Please understand, we just can't.', he says mournfully, 'Please stay, don't go. I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I didn't want to hurt you. '

Slender fingers caress Thor's cheek and the real hurt that shines somewhere deep underneath the calmness in his brother's eyes almost breaks his heart. Loki rests his forehead apparently tired on Thor's shoulder, having come close again during his apology. But somehow Thor is not yet ready to forgive him this so easily. Why would Loki make him think he hurt him?  
'I am sorry, Thor.', he clears his throat and stands a little taller than before in front of the blond. 'You can, of course, go if you want to. Probably you better should.'

He turns away and walks back to the bed, leaving the utterly confused Thor behind him. He watches his little brother lie down on the covers with his face turned away from the door.

Something deep really must be troubling Loki when he would go to this extremes just to make Thor stop. His anger has subsided as suddenly as it had surfaced.

He sits down next to the ravenette who ignores him vehemently.

'Loki.', he says softly, while he tries not to lose hope. Thor unfortunately knows this state of the trickster just too well. Having shown weakness he would sulk until he's sure everyone had forgotten about it.

Thor moves on the covers and leans his back on the headboard. He is not willing to leave Loki in this self-destructive state. The look of civility edged on his face is always the time when he is most consumed by his emotions. Surprising Thor probably as much as himself, Loki sits up once Thor is seated comfortable. The green eyes stay downcast as he moves closer, cuddling into Thor's side. He puts both his arms around Loki's shoulders, as he feels a hesitant arm around his midsection. He never wants to let go of the smaller form. They just sit there for half an eternity, clinging on to each other, forgetting about time.

'Why can't we, Loki?', Thor whispers softly.

'I am sorry, Thor. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you.' The sound of his voice is slightly muffled.

Awkwardly he rubs his back in an attempt to soothe him. 'What did you mean?' He is not willing to drop this theme so easily.

'I don't know, I.. I just said it. It was a panic reaction.', he stutters, clearly evading the blond. 'I, you surprised me and I just panicked.'

'Loki, please don't lie.', he sighs, stroking the black hair.

'I don't. It was just too much, I didn't know what to do. I am truly sorry.' The lie is evident.

'Loki, please.', Thor begs.

He mumbles something the blond doesn't catch.

'Why can't we?', Thor repeats the question.

'Because I don't want to wake you.'

'Wake me? From what? I am quite awake and sober.' Thor shakes his head and furrows his brow. He grabs Loki's shoulders and brings some distance between them to look at his face.

'Until now, this is nothing more than a dream. And I fear you will wake, should I move too much.' He looks down, slightly ashamed.

'What do you mean?'

'Thor, you've not exactly been known for standing never wavering by your decisions.', he chuckles sadly and finally looks into Thor's eyes. 'You will wake up, one day. Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon. You will see I am poisonous and dark and not nearly what you deserve. And when that day comes, we won't have done anything that can't be undone. But if you touch me, we maybe can't step back from that.' A slender hand caresses his cheek.

'That is ridiculous.'

'Is it? I know that this is just temporary. And I am making sure nothing irrevocable happens so you can go back to be just my brother and can tell yourself this was nothing because nothing happened. That it was naught but an aberration of the mind.'

'That will never happen.'

'It will, and we will still be brothers. I have saved you and for that I will be able to smile and laugh and live despite being shattered. Because the light of my life will not be ripped from me completely. I will still be able to see my sun, even when it doesn't warm me anymore.'

He draws Loki close, burying his face in the raven black hair. 'Oh, Loki. That's what has been on your mind? Oh, love.' Thor presses his lips on the top of his head. Hadn't he succeeded in dissipating at least some of his fears?

'Yes.', he silently admits.

'Don't you know that I love you? How can you believe I just would change my mind?'

'You are like a thunderstorm, ever changing because you have to. You have always been very changeable, has any woman ever lasted longer than a few moons? Yes, that prospect is frightening.' Why does he has to sound so dead?

Thor cups his face, to look into his eyes. 'Do you know why none of them ever lasted?'

Green eyes look back sad as he shakes his head.

'Because they weren't who I wanted. None of them could ever give me what I needed. I love you. I always loved you. They just couldn't compete with you. Never stood a chance.', he smiles lovingly while caressing his cheek.

'Really?' Hope shines bright in his eyes.

'Loki, I honestly do not know who I would be, if I would not love you. And I did wake up, love. The moment I first kissed you, I woke up from my long sleep, I woke up and finally realized what I wanted in life. You. And only you. Forever.'

'I love you.' Their lips meet briefly before Loki cuddles into Thor's arms.

'I love you too.'

'You really mean it?', a little insecurity lingers in his eyes.

'Like I never meant something before.', Thor replies solemnly. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Anything.' Loki glides down a bit and settles in a more comfortable position, resting his head on Thor's shoulder.

'Was this talk about you never bedding anyone before the truth?'

He looks up surprised. 'I did not lie. At least no one I remember.', he laughs.

'Loki.', he sighs exaggerative. Loki is right back to his beloved jesting self.

'But I did lie that this is the reason I refused.' The laughter still is in his voice but Thor can hear his sincerity. 'I was nervous but not that much.'

'It is alright to be nervous.', Thor smiles. 'I remember how nervous I was.'

'But it is okay. I know you would never hurt me. Neither by purpose nor by accident. I am really sorry I said that. I shouldn't have.'

'You are forgiven.' Thor presses a quick kiss on his forehead. He is waiting for a sarcastic remark, a scoff, something but Loki surprises him again by simply sinking deeper into his embrace. Maybe, after all, he knows his brother not as good as he always claims he does. He would certainly have to change that.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello, back :)**

 **Thank you all for your reviews, favorites, alerts and support, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **A big part of this was written in a train, so sorry if that's noticeable. But however, straight to business. There is actually more to this chapter, but it would have been pretty long (around 12,000 words) and, the most important part, it isn't finished and I kinda thought the last sentence made a good ending. Don't know, felt right.**

 **I know, I was terribly mean to Thor, but I guess ... we're talking about Loki. He is an angsty character who just doesn't trust other people well.**

 **So, why not leave a review and tell me what you think? Please? Pretty please? Okay, no..**

 **See you next week :)**


	7. Chapter 6 Sincerity Part 2

Sincerity #2

'Thor!'

The younger god can't believe what the blond's tongue is doing to him. Thor had begun to lick and gently bite the sensitive skin of his neck, drawing out moans and pleasured sighs from Loki. A constant blush had crept on the tricksters face, if because he is embarrassed by how wanton he sounds or because he is so aroused, he cannot tell anymore.

Hearing his name moaned like that by the pale man beneath him would have made him even harder than he already is if that would be possible. He sucks at Loki's pulse point, drawing out another of the addicting sound from the his lover. A small bruise already begins to blossom there when he returns his attention to the perfect jawline and then to his lips. Loki clings to his shoulders to draw him closer. Thor has never felt more like being home. His tongue snakes into the cool mouth, exploring every inch and relishing in the feeling. He breaks free shortly just to whisper into Loki's ear: 'Spread your gorgeous legs for me, love.' He can see the blush creeping over the usual pale complexion but when he truly complies, the blond's heart skips a beat. Quickly he climbs on him completely, resuming their kissing, now all tongues and teeth. With the fulfillment of his dreams so close, he musters all his restraint to not rush and make this as pleasurable for his love as is just possible. Thor presses their chests flush together, still on his knees between Loki's legs, while ravaging the cool wet cave of the younger one, alternating between sucking on his tongue and bottom lip and trying to get as much out of Loki as he can.

The friction when the blond begins to move softly is almost too sweet for the younger prince. His back arches up from the mattress, his eyes already closed in bliss snap open abruptly to stare up at the blond god. Loki tries to stifle the moan threatening to escape him when Thor rolls his hips down again, but to no avail. Suddenly the blond sits up on his knees, the trickster whining at the loss of the wonderful weight, and looks down on Loki. The ravenette sits up as well at the silent invitation and strong hands glide down his sides, slowly lifting the rim of his tunic. Too perplexed to do anything than react he helps to rid himself of the needless garment. Thor tosses it somewhere to the ground before running his hands over the fine muscles of Loki's chest and abdomen, letting him shivering and wanting for more. Carefully he is shoved back to the mattress. Bright blue eyes look down on his bare chest. Transfixed by the love he sees in them, Loki feels more exposed than ever in his life and would give everything to never change it.

'You are so beautiful.'. Thor whispers awestruck before leaning down to capture Loki's lips once more for a kiss.

The kiss turns more passionate and is yet less heated than before. This is about showing love not lust. The trickster lets him take complete control. Finally there is nothing between them anymore and his brother once more trusts him. When he is contented with the swollen red state of Loki's lips he lets his fingers trail down his body, followed by his mouth. He takes his time exploring the body beneath him, every muscle visible through his fair skin deserves attention, every inch of the almost pure white he takes in, every now and then sucking gently until his skin is flushed. It is a sight to drown in. There is no need to rush for him. Thor caresses and teases the ravenette all the while whispering sweet nothings.

Loki had never felt so cherished, so valued in his life. He tries desperately to keep his eyes open but seeing Thor kneeling between his legs and leaving marks all over his body is simply too much. When the strong hands move again with purpose he doesn't stop them this time. Thor's lips find his just when he sneaks his thumbs under the waistband of Loki's trousers and begins to tug them down. Loudly he moans into the kiss when Thor pushes them past his hips. The blond sits up once more, pulling down the last piece of Loki's clothes between them while simultaneously taking off his tunic. He knows he should feel uncomfortable lying naked in front of his still half-dressed lover but he feels quite the opposite.

Thor sits back on his heels and lets his fingers travel over the long, now exposed, legs, taking in every offered detail of the beautiful creature in front of him. A loving smile spreads on his face. He finds green eyes looking back at him, glazed over but still attentive. Quickly he dives down for another kiss.

'You are so wonderful. You are breathtaking, Loki.'

Hearing his name whispered with such affection Loki can't stop to finally begin to realize his love isn't going to leave so soon. Maybe his fears truly had been nothing else than shadows scaring him like a small child. Maybe Thor really loves him just like he does.

'I love you.', leaves his lips when he sees the summer sky blue eyes again. 'I am yours.' Utterly and completely.

'I love you too.', Thor whispers, his usually booming voice soft with emotions after hearing Loki's surrender, his vulnerability. He maybe had finally accepted that this is all Thor would ever need, to hold Loki in his arms he would face a horde of bilgesnipes without any weapon. Every day. After that he devotes his attention again to the lean body Loki has the fortune to call his own.

Faster this time the kisses trail down to Loki's navel before Thor raises a little to have a good look at the throbbing cock that he had already felt rubbing against his stomach. The last time he had truly looked at his lover naked had been in their adolescence before it had become too embarrassing and too risky to catch a glimpse. But now no one would ever keep him from ogling anymore.

Mine, crosses his mind as he lets himself sink lower. Carefully he wraps one hand around the shaft and strokes up and down a few times, getting used to the feeling while keeping his eyes fixed on Loki's face. His eyes had been dark from desire before but now he can almost see no sliver of green in them anymore. The perfect lips are parted for a soundless moan. Slender hips buck up into his touch and Thor could come from the sight alone. Slowly he turns his attention from wonderful former green eyes to his gorgeous cock. Dipping his head down he lets his tongue lick fast over the head, tasting the pre-come. This elicits the loudest groan yet from the trickster and Thor just has to look up at him again.

Loki's eyes are fluttering when Thor begins to place kisses down his shaft, and he can feel himself leaking. His back is almost constantly arching into the touch, desperate to get more friction, more touch, more Thor. A tongue caresses the vein on the underside of his cock and it takes everything in Loki to not thrust up immediately. When Thor finally encloses it with his mouth, nothing short of a cry leaves his throat. Long fingers thread into the blond hair, to make him stop or to encourage him, Loki isn't too sure. No one has ever made him feel like this, it is almost too much to manage right now.

Thor bobs his head, varying in the pace and just using the minimum amount of teeth. A sudden thrust into his mouth makes him pull back and he sits up a bit. Loki is trembling and seems to be at total loss of control. His eyes turn warm and he tries a smile to tell Loki he isn't angry.

'Keep still, love.', he manages to whisper, resting his hands on Loki's sharp hipbones. He can feel the muscles tense and relax beneath his fingers but his bottom stays on the covers. Just when being sure there would be no further attempt, however involuntarily, to choke him, he lowers his head again, relishing the taste and texture of Loki, alternative sucking and humming in delight because of the noises coming from above, knowing he is the only reason and he would do anything to stay the only reason forever for the trickster to let go like this.

The hand reaches for his hair again, edging him on more, taking in as much of the cock as he can. All of a sudden Loki starts to pull on the strands of hair clasped by his fingers.

'Thor, stop. I'm going - ' The rest of the sentence is lost in a loud moan. The blond continues his work with renewed vigor. The pleading tone along with his divine sounds is the sweetest music that has ever reached his ears.

'Thor, please, I-I can't hold - ' The only thing that keeps the trickster from thrusting up to get more of himself into the hot wet mouth are the strong hands gripping his hips firmly, sure enough they are going to bruise. He tucks on the hair again, that wonderful long golden hair, not wanting this to end so soon but knowing he impossibly can hold on any longer, not with Thor sucking him like that, not with his stubble leaving absolutely no doubt who exactly is doing this to him, the light scratch making it far more real.

With a popping noise Thor withdraws his mouth and Loki can't help to still feel a bit disappointed now his request has been complied with.

Glazed eyes stare up, almost drown out the words dripping along with saliva and pre-come from Thor's lips.

'Come for me.'

'Thor, what - ', further he does not get before Thor brings his head down once more, starting to swallow around his cock. In that moment he doesn't care if the whole of Asgard hear him crying out Thor's name. He feels the tension building up more pronounced now before it snaps far too soon and Loki spills his seed into the hot mouth. That doesn't stop Thor from sucking and swallowing around his cock, milking him through the aftershock of his orgasm. Loki forces his eyes open again and sees Thor looking up at him intently before swallowing. If he wouldn't be spend he would come right again. His muscles tremble slightly, as he comes down from his high.

Loki closes his eyes to calm his heartbeat and breath when he feels Thor's mouth on his skin again, slowly trailing kisses all over Loki's body, coming up to his face again. For a moment he wonders if that is himself he can taste on Thor's lips, but then deciding that he doesn't care. His tongue easily slips into the trickster's mouth before breaking the kiss to lick on the rim of Loki's ear, his hot breath caressing his still oversensitive skin.

'Lick them.', he mumbles.

Three fingers demand entrance to Loki's mouth and he confused starts to work his tongue around them, with Thor still kissing his neck, every now and then glancing up to Loki sucking on his fingers. He can see the pupils once more taking over the bright blue.

When Thor is satisfied he extracts his fingers and moves his hand down with intention while occupying Loki's mouth with his, trying to distract him. However, when the ravenette feels Thor's fingers on his entrance, circling it to loosen his muscles there, a small gasp leaves the silver tongued mouth.

'Thor - '

Gently Thor presses one finger inside, Loki clenches around it immediately. Not that he hadn't expected they would come to this, but it is more uncomfortable than he would have thought. Nevertheless, the ravenette wants this, wants Thor to be happy as well, wants to be the reason for it. Loki wants to be his.

'Shush, love. Relax. You need to relax, Loki. You are too tense. Trust me, relax and you will feel like you just entered Valhalla, love. Please trust me.', he continues to murmur, keeping his eyes fixed on Loki's face and continuing to tease his entrance. He tries to comply and relax but the intrusion is more unpleasant than pleasurable until now. Loki begins to doubt seriously his decision being ready for this but eventually, thanks to the soothing words the blond keeps on murmuring, he relaxes enough to allow Thor to work his finger in and out a little.

Then the god of thunder resumes showering Loki's face with sweet kisses, trying successfully to distract him. If he keeps on being so tense, he surely would hurt him, the trickster in his pride would of course not admit that. After what feels like an eternity Thor is finally able to slip in another finger, careful not to hurt the fragile form already beginning to writhe beneath him.

A sudden cry leaves Loki's throat and Thor stills immediately.

'I am sorry. Did I hurt you?', his voice is thick with worry.

But instead of demanding him to stop, Loki forces out: 'Are you insane? Do that again!'

Thor repeats the movement of his fingers and Loki gasps again, moving unconsciously down on the impaling fingers. Whatever Thor is touching there inside of him, it feels magnificent. In no time he finds himself squirming beneath the muscular body, meeting every thrust in of Thor's fingers. His thoughts begin to cloud again and he feels himself growing hard. With a clearer mind he would really think this position degrading, fucking himself on Thor's fingers alone which work him open, but the delicious sweet friction he craves so much, takes all shame away.

Upon feeling Loki keening on his fingers like that, the little self restrain Thor had been able to hold onto, crumbles. Every now and then his name tumbles across the still swollen lips and his leggings become almost painfully tight sensing the new erection of his writhing lover.

Thor extracts his fingers from his now loose entrance and brushes Loki's lips one more time before standing up from the bed to remove his last layer of clothes, smiling when he sees the instant pout of Loki from his withdrawing vanishes into an admiring smile.

'My, have you grown.'

With Thor standing there in all his glory in front of him, Loki cannot help but be excited rather than afraid anymore. The logic part, in a tiny voice, keeps telling him that it would never work, never going to fit, but then main part of his mind is fixed on one thought alone. Mine.

Thor crawls back onto the bed between Loki's legs and stays there on his knees as the ravenette had sat up to have a better look at him, leaning now on him, head barely reaching his chest. Green eyes are fixed on the body finally revealed to them and long slender fingers almost tickle him with their almost imperceptible touches, light like feathers, like the wind on a summer day. The slow pace his lover sets for his exploration is agonizing but he lets him even though he barely has any patience left. Maybe this is a small act of revenge because he had refused to let him see and touch everything before Loki had not truly been giving himself to Thor? Whatever the reason is, may it be love that causes this thorough study of his body or something else, it is divine. The blond has never felt cherished and treasured before by any lover, not like he is the only reason this world exists. Thor can feel his lover's hands work their magic on him, tracing the outline of every muscle, every dent and every imperfection of his body is payed attention to, his soft sinful lips nipping at his chest when not following his hands. Putting his fingertips under Loki's chin to lift it up, he places loving chaste kisses on his lips, then letting the trickster resume his exploration.

Loki presses a kiss on his lips before allowing Thor to lower his body back on the mattress.

'Do you want me turn around?', Loki asks in a husky voice.

'No, I want to see you. I need to know this is no silly dream of my mind again.'

He plants another chaste kiss on his lips. 'Would you?', offering his hand. Loki's soft hands encircle it when he brings it close to his mouth to dart his tongue across Thor's palm. The blond moans loudly from the sensation.

'You have no idea how that feels, Loki.', he groans. 'How long I have been dreaming about this. How much I want you.'

When his hand is slicked enough, he moves it down to his cock, pumping it a few times before looking into green orbs again, gazing at him in wonder and delight. Loki's hands resume to cling on his shoulder blades.

'Tell me, if I hurt you.', Thor says before lining his cock up with Loki's entrance, keeping summer sky blue eyes fixed on green ones all the time. A slight trace of insecurity is still in them but there shines also love and lust. Gently Thor presses the tip into the hole.

Despite the preparation it still hurts when Thor enters him but it is a rather good pain. His fingers dig into the broad shoulders, clinging on to dear life and sanity. Lust clouds his mind still heavy as he tries to relax his muscles further. He feels his lover's name leave his lips when blue eyes close in bliss. Slowly Thor slides in further to give Loki time to adjust. A whimper escapes him when the pain ebbs away to make way to outright pleasure.

'You're so tight, Loki. You feel so wonderful..', Thor breathes heavy.

Every part of his body screams by now to claim the young body under him completely, to mark him, to rut mindlessly into him. With every fiber he fights to not lose his sanity buried in the sweet body, to let Loki's pleasure come first before his own, to not give in to his desire. Bit by bit he slips in until he is fully sheathed. Hearing a long drawn sigh he realizes he had closed his eyes. To see his love writhing underneath him, mouth slightly gaping, had been too much. Green eyes are half-hooded and he squirms. Nails are digging hard enough in his skin to draw blood but the blond doesn't mind. The pain makes the pleasure just all the more enjoyable.

'Can I move?', he forces out.

Loki just nods, too preoccupied by all the new sensations flooding in on him. Thor's delightful weight crushing the air almost out of his lungs and still Loki finds himself wishing he would be still heavier. The slight burn in stark contrast to the pleasure it brings, the blissful friction on his groins whenever his lover moves the slightest bit, the beholding sight of Thor alone, sweat glistening on his brow and his blond hair sticking to his face, are more then enough to rob him of any words. He has got to force himself to not shut his eyes, he wants to see, has to see but the temptation to lose himself in the feeling of Thor moving slow and soft in and out of him, still lingers around.

How long had he dreamed of this and never allowed to dwell on it. Then a new sensation hits him. With his latest movement Thor's cock had graced this amazing something inside him again. A long moan escapes his mouth as stars begin to blur his vision.

If before the wanton moan of his lover Thor's patience had ran thin, then now almost nothing is left. Knowing he had found the sweet spot, it is hard to not start pounding into him, to make him scream and squirm, begging for more but to keep it soft, loving, to just caress it as often as he can.

All of a sudden their slow pace is driving Loki mad, he needs more, oh so much more. He wraps his legs around the blond's hips, pulling him deeper inside of him with every thrust, still not close enough, trying to urge him on.

'More. Faster. Thor.', he stutters, whines, it almost drowns in his breathing.

That is all the motivation Thor needs to quicken his pace immediately, rejoicing in every now pronounced cry he draws from the trickster, every eyeflutter, hitting his sweet spot over and over again.

Soon his grinding becomes more frantic as Thor can feel his climax drawing nearer.

'Thor, I'm going - ' Loki meets Thor's thrust and still buries his heels in his bottom.

'I know.' He can feel Loki gradually tighten around him, sending even more intense pleasure up his spine. 'Me too.', he grunts out, forcing himself to lift his body with one arm to slip his hand between the two of them, grabbing hold of Loki's cock, rubbing against his stomach before, leaving a trace of pre-come.

With a loud cry Loki squirts his seed over Thor's hand and their stomachs. His body still shudders from the afterglow when Thor lets go of his softening cock to grab his hips, chasing his own pleasure now, slamming into him with more force. Feverish blue eyes seek for the beautiful blushed face above him. A few more thrusts later Thor spills his hot seed in the tight hole of his love with a roared 'Loki!'. Riding through his orgasm he feels Loki moving with him boneless, a blissful smile playing around his lips. He never wants to forget this sight, it would surely hunt him to his last breath. His arms refuse to carry him any longer and he lets his forehead sink on Loki's sweaty heaving chest before carefully sliding out and off of him, lying next to him.

Loki cuddles into his side after catching his breath a bit, seeing Thor's happy smile and his closed eyes. The blond's arms encircle him and draw him closer to him, Loki can feel lips on his hair curled into a smile.

'I love you.', Thor murmurs against his hair.

'I love you, too.'

'Sleep now, my love. Have sweet dreams.'

How could any dream be better than this?, he wants to ask but he already drifted off to sleep.

xXxXx

The sun stands high when Loki awakes softly, refusing to move though. This blissful night should never end, so if he just never opens his eyes, reality can't set in. It is not that he expects to wake alone or with Thor turned away from him, but he'd like to hold just a moment longer on to the most wonderful night of his life. Why he had refused himself to Thor so long is now not understandable for him, it had been better than anything he had ever imagined in the dead of the night.

His head is resting on a bare chest so he feels the chuckling of the blond even though he doesn't hear it.

'Good morning, my love. Are you going to pretend to be asleep much longer?'

A growl leaves his throat as Loki reluctantly opens his eyes, and turns his face to Thor. Yestereve Loki had already thought he looks astonishing, his royalty visible in every cell, but now he is just too perfect to be true. A broad grin is edged upon his features and his eyes sparkle with merriment.

'What?', Loki inquires suspicious.

'You are gorgeous when you wake.'

The statement makes Loki want to role his eyes but something in the smile of his lover still unsettles him. Thor leans down a bit and kisses Loki gently. In that moment when he opens his eyes again he sees blue eyes dart up and his smile widen.

'What are you laughing at?'

The blond sighs. 'I am not laughing, you just look absolutely adorable like this.'

Loki looks down on himself, body half-hidden by the sheets. When he had first woken in the middle of the night he had cleaned both of them with a spell, not wanting to leave Thor's arms to retrieve a washing cloth from the bathroom.

The glance of the blond goes up again. Loki's hands fly up to his hair, feeling nothing but a tangled mess.

'Wait a moment.', he says before jumping almost out of the bed and running to the bathroom. The tall mirror next to the basin shows him immediately why the blond had been so amused. His hair stands up in odd angles, and curls a little at the tangled ends. Quickly he combs through it with his hands, trying to tame it again.

'Everything alright?', a thundering voice asks from behind.

'I look ludicrous.' Why had his hair to ruin everything? Thor's hair is hanging like always around his face, messed in the most beautiful way.

Thor crosses the distance between them. 'You look stunning, nothing else.' The warmth that radiates from the blue eyes fixed through the mirror on his face makes Loki blush.

Strong arms sling around his waist, a warm body presses against him. 'You are perfect, love.' Thor kisses his neck, still looking at him. 'Did you enjoy last night?', he asks smiling, resting his chin on Loki's shoulder..

'Yes. Very much, Thor.'

'Good.', he laughs good-hearted. 'Because it was the best night of my life.' Another kiss is placed on his neck as he smiles too, his heart rejoicing. Loki turns around, kissing him softly.

'Really?'

'I love you. That alone made it special. So, yes, it is only rivaled by the night you told me you love me.'

'I do love you.' Thor's arms encircle his waist, pulling their bare bodies flush against each other.

'Come back to bed.', he whispers. 'I want feel you close for a little longer before getting some lunch.'

'Just give me a minute.', Loki says, turning back to the mirror, wanting to just smooth his hair just a bit to look better for his love.

'Forget it.' He forces him to face him. A wicked grin is spread on his face when his hands venture further down. 'Would you like to tousle it a little more?'

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **Hope you liked the little treat, next week we will go back to the 'present' but I first wanted to finish this chapter and with it the small sub-plot that's been going on. There probably will be some flashbacks in the future, but maybe not on a so regular basis.**

 **Right now, I am on an internship and don't have so much time to write, but I'll try to get out the next chapter still on time. It just might be a little shorter, I'll excuse myself later. [Reviews always get me to write faster and more. *hint*] So, what do you think about this chapter/story? ^^**

 **Anyway, see you hopefully next week.**


	8. Chapter 7 White

White

 _Language is the source of misunderstanding.  
_ _Antoine de Saint-Exupéry_

'Hold still, you big blundering idiot!'

Thor sighs deeply but raises himself a little, stopping to crush Loki into the headboard and sits still once more. Finally being able to breath again, he resumes to thread his fingers through thick golden hair. Thor is constantly fidgeting, sitting between his legs with his back turned on the ravenette.

'I am trying.', Thor sighs. 'But your fingers feel amazing.' Loki can now definitely hear a smug smile in his voice. A pleasured hum comes from the blond when Loki's fingers scrap over his scalp while braiding his hair. Finishing with the left small braid he presses his lips with a sly smile on the sweet spot right behind the blond's ear. Humming Thor leans lightly back into the touch, letting Loki roam his hands across his broad chest freely. Suddenly Thor turns half around, capturing Loki's lips for a long deep kiss, pressing him down into the pillows. After some struggling and jiggling he lies more or less comfortable under Thor. As the blond pulls back slightly to let his eyes wander over the lithe body half his hair falls in his face.

'See? Much better.', Loki smirks.

'I will have to put that to a test.', Thor grins back, diving back for another kiss.

'Stop it, Thor.' Giggling he tries to avoid his overambitious lover. Not that he would really want to stop him but they both have to get up. Their mother had seen Loki earlier this morning, wandering the gardens while collecting several herbs for his spells, asking him to wake Thor. It would not be good for a future king to sleep in every day. So three hours after vanishing from his rooms, Loki had entered them again, this time taking the door. Nevertheless, their mother would get suspicious if none of them is seen soon. And Loki has the feeling that if someone finds out about them, it would be the queen. Damn her sharp mind that she passed on to her second son.

'Thor, not now.', he exclaims, suppressing his laugh barely, when Thor's hands travel farther south.

Thor's tongue flickers over his pulse point. 'Why not?', he breathes into Loki's ear.

'Get up and let me finish this.' He hits Thor playfully and plasters a half-hearted scowl on his face. One last kiss is pressed on his lips before the god of thunder sits up sighing. Quickly Loki braids the rest of the hair otherwise covering the handsome face to complete his usual hairdo. Pressing his nose into the warrior's hair he breathes in deeply his scent. Unfortunately he would not be the one rejoicing in messing up the golden hair.

Like always, with Father not having any demands, Thor had immediately decided, that if he had to go out, he would go training. Loki had stated that with his hair in a messed state like his, having just stood up, every common warrior would defeat him due to the fact that it keeps on falling into his face. So the trickster had sat on the bed. A soft 'come here' and moments later he had found his lover sitting in front of him, strong hands stroking his calves while he busies himself with the spun gold.

'Finished.', he declares, moving back a little to admire his work.

'Good. I wasn't.' The cocky grin is back when he turns around. Loki knows that gleam in his eyes just too good.

'Didn't you want to go?'

'And not repay the favor of driving you crazy with my hands?' He shakes his head, grinning widely.

A hand snakes under Loki's loose tunic, making his breath hitch slightly. Soft lips kiss him and before he knows why or how he lies on his back again, Thor on top.

'Don't.', he chuckles. 'We can't now.'

He can hear Thor laughing against his neck. 'But I want to. And you apparently want too.' Loki squirms slightly when Thor bites his skin gently. 'It would be most rude to leave you like this, love.'

'Oh, be already gone.' He shoves him away gently, a smile on his face that belies his glare.

'Loki.' Thor pouts but sits up. 'Please.'

'Not now.'

'But I need you.'

A long heavy sigh escapes the trickster. 'Fine, later.'

'Tonight?' Hope gleams in his eyes.

Loki closes his already open mouth to stop a 'yes' from tumbling out. 'I am sorry, tonight I don't have time.' And he really is sorry. But he will not put off this long overdue meeting with Sleipi even though his heart is heavy.

'Then after training? Afterwards we could eat lunch.', he suggests.

'I don't know. I don't think that would be a good idea.'

Thor's hand cups his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. 'Alright. Then you have no excuse.' He lunges himself once more onto the bed, ignoring his protesting lover.

'Fine, fine, fine.', the trickster manages to force out between the laughs when Thor starts to tickle him. 'I'll be there.'

'Promise?' The blond stills momentarily, looking down to him.

'Yes.', he answers after some seconds.

'One hour before lunch. Here. Don't you dare being late.', Thor points his finger at him.

'I am not the one known to be always be late.' His hands grab Thor's bottom. They kiss more passionate but eventually Loki draws back. He really cannot wait to hold Thor in his arms again, but not right now. He's got to be the responsible one in this relationship.

'Love you.'

'I love you too, Loki.' Beautiful blue eyes gaze down on him but the blond makes no move to let him stand up, just presses his lips on his more firmly.

'I should go. Mother will be wondering why I took so long.'

'But we will see each other?'

'An hour before lunch.' Loki nods. 'I will be there. You should really go now, too. They'll be missing you.', he teases.

Thor grins and shrugs. 'I win anyway.'

He presses a quick kiss on Thor's lips. 'Then win for me.'

'I will.'

'Then finally get out of bed.', pressing a chaste loving kiss on his lips once more he shoves the blond of him and stands up, smoothing out his clothes.

'Will you come and watch me?', Thor asks, propped up on his elbow when Loki makes his way away from the bed.

'We'll see.'

'Please?'

With a smile Loki teleports into his own rooms to find something to occupy him. His gaze wanders over the herbs and plants he had orderless placed on his table before waking Thor. Loki sighs and sets to work. Stocking up on his personal experiment materials had been necessary now for a long time, some of the jars are completely empty. Especially his healing supplies had suffered greatly, with Thor obtaining every other day an injury and Loki not being able to ignore them as his lover does. The task keeps his hands busy, but not his mind. The developments regarding Muspelheim are more than alarming. Even if Thor had tried to downplay the issue, Loki isn't fooled so easily. Their father would drag Thor every now and then into new political issues to prepare him to take the throne somewhen in the future but usually just to the meetings with the counselors, not for prior sessions.

His thoughts are still on the threatening problems of the Nine realms when his fingers reach for nothing. Just when he wants to take a look at his list with potions and spells he wants to try, his eyes fix on an empty glass containment. Loki frowns when seeing that no evening star is left. It is not too essential for his usage but its missing nevertheless bothers the trickster. He likes to be prepared for anything. His mother had halted his collecting a bit too early. Some other of his containments are half-empty as well, all herbs he is sure grow in the palace gardens. For a moment he considers teleporting there before deciding to take the normal boring way. And if he takes the detour via the training grounds, it is definitely not for Thor or because he asked. Why would he care to watch his brother fighting the other warriors? That is none of his interest. And that all just to please Thor? No, definitely not. It is simply more convenient, even if there are shorter ways. This way his mother can't complain he isn't spending enough time outside. Yes, that is the only reason. And if he stops for a moment to watch the brilliant sun winning especially for him, that is pure coincidence.

The smoothness of his fighting style, the fluidity of his movements, the raw strength of his strikes are just a part of what defines the beauty of the warrior. The apparent easiness with which he dominates the battlefield had always fascinated Loki, his ability to outsmart others there, where it apparently is exclusively important. He is brash and not patient enough but Loki can see why there seldom is anyone able to truly challenge his lover. He has to admit, inward it makes him beam to know, that the most praised warrior of Asgard is his lover and no one knows. The training grounds are full of people this time of day so they fight in pairs of three, Thor against Lady Sif and a warrior of the northern borders whose name Loki can't bother to remember.

Loki shakes his head, he probably shouldn't enjoy the display of Thor's abilities so much but he really looks forward now for their little meeting later. Even though he doubts they will make it for lunch, at least he hopes. Maybe he could talk Thor into showering later, after their activities, of course he would never admit that the darker scent his lover carries after fighting riles him up.

The blond manages to shake Sif off a bit, throwing a triumphant smile into Loki's direction. Naturally he had noticed him watching. Loki smiles back, deciding he could probably spare another moment or two of his time to see his love win for him.

Sif braces herself for the next attack, but something is edged on her features which Loki cannot place. A cold fury, something like hate and determination. Something hurt, something mad, beyond reason. Thor has his back turned on her, fending off an attack of his second sparring partner, he cannot see the deadly look on her face, cannot see Loki's eyes widen with realization, with horror. Their fight of last night flashes up in his mind. _A_ _fter that statement of yours she would have to be really blind and deaf and completely stupid as to not have gotten the hint._ Time seems to pause and run far too fast.  
Sif moves and without conscious thought Loki does as well. His magic is useless, he is too late, shoots through his head.

'Thor!'

The cry leaves his throat a split second before his seidr makes the air cringe, panic tainting his voice, not thinking a second about anything but to stop her. This can't happen, he won't let it happen. He can't. His heart is on fire, it burns right through him. A pain that whitens everything out.

Hazel eyes widen in surprise and panic, light features framed with black hair twist right in front of his eyes. Loki thinks he can hear his name being called out but isn't sure about it. The only thing he knows for sure is the shock widened face staring at him doesn't look deadly anymore but her eyes still carry a hinge of that hidden fury, but he cannot remember why it is there, or for whom it is reserved. That he notices, and the fact that he can't seem to breathe anymore and the pain is still radiating from his chest, only this time it feels different. His own eyes mimic the expression of the black haired female who Loki knows, he is certain, but when and where they met, it trickles out of his mind. Slowly he diverts his gaze from the familiar face to the place where the pain seems to center. The edges blur. Blood seeps through his tunic. It looks surreal, like the sword still held by a pale hand which slowly withdraws. His hand flies up to the place where it impales his chest, marveling at the strange beauty of the blood tainting his white hands. He tries to take hold of his magic, but it escapes his grasp. Its control slips from him even faster than his consciousness. He looks up again. When exactly the face got replaced by a cloudless sky, Loki could not tell. But the pain lessens with every second.

The sun enters his vision before everything turns white.

xXxXx

'Thor!'

A scream seeping with panic echoes over the training grounds. Forgetting all about his spar, Thor's head whips around to the place his brother had stood not a moment ago, encouraging him with a smile but it is empty. He frowns before hearing a muffled gurgling sound from behind together with some not suppressed gasps and cries. Thor turns to Sif but the slim back of Loki blocks his gaze. His upper body is hunched forward. The gurgling sound is there again with no indication for Thor where it comes from. Glacial a red stain blooms on the backside of the green tunic clinging on his body starting from the point where the silver-red blade exits his body. Thor can do nothing but stare, his brain refusing to comprehend what happens in front of his eyes.

The body shakes and falls to the ground, hands around the blade piercing him. It breaks the spell and Thor drops his sword, rushing to kneel next to the black haired man.

'Loki!'

Green widened eyes stare at the sky, not taking in anything. Slowly they focus on Thor. A small smile appears on his pale face. Tears sting in Thor's eyes. He realizes the gurgling noise is the breath hitching in his lover's chest. The sword enters his torso just where his heart is, the exact heart whose beat he had listened to not half a day past. The deep red blood soaks through the former green tunic, far too fast, far too much. His own breath hitches as the tears begin to fall freely.

'Loki, no. Loki, please.'

He wants to touch him but it will cause his lover more pain, it could cause more damage. His mind is empty. This is impossible, it must be a bad dream. Please. It has to be. He will wake up in a moment, his Loki lying next to him, unharmed, complaining that he moved so much.

'Loki.'

Green eyes roll back as his consciousness leaves him, his skin seems to whiten momentarily. Blood rushes through Thor's ears, drowning out every sound. Helpless he looks up at Sif.

'What happened?'

His voice sounds pleading in his own ears and breaks. If she answers or not, he does not know. He returns his gaze to his brother, his lover, his friend, lying in the dirt, his chest rising forever so slightly. Somewhere in the back of his mind the warrior takes over the situation.

'Someone run to the healing halls. He needs help. They shall prepare.' His voice breaks again but his tone is authoritative. He changes his position and gently places his hands under Loki's body. Some of the few warriors on the grounds look as if they would offer their services, their help, but something in Thor's gaze makes them stop. No one will touch him, he is hurt, he is his responsibility. His hands shake violently. Loki feels cooler than normal. As careful as he can Thor lifts him up, panic and shock still cursing through his veins. The small crowd parts wordless when they pass, at least none of their sounds reaches Thor's ears. Please, hold on. Please, hold on. He repeats the mantra in his head again and again. This can't happen. Not now, not Loki. He prays to the Norns that they not take his sole purpose of life from him. They should take him, not his beloved brother.

'Please, Loki. Hold on. You have to hold on.', he murmurs while hastening through the almost empty corridors. 'Don't do this to me, Loki. Don't leave me, please don't leave me.'

His footsteps echo through the halls, blood dripping from his hands, from the still body. It is less than before, still far too much. It had been better before. He will bled dry before he gets help, crosses Thor's mind.

'Loki, love.'

They are alone in the corridors, none had dared to follow them. But Thor could have cared less.

'You can't leave me, please don't. I can't live without you.'

Tears run down his cheeks, blood down his hands. His lover's blood, a constant reminder that he could not protect the only person that matters to him. He goes as fast as he dares, afraid to hurt Loki further, to put him through more pain. The hilt of the sword still piercing his chest rises softly, each time with a fainter, wheezing sound. Maybe he shouldn't have picked Loki up at all. But by the time the healers would have been there he would surely be dead.

'We're almost there, you have to hold on. Please, stay with me.'

Loki cannot die. No, he can't. Thor's heart aches while he tries to be light-footed. He can't leave Thor behind. He has to hold on, has to survive. A darkness swallows his ache as dread fills him. What if Thor loses him? Speeding his steps despite his troubles to breathe.

'I love you, you cannot go. You have to come back.'

Never have the ways through the palace seemed so long. Not all the times he had sported various wounds, not when his friends had gotten hurt, not even when Loki had been brought home from that hunting trip years ago.

'Don't do this to me, Loki. Please, just don't go. Asgard needs you. Mother needs you. I need you.'

The rawness of his voice probably carries through the halls but he meets no one. Or maybe he does and can't remember. The fair features are white with a tinge of blue now, his breaths coming ever more infrequent and weak. The halls grow longer and longer, his steps seem to carry him nowhere.

'Please, Loki, don't leave me.', he sobs.

He isn't sure anymore if he talks out loud or just in his head. Thor begs and pleads and curses, swears and vows, surrenders. This cannot happen. The Norns cannot be this cruel. Not him, anyone, but not him.

'Love, please, stay.'

A new thought crosses his mind, unbidden, heart shattering, blood freezing. It is all his own fault. Loki would have never been on the training grounds today if he wouldn't have asked, if he hadn't been so selfish. If Loki dies, he alone is to blame. Guilt fuels his steps. New sobs build up in his throat. He killed his love.

Around the next corner finally a healer hurries towards him. Laying her eyes on the limp form in Thor's arms she pales visibly but urges Thor to follow her quickly. His heart races when they cross the threshold to the healing halls, he can barely hear the healers scurrying around him. His mind is blank again, he is placing Loki as gentle as he can on a bed without realizing much. The blood taints the white sheets immediately. Thor bows over Loki's face, not noticing the healers trying to usher him away.

'Hold on, Loki. I love you.'

He presses a kiss on the cold forehead, now definitely turning blue.

'You have to go, my Prince.'

Slowly the meaning trickles through the fog in his mind and Thor turns to the healer. She repeats her request.

'No, I want to stay.'

'We can't help him if you don't step back.'

Thor just shakes his head, feeling surprisingly strong hands drawing him away from the bed.

'No, he needs me!', he cries. They can't take him away.

'My Prince, we need to safe him. Please, step back.', she tries to reason.

Two other healers had stepped to the bed and begun to examine the damage. One of them frowned deeply, worry shining in her eyes. A shudder runs through the lithe body dying in front of his eyes when one of the healers touches him lightly.

'No, you're hurting him!'

He bumps into a small blond healer, trying to protect his fragile brother. Don't they understand how delicate he is? Looking down he sees sadness in her gaze but also determination.

'Thor, please let us do our work. Wait outside. You can't do anything for him now. Don't make this worse.' Her voice doesn't calm her but he stops trying to push forward. Thor had known her for his whole life, she had often patched up his brother and himself.

He lets himself being led out of the room, but not without casting back another glance. He is still breathing, faintly but noticeable. When will he see him the next time? And in what state? Outside the door the healer leaves him to hurry back. He slumps down, back leaning on a wall. Just when he wants to rest his head in his palms he sees the blood sticking to his hands, slowly dripping to the ground. His silver armor is tainted with red, the dark red cape has now dark spots on it. Far too much. Desperation clashes like waves over his head, drowning him slowly, painfully. He lets his tears fall, lets the people he barely hears hear his sobs, his despair. How could he care? Why would he? The only important thing in his world lies in the room behind him, if still alive he does not dare to think about.

How much time he passed in this numb and still painful state, he can't tell. Every moment someone could walk into the room and spell his doom. After a while he begins to pace, unable to hide his impatience much longer. The waiting without news drives him mad. But it means his love is still alive. He wants to rush in, to hold Loki in his arms, protect him, help him. Why had he just asked him to come and watch him fight? How could he have been so stupid? If Loki does not make it.. he does not believe he will. His legs grow tired from the walking up and down the small room. Fortunately they had put him in a separate chamber, the thought of company makes him feel nauseated. He wrings his blood soaked hands. He wants to see Loki, hears his laughter, feel his body and know he is alright.

Time races and creeps, maybe he waits for hours or just for some seconds, but eventually the door opens, Eir, the chief healer, entering the small room, face in a grim masque.

'My Prince.', she greets him hastily, washing blood from her hands with a cloth.

'Is Loki..' He can't finish the sentence. His voice breaks.

'He is alive, but only barely.', she quickly adds.

Thor releases his breath. Relief floods him. Alive.

'Can I see him?'

Eir sighs. 'He needs his rest now. Actually, I am not sure that will be enough. His injuries are very severe.'

'But he will be alright?', panic makes his voice jump an octave higher.

'I will do my best.' Empty words. 'His lung is punctured, his heart beats but very weakly. He has lost a lot of blood.', she clears her throat. 'Maybe it would be best to inform the king and the queen. Then you can visit him together.'

To bid him farewell.

She doesn't say it but he can hear it.

'Shall I send one of the servants?', she inquires softly.

Thor shakes his head. 'I will go. They should not hear it from anyone else.'

She nods understanding before turning around to enter the room with his only lover again. With dragging steps he leaves the halls of healing, and slowly makes his way to the place he knows his parents are always this time of day. He shakes violently and his mind spins around a thousand thoughts and is still so empty. Like his heart, hope abandoned it.

The guards open the doors for him without inquiries, sharing a confused and worried look. The throne room is almost empty except for some important visitor Thor had already forgotten about. The All-father glances furiously at the unexpected intruder, Thor knows exactly what he sees.

'Thor, is everything..'

His mother probably noticed the blood dried on his hands and armor, maybe the dead look on his face, whatever it is, she stops mid sentence, eyes widening with horror. His father's stare turns from fury to worry.

'What happened, son?'

'Are you hurt?', his mother walks past the visitors hurriedly.

Thor just shakes his head. The All-father had risen from his throne, crossing the hall with long steps. Where the guests vanish to, he doesn't know.

'You need to go to the healing halls, immediately.' Frigga's hands shake slightly as she tries to bring him there. He just shakes his head again, no words leaving his mouth.

'I am fine.', Thor forces out.

'What happened?', his father sounds wary.

'Loki.' He almost chokes on the word.

'What is with him?', his mother blinks back tears.

'He.. He is in the healing halls. He got injured. I don't know how. He was.. watching our training and then he suddenly was there and..' His voice breaks and new tears spill over his face. 'I couldn't protect him. It all happened so fast. One moment he was there and next he fell.'

'What did the healers say, son?'. Odin asks quietly.

'They do what they can. They promised. They are not sure if he makes it.', the last part is almost imperceptible.

'We need to go immediately.', Frigga looks at her husband who now wears a grim expression. She squeezes Thor's hand before going together with his father, leaving Thor alone in the far too big room, lost in sorrow and grief.

xXxXxXx

 **So, this is up a little early (at my place it's still Friday) 'cause I won't have time tomorrow and I didn't want this to be late. So happy early Saturday ^^** **Hope you don't bother.**

 **Well, what can I say? It just happened. [Now you probably understand the question about Sif, it still can be answered^^] And I feel aweful about this but I couldn't help it (I literally feel the hatemail starting ^^'')**

 **Reviews are always welcome and appreciated, I look forward to hear from you.**

 **See you next Saturday, this time for real :)**


	9. Chapter 8 Sunshine and Rain

Sunshine and Rain

 _Where are the snows of yesteryear?  
François Villon_

The silence is all-consuming. No one wants to disturb the doubtable peace of Asgard's younger prince lying in the halls of healing. It has been a few hours since Thor had left the training grounds, carrying his unconscious brother here. That Loki still has not regained consciousness is not just alarming him. Thor would have to lie if he would say he's seen worse wounds. At least the other warriors with similar injuries usually wear armor when they get hurt and don't just wear a loose tunic. And most of them are build more sturdy than his fragile little brother.

He might have nothing of a warrior's body structure but his heart is in the right place, never backing down when the fight is inevitable. His magic striking more effectively fear in the heart of their enemies and opponents than the best warrior with the best weapons ever could. Like a storm his mind never stands still even though he might force his body to do so. It is strange, wrong, to see him like this. Helpless and shattered, not one inch the proud man he normally is.

Their mother sits on a chair next to Loki's bed, holding his pale hand. Sadness radiates from her as well as desperation. She looks older than usual, still clad in her formal attire. Every now and then she smooths black hair standing up in all odd angles and sticking on his forehead. Thor had tried to make it sleek again, knowing how much Loki hates being seen with messy hair but it would not stay down, crusted with sweat, dirt and blood. The healers don't dare to move him too much without necessity.

The All-father stands behind his wife, one hand gently placed on her shoulder. He is calmer than the queen whose occasional sobs are the only disturbance of the temporary peace. But even in Odin's gaze lingers this sadness, that there is no hope, no light anymore to see. They are mourning, just waiting for the moment to begin so openly.

This revelation shocks Thor. They can't give up on him so easily. Of course he had noticed the sympathetic looks and hushed conversations of the healers that end as soon as he is noticed, had noticed that the healers do not fuss about him as they would usually do. Are his parents just accepting a truth? His gaze finds Loki's lithe form, almost lost in the bed. He looks pale even compared to the white sheets. He could be sleeping if it wouldn't be for the stiff way he is draped lying on his back, his lover always rests on his side. A part of Thor expects him to jump up any moment and laugh at them for falling for one of his pranks. But he doesn't move. His chest rises and falls so light, a few times the blond had been sure it didn't anymore. The sickening gurgling noise accompanies each of Loki's shaky breaths, quiet but noticeable. Each could be his last.

The door opens and Thor looks up hopeful before casting his eyes down again, disappointed when seeing that just a brown haired woman enters. She bows respectfully to the royal family, gazing up at Thor insecurely. He stands almost next to the door, trying not to think that the place his mother occupies should be his, next to his lover. Why does he even care anymore what the others, including their parents, think? He should hold Loki's hand, wipe the sweat from his brow, make him feel loved. Almost Thor can hear Loki's sneer.

What are you? A child? Stop whining. You're a prince of Asgard, that is just pathetic. Stop blowing our cover. Again. And get a grip on your emotions, oaf. I am not there to fix your mistakes.

A sad smile creeps on his face. The helper woman checks Loki's pulse and vitals. Worry creases her brow. With her hands she motions over his chest, using magic to control his injuries. Would he ever hear the sweet melodic voice again? See the sharp green eyes sparkling with mischief? Feel his touch? Has he himself given up now?

'Lady Eir will be here as soon as she can.', the brunette informs them quietly. The last two times someone had checked on Loki they had said the same. He feels like dragging her here himself and forcing her to help his brother. Why does she keep the royal family waiting? Does not even the chief healer have hope anymore? Does Thor still have? Loki should be awake again by now, that he isn't is a bad sign, he had heard the healers whisper.

'We will await her.', Odin replies evenly. The slight accusation slips maybe the woman's notice but not Thor's. He is not the only one who would like nothing better than demand Eir's immediate appearance but his parents are more patient. Than again, they had talked to her before Thor had dragged himself here again. They are resigned. Anger bubbles up in him. How can they give up all hope so easily, so willingly? They wouldn't if it would be him, he thinks bitterly. That is one of the reasons Loki always comes first for Thor, because he is no one else' first.

The sad glance of the brunette just lightens the fire of his rage. He won't die. They don't know him. None of them do. He is a fighter. He is strong. He can make this. He has to.

Tears pool in his eyes.

He has to.

The day is long and his brother continues to breathe. When the afternoon fades into evening, the chief healer finally knocks on the door. Thor is leaning heavily on the foot of the bed, willing Loki to read his mind, to hear his silent prayers.

Lady Eir sweeps into the room, an air of authority and calamity around her despite her busy actions.

'All-father, All-mother, Prince Thor.' She inclines her head, stepping up to Loki's side, quickly checking his state herself. As soon as she is done, she looks at Thor's parents.

'His injuries are severe. We did what we could.'

'Which is nothing.' His voice is grave. Blue eyes stay fixed on Loki.

'I personally did everything in my power, my Prince.', she stays civil.

'Can't you use magic to heal him?' The accusation is evident. It took Loki never more than a few moments to heal Thor's wounds.

'He is not reacting too good to magic. His own one interferes with mine, it doesn't accept the help. And magic can only fasten the process of healing. In the end he has to heal on his own.'

Thor closes his eyes and falls silent.

'How is he?', Frigga asks softly.

'He is alive.' She starts talking about his wounds, what they did. 'Prince Loki has not awaken yet. That is neither good nor bad. His body needs time to repair. I am not sure though, if it will.'

'But he is still alive. So he's made it through the worst, right?'

'I cannot say. He is clinging on to life but only barely. I will be honest to you, I have seen a lot of these wounds during the war and more often than not it didn't end good.'

A heavy silence wraps around the room.

'How long?' Odin's voice cuts through it.

'It'd be a miracle if he makes it through the night. There is a lot of blood in his lungs, he almost can't breathe. I am sorry.'

Thor fights back the new tears trying to overwhelm him. Loki is strong, he reminds himself. He can make this. Lady Eir takes her leave, having to care for more hopeful cases.

'How did this happen, son?', his father inquires, breaking into Thor's own misery. Desperately he tries to remember.

'I was sparring with Lady Sif and a guard from the northern borders. I saw Loki, standing on the edge of the training grounds, looking over.' His voice breaks. The sweet loving smile, that is always specially reserved for him, had been on Loki's face. 'I just fought the guard when I heard him yell my name.' His breathing quickens. 'I turned around and he lay there. There was so much blood.' Thor does not care for the tears falling down his face. 'It is all my fault.' I am sorry, brother.

'It is not, Thor.'

A gentle hand comes to rest on his arm. His mother's eyes are red with tears.

'Yes, it is. I should have protected him.' She has no idea how very much this is all his fault. If he hadn't been so selfish. If he wouldn't have insisted on Loki coming, then he could hold him in his arms now, unhurt, whole and safe.

'He was probably on the way back to the gardens.', his mother helps.

'You couldn't have protected him, son.'

'But I should have. He is my little brother.' Now he can't protect him anymore. If it wouldn't be for him, his parents would still have their youngest son.

'Why was he in the training grounds anyway? The gardens are quite far away.' Odin frowns.

Because I asked him to.

'What happened? Why would he jump unarmed into a spar?'

'Who did it, Thor?'

The question had passed his mind, not that he can remember much except Loki's blood on the grounds, Loki's empty stare, Loki's dead weight in his arms.

'Lady Sif must have attacked me.' He frowns. 'At least she was the only one near enough.' But why would he jump in? They were just training. Furthermore, Thor had been armored.

'Yes, but-'

'Does it really matter?' Thor almost yells, patience running out. Guilt is chewing on him and threatens to drag him under water. 'Loki is dying.', he forces out the bitter words. 'Why does it matter how it happened?' Or why he was there. Helplessness fills him up when his eyes drift back to Loki.

'No, sweetheart, it matters not. At least not right now.', his mother whispers, tears in her eyes. 'You look tired, you should get some sleep.', she adds softly, rubbing his arm in comfort but Thor just shakes his head stubbornly.

'My place is at his side.' Always. Where he is meant to be. He won't let Loki down again. not until his last breath. He can't suppress the new wave of sadness and guilt that come with the thought of how limited those precious breaths could be right now. Something is bubbling hot in his stomach pit.

Slowly the evening fades into night and darkness sweeps into the silent chamber. The night drags on and despite his resolve Thor somewhen must have fallen asleep. The moons of Asgard are hidden behind thick clouds as if the sky mourns alongside the royal family. Neither the queen nor the king leave their youngest son's side for a moment, torn between hope they would miss his waking and fear they would miss his passing.

Tears are in his mother's eyes when he jolts up from sleep, being hunted by terrible nightmares that his beloved brother would already have passed. His relief when he hears a ragged breath shaking the ravenette's chest is bigger than it should have been.

'Thor, you can..' Her voice is silk.

'No.' His voice is steel. Thor covers the pale hand resting above the sheets with his own, hoping to warm Loki, to show him a way back. 'I would not find rest.' Nor would he ever again. Dark thoughts drift off into dark dreams. Waking is just as bad as sleeping.

Somewhen around dawn his mother fortunately drifts off to sleep. Loki's breath hitches a few times but he lives, that's all Thor can focus on. Slowly the adrenaline that had cursed through his veins the whole day and night disappears and leaves him dozing off every few moments just to sit up straight again, forcing himself to concentrate, to stay strong.

The first sunlight creeps in, announcing the end of a dark and cold night. The clouds that had occupied the sky had vanished, Thor being too exhausted to keep up hot feelings. He feels nothing, just empty. He wishes Loki would be there, telling him calculating exactly what to do.

A helper comes in with some food for them. Thor refuses to eat anything. The queen awakes when the cold beams of sunlight reach her face and both his parents leave the chamber to get some rest, to change, to have some energy when the inevitable happens. the blond lets them go, not moving an inch.

xXxXx

After midday his mother comes back and urges him to get some sleep. Thor is too numb to refuse and is ushered out of the healing halls. He thinks about going to Loki's chambers rather than his but he knows it would not help. Furthermore he would not be able to explain to anyone sufficiently why he is there, cannot even explain to himself why he can not really sleep without his brother curled up on him. When he enters his rooms his gaze is drawn to the blanket they had lain upon on the beach. Had it truly not even been two days ago? Tears refuse to come now, he had cried himself empty. He rakes his hands through his messy hair. Damn. How could everything go so wrong in such a short time? Slumping down on the bed desperation finally finds its way into his heart. He reaches out for the pillow on the left side. It still smells like him. A sob escapes him, face pressed into the pillow but his eyes stay dry. He rolls onto the bed, clinging on the small item, protecting it with his body.

 _'Thor! Help me!' Tears are in the silken raven's voice._

 _Darkness blinds him. He runs but doesn't where to, cannot find his brother in the dark. The sound of a blade being drawn reaches his ears._

 _'Thor!'_

 _He runs faster but can't see a thing. He has to help him. Breathing becomes impossible, his legs are heavy as lead._

 _'Please, brother.'_

 _The silent begging brings him to his knees._

 _Green piercing eyes staring at him out of the darkness, a silent accusation._

 _Thor wants to scream but there is no air. Metal cuts through flesh. A gurgling noise rises. He stands next to his brother, barely breathing._

 _'This is all your fault.' All the silk is drained out of the loved voice. 'You could have saved me.'_

 _Blood is drying on his hands, burning his flesh. Green eyes lose their focus and turn blind._

 _A lonely boat on the rim of the ocean catches fire. All your fault._

Aimless he wanders the hallways, too afraid to sleep again, too nervous to do anything. A look to the hourglass had told him he hadn't even slept for two hours. He is more drained than before. It is the same dream he had before.

The healers had not let him inside their halls, the king's command. He should get some rest, it would do no good to disturb Loki's rest, someone would inform him.

When it is too late, he thinks bitterly. Every minute is precious, can his father not see that? That much Lady Eir hat told him already. His chances are better but not too good nevertheless. With a worried look to the sleeping queen she had added in a low voice, he should be prepared. If his magic continues to refuse their help and doesn't heal him, she does not know what to do with him. It isn't often that a master of magic comes into their halls injured like this. And especially with powers as unyielding as his, even in this state.

But it gives Thor some hope nonetheless. His magic is still intact. Maybe there is a slight chance...

He bumps into a very solid thing, too absorbed in his head to actually realize what it is. Thor's eyes start to focus and make out a person.

'I am sorry.', he murmurs, trying to get past that man without letting him get a good glimpse at him.

'Thor.', the man seems surprised and worried.

The blond looks further up, before just taking in the lower half.

'Volstagg?'

'How is he?', Hogun inquires, pushing past his red-haired friend alongside Fandral.

'Alive.', the answer leaves Thor's mouth weakly.

'So, no news?'

Fandral steps next to Thor, voice low. Thor shakes his head.

'He's still unconscious.'

'How are you?'

'Fine.', he replies without thinking. He hears their sighs.

'It is going to be alright, Loki is too stubborn.', the other blond tries to lighten his mood. But melancholy and uncertainty taint his voice. Out of the corner of his eye Thor catches a glimpse of black hair. His eyes fix on the young female warrior, slowly creeping towards them.

'You.' It's a statement.

'Thor, I-', Sif starts.

If it wouldn't be for the hand on his shoulder he would lunge forward. His hands curl into fists. How can she be this insolent?

'What are you doing here?', his voice is harsh.

'Thor, I am sorry.'

'Sorry? You don't get to be sorry.', he growls. 'He could die and you are sorry?' Red clouds his vision and rage bubbles in his stomach. His breathing quickens. He brushes hands away and advances.

'I didn't mean to.' She backs away.

'What happened?', he growls just a few feet from her.

'We spared and he just suddenly was there, materializing in front of my blade.'

'And you decided to kill him?'

'No, no.', she stammers as he gets closer. 'I- I had already began the attack - '

'Tell me, what happened.', he demands.

'I was about to attack you and he- suddenly he was there. It was too late, I couldn't do anything. You know I would never hurt him - '

'But you were angry at him.' Something in his head connects. 'You wanted him dead. You never liked him. If he dies it is all your fault.' Tears spill over again. Fury rages in him. Reason can wait.

Strong, insisting hands keep him from closing the remaining distance.

'Thor, calm down.', Hogun says somewhere far away. His ears ring.

'Why should I? She murdered my brother.' Thor's eyes stay fixed on his prey. 'She deserves nothing else.'

'He is not dead.'

'Not yet, you mean. They gave up on him already.' All of them.

'Thor, you should get some rest. You're not thinking straight.'

'Oh, I am thinking very straight.' He frees himself resolutely from their arms, breathing slower now. Turning to Sif he can see them all stiffening. His nails are cutting into his palms.

'Do you dare to touch my brother ever again and I will kill you. And don't you dare setting foot inside the palace again.' He says in the most calm voice he can muster. She trembles slightly when he turns around and leaves his friends back in the corridor.

xXxXx

The sun is dipping low. Sweat had accumulated on the pale brow again despite the chilly air coming in from nowhere in particular. It is refreshing but the late summer air outside is more cooling than the sterile air of the healing halls. A sickening scent is in the air despite the air conditioning, like disease and death.

Thor has to stifle a yawn. He is awake from the early hours of morning, having been woken by a servant and had been occupied by his father the whole day. One should not upset the sick, he has given as the only explanation, as each day this past week. The first day Odin had tried to keep Thor from visiting his brother every five minutes, refused to allow him to stay the whole day and night. But after the nasty incident with Sif and some similar occurrences with innocent bystanders on which Thor had verbally taken out his aggressions he had reluctantly given in and allowed Thor to stay with his brother at night if he would fulfill all his duties during the day, undoubtedly hoping Thor would be too tired to stay up all night. How little does he know the stubbornness of his eldest.

Another reason of this torture and façade is that Odin himself is worried, Thor can see it in his eye. He needs this distraction, this masque that everything is normal, that his youngest isn't about to die. The kingdom has to come first, then personal matters. The blond guesses this is not the first time his father internally disagrees with it.

His mother of course doesn't give too much about what the kingdom may think when she doesn't attend her duties, and Thor is content that Loki is not alone at day. The healers might have started to care for him far more intensely since he had survived this long but Thor would like that Loki does not wake up with just unfamiliar faces around him.

An elderly man stands next to the bed on the other side of Frigga and runs some short tests on Loki.

'He is still not responding. And the fever has gotten worse.'

'Is he still not reacting to magic?', Thor asks. The fever had started on his third unconscious day and had gotten worse by the minute.

'Unfortunately not. We need to figure out something, he is burning up.' The healers had stopped wanting to spare him from an uncomfortable truth after an embarrassing temper tantrum when everybody had refused to tell Thor anything.

'And if you get the fever down? Will he wake up?'

He sighs. 'I am not sure. He has been gone for some time. It is a bad sign that he doesn't wake, even if it would be just for a moment. I fear the worst.'

'What could be worse than this?', he inquires angrily. Does he think watching his brother suffer would be easy?

'That he has already left this world.'

Thor frowns.

'Sometimes the wounds are too severe and all we can do is to preserve the body. The body can live even without a soul hosting it. Maybe it would be better to -'

'No, I won't give up on him.'

The healer nods solemnly. 'Even if he makes it, he might not be the same, you should be prepared for that. Some people change when they get so heavily injured, when they are this close to death.' There is a small pause before the last word.

'Loki is strong.'

'You don't know what happened, you're not in his brain. It could have been traumatic for him. One can never be too sure about the extent of the damage. Maybe not all his wounds will heal in time.'

'He is strong.' He has to make it.

'Thank you.' Frigga touches the healers arm, signaling him to give them some space.

'He is strong.', Thor's eyes fill with tears.

'Yes, he is.', she tries to sooth both of them.

'I need him.', Thor admits, looking down.

'We all do, sweetheart.'

He never wanted to tell anyone but suddenly he wants nothing more than to confess everything to her just to not have it burning him up from the inside anymore. His love for Loki, their relationship, his future plans. The reason for his deep concern, for his despair that rivals hers.

'Thor, we will manage. It will be fine.' Her eyes are red.

'It is all my fault.' Tears overwhelm him. His mother might hate him but she deserves to know. Just not the reason for it. Thor had promised Loki and would keep him silent in his heart for the rest of his life if necessary.

'No, Thor, it is not- '

Vehemently he shakes his head, refusing to let her speak. He looks into her eyes, so much like his own. Hot guilt pools in his stomach. 'I asked him to come there.' It eats him up. 'If it wouldn't be for me he wouldn't have been anywhere near the training grounds. He would have never taken that detour.' He would be fine. Thor squeezes his eyes shut, not being able to bear the stare of his mother.

'My son.' She stands up and walks over to him, taking large hands into her own. Her eyes shine with unbearable understanding. 'It is not your fault. And Loki will tell you the same when he wakes up.'

If, Thor thinks helpless. But a caress of his cheek makes some of the dark thoughts vanish nonetheless.

'It is not your fault. He can protect himself and he chose for himself to go there. I could also go and blame myself for sending him to you and not letting him stay in the gardens. But it would do nothing good. It is no one's fault. It was an accident. It won't help him if we start blaming each other or ourselves. You understand?'

He nods without purpose.

'You should get some sleep.' She smiles slightly.

'No, I will stay. I don't want him to be alone.' I couldn't sleep anyway.

'I can stay.'

'You need sleep as well and you've been here the whole day. It is my turn.'

Frigga nods, concern and worry evident on her face. She takes her leave after a while, leaving the brothers alone. For another minute Thor just stares at the limp form, his deadly pale face twisting slightly as if in pain.

'Why just did you do it? You're supposed to be the intelligent one of the two of us. Why go on the training grounds and step into a fight? That's really unlike you brother.' Thor takes the seat to the right so he can hold the scorching hand. It is strange and surreal, Loki doesn't feel like Loki anymore. When he closes his eyes he can even imagine that it is just a stranger happening to look like his brother.

This is all wrong. Thor is the one training almost every free minute, if someone should get hurt it is him.

'I love you.'

Thor presses a kiss on Loki's feverish forehead. 'Please come back, love. I know you're still there.'

An indefinable murmur leaves Loki's mouth. He scrunches his eyes close. Thor stands up and dims the light a bit, then sits down and caresses his lover's cheek and forehead to sooth him back to deeper sleep, trying to bring down his temperature at least a bit.

'Shush, Loki. I am there.'

'My sun.' The first words he understands make a smile appear on the blond's face.

'I am here, I'm not going anywhere.'

'My sun.' Thor wonders if it is a question or a statement. Maybe the ravenette can hear him or dreams about him. Maybe he hears but doesn't recognize him.

'It's me, Thor. I am here, love.'

Loki goes back to incoherent words until his murmur stops entirely and his strained expressions vanishes a little while later.

He tells Loki all about his meetings he had been forced to attend this day and tries to not forget a single detail, knowing how annoyed Loki can get when he just gets half the information. He somehow doubts Loki can really hear him and can picture his brother's eye roll in front of him when Thor tells him about this afterwards but it offers some kind of comfort, some kind of normalcy to talk to Loki about his day. Half the time when he's awake Thor has the feeling Loki's not listening either.

Thor doesn't even notice he stopped talking until Loki groans and his muscles start to twitch. In an attempt to sooth him Thor caresses his hand and arm before getting a cool damp cloth feeling how warm Loki is. Loki starts to talk but the only words he can make out are 'my sun' to which he replies each time that he is right here. What is he dreaming about, Thor wonders. Nothing too bad, he hopes.

When the mumbling dies down somewhat Thor starts to talk again, about memories, places they had gone, things he wants to do with Loki, everything that comes to his mind. It somewhat seems to calm Loki. The day begins to wear on him and he knows he would be woken just as early as yesterday but he doesn't want to leave his brother, not even mentally. Long after they both fall silent with the almost imperceptible buzzing of the lamps as the only sounds. Thor still refuses to sleep. He watches the moons cross the sky, how their light floats across the floor, listens to Loki's shaky breaths and his infrequent murmurs. He knows he can't stay awake the whole time but he can at least try.

The sun is almost up when a knock makes Thor look away from the sweaty face for the first time. A young man with sandy hair opens the door hesitantly, prying in to check who else is there. Uncertainty but also determination are written over his handsome face. He had seen the man a few times with his brother but had never inquired after him, knowing Loki would only deny the fact that he knows the other blond. They had been sneaking around, as if no one can know that they do. The stranger had been visiting regularly since Loki lay here, only coming in when it is just Thor sitting at the ravenette's side. He is quite young, crosses Thor's mind again, like every time he sees him. What name he carries he has not told Thor and Thor had not asked. He seems to be looking up to Loki and judging from the glance he casts Thor, he has the feeling this stranger knows about him and Loki and doesn't bother. If Loki trusts him, he might be the only other friend apart from his that the trickster has, so Thor sees no reason to not do the same. A genuine smile spreads on Thor's face.

'Please, come in.'

xXxXx

It is a comfortable silence with the sandy-haired boy, not pressed with the urge to make conversation. The more time Thor spends with the mysterious stranger, the more does he believe he is really just a boy. Thor blames it on his height that he mistook him first. The kid is at least half a foot taller than he is, taller than any other Asgardian Thor had seen so far. But also his sturdy build belies his character. Once Frigga had stayed longer than usual. Upon seeing her, the stranger had fled with widened eyes and red cheeks, mumbling how sorry he is. He hadn't returned that night.

Now he sits on the opposite side of the bed and has the look of a kicked puppy on his face. His hands stroke Loki's hair, smoothing it like Thor always does. Sometimes he acts just like a child, he seems to be frightened out of his mind to be here, as if expecting punishment, but comes nonetheless. The way he looks at Thor reminds him of Loki's fear when he came into his chambers late at night after a nightmare, fear of rejection, of being thrown out, a fear of a child.

'Thank you that I can stay.' His voice is like water pouring over stone but somehow again his way of speaking reminds him of a child speaking with a stranger, guarded and slightly frightened but curious.

'No problem.' It had been their longest and only conversation after the fourth day of sitting together. No other words had left either mouth. The stranger would like to be alone with Loki and Thor would let him, trusting him without a reason, but he had sworn to remain at Loki's side.

Before the sun has any chance to rise, the stranger vanishes without a word, the drawn up chair being all that indicated that Thor had not just imagined him.

He still clutches one of Loki's hands possessively when his eyes drift close.

When he wakes it is still rather gloomy outside. For a second he wonders what woke him. Then he feels it again, a flutter in his hands.

'Thor?' A coarse voice asks softly again. It comes out between pained breaths. His eyes travel up the twitching arm and finally lock into green ones again, half-lidded and pupils still dilated, more asleep than awake.

For the first time in the past days he doesn't care about the tears running down his cheeks and his lips curl into a real smile.

'Loki.'

xXxXxXx

 **Hello back :)**

 **Thank you for all the feedback, I am so honored that you spend your time reading this. It really means the world to me. Also special thanks to everyone who favored, alerted and reviewed.**

 **Lana: Thank you so much for the review. I am flattered beyond words :3**

 **I woke Loki up now, cause... I mean, we all knew he would, so ^^ I just couldn't torture Thor any longer.**

 **But who is the mysterious stranger? Is Loki's brain truly damaged? Intrigued?**

 **Anyway, see you next week *wave***


	10. Chapter 9 Falling Hard, Falling Fast

Falling Hard, Falling Fast

 _We leave heaven to the angels and the sparrows.  
Heinrich Heine_

 _562 years prior..._  
How exactly it had happened, Thor will probably never know. One moment he and his friends were walking through the peaceful forest, laughing and joking, the next they were fleeing from a rampaging horde of bilgesnipe. There was chaos and panic among the small group of going-to-be warriors. Somehow this dream of a day had become a living nightmare.

How they had lost his brother is another uncertain detail. When he had noticed Loki was not behind them anymore, he had been sure Loki had found a way out of this disaster with his tricks, probably sitting now at home, laughing at them for running like lunatics.

But he wasn't home and he wasn't laughing. While he, Sif and the warrior three had been too busy running to look back, the scrawny Loki had tried to keep up with them or at least be faster than the beasts following him. He succeeded neither.

It had been hours until someone had found the black haired prince in the forest because no one of the company had been sure where they actually parted. Apparently he had tried to levitate himself into a tree but he had been too slow or the beasts had brought him down again. Long hours passed before a guard found Loki in the wake of destruction caused by the wicked creatures. Whatever had happened there, he had been injured severely, not live-threatening if one can actually believe the healers dancing around his brother, but bad enough to stay in the halls of healing for some weeks at least.

The longest hours of his short life are finally over when this message reaches Thor's ears. He had been pacing his rooms, being not allowed to go searching for Loki as well.

'How is he?', Thor inquires immediately upon entering the healing rooms. Worry twists his stomach painfully, has his heart still in an icy grasp.

'He is alright, given the circumstances.', his mother answers.

'I want to see him.'

'He's asleep right now. Loki needs the rest.'

'But he'll be fine?'

'Yes, Thor.' She touches his arm, tries to calm him. His heart still beats painfully. 'No need to worry. I already spoke to him.'

'You have?' His eyes shine a little brighter. Can this be true?

'But he needs rest now.'

'Why do they keep him here then?' There must be something else behind this, something they won't tell him. 'Just as a precaution. He was favored by fortune.'

'Can I please see him?', he pleads. He cannot have a single moment of rest without making sure himself that his brother is safe and sound. Today should have been about fun and now his brother is facing maybe even death. His mind draws him the most fantastic, terrifying pictures of Loki's state.

She sighs deeply. 'Fine.'

'I'll stay with him until he can get out of here.'

'Thor, that can be several weeks. And he won't leave until the healers give their consent. So, please, don't try to side with him when he wants to get out.'

Thor inclines his head. 'I promise, Mother. He will stay here.'

Judging by the scowl plastered on his face, Loki doesn't see a reason for that. Their mother and Thor sit in the small but bright room adjacent to the main rooms Loki has for his own, a courtesy to his royal status, at least when Thor asked Loki about it. Usually he would be treated like any other patient, a decree released by Father, but his threat to transform the next person who'd dare to disturb his thinking into a pig, might have changed the opinion of the healers and sped things up a bit.

'When can I leave this damned place? I'm fine.' Silk has never sounded so good.

'The healers say you have to stay. No more discussions, Loki.'

'I am bored.! I will trail behind with my studies! What am I supposed to do here the whole day?'

'I can be your company.'

He raises an eyebrow before turning back to their mother. 'Oh, come on. I could heal myself in a moment's time!'

'You won't use your powers for something that dangerous until you learn to fully control them. So many things could go wrong.'

'I can control them.' Loki looks defiantly at Frigga.

'Then what about the forest?', she demands furiously.

'That was an entirely different situation.' But they all know the argument is over when Loki diverts his gaze.

Long after their mother had gone, Loki looks up from the big tome resting on his stomach.

'You don't have to stay, oaf. I am fine.'

Thor can't really explain it to himself why he says: 'But I want to.'

He must have fallen asleep somewhen but the lights are still on when he wakes with a start. Thor's eyes are drawn immediately to Loki's bed. He is sound asleep. A small smile spreads on Thor's face seeing his brother this peacefully and relaxed. His book is lying on his chest, he must have fallen asleep still reading it, like all too often when they were children. Carefully Thor pries the book out of his hands and places it on the bedside table where Loki will easily find it. He pushes the dark hair out of the pale face, carefully not to wake him, then tugs him in so Loki won't be cold or uncomfortable at night. How he must have sneered when Thor fell asleep on the chair. So characteristic of him, so perfect.

Without thinking Thor leans down and presses a soft kiss on the pale lips.

Abruptly he draws back and stares with fear-widened eyes down at Loki. When he doesn't move, his thoughts start racing. Why had he done that? Loki is fine, why had he stayed? Why had this kiss felt so right?

Thor touches his own lips unconsciously before fleeing the room.

xXxXx

The training grounds are crowded today, apparently half of the guards of Asgard have decided to use this day to improve their already formidable combat skills. Thor has not counted how very often he had been bested today by warriors who would usually not even provide a challenge to him. Probably having slept less than an hour in a chair in the healing halls isn't the best preparation for battle. And spending the rest of the night pacing in his chambers, desperately trying to make sense to his own behavior, hadn't helped either. As soon as the sun had risen he had gone to the training grounds, looking for a distraction from his distraction. What does the kiss mean? Why had he done it? What would his brother say if he knew? What if he knows?

A hard hit on the back brings him back to reality.

And while he fights his friendly foe back, he tries to forget the perfect green eyes, how they usually sparkle with mischief and secrecy, always changing their color ever so subtle, shining like the deepest forest green or the lightest green of leaves of spring withing seconds, how one can see that little smile in them that never quite reaches his mouth, how they look up at Thor as if silently asking for approval, how they are a perfect mirror of his soul when he thinks no one sees, how sometimes sadness lingers in them that Thor just wants to dispel, their perfect shape, their nuances, their..

That mere moments later he lands on the ground tells him that he is not successful. He sighs heavily and refuses the hand that wants to help him up. Thor still has some dignity left. He needs a better distraction than training. Leaving the training grounds he goes looking for a better one. With his head so full of questions, guilt and confusion mixing into them, he'd just embarrass himself further.

But after all, Loki is his brother. It is not unusual to kiss one's brother, is it? Both of them were hurt, in one way or the other, the kiss had been for comfort, nothing more.

But then why does Thor feel so guilty? If the kiss would have been nothing more than a mere reflex born out of survivor's guilt, why can't he just let it be? It had been a reflex but not to make sure Loki is well but to spend him comfort, let him feel warmth, show him his love.

Thor stops dead in his tracks. This is exactly where this thinking should end. He spends the next few days evading the healing halls and his family all-together, hiding from the possible judgement, and constantly denying the fact his heart had accepted long ago. This goes so far that his mother corners him after a long day on the road with his friends just when he wants to flee into the solitude of his bedchambers.

'Thor. We need to talk.'

He swallows hard. 'Mother. Can that wait? I am rather tired.' The excuse is weak, they both know it.

'No, it can't. Loki is feeling better, just in case you care.' Guilt eats Thor up and he casts his eyes down. Frigga is furious about his behavior as well. 'First you don't want to leave your brother's side, then you don't even visit him for days.' He asked for you, remains unsaid.

'I am sorry, Mother.'

She sighs, a heavy expression crossing her beautiful face. 'Why don't you talk to him? Did you have a fight? You know how your brother can get when he thinks he has failed.'

He just knows too well. 'No, we didn't fight.'

'What is it then? Are you ashamed that he was hurt?'

His eyes widen with shock. 'N-no.', he stutters. 'Why would I?' Is that really what his mother and Loki believe? Can't they see he's hiding from himself and what he might do and feel around his brother?

'So then?'

How could he possibly explain to her what he refuses to understand himself? As much as he would wish for her maternal guidance, she cannot know.

'Nothing.', he murmurs, casting his eyes down again. 'I'll visit him tomorrow, alright? I just don't like to see him in there.'

'Me neither, sweetheart.' She tilts his chin so he has to look at her. 'But he looks up to you. He might need you more than you think. Loki would be happy if you'd keep him company.'

Thor nods rigid and bids her good night, quickly vanishing into his chambers. Once inside he closes his eyes and tries to breathe normal. His brother should not be looking up to someone like him. Thor isn't just evading his brother but also an elementary truth. It is something else than survivor's guilt that drove him into the kiss. Because if it would have been, Thor could have told his mother about it. No, the reason he kissed Loki is the only reason there can be.

'I love him.', Thor whispers into the darkness as his heart crushes. He kissed Loki because he had wanted to kiss him for some time but it had taken a nearly fatal accident to make him realize just that. Maybe there is even a small chance Loki likes him back the same way. His brother would nearly do everything for him. Thor shakes his head. That's exactly why he can't ever know. How could he ever be sure the ravenette isn't just trying to please him and defy the rules?

He can't allow this. There is a reason he had tried to avoid this dawning, this impending threat. This small ounce of truth would destroy his whole family if someone would know. He cannot allow this kind of feelings towards Loki. Never. What would his mother think of him? And Loki? Thor doesn't think he could face the repulsion and rage twisting his handsome face if he ever knew. The future king of Asgard, fallen for his own brother! He certainly wouldn't have to worry about the king-part if it ever becomes known. Asgard has rigorous punishments for incest. All too clear he remembers a couple living in the outskirts of the capital, brother and sister, who had maintained a secret romantic relationship for no one knows how long.

It had been a nice day, a cloudless sky made the promise of a long relaxed evening at the beach with friends, songs and fun. Odin had summoned Loki and Thor, asking both of them to join him executing a sentence. Thor remembers all too clear how green and blue eyes had shone likewise, wondering what sentence they would get and what the culprits had done to deserve this punishment. Quickly they were filled in after reaching the outskirts, excitement vanishing just as fast.

Loki might have kept his face during the execution but Thor had seen him throw up later. Even weeks later the sick thud and the smell of blood had haunted him. Even if with the king's favor such a fate he would be spared from, his father could never ignore this behavior. Kingdom goes before private life. If the Norns would be with him, he'd just be banished and would neither see his love nor his beloved family ever again. They'd be too disgusted to ever look at him again anyway. And he can't even blame them. It is wrong, entirely repulsive. And if he really loves Loki, he must let him go, must stop this right now before Thor would lose everything. Thor could never survive his rejection. He needs to get the beautiful ravenette out of his head lest they'd all be doomed. And Loki would never love him as more than a brother, everything else is just wishful thinking. Furthermore Loki's sense of family is too big, he loves them more than anything else, he would never ever risk that for anything, even if he would feel the same.

Thor spends more time than ever out of the palace and its grounds, along with his friends or alone, on the training grounds, in the taverns of the city, in the woods, everywhere he knows Loki doesn't go alone without reason. Occasionally Loki would come along, when Thor can't find an excuse for him not to, but Thor makes absolutely sure that they don't spend time alone. He can't trust himself. This is all probably just an abomination of his mind, he can't be in love with Loki, can't allow it. Maybe he isn't even. He is still hurt, maybe it still is just a fancy and will go away with time and distance. It is the only hope he has left. It has to go away. But it won't until Thor can get Loki out of his head.

He drinks too much and laughs too loud but the maidens seem to enjoy his company nonetheless. They provide enough distraction so his thoughts don't linger constantly on Loki but however hard he tries, Loki always stays on his mind, reminding him every moment painfully that it is not today's maiden he wants to take home. His lips still burn from the memory of the lips they kissed. Thor notes that he develops a special preference in his choices, who may accompany him wherever the closest place of privacy is. Dark hair and pale skin never fail to catch his eye. Loki's face seems to be everywhere. At least he can pretend for the duration of their encounter that it is Loki trembling and keening underneath him. In the throes of ecstasy Thor bites his tongue, afraid which name may slip especially when ale and mead had loosened his tongue.

And sometimes, when only drunk enough, he would find a suitable, willing male who reminds him of Loki, sometimes his smile or his eyes, sometimes the way he walks or talks, sometimes just the light and enough longing, Thor would bed him, knowing this is the closest he would ever get. In the morning he would regret, afraid someone would find out and finally draw the right conclusion, afraid he might have said something in his sleep or during their rut. Because he knows, Loki is always his last thought before he falls asleep, hoping his brother would visit him in his dreams, smiling and perfect.

Whenever Thor meets his brother, which happens less and less frequent, he finds himself staring at the beauty in front of him, fearing someone would notice but too entranced to care. Disappointment and a certain sadness burn in Loki's eyes whenever he catches Thor looking at him, threatening to let Thor choke on his emotions. He wants nothing more than to kiss the expression of Loki's face, tell him he doesn't hate him and isn't drawing back because of him. Thor always quickly looks away. Let him think I hate him, Thor tells himself then, the truth would be far worse. His brother draws back from everyone, being disappointed in the only person whose opinion was ever of value for the ravenette, and spends most of his time practicing his magic and doing who knows what. But the farther his brother is from him, the more he needs to get him out of his head, the more he longs for Loki's company.

Thor spends almost every night out with his friends, drinking, courting, trying to forget and failing.

xXxXx

He is bored out of his mind. Why had his mother just condemned him to these stupid halls? He can as well heal in his own rooms with his books and where no one can scold him for practicing magic. But no, he has to be confined to this room, with nothing to do and no one to see. Thor had promised to stay and even though Loki had scoffed about it, it had made him happy to know his brother wouldn't leave his side. Loki is a little angry about him, leaving in the middle of the night, but he can't hold the grudge for long. He'd vanish as well if not each time he makes a movement a healer would rush in, telling him off for not resting.

After the third day he seriously considers making this accursed halls explode so he doesn't have to stay any longer. Loki always visits Thor whenever he is forced to stay in these halls. Why does his brother not once repay this favor?

'He still hasn't visited?' Mother seems to be surprised when Loki reluctantly asks for Thor's absence after arguing with himself the last two nights. After all Thor could have been sent away.

'Forget about it, Mother.' He feels stupid for even asking.

'No. I'll talk to him.' Frigga puts her hands on her hips.

'No! Please don't.' He is weak and pathetic enough being chained to this bed without his mother talking his warrior brother into visiting him. Some dignity is still left in him.

'He could at least visit you, he doesn't have to stay.'

'No, Mother. Please.' Loki casts his eyes down. Does she not know how much it costs him to ask this of her? 'If you'd allow me to heal myself, I would not be here anymore.'

She sighs and sits down next to his bed. 'You do know why I can't.'

'It is not going to go wrong. I will be careful.'

'Loki, you have not complete control over your powers yet. You still need to learn so much. And this task is far too dangerous. One wrong, unpracticed move could be your last.'

'Can't you do something?' Loki knows that he pouts but can't help it.

Her smile is sad. 'Your magic doesn't react too good to mine.' Frigga strokes his hand. 'I am as good as useless for this.'

It isn't her fault. He is just strange.

'Why did my magic fail me?', he asks in a small voice.

'It didn't fail. You were just not concentrated enough to teleport out of the woods. The connection between your seidr and you isn't deep enough yet to work without you being calm and relaxed. You will lean in time.'

'I should have been able to teleport away from those beasts. I couldn't even levitate myself.' I am just too weak, couldn't even run away fast enough. No surprise his brother doesn't want to spend time with him anymore. Thor hates weakness.

'You are better than anyone I have ever seen in your age, Loki. You will learn.' Smiling she squeezes his hand. 'You are strong, Loki.'

Nope.

Some pressing minutes of silence later he asks her to leave. No Asgardian should be weak like this. Especially not their prince. He isn't even worth of this title. Loki doesn't even look like the others, his black hair being almost unique among them. He is not as strong or as sturdy as any of the warriors. Being agile and cunning he can stand his ground against most, but he never gets the respect that would be due because he just isn't good enough. He relies on magic instead of brute strength, the others often taunting him for his 'tricks'.

On the other hand, his brother is the muster example of an Asgardian. Strong, brash, invincible. The light to his darkness. Thor does not need to rely on women's skills to protect others. Thor stands every bit for the mighty warrior race. For everything Loki is not and will never be.

Maybe growing apart is best for Thor. His friends have never truly accepted Loki as one of them. Even their father does not deem him worthy of his attention. Loki would eventually just drag Thor down into being not good enough, being below average. The ravenette looks up at him like a hero having come to life from an old children's tale. The hero who never notices the weak but ignored man, standing at the side of the street he walks upon. Who never notices that this weak man would do anything in his power just to stand next to him, to be his equal.

Apparently his mother ignored his pleading and told Thor to visit him. This assumption is amplified by the way his brother sits next to him on a chair, looking like he would like to be anywhere but here. Except for a murmured greeting his brother had remained silent, staring anywhere but him. Loki had been right. Thor is disgusted. The very thought threatens to bring treacherous tears into his eyes.

Loki attempts several times for light conversation but fails spectacularly, his brother is uncomfortable beyond description. The more the blond evades him, the bigger gets the lump in his throat. Thor can't see him lose his face.

'I am tired, so, if you wouldn't mind..', Loki finally says, trying his best not to show his true emotions too clearly.

For a moment Loki imagines seeing hurt shine in summer sky blue eyes, but shakes himself mentally. There is also relief in Thor's gaze, no wishful thinking can erase that.

'If that is what you wish, brother.' He stands up without hesitation and practically flees the room. The last doubt vanishes that he imagined the pained expression on Thor's face.

Why would his brother be hurt anyway?

Weeks pass and the brothers see each other less and less often. Thor focuses on the things any young man in Asgard should focus upon, his training, battles, maidens. Never would the trickster admit how much it hurt him with what ease he had been tossed out of the blond's life, replaced by mead and bragging. What does his brother need him for anymore? There are enough maidens to look up at him, enough warriors who would stand at his side and willingly die for him, fighting much better than Loki probably ever would.

Loki focusses on his magic, his natural abilities and stays away from social encounters that would remind him of his inferiority as often as he can. He isn't practicing his battle skills to somewhen impress his father and his brother with them, isn't desperately trying to be the best in something that isn't magic just to get their approval, at least that's what he tells himself. But that doesn't make up for the long lonely hours he spends in his rooms or the library. He doesn't think about why sometimes tears invade his eyes at night when he managed yet again to not meet anyone he cares about during the whole day. He isn't worthy of their presence. How could he be, a shameful sorcerer like him? He carries a masque at day, smiling like he couldn't care less about anyone, like he'd be proud to be different when he wants nothing more than finally be what he is expected to be. Sometimes his brother manages to crack it, just a little, and Loki is sure Thor can see the sadness in his gaze but then blond turns away and Loki remains there, angry at himself for caring where he shouldn't care.

Loki floats in free space, neither free nor attached but unable to move. He is a planet knocked out of orbit who just realized how very far away his former home world is already, if it ever was home. Invisible he walks this world, not being part of it, never belonging here. Not truly at least, and those around him know. He can see it in the way they look at him, the question how someone so inferior can be part of them on their minds, and in the way they evade him like he carries an infectious disease that would make them all a weak as him.

Maybe Asgard never was home, but with Thor at his side, it had been a comfortable place to stay. It is for the better. He doesn't need anyone, should get used to this.

Being alone is what he wants. Being alone is what he deserves.

xXxXxXx

 **And we all know how this all ended :) But our favorite ravenette seems to deserve a hug. Anyway, like my best friend once said, Loki always looks like he needs a hug. Straight back to business.**

 **Hello back ;)**

 **Thank you for the amazing feedback. Love you all, even if you just read my story, it means so much to me. *enough soppiness* I hope you enjoyed this week's chapter as well, even though it was a little short.**

 **Just in case you care: Thor and Loki are supposed to be on the verge of adulthood, so like still really young. And if you wondered: At this point, Loki isn't in love with Thor (well, not that he'd admit). I kinda liked the idea that Thor liked him first. This story just demanded to be told. How sad to know how much time they could have had, now that their days are numbered. *Looking around panicking* Who said that?!**

 **Whatever, see you next week.**

 **(Oh, and on your way out.. Leave a review?^^ )  
**


	11. Chapter 10 Not A Woman

Not a woman

 _With words we fitly can our foes assail.  
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_

 _1 week prior..._  
'He is alive, but only just.', Eir greets them in the doorway. The queen and her husband had fastened through the palace, to their second son. 'I have used every ounce of my magic but he still isn't responding.'

Together they walk through the healing halls to a small side chamber.

'His magic had always difficulties adapting to our magic.' It has always been one of the greatest worries of Frigga.

'I fear to do more damage if we continue trying to force our seidr to join his. His magic is struggling to keep him alive. And if it continues to battle ours, I don't think he will have enough left to heal.'

'Then our magic is useless.', Odin states.

'Not necessarily.' They enter the small room.

Loki lies on the bed, buried beneath blankets, black hair spreads on the pillow in an unruly mess. The question why he is alone, dies on her lips. His usually pale skin has turned blue, marked with deep darker lines. Apart from his size, he looks every bit like a Jotunn. Eir is the only other person apart from her husband and herself who knows about Loki's true heritage.

'I could get the other healers out of the room before any of them could suspect the color comes from anything but his oxygen deficiency. His lungs are full of blood, they didn't ask too many questions. First it wasn't as visible as it is now, just a little tinge. Still, if none but I may treat him, they may start talking.'

'He's getting weaker.', Frigga mutters.

'Yes, my queen.'

'But if he can't even keep his shape shifter abilities up.. They are part of him.'

Eir sighs. 'Do not fear the worst.'

But how could she not? He is her son, will always be. His natural shape shifting had never failed before, not even when his emotions were high, not even when his magic would fail. When Odin had brought the small bundle with him after the last days of the war, she had doubted she could ever love the frost giant like her own child. Loki had proved her wrong every day ever since.

'He is dying, isn't he?' She is surprised how calm her voice is.

'We don't know. Maybe. He is no Asgardian after all. I do not know very much about his race.'

'But we must have something.', Odin insists.

'I am sorry, my king. I have read everything the Asgardian libraries offer about Jotnar. But the last peaceful negotiations between our people are too long gone. The information we have are outdated and full of gaps. Their physics are somewhat different from ours. He isn't healing at the same rate than any Asgardian, but much faster.'

Frigga touches Loki's hand, far colder than it normally would be. It almost is freezing.

'Can he heal from this?', Frigga looks at the thick bandages covering his chest.

Eir hesitates. 'I am not sure, but without help.. Unlikely.'

'Even if he heals, we can't let him be seen like this, the people would immediately know that this is not his home.', Odin interferes.

Frigga nods. If this is the only thing she can do for her son, so be it. Weaving her magic silently, Loki's pale complexion starts to overcast the blue skin again.

'It is just an image but it will keep his body temperature from being noticeable too low. It will stay until he regains strength.'

Silence stretches as the three Asgardians listen to the pained breaths of the second prince.

'What will we tell Thor? The image won't last forever or his magic could wash it away.'

'I will keep him away from here.'

Frigga huffs. 'You know the stubbornness of our son.'

'Well, I can just try.' It has been long since Frigga had seen such despair in his gaze.

Three days later, Frigga again sits together with Eir and her husband. Loki's condition had gone from bad to worse.

'The fever won't sink, no matter what we do.'

'We can't let him die.', Frigga says.

'How long can he keep this up?', Odin asks.

'Not long, I fear. Prince Loki is burning up.', Eir is in distress. She is always able to help.

'We have to do something.'

'We already discussed this. It is impossible.' Her husband sounds impatient.

'Your son's life is at stake!'

Odin closes his eye and sighs. 'Do you think this is an easy decision? We would risk war with Jotunheim if we tell them about Loki.'

'You took him in. It is your responsibility. Do you think the Jotnar would be more eager to hear that you didn't just take their prince but let him die?'

The heavy silence is broken by Eir.'My king, this might be the only choice. Jotnar have another kind of magic. They could probably heal him.'

'How long can he survive like this?', Odin asks.

'One week, maybe two. Topmost.'

'Then it is decided. Should he not be better within a week, I will call the Jotnar and ask them to help him. Even if it means losing him and risking war.' She can tell he isn't happy but would do what's necessary.

Frigga touches his arm. She smiles a 'thank you' and asks the Norns to keep Loki alive until then.

xXxXx

Loki is drifting between light and darkness. A light so blinding, it drowns out every feeling, it feels like floating in free space, jumping from the Bifrost, it is bright, yet cold and remote. The darkness is all-consuming, not as painless as the light but more bearable, less frightening, like a blanket hurled over one's head, not hiding him from the hot pain cursing through him. But this is a pain he can deal with. The sheer hopelessness and despair that envelope him every time the light slowly returns, are too much to take.

Fortunately, it is the darkness and pain that mostly encompass him, like walking through a forest. He is going somewhere, if he just could remember where. There had been someone he needed to see, but now..

Then there comes fog, clouding his senses, making him slow, even slower than before, and dizzy. Loki wishes he could sleep because of the tiredness that threatens to consume him. Every now and then the sun shines through, sometimes along with the white light, sometimes without it, and reminds him again that he needs to fight, that he can't give up, that there are people who count on him. But who they are, one by one they leave his mind, he knows they were there, he knows he loved them. Now they are but blurry images of Asgardian shape, loose memories and unplaceable.

Days or weeks or years he drifts off, it is an eternity, yet with every moment just like the last, how can he be sure? Maybe he spent a mere second in this state which seems to stretch into nothingness. Slowly but surely the clouds and mists of his mind make way to the sun, to sanity. His body becomes part of him once more even though he doubted somewhere in the back of his mind that it still exists. With the body comes the real pain. Searing white it burns right through him, threatening to tear the sanity of his mind apart again. He can't move, can't scream, can't think. Can't escape. Somehow the state of mindless drifting had been better but he prefers this pain. His body lives. Hel can wait.

The next thing he begins to notice is the brightness around him. Not the threatening empty light, but a welcoming soft shine. It somehow lessens the pain, the weak red glow surrounding him. Then he hears it. A snoring so characteristic, it just can be his glorious brother sleeping on a chair. A small smile appears on his lips before it is quickly replaced by a tight frown. His muscles ache, not having been used for, well, quite some time. His frown deepens. How long exactly? But whatever he tries, there are no days in his memory, nothing to give him any clues. He remembers the training grounds and a light.

His eyes snap open. The red glow that had seemed so familiar, sunlight seeping throw his eyelids, which is now stinging in his eyes but he keeps them open and tries to focus them on something.

Loki had been stabbed. Sif's blade had pierced him. The pain radiating from his chest lets him guess somewhere near his heart. Now that he moves a little he is sure the blade went right through it. Carefully he touches his chest and finds it heavily bandaged.

His eyes are finally drawn towards the snoring Loki is inclined to hit Thor with a pillow for waking him up and making a snide remark about how impossible it is that he is louder during the night than during day, but the words never leave his throat. Thor. One of the few reasons in his life to fight for, to endure this pain and not flinch once. The rays of the rising sun do not reach him yet but he outshines them easily.

A big hand covers his own, even while asleep Thor doesn't let him down. Nor will he ever, Loki thinks. He turns his hand so he can grasp the bigger one of his brother.

'Thor.'

It comes out as nothing short of a cough. His throat is dry, his voice raw from not using it. Thor flinches and his snoring ceases. Slowly blue eyes fix on him.

'Thor.' His throat feels like it's covered with sandpaper.

'Loki.'

It had been rare in their lives for Loki to see tears shining in his big brother's eyes. It is regarded unmanly to cry, yet he has never seen something so beautiful. His deep voice is brimming with emotions, his hand shaking under his touch.

'You're back.'

Thor stretches his hand towards Loki as if to touch him but seems to think better of it.

'You need more to get rid of me.', the ravenette attempts a laugh but the pain in his chest turns it quickly into a groan.

'Are you in pain? Shall I call for someone?'

'No.', he answers even though his heart is on fire and his breath gets caught. Lung is damaged, he noted dully. No one should ever see him like this. Not as long as he can help it.

'Can I get you something?' Worry seeps through his voice. Hands still hover uncertain over him before they settle back to Loki's arm.

'Water, please.'

Thor nods vigorously and leaves the room to retrieve a carafe. Loki closes his eyes and tries to block out the pain. He can't let Thor see. He can't let Thor worry about him. Loki uses the remaining moments to slow his breathing before his brother returns.

'Here.' Thor hands him a goblet. 'Shall I help you up?'

'No, no.' Loki chews on his lips, then adds: 'Just give it here.'

Surely he wouldn't be able to bend his upper body in order to drink without flinching or worse. Somehow he still manages to sip a little on the cool liquid in the end with Thor's help. It is degrading to say the least, to depend on this kind of help.

'Can I ask you something?'

'What?'

'The healers tried to use magic to save you, but it didn't work.'

'So?', he raises an eyebrow.

'Why is that? You're one of the best sorcerers on the nine realms.'

Loki sighs. Note to himself: he really shouldn't do that again.

'I never reacted too much to anyone's magic according to Mother and I assume having placed some magical wards on me won't have helped either.'

Thor frowns. 'Why do you place wards that keep you from being helped?'

'They merely support my own magic in defending me from being attacked or otherwise messed with. And healing is nothing more than slipping something inside me that doesn't belong there. My magic would always try to counteract. My seidr knows what's best for me. Furthermore Mother said that because I was born as a magic-user, Asgardian magic doesn't affect me that much or the way it should.'

The blond nods though Loki highly doubts because he agrees.

'I told Lady Eir that you are awake. She will be here soon.'

Loki nods slowly. He shouldn't have spoken so much before. His lungs begin to hurt terribly and Loki is certainly out of breath. Keeping his breathing slow though his body cries for oxygen, he lets his seidr examine his wounds. He had feared worse, it certainly could have been worse, at least he is still alive. It will nevertheless take an eternity to heal even with assistance from his part. Frustrated he notes how weak his magic is.

Loki remains silent, soaked up in thoughts how to fasten his healing and already making a plan what he needs, he doesn't even see Thor's fidgeting uncomfortable nor his attempt to stand up.

'I can go, if you want to. You need the rest.'

'No, stay.' His hand tightens around the blond's. 'Please.'

Loki frowns slightly. Where in Asgard did that come from? Of course he wants his brother to stay, to hold his hand and kiss him better, but he would never admit that to himself, much less say it out loud. Maybe Loki is really more tired than he formerly thought, or he hit his head. Hard. Very hard. Even that wouldn't explain it.

A soft kiss on his forehead soothes him and dispels his analyzing thoughts, Thor then sits down again, pressing his hand gently. What does it matter what weakness has befallen him if it means his lover is going to stay?

The sun rises higher and higher, light flooding the small chamber. Thor clears his throat.

'I didn't know if I could ever say it again to you, but, I love you. More than anything else. And if.. ', he pauses, evading Loki's gaze. 'And if thing would be different, you know I would- '

'Don't.'

'Loki.', he seems genuinely hurt. 'I just mean-'

'No. Don't. Things will never be different.' That's a simple fact Loki long ago had learned to accept. Thor can never be fully his. The sooner the blond accepts that as well, the better for him.

'I still would.', he mumbles, squeezing Loki's hand.

'I know. I love you too.'

After some minutes of sad and comforting silence later, Lady Eir shatters the remaining doubt that Loki is still alive by forcing Thor to move away so she could have a good look at Loki.

'We are glad you are back, Prince Loki. How are you feeling?'

'How would anyone feel being almost killed?', he replies sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

'Are you in pain? Shall I fetch you a potion?'

'Not necessary. I'll survive without for now.' The burning in his lungs hasn't got any better but he would rather perish than admit that to some woman who already thinks him weak.

'We need to check you over again as soon as possible. To control what damage has been done and what we can do about it.', she checks his pulse and seems slightly worried about it, then reaches out for a device to hear his breathing better.

'What have you already given me?', he asks, ignoring her fuzzing.

She lists all sorts of medical potions and concoctions, Loki's brain providing a list of ingredients for almost all of them, they are nothing too special, just the ordinary healing drinks. A rather big heap of them, he notes. Lady Eir really wanted to make sure to have done everything in her power. She proceeds with some more rare potions, each not what he would have given himself because they don't help in his kind of situation and, furthermore, he already had too much in his system to react the way they wanted him to. The list of components grows longer by the second.

Epiphany crosses his features. That would explain a lot, especially his behavior towards Thor. Loki has the strong urge to bang his head on something hard. Patience is running thin when he closes his eyes in annoyance. Does she really not know what she had concocted in his blood? Is it really Loki's duty to explain the healers how they should do their work? He can't believe that they don't learn this in their first year. Everything necessary is in his blood stream, normally for an ordinary person it would not be a problem if it means being healed, but for the Liesmith..

He bites his tongue and swallows the remark lying on the tip of his tongue. It would be highly inadvisable to speak too much for the time being.

'I understand.' Congratulations for not poisoning me, he thinks bitterly.

His eyes are still closed, making it easier to concentrate, without the blinding light distracting him.

'We should best leave him alone.', she whispers. 'He needs rest.'

Loki sighs and regrets it instantly. The flinch must have shown. 'No, I rested enough. How long was I unconscious?'

'A few days. And you need to rest.', Eir says strictly.

'Thor won't bother me in this state.' Damn. What was that with keeping his mouth shut?

'I am sure he will respect your injured state.' She raises her eyebrow and tosses Thor a look, daring him to cause mayhem in her halls. 'I will return later so we can discuss your treatment.'

'Sure.', he fortunately says it quiet enough so she misses it when she leaves the room.

'You should really rest, brother.'

Loki pouts. 'Well, then you will have to stay. I can't remember the last time I fell asleep without your arms around me. Or your lips on me.' A faint blush appears on his pale face. Shut up, he commands himself.

Thor smiles and leans over him, kissing his lips gently. 'Sleep, love. I will watch over you.'

Loki smiles back despite himself.

It seems mere moments later that his parents enter the small room, both seeming to have come here in a rush. Thor lets go of his hand in an instant, standing up to give his mother space. How Thor had managed to keep their secret with his impulsive guilty behavior will always remain a secret to Loki.

'Loki.', his mother kisses his forehead immediately and caresses his cheek. 'We came as soon as the message reached us.'

'It is alright. I had company.' He smiles in Thor's direction.

'Son.' Odin stands next to Loki's bed, squeezing his shoulder gently.

His mother gets a wet cloth and places it on Loki's forehead. 'Thank you.', he mutters, not having registered the building headache.

'You're still too warm for my liking, sweetheart.' Frigga sounds disapproving.

'I'll be fine, Mother.'

She nods before turning to Thor. 'You look tired, you should get some sleep.'

Thor catches Loki's eyes and nods. 'You are probably right. I'll come back later.'

Loki nods. He will be waiting. He would always be waiting.

His mother sits down next to him on the chair Thor had occupied mere minutes ago. She smiles the same loving smile she always had, reassuring him for he knows not what or why, giving him the strength and dignity he lacks right now. Odin had taken the place behind her, gazing mildly at him, and unless Loki is quite mistaken, he sees gratitude and relief in his eye.

After reassuring his mother for like the hundredth time that he does not require more 'help' at the moment nor any rest for he had slept really enough for the next few weeks, she finally contents herself with squeezing his hand. The short nap, as degrading as it is that he fell asleep again holding onto Thor, had at least replenished some of his energy and his lungs maybe burn a little less.

'So, what have I missed?' His gaze bores into the Odin's.

'Nothing that is of concern right now.', the All-father replies evenly. 'Why were you on the training grounds?'

Straight to business then. His mind seems a little fuzzy and he needs a while longer than he cares to admit to remember why he had come there. A millenia could have passed in the meantime as much as he is concerned.

'I was on my way back to the gardens.' Why he had taken the detour he better keeps quiet. Hopefully they wouldn't be too insistent on this matter for now. 'Lady Sif, Thor and a man were sparring.'

'Why did you interfere?', Frigga asks softly after several moments of silence.

'You didn't see the look on her face.', he whispers remembering the murder glistening in hazel eyes.

'They were just training.'

'No. Thor and Sif had a fight not a day past. She wasn't aiming for just winning. I had to do something.' Admittedly the worst and most stupid thing he possibly could have done, but nevertheless. 'Thor was unprepared to face real battle fury.' He saved him, nothing less. 'Armor has also its breaking point.'

'Are you accusing Lady Sif of attempted murder?', Odin rises his eyebrow.

'I do.'

'That is a serious accusation.' Odin stares him down, trying to detect a lie. Casting a second look on his medication should free him from any suspicions. But of course he would never doubt the healers.

'I know.'

Does his father really believe he would let himself be turned into a living training dummy for something less than Thor's life? Just to rid himself of Sif? True, she is insolent and in his way, trying to rob him of Thor's affections, using every opportunity to be near his lover and he would be lying if he said that it doesn't bother him that Thor and she have a history, but Loki likes to think himself too cunning to rely on methods like this.

It would break Thor's sweet heart if his friend is charged for attempted murder but Loki might not be around next time and Sif always carries a weapon with her contrary to Thor.

Odin sighs deeply. 'We will talk about this later again, son.'

Loki nods, knowing pushing wouldn't do any good now.

Frigga smiles at him, she at least isn't doubting him, just the state of his mind. Wonderful.

'Do you want us to call someone?', she inquires.

Loki rolls his eyes. 'Not necessary.'

She rubs his hand. 'I mean someone special? Your maiden?'

All his practice in keeping his face didn't prepare him for that. His mother had just lately found out about his 'maiden' when Loki had vanished on Thor when they were almost caught, and stumbled into his mother who was waiting in his rooms. She had concluded in an instant where he had been given the look of being caught on his face. No need to mention his state of undress at that time.

'No need for that.' His 'maiden' sure as Hel knows exactly where he is.

'Loki.' She smiles a little. 'It is alright. We don't care who she is.'

'Son, she needs to be no royalty.'

If they would just know how royal 'she' is.

'It's not that, I just..' He never finishes the sentence, unsure what to say.

'You're not my heir, so if you wish to marry someone not royal..'

'We can find a way but you have to talk to us for that, sweetheart.'

Loki mustn't open his mouth, whatever happens, who knows what might tumble out.

'We can't marry.' So much for that.

'Why not? Is she not from Asgard?'

'It wouldn't be bad for you to marry someone of our allies.' Not bad for Odin, the All-father, at least.

'No, it's..' He closes his eyes in discomfort. How can he possibly explain this without saying something? How can he talk himself out of this without his silver tongue to aid him? Without a lie? Because what the healers had concocted in his body is nothing else than one of the most potent truth potions he himself would be able to brew. No lie would be able to leave his lips as long as the effects are still on, in his knowledge it could take up to several days before Loki would be able to properly lie again when opening his mouth. Of course it had been part of his experiments to try to nullify the effects of it and he is a master at evading telling an outright lie, clinging just to as much truth as necessary that it is no complete lie but a half-truth, gazing at things and answering questions in an effort to say one possible truth which may be not the correct answer but an acceptable one.

'You should maybe go now. I feel quite tired.' The truth and nothing but the truth, the only possibility to come out of this situation unharmed would be to make them leave as soon as possible. He turns his head away from them so they won't see his face properly. Being tired, drained and drugged never makes a trustworthy combination regarding his expression.

'We aren't angry, Loki. We approve if you want to marry.', she tries to calm him, stroking his arm. 'We merely want to meet her somewhen.'

'That's not a good idea.' They would most likely more than disapprove.

'If our youngest son has finally taken interest in a woman, I would really like to get to know her.' Odin and Frigga must have talked about cornering him. And for the question burning on Loki's mind, why now, he knows already the answer. He would evade any questions of this kind in his usual manner, not giving one inch of his ground without a proper fight. They can't give him time to prepare. He certainly wouldn't if he would want an answer.

'I am really tired and would like to be alone.', he says quietly.

Loki tries to shift so he would no longer face them and manages despite the burning pain to move a little away. Lying so long on his back is way too uncomfortable anyway.

'Look, sweetheart, we do not mean to offend you, but you need not worry, we won't disapprove whoever it is. She must be eager to meet us too.'

'The longer you keep her hidden, the more likely she will think she's not worth our attention. And that's not true, any woman who you would like is good enough for us.' He hears the smile in Odin's voice. Loki closes his eyes, wishing he would be far away. This position doesn't allow him to breathe as comfortable as before.

'It's not a woman.', he whispers so quiet, he hopes they overheard it. He cannot muster the strength to go on fighting them.

'What?', Odin asks shocked.

Loki hunches his shoulders as if to protect himself, preparing for the outbreak. Even though it isn't forbidden in Asgard to be with one of the same sex, a lot of people still don't like the idea of it. He had always feared his father's outbreak when he found out that Loki never really had much interest in women. With tears in his eyes that he would later deny and that have nothing to do with the reason he is here, he repeats: 'I am not seeing a woman.'

And then, Loki waits. Always Loki had fought for his father's approval, that Odin would one day proudly refer to him as 'his son', the day he would value Loki as high as Thor. That one day, he would think of Loki as worthy. Now, he is waiting for the storm that will shatter all his hopes, will destroy and blow away the charts of his childish dreams. He never had been the son Odin wanted. Would never be it. In his eyes, he is not even a real man now. Odin usually hates everything out of the normal order.

And what's more, he is spoiling the golden sun of the royal family as well. Loki surely would await nothing else but the worst punishment possible, both for him and Odin's favorite son.

'Loki..', he starts calmly. Loki hunches his shoulders higher.

'We should better go, Loki is still very sick. He needs his rest, his fever is still high.', he hears the silent hope that Loki doesn't know what he is talking about. Loki couldn't stand the sadness and disappointment that probably are in her eyes. They had always hoped he would marry and stop being their problem.

Odin must have nodded, because Frigga bows over him and kisses his temple, whispering softly: 'I don't care, sweetheart. I love you. Get better soon.'

Odin leaves without a word, his wife keeping him in check until they are out of the room.

'This is outrageous!'

His father's voice rings through the closed door.

'He is a prince, he should behave like one! And he should be grateful! But no. He is just another of that- that creatures.'  
A soft murmur interrupts his tirade.

'That is an abomination! Nothing else!' He goes on condemning Loki but eventually his voice grows quieter. Tears are streaming over his face. He can't believe his father didn't know exactly that he could perfectly hear him. He hates Loki. After all this time trying to get his approval, he finally managed to make him hate Loki. After trying to be the perfect son, to impress him, Odin finally had seen him for what he is.

A monster. An abomination.


	12. Chapter 11 The Trial

The Trial

 _The whole is more than the sum of its parts.  
Aristotle_

Loki lies on the bed, abandoning his attempt to slip into unconsciousness once more and turns on his back because his lungs start to hurt terrible from resting on the side. His father's words haunt him, they are on constant replay in his mind, burn themselves into it, threaten to consume him. Every second thought, everything bad he ever thought about himself, every doubt and every guilt had been hurled at him again, everything he hates about himself, Odin had managed to put it into a few well-chosen words.

His stomach turns when he thinks of it. Is that what his father always thought about him? That he should be grateful he kept the disappointment of a son Loki is? That he is disgusting? An abomination? Loki probably wouldn't feel that hurt by his cruel father's words if he himself wouldn't think them of himself too.

Loki shakes himself mentally. Why should he care? Odin certainly never cared about him. Why should Loki try, no, pretend, to be the good son when he isn't even given a chance? Why would he waste his talents, his time, his identity for someone who will never appreciate it? Why not show Odin he is exactly what his father thinks he is? If he thinks Loki is nothing more than trouble, maybe he should do that. His mind had always seemed bend on causing mayhem, had rejoiced in chaos and disorder. Destruction seems to be his nature, so why fight it? Everyone expects him to cause naught but destruction, so why deny them? A little chaos might be exactly what is needed here.

All his life Loki wanted to be like everyone else. He might have put up a farce for everyone to believe he likes being different, but in the end, is it not for the best to embrace his diversity? Is it not for the best to embrace everybody's fear?

Why is he even so hurt by his father's discardment? He shouldn't care what others may think! He is the trickster, he simply lets them believe what he wants. Let them talk about him. They don't care about his emotions, so why waste them for them? Loki is better off without them. He really shouldn't care.

Thor interrupts abruptly his brooding when he storms into the room, he looks quite agitated. Upon seeing Loki he calms visibly before Thor looks him over more closely.

'What is it, love?' The blond had closed the door behind him and now quickly closes the distance. Worry is apparent in his voice.

Loki frowns, not knowing what his brother speaks about. Word possibly can't have gotten out quite that fast.

Thor sits down on the edge of his bed, then places his hand on Loki's cheek and brushes tears away. Loki is surprised, he hadn't noticed them escaping.

Loki shakes his head. There is something he needs to do first. Slowly he starts to recount the last day in his memory, trying to make Thor see why he had done, what he had done, and why the blond has to stay away from the dark haired warrior maiden.

When he is finished with his explanation, Thor is confused.

'We had a fight, Loki. I can't quite believe..'

'But she did, Thor. There was murder in her eyes.'

'I believe that that is what you think you saw, Loki. I just.. Sif and I are friends for a long time. I can't believe that is what really happened.'

'So you don't believe me?'

'What you think you saw-'

'What I did see.'

'- is just unbelievable. She wouldn't do that. Maybe you are mistaken. Maybe you imagined it.' Thor's voice grows quieter and he is more careful.

'So you think I threw myself in front of you because it was a nice day to be almost killed?' Loki grows angry. He hadn't imagined it to be so difficult to make his brother believe the truth.

'No.' The blond lets his head hang slightly. 'But maybe you exaggerate?'

Loki's eyes fill with rage.

'I am not saying.. I believe what you saw and what was really there is not the same entirely.'

'It is not. Why is it so hard to believe that your ex-girlfriend wanted to-'

'Because I know her. She wouldn't.'

'Are you sure? Are you completely sure about that, Thor? Why do you believe her and not me?'

'It is not a matter of trust.'

'I love you. I protected you. Do you still feel something for her?'

'No, Loki. Of course not, love.'

'See, that's what I find hard to believe.', Loki says gloomy.

Thor sighs deeply. 'You know what I feel. Let us cease talking about this. You need to rest. There will be plenty of time to discuss this matter.'

Loki nods reluctantly. Why does everyone insist on him being too weak to see this impending danger? Silence settles between the brothers.

'But that is not why you were upset.'

Loki sighs painfully. 'No. Our parents visited. I almost ruined everything. They kept urging me to tell them who I was seeing.'

'Did you tell them?' The blond is shocked, afraid of what Loki might have said.

'Not like that. I said it was no woman I am seeing.'

'Why didn't you lie?' Thor's eyes are widened, he is forlorn.

'I wanted to, but I am tired. I couldn't.' That he can't lie, Loki better keeps to himself for now.

'Why couldn't you?' The blond knows there is something cooking. Loki shrugs.

'It just slipped out. I am sorry.' Loki looks away.

'What did they say?' Thor strokes his hair, Loki leans into the slight touch before repeating what he had heard. Thor freezes in mid-motion, staring with unbelieving eyes at him. Tears start again to fall and Loki curses every single one of them. He is no child, he shouldn't depend on his father's good will.

'I am so sorry I wasn't there.', Thor whispers. 'Don't listen to him, Loki. You're wonderful. Perfect.' He resumes caressing his cheek.

Father is not wrong, Loki thinks bitterly. He is startled when Thor shoves him softly over to the other side of the bed.

'What are you doing there?', Loki asks astonished.

'I won't leave you.', Thor states and lies down next to Loki. They barely fit even with Thor resting on his side and Loki curling up against him, but it is comfortable nonetheless. Breathing in Thor's scent Loki gives up all his protests. He cannot breathe that well in this position but he doesn't care. His lover is at his side, here he is safe, here he can let himself fall.

'I am there, love.', Thor whispers, putting an arm around Loki's shoulders.

Resting his head on Thor's shoulder, he finally allows the tears to lull him to sleep.

xXxXx

'Mother.'

Thor is taken by surprise when the door suddenly opens and his mother enters. He is about to jump up, but she smiles fondly and motions him to stay. Loki would have probably woken up if Thor would rise, the way he holds him in his arms. Thor is actually astonished that his brother isn't already awake, surely he is really tired.

Frigga's smile turns sad when she sits down next to the bed on the chair formerly occupied by Thor.

'I couldn't leave him alone.', Thor starts. Now he has to find a way to explain why he cuddles with his grown-up brother. 'What happened? I only understood about half of it.'

'We tried to talk to him about his relationship. He said he isn't seeing a woman.'

Thor nods and tries to keep a neutral expression.

'You knew?'

Thor evades her gaze and shrugs. In his arms Loki starts to fidget a little, the surest sign of an approaching nightmare. For the first time he wishes his mother would leave soon. Usually he would either wake up his lover now or hug him close enough to dispel the dream.

'Do you know who?', she asks.

Drawing a deep breath, he says: 'No.'

'Do you remember the blond man who sneaked inside here once? Do you think he could..?'

Thor remembers just too well. 'No, I don't think so. They are just friends.' At least he hopes.

'Really? He got in here even though I permitted no other visitors.'

'Yes. He must be friends with Loki, sneaking in here like that.' They both smile.

'Well, Loki must have a reason to hide his- friend.' There is an almost imperceptible pause before the last word.

'Are you truly surprised he doesn't want to tell you the way father talked about him?'

'We left before anything was said.' She looks insecure.

'He heard you. Father called him an abomination.'

She closes her eyes. A moment she seems to think about telling Thor something, something important but decides against it. 'I have to talk to your brother.'

'Yes, you really should.' He is sure she didn't mean for Loki to be hurt like this, still, she should protect him better.

A heavy sigh leaves Frigga. 'How was he?'

'How should he be after hearing what Father said about him?' Anger rises again in Thor.

Loki starts to shiver slightly.

'Your father was upset. He will get over it. Eventually.'

'There is nothing to get over. It is Loki's free choice.'

'And I accept it. As does your father. He'll be fine. He will understand. We will still be a family.' Thor isn't sure if she still talks about Odin, but she looks so sad, he doesn't ask.

'Has he told you about Sif?', she asks, changing the subject.

'He has.'

'Do you believe him?'

'I do believe- ' What does he believe? 'Maybe he thought she tried to kill me, but I can't really believe it.'

'Your father has the same problem. There will be a trial.'

'What for?' Thor furrows his brows.

'There would have already been an inquiry because of the accident. Usually both would have said it was an accident and that would have been the end. But because of Loki's accusations it will have to be bigger. Odin can't just let this be. A member of the royal family was hurt, and that apparently on purpose.'

'When?'

'As soon as your brother is better. It won't be too long though.'

'How can they prove what happened?'

Loki emits a soft whimper, making Thor look down. Softly he rubs his arm, hoping to give the ravenette some comfort.

'They can't.'

'Father doesn't believe him?'

'He would like to. But Loki and Sif never got along. He has to make sure this isn't an act of revenge.' She touches his arm slightly. 'I know she is your friend.'

'No, Father.', Loki murmurs in his sleep. Sweat accumulates on his brow.

'Shush.' Thor has to fight the instinct to kiss his forehead.

'No.' Loki starts to squirm vehemently.

Thor softly calls his name and shakes him, trying to wake him. Frigga looks worried.

'Don't take him away.' The words come out slurred but clear enough.

The shivering becomes more prominent, it seems to be a bad nightmare. The blond can feel the panic seeping through the younger.

'Please, Father.'

With a scream Loki shoots up, panic evident on his face. Almost as sudden he falls back to the bed, clutching his chest, his features are contorted by pain. His breaths are ragged.

'Loki.' Thor doesn't dare to touch him. Frigga stands up and also hovers uncertain over him.

The new white bandages soak up the blood while Loki concentrates and directs his magic to heal at least a little of the damage caused by his sudden movement. He is still so weak. Through the hand pressed on his chest seeps still a little blood.  
Slowly his breathing calms and his face relaxes visibly. 'I am fine.'

Thor decides not to question Loki's unbelievable statement. The ravenette still had not explained why his talent in lying had suddenly ceased, but until it returns he would have to be careful. Instead he puts an arm around his lithe brother, comforting him through the remnants of the nightmare.

'Do you want to talk about it?', Thor asks, sure that Loki would turn down his offer as usual.

Loki shakes his head, but snuggles deeper into the embrace. He probably hasn't realized yet that they are not alone.

'Loki.'

Green eyes open abruptly, looking for the source of the disturbance. As soon as he lays eyes upon Frigga, Loki tries to escape Thor's arms.

'Mother.', he is not happy to see her, he even seems to be infuriated. Pain leaves his face and is replaced by irritation, disappointment and rage.

'I am sorry for earlier. I should have-'

'You should have nothing. It is what he thinks, what both of you think. Why shouldn't he voice what a disappointment I have always been?'

'You understood that wrong. Thor, could you please give us a moment?'

'Not necessary. I don't need any explanations.' His face hardens. 'In fact, it is best if you would both leave.' Loki can't throw his mother out alone, but somehow it sounds like he just looked for an excuse to throw Thor out as well.

'Loki, I just want to help you.', his mother tries to reason.

'I don't need help.' He outright glares at their mother.

'If this is about earlier..'

'You didn't see Father. You weren't there.', he interrupts. 'He was ripped from me because of my mistakes. Father won't hesitate for the blink of an eye to do that with- him.' The trickster bites his tongue. Thor can tell it had been a close call for his name to slip.

'It was just a dream, sweetheart.' She reaches out for his hand but he withdraws it immediately.

Not for Loki apparently. 'Leave me alone.'

'Shall I stay, brother?'

'No.' The cold voice can't possibly belong to his lover. Can it be that he is frightened again? Angry with himself? Angry with Thor for not believing him? Frigga stands up, motioning Thor to follow her, she knows a lost cause when she sees one. The blond carefully leaves the bed, Loki turns away immediately. The red tinge of his eyes is indicator enough for Thor.

In the doorway Thor makes sure that his mother is far enough away to not hear him, then turns to his lover.

'I love you, Loki.', Thor says, waiting for an answer he never gets. Loki remains with his back turned on him.

xXxXx

The door closes softly and Loki already wishes, Thor would be back. He hadn't meant to be so harsh to his brother, the ravenette had enjoyed resting in his arms and finding comfort in soothing words and gestures. Loki had looked forward spending the night in Thor's embrace, away from nightmares and accusing words, but this probably is going to be a long, lonely night.

The sun sets slowly but Loki is wide awake now, having slept almost the whole afternoon. In Thor's arms he surely would have found some rest. Maybe he could still call him back?

No, he has to be alone. His mother was too strong a reminder and this morning's talk is still too fresh on his mind. He can't let his brother see him in this state. Blood is still trickling out of his newly opened wounds and his breathing barely calms when he returns to lie on his back. How could he have been degraded from one of the most powerful sorcerers to this writhing mass? Loki had sworn himself to contain his pain, to not let it be seen, not realizing the extent of the damage that he must have suffered. His heart beats frantic. He can't let the blond stick around seeing him like this. How could Thor ever see him as attractive again when he spends time with this weak form of Loki? The ravenette can't even drink alone, let alone stand, not even properly cuddle with him. How could Thor still love him like this? Loki finds his weakness disgusting and doesn't want to give his brother the chance to discover that by himself.

Sometimes the trickster can't help it, he then tends to be mean and cold, especially when confronted with his weaknesses. He retreats to old patterns, builds walls where he shouldn't but can't stop it. He knows it's wrong to be mad at Thor but it is that much easier than deal with his inferiority. Furthermore, he hadn't dealt with his father's newest dejection, so trusting on never-wavering love isn't the easiest thing for him.

The next morning comes sooner than thought and with it some excess energy. With each following day he grows stronger again. Slowly he pushes himself out of the bed, walking doesn't seem to work without help at first, he had lost too much blood, his chest aches with every move and he is tired as soon as he wakes up again. Still he pushes himself, relentlessly, one step after the other, until he will be as good as new.

He is left alone most of the time because he wants that, even though Loki gets visited rather often by his mother and Thor, seldom at the same time. One time even Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg visit alone, checking on him and entertaining him a little, and one time Thor drags them along after training.

Loki never allows Thor to stay over night or to be present during any straining exercises he gives himself. His knees are still rather weak so he makes sure to sit up before anyone enters his room, he has lain enough. No one is supposed to see him that way anymore. Not even his magic responds the way it used to, it is still involved in the healing process. Constantly he uses it to heal faster and to move with seeming ease, to create illusions whenever he flinches or moves so it would go unnoticed how much it costs him, that is why Loki is almost always magic-drained and feels like sleeping several days. A visit to the library would brighten his spirits but the healers won't allow and if Loki is honest to himself, he wouldn't be able to walk the distance without help. And he hasn't sunken that low to ask anyone, especially not his brother.

It is somewhat difficult to keep his weakness away from Thor, he believes the blond sees it despite his efforts. It is almost unbearable when he fetches water for Loki when they are in the same room, with what ease his brother deems him helpless. Cold anger bubbles up in him whenever his brother tries to help him. He is supposed to be his lover, not someone Thor has to help.

And even though Loki doesn't really see his progress, his father seems to think he has regained enough strength after three weeks. Most of his wounds have subdued to a dull throb of pain and are mostly closed, the healers would still keep him in their halls for the next weeks before he would be allowed to return to his life.

'Your father has set a date for the trial.', his mother informs him.

He had been able to make amends with her, she waved it off, blamed his state and being hurt for his words, he blamed the bad dream for it. It had seemed far too real for a moment and he forgot that he can't blame the others for deeds they have not committed and which are not their fault.

'When is it?'

'In three days.'

Loki nods. Three days will have to suffice to perfect his walking again and get rid of the cane he had used to practice. It would certainly help his cause if he appears to be still severely injured but he would never suffer the ignominy of showing this kind of pain.

'I will be prepared.' Not just for the trial but also to face his father. He had visited twice, always seeming tense and about to say something but his mother would have none of it. Surely he would be able to voice his disapproval in all possible ways in the trial. But he can face the judgement, the questions and the victory over the arrogant woman and his father will be all the sweeter.

xXxXx

It is long dark outside when Thor makes his way through the corridors, just one destination in mind. This time of day surely all the healers would have finally left his brother alone for him to sleep. He reaches the door to the chamber without someone seeing him. But before he enters, Thor stops abruptly hearing the silver voice of his brother talking to someone. Intrigued he inches closer and makes out an additional male voice.

'Thank you for visiting. You didn't have to.' Even though muffled through the wooden door, Thor makes out Loki's statement. Apparently he wants to get the other person to leave but asks in a nice way.

'Of course I had to.' Thor imagines a wide smile gracing his face.

'It's too dangerous.' Loki goes back to being serious.

'Otherwise it wouldn't be fun. You taught me that.'

'Did I now?', he sighs. A small smile is tucked on his face, Thor can hear it even through the door. 'I didn't mean it like this.'

'I know. Still, I have to make sure you're well cared of here.'

'I appreciate it.'

As much as Thor tries, he can't remember the second voice, so he chooses to knock softly and enter. They sound far too familiar for his liking. A jealousy he can't explain occupies his whole thinking. Loki knows he is due. Does he want to throw the other male out so Thor won't see him? There is more to this than meets the eye. He trusts Loki implicitly but that trust doesn't extent to the other.

Thor rushes in and sees his worries confirmed. A blond stranger stands far too close to Loki for his liking, both men with smiles on their lips that die the moment the door hits the wall.

Loki's eyes widen almost imperceptible. 'You're early.', he says in his usual cool demeanor.

'Do I interrupt something?', Thor asks, a bit more grouchy than he intended.

'No, Thor.'

Thor eyes the stranger and recognizes him as the man who had visited Loki when he had still been unconscious.

'Prince Thor.'

The stranger bows slightly, Loki smiles in the background, clearly amused by his behavior. Thor scowls. The way he bows reminds him just too much of the mock-bow his brother would occasionally honor him with. It doesn't calm Thor that the stranger sounds so child-like, it sounds rather like a taunt.

'You were about to go.', Loki reminds the second blond, getting a little nervous.

'I'll come back later.'

'You won't.', Loki is strict. 'Not here.'

'Good luck for tomorrow.'

'Thanks.' The ravenette casts a glance to Thor, then ushers the other blond out of the door, a smile ghosting around his lips, and closes it behind him. The smile is too loving, too affectionate, it burns a hole in Thor's heart. Something guttural deep inside him growls 'Mine'.

'Hello.', Loki greets him casually after turning around.

'Who was that?' Thor doesn't waste time.

'A friend.', Loki replies far too smoothly.

'What is his name?'

'That is none of your interest.'

'It is, brother.'

Fury sparks in green eyes, a faint red colors the high cheekbones. 'What are you accusing me of?'

'Why don't you tell me who he is?'

'Why should I? What is he to you?'

'Anyone who shows that much interest in you is something to me. You're hiding him and I want to know why. You're never doing anything without a reason.'

'That is nothing to you, brother.' He spits out the last word.

'Why does he sneak around you?'

'Am I not worthy enough for the attentions of someone else?'

'Is he your lover?'

'Do you not trust me?', Loki asks, visibly paling.

'I don't trust him.', Thor growls.

'Why do you think I would cheat on you? Because I am the trickster, the Liesmith? Because I am unable to tell the truth?! Because it's that much simpler?' Loki grows agitated.

'Why don't you answer the question? Why are you evading?'

'Because you should know! Because you should trust me enough to not ask!'

'You're just thinking of yourself! He knows about us, doesn't he?Why did you tell him about us? Are you two having a good laugh behind my back? How trusting the stupid blond fool is?'

'You presumptuous idiot! You don't know anything!'

'You're never telling me anything!'

'Oh, I wonder why?', Loki yells sarcastic. 'You are just here to accuse me of things your simple mind makes up!'

'Answer me!'

'No! I would never do something like that! But that's not the point. You should know me better.'

'Then who is he?'

'I won't tell you.'

Thor groans. 'I demand to know who he is!'

'Stubborn foul. Why would I tell you? You don't believe me anyway. My word used to be enough for you.'

'It is.' Thor is taken by surprise.

'Then trust him, trust me to handle this. Or is it easier to believe in the lies they feed you? Is it easier to believe that I am unfaithful?'

Thor wishes he could. 'Do you trust me?'

'What a question is that?', Loki wants to know.

'Have I not proven worthy of your trust? Why do you still keep secrets from me?'

'You big oaf! Two centuries of trust don't make up for a millenia of ignorance! Where were you when I really needed you?! You will be gone like everyone else when it matters.'

Loki suddenly gasps and clutches his chest in pain. Agony and fury are clearly written all over his face. Thor forgets about their dispute almost instantly and wants to help his brother, who staggers back towards the wall.

'Loki, let me- '

'Don't touch me.', he pants. 'I don't need your help.'

'Don't be so unreasonable.'

Loki glares at him with glazed over eyes. Sweat is glistening on his face when he hisses: 'Get out of here.'

'Fine.', Thor growls back. The rational part of his mind knows he can't leave Loki back like this but the best part of him is fuming. Let the trickster figure out a way on his own when he doesn't want him. He certainly doesn't need Loki snarling at him. Thunder clashes outside and the rain is pouring down. Thor couldn't care less. Loki needs to see that he doesn't have to do everything alone, but Thor isn't going to stand in his way when he is too stubborn to accept help. Let the blond idiot help him, Loki likes him better anyway.

xXxXx

Loki is still in pain when he manages to maneuver himself back to the bed, though the physical pain is all-consuming, the betrayal he feels is much worse. Why had he lost his head like this? He is supposed to be the clever one in their relationship. Honey would have been a better choice than vinegar. But how could Thor possibly be so stupid? First he doubts his word concerning Sif and now this. Maybe it is time to grant his brother once more the freedom to doubt him as much as he wants. He has no intention to tell Thor about his 'friend', the blond would see this as further proof for his ridiculous assumptions and either set Loki a deadline or end their current relationship.

The ravenette closes his eyes when his heart starts aching, the cause not being the blade. Is he willing to risk their relationship over something so trivial? But what sense is there in maintaining it when Thor has lost faith in him? He shakes his head. Concentrating upon 'if's and 'when's isn't going to help him. He will talk with him if his brother is still willing to do so. And if not, there is nothing he can do now about it. Thor was far too agitated to talk rationally with him this evening. Furthermore, Loki needs to sleep soon, the night drips away fast.

It has been years since their last big fight but never before Loki had doubted like this that they would be able to make amends. Why can't he finally bring himself to tell Thor the truth? He knows Thor will accept it and everything would be fine again. But something is keeping him from doing it. What if love isn't enough to brush away three centuries of lies? Thor should trust him. Then again, Loki has done little to earn it, he sees it now. Can't the blond see that this isn't about just them?

Instead of trying to sleep though, he sits up again and faces the window and begins to meditate.

His mother enters the room far too soon, his magic hasn't replenished completely, the new damage has successfully prevented that. Fortunately one of the first things Loki had adjusted on this room had been to make it soundproof, so no word of his fight with Thor had been heard nor had anybody told their mother about it. When she entered he still had been in deep trance, trying to draw energy from the branches of Yggdrasil to get through the day. Sighing he ceases his efforts.

'How long have you been awake already?'

'Just one hour.', he lies. After a week the concoction in his blood had finally been low enough for Loki to comfortable lie again, he breathed a sigh of relief.

'You should get ready. I brought you breakfast.'

'Thank you.' Loki rises and even allows his mother to help him get ready. Especially with his green and gold armor he would have had his problems to get dressed alone. Frigga had protested when he announced he would honor the tradition to just stand in front of the king in his hall in his armor, saying it would be far too heavy for him to support it, but Loki would have none of it. And if it would cost him his last strength, he would not show any weaknesses. Though the weight lies heavy on his shoulders and presses on his lungs, Loki straightens his back and walks with Frigga through the corridors to the throne room. Odin has made this a private matter, just the most needed and trusted advisers and the involved persons and witnesses are to be present.

Loki casts an illusion around himself, banning his too pale complexion in favor of his usual demeanor, so Thor doesn't see the hurt in his eyes when he lays eyes upon the blond. Still he probably does notice the falter in his steps. What use has all of this when Thor hates him, thinks him unfaithful? Had he ever given him reason to? It isn't Loki who has slept with half of Asgard.

He almost doesn't listen when Odin opens the court. He can't even feel real hate towards the dark haired woman when Odin bids Sif forward to present her part of the story. She insists on it being an accident and Loki wanting to get revenge on her for something. If Loki would listen properly he would, against his will, congratulate her for being quite eloquent about accusing him of false accusations. Loki tells his part, not really paying too much attention on anything. He feels Thor's stare on him, his judgement, his confusion. The blond still hasn't made up his mind, even when Loki retells the fight, the rejection Sif probably had felt, the eyes that screamed murder. Mere jealousy wouldn't have made him step in, Thor should know that.

Odin lets his gaze sweep over them occasionally when other witnesses are called forward, supporting both sides of the story, none being able to either confirm nor decline.

Why is Thor even here? He had not seen what happened on the training grounds, for the fight Odin had summoned others to recount. Is Thor here to support him or Sif?

It feels like hours pass and the weight of the armor draws Loki down. He call literally feel his lungs tearing, regret for being so stubborn mixes with dread about what is to follow. He cares no longer for the result of this court if the next time he speaks to his lover might be the last. What use is it when his father believes him but his lover refuses?

The king draws back after everyone has said his share, then Loki lets his gaze drift to Thor whom Father had kept out completely. He is at a complete loss as to whom he should believe, if Loki is exaggerating or if Sif really snapped. Loki decides to not approach his brother yet, maybe he deserves a little uncertainty. A part of him waits for Thor to come and apologize for his behavior last night, but he knows his brother would sulk to his last day, being wrong-headed as he is.

A deep thumb notifies the audience of Odin's return. Silence settles quickly over them as everyone waits for the All-father to announce his verdict.

His voice echoes from the walls. 'I have reached my decision.'


	13. Chapter 12 Suspicion

Suspicion

 _I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief,  
because there will be so much to look forward to.  
Donnie Darko  
_

 _2 years prior..._  
It is really not fair. No one should be allowed to look that irresistible while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. And it definitely shouldn't be as arousing as it is to see him stretch his shoulders sitting on the edge of the bed. The bed sheet is pooling around his lithe hips, accentuating his pale skin. He should make his lover wear more often his color. It is something oddly stimulating seeing Loki dressed in red. Or at least partly covered by it.

'Like what you see?' A smirk is playing at the corner of Loki's mouth, having turned half around to him.

Thor blinks rapidly, being caught staring at the bare body in front of him. So he says the first thing that comes to his mind. 'Very much.'

Now the smirk is clearly visible on the handsome face. 'Glad that you still like this.'

Thor props up on one elbow. 'How could I ever not? You're the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on.'

Loki rolls his eyes but he can't wipe the small smile from his face. He stands up elegantly and grabs his tunic which lies on the floor.

'Where are you going?' Thor frowns.

'You asked me to stay until you awake. You're very much awake now, so, I'm on my way.'

'Wait, you just stayed because I still slept?' A small part of him is hurt.

Loki shrugs casually, then continues to pull the tunic over his head.

'You requested it.'

'I always ask you to stay.'

Loki rolls his eyes in earnest now. 'You know that that's too risky. Furthermore, I couldn't really deny you a wish on your birthday.'

'Stay. Look at it like a lengthy birthday present.' Thor's eyes shine with hope.

'Don't think that will always work.' Nevertheless Loki loses his shirt again, uncovering his perfect abdomen again, and climbs back over the sheets into Thor's waiting arms.

'Such a shame. Well, then I better use this time.' Thor doesn't hesitate long to bring their lips together.

Placing his hands on both sides of Loki's face, Thor hovers over him. 'I love you.'

'Not working this time, love.' Loki shoves Thor to the side and climbs on top of him, pressing his lips on Thor's.

'But it was my birthday.', Thor states and kisses Loki's nose as soon as lying on top again.

'Right. Was. Past tense.', the ravenette teases.

'Loki.', Thor forces him down again. Why can't he just give in one time? But he wouldn't be his beloved Loki if he would.

Loki smiles slightly. 'You always want to top, don't you?', he asks playfully. 'But today is my turn.' Loki grins down at him in a predatory fashion when rolling on top.

Thor laughs and rolls them further, using Loki's movement.

'No, Thor. Wait!' Loki's eyes widen.

The warning of his lover comes a moment too late. By the time Thor feels the edge of the bed on his forearm he can't stop the two of them from tumbling from the bed.

Loki groans loudly as he hits the floor a second before the blond follows, falling a little softer than his lover.

'Get off me, oaf.', Loki grumbles, glaring at Thor who is trying his best not to laugh. It is completely inappropriate and Loki will surely not come over for the next weeks, still the blond can't help it. Desperately he tries to keep the goofy grin from his face.

Loki's expression grows darker.

'Idiot.' Loki smacks him but Thor can tell, it is just playfully.

Finally the grin spreads fully on his face and Loki follows a moment later, laughing as good as he can with Thor still lying on him. The ravenette puts his arms around Thor's neck, and pulls him into a kiss.

'Shall we move this back to the bed?', Thor asks after breaking the kiss, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

'What's wrong with where we are?', Loki asks back, raising an eyebrow.

Thor dives back down, nibbling on Loki's neck which elicits a loud moan from the trickster. In almost no time hands are roaming again, mouths exploring, bodies moving.

'Thor?'

For a short moment the lovers freeze completely, trying to place the voice. A grin spreads on Loki's face, he presses a quick kiss on Thor's lips.

'See you later, love.', the silken voice says gleefully.

Then everything seems to happen at once. The door opens on the other side of the room as Loki vanishes grinning and unseen by their interrupter from under Thor. Without the support and still being a little perplexed, Thor falls the remaining distance to the ground.

The blond groans loudly, landing flat on the floor. Loki can be a real tease. Another blond rounds the bed and stands soon behind the prince who tries to stand up but being distracted by the pain from landing on his morning reaction.

'You alright, Thor?'

'Just fine.', Thor grunts.

'What are you doing on the floor?'; Fandral asks intrigued.

'Fell out of bed.', Thor says in lack of a better excuse. And it is no real lie in the end. 'You surprised me. Is there something you wanted?' He tries not to sound too impatient.

'Just wanted to check how you fared last night. Sorry, I had to go early.' He doesn't sound sorry at all.

'The maid was truly a beauty.' At least Thor would have thought so some years back.

'Yes.' Fandral sighs. 'I hope you didn't tumble into bed alone?' It comes out more like a question than a remark.

Of course not, is Thor's first instinct to answer. 'I think I had a little too much ale.' He had barely drank anything but his friend could not be certain. Thor finally manages to stand up and walks over to his wardrobe, snatching out the first thing that falls into his hands.

'You up for breakfast?' For him it is just another normal boring day. He can't know he just ruined Thor's chances for a nice morning, Thor tells himself. It makes no sense to take it out on him.

'Sure.' Thor tries to sound offhand.

Thor turns back and his eyes drift at once to the green tunic on the armchair, the very tunic Fandral had seen Loki in yesterday, the green is too characteristic for him not to recognize it. Exactly where it had landed when Loki had tossed it before returning to bed. Hopefully he hadn't spotted it yet. Loki must have forgotten about it in his hasty departure.

'Why don't you go on ahead? I'll join you in a minute.'

'No worries, I can wait.' Fandral looks out of the window.

Silently cursing the patience of his friend, Thor walks past him and tries to snatch the tunic unobtrusively on his way to the washing room.

'I can't remember you wearing that yesterday?'

Thor closes his eyes, praying silently to the Norns.

'I wore it under my armor.' Even from the distance Fandral should be able to make out, that the tunic would never fit him. He turns around to face his friend, keeping the tunic behind his back.

Fandral nods slowly, doubt and hurt clearly visible. 'Just tell me when you are ready.'

Thor leaves the room without another word.

xXxXx

'See you later, love.', Loki whispers before vanishing quickly, hoping the intruder had been too slow to see or hear him. The expression of confusion and exasperation on his lover's face had been priceless, like he intended on smashing whoever dared to interrupt his time with Loki.

A wide grin is still on his face when he reaches his rooms. A split second later Loki lands on the ground, having miscalculated the distance from the floor he dropped the remaining inches. It is just a little pang, but the memory that his lover probably fared far worse elicits a small laugh from Loki. Thor had sported a rather big issue, and he hadn't been fortunate enough to land on his back. It shouldn't be funny, but somehow it is quite satisfying and Thor's pride, that he just vanished, would be more hurt than he himself. Having annoyed his brother and having nothing more important to do, Loki stays on the floor until he calms down.

'That was close.', he says to himself, still chuckling. Too close for his liking but what is this world without a little chaos? Maybe it is in his nature, but life would be far too boring without a little mayhem. It is no secret between the brothers who of them prefers risky clandestine rendezvous. Loki only got himself to blame that their friends know of Thor's 'secret girlfriend'.

'What was close?'

His expression freezes at the sound of the female voice and his brain refuses to work properly. His head snaps in the direction of the voice. The source of it sits in an armchair near the door to his bedroom, looking equally surprised and confused.

'Mother.' He curses himself for sounding so unprepared and shocked, as if she had caught him planning one of his pranks. Rattling his brain what she could possibly want here, he stands up, remembering that he is still undressed. Feverishly he yanks a blanket from his bed and covers himself. Loki curses himself some more, if his clothes aren't here, they must be still at Thor's place. Hopefully the blundering idiot remembers to hide them from the other blond.

He uses the few seconds to regain control of his expression, it makes no sense to stare at her like a deer caught in the torchlight. She can't know, right?

'What are you doing here?', Loki asks, still sounding not as calm as he would like. His heart is hammering in his chest, he is slightly out of breath. Panic clashes in waves over his head.

'We wanted to meet here, half an hour ago.', Frigga states, observing Loki closely.

'Why?' It had not been supposed to sound so accusing.

'You promised to accompany me to Hardol.'

'Really? It must have slipped my mind.' Loki tries to cast an easy smile on his lips as he slips past her into the washing room.

'Where were you?', she asks through the door which Loki has shut close behind him.

'Me? Out.', Loki says far too quickly.

Why does he have to betray himself just now? This is his responsibility, he needs to keep a cool head.

A wide smile graces his face when he returns moments later, having used his magic to dress quickly and erase any traces of his nightly activities. More than once he had thanked the Norns for having been blessed with his magic abilities.

His mother looks distrusting at him.

'I am truly sorry I forgot our appointment.' He inclines his head slightly.

'No worries, we still have time.', she says when he pushes past her into his rooms.

'So? Where were you last night?' She won't drop this theme, he knows that for certain.

'I was out.', he answers truthfully.

'With anyone special?' A smile graces her face. Frigga knows he hadn't joined his brother's celebrations for too long.

'Mother, I would prefer not to discuss this with you.', he says as determinate as he can.

Frigga's smile grows. 'I am happy for you, sweetheart.'

'I do not know what you are talking about, Mother.' His hands rake through his black hair. It is longer than usual, going well past his shoulders, it starts to be annoying. Internally he shrugs, Thor seems to like it this way and feeling his strong hands clenching in it is worth this little inconvenience. Unconscious he summons a ribbon to tie his hair up in a small bun. The travel to Hardol would be demanding and tricky enough without his hair distracting him.

Reacting to the distressed look his mother is casting him now, he asks: 'What?'

'I have never seen you with your hair up.', she simply states.

Loki is going to blame his sleep deprivation for this new blunder. It certainly is not his fault that Thor had been insatiable yestereve and Loki can't sleep as soon as the sun is up.

'I am often wearing my hair like this.', he says, busying himself with packing a small bag with everything he deems necessary. At least when Thor is around, he thinks.

'For a special lady?'

Will she never give up? 'Mother.' Impatience swings in the two syllables. This is not going to end well. How could he just have made such a slip? Always he first checks if someone is in his rooms, that he leaves no traces at Thor's place, that no one suspects. If Loki would lose Thor just because of his own carelessness, he would make sure that Thor would get no punishment for their actions, whether or not the blond accepts this gift. Even though Loki would never forgive himself, at least Thor wouldn't suffer, wouldn't miss him, wouldn't remember. No one had suspected for the last two centuries, Loki had become too confident. Thor deserves better. Loki would have to be more careful again and insist on certain precautions. A thrill is good, danger isn't. Loki thinks about trotting out a farfetched lie, conjuring up a random female, a convenient tale to guide her in the wrong direction, but thinks better of it. He can't, she'd know something is off, and he doesn't want to lie unnecessarily to her.

'We can go if there is nothing you need to fetch.' He wants to leave his rooms as soon as possible. Who knows what else she would spot here.

'You still need some breakfast.'

'I am not very hungry.', Loki lies easily.

'The journey is long.', she reminds him. As if he wouldn't know.

She had planned this to distract him, knowing he surely wouldn't enjoy staying all night with Thor and his friends celebrating, with this offering him a reasonable excuse to vanish early. Why did his brain of all times had to choose this to forget an important appointment? And why does his mother look so suspicious at him?

Why hadn't he been more careful? But not for nothing he is called the Liesmith. Let her think he has a maiden to call his own. The silver tongue knows when to keep his mouth shut.

xXxXx

It is late when Thor returns to his chambers, the sun has already sunken behind the horizon in all its natural beauty. Fandral had behaved strange the whole day but Thor had been too afraid to ask him if he knows about Loki and him, already suspecting the answer. He needs to talk his friend out of this and he will need Loki's help. Maybe Thor's imagination is running wild, maybe he is just hurt Thor doesn't confide in him, but maybe they would have a real problem soon.

'Loki.' Worry makes his voice softer than usual.

His brother is sitting on his bed amidst red covers, knees drawn up to his chest, a heartbreaking expression on his face.

'What is it?' Thor crosses the room in wide steps, sitting down next to Loki. Before he has time to think of anything, Thor finds his lover in his arms, clinging onto him as if for dear life. What could have happened? It had been mere hours since he last saw the ravenette grinning at him. The tears in the green eyes shatter Thor's heart.

'I am so sorry. It is all my fault.', Loki finally chokes out.

'What, my love?' Thor feels utterly helpless.

He swallows hard. 'Mother saw me. I think she suspects.'

Thor closes his eyes. This can't happen, not now. 'Did she say something?'

'No.'

A sigh of relief leaves the blond. 'Loki, look at me. Do you really think she wouldn't have said anything if she suspected?' Loki shrugs, evading his gaze again.

'I still should be more careful. It's all my fault.'

Thor hugs him closely again and Loki buries his nose in Thor's nape. It makes no sense to try and calm him down right now. So Thor just rubs soothing circles on his back, waiting for the tears to cease.

'What was with Fandral?', Loki asks after a while, looking for another reason to blame himself for one free careless moment.

'Nothing, no need to worry, love.' He can't tell the ravenette, not just yet. Thor will figure out a way alone for now to deal with the other blond. His hands caresses Loki's cheek.

'I don't want to lose you.'

'You won't. I love you.'

Loki's eyes are still full of tears, as he replies: 'Love you too.'

Thor pulls him into a sweet kiss, seeking to convey all for which he can find no words.

'Everything will be fine, love. Do not worry.'

'I know. It's just..'

'I know.' Sometimes, it is just too much. Sometimes he wishes he wouldn't have fallen for Loki, everything would be much simpler. And Loki sees it as his personal responsibility to keep them hidden. It is not Thor who hides his presence. The ravenette fears the day someone would look through his spells he uses to protect them. Sometimes, the secrecy is just killing them, but Thor wouldn't give up what they have for anything. Loki would deserve to be loved openly. But not here, in Asgard they would never find the peace they so sorely need. Maybe someday Loki would agree that he is all Thor could ever need.

Maybe, someday, he could love Loki the way he deserves it.

xXxXx

 _Earlier the same day..._  
Frigga loves standing on the Bifrost bridge in the early hours of day when the city is still asleep, when the sun is about to rise, the stars slowly fade, but here on the edge of Asgard time seems to be frozen. Heimdall had been observing the route she intends to take with her youngest son today.

Apparently the guards had taken care of the raiders that were lurking on the edges waiting for unsuspecting passengers. That is another reason her husband had insisted on not visiting Hardol alone, she had barely been able to convince him that Loki would be enough protection for her. A lot of time has passed since she could teach him anything about magic. At least this way she can spend a little more time with her youngest. He had drawn back from not just her. Frigga cannot imagine what it has to be like, to feel different and not knowing the reason for it. Often they had argued about simply telling him, he is too smart to be fooled, he noticed early that he was not like all the others. But Frigga doubts even he can guess the extent of that truth. She would always love him like her own son, no matter where he was born or to whom.

'Where is Loki?' It is late enough for him to be already up, maybe they could begin their journey a little early.

Heimdall seems to think about it for a moment, then answers: 'In his rooms, my queen. He is sleeping.'

Maybe he had nevertheless stayed at Thor's little celebration. A loving smile spreads on her face. Even Loki needs sleep sometimes. 'How is Thor?'

Now the golden-clad guardian frowns as if trying to see through thick mist. 'Thor appears to be in his rooms as well.'

'Is there a problem?'

'No, my queen. It was just strange for a moment. I could not see him truly but now everything seems to be in order. It must have been a trick of the light. It happens, my queen.'

Heimdall is never wrong, so Thor had made it home again last night. There had been a time not too long past when Frigga would often wonder where her eldest spent his nights, fortunately he had grown out of that phase.

'Thank you.', she says smiling.

He bows slightly.

Frigga turns from the Bifrost towards the city and raises her blue hood again, climbing her horse and rides across the glistening rainbow bridge, sparkling under the feet of her steed, awakening along with the sun. Her cloak billows behind her in the ever present wind. In almost no time due to the early hour she reaches the palace again.

Softly she knocks on Loki's door after collecting everything she needs for the journey, which isn't much, they would hopefully return with what she needs before sundown, maybe even earlier. Given that Frigga hadn't expected an answer, she opens the door carefully and enters.

'Loki?', she says when opening his bedroom doors. Surely he wouldn't appreciate being woken by his mother, but it seems like back then, when he was a small child and would proclaim he needn't go to the halls of learning, it would be far too boring to bother.

His bed is made, there is not the slightest trace of him being here. Could he have stood up in the meantime? The door to the washing room stands wide open. She sits down in an armchair and decides to wait here for him. Their appointment is still an hour ahead, maybe he wants to use the time for something.

But the time passes and Loki doesn't show up. She decides against checking the library or the dining hall, when Loki doesn't want to be found, it is almost impossible to trace him.

Suddenly there is a faint trace of green smoke and with a thud Loki lands on the floor next to his bed. Worry and confusion mix in the queen as she sees her youngest, who obviously had not been sleeping here two hours ago, in a ragged state, a faint smirk on his face.

He apparently had been almost caught by someone and it takes not much deduction to know at what. She can't help but ask him about it though. Loki has to know she still wants him to tell her everything, but apparently the ravenette has other plans and evades her the whole day. But at least she gets a silent admittance that he had been seeing someone special. It does not keep her from asking him every now and then for specifics this day, knowing he would block but also hoping he would slip. Who can the mysterious person be who captured Loki's heart.

Long time Odin and she had been worried about Loki's apparent lack of interest in the other sex, not being sure if that is a Jotunn-specific they don't know about or if it just the introvert being of their son. According to Odin, even female Jotnar are masculine for Asgardian standards. She would not bother should Loki find women in general uninteresting and would decide for a male mate but fears her husband could disagree. That her son has finally found some interest in a maiden is still a relief, maybe she had been wrong and her son is just really secretive about his love life. Something tells Frigga though that tonight had not been a mere conquest for her son, not like Thor's occasional escapades. Otherwise the mischief-loving prince wouldn't have cared for a close encounter. Maybe she is married, maybe he thinks she doesn't like him enough, maybe her status is too low. Whatever the reason, he is unconcentrated and not too happy that Frigga found out. She lets him change the topic of their conversation but would every now and then ask again. Who is she?

There is still another question that burns on her mind. One she refuses to ask her son. How could Heimdall have been wrong? Loki had definitely not slept in his own bed this night. Could he hide himself from the guardian's gaze? And if yes, why is he hiding? Who is the maiden he is seeing? Is she the reason or is it just pure coincidence? Maybe he went to her after waking up even though Frigga seriously doubts that. Why is she doubting her son? Her head is swimming.

It is true, she had seen Loki often vanishing early, had often found his bed unoccupied at night, but had thought nothing of it.

Surely it had been purely coincidental that almost all those times Thor had been gone as well. It can't be. She would have to watch them more closely. It can't be. It mustn't.

xXxXxXx

 _Three weeks prior..._  
'It's not a woman.'

Frigga closes her eyes. Maybe it just isn't meant to be. It doesn't really matter to her, as long as Loki is happy, how can she judge his decisions?

'Loki..', her husband starts calmly but she can see his temper rising. Odin had been just as happy as she when he heard that his youngest might want to settle down. Happy, he wouldn't have to give up his secret just yet.

She can tell, he is about to tell him, now. Her son seems to be ashamed of his choice, ashamed to tell them and it isn't just tearing her heart apart. But Odin can't tell him now, Loki is too weak, Loki won't react good to the news that he was raised by practically strangers. Even though Odin might disapprove with the single fact that Loki sees a man, he blames himself partly for it. If they would have told Loki from the beginning, maybe things would have been different. He would have known what to expect.

'We should better go, Loki is still very sick. He needs his rest, his fever is still high.', she says quickly, trying to maneuver her husband out of the room before he says something he might regret. She gives Loki a quick kiss and reassures him before leaving the room behind Odin. Fortunately he had taken the not so subtle hint.

'This is outrageous!' She barely closed the door when Odin begins to rage.

A hard look from her side make him lower his voice. 'He is also my son. Why does he have to come after those brutes?'

The healing halls are empty, all the patients are still in their rooms, the healers on their morning visits. She just hopes Loki can't hear them. Even though, the hallways aren't exactly an option.

'They are no brutes. Loki is one of the most intelligent people of Asgard.'

'He is a prince, he should behave like one!' He takes a deep breath, trying to convince her that the rest of their people are nothing like him.

'You've done so much good for him.'

'And he should be grateful! But no. He is just another of that- that creatures.' He sighs heavily. 'He has to come after them.'

'He is still our son. Whatever makes him happy should be enough for us.'

'How can they still ruin our lives after all this time? That is an abomination! Nothing else!', he yells before adding in a hushed whisper: 'He is our son, not theirs.'

Carefully Frigga ushers him out of the healing halls, hoping to calm him enough so they would be able to make it to their quarters where there is less a chance to be overheard.

'You are not surprised.', Frigga states when they reach their rooms. He had been angry, but not entirely surprised like she would have expected.

'Not after.. everything.' Is she just imagining the little hesitation? 'I thought it was just a phase.' Odin has seldom kept secrets from her but she knows him well enough to not question the cryptic sentence.

'You still can't tell him now.'

Odin sighs, sitting down next to the empty crate. 'I know. I just wish this weight would be lifted from me.'

Frigga sits down next to him and squeezes his hand. 'I understand. It weighs heavy on me as well. But not now. He is too weak.'

Odin nods, turning his hand in her's to squeeze back lightly. 'He was strong, my queen. It costs more strength to tell a dreaded truth than fight a foe on the battlefield. He is stronger than I am.'

xXxXxXx

 **If you are watching Agents Of Shield: I just know Hardol as an old healer living in Asgard from the comics, I didn't intend on him being used already.** **Sorry for any confusion I might caused.**

 **Anyway, see you hopefully next week.**


	14. Chapter 13 Worse

Worse

 _I am here to defend the right to offend.  
Ayaan Hirsi Ali_

'I have reached a decision.' Odin's voice vibrates through the room and the few people present. 'This court will gather again in 6 days to resume the inquiries. The counsel must berate the information that was presented today. Today, I can not make the decision with the necessary precaution. Lady Sif, until this court comes together again, you are banished from the palace for the time being. I must take the accusation serious.' He eyes each of the opponents thoroughly as if to prove his point.

Sif nods rigid, the first real reaction she's made since the All-father had left the room.

Loki sighs, if because of relief or because of resignation, he doesn't care.

'The court is dismissed.', Odin announces dramatically. The few people present start to gather in groups to talk and slowly move towards the doors.

His mother approaches him after Odin has withdrawn himself. She looks slightly worried about Loki but altogether quite relieved that this is finally over for now.

'Shall I accompany you back to your room?'

'No.', Loki says distracted, looking over at Thor who avoids his stare. 'I first need to talk to Thor.'

Thor is already on his way out of the room, when Loki walks after him after shaking off his mother, trying not to flinch from the effort of catching up. The blond seems not to want to talk to him, he probably is still mad.

'Thor, can we talk?', Loki says rather formally after finally catching up.

'Sure, brother.' Somehow he suspects the blond just says that because there is no polite way to decline.

They are already near Thor's chambers so they quickly retreat there.

'What is it?' His impatience is evident.

'Are you happy now?', Loki says angrily after closing the door behind them. He hadn't meant to say that, hadn't expected to get angry about the tone of Thor's voice.

Thor furrows his brow. 'Why should I be happy?'

'About the outcome? Your precious Sif has more time to prove that I am nothing more than the lying revengeful weakling everyone thinks I am. You think that too, right?'

'Loki, brother. Heed your words.'

Loki can tell Thor is about to explode, he doesn't mind. 'I am right, am I not? Who did you hope would be proven right?'

'Loki, if this is again because of your petty jealousy..'

'If I react like that, you tell me to stop. So what right do you have to be jealous? I did not sleep with half the maidens and warriors of Asgard!'

Thor swallows back his immediate anger. It gives Loki a sense of satisfaction, Thor had always been sorry for his behavior back then. 'No, but you tricked half of them to believe whatever lies you feed them! No surprise that you didn't sleep with them, please don't pretend it was because you didn't want to!'

'So you exchanged the maidens just because you could? That's deep, Thor.' His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

'I did it because I loved you. But of course, you know nothing about love!', Thor yells.

'I thought I did.', Loki says quietly. Maybe he had been mistaken.

'No, Loki. I didn't-' Thor immediately backtracks.

'You didn't mean it?', Loki asks. 'You don't trust me. You show that with every action of yours, with every word. What have I done that made you despise me so much? What makes you think I do not love you equally?'

'You are ignorant towards the love I feel for you. I want to be there for you, want to help you, and all you do is push me away. You are a fool, brother, for questioning my motives. I am worried for you.'

'You have a funny way of showing that! Is this your try to end this? Your plan to rid yourself of me?', Loki hisses.

'It is you who acts like I think only the worst of you! Do you have no faith in us anymore?', Thor exclaims. As if it would be Loki's fault.

'Don't you dare blaming me now! You are the one doubting me. Ever since you realized I am not such a big, strong warrior like yourself. Go on, say it. I am weak, I am no longer worthy of your affections.'

'That is insane, Loki.', Thor insists.

'If you want me gone, fine.' Loki turns around and leaves the rooms before hastening down the hallways to the healing halls, falling in his bed without removing his armor.

The blond maybe doesn't know it, but Loki knows for sure. Thor finally woke up. He had promised he wouldn't but he did. Loki had always known that it must end one day. A single tear escapes his eyes. He had just hoped for more time.

xXxXx

Thor is frozen by shock. He stares at the closed door while the words of his brother still echo in his mind. Thor had hoped for an apology or at least an explanation for yesterday's fight, maybe a temporary peace-agreement to talk about the trial but this he would have never expected.

His brother has never lashed out like this. Maybe he is just looking for a reason to break up with Thor, a small voice in his head whispers. Loki apparently doesn't care anymore so why should Thor? Still, he loves his ravenette. May his stupid trusting heart be damned.

Deep in his heart Thor knows there is something else. The sandy haired man is what stands between them. Why can't his brother see reason and simply tell him who he is?

Slowly he calms down again and tries to occupy his mind with more pleasant thoughts, which isn't working at all.

The next morning comes gray and rainy, mirroring perfectly Thor's mood. He is used to the rain that often pours down when his emotions run high or his spirits are particularly low. His friends minus Sif already occupy their table in the dining hall, all three looking just as gloomy as Thor feels. After a short silent greeting, silence settles again. His friends want to talk about the trial, but Thor is unsure if he can without increasing the rain even more.

'It is somehow silent without Sif.', Volstagg remarks.

'It won't be too long until we wish she'd be silent again.', Fandral says smiling.

'Do you believe Loki?', Thor asks quietly, fearing the answer.

Hogun answers: 'I do not doubt that he would have thrown himself in Sif's line for any reason less.'

'Funny, I would have guessed if he truly saw that, he'd let Sif do the dirty work for him.', Volstagg jokes. Noticing the raised eyebrow of his crown-prince, the red-head shrugs. 'He had always ambitions to overtake you in the succession of the throne.'

'But not like that.', Fandral intervenes. 'I do not know what to think to be honest. I can't even imagine how it must be for you, standing in the middle.'

'Fortunately we don't have to make the decision.'

'I guess the All-father has already made up his mind.', Hogun says.

'I fear so as well.', Thor confesses. Sif's temporary banishment would be seen as enough penance because none of them would be able to prove their statements and the use of truth potions is unfortunately forbidden during an inquiry by laws older than any living Asgardian can remember. Odin had never been more tempted to ignore them than now.

Because he doesn't care if he broods alone in his chambers or together with his friends, Thor accompanies them to the grounds. Battle doesn't wait for good weather, neither would the warriors of Asgard. Still Thor's thoughts drift to the trickster, undoubtably plotting against himself.

What makes him think that? Is a relationship not founded on trust? The ravenette apparently doesn't place any trust in him. Thor asks himself, if there ever has been trust in their relationship or if they always had the silent agreement on not talking about the lack of it. He wishes he could still trust Loki like he used to in their childhood, he could always count on Loki to be there for him, to rely on him, to be relied on. What had changed? Where had they gone wrong?

Can he still continue to be with Loki if the ravenette won't make up his mind? He doubts Loki had ever been really open to him, not because he didn't want to, but because he still can't trust Thor after all this time. Years and decades he had seen Thor replace him with random meaningless maidens, it had hurt him deeper than he ever let on. The blond had hoped to make it up to him somewhen, having apparently failed spectacular if Loki's words spoken in fury are any lead.

He doesn't want the best part of his life end, not like this. But is love enough to overcome the distrust that has settled in Thor's heart, to overcome all the lies Loki tries to feed him? Can he betray all his ideals for Loki's sake? Ignore his secretiveness? He doesn't want to live a lie and he surely doesn't want Loki do that. The ravenette's words don't leave him though, how he had left without a reason.

Does a relationship still makes sense when Loki doesn't want him anymore? The question is burning on his mind, makes his hands shake during their training, chills him to his bones. Panic flows through him, panic at the thought of what the answer could be. The others notice his distracted state and offer to shorten the exercise, all being drenched in sweat and rainwater. Throughout the warming up next to a grate, the dinner and their quiet conversations, the question doesn't leave Thor for a moment. Does Loki still want him?

After what feels like hours, Thor takes his leave. It makes even less sense to brood about it. There is just one person who can answer that question.

Loki's door stands slighty ajar. Thor hesitates to enter, he had intended to speak to his brother alone, to discuss their stupid fight. It is nonsense to keep this longer going than necessary, he hopes his brother would finally see sense and for once talk to him.

Thor edges to the door and can see the bed from this angle. Loki is fast asleep. Never would he leave the door open, especially when he is sleeping.

'Come in.'

He is not questioning how their mother could have guessed he was standing in front of the door.

'I didn't mean to disturb you.', Thor says, opening the door fully. Frigga sits next to the window through which the last light of the day seeps into the small room. She places the tome she had been reading on the sill.

'I couldn't wake him. Loki slept not much these past nights.' Frigga regards him with worry.

'I would like to say I am surprised.' Sometimes his brother would spend several succeding nights in the library, soaking up every word the old books could offer him.

She smiles weakly. 'You fought again, didn't you?'

'Should I ask how you know?' Thor asks himself if Loki told her or if this is another proof of her sixth sense regarding their lifes.

'I know my sons.'

'We had a little- discussion after Father's decision.' Thor is still surprised about the postponement, he can't believe Odin hadn't already made up his mind. Sif's banishment is proof enough, otherwise he wouldn't have relieved her of her duties.

She sighs. 'That is all?'

'I am not angry that he accuses Sif.' Thor is surprised by the truth. 'We somehow fought before. It was about, well, everything.' Everything is quite fitting. It still strikes Thor as unusual how Loki had yelled at him.

'You two are so different.' That sums it up. Maybe they are just too different. His doubts surface again.

'I came to make amends but I doubt he wants to hear it.' Does he really want to make amends or has he come to end the farce? He shudders.

She stands up and caresses his cheek. 'Just be honest with him.'

'Loki wants me to trust him. But how can I when all he ever tells are halftruths? Why can't he, just for one time, simply tell what's on his mind and not keep half of it to himself?' It frustrates Thor immensely.

'He means not to hurt you, Thor.', she tries to defend Loki.

'I know that he is afraid of being hurt, however he should know I would never..' Thor sighs.

'Loki knows, I am sure, but we both also know him. He was never easy.'

'I just wish he would be honest once. I don't know if I can live with his lies much longer.', he confesses. His heart aches at the mere thought of that. Could he even end it? Deep in his heart he knows, he would be content even with Loki's lies as long as the ravenette is at his side.

'Tell him, you'll never know until you talk to him.'

'Why would he listen? I tried to confront him.' He blames the comfort of his mother for letting that slip.

'About what?', she asks, evidently curious.

'It matters not much. But he evaded and refused to tell me anything. Now he won't even speak to me anymore.' Which is just part of the truth, both are evading each other.

She sighs again. 'Trust him to tell you everything you have to know. He is your brother. Otherwise confront him again. He is too much like Odin, tries to deal with everything alone.'

'He doesn't have to. But it is tiresome to show him he doesn't need to. Sometimes I don't even want to make amends.'

She seems dismayed. 'It is of course your decision. Your brother need you however, now more than ever.'

'Do you know something I don't know?' Suspicion grows in Thor.

'Loki will need your support.' Slowly Thor begins to understand what Loki means by Mother's cryptic behavior she's shown lately.

'In the trial? Father will never decide against Loki.' That much both of them know. But he doesn't quite believe this is what she meant.

'Among other occasions.', she evades his question.

'I am no child.' Why can't she simply speak her mind? Frigga had been keeping at least as many secrets as Loki from him. Thor feels like his whole family is keeping him in the dark, like everyone is in but him.

'Really? You quite often behave like one.', Loki murmurs. He yawns and stretches. How much he had heard, Thor knows not. 'What are you doing here anyway?'

'Talking to Mother.', he lies. Mother furrows her brow.

'I see.' Loki raises an eyebrow. He has been caught lying but Thor tries to suppress the urge to let it show.

Minutes later the blond leaves the room, making excuses about it already being quite late. He would talk to Loki when his mother wouldn't interrupt.

xXxXx

He doesn't remember how it started or when it ended. Loki just knows there had been yelling, accusing and cursing when he had last seen his golden brother. Upon waking up and seeing Thor who had vanished the evening before without any explanation, Loki had somehow lost it. How he came here of all places, he doesn't know and he doesn't care enough to find out. The bar is seldom used by anyone he knows, it is dark and gloomy enough to keep out most costumers who don't value privacy. The liquor is burning away the pain that has befallen his limbs, though not the one in his heart. That matters not much because by now he is drunken enough to not care about that big blond oaf who totally not deserves him.

The reason of the renewed fight is long forgotten when another blond shock of hair catches his attention.

'Hello Loki.', he seems genuine surprised to see him here.

'Hello Fandral.' Loki slurs a bit.

'Are you drunk?' Fandral asks flabbergasted.

'I shall hope so.' Loki grins widely. He certainly had drunken enough to be so and spend more than enough on the attempt.

'Why?' Can't Fandral see? Loki always suspected that the blond already knows about Thor and him, not that there would be much to know about now. So does he really need to ask why Loki gets drunk?

'Other people seem to find a lot of consolation in drinking far too much. Can't say I didn't try.' He is a little disappointed it didn't work the way he wanted it.

'What do you need consolation for?' Fandral frowns. Don't pretend, Loki wants to tell him.

'Can't tell you. It's a secret.' Loki chimes, knocking back the rest of his drink.

'A maiden?'

Loki laughs. 'Haven't you heard, Fandral? I am no real man. My father despises it. Maybe that's why I did it?', he muses. 'That's good. I tell him, it's all his fault.' Exactly what that gray-bearded bastard deserves.

'So you are into men?' He not really understands the question. Not that Fandral wouldn't know that he occasionally flirted with the blond while pretending to be drunk. Well, maybe he didn't know he was just pretending, but Loki can't see the difference.

So he nods, and orders another drink. With far more delicacy than the clumsy rude blond prince ever could.

'Who is it?' Fandral also orders but eyes Loki's drink strangely.

'It's a secret. Are you not listening? You would be shocked.', Loki grins widely again.

'Maybe you should go home, Loki.'

The ravenette sticks out his tongue, then starts to laugh loudly. 'You're funny. Where should I go? My family hates me. Everyone does.', he says grinning. He wouldn't be surprised if Fandral would feel the same about him.

Silence settles in which Loki has another drink. Or had it been two? He doesn't care and knows no one else does.

'Why doesn't he love me?', he asks no one in particular. Despair sweeps quickly through his body before being replaced by the pleasant numbness again.

'Come on, stand up.' Fandral stands up first, puts several coins on the counter and waits for Loki to do the same.

'Where are we going?', Loki asks with big eyes. He had been keen on continuing trying to get drunk enough to find consolation. Company hadn't been part of the plan.

'Surprise.'

It is a sure sign for just how intoxicated Loki got in the short time he spend here, that he merely shrugs, empties his glass and follows the blond. Not even the ravenette could explain the grin on his face or why he had the strong urge to laugh just about everything his friend says, he simply wants to forget about their fight, the possible ending of the best part of his life, everything he can't deal with at the moment. His vision is blackening around the edges, if it wouldn't be for his companion, Loki surely would have landed on the floor a few times more during his stumbling through the deserted streets of Asgard.

xXxXx

The feeling that something is wrong doesn't leave the thunder god the whole day. Ever since the stupid continuation of his dispute with his lover the feeling had been nagging at him. He is angry with himself for even responding to Loki's taunting words. Too well he knows the pride of Loki, knows how hurt he is, and still he had lashed out when the anger grew, when Loki's words rang true.

Thor regrets what he has said in his fury, he hadn't meant it, yet Loki refuses to hear his apologies. Whatever Thor had said must have hurt the unfathomable trickster more than he would admit. Maybe the whole thing about the strange blond really is just in Thor's head and Loki refuses because it grieves him how little trust Thor has.

It is late in the evening when Thor decides to drink away his worries and sorrows, that he realizes why he worries about Loki. He is still sick and had been in one of his rare drinking moods when Thor left him alone. Thor could never forgive himself if something were to happen to his brother.

On the opposite to him Loki doesn't have his usual drinking spots but Thor is sure it is useless to search near the palace. Loki would get as far away from here as he can, so no one would find him should Mother notice his absence. After hastening to Loki's room and making sure he truly is gone, Thor makes his way towards the city. Where he should start looking, he has no idea. Finally he has an idea.

'Hello.', Thor says quietly, after the door is opened.

'Hello, Thor. Good that you came.' Fandral motions him in. He looks very relieved.

Thor frowns but enters the apartment.

'How do you know he is here?', the other blond asks, leading the way to the parlor.

'Who?' Thor gets more and more confused.

Fandral turns around, and is surprised. 'Loki. Who else? Or why are you here?'

'I was looking for him, hoping you would help me. I didn't know he was here.', Thor confesses. What could his brother possibly do here? This is not the right time for jealousy, Thor tells himself. Loki hasn't fallen for Fandral, he just pretends every now and then for the sake of safekeeping.

'He was drinking with.. Let's call them unsavory characters.' That coming from Fandral who is known to linger around the darkest bars of Asgard, shocks Thor.

'What happened?'

'I brought him here so he wouldn't regret doing anything or say anything in public.' Fandral hesitates. 'Him being drunk in the healing halls was no better prospect.'

Thor nods. Just too well he knows his brother's drunk behavior when everything is funny and absolutely nothing important. In his life he had seen Loki drunk only a couple of times, he knows he isn't responding too well to alcohol, the reason why Loki mostly suppresses his drinking moods.

When he enters the room completely he already sees Loki lying on the ground, a giggling mass. He is possessively clutching an empty bottle which he lets fall the second he recognizes Thor.

'Hello, brother.', he slurs with a manic grin on his face.

'What are you doing here?', Thor asks softly though he can't keep the accusation out of his voice.

'Do you hate me?' The grin dies on Loki's face. 'You hate me.' The worlds seem to end for him.

Thor curses his luck. Of course tonight has to be the exception of Loki's fun escapades. He must have been brooding while drinking. Does he regret his hasty words?

'Where did you find him?' Thor turns back to Fandral.

'In the outskirts. Not a good place to be alone.' Thor can almost picture the scene. His brother wanting to coop with everything alone, being too proud to say the magic three little words with which Thor would be entirely his again, trying to erase the emptiness both are feeling each time they fight.

'Thor, please don't ignore me.', Loki whines, trying to stand up and catch Thor's attention.

'You know why he he was there?', Thor inquires, keeping an eye on Loki. The bottle had rolled out of his reach.

'He said something about his lover.' Fandral shrugs. 'You know more?'

'A little.', Thor states evasive.

'You two were fighting again, weren't you?' His friend had always been too perceptive.

Thor sighs. 'A little. He is disappointed I didn't quite believe him about Sif.'

'Thor.' Loki has managed to sit up, staring with big eyes up at him. 'I am sorry.' There they are. Those three words his brother would never utter while not being drunk. 'Don't hate me.'

Fandral frowns. 'He really must be drunk.'

Thor nods. 'Thanks for finding him.' He shudders when he thinks about Loki straying through the city alone.  
'That's what friends are there for.' The other blond shrugs it off.

Thor casts an unsure glance towards the blond. Somehow he can't help but wonder what Loki might have said and what he really knows about the brothers. Finally he turns to Loki who had inched closer.

'We should go, Loki. You're drunk.' In the morning, he promises Loki silently, he would be more patient and insist on a calm conversation. That is the least Loki owes him.

'Thor. Please don't hate me.' He makes doe-eyes. 'I love you.'

'I love you too, brother.', Thor quickly says and suppresses the loving smile. Hopefully Loki would remain silent for the sake of their relationship. Fandral looks surprised at him, apparently Loki hadn't been that emotional before. It is still good to hear from the trickster that he loves him despite everything.

Loki vehemently shakes his head. 'No.' Either he doesn't believe him or he protests against the usage of the word 'brother', Thor doesn't know. The ravenette seems to forget about their company.

'Come here, Loki. You should go to bed.' Thor picks him up bridal-style. In this state he wouldn't be able to walk, furthermore, carrying him like this Thor makes sure Loki can't try too much.

'Not tired.' Loki says though he makes no attempt to escape Thor's arms. 'Don't leave.', he mumbles against his neck, cuddling into his arms. His hopes sink that their friend wouldn't notice.

'I won't.', Thor whispers back, to calm Loki.

'We will talk about this in the morning.', he adds, turning back to his friend. Fandral nods, letting them pass. Thor can only guess what the other blond knows or assumes but thinks it is way too much. Fandral knows he is angry with him for not bringing Loki straight back, however, can he guess the true reason for it? The way Loki noses his neck definitely isn't helping.

'Good night.', Fandral says quietly to Thor.

'Night, Fandral.', Loki chimes in. Thor shakes his head and leaves. That his brother tries to press kisses on his throat doesn't make the way home through Asgard's vast and mostly empty streets more pleasant.

xXxXx

Loki wakes from the light boring into his head. The pain in his head increases with further movement. Last night is more a blur than a memory. Groaning he shifts his weight and discovers that he is not alone in the surprising soft bed.

'What happened?', he grunts.

'You don't remember?', Thor's dark voice answers, making his head throb. After a short recount of the past night Loki rubs his hands over his face, trying to get a grip on the dull pain.

'You almost blew our cover.' Now there are definitely traces of fury in his voice.

'I know.' He remembers. Slowly Loki sits up to escape Thor's embrace.

'How could you be so reckless?', Thor demands angrily.

'Stop yelling.', Loki growls. His head feels like splintering.

'So, you go out and get drunk, almost tell Fandral about us and I shall be merciful because of your headache?' Sarcasm doesn't suit the blond but Loki's head is about to explode so he remains silent.

'Loki!' Thor truly exaggerates this.

'What?!', he snarls back.

'You risked everything!'

'I drank a little. Nothing you wouldn't do six times a week.' The little magic that is still under his command he uses to fight the worst pain.

'A little? You were a giggling mess on the floor! Basically you already told Fandral about us.' The blond talks himself into a rage.

'I am sorry, there was no intend behind it.' The blond completely overexaggerates the situation. 'And don't pretend it wasn't your fault. Everything was fine until you showed up.', Loki states.

Thor's eyebrows rise disbelieving. 'Until I-?'

'Why were you there anyway? If you didn't notice, I am no child anymore. I am not depended on your assistance.'

'I could see that.', Thor snaps back.

'Oh, you just love to pretend I am the only one who makes mistakes!' Loki climbs out of Thor's bed. He can't lie there next to him and listen to this.

'Well, right now you are overreacting! I am trying to understand you, Loki.'

'Are you now? That is fascinating.' Sarcasm taints his voice.

'You're never telling me anything.', Thor accuses. It might be true but right now Loki would rather drop dead than admit that.

'I am telling you more than anyone else.' With one exception, not that he would tell Thor.

'Than tell me who that man was!' A trace of despair is in his voice. This must be important for him.

'That is none of your business, idiot.', he hisses.

'It is like I personally offend you with it. Why won't you tell me? What is so bad you think I can't handle?' If Thor would just know.

'Why do you assume it is bad? Because everything I do is?' It is not bad, it is worse. Still Loki can't help but feel attacked and judged.

'Brother-' Thor wants to calm him, Loki doesn't want to calm down.

'No. No 'brother'. Just stop that farce.'

'You are lashing out without a reason.' Thor seems almost lost for words. 'You know what I mean. I feel like I don't even know you anymore.' It's a slap in the face.

'If you want this to end, you can have it. I have had enough. We're through!' Loki glares down at Thor, then turns around with determination. Tears brim in his eyes. Is he running away?, Loki asks himself.

'Where did that come from? Loki, wait.' Thor is hurt, Loki hears him rising quickly.

'You are not going anywhere.' Thor block the doors by easily overtaking him on his way to them.

'Let me go.' He just wants to get out of this living nightmare. Can't Thor just go away?

'No. First you are going to tell me what is wrong. You're running away, you're blocking me out. Do you want me to hate you?', Thor asks agitated, desperately trying to understand Loki.

It would be for the best. Thor grabs his upper arms when Loki attempts to push past him. He has to keep his face, he has said what he long feared. Thor must hate him, but he has to let him go. He can't let him continue a relationship he doesn't believe in. Loki nevertheless damns his stupid temper. But he can't keep Thor longer imprisoned.

Thor shoves him to the bed and forces him to sit.

'Do you remember your promise?' Blue eyes blaze in the soft morning light.

'Yes.', Loki whispers. He had promised years back to never lie to Thor when they are in bed.

'Do you want to end this?'

Loki hesitates only a split second but doesn't look at Thor. 'No.'

'Why do you say it then?' Thor furrows his brow.

He swallows. 'Because that's what you want.' Because Thor deserves better.

'I don't want that. I love you, Loki. I want to..' Thor sighs. 'Do you trust me?'

'Yes. Do you trust me?' Loki finally dares eye contact again.

'I do.', Thor says with more conviction than Loki would have deemed possible. With what does he deserves this?

'I am sorry, Thor.' He sniffles. Thor's arm draws him close, comforting him without words. 'I didn't mean to push you away so far.' He wills the tears away and sits up on his own.

'Are you going to tell me about him?', Thor asks softly.

'No.', Loki answers determinate. Can't he just let it rest? This has nothing to do with them.

Thor's face hardens, anger crosses his features and he stands up.

'Thor.' Loki stands up and grabs his wrist when Thor turns away to go. He cannot risk what Thor offered him when his love is being sincere and forgiving like this. Maybe it is time for his last resort. 'Let me explain.'

Thor takes a deep breath, then nods once.

'I am not free to tell you. I promised to protect him, with my life if necessary. And I will. I made a promise never to talk about him, and though I am willing to break it for you, I must keep it for him. His life would be in mortal danger when his name ever comes to the attention of the wrong people.'

'Why didn't you tell me before?' He is genuine surprised and relieved.

Loki sighs and looks over Thor's shoulder. 'I love you and I never planned for you to be part of this. It hurt me to hear you don't trust me.', he forces out.

'I am sorry, Loki. It is just.. I was jealous, I assume.' Thor sighs and pulls Loki into an embrace. 'I don't like to see you with anyone who'd endanger this.'

Loki laughs softly. 'He could never endanger us. No one could.'

Thor smiles a little. 'Can we just, I don't know, forget about all this?'

Loki nods and kisses him. 'Sounds like a good idea. How about reconciliation sex?', the ravenette grins.

He laughs, pressing his lips against Loki's. 'When you feel well again.'

'Listen, I-' He is sorry for treating the blond so ungrateful. For yelling when he should have explained. For being proud when he should have been understanding.

'It is alright.' Thor smiles loving. 'I know.'

The blond certainly knows him too well. He shouldn't have been so distrusting.

After Thor brought him back to the healing halls and kissed him good night despite the time of day so he could sleep through the effects of last night, Loki lies awake alone in the chamber, the light of the sun seeping in through the closed curtains.

It hurts to lie to Thor, but he would never betray the trust placed in him. He has no intention cheating on Thor, and in the end, he can't tell Thor about the other blond without endangering everything. Hopefully now his lover would finally cease asking.

xXxXx

'Are you going to tell him?'

Night has fallen over the realm eternal. The sandy haired man approaches the brooding ravenette.

'No, little one.' Loki lets his gaze wander over the bright outline of the city beneath them. 'How could I?'

 **xXxXxXx**

 **Hello and thanks for reading.**

 **Shocking revelation or was the last part too hidden? Sorry if it was, well we have plenty of time to find out all there is to know about our favorite stranger. And don't you worry, it will probably not be the ultimate end of their fight. (Unfortunately.)**

 **Next week there will be one more regular update but the week after that (it should be the 29th of October) there will either be no update at all for one week or a postponed one cause I probably won't be able to write anything. I am sorry in advance.**

 **Have a nice week(end), see you next Saturday. And maybe leave a review on your way out? Please? :)**


	15. Chapter 14 The End

The End

 _A boy's best friend is his mother.  
Psycho, 1960_

The knock on the door comes far too soon. It must be nearly afternoon but Loki's escapades of the evening prior let him forget about that fact easily.

Frigga enters the small room and goes straight for the window, opening the curtains to let the room be filled by the far too bright sunlight.

'You slept enough.' Of course she knows and disapproves. He had left in the early evening, she must have noticed he was gone.

'Good morning to you too.' Loki rubs his eyes which are stinging.

'What were you thinking?' She is quite agitated.

'I am a grown up man. When I don't stay here, it is no crime.', Loki tries to justify himself. 'I am not confided to this rooms.'

She sighs. Loki crawls out of bed and leaves for the washing room to get ready for the day and give his mother time to calm. The reflection in the mirror looks everything but happy or awake for that matter.

'Odin-', she starts when he reenters the room.

Loki huffs. So that is why she wanted to visit him last night. 'I don't want to hear it.' He doesn't think he can handle that conversation right now. His head still throbs.

Frigga heaves a sigh, 'We have to talk about this somewhen.' Ever since his father's quick exit he had blocked every conversation attempt of Frigga of this theme.

'That will not be necessary. Father spoke his mind.', Loki says solemnly.

'He is sorry, Loki. Please listen.'

'Mother. We both know what he thinks about people like me. Why would he think any different just because it is me?' Same-sex relationships are not the norm and especially the older Asgardians still frown upon them, yet Odin had always despised everything away from the norm and probably would have forbidden this as well if he could. That his already hated son now not only approves of this but also lives in one wouldn't change any of his feelings.

'You're our son. He loves you.', she reasons.

'Still, I've always been a disappointment.' He can't look into her eyes.

'You weren't. You aren't.', she corrects herself. 'Sometimes your father is a little strict.'

Loki huffs. He had never supported him.

'But he just wants the best for you. As I do.' Frigga takes the seat next to him on the bed.

'So you claim on his behalf.' Loki glares sideways at her. She always tried to justify his actions to Loki.

'He wants to talk to you himself. There are so many things we have to talk about.' She touches his arm lightly.

'I don't want to hear excuses, Mother.' He had heard more than enough for a lifetime.

A sad smile flickers over her face. 'You are more like him than you know.'

'I do not hate my own children, do I?', he accuses.

'He doesn't hate you because of your choices, sweetheart.' Sadness lingers in her gaze. 'There is nothing wrong with your preferences. We were just- shocked. You never told us.'

As if Odin wouldn't have known. 'See how he reacted. Furthermore you never had to know.' Loki can't hold it any longer. 'Why did you have to tell him?'

'Because we are your parents. We love you.'

'Who I see is none of your business. And not for you to judge.', he says with more compassion than he feels.

Frigga turns further towards him. 'We don't judge. Your father..'

'Hates me.', he finishes her sentence. 'And you know it. I was never good enough for him.'

'Don't think that. He just.. he needs some time to get used to this. We could never hate you. No matter your actions.' She wants to force him to believe.

'Don't pretend. Do you think I wouldn't notice his glares each time he sees me?' Odin thinks Loki personally responsible for the situation. 'How he refuses to speak to me?'

'There is so much you don't know. He has a lot on his mind.' Excuses are all she ever serves up for her husband.

'Yes, if I am guilty or not. He believes Sif more than me.' Everyone does. His reputation unfortunately precedes him.

'That is not true, sweetheart. But he had to be unbiased. This has nothing to do with your friend.'

'It has everything to do with him. He would make that as punishable as incest if he would be allowed. The counsel is the only thing standing in his way.'

'Loki, don't be so hard on him. He just wants the best for you.' Can she truly be so blind? 'Your father is just afraid this will drive you away from us. We don't want to lose you, you're our son.'

'If something is driving me away, it is him.', Loki growls.

'Odin was raised in an old world. Give him some time.' He had had enough time already. 'He will accept this soon enough.'

Loki remains silent.

'I still would like to meet him if you agree.' She smiles ever so slightly.

Loki shakes his head and crosses his arms. 'Not now.'

'I understand.' She really looks sorry. 'But believe me, I am happy for you.' He has a hard time believing that.

'I am not mad at you. I appreciate your support.', he says far too civil. He can see the hurt plain in her eyes, she'd prefer him to rage rather than fence himself in.

'Thor is on your side as well. He had a- talk with your father.' This amuses her. Apparently Thor had thrown one of his temper tantrums.

But he needs to keep their cover, so laughing would be counterproductive. 'You don't have to talk him into liking me.'

'No one is talking anyone into liking anything. Odin loves you like his son.' She looks like she said too much.

'I am his son.', Loki reminds her. 'Maybe someone should tell him of that though.', he points out.

'Loki, just give him a chance.' Loki questions that she knows what she is asking of him.

'It is true. Whenever he looks at me lately he seems to expect me to turn into a monster. If he wants to make amends it should be him to tell me why he always favored Thor.'

'Just give him a chance to explain, sweetheart.'

He knows he shouldn't, he will just be disappointed again. 'If he comes, I will listen. More I can't promise.', Loki says through gritted teeth, giving in.

'That is all I ask for.' Frigga breathes a sigh of relief. 'I hate it when there is bad blood in the family.'

'I still doubt he will come.', Loki insists.

'Have faith. Maybe he'll surprise you. But always remember, we will always be your family.' She looks straight into his eyes, willing him to understand.

He frowns but finally nods.

'Did you and Thor reconcile?', she changes the subject.

'How do you know?'

'Thor told me.' Of course he did. Loki sighs internal. 'It is not good that you always fight.'

'We don't fight so often.' Which surprisingly is true, and they even fight less in public. For their mother though not talking to each other counts as arguing as well.

'Still. I would wish for you two to have a better relationship.' She looks sad again. 'I have the feeling you're not doing anything together anymore. You used to be inseparable.'

'Well, we don't have too much in common anymore.' He hopes she would finally drop this.

'I see that it is not good for either of you. Thor also wants to spend more time with you.' Yet it can't be, at least not to the extent they both would wish for.

'He told you that?' That much cleverness he wouldn't have given him credit for. A plan begins to form in Loki's head. Maybe, just maybe, this could be the excuse to spend some more time alone with Thor.

'You know how much you mean to each other.'

On the opposite to you, Loki thinks. He sighs. 'Our fight was rather- intense.'

'He just wants you to be open, to be honest to him. To not shut him out. We're your family. You don't have to protect yourself from us. We want to make you feel safe.' She caresses his cheek. She uses the word family rather often today as if fearing it might turn out to be not true, Loki notes.

'I don't know if I can fix this with Thor.', he admits. Though the blond had stated he wants to forget about this, Loki doubts he will. The ravenette can't even begin to evaluate just how much he had destroyed with his anger.

'What was it about?', she asks. Frigga is the only one still truly caring about him sometimes.

Loki huffs. 'About nothing, or everything. It started small. He didn't believe me.'

'About Sif?'

He hums indefinite. 'It hurts to be not trusted. I thought I wouldn't care.' But unfortunately he does. How can it be so easy to be hated by most of the people of Asgard but so hard when it suddenly is a single special person?

'Of course you care, sweetheart. You two were always closer than brothers. You should talk to him and try to make this right.'

'I don't believe it is that easy. Thor offered reconciliation.'

'But?'

'Mother, why would he care?' Tears sting in his eyes. He really doesn't want to talk about Thor or even think about him, not about what will happen when he sees through Loki's lies or what will be if he doesn't. Since this morning he hadn't spoken to him after their current peace treaty. Why should he care? Thor will be better off if Loki would have made it to the door first, without Loki dragging him down.

'Don't say that. He loves you.' When had love ever been enough?

'Maybe he did once. But not after-'

'After?', she prompts.

Taking a deep breath he says: 'I might have been drunk yestereve and have said some things.' He closes his eyes tightly. 'Said some things I probably shouldn't have said.' He almost broke up with Thor, he certainly wouldn't forget that so easily.

'I am sure it is not as bad as you think.'

'Worse. I basically told him to vanish from my life. I took it back, still, I said it.'

'He knows you didn't mean it.', she comforts him.

'No.' Unfortunately he believed Loki, if only for a second. He didn't even doubt his words until making him say the truth.

'Talk to him. Not everything is lost.'

'I don't know.' Thor had by now had time to think about all of this and isn't blinded by emotions anymore.

'Don't let your pride stand in your way. It isn't always about being right.' She looks to the window and stands up. 'Listen, I got to go. I'll be back tomorrow. You should sleep a little.'

Loki nods. He'd agree to everything by now just to be alone. His head wants to burst.

'Then we will talk about you ignoring instructions.' She eyes him strictly.

'I can go out whenever I want.', he pouts.

She kisses his forehead. 'Behave. Do me that favor, will you?'

'Sure, Mother.', he sighs.

Frigga has that small sad smile tucked on her face before she leaves. Loki's paranoia doesn't have to look long for the reason why. She suspects. She wouldn't have questioned him about his love life and Thor if she wouldn't suspect. Maybe it would have been for the best to end things with Thor now. Loki shakes his head, this thoughts are wrong and he knows. So why do they keep coming back?

How could he have been so stupid to treat his love like that? Though Thor deserves better, Loki can't break his heart just because of his own insecurities, Loki can't continue to act for him. All he can do is to try to be a better person for the blond so that he might be worthy of him someday. That much he owns Thor after all they have been through.

They would have to speak about this as soon as possible but Loki decides that he would give Thor some time to think about everything. Tomorrow would be soon enough. He doesn't touch his meals, not feeling particular hungry, he still fights the remnants of his hang-over. The sun is slowly dipping west.

The door opens a sliver and a shock of blond hair comes into view.

'Knock, knock. Can I come in?', Fandral asks smiling.

Loki shrugs and puts the book he had been reading to distract himself, away. 'Sure.'

'How are you?' He comes in.

'Better, I guess.' Loki sighs. Better get this over with. 'I must ask for your forgiveness for yesterday. It was inappropriate. I hope I wasn't too bothersome.'

Fandral chuckles. 'You were quite fun actually.'

He huffs. 'I highly doubt that.' He knows how moody he gets when being drunk.

'No, no. You were really amusing.'

'What did I say?', he tries to veil his true interest. Thor had not heard everything and Loki fears he might have spoken his mind.

'Not much. You were mostly laughing.' Fandral's eyes twinkle with merriment.

Resisting the urge to hide his face, he lets his gaze wander away from the blond. 'I am sorry.' Loki hopes that is truly all he said. He could still kill himself for making a slip like that. Remembering the last time being drunk like that, he should be thankful that his friend had found him. How could he end up in a bar of all places? The stupid idea had seemed so tempting yesterday, just like it seems foolish today. Loki wanted to forget for an hour or two all about the impending threat of having spend his last minutes with Thor, not caring about any consequences which almost resulted in disaster.

'It is okay. You still want to talk about your reason? Maybe now, if I give you an advise, you'll remember.' He grins.

Loki gives him a little smile. 'No, no need for that. I'm fine.' He hopes at least.

'Everyone needs to talk sometimes.'

'I had a big, tedious talk with Mother.'

Fandral chuckles. 'Well then. Care for some company?'

'Thanks.' He nods.

'It'll be fine.' He claps Loki's shoulder, then looks over to the door before reaching into his pocket. 'Here.'

'What's that?' Loki eyes the little brown bottle suspiciously.

'You're not the only one with magical potions.' He winks. 'You drank pretty much. Bottoms up. You'll feel better.' He hands him the vial.

'Thanks. How come you know about herb lore?' He smells at the potion, recognizing it. He had sometimes brewed it for his brother after a particularly harsh night of drinking. It's not easy to concoct.

'Sometimes I too payed attention in the learning halls.' Fandral pretends to be offended.

'I find that hard to believe.', Loki teases.

'Alright. I once courted one of the healers.'

'Do tell.' They spend a comfortable late afternoon in lazy conversation reminiscing in old times and fond memories, the evening is reserved for someone else.

xXxXx

The sweet good night kiss for Loki reminds Thor again of last night and with the memory returns the cold fury he had felt for his friend for letting this happen. Angry he stomps through the streets, retracing the steps he had taken just some hours past. Thor hammers against the door.

'I'd like a word.' He barely veils his anger when Fandral finally opens the door.

'Sure, come in.' Fandral apparently notices his glare and mentions him to the parlor. At least he has sense enough to look uncomfortable.

'What were you thinking?', Thor starts abruptly upon turning around to his friend.

'I am sorry about yesterday.', Fandral starts.

'Sorry? What did you do? Getting Loki drunk, do you think that is funny?', Thor has problems keeping his voice low.

'I..'

'He's still in the heeling halls, still recovering! How can you be so irresponsible?' He expected more from the other blond.

'I just found him. He was already drunk.', he justifies himself. That does nothing for Thor's temper.

'Then why didn't you bring him back to the palace? No, you brought him here and gave him even more to drink!', Thor accuses. Fandral looks away.

'I am sorry. That was not the wisest decision.' He is far too civil for Thor's liking.

'You could have called for me, sent for me, anything. I would have come immediately.'

Brown eyes stare into blue ones. 'Thor, calm down.' His voice is as hard as his eyes.

Thor chooses to ignore that. 'Why would I? You endangered my brother.'

'Do you want to know the truth? I am not sorry. I wanted to support him.' Fandral gets louder.

'What?' Thor had expected everything but not this.

'Loki thinks his father hates him for not being a man. I have no idea what you two fought about but he thinks you're not just angry but outright against him. Norns, for him the whole of Asgard is against him. He always hides himself and never allows himself to live a little. I just gave him some time to make a mistake no one would judge him about, then you come and judge him. I allowed him to be free, to do what he wants. For once in his life.' He shakes his head slightly. 'Yes, it was too much, but at least he wasn't alone.'

Thor doesn't know what to say. How could it be that their friend can understand Loki better than he?

'Whatever your problem with him is at the moment, just show him that you still care. I was his friend last night, I can't promise to be around next time. I could ask you the same thing: Where were you? You left him alone, he needed comfort and there was no one there for him.'

Thor heaves a sigh. 'I am sorry, my friend. I should not have judged so rashly. I thank you for finding him. I guess I just transferred my personal guilt to you.'

'Do you want to hear my advise?'

'Yes.', he whispers. His friend seems genuinely worried about the well-being of himself and his brother.

'Make it right.'

'What?', Thor breathes, furrowing his brow.

'Loki deserves to be fought for. I hate to see you both hurt.'

'What do you mean?' A gnawing suspicion fills Thor.

'Just that.' He puts his hand on Thor's shoulder. 'Make it right.'

The rest of the day Thor spends with figuring out what that exactly means.

xXxXx

The sun rises over the realm eternal, promising a bright wonderful day. Yesterday Thor had stayed away from his brother's room, needing the time to think everything that has been said through. Even though he accepts Loki's explanation, he can't simply ignore his prior behavior. Despite the kiss he hasn't quite forgiven Loki for endangering everything they have just because of his pride or because he thinks that's what Thor wants. Maybe in the end, he had meant what he said about Thor. Furthermore, hadn't his behavior with Fandral shown him undoubtably that Loki values Thor not as much as Thor values him? Possibly he had told Fandral about them, that would explain their confusing conversation yesterday. And after that he tried to break up with Thor. He can't tell if that had been really just a by now regretted exclamation or if that is what Loki truly wanted all along. Hadn't he completely overreacted to Thor's questions? If Thor would have gotten this simple explanation from the beginning, he probably would have accepted it without question. But now it seems like an evasive excuse.

A long ride through the forests surrounding the city had enabled him to sort his mind. Amidst the dark pines and golden oaks, Thor calmed and pondered over Fandral's words, realizing that probably Loki hadn't been the only one overreacting. When had he started to mistrust his love like that?

So right after breakfast Thor directs his steps to the healing halls which he definitely had visited far too often. Loki fortunately is already ready and eyes him warily, as if knowing what this is about. And knowing his brother, Loki indeed knows.

'Would you like to go to the gardens? It is a beautiful day?' And in here chances are higher to be overheard.

'Mother confided me to stay here.' Thor's eyebrows rise. Naturally she had found out about his whereabouts and forbidden further nighttime activities.

'I'll see that you don't overexert yourself.'

A smile ghosts over Loki's face. 'Wonderful. Yes, I guess a little sunshine would do me some good.' The insecurity stays in his eyes and Thor chooses not to start the conversation just now. Let the trickster suffer a little more.

'Perfect.'

Some moments later they walk to the gardens in silence, carefully paying attention to not touch each other for comfort. Thor tries to think about a way to breach the subject.

'Mother is watching us.' Loki crouches next to some purple flowers.

'I am more worried about Fandral.' Thor knows about Loki's suspicions. 'But that is not what I want to talk about now.'

Loki raises his gaze to Thor and raises an eyebrow.

'We don't have to worry about others knowing if there is nothing for them to know about.'

Loki's face falls before he covers the hurt in his eyes. 'If that is what you want, Thor.' He stands up and tries to evade Thor's eyes.

'That is not what I want to say. But-', he heaves a sigh. Why does this have to be so complicated?

'But you are not sure if it still makes sense.', Loki finishes his sentence, keeping all emotions out of his voice.

'We can't just ignore what happened.', Thor corrects.

'I know. I just.. hoped.' He closes his eyes. 'I am sorry. I swear, I won't lie to you again.'

'Thank you.'

'And, if you really want to know about him, I will tell you.', he says hesitating. It is hard for him to offer this.

Thor nods. 'I will think about it.' He needs to show Loki he still trusts him. 'I just don't want this to be between us.'

'It won't.', Loki promises.

I shall hope so, Thor thinks. He had never been able to separate Loki's lies from his truth.

'I can't promise to be a different person by tomorrow. However, I will try to improve, to be deserving of your love.'

'No need, my love. I fell in love with you, I don't need you to change. And I couldn't think of one better to love.'

'You deserve someone better.', Loki murmurs and looks away.

Thor resists the urge to grab his hand. 'You need to stop saying things like that.' Loki nods silently. 'Just tell me when there is something you want to talk about or something you feel I should know. You don't have to keep everything to yourself. I thought we - we are supposed to rely on each other. You can't drive me away when you are honest.' Loki looks as if he doubts that. 'You can come to me with anything.'

'I was on edge lately. I'm not used to be this helpless. This is no excuse but..' He casts his eyes down again.

'I don't mean to pry, Loki. You can have your secrets, just make sure they don't threaten us.', Thor says worried.

'I will.' And for the moment Thor believes him.

'Good. I would like to kiss you now, you know.' Thor smiles.

A smile brightens his features as Loki casts a wary glance to the palace windows facing the gardens. 'I would even kiss back.'

'Later?', Thor suggests.

Loki grins. 'Definitely.'

'I love you.', Thor whispers.

'Love you too.', he whispers back.

They continue their walk through the gardens.

'I am still mad at you though.', Thor says, facing Loki once more.

'I know.'

'But we will make this work, okay?' Loki beams as if he just waited for Thor to say this.

'I will do my best to make up for my mistakes.', Loki adds.

'More I can't wish for.', Thor replies truthfully.

Loki opens his mouth as if to say something. After several attempts, he finally asks: 'What made you make up your mind? About me?'

Thor smiles. 'Let us say, Fandral gave me a good advise.'

'You spoke to him?' The ravenette is surprised.

'Yes, yesterday morning.'

Loki hums. 'Strange. He hasn't even mentioned you.'

They both stop. 'You don't think he..?', Thor lets the question trail.

'He didn't seem disgusted, so I shall hope not.' Thor can see the doubt linger in green eyes.

xXxXx

'Thor!', Sif calls out. Thor stops dead on his tracks. 'Do you have a moment?'

He had just been on his way for an evening visit to Loki. 'Aren't you banished? What are you do in the palace?' It comes out more accusing than he intended.

'The All-father just called me and I think it is alright if I stay some minutes more. I'd like to talk to you.'

Thor makes sure they aren't being watched, then nods. It would be counterproductive for his friend to get into more trouble than she is in already. Being seen by one of the guards while sneaking around the castle she is supposed to not set foot into, would definitely not help her. She apparently wants to speak in private, otherwise she would have asked him to accompany her to the palace gates.

They quietly make their way back to Thor's chambers. Thor looks expectantly at her. This is the first private conversation they have since the day Thor threatened her.

'Loki thinks I did it on purpose.', she immediately starts.

'Did you?', Thor asks with as little emotions tainting his voice as possible.

'No! Why are you saying that? I thought we are friends.' She frowns.

'You've always been against him.' He just had to make sure.

'He is evil, Thor.' She steps closer. 'Don't you realize how he is playing you and your father?'

'He is not evil.', Thor declines. 'He is trying to protect us.'

'From what?', she demands to know. 'Your friends? You know what happened. He saw a shadow and jumped. Now he's claiming he did it to protect you. Why would he do that?'

'You will not speak like that about Loki!', Thor's voice booms.

'Why not?', Sif hisses back. 'Somehow he gains an advantage by jumping into our spar. He planned that!', she accuses.

'What advantage? He almost died because of you!' His patience runs thin.

'It is not typical for him to care for anyone. Above all, he always wanted to be king, was always jealous of you.', she grows quieter, sorting her thoughts.

'You know nothing of him.', Thor spits out.

'So why risk his life for you?', she continues musing. 'Except if-' She breaks of.

'I don't know what you think, but he was acting like my brother is supposed to.'

'He wanted to protect you. Just pretends to hate you. But then why would you defend him?' The confusion in her gaze makes way to shock and clearness. 'You and -?'

Thor shakes his head. 'No, Sif. You must have gotten something wrong.' Even in his own ears his voice sounds hollow. He needs to convince her, and fast.

'I always knew there is a reason you protect him like that.' She backs to the door.

'No, Sif. That is insane, you must see that.' Guilt must show clearly on his face. He can't let her go. She can't know.

'He is the reason you broke up.', she whispers. Determination is edged on her features.

'No, wait. Sif!' But she is faster than Thor. He touches the closed door.

Damn.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello.**

 **Thank you for all the feedback I've been getting.**

 **So, next week there won't be an update, but I hope you still stick with me. This chapter was kinda dialogue-heavy but I hope you'll forgive, I wanted to wrap up some loose ends, and well, might have gotten carried away.**

 **Anyway, see you soon. Bye.**


	16. Chapter 15 Verdict

Verdict

 _(I am) Part of that Power which would  
The Evil ever do and ever does the Good.  
Faust I, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_

The day of truth has come and the inevitable hasn't happened. Against all odds, Thor hadn't thrown Loki out of his life, he doesn't quite trust him yet but Loki is confident the blond will in time forget about this ugly incident. At least he hopes so. The past six days had been nothing but an up and down of emotions and relationships, they were quite possibly the most tiresome of late in Loki's life. He can't believe his luck that blue eyes now smile down at him. And he can't believe he almost ruined it all by one silly exclamation. It had never been his intention to almost end the relationship with Thor, though Thor deserves better, Loki always knew somewhere deep down. It is hard to accept the blond will stay with him, could truly love him like Loki loves him.

'Are you ready?', Thor offers him his hand.

The six days pause the All-father has granted them to ponder his decision are up. They had started with fight and doubt, then how can they end with such a beautiful gesture? What Thor still sees in him, he can not tell, however, he certainly won't waste any more time pointing this out to Thor.

'As ready as I'll ever be.'

Thor is wearing his silver armor and red cape, looking every inch the king he was born to be. This time Loki had managed to get dressed in his armor on his own, giving him back a little self esteem. He reaches for his hand and lets himself be swept from the bed.

'You'll do fine.', Thor reassures him.

'Today this will hopefully come to an end.' How much can truly happen in six days, how much can change. He is not exactly dreading the new trial but Loki isn't exactly looking forward to it either. At least this time Thor is at his side again, even picking him up from the healing halls because Loki refused to accept their mother's help again. With his spirits high for the first time since waking up, his healing sped up considerably. The armor doesn't feel as heavy anymore.  
'It doesn't matter what happens today, Thor. I love you.'

Thor tosses a quick glance to the door.

'Not here.', Loki beseeches him.

'One for good luck.' Thor grins and kisses him. 'I love you. Always.'

The golden doors to the throne room are opened for them mere minutes later. The court is already waiting, all assembled in front of the All-father. Mother stands behind him, trying to veil her anxiousness. If it wouldn't be for her clasping her hands, Loki would have failed to notice. Loki takes his place next to Sif in front of everyone else, Thor stays back slightly.

'I have been reassessing this case.', Odin begins after the formal introductions. 'Are there any more arguments that have to be considered before I promulgate my verdict?'

Loki takes a deep breath. It is time. He steps forward. 'Before we proceed, I would like to say something.'

Odin is genuinely surprised as is the rest of the hall. His mother casts him a wary glare. 'Has it to do with this?', Odin sighs. They know that he would be able to sweet-talk his father just provided a chance, like he had done countless limes before to get out of punishment. Especially the counselors fear his silver tongue for making them see reason where there is none.

'It has everything to do with this.', Loki states solemnly. He draws a small amount of glee from the all-present caution.  
The All-father motions him with a nod to proceed.

'The day in question, I was in high emotional stress.', he begins after some moments of utter silence with the attention of the whole room turned to him. 'I saw Thor just fighting out of the corner of my eye. Sif was about to attack and..' He draws a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly to get the next words past his lips. 'And I might have misinterpreted the situation.', he grudgingly says through gritted teeth. They all hear he is forcing this out. 'In that moment I wasn't thinking that Lady Sif would never hurt my brother, or that it was just a training exercise. For a moment, it was all too real a fight and my brother was in immediate danger. I thought Sif wanted to kill him but after thinking about it again thoroughly I guess, I just saw what I was expecting to see, an enemy ready to kill a prince of Asgard.' He pauses but no one makes a movement. 'He is my brother, I want to protect him from any harm I possibly can. So I jumped in,' He evades Odin's searching gaze like it is troublesome for him to admit that. 'in an instinct born in battle. And a tainted memory is what is left of it. After reevaluating the situation, I come to the conclusion that Sif probably told the truth.' He clears his throat, then turns to Sif staring also slightly shocked at him. 'I am truly sorry, Milady Sif, for accusing you. I hope you will forgive me in time.' Loki bows slightly. 'And I apologize to the present people for the inconvenience born from a misunderstanding.'

The silence draws on when everyone tries to process the given information and try to make sense to his behavior, this is too unlike him and they try to bring this into accordance with everything they think they know about the trickster.

Odin gulps and tries to compose his features, failing miserably. 'How comes your sudden change of heart?', he demands to know. Though everyone asks himself the same question Loki would have expected his father to stick to the protocol.

'I cannot let an innocent be punished for a – misjudged situation.'

'So you withdraw every accusation?', Odin asks seriously after clearing his throat to regain composure.

'Yes. I withdraw my former testimony. And I am prepared to face any consequences.' Loki keeps his face straight.

'Does anyone influence your statement?' Odin casts a side-glance at Sif. Finally they are back at protocol but Loki can hear his curiosity is real.

The whole room seems to stop breathing, waiting for Loki's answer. Usually Loki would never admit a fault and they all ask themselves the same question: Why this sudden change of heart of the prince known to cause chaos where he treads the ground? Loki suppresses a smug smile. Let them guess, he thinks. It is not easy to say all of this for him.

'No, it is the truth.'

'Are you sure, Loki, that is what happened?'

xXx

Damn.

That truly is the only word to describe their current situation.

'What do you mean 'Sif knows'?' His voice gets that annoying high edge but he cannot find it in him to care. Loki barely can suppress the shake of his hands. Of all people it had to be the one hating him the most, the only one everyone would believe.

'Sif guessed that was the only reason why you would risk your life for me.' Thor looks miserable. If Loki wouldn't be so furious, he would want to kiss that expression away.

'That is ridiculous.' And oh so true. 'Why didn't you talk her out of it?' Loki always knew she'd be dangerous one day, that smug warrior bitch.

'I don't have a silver tongue. And she left as soon as she deduced that.', he tries to defend himself.

Loki sighs. Unfortunately he is right. 'So you practically confirmed it, did you?'

'I didn't!', Thor says heatedly.

'So that's a yes.', Loki sighs again. This is bad.

'No!' His eyes widen.

To Loki's glare Thor responds with a sheepish smile.

'It wasn't my intention. She surprised me.'

'I'll talk to her. We will- find a way.', Loki quickly decides. He has to do damage control as fast as possible.

'Are you sure you can do something?' Thor doubts him not without reason.

With more conviction than he feels, he says: 'Yes. She hasn't gone to Mother or Father yet.'

'How do you want to know?'

'I am still alive and not in chains.' Father would never let an opportunity like that slip. 'She has a reason. Maybe doubt, maybe she is trying to press an advantage. Whatever it is, I will find out.' He nods to himself.

'What will you do?' He sounds suspicious.

'Give her what she wants.' Even if it will break his heart. What else could she want but Thor's? 'Or silence her.', he adds on an afterthought.

'Loki, you can't!' Thor is shocked.

'I don't plan on killing her, Thor. There are other ways to silence her. More practical, less obvious ways. Corpses tend to be a problem to get rid off.'

Thor's eyes widen.

'That was a joke, oaf. Norns, brighten up. We're not in chains yet.' Loki rolls his eyes.

The blond chews on his lips. 'You really think she'd tell Mother?'

'She'd be the only one to believe Sif.'

'But we're her friends.', Thor argues. 'She'd know what punishment would await us.'

'Correction: She's your friend.' She'd also know that Loki would take the blame, knowing he loves Thor. Why just did he step in? Knowing it is the thing that would tell them everything there is to know about their relationship. He cares and Sif knows. The prospect of her corpse becomes more and more alluring.

'So what do we do?'

'Let me deal with it.', he tries to calm Thor. A plan begins to form in his mind.

In the early afternoon Loki leaves the palace grounds for the first time since his confinement to the healing halls without the plan to get drunk. Cloaking himself to walk unrecognized through the city, he passes the normal people of Asgard, going by their daily business. He isn't fooled by their evaded gazes though, there aren't many with his build out there and the slight limp is still noticeable. With Sif relieved from her duties there is only one place where she can be this time of day with so much on her mind and all her friends busy. Usually she would never set foot on the public training fields but being banned from the private grounds of the palace, she doesn't have much of a choice. Loki wrinkles his nose in disgust. The smell, the sound, the people, remind him all too much why he evades the fields as well.

Sif trains with one of the dummies alone in one corner.

'Lady Sif.', he addresses her when he is close enough. He notices the stares of the other warriors. Before entering the fields he had cast an illusion around himself so the others would see a shape more like his brother. Hopefully that would be less conspicuous.

She turns around surprised. 'Prince Loki.' She eyes his disguise with distaste. Fortunately she doesn't see his illusion.

'Could you pack away your sword so we may talk?' Why is she even allowed to carry one? It is making him more nervous than he would care to admit.

'I assume it is unwise to talk before the inquiry tomorrow.', she points out, sheathing her sword.

'If you are not unwise, you will talk to me. It will be benevolent for the two of us.' He looks at her unimpressed.

'I know what you want.'

'Then you surely also know what I offer.'

'I don't know what you have done to Thor, your brother,-'

'I have done nothing.' He can't help but defend himself.

'-but I am not so easily enchanted.' She crosses her arms. As if Loki wouldn't know but it takes two to tango.

'Enchantment was never part of the plan.', he admits.

Sif spits out: 'He is your brother. That is disgusting.' Loki can tell she means it.

'I do not know what you are talking about.'

'You know it. Don't pretend.', she hisses.

As if he could admit this out loud. 'Let us pretend for a moment I would indeed know what you are talking about.', he carefully starts.

'I am not bribable, my Prince.'

'If it would be true what you think, you know the punishment we would face.' Him being here is any indication she needs to know that she is right. Otherwise he wouldn't have cared.

'You mean yourself.'

He finally understands what she thinks their relationship is. 'You must think truly bad of me.' She frowns confused. 'You would sentence us to death. Banishment at best.', he continues.

Maybe she starts realizing it isn't just Loki who is the driving force between them. 'But you're brothers! It is impossible.

'Do you believe I wouldn't know that?', he hisses.

'It would be a crime not to denounce you.', she threatens.

'Are you so caught up in your idea of revenge that you would risk the life of the one you claim to love?' Loki grows angry and tries to regain his composure. 'The throne was never mine to take. He likes you. And when the time comes, he will probably learn to love you.' The words taste bitter in his mouth.

She eyes him distrusting.

'It would do no good if you throw this kind of accusation around. But I think you already know that. Otherwise you would have run straight to the All-mother.'

'You know how I feel about him. But what good does it do when he stays with you? You just corrupt him.' He sees real fear for the first time on her face.

'You could be queen somewhen.' She doesn't want to be the queen for everyone and not wanted in her own home. She's afraid he will somehow birth Thor children and she will just be the official mother. She'd be the unwanted wife and would have to smile her whole life through that. But he knows she will be happy one day, when his personal life will be destroyed. 'Show him that he was wrong to choose me, he will see it. Someday he will come to love you and forget about me, like it is supposed to be. Now he considers you a friend but I know you could be more.' They both deserve happiness and if that only comes at the expense of Loki's, so be it. He takes a deep breath. 'And to show my good favor, I will withdraw my accusations under the pretense that you swear to never harm him again.'

'I swear to never harm Thor.'

Loki nods. 'I will keep you to that.' Magic fills the air, creating a magical bond. He could have erased her memories the same way but spells can be broken, breaking the ambition of a woman is far more difficult. Now she is in his debt. Furthermore, he knows of their parents' plans for Thor and Sif. The sooner he accepts they will marry and Thor will forget their aberration, the better.

'Oh, and Sif?', he calls after her when she turns to go. 'We might die if you talk. But I swear to you, if you do, I will find you, wherever you may hide, and I will rip you apart completely without magic.' He keeps a neutral expression on his face.

She narrows her eyes. 'I can't talk about this, can I?'

Loki eyes her. 'No.' She is cleverer than he gives her credit for. He didn't want to do it without her consent, there are always ways to cheat that spell if one really wants to. But he won't let her leave without any precautions. Binding her tongue is the least he can do. 'And you should not try. You better lose no word to anyone about this conversation either. It could be seen as.. influencing.'

Sif slowly nods. 'Don't hurt him.'

'I won't.' And no one else will either. 'And no worries about tomorrow. I will keep my part of the deal.'

'Thank you for doing that. And- I am sorry.', she adds quietly.

'It is not for you.', he corrects her. 'Thor needs his friends. So be a good one.'

'You really love him, don't you?' She eyes him critically.

Loki nods, then shrugs slightly. 'It was always just him.'

'You won't go unnoticed forever.', she tells him.

'Do you think me stupid, Sif? I always knew I would have to let him go somewhen. I know I am poison to him. But a moment with him is worth all the misery of eternity. Just make sure he is happy.', he says in a small voice.

xXx

'Are you sure, Loki, that is what happened?', the All-father asks. The question per se is highly inappropriate as it could be seen as influence. He doesn't believe him. No one actually does.

They didn't want to believe Sif guilty but all of them know her temper. They at least hadn't ruled out the possibility of the trickster for once saying the truth. She is known for her quick usage of the sword and drawing it more often than most warriors in a fight. There is a big chance she was defied by the golden prince everyone suspects she has a crush on, and then just snapped. Furthermore Loki had proven by interfering that he draws probably no personal gain from this. His injuries make the counselors more inclined to believe him either.

A wide smile appears on his face. 'Would I lie to you about this, Father?' He might bring chaos but not when there is real damage to be caused by it. The Liesmith's not known to be cruel or to do damage to someone on purpose. Of course Lady Sif and he never got along, but an accusation of murder isn't a jest or a pay-back. But Loki doesn't just change his mind. He can see it in their eyes. They think he is threatened or otherwise compromised. As if he couldn't help himself.  
Odin ignores the question but seems slightly in distress because of this new information. Loki isn't fooled, he knows his father is more than relieved not to have to decide against one of his best warriors or against his son, which would look bad to the public.

'In the light of this current turn of events,', he announces loudly, 'Lady Sif is cleared of all suspicions. Your banishment from the palace grounds is lifted hereby and you are to return to your duties immediately.' She bows with her hand pressed on her heart. Loki has to remind himself not to glare at her. 'Do you insist on pressing charges against Prince Loki?', he asks her.

She shakes her head.

'Then the matter is settled. The court is dismissed.' Odin turns his stare at the ravenette in front of him. 'I would like a word, Loki.'

Thor approaches him when everyone else is leaving the room. The big smile on Sif's face makes Loki sick.

'I'll be waiting outside.' He stands with his back to Odin.

Loki nods. This is far from over. He follows his father to his study close to the throne room. Odin motions him to sit down.

'When did you come to the conclusion to end this trial?', he asks.

'Yesterday.', Loki replies truthfully.

'And you didn't plan this? To drag the royal family through the mire?'

'To humiliate myself in front of the entire realm? You should know me better, I would have stuck to the story.'

'Why didn't you tell me before you had doubts?'

Because there still is no doubt. 'The end of the trial was necessary, your knowledge was no requirement.'

Odin nods. 'Does she force you to say this?'

'No, it is my personal decision.'

His eye narrows. 'You know you can tell me everything.' It has been years since Loki had last heard him speak like this.

Loki huffs. 'I can manage myself.' He fell once for this, but surely not a second time.

The following hour is filled with more questions, inquiries and badly hidden accusations. Odin truly seems worried, Loki had been influenced, he had apparently been believing what Loki said about Sif's attempt to kill Thor, it seems to worry him that Loki has given in, he doesn't believe his new story. Never had he heard of a case like Loki's, Odin wants to know what made Loki change his mind. He had been prepared to sentence Sif to banishment or at least to a long stay in the dungeons today. He wants to believe this is all a gigantic scheme of Loki but can't grasp any reason for that, Loki just loses more of his already doubtable respect and credibility.

After reassuring Odin that he truly free willingly changed his story for the sake of his consciousness, because he can't be certain if he really is not wrong, not because someone is forcing him into this, that he regrets making this trouble and wouldn't have had if he had known better, Loki takes his leave from the study and the throne room, outside Thor is still waiting for him. He is hoping for a calm afternoon to forget all about the past days finally.

xXxXx

'What in Asgard was that about?', Thor demands to know as soon as his chamber door is closed behind them. He is furious but mostly confused.

'I told the truth. From a certain point of view.' Loki stands dignified with his head held high.

'But you were so sure.' It is completely unlike his brother to change his opinion on important matters such as these. Usually he would prevent his story from changing even when under pressure. His pride would forbid him to change his story, much less lie about this matter.

'Maybe I was mistaken.', Loki admits.

'Loki, don't lie.', he reminds the trickster.

He sighs. 'It bought her silence.'

Thor freezes. 'So she truly tried to kill me.', he states calmly. Otherwise, why would she have accepted the offer? The information is hard to process.

'Don't give up on her yet. Maybe, after all, I could be truly mistaken.'

'But you don't think so.', Thor adds.

'I think that – if she indeed tried, she is sorry.'

Realization hits him. 'You want me to give her another chance.' He is flabbergasted.

'It would be for the best. If she thinks she still got a chance, she won't tell anyone about us for your sake.', he is quick to reason.

'I believe you already made sure she can't do that.'

Loki smiles. 'You know me too well. But at least she won't try and so won't lose her tongue which would lead to uncomfortable questions. Furthermore, no spell is without fault.'

Thor sighs. 'I am not sure if I can do that. Just pretend nothing happened.' He shakes his head.

'Give it a try. Maybe you'll even come to.. like her.', he ends in a small voice.

Is he starting this again? What does Thor have to do to make that obstinate ravenette finally believe that he will stay? 'Don't.', he growls, warning him to continue this thread of thought.

'Fine, still. It will show her good will.'

There is a knock on the door.

'Mother.', Loki states. Thor groans. 'I'll better go.'

'Where do you want to go?', Thor challenges. Or rather how does he imagine sneaking past their mother standing in front of the only entrance not positioned several hundred foot above the ground?

'My magic has replenished finally. I'll be in the healing halls.'

'We're not through with this.', Thor warns him.

Loki rolls his eyes. 'Sure.' The next moment the ravenette is gone. The blond shakes his head and opens the door.

'Hello, Mother. How can I hep you?'

She casts a quick glance around the room. 'I was rather hoping Loki would be here as well.'

'No, he isn't here.', he states the obvious. Thor is surprised by the perception of their mother. Had she watched them? Norns, he starts to sound like Loki.

'He did drop a bombshell there.' She sits down in one armchair and Thor feels obliged to take the other. He merely hums. 'I don't know if I should worry-'

'Don't.', he interrupts her. 'Trust him. He knows what he is doing.'

'I can imagine though yo are happy about the outcome.', she smiles knowingly.

Thor frowns. 'I might have doubted Loki's memories at first but I never expected any punishment for him. He just stated his believes.'

'I mean because of Lady Sif.'

He can't forget the nagging suspicion crawling through his mind. 'She's a friend.', he says confused.

'And nothing more?', she looks expecting at him.

'What are you insinuating, Mother?' He has enough of this charade.

'Thor.' Frigga touches his arm. 'She would make a fine queen one day.' Shock must have shown on his face. 'I always thought you'd like her.'

That was before Loki. Loud he says: 'Not her.'

'Who then?', she insists. Does she want to marry of both her sons as soon as possible? First she questions Loki like that, now him. Thor can't help but wonder, if she knows or if there is another reason.

'What do I need a queen for?', he asks to gain time.

'Sweetheart.' She always is indulgent with her sons. So Loki had been right this whole time. They want to marry him to a stranger of their choosing and if he doesn't do anything about it, it would be both Loki's and his worst nightmare partner. Can the choice truly just be Sif or a complete stranger from a royal house? And by the urgency in her voice, his parents want him to choose soon. Marrying Loki is out of question for them, anyone else impossible for him. They would be torn apart, without anything to be done because of it. His heart cries out in protest but he keeps his lips shut.

xXxXx

Loki concentrates his magic and prepares for the teleportation. For several days now he had ceased using magic for unnecessary illusions and other small spells, all to try to be able to teleport again. He misses it more than he dared to dream. It feels like a big part of himself is cut off, as if he still is confined to his room.

Today he feels confident enough to finally plan into action. The distance isn't too far either. He might be a little tired out from the day but this is as good a time as any other. If he hesitates now, he won't dare for a long time, or Thor would keep him from doing it.

The air cracks with seidr until he finally feels the familiar pull and he steps into the nothingness. The world reforms around him.

Loki's chest feels like crashing together. The smile dies on his lips as breathing becomes almost impossible and the only thing that keeps him from blacking out is his pure will-strength, because should he black out here, alone, in the small side chamber of the healing halls, without anyone looking for him, it surely is the last thing he'd do.

Loki sinks to the ground, his legs no longer supporting him. Blood gashes through his hands pressed against his chest to dim the pain. His wound must have opened again during the teleport, not being closed completely in first place. Something must have gone wrong. Pain shakes his whole body, his head throbs terribly and his heart races through the thin layers of flesh shielding it from the outside world. Loki barely feels the cold of the floor. Concentrating every last bit of his magic on healing he drains himself almost to the point of fainting, this time just the agony keeps him awake.  
How much time passes like this, Loki can't begin to evaluate. He lies on the floor, shaking, drenched in sweat, clinging on to consciousness and, again, life.

'Loki?' He hears the click of the door barely over his rampaging heart.

'Loki, what happened?' Worry is tainting the deep voice. Strong arms encircle him. Thor.

He cradles Loki in his arms, trying to figure out what happened. 'What can I do?'

'Just help me up, please.' To any other time he would hate the weakness of his voice but can't quite get himself to care. This new position had send jolts of searing pain though him though he is glad for his brother now being there.

'Of course. I will call the healers.', he agrees quickly.

'No. No-just- get me up.', Loki pants. This is his fault, he will deal with it. What had he just thought teleporting so soon after such a grave injury? It was bound to fail.

'Okay.' Thor scoops him up and places him on the bed, covering himself in Loki's blood. 'But you should still get help.'

'It'll be alright.' Loki tries to relax on the bed, keeping his eyes close. After some moments Thor speaks up again.

'What happened?'

Sighing Loki opens his eyes and his gaze is drawn to the window. The darkness shocks him. Where has the afternoon gone? The evening? 'Guess I wasn't ready to strain my magic again. I thought I was. But apparently I was wrong.', Loki still pants but fortunately finally, his magic begins to work.

'Did you know this would happen?' He can hear the accusation dripping from his words.

'It was always a possibility.'

'Then why?'

'Well, I have to start somewhere.', he tries to explain.

Thor ignores his statement though he disagrees, and still hovers over him. 'You are sure, I shouldn't get someone?'

Loki tries to ban the pain from his face. 'Yes. Mother warned me. She'll know exactly what I did. I just need a moment to catch my breath. My magic will do the rest.' I hope, he adds in his mind.

'You still are blue.'

Loki frowns and looks down at his hands. He can't discuss the blue hue away. 'Must be the oxygen deprivation. I am sorry if I scared you.'

'I am worried.'

'I know..', Loki sighs. His breathing gets easier by the minute. 'Can you fetch me a vial from my rooms?'

'Certainly, brother.', Thor replies quickly.

Loki describes him exactly which of his potions would help him now and where he stores his small amount of it. It wouldn't undo the damage, but at least it would help him immensely to stock up on seidr. He hadn't used it before because it always comes at a high personal price. Thor kisses his forehead briefly before storming of. What would he just do without him? Smiling Loki closes his eyes again and sinks into the pillows.

He is asleep before Thor returns so he doesn't see the blond smiling while making sure Loki drinks every last drop of the blue vial.

xXxXx

'Who is he seeing?'

'I can't tell you.'

'I demand to know. Who is Thor seeing?'

'It is not my information to give you.' Sif's eyes evade hers,

Frigga freezes. 'Loki.'

 **xXxXxXx**

 **Hello back finally :)**

 **I am happy, to have gotten so much feedback by all of you. First, thank you for that. Now that I am back out of hospital, I was finally able to finish this. To my defense, if you noted the other upload, I needed a short distraction. I won't stop this story, no worries.**

 **So, now the trial is ended, there is just one more thread to be closed. Yeah, well plus the several I started. And I couldn't resist the cliffhanger.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading. See you next week.**


	17. Chapter 16 Birthday Surprises

Birthday Surprises

 _You have all the power you need, if you dared only to look for it.  
The Last Unicorn  
_

The next day Thor visits Loki again and finds his mother sitting next to Loki's bed, looking grave. She barely looks up when she notices him.

'He tried, didn't he?', she asks, her eyes fixed on Loki.

'Yes.', Thor admits.

'Lady Eir says, it is a surprise he is still alive. Why didn't you call anyone?', she accuses him.

'He told me to fetch a potion, he seemed alright when I left.'

'What potion?', she asks, finally looking directly at him.

'I- I don't know. Can't Loki tell you?'

She looks at Loki again and sighs. 'He hasn't woken up yet.'

'But he was alright when I left.' Thor's insides clench up. What had he fetched there for his brother?

'I can guess what he has taken. He didn't take this potion before because of the drastic side effects, plus he was getting better rapidly.'

'Side effects?' Thor gulps.

'Every potion takes its toll, this one drains the body of energy though it restores his seidr to full potential which probably kept him alive. It should also help him healing after he refills his energy. Loki will sleep for some time, a few days maybe.' She shrugs. 'I advised him against using this potion, as well as teleporting in this healing stage. Now it will take even longer for him to heal.'

Her words ring true. After five days Loki finally opens his eyes again, dizzy and disorientated, but alive. His renewed wounds throw his healing process back by several weeks so the summer slowly fades into autumn when Mother and the healers allow him to return to his own chambers and life. Almost the whole gash had been torn open again, so it would still be some moons before his body would fully heal and he'd have full use of his magic again which frustrates Loki immensely but at least he had given up forcing it.

xXxXx

The bar is crowded, the warriors three have found the last free table for the four man. It is the first evening Thor leaves the palace free-willingly to have some fun, before, his friends always had to force him to go out. This time Loki had practically thrown him out of his room, stating he'd need some time for himself for once.

'So, friend. You're ready for next week, I hope?' Fandral claps the red head's shoulder.

'Everything is almost prepared.', Volstagg replies happily.

'Ready for what?', Thor asks, frowning.

'My name's day, what else?' He is probably the only one in Asgard celebrating that day every year. He'd never miss an opportunity to have a big feast. But how could Thor have lost his feeling for time like this? He had never forgotten his name's day before, he hadn't even realized now that it is due. 'The festivities will start at sundown. Will you come?'

'Of course, my friend. I wouldn't dare to miss it.' Thor grins, trying to gloss over his confusion.

'Sif will be there as well. I hope you don't..'

Rage boils up but he tries to keep a straight face. 'It is alright.'

'I just thought after Loki..'

'No, it's.. I will meet her sooner or later.' Preferably later.

'She's still our friend.', Fandral tries to explain.

'I understand. And she'll also always be mine.' They practically grew up together. 'It's just a little difficult.'

'It is okay if you..'

Thor interrupts his friend. 'No, no. I will be there. Looking forward to it.'

'Loki can come as well if he'd like to. I'm not sure. I also would like to ask him myself but it's hard to get a hold on him lately.'

'I'll ask him and then let you know.'

'He doesn't leave the palace very often now.', Volstagg notes.

'Loki usually is in the gardens in the mornings, if you should still wish to speak to him yourself.', Thor replies grudgingly. 'He's just.. Loki needs some time. This will do him good.' Thor is worried, that is the truth. He is worried for the trickster, his little brother. Though Loki pretends that nothing is wrong, Thor somehow feels the hesitation in him. He seems to brood over everything lately and he has drawn back again. All his anger and the frustration he had shown right after waking up are so unlike the brother he had come to love. It is as it was all this ago, the time Loki still doubted Thor's love for him. He would have to help Loki to be again the trickster he is famous to be and not hide away in the palace with the hope that everything else will sort itself out. Thor had long enough watched him to be certain that he could use this little push to overcome his worries, his near-death experience. A little fun would do both of them good.

xXxXx

Thor softly knocks on Loki's door but receives no answer. He enters but can't see the ravenette anywhere. Several books lie in disorder on the table where his brother usually works and studies, so Thor decides to look in the library. Maybe he had found a problem and is now searching for an answer. On his way he walks through the corridor reserved for the royal family and their servants. A door stands open and Thor doesn't know what makes him look into the room. He would recognize the shock of black hair anywhere. He opens the door a little more.

'Loki?'

'Oh, hello Thor.', he greets back casually.

'What are you doing here?' He enters the small kitchen Frigga sometimes uses.

'I am standing in a kitchen and you're asking what I am doing?' Loki chuckles. 'Your friend's birthday is tomorrow if I am not entirely mistaken.' He turns back to the counter with ingredients.

Thor looks over his shoulder. 'You're baking a cake for him?'

'As a gift.'

Thor is immediately suspicious. 'What is in it?'

Loki grins mischievous. 'Flour and sugar and eggs..' He stirs the dough.

'And what else? What have you put in it?' He had more than once put a potion in food, amusing himself with the effects they had on the others. Never something dangerous but at least enough for everyone to notice and laugh about the victims. This is more the Loki he knows but Thor supresses the smile forming on his face.

'Nothing.' Thor raises an eyebrow. 'What? I swear. That'll be my present. You give him the cake and I won't poison it. I had to promise him.', Loki admits. He puts more flour into the bowl. 'Even though I read an interesting..'

'That sounds more like you.' Thor lets his hands rest on Loki's hips, leaning on him.

'Not here.' He fidgets.

Thor scowls slightly but draws back. Quickly he delves a finger into the dough.

'Could use a little more sugar.', he judges.

'Hands away from my cake!' Still he takes the box with the sugar and pours two spoons into the dough. 'It is not finished yet.'

Thor leans on the counter. 'You look really tempting like this.'

'Covered in flour?' Thor grins lecherous.

'Are you going to Volstagg's festivities?', he changes the theme.

'Why wouldn't I?', Loki asks back. 'I already answered that a week ago.'

He breaches the subject slowly. 'Sif will be there.' He hadn't informed Loki about this little fact until now, knowing the gravity of it.

The silence speaks for itself. 'So what? I'll meet her often enough. And it would look suspicious if I don't show up, no one would eat my cake.', he jokes.

'No one would judge.'

'Like I am hiding.', he continues quietly. 'Which I am not.'

Thor hugs him from behind while Loki busies himself with his cake again. 'I know.', he breathes into Loki's ear as his fingers sneak under the tunic.

'Stop it.' Loki tries rather unsuccessful to suppress a giggle and fidgets to get out of Thor's grasp. Loki somehow gets flour into his hands.

Thor blinks the flour out of his eyes. The white powder rains down.

'I was wrong. You look tempting but a little clean for the kitchen.', Thor states calmly.

'Don't you dare!' A grin already spreads on Loki's face and his eyes twinkle amused.

'Oh, you will regret this.'

'No!', he giggles when Thor renews his efforts to tickle his lover. Soon they end up throwing various ingredients at each other and laughing like children.

'You're an idiot.' Thor traps Loki between himself and the counter.

'I love you too.' He gives his lover a chaste kiss.

'Thor.' Loki turns his head away. 'Someone could walk in.'

He kisses down Loki's pale throat.

'We can't.' Nevertheless Loki presses against Thor who relishes in his victory.

'You don't seem to mind too much.'

'You're unfair.' Loki shoves him away and turns to put the dough in a form and then into the oven. He turns back to Thor, licking the rest of the dough from the spoon. Thor growls and shoves him back against the counter.

Loki opens his mouth as soon as Thor's lips touch his, allowing Thor entrance. He still tastes sweet, it drives him crazy. He raises Loki and makes him sit on the counter, making him comfortable between his legs. Loki's hands rake through his hair before kissing down Thor's throat.

The ravenette stops his ministration when he hisses through his teeth.

Loki jumps from the counter and stretches his back, pain contorts his features. He must have bend his back too much, resulting in an awkward angle for his wound.

Thor caresses his cheek when Loki closes his eyes. He rests his forehead against the ravenette's to give him strength somehow. The pain slowly ebbs away from his face.

'It's alright again. I must have moved wrong.'  
'I am sorry.', Thor whispers.

'It's not your fault.', Loki denies.

He puts his arms around the smaller man and holds him close, Loki makes no attempts to break free, showing just how vulnerable he still is. He will keep his lover safe, no one will ever hurt his lover again. After a while he finally draws back to kiss Thor.

'What about anyone walking in?', Thor smiles weakly.

'Fuck it.' Thor chuckles but kisses his lover back with the same vigor before breaking the kiss. 'Since when are you the reasonable one?' Loki turns back, a little scowl plastered on his face. Thor can't help but hug him from behind, pressing his lips on Loki's neck.

'I know it's been long.' His smell is intoxicating.

'I told you ages ago I feel alright.'

Thor huffs. 'And I just saw how 'alright'.'

Loki rubs himself on Thor. After this length of time it's almost enough to break Thor's resistance.

'How long are you planning on letting me wait?', he sounds impatient.

'Soon.' Really soon the way his body responds to the invitation of the ravenette.

Loki sighs and frees himself from Thor's embrace. 'Well, then, make yourself useful.' He motions around the small room. The floor is covered in flour and other left-overs.

'But you dirtied everything!', Thor defends himself.

'What?', Loki asks disbelieving. 'You made more than half the mess. I didn't involve the raspberries.'

'The flour wasn't my idea though.' Thor crosses his arms.

'Oh, don't start this again.' He leans on the counter, eyeing him.

'Start what?' Innocence is written all over his face when he flicks a little bit of flour in Loki's direction.

The dark glare is soon enough replaced by an infectious smirk. 'You're terrible.', he laughs. Loki presses a kiss on Thor's lips. The blond wants to deepen the kiss but Loki draws back. 'First clean up.' He grins.

Thor growls. 'Come on.'

'Thor.', he pretends to be annoyed but the smile won't vanish from his eyes.

He finally gets his kiss. 'I love you.'

'I miss you.', Loki whispers, embracing the blond. Thor buries his nose in black hair.

'I'm right here. I won't go anywhere.', he whispers back.

'I love you too.' He sighs. 'Well, back to work.'

'You're serious?' They break apart.

'Either you help, or you can go, Thor.' Loki crosses his arms.

'Fine.' They laugh lighthearted. The two princes begin to clean up the kitchen slowly. The door opens with a knock.

'I was looking for you, boys.', Frigga says. 'What are you doing?' Her smile is strained.

'Thor likes to pretend he helps me bake a cake for Volstagg.' Loki's back is turned on them after recognizing it is their mother interrupted them.

'I do help.', he defends himself.

Loki turns around to counter, when his eyes meet Frigga's. 'Is there something, Mother?'

'What? Why?', she asks, furrowing her brow.

'You seem distressed.' Loki advances to her, worry is evident in his voice.

She sighs. 'The day was just- a little stressing.' Loki nods. Thor thinks he doesn't believe her either.

'Why were you looking for us?', Loki inquires.

'Odin wishes to speak to you.' Loki's relationship with their father has been strained ever since their dispute over Loki's revelation. Though they speak with each other again, it is mostly cool and civil. Thor knows his brother is still angry and disappointed, his own fury had cooled down long ago.

The question why burns on Thor's mind but he simply says: 'Tell him we will come.'

'Actually, he would like to speak to Loki alone first.' Ever since the incident with Sif Odin had wished to talk to Loki alone but his efforts had ceased with time, this would be the first time they are truly alone without an apparent need should Loki agree. Until now he had canceled every meeting of theirs where no one else would be present after their inquiries. Thor wishes he'd know what this is about. Something clearly had been on their parents' minds.

'What about?' Loki immediately is as suspicious as Thor.

'The negotiations with Muspelheim are due. They were postponed long enough.' It seems like a excuse.

Loki briefly closes his eyes. 'When shall I be there?'

'Tomorrow, first thing.' She clasps her hands. This nervous Thor had rarely seen her.

'I'll be there.' He turns back to clean up the rest of their mess.

'Do you feel up for this, brother?'

'Let that be my worry.'

xXxXx

His steps echo through the empty hallways. The sun had just risen over the horizon and dips the realm into a soft orange. But today Loki can't appreciate the beauty, his mind is trained on other matters. Though he had spend the night with his lover, he hadn't found any rest. It is time to be again included in the court processes though he can't shake off the feeling that is only the pretense to lure him here. The meeting is in Odin's private chambers instead of the throne room or his study which just underlines his suspicions.

'Father.', Loki greets Odin reserved after entering.

'Loki, good that you came.' He motions to him to sit down, then clears his throat. 'You feeling better?'

Loki sighs impatient. 'Let us skip the social inquiries.' He doesn't need fake interest.

Odin sighs but nods. 'I just want to know if you are well enough to take over a diplomatic mission.'

He takes his time. 'Yes, I am indeed.' He is surprised Odin would still send him. After all, he could disgrace the royal family negotiating as the unwanted son.

'Good. Because news of Muspelheim have reached us yesterday.'

Loki raises an eyebrow. 'Is he still threatening with war?'

'Indeed.', Odin confirms. 'He believes us weak right now. Vulnerable.'

And sending your weak, vulnerable son to negotiate strikes you as a good idea, Loki wants to ask. 'Why?' Though he knows the answer.

'I have grown old. Soon one of you will be sitting on the throne. If there ever was a time to take over Asgard, it will be then.'

'Unless I can talk him into another peace treaty.', Loki concludes.

'Exactly.'

'What makes you think he will keep it?' He certainly would agree to make them feel safe and attack after the coronation.

'Surtur is proud, he would never break an oath.' Odin gets two glasses of wine for them.

'Thor should come with me.'

'He is needed here.', Odin evades.

'But when he is king, he will have to deal with other realms as well, he should get to know his enemy. And with Surtur seeing him as the strong proud prince, he won't think about betraying the treaties.'

'If it wouldn't be for the sake of Asgard, I would send him. But like this, too much is at stake. And it is not 'when he is king' but 'if'.'

Loki huffs. 'Who are you kidding? The only reason I would sit on the throne for would be his death.', he scoffs.

'You were both born to be kings.' Again this ominous statement.

'But not of this realm.' Odin's face falls. 'We both know you will choose Thor. Norns, the whole of Asgard knows. So spare me your lies.', Loki snarls.

'We need to talk after your return.'

'No worries, I won't kill my brother. I already proved stupid enough to risk my life for him.'

'Loki..', he says exasperatedly.

'Spare me. Just fill me in.', Loki cuts him short.

Odin sighs heavily. 'As you wish. Three of my advisors will accompany you.'

'How many warriors?', Loki inquires.

'Five.'

Loki shakes his head. 'Show your good will. This must stay peaceful. If he sees one warrior, if he even sees ine hidden sword, he will think we don't negotiate but threaten him. Surtur will never agree.'

'Well spoken.', he says as if he hadn't counted on Loki argue like that. 'So just a party of four.'

'That will suffice. And I ask you to not choose someone too old if possible. We don't want to seem weak either.'

'That won't pose a problem.'

'And if you can manage, tell them to let me do the talking. Loud ambassadors tend to - not return. So no one too young and inexperienced either.', Loki adds on second thought.

'Halfdan has some experience. He visited Muspelheim already a few times.'

Loki nods. Him he can work with. 'I also want Balder.'

Odin frowns.

'He listens. And he will be a great ambassador when his time comes. Furthermore he isn't rash, he thinks before he speaks. Something you can't say about a lot of Asgardians.' He might be young but Loki has faith.

'I will tell him of your decision. Or would you like that honor?'

'No. Thank you. And it's not him.', Loki says drily. Though Balder isn't the ugliest man Loki had ever encountered and he'd probably proof an interesting intellectual challenge for him, he has no wishes to deepen their relationship and doesn't wish his father to think of him like that.

Odin clears his throat and is visibly uncomfortable. 'Any wishes for the last man?'

'No. I trust your judgment. When will we go?'

'As soon as possible. The threat needs to be eliminated immediately.'

'That won't be a problem. I can go as soon as needed.'

'Tomorrow Stian will talk to all of you so everyone knows what your goal will be. Does your magic work again?'

'Yes.'

'Good. Without swords it might be sorely needed.'

'To get us to the Bifrost side in Muspelheim won't be too big a problem. Just make sure they don't wander off too far from me.'

'Tomorrow after lunch in the counsel room.', Odin reminds him again.

Loki nods and takes this as his cue to leave. He truly had his share in politics for one day.

The birthday in the evening doesn't take his mind of the upcoming mission but the faces full of distrust eating a piece of his cake surely lighten his mood. For Volstagg the festivities are rather small, just consisting of his friends and some warriors. They celebrate in a small tavern and Loki occupies a small table in the back alone, watching the small crowd getting drunk. At one point he spots Sif but she quickly vanishes from his field of vision again. Loki sighs. He would vanish if he hadn't promised Thor to stay with the prospect of taking him to his rooms.

xXxXx

Though the celebrations are small, Thor relishes in having just people around him he knows and likes. Volstagg seems happy and Thor doesn't have to pretend to be interested in the not really present maidens. He gets two glasses of mead at the bar for himself and his brother who had made himself scarce. He spots the birthday child almost falling off the chair, he apparently had a little too much already.

Laughing he turns around a little too quick and bump into a woman behind him.

'I am sorry, I.. didn't see you there.' It is not just any maiden he bumped into but Sif. Loki's glare is on him.

'No problem, Thor.' Thor nods. After some awkward moments of silence he says: 'Well I- I better go.' He can't talk to her, he can almost read the disapproval in her silence. Once he had seen her as a friend but now she is the almost-murder of his lover, the threat of their relationship, the person he is supposed to marry, the only person in Asgard he would like to never see again. He doesn't know what he should feel for her, he wants to forgive her but a part of him doubts she deserves that.

'I-' He stops mid-track. 'I won't tell anyone.' Fortunately the tavern is loud enough as that their chatter is overheard by everyone.

'I am not going to marry you.', he states calmly. He won't do that to his lover. 'Loki told me.'

'But you must see..' Of course she tries to talk him out of this.

'It is not because of him. He wants me to marry as a matter of fact.' She seems genuine surprised. 'And I chose that it won't be you.'

Sif looks down. 'I understand that. It is my own fault.'

'Damn well it is.', he interrupts her.

'You know how I feel. That won't change so easily. I won't be in your way, whatever you choose to do. And I won't lose a word about this matter. But if you need a friend, someone to talk to..'

'Thank you, Milady. I'd be glad, somewhen in the future.' He remembers Loki's words and wants to show some good will. She nods and smiles. Hopefully she gives up her hopes. He sighs and continues his way to his brother. Placing the glasses on the table he sits down next to Loki.

'The scowl suits me better, brother.'

'I am sorry, Loki. I can't even fathom how you feel about this.' Thor glances over to him, the own scowl now hidden behind a caring smile.

'Would you like to go?', Loki asks, clearly having ulterior motives.

'Don't you think that's too obvious?' He looks around and tries not to seem too eager to leave.

'They are drunk enough.'

Thor nods and stands up immediately. Loki is right behind him when they leave, Loki throwing an especially dirty look in Sif's direction just for the effect.

Loki accompanies him directly to his room, stating it is already too late for anyone to be still up. Half an hour later they lie in Thor's bed, kissing each other languidly.

'Loki.', Thor whines when the ravenette kisses down his throat. 'Not yet. I don't want to hurt you.' It gets more and more difficult to say 'no' to his eager lover but he knows he has to. When one wrong movement can make his brother a quivering mess, he isn't planning on making it worse. Thor can wait. He presses one hand on the wound he can feel even through the tunic. A scar will definitely stay, no matter how much Loki tries to evade that. When the time comes, he will show his love how much that scar will mean to him, how much he values him, how beautiful it makes him.

 **xXxXx** **Xx**

 **Hello back!**

 **So, some story notes are following: The threat of Surtur was introduced in C5 if I am not entirely mistaken, though you don't have to read that again necessarily** **because of him. If everything goes as planned this thread won't take me too long ;) And I swear, the kitchen scene will somewhen make sense, it is not just that I am obsessed with food right now :D**

 **Whatever though, I did include Balder just to show that Loki didn't murder him (yet) here, he could even grow to like him. And Balder was always shown to be kind and loved and stuff ^^**

 **Was a little too convenient for Sif to give in like that? Possibly. But well, with melancholy we remember her short talk with Frigga last chapter. *sigh* We will soon know what that was about :)**

 **Anyway, see you next week.**


	18. Chapter 17 Diplomacy

Diplomacy  
 _  
_ _The world must never again make the fatal error of mistaking compassion for weakness.  
Avengers #6, 1964_

Loki looks around his room again, checking every corner for things he might have forgotten to pack or hasn't even thought about taking with him. After the initial conversation with Odin things hadn't taken long. Soon enough Stian had debriefed the small group and letters were written, dates arranged. Not half a moon later all preparations were done and Loki officially announced as the ambassador who'd travel to Muspelheim for the first time within this century. Before negotiations on neutral ground had proved sufficient, though now no one believes in a peaceful solution. Loki had just smiled upon hearing that. Surtur clearly just flexes his muscles but if the people of Asgard would value him higher after fixing this apparent mess, so be it. Though he doubts it greatly, they would just continue their murmur that a real prince should solve this not by talking. At least should his way fail the lives of just five Asgardians are threatened.

He sighs when his gaze drifts over the neatly stacked books on his tables. This whole trial-Sif-business had thrown back him back by several moons. His studies still crave completion. Though he had spend a lot time not really doing anything, he hadn't found the strength and will to continue. Seeing the current situation a solution would have proven useful as it would ensure a quick escape should they need it. The next morning at daybreak the small party will meet at the Bifrost, ready to stay as long as necessary for their quest to be a success. Loki remembers all too lividly how he had to stay for almost seven months till the matter was finally settled, but that was another time, another realm. He shudders. The plan is to stay this time for two weeks topmost, longer they would probably not make. Muspelheim had never been the most friendly realm and the non-magic wielders in their group would soon have to pay their tribute to the realm of fire. It isn't Loki's favorite place to be and the heat also drags him down but at least his magic protects him a little. The main reason for such a hasty return is sitting on his bed next to his bags though.

Thor smiles when he notices Loki's glance so the ravenette quickly busies himself again, trying to decide whether to pack his basic potions kit.

Balder had been more than honored to be chosen because of Loki and he is grateful. Being scrawny like Loki being a warrior is almost impossible for him so politics had been the best choice possible and Asgard is truly lucky to profit from him. With a little guidance this still very young man could become an invaluable member of the higher ranks in the palace. The first counsel he had taken part in he had already proven Loki right with choosing him.

'Do you have everything?', Thor asks when Loki returns to his bags. He and their mother had strictly been against Loki going, it would be too soon, too much a strain for his heart, but for once Loki had been on Odin's side. He wants to go and prove his own valor, give his father a reason to make himself head of the counsel or at least not disapprove once Thor is king and makes him just that. There at least Loki will be of use for Thor and be able to even the way for him a little. Thor's leaden tongue had proved on more than one occasion to be insufficient for diplomatic formalities.

'I shall hope so.', Loki answers distracted, going through the list in his head again. Once there, they would have to step right in line and not waver once. Furthermore, forgetting something important could be terrible. Asgard would not be able to just send it to them.

'Don't forget your 'armor'.', Thor says sarcastic and points at the heap of clothes on the other side of the bed.

'Don't be ridiculous.' He knows as well as Loki that it would be considered rude to wear such a thing in the presence of a king, possibly even hostile. He must at least pretend to show his good will by wearing these light robes instead of the metal and leather his social rank would demand. A servant had brought the clothes an hour ago along with his polished armor. Even though he wouldn't wear it, Loki likes to take it with him. He even found space for it in his bags somewhere where it wouldn't be found. As every piece of luggage it would be sealed away by his magic which can just be undone in Asgard or otherwise by him. Taking it with him had been one of the things Thor insisted on to allow Loki to travel without him. Another had been the small dagger he keeps hidden on his person.

'You sure I shouldn't accompany you?'

'Only if you want to ruin everything. At least I know when to keep my mouth shut.' Thor blushes slightly. 'Plus I am no child. I can take better care of myself among an army of fire giants than you.'

Thor sighs. 'Just be careful.' His worries are cute but also wearying.

'Have I ever been?', Loki mutters quietly.

'So this is our last night.', Thor states, eyeing Loki.

'I have to get up early tomorrow.'

A wide grin spreads on his face. 'That wasn't what I am suggesting.' Loki blinks a few times to make sure he isn't jesting.. 'When you return we should get away for some time.'

'Where to?'

The blond shrugs. 'We haven't been camping for some time.'

'Camping?', Loki asks disbelieving. The whole nine realms are open to them and his brother wants to drag him into the wild?

'We'd be alone and Heimdall wouldn't watch us too closely.'

'But it'll probably be freezing by the time I return.', he complains.

'No, it won't. I promise. And you can't say no.'

'Why?', Loki challenges.

''Cause I already asked Father and he thought it a good idea. In two weeks he will relieve me of my duties for a whole week as well as you.' Thor grins in triumph. He already knows he has won.

Loki sighs exasperatedly. 'Well, if you insist I don't have much of a choice left.'

Thor stands up and pulls him close. 'And you can be as loud as you want to, no one will be waiting for us, no one watching us. We don't have to sneak around but I can kiss you when I want to and not when nobody looks our way.' The prospect truly is endearing.

But he has no idea though how difficult it is to be anywhere they want. On their rooms Loki placed constant wards long ago so it wouldn't drain his magic and he wouldn't forget. But somewhere in the middle of nowhere to divert the eyes of the ever watchful Heimdall is something else entirely. Rooms are tricky enough and simply vanish completely often not an option, but maybe for once in the woods the guardian would lose track of them and not watch too close.

Loki nods. 'That would be nice.' He allows himself to melt into Thor's arms.

The blond leans down and captures his lips for a kiss. 'And maybe you'll like it so much we don't have to come back.'

'Thor.' His voice turns into a whine. 'What would Father say? And have you thought about Mother?' He tries to shake off Thor's embrace. He had given the idea more of his attention in the last time, he wants Thor to be near and whenever the logic part of his mind takes a break, he dreams of a simpler future. But he knows he is not allowed to pursue those dreams. For the blond it is simply nothing more, he'd grow tired of Loki, tired of running, hiding.

'And have you thought about us?' In Thor's eyes lies a heavy sadness.

'I am thinking of you. Asgard needs you more than I.' He musters all the conviction he can, he had told himself the same thing over and over.

Thor sighs and pulls him closer again. 'Someday you will understand.' A small smile steals itself o his face. 'Maybe you are just too young.'

'You are just two years older than me!' This is ridiculous.

'So I know what's good for you. I just need some time alone with you after all this.' He buries his nose in Loki's hair.

Loki frowns. How can he say something so sweet and still refuse to let Loki share his bed again? This just makes him want the blond all the more. Ever since Sif happened Thor had blocked all of his attempts to seduce him and had ended each of their make out sessions, claiming it'd be because of Loki's still sometimes demanding injury. Loki doesn't mind the pain that comes with breathing too fast or his heart beating too swift but Thor does unfortunately. First Loki thought Thor just declines because of their fight and uses his chest problems as a pretext to not seem to carry a grudge against him but by now Thor had more than once accepted Loki's apologies. Loki hadn't seen any sign of distrust or falseness in his eyes at those times, Thor had never been a good liar, and chosen to believe him. Can't he see that Loki simply needs him? To be near him, to be loved by him? Loki hates it but since the incident he had been more dependent on Thor and the blond doesn't seem to see it. Thor is the only thing that truly matters apart from his little one, he had come to realize that after almost losing them. That had almost driven him mad after waking up and finding he had pushed them away all those years and still kept things between them. He had wanted to prove himself wrong by lashing out, hurting those he loves the most.

'You're unfair.', he states infuriated.

Thor just laughs lighthearted. 'Why?'

'You say that and won't sleep with me.' Loki pouts.

His eyes shine with love. 'We will wait till the camping. I don't want to rush this.'

'I shared your bed more often than I would care to count.', he replies defiantly.

'I wish I would have. But I want to take this slow, like our first time. No stress, no pressing matters.' He caresses Loki's cheek.

'Like our first time?' Loki asks with a glint in his eyes. 'I was rather wanting to suck you off this time.' Loki runs his hands down his chest, Thor unconsciously leans into the touch before laughing and detaching Loki.

'After your return.'

'Is that a promise?'

The blond shakes his head. 'Yes.'

'Good.' Loki kisses him. 'In that case you can leave now.'

'What?', Thor asks flabbergast.

'I need to sleep tonight and if you won't touch me, you might as well go back to your own bed.'

Thor smiles and kisses him again. 'Since I can't say good bye on the bridge tomorrow, I think I'll take your bed as my bedstead for the next weeks starting tonight.' Loki rolls his eyes. 'So this is my good bye gift for you. A last night in your lover's arms before two sleepless nights.'

'You're getting sappy on your old age.' He presses a kiss on Thor's lips. 'But don't you dare snoring again.' Loki points a finger at him when he removes himself from Thor's embrace to pack the last things into his bags and seal them with magic. 'And if Mother sees you leave in the morning I hope you have a good excuse.' This one wouldn't be on him.

'We talked until late in the night and I slept over at my brother's because he goes on a dangerous mission in the morning.', Thor recites like something learned by heart.

Loki eyes him for a second, the removes every piece of luggage from his bed. 'That is not too horrible.', he says when Thor helps him carry them to his parlor where the servants will pick them up soon. Just one robe remains on his bed. With pure disgust Loki glares at it, then takes it to an armchair and spreads it there.

Thor hugs him from behind, Loki leans into the touch. He locks the door with a jolt of magic because he hears the servants entering his rooms.

The blond places a soft kiss behind his ear. 'I love you.'

'Let's go to bed.' Thor makes big eyes when Loki turns in his arms. Loki rolls his yes. 'I love you too, you big blundering oaf.' The smile on Thor's face is the most beautiful thing Loki's eyes had beheld in his life.

xXxXx

Despite his eagerness to catch a last peaceful sleep, Loki lies awake, staring out of the open window into the stars. Thor's steady breathing accompanies the wandering of them across the sky until the first red begins to mix into the black velvet. Loki sighs and pokes Thor's side.

'What?', Thor mumbles grudgingly, rubbing his eyes.

'I need to go. I just wanted to say good bye.' Loki slowly stands up. Thor sits up as well and rubs furiously more sleep out of his eyes.

'Right now? It must be in the middle of the night.', Thor states.

'It's nearly dawn.' He sheds his sleeping clothes and turns with dread to the armchair. Loki barely hides his scowl when he begins to dress in the light robes. They are dark green with lighter accents and offer absolutely no protection.

Thor appears right behind him. 'Be careful.', he reminds him again.

'You know I never am.'

He sighs. 'I know, that's why I worry.'

Loki turns around facing Thor. 'I'll be back in two weeks.'

'You better be.', Thor whispers back and kisses him.

Loki hesitates just for a split second. 'I love you.'

'Love you too. I need you.'

They share another kiss. 'I got to go.'

'See you soon.'

Loki smiles before leaving the blond back in his rooms. The way to the Bifrost goes by quickly as the sun rises slowly, illuminating the golden city. Just when he reaches the dome the first rays of sunlight touch the far end of the horizon. The others of his company come a moment later, Odin already awaits them.

'Good luck, son.'

'Thank you, Father.' Loki nods to him.

Odin repeats his best wishes to the rest of their group. Their luggage is already there, waiting for them alongside Heimdall. The guardian silently nods to them as they pass him. Loki smiles, remembering the first mission he had accompanied.

The light engulfs the little group and they are torn towards Muspelheim. No matter how many times Loki travels like this, it is a rush every single time. He lands just outside the obsidian city which Surtur calls his own, heat surrounds him immediately. Several fire giants escort them straight to the palace. The throne room is just as dark as Loki remembers and Surtur just as threatening.

Loki doesn't like his smile when he growls: 'Welcome, Prince of Asgard.'

xXxXx

Loki has just been away for some hours but Thor already misses him. So short a time has passed since his injury and already he is being hurled back into the nine realms. It is too soon but apparently his mother is the only one agreeing with him. Thor thought he wanted his brother to go out again and be the Loki of old but now worry consumes all his thinking. The ravenette had insisted on going and Odin insisted in Thor staying. Thor's stomach threatens to turn at the very thought of his little Loki out there alone, hurt, wandering the realms, in Muspelheim of all places. Mother had told them at least as many stories that had renewed Loki's nightmares of that dreaded realm than about icy Jotunheim. Even though many proved wrong as Thor ventured there, the unstable peace treaties still prevent a continuing trade and travel between Asgard and the realm of fire. And that Loki would speak with Surtur personally does nothing to calm Thor's nerves. The idea of his beloved in the hands of the murderer of uncounted Asgardians sends chills up his spine. Father should have let him venture with Loki for his protection.

He had tried to sleep in Loki's bed for some time until the sun is fully up. Loki's scent still lingers in the air and for some seconds he can imagine Loki lying just outside his reach on the other side of the bed. Finally he stands up with a sigh and quickly sneaks into his own chambers. The worry for Loki draws up unimaginable images in front of his inner eye though. He gets dressed and is on his way to the dining hall to grab some breakfast with his friends and afterwards talk to his father. A creak from the door makes him freeze.

'Mother?' He had sneaked around the corner and had been about to summon Mjolnir.

'Thor?' His mother pales visibly.

'Who did you expect?' Thor gets more suspicious by the minute.

'No one but you.', she answers too fast, a brilliant smile plastered on her face.

'What are you doing here?'

'I was coming to talk to you.'

'About what?', he prompts. She was too surprised to see him, what had she truly wanted in his chambers?

'Loki.' Though Thor isn't that good at detecting lies he knows this is the first honest answer she gives. Frigga seems apprehensive and not too happy.

'He probably left a few hours ago.'

'Yes. The men must have reached Muspelheim by now.', she confirms. Thor isn't any gladder than she is about the prospect.

'When he returns we want to go camping.', he informs her off-hand, trying to distract her.

'Camping? And Loki said yes?' She is as surprised as he had been.

'Yes. Why wouldn't he? We were camping quite often in the past.'

She nods and pretends not to be interested. Unfortunately for her, she has the same nervous ticks like Loki. 'Where will you go?'

'Somewhere. We will find a nice place.' Something in her voice makes him keep his chosen destination to himself.

'But you'll send us a message once you're there.', she says urging.

'Why?' Thor frowns. 'We won't need assistance. We're grown men, Mother.'

'In case we need to find you.'

'Father relieved us of our duties for a week. And moreover, Heimdall can find us anywhere.', he says knowing it is not true.

She nods but doesn't look convinced. But she can't know that Loki can hide them, can she? Sad she says: 'Alright.', as if her worst fears are being confirmed. The smile barely veils it.

'What is it, Mother?'

Frigga shakes her head but accepts his embrace. Shakily she draws a breath. 'I guess I am just worried for your brother.'

'He will be fine. As always.'

'Would you accompany me for a walk through the gardens?'

Thor smiles. 'How could I resist?'

She tries to distract them by talking again about Thor needing a woman and she even gives her opinion on some hand-picked candidates.

'You will soon be crowned kind of Asgard. You need a queen.', she repeats.

Thor sighs. 'Why is everyone so insisting about this? I've got time and if I don't marry at once, it won't be the end of the worlds. Father ruled several years without you as well.'

'Everyone?'

He shrugs. 'Loki already tried to convince me.'

'He did?' The information seems new to her.

'Yes. I don't get why either.' He should be happy that no stupid wife stands between them but he had always been like this even when they had just found each other.

xXx

'I won't marry anyone else.', Thor says defiantly. The day had been so perfect until Loki had to breach that theme.

The ravenette merely rolls his eyes. 'Don't be ridiculous. Of course you will.'

'I love you. I will not accept anyone else.'

'They won't give you much of a choice. Either you choose whom you will marry or our parents will do that for you. This way you can at least choose someone who you don't hate.', Loki reasons.

'But..'

'But what?'

'I don't want to marry a stranger. I just need you.', Thor admits in a small voice. Even after almost a decade Loki still doesn't seem to realize that.

'But as Asgard's king you'll need an heir. Something I can't offer you.' It is just like him to argue about theoretical future events. Their father would occupy the throne for another century at least, they don't have to worry just yet.

'Your magic surely would know a way around?', Thor asks.

His brother looks uncomfortable, a rare achievement. 'The outcome could be disastrous. Furthermore, we're brothers, related. I don't want a sick child.'

'Every child of you would be perfect.'

'You don't know what you are saying.' Loki looks away. 'Asgard would never accept this and you know it so every discussion is futile.'

'You'd look so pretty preg-' The icy glare of Loki makes Thor stop mid-sentence.

'I'd look pretty to you spread dead on the ground? The evil sorcerer who bewitched his brother into this sick relationship, into loving him just because he couldn't get the throne any other way. They would lynch me. Kill me and the child and replace you. Incest is punishable as you well know.'

For Loki this is the end of their discussion.

'But I could make it different.'

'To what use? You'd die with no heir left behind and civil war would reign Asgard.', Loki brushes off. 'It is socially unacceptable to marry your brother, Thor. Especially being male as well. You need a woman somewhen. Understand that finally. As soon as possible.'

'Why?'

'The people will start to talk if you don't even look for someone. They will get suspicious.'

'No one knows.', Thor tries to reassure him.

'But they will. You need to marry to keep us safe.'

'What about Sif?' Thor jokes.

The anger he had expected doesn't come but sadness settles in the depth of green eyes. 'If she is the one you choose.'

'Loki.' He catches up with the ravenette. 'I was jesting.' Ever since his short intermezzo with Sif, Loki had been even cooler towards her than before and dislike had soon turned into hate. Looking back it should have been a clear sign to Thor, he doesn't understand how he could have overlooked Loki's jealousy. It had started when Sif's black sleek hair had reminded him of Loki's glowing in the sunlight. When he bend her over, he could easily think her to be the subject of his fantasies. But the guilt he started to feel around both of them soon had been too much. Sif had been a good friend of his after all.

'Thor.', Loki whines when he stops him by standing right in front of him.

'I promise, no, I swear, I will find a way for us.' And every fiber of his being wants to believe in his own words.

Loki doesn't believe him but accepts his hug nevertheless.

xXxXx

Thor awakes with a jolt from the sudden weight change on the mattress.

'What?', he mumbles, trying to open his eyes. The light is still dim, he can barely have slept a few hours.

'Morning, love.', a soft voice whispers in the dark.

'Loki?'

A chuckle and rustle of sheets is all the answer he gets.

'What are you doing here?' A candle lights and he finally lays eyes upon his ravenette sitting on his bed with a mad grin on his face.

'I told you the matter would be settled in no time.'

'When did you return?' Thor sits up and wraps his arms around Loki.

'Just now. I went straight from the Bifrost to your chambers. I couldn't wait to see you again, not even for the horses.' Hungry lips press on Thor's, urging him.

'Does Father know?', Thor forces out between the attacks.

'No. He doesn't know I am back yet. I'll talk to him in the morning.' The grin returns. 'I have at least two hours before anyone comes looking for me.'

When Loki's stomach grumbles angrily they break apart smiling.

'Are you hungry?' Thor's eyes fall to his untouched dinner of last night.

'Starving.' Loki looks grateful. Thor just can't eat without knowing his lover is safe. 'My magic needs time to replenish. I haven't eaten anything for the last week. Couldn't dare. Trust me, the others are in an even worse condition. I could provide us with water, checking every drop of it but didn't trust the food. Enough people died already by poisoned food prepared by there brutes.'

'They wouldn't dare.'

'Who would prove it was their fault?', Loki retorts.

Thor quickly grabs the tray and carries it to the foot of the bed. Loki's eyes twinkle in the candle light.

'How did it go?'

'Smooth.', Loki says, taking a bite from the bread. 'As I said, no problem, he was just testing his borders.' He moans shameless when he tries the cold meat. He continues telling Thor some basics of their journey while eating as fast as he can.

'I missed you so much.', he confesses. 'And I'll show you how much when I am done eating.' Loki winks.

Thor chuckles. 'You are tired. Eat up and let's go to bed.'

Loki shakes his head, sending his hair flying. The sauce he swipes from his lips shouldn't be nearly as arousing as it is. It's been simply too long. Why just had he insisted on them staying separated for so long?

'No way. I am back, you promised.'

'I promised we'd go camping.', Thor corrects, wanting to stick to the plan.

'Oh, come on! You must be as desperate as me.'

'Maybe.', Thor admits.

'Maybe?' Loki lifts an eyebrow and eyes his groin. He hadn't realized how much their little reunion and Loki's sloppy eating manners had affected him. 'I could take care of that.', the ravenette offers, biting his lip.

'No.' The intensity of his stare makes him pant. 'One week, okay?'

'Fine.', Loki says grudgingly. He drops an apple and quickly bends over to retrieve it from the ground, presenting his formidable backside to Thor. A low possessive growl forms in Thor's throat. Loki smirks seeing Thor's expression.

This will be a long week.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **Thank you for reading, and special thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted and reviewed. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I kept my promise as to not go in too deep into diplomatic matters. :D So, bye for now!**

 **PS. I wasn't sure whom to credit for the quote and Cap seemed a poor choice. And I hope the small flashback wasn't too confusing.**


	19. Chapter 18 Chocolate

Chocolate

 _There is no end to learning.  
Robert Schumann_

Loki seems tired above all but he refuses to sleep yet. The trip must have greatly exhausted him as he has seen it as his personal responsibility to ensure everyone is safe and sound. The one time they had been to Muspelheim together, Father forbade them to eat or drink anything offered and always kept a guard near them. The peace was never stable and they shouldn't offer themselves as easy prey. Thor doesn't doubt Loki did the same. Happiness washes through Thor though that Loki is finally back in his arms, sitting on his bed and tells him all about the ridiculous attempts of the fire giants to trick the trickster, he wears a big grin on his face. This free and careless even Thor doesn't see him often. He just wants to forget about the past few months, the uncertainty and their fights, and just start fresh. So he will have to wait a little longer to appropriately celebrate their reunion. Loki won't make this an easy task, Thor can tell.

'And the library! They may be brutes and despicable but their library is at least as formidable as Asgard's. It is almost worth the trouble of having to deal with them.'

Thor raises his eyebrows. 'You had time for the library?'

'What else should I have done all night while having to guard the others than reading? And I couldn't take my books with me. Plus,', he points out, 'I learned quite a lot. After deciphering their writing at least.'

'Like?'

'Their culture, some ideas for new daggers, somethings about magic.' He still chews on his dinner. 'Though I've never been too good with fire spells.', he muses.

Thor snorts. 'What about that one time in the forest when you almost burned it down?'

'That wasn't my intention!' Loki glares halfhearted at him.

'It was quite a show.' Loki' laugh is like a melody.

There is a soft knock on the door. 'Thor, have you seen..?' Further Frigga doesn't get before she lays eyes upon Loki.

'Mother.' Loki stands up and hugs her closely.

'Since when are you here? Oh, I am so glad you're alright.', she cries out against his chest.

'I just came back.' He releases her. Her eyes land on the tray. 'I was just about to come to you.'

'You should have called me, Thor.', she scolds her eldest before turning back to Loki. 'We were so worried.' They walk over to the bed Thor still sits on.

The ravenette frowns slightly. 'I send messages every day.'

'Still. It's good to have you back.' She smiles warmly at the brothers when Loki resumes his eating, but the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes which dart between them. Thor resists the urge to touch his lips to find out if they are swollen like Loki's. His eating is at least an excuse for that.

'I just needed to see a familiar and friendly face before facing the vultures at court and I guessed you'd already sleep.' Loki explains, noticing her stare as well. 'And then I got distracted.' He motions to the food which is almost gone. 'I apologize for not informing you immediately.' Loki bows his head slightly.

'No worries, sweetheart. I just feared like any mother would.' Frigga pauses briefly. 'Your father wishes to hear your report in the morning. You should rest a little.'

Loki nods, eating the last of the bread.

'Shall I accompany you to your rooms?', she offers.

'That won't be necessary. I would like to catch up with my brother a little longer.', Loki lies smoothly.

'Thor also needs his sleep.', she almost snaps, then stands up and beckons him to follow.

'Sure, Mother. I am sorry to have interrupted your nighttime sleep. I will see you in the morning, I assume, brother.' His voice is cold with civility.

'Yes. Good night, brother. Good night, Mother.' The second the door closes behind them, Thor's mind begins to race. Why had she insisted to leave with Loki? Thor shakes his head. He had no need to concern himself with that right now. If she'd know, she would have said it. He cuddles back under his covers, wishing Loki would be there. He regrets his former decision to wait but at least like this, Loki won't try his patience. He falls asleep with the thought that tomorrow he will be up for a lot of mischief.

xXxXx

A dream couldn't be better than this reality. A firm hand strokes his groin, a warm body presses against him while sweet lips work down his neck. A moan escapes Thor's mouth and he smiles widely before realizing this feels far too real for a dream.

'Morning, glorious.', Loki whispers into his ear.

'Loki.', he tries to scold him but it comes out as a moan. Loki's hand slips into his pants. The skin to skin contact feels amazing. 'Stop, please.' Thor already feels his resolve slip away when he turns to face his lover.

'You don't really want me to stop. Why would you?' Loki climbs on top of him and licks down Thor's neck. Thor's hands come up involuntarily and stroke Loki's sides, going down to cup his bottom. Loki moans approving. And that wanton moan completes Thor's erection within seconds. Hungry Loki claims his lips, effectively shutting him up. He wants for the ravenette to stop so they can later cherish this moment but his body reacts on his own.

Loki kisses down his throat and Thor pulls himself together. 'Loki, stop. I don't want to.', he says with as much conviction and forcefulness as he can. Loki's face comes up and is an expression of shock. His lips hover millimeters above Thor's.

'I am sorry, I overstepped some boundaries.', he breathes, hurt clearly showing in his eyes. Quickly he rolls of Thor, staring for a moment blankly at the ceiling. He looks horrified. 'I better leave you alone, brother.' Thor's heart aches when hearing that dreaded word cross his lips. 'I am truly sorry.'

'No, Loki. Stay.'

'No. No, no. I should really leave. It was inappropriate. Don't feel guilty. It is my fault. No surprise you don't trust me yet. I-I clearly ignored your wishes. I will see you later, brother.' His voice is monotone as he tries to keep all emotions out of it.

With sad eyes Thor watches him go. It hadn't been his intention to throw Loki out. The hurt in those green eyes breaks his heart. Some explanation is due if Loki thinks like this and doesn't give him a chance to rectify the situation. Thor enjoys the simplicity of their current state, he wants to feel close to Loki without the burden of forcing it. A closeness that had been there just at the beginning of their relationship. He wants Loki to feel his love, not just lust.

Thor gets up some minutes later with a heavy heart to get ready for the day and rings for a servant to get his breakfast. He doesn't feel like company right now with his lover in such a distressed state. No doubt the ravenette withdraws himself from breakfast as well and sits either in the garden or in his rooms, brooding.  
The servant who brings in the tray informs him of the king's wish to be present at the presentation of the results his brother had achieved on Muspelheim. Thor nods and quickly eats some bites before his appetite leaves him again. Sighing Thor leaves early and is the first to arrive in the throne room.

Slowly all the counselors stream into the room, already berating the given information Loki had sent the days before. Thor takes his place at the right side of his father once Odin takes his seat, his brother waits at the side of the hall to be summoned. Though Thor had waited at the side for the others, he hadn't dared approach him here in front of everyone.

Thor sighs. Another long session of discussion is ahead and he already has the prospect of talking to Odin tomorrow in private. His father was serious about the matter, it seems to be an unofficial announcement. Thor hopes they won't speak about Sif.

He is so caught up in his thoughts, he misses the beginning of Loki's exploits. 'That are the new agreements Surtur approved of, they are in all of our favor, I believe. Not accepting any food was of course considered rude but underlined my pretense. That we weren't there for enjoyment. Surtur quickly grasped that this was no argument but a demand by us. He gave in faster than anticipated. He must have realized the foolishness of his plans.' Loki seems to be quite pleased with himself. The proud smile on Odin's face must be balm for his soul.

'You have done well, my Prince.', one of his father's counselors acknowledges what Odin never could, at least the ravenette wouldn't accept it with their current problems.

Loki merely inclines his head. A warm smile spreads on Thor's face. He would never be able to do what Loki does with such easy grace. Apparently his brother had succeeded in making Muspelheim not only agree to every single point of their arrangement the counsel had insisted upon but also some additional ones which will benefit Asgard. He admires and sometimes envies Loki for his skill.

They ask and discuss several details before Odin dismisses the court to sign the forms and send them back. Mother makes her way to Loki but Thor is faster.

'Would you like to ride out?'

Loki catches a glimpse of red hair on the way to them. 'Sure. Let's go.' They quickly leave the halls and hurry out of the palace. The stables come into view.

'Will you take Sirdal or Sleipnir?', Thor asks, knowing how difficult the decision is for Loki.

He seems to think about it. 'Both could need a little exercise.', he reasons, chewing on his lip.

'I could take Sirdal if you'd allow it.', the blond offers.

Loki eyes him questioning, weighing his words.

'My horse had a lot of exercise the last week. The palace was so empty without you, I couldn't stand it. He could need a small break.', he shrugs when a black eyebrow is raised. Loki smiles grateful and goes straight for the last box while Thor greets Loki's horse and bridles him.

Thor also pretends not to hear Loki's whisper when he talks to Sleipnir nor see his loving smile or the joyous gleam in his eyes when he leads the stallion out of the stables. Loki believes he wouldn't understand but Thor finally thinks he does. The horse has its place in the trickster's heart, had been there for him when Thor had not only ignored but defied his brother because of his feelings. Loki had never been too great with people but horses as well as other animals had always listened to him and he loves them.

'That's exactly what I need. A long ride through the forest with my brother at my side.' His hand touches Thor's shoulder. 'The autumn air will be nice. That's what Muspelheim is truly lacking: fresh, cool air and a soft wind.'

'Don't get too comfortable in other realms, Loki.', Thor chides him laughing.

'I'd always take you with me.'

'I shall hope so. We will have many great adventures. But first, you must tell me now everything that has transpired. I missed you.'

Loki smiles when climbing his horse and they ride out of the stables. Sleipnir clearly is not happy to trot so slow. How he could never notice the nature of their relationship before, Thor can not fathom.

They spend a nice day out of the palace, just spending time with each other. They pause in the late afternoon and kiss lazily under the still warm sun. Thor hovers over Loki, taking in every detail of the gorgeous face, he just draws back when it gets too intense.

'It's okay.'

'Loki, I want it to be special, that first time. I don't want to waste it.', Thor starts.

'Anywhere, anytime with you is special to me.', Loki smirks.

Thor kisses him. 'I don't want to rush. Our happiness is more important to me than any physical contact. Holding you like this will always be enough. I just want to be.. I want to earn your trust, I want..' He struggles with the words. 'I want to love you like you deserve it. I'm not angry with you anymore, do not mistake my hesitation for not wanting you. I just want it to be like the first time, just this simple and easy as life was back then. It will be all the sweeter, I promise.'

'What was that?' Loki frowns, trying to angle his head to look behind the blond.

'I heard nothing.' Thor looks in the same direction.

'I feel watched.'

'It's nothing, love.'

Loki looks back at him. 'I just thought I..'

'Do you think anyone could sneak past your friend there?' He points to Sleipnir and Sirdal.

'No, you're right. Sorry. Where were you?' Loki lies back down.

'I love you.'

'I love you too. And I understand. I am just impatient, I guess. It's been long. You lying on me like that isn't helping either.' Loki smiles.

'Will you make it one more week?' Thor leans down and whispers in his ear: 'This will need time and I want you to scream my name on the top of your lungs, love. Can't do that with all these people around.'

Loki shivers beneath him. 'Fine, one week. But-' He grabs Thor's hand with which he had caressed Loki's cheek. 'I want the best fuck I ever had. So you won't touch yourself till then.'

Thor groans. 'As if that would help by now. Deal.'

Loki grins. 'It'll help me knowing you suffer too.' He bucks his hips. The delicious friction elicits a moan from Thor and the ravenette.

'I can't await our trip.' He grins wickedly. 'Can I ask a favor though?' He bites his lip.

Thor nods. 'Anything.'

'Will you stay the night in my bed? I can't sleep without you and I'd feel more comfortable. And I swear, no more tempting, no further- assaults.'

Thor kisses him. 'That'd be nice.'

'Thanks.' He pecks another kiss. 'Maybe I can talk you into sex after all.'

'Loki!'

'What?' His grin is positively mischievous. 'I am the god of chaos. I have a reputation to maintain.'

xXxXx

He knocks on the door, awaiting to be invited in. Last night Loki had kept his promise and simply cuddled into his arms. Every now and then his hands may have flitted a little low but nothing the blond couldn't handle. Thor is sure it had been the first real nighttime sleep his younger brother had gotten since before Muspelheim. It certainly is the first one he got without being woken by nightmares.

A servant opens the door to Odin's study next to the throne room and then leaves the stunned prince alone with the king. Such an official form Thor hadn't anticipated. Odin is in his regal robes, Thor feels oddly under-dressed in his tunic. He bows slightly in the traditional way with his hand placed over his heart when his father looks expecting at him.

'Sit down, son.' His voice booms through the room. Thor quickly takes a seat at his writing table opposite to his father.

'You wanted to speak to me, Father.' It comes out more like a question than he wants. Odin sighs and stands up, then starts to pace through his study.

'I am growing old, son. I have prepared everything to step back from my duties and leave the burden of the throne to the next generation. Within the next moons I will take you with me to every duty and prepare you to take these over completely and not just witness them.' Odin had taught his son almost everything there is to know about ruling this kingdom and heard his counsel about matters. Thor is not sure though if he can be the one truly deciding matters. Until now, apart from his royal duties which in the last months had been rare, he also had his warrior duties, to train and spar with Asgard's guards. Apparently those times will be over soon. 'We will start once you return from your hunting trip with your brother.', Odin continues. 'Keep him close, he can teach you a thing or two. His talents will be of great use for you.' Though he admitted to his mother that they wouldn't go hunting, his father wouldn't have let him just venture out into the wild without a task. Thor will just tell him they weren't successful.

'Why me? Loki is far better in diplomatic matters.' Thor knows how much it would mean to his brother.

'You are my firstborn. The people of Asgard love you. A silver tongue is not everything a king needs.' They are a warrior race, they would never accept the sorcerer, no matter how much better he is suited for the throne. 'If everything goes as planned, your coronation will take place next summer.'

Thor looks at the dark wood of the table in front of him. 'Do you believe I am ready to be king?' He has still a lot to learn. Though he knows most of the proceedings in the palace, Thor kids himself not to think he could rule a whole country.

'I would not leave the throne to you if I wouldn't.' Odin rests a hand on Thor's shoulder. 'I won't let you go through this alone. I will be at your side for as long as you need me.'

Thor nods, not feeling any better about the prospect of so much responsibility being placed on his shoulders. He had always known this day would eventually come, and had in equal shares looked forward and dreaded it.

'As a crowned king, you will be in need of an heir as soon as possible.', his father begins slowly.

'That's why Mother insists on me finding a wife.' The noose is slowly tightening on him.

'I asked her to approach you about this matter. A political marriage would of course be good for the realm but I want you to be happy as well. Have you yet chosen a spouse?'

'No, Father. Nor do I wish to.'

Odin sighs. 'It will be necessary to have a wife at your side. You will realize that soon. A royal would be desirable, she'd know the ways of court.'

Thor remains silent. How can he ever explain this to Loki? His parents would urge him into a marriage, with his consent or without it.

'I know of your.. involvement. As a king you will have to be more discreet about such matters should you choose to continue it.'

'It won't be a problem.' Loki would never have him should Thor marry. That much Thor knows about his lover, he'd hope Thor would forget and be happy. He'd not only lose his brother and every chance of happiness at once, he'll be forced to smile through the whole ordeal. Not even a whole year is all they have left and that time will be tainted by Thor's new duties. Thor chews on his lip.

'Can you tell your brother I wish to speak to him?'

'May I ask what about?' Loki should not hear the news of their impending end by their father.

'Something that was long due.', he mutters and looks out of the high windows, his back turned on Thor. 'But after your trip will be soon enough. Let him enjoy himself.' His voice is unusual soft and uncertain. 'Forget about it.', he adds in a stronger voice. 'And have fun.'

The last days of freedom have begun.

xXxXx

Thor sits on a sofa in a side chamber in the far end corner of the palace. Next to no one ever comes here safe for his friends and him. His thoughts race around what his father had offered him and how it would affect his life. The sun stands high in the sky, making the city outside the window sparkle, mocking the storm clouds in his mind. This would be his life from now on, sitting alone in a secluded corner, brooding.

'I've been looking for you, brother.', Loki grins so infectious, Thor finds himself smiling back despite the dark thoughts swirling around him.

'What for?' He had searched the ravenette before coming here to talk and take his mind of the matter but had not found a single sign of him nor had anyone else seen him all day.

'I have a surprise for you.' Loki jumps on the couch and climbs on his lap.

'Loki.', Thor scolds him, eyes scanning the door.

Loki merely shakes his head a little, signaling him he had taken care of them being walked into. 'Do you trust me?', he asks in earnest.

'Yes.', he says with every ounce of conviction he feels.

'Good.' The grin is back on the handsome features. 'Close your eyes.'

'Why?' Thor narrows his eyes.

Loki waves him off. 'Just do it.' Thor sighs but complies. He can feel Loki shifting on his lap, leaning closer. 'How I love you doing what I want.', he breathes into Thor's ear, wickedly. 'Open your mouth.' The cold breath ghosts over his skin, making the blond shiver.

'What is your surprise?' He can't help but asks, his breath slightly hitched.

'You'll like it, I promise.', Loki purrs. Thor opens his mouth and something is promptly shoved into it. He is about to complain when his brain catches on and he opens his eyes, looking into Loki's gleaming ones. Thor shoves the object around with his tongue, relishing in the sweet taste emitting from it.

'What is that?', he asks around the object slowly melting on his tongue. 'It's good.'

Loki chuckles. 'I thought you'd like it.' He flops down next to Thor. 'And I know how much you love Midgard.' He pulls out a flat package from his unfathomable pockets. 'It is called.. 'Chocolate'.', he reads out loud as if tasting the word. 'Such primitive runes, they are barely legible.' He shakes his head.

'Where did you get it?' Loki eats a piece of the substance and gives Thor one, too.

'I have my ways.' His eyes glow with mischief. 'The merchant recommended this one but I got some other stuff as well. Though we thought this is the best.'

Thor decides not to question the use of the word 'we'. 'You have an excellent taste, brother.'

He smiles. 'I just asked for something to make a child happy with.'

Thor bumps their shoulder playfully. 'Almost better than Mother's cakes.'

'Almost?' Thor laughs about Loki's indignation.

'It's the best I've eaten in a while.' He snatches another piece of the treat.

'Hey!' Loki is fast as lightning on his lap again, kissing him hard. Surprised Thor lets him snake his tongue into his mouth, relishing in the taste of his lover mingled with the sweet. Just as quick Loki draws back, having successfully stolen the chocolate from Thor's mouth. 'You don't deserve it.'

'You little tease.' Thor flips them, pinning Loki down, trying to get it back. But Loki slips out of his embrace.

'Oh, you wish.'

'How much of that did you have?', Thor inquires smiling.

'Too much.' Loki admits grinning, still shielding the sweets form him. 'Maybe something else will be more of your gusto.'

Soon they are laughing, trying the food his brother had brought with him when the door opens. Loki must have removed his spells.

'Good day to you.', Loki chimes at the warriors three entering. 'Come and join us!'

'Hello.' Fandral eyes them warily. Usually such a hearty greeting would be Thor's doing.

'My brother has found formidable treats.'

'I have more than enough.'

They ask where he got those from, they wouldn't know anyone dealing with Midgardian food but Loki answers with the same ominous words as before. Seeing his brother smile like this, Thor can almost forget about their father.

xXxXx

It gets harder and harder to concentrate properly on daily life with the golden Adonis crossing his way every few hours. By now it had been months since Thor last touched him and slowly but surely that takes its toll on the trickster. Loki grows desperate. Before Thor, he had not knows such an insatiable desire.

The first night when Frigga had taken him out of Thor's rooms, Loki had accepted that there'd be enough time for them the next day, with Thor and him not being as tired as he hated to admit to be. For the first time he would have been able to sleep in peace without the fear of not waking up again. There had been many sleepless nights in his past, some more voluntary than others.

On the second night away from Asgard Balder had kept watch and Loki couldn't sleep. He started wandering through the palace, then flicked through some volumes in the library when he saw it. The elegant, downright simple, solution to the problem he had pondered for weeks and moons, maybe even years. There it was, ready to be seized and used. Loki doubts anyone there in Muspelheim knows of the treasure hidden in their books, he doubts anyone without his extensive knowledge in that matter would even recognize it.

He had finally found the answer and it had worked flawlessly. He can't regret all those lonely nights in the royal library of Muspelheim seeing the sweet smile on his little one's face. The small trip they took together to that realm of mortals had worked perfect. Of course Loki had made sure it would be safe. So he had gulped down an elixir to keep him awake that first night back in Asgard and called upon his magic to travel like he always dreamed of doing. After almost without problems teleporting himself to a remote corner of Alfheim, he had kept his promise. He had promised him the very first trip and the grateful smile and the with wonder gleaming eyes had been compensation enough.

But it drains his magic resources so he would make sure in the future to just use it for emergencies because he felt quite helpless for some hours after teleporting. Then again, he had felt the same way at first when traveling just in the same realm, his magic would get used to it. Loki hasn't told Thor about this new aspect of his powers but he soon should.

Thor clears his throat.

'Sorry, I got lost in thought.'

'I could see that.', he laughs.

Loki looks down at the book on his lap and continues reading out loud. It is one of their old books. The last few days it had become a ritual between the brothers to pass the time and spend it together like this since Frigga would search for them more regularly since Loki's return. They will have to be careful until she stops following them everywhere.

Tomorrow they'd finally leave the palace behind them for a last wonderful week. The weather is perfect, as his brother promised, the winds are still warm and the leaves barely start to color. His bag is already packed for several days as no doubt is Thor's. They need this break, they deserve it.

After all, Thor will marry soon and Loki vows to himself not to ruin his marriage. Thor would have to leave him behind and Loki will smile for him even when his heart breaks.

 **xXxXxXx**

 **Hello guys :) Hope you had a great Thanks Giving!**

 **Couldn't resist that last dark thought, but I promise, there will be some fluff and other fun activities for them in the next chapter. Some cheering up before the great storm.**

 **So, on your way out, leave a review? Pretty please? :) See you next week!**

[By the way: A 100.000 words! Yay *.* Thank you all for your support, without you, this wouldn't have ever gotten this big.]


	20. Chapter 19 On The Lake

On The Lake

 _We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan_

The sun stands low and under the leaves of the trees it is still night. Though it already is autumn, here in the depth of the forest summer still clings on the green leaves. Occasionally a yellow, orange, red or brown leaf would find its way into the sea of green or onto the ground but here in this peaceful forest, summer hasn't given up the reign yet. Soon the first snow will come, freeze the branches and color the lands in crystal blue, creating quite another wonderland in its wake. The two lonely figures walking side by side under the branches still rich in color are happy they will be long back to the comfortable hearth by the time this happens. For their plans this week snow would be quite unfortunate. Loki had spend most of the summer in the palace or the gardens as had Thor as to be at his side. The wonderful warm breezes had gone past them and they look forward to use this maybe last opportunity of warm sunshine for some summer fun.

Thor had taken hold of Loki's hand as soon as they were out of viewing distance of others and hadn't let go of it. It feels right, they just fit together perfect, Thor could marvel the whole day about it. He would like to hold his hand like this always for everyone to see that Loki belongs to him. The ravenette had been a little nervous at first but he had calmed him enough to accept this contact. Holding hands is too obvious as that they would have done it often in the past.

Most of their equipment is carried by Thor who insisted on it. Loki is still far too delicate to carry much though he protests still about this injustice. Thor can see that he is happy though, their march drains him enough as it is. They will reach their destination shortly before sunset if they can keep up their pace, Thor estimates. On the walk they finally find the time to talk about Thor's upcoming coronation, mostly because Loki confronts him about not telling him. Apparently he had heard the counselors talk about it in hushed voices. Thor doesn't even want to know how Loki had listened in.

'It's not like I didn't want to tell you.' Just not prior to their vacation.

'But? Do you believe I would be disappointed?'

'I didn't want to ruin our trip with it.' Thor looks down at his feet. The ravenette steps in his way and forces him to stop.

Gently Loki cups his face. 'I am happy for you. Congratulations.'

'Thank you.' Thor blushes slightly. How could he have assumed his brother would react any different?

'So, I will have to address you with 'my king' then?', Loki asks innocently and walks on. Fortunately, this way he doesn't notice Thor's body react to these words. Thor stays half a step behind Loki to keep it that way. Otherwise he'd never hear the end of this. He has no problems with Loki taking the lead during their encounters but his choice of words suggests he'd take control by letting Thor take control tonight, a special thrill for the blond.

'Just if you insist on 'my Prince'.'

Loki laughs, a wonderful rare sound. 'I'll give it a thought. But seriously, you'll be a great king.'

'With you at my side, certainly.'

Loki snorts and takes his hand. 'You don't need me.'

'Sure I do. Even Father says so. I will always need you.', he adds on an afterthought.

'I will always be at your service when you command, my king.' He mock-bows, mischief gleaming in his eyes.

They make a short rest for lunch on a small river bank, having made quite a distance, they made almost half the way to their designation. Loki had suggested to teleport them to the lake side they are heading for but Thor insisted on walking. Every moment he can spend with his lover alone is invaluable for him. And though he wishes to hold him in his arms and kiss every inch of his precious body, he wants this normal life with him, a life where they wouldn't have to hide away in the woods for a small touch or kiss.

The fresh air lifts the ravenette's spirits and his strides become more confident as the day advances. Loki draws strength from the nature surrounding them, that much Thor understands. After the rest they even proceed faster and the sun is just sinking lower when they reach the edge of the forest.

The sun stands low over the lake, blinding them for a moment. The other side of the crystal clear lake is barely visible, there is just a small sliver of grass offering a nice area to erect their tent between the trees and some rocks lying in the shallow water, leveling off softly to the lake side. A soft breeze carries the smell of wild flowers and early snow from the mountains somewhere in the north. The forest curves, offering protection from all sides and fencing in this small piece of Valhalla. Everything has a golden glow inviting to stay and forget about the world. Small fluffy clouds are the only thing breaking the heavenly blue slowly fading into apricot.

'It is even more beautiful here then I remember.', Loki sighs. When they were little more than children, Frigga had taken them here.

They slowly unpack their bags when Loki asks Thor to collect some fire wood.

'Don't overexert yourself with the tent.', Thor warns him and kisses his forehead. When he returns with the wood after some minutes, the tent is already propped up. 'You used magic?' Loki sits next to the entrance sorting through their food and merely shrugs, then continues his preparations for dinner.

They sit by the fire which slowly dies down as the dinner is ready. Loki shoves the food just around his plate, not really eating anything. If Thor wouldn't know better he'd say his brother is nervous. The ravenette eventually takes their plates to clean them. Thor sneaks up on him and presses a kiss on his cheek from behind.

'Ready to retire, my love?'

Loki turns in his arms and immediately kisses him roughly. Thor is a little stunned by his response but snaps out of it the second Loki wraps his leg around his hips. Cupping his bottom Thor delves his tongue into his mouth, lifting Loki up to let him wrap his other leg around him as well. Even this dressed Loki's body rubbing against his is enough to get him hard in no time. After all this time, Loki still has this effect on him. Loki runs his hands up and down his sides and back, tugging at the tunic covering Thor from time to time.

Within a few steps Thor has pressed his lover against a tree near their tent, A gasp of pain, pleasure and surprise leaves him before Loki melts into Thor's arms.

'Get rid of this.', Loki instructs him, again pulling at the tunic. Thor happily complies and braces Loki so he can drag it of his lover. Soft pale hands rake over his exposed skin.

Loki lets himself drop to the ground, removing his own tunic in one fluid motion before invading Thor's personal space once more. His eyes gleam in the starlight when he takes in every detail of the blond. Thor lets himself being shoved against the tree, kissing Loki furiously. The bark bites his back but reassures him just that this is no dream. Loki's tongue explores his mouth like they'd be kissing the first time, Thor leaves him this moment of dominance, knowing how badly Loki needs this. The blond gasps when one of his hands snakes into his pants, beginning to slowly and firmly stroke him to complete hardness. When he begins to keen the hand vanishes and Loki detaches their lips.

He places a few kisses across Thor's chest and abdomen on his way down, one hand firmly places on Thor chest forcing him to stay up, while he sinks back on his heels. Green eyes fix on his face, his lips are curling into a smile when he unlaces the strings of his pants and they drop to the ground. Loki's eyes are hooded when he eyes his prey licking his lips. He steadies himself with a hand on Thor's hip, beginning to stroke his cock with the other. Slowly he lowers his mouth, keeping eye contact the whole time. Thor's eyes almost close in bliss when the silver tongue circles the head of his cock. A moan leaves his throat as Loki sucks him down. His hand finds its way into rich black hair, gripping it as tightly as he dares.

When the tip touches the back of his throat, Thor forces himself further into that hot wet mouth welcoming him. Loki surprisingly doesn't object.

No one is supposed to look that regal with his lips stretched around a cock but for Thor, Loki is the most beautiful creature in the nine realms right now. He is mesmerized by the emerald green of his eyes fixed on him. A tiny smirk plays around the lines of his mouth which he moves up and down. His tongue glides over the length of Thor's cock, resulting in Thor thrusting in further, Loki moans approvingly around his cock and Thor almost comes from the sensation alone. The ravenette starts to bob his head, taking Thor as deep as he will go down before letting him almost slide out again.

This is his Loki and his alone. A possessive growl makes its way up his throat. Loki's hair is muzzled, sweat accumulates on his brow, his eyes are almost black. He begs to be ravished. Loki is his world, his life. Thor has to pull himself together to not thrust into his mouth with full force, Loki looks unbelievable divine, perfect and there just for his pleasure. He's the only one who ever get to see the trickster like this and he will be the only one. The throat constricts around his cock, squeezing it tight. Thor had always been impressed by Loki's lacking gag reflex.

Loki draws back completely, saliva and precome dripping from his lips. 'You're holding back, love. Use me, I need to taste you.', he says huskily before swallowing Thor down, taking his other calloused hand and places it also in his hair. Green eyes plead with him and Thor can't hold back anymore. He begins to fuck Loki's throat in earnest, growling low in his chest because of the feeling. Loki either sucks or swallows, willing Thor to come. He moans in delight.

The hand that tightens in Loki's hair is the only warning Thor gives his lover before he comes with a grunt, far too soon for his liking. Loki swallows obediently before raising on weak knees, slightly panting. Loki's eyes gleam with the power he feels surging through him to have been the one bringing this pleasure to his lover. Loki likes being used like that, it had been the best revelation of all. He loves using his Loki, Loki giving himself up to him, it is the hottest thing he had ever experienced. Thor holds him close, a small smile is tucked on both of their faces, Loki's lips are slightly swollen from sucking Thor off. The warm late-summer air embraces them. Loki's arousal is still constricted.

'Let me take care of that.' Thor opens the laces of Loki's pants, exposing him fully. He licks his lips and cups Loki's groin, applying slight pressure.

'No, I want to come with you inside me.' His pupils are still blown wide.

Thor tries to will himself to get hard again, the desire surely returns with full force immediately hearing the promise leave Loki's lips but his body is still recovering from his last orgasm and isn't ready for new stimulation. He still rubs Loki's cock, spreading the precome and using it as lubricant to smooth his motions. Before Loki can change his mind though. Thor moves his hand to his hip, pressing them together.

'Not out here.' The night is beautiful but the sight of his lover would always just be for his eyes. Loki nods weakly against his neck, having already reattached his lips to it, letting his tongue flick over the hot skin. Thor cups his cheek and presses kisses on Loki's lips. He can taste himself on them, it drives him almost crazy, Loki is pudding in his arms, their bodies melt together perfectly.

They withdraw into the tent and Loki uses his magic to create a dim light globe, enough to enlighten the interior. Thor presses Loki on the low bedstead, kissing him senseless. He licks his pale throat, whispering heatedly into Loki's ear: 'Where is the lube?'

'Black bag, side pocket.' Loki chokes out between his moans.

'Which side?', Thor mouths against his neck, leaving a mark.

His teeth gleam in the soft light. 'Both. I'm not planning on spending much time outside.'

Thor growls and hastily opens the bag, pulling out a full jar. 'Optimistic.', he states, a wide grin spreading on his face. 'On your hands and knees, love.' Usually he wouldn't prepare his love like this but Thor is impatient, he wants to see the ravenette fall apart. With Loki's bottom on display like this, it will be quicker and easier to prepare him.

His hands glide over his lower back before cupping the perfect cheeks and massaging them.

'My perfect Loki.', Thor says to himself, pressing a kiss on his bottom. Loki shivers, if because of the words or the gesture, Thor doesn't know. He opens the jar and coats his fingers generously. The first finger slips in almost without resistance, Loki immediately keens into his touch. When his third finger fits in comfortable, Loki is a writhing mess in front of him, moaning and pushing back on his fingers. Thor deliberately doesn't brush his prostate with every stroke to let Loki last longer.

'You're ready.', Thor grunts, pulling away. Loki gives a disappointed sound.

'I don't think you're quite ready though.' Loki raises on his knees and turns around facing Thor. Maybe he should have taken a little longer for preparation. 'Let's see if I can't help with that.', he whispers in Thor's ear, running his hands down his chest. One of them sneaks to Thor's lower back, sending shivers up his spine. Loki retraces some runes with his fingers just above his bottom, kissing his neck. A tingle starts where Loki touches him and quickly moves to his groin, heightening his desires.

'That's more like it.' Loki eyes Thor's prominent erection with a smirk, his eyes almost sparkle.

'Can't you then use magic for preparing?'

'Sure, but it feels much better when you do it.', Loki all but purrs.

Thor growls and shoves Loki back on all fourth, then grabs the jar with the dark scented oil again and lubricates his cock.

Loki moans and pushes back against the hand keeping him in place. 'Hurry.', he urges when Thor grips his lover to keep him steady.

'So eager, love?'

A strangled version of his name leaves the ravenette's lips as Thor pushes in. The hot tight hole welcomes him. He feels Loki adjusting around him and runs a soothing hand over his back. Thor slowly starts to thrust in when Loki gives him his okay after some moments which almost drive Thor mad. His body screams at him to rut into the pale man, it had been too long denied but Thor forces himself to slow his thrusts as to not hurt his lover. Soon Loki rocks back, deepening every thrust of him, meeting him with every snap forward of his hips. The continuing sounds of the ravenette, his whimpering, his wanton moans, the cries of Thor's name, edge him on and he sets a quicker pace, giving in to his desires. Loki can't hold himself up anymore, full in bliss and gone for the worlds, and clutches a pillow instead.

'Thor!' Loki's walls clamp sporadically around him. The blond is not anywhere near his release having come already once. It has been a while since Thor had his lover in this position. Something is strange. He grows frustrated and pulls out of the sweet hole.

'What? Thor, please!', Loki whimpers at the loss and tries to push his hips back.

'Loki, turn around.', Thor all but orders him, panting heavily. Both their bodies are drenched in sweat. Loki seems confused but moves to lie on his back. Better, much better, Thor thinks, taking in the shivering form of the ravenette stretched out underneath him.

'Why?' Loki's eyes are almost black, confusion mixes into despair for release.

'I need to see your eyes.', Thor admits, lowering himself to Loki. 'I need to see you.' With one quick motion he is back inside his lover whose back arches in the most beautiful way. Loki gasps loudly, clutching Thor's arms, probably leaving scratches. 'Look at me.'

Green eyes fix on him, full of love, desire and gratefulness. This new angle makes it easier for Thor to find Loki's sweet spot, making him see stars and scream his name over and over. He feels much tighter like this and with his love writhing in his arms, Thor now has to fight so this bliss won't end too soon. Long and deep thrusts finally send Loki over the edge. Hot seed hits Thor's stomach without either of them touching him and Thor is right there with him, coming with his lover's name on his lips. For some moments Thor stays where he is, catching his breath and looking deep into Loki's eyes before finally slipping out of him and lying down next to him.

'Satisfied, love?', Thor asks, still panting slightly.

'For now.' Loki makes himself comfortable in his arms and sighs.

He chuckles deeply and presses a kiss on black hair.

'Was it as good as you imagined?', Loki asks, turning off the light with magic.

A grin Loki can't see anymore spreads on Thor's face when he holds his ravenette close. 'Better.'

xXxXx

The next morning comes with the sun shining from a cloudless sky, enlightening the forest behind them. Loki and Thor lie lazily in the grass, enjoying this perfect weather. Loki has his eyes closed, letting the warm light wash over him. He sighs in contentment.

'Loki?'

He hums. His head rests on Thor's shoulder.

'I got something for you.' Loki cracks an eye open to glace up at his beloved's face. 'I wanted to give this to you yesterday but..'

'You got distracted?', Loki teases.

Thor chuckles, making his chest vibrate. 'Something like that.'

'So, what is it? More fun activities?' His grin widens.

'No, later maybe. I just don't want you to interpret anything into this.' That certainly catches his attention. Thor begins to rummage in his pockets, Loki eyes him skeptically before sitting up a little more. Thor pulls his fist out of his pocket and looks deep into Loki's eyes when opening it slowly for him to see, assessing his reaction.

'Thor, I-' He stammers.

'Don't interpret.', Thor interrupts him. 'Just take it.'

Tears pool in Loki's eyes, if these are tears of despair or happiness, he can't tell anymore. 'It's beautiful.', he whispers.

'Like you.' Thor shoves his hand closer to Loki.

The ring resting on his palm is silver, red rubies glisten in the sunlight. They form a ribbon around the ring. With trembling fingers Loki picks it up.

'I don't know what to say.'

'Then don't say anything.' Thor picks up Loki's hand and takes the ring out of his other, sliding it on his finger himself. It fits perfect.

'My colors suit you well.' Thor can't keep his eyes from it.

A fond smile graces Loki's lips. 'I love you.'

'I love you too. This shall remind you of that. You're always on my mind and I only would like to marry you. I will always be faithful to you and even though I might not be always with you, believe me, my heart will always just belong to you. Don't forget that, please. There is no one I would want to spend my life with but you. I don't need anything in life but you.' Thor caresses his cheek, catching a tear with his thumb. This sounds too much like something Loki never thought he could have.

They lie back down when Thor draws him near, Loki raises the hand with the ring into the sunlight, admiring the beautiful ring.

'I will need to hide it though.', Loki regrets. 'I don't want to take it off ever. Just the two of us will see it.'

'I'd love that. My promise, our bond, it's just for us.'

For a short moment the ring vanishes completely from sight, then reappears. 'I am insane to accept this.' He frowns slightly, tears of sadness fighting their way up.

'Insane to want to be happy?', Thor asks, running his hand down Loki's arm.

'To think that we could be.', Loki whispers.

'One day you will allow me.', he says with confidence.

'You will be king soon.' Loki props up on his elbow, staring at him.

'What do I need a kingdom for when I can have this?' He caresses Loki's cheek, strokes his hair.

'But the kingdom needs you.', Loki insists because he has to. His heart fills with hope, he can't allow it. It will just break him further if the hope dies.

Tears pick at cerulean eyes. 'At what cost? Is the sorrow of both of us worth it? Is our suffering the price we want to pay? I am not willing to do that, Loki. We gave up enough for a kingdom which doesn't care. It's our turn. Someone else can take over my place, be the king Asgard needs, someone who deserves to be king. I don't want the throne without you, it would be better suited on someone else, someone who wants this.'

'Thor, it is impossible.' He closes his eyes from the bright light of the truth.

'Is it? Nothing keeps us here. We could be free, we could be together. Finally.' Thor squeezes his hands.

Loki chews on his lip. 'We would have to take Sleipi with us.', he whispers, his mind racing.

'Of course.' Thor quickly agrees. 'But- is this a yes? Do you finally agree?' Thor chokes back tears.

'It means I- I am thinking. Nothing more.', he insists. 'This is no yes. But it's not a no either.' He wants to go, he wants this to be easy, the problems to be over but when has life ever been nice or easy for him? He just doesn't know if he can dare. His brain is full to the brim. Is this just the moment talking out of him or is he finally honest to himself and willing to stand up for it?

Thor's smile is a little watery when he presses Loki against his chest. 'Finally.', he breathes.

'We would be on the run.' Loki says halfhearted.

'Together. You could hide us, no one would ever find us. We could be whoever we want to be. We would be a real family.'

The blond offers everything he ever wanted. His heart hammers. 'It would have to be soon.'

'I know. We could go today.'

Loki shakes his head. 'We need preparations. I guess there are some things you would like to take. And-'

'I didn't forget about him.' Thor interferes. 'We just need a distraction for Heimdall or a good reason to leave Asgard to someplace they don't know or where we can easily hide.'

Loki chuckles when Thor goes on raving about plans to sneak into the keeper's sanctuary.

'What?' He frowns.

'We don't need the Bifrost.' The true extent of his discoveries becomes clear to him. Thor looks puzzled. 'We can go wherever we want, whenever we want.' Loki smiles smugly.

'How? The chocolate.', he gives himself the answer. It dawns on him.

'I got it myself. That is what I've been researching for the past moons, years. To travel the nine realms without using the Bifrost and being able to go anywhere from any chosen place. I never thought though we could possibly need it for other purposes than entertainment.'

'So you can get us away from here without anyone noticing or knowing where we are going? They won't be able to track us?', Thor grows excited at the prospect.

Loki takes a deep breath. 'Yes.' And he doesn't know if he simply verifies his statement or if he already agrees to run with his lover. Somehow he doesn't believe there is much of a difference anymore.

xXxXx

The first two days pass entirely too fast for Loki's liking. Between kisses that require no hiding, taking baths in the surprisingly warm lake and walks through the late summer forest, time seems to run. This morning they spend in their tent, not having had time to stand up being too occupied with loving each other. These past days their plans had taken a clearer shape, Thor tries to rip a definite 'yes' from him again. He is propped up on one arm, hovering slightly over Loki.

'We will be happy, brother.'

The endearment slips his tongue. Loki knows it was just a blunder but the weight of their decision, the gravity of their whole situation comes crashing down on him once more.

'I am not your brother.', Loki hisses, slipping out of Thor's arms. The face of the blond is an expression of pure shock and hurt. Loki needs air, he needs to breathe and right now everything in this tent suffocates him. He gulps down the fresh cool air while Thor leaves the tent behind him. 'How can you say something like that? How can you still call me brother? I am not your brother! I will never be again. After all that has transpired you still dare to call me so?!', Loki nearly shrieks. 'We're alone. There is no need to pretend! I thought that is the whole reason for this trip, so we can stop pretending we're still anything like brothers.' Tears of anger pick on his eyes. 'After all we've done you still think of me like that? We are no brothers and nothing will ever reverse that.'

He knows it slipped but it made all his frustration, his despair *wallow* up surface again, resulting in him yelling the unfairness into the sky, trying to push back the realization of the extent of their misery.

'Loki.' Thor takes a step towards him while he talks himself into a rage.

'No, no, Thor. Get it finally in your head. We're not brothers anymore. We both made sure of that. And I don't want that!'

Thor takes another step towards him. 'Do you think I want that? But if we go back we have to go on pretending.' His voice is strangely quiet.

The first tears spill over. Thor comes closer to hug him.

A noise from the forest side lets Loki quickly wipe his eyes and stops Thor.

'We thought you could need company but we didn't know how much.', Fandral notes dully, eyeing the brothers suspiciously.

'Well, looks like you don't need my company anymore.' Loki can't fathom how much they heard or what they might interpret but he needs to get away or he might break down. He casts a glance at Thor for the show before vanishing from sight, tears still stinging in his eyes.

 **xXxXxXx**

 **Hello :)**

 **Thank you for all the favorites and follows :3 They mean very much too me.**

 **In my defense, Thor felt dominant and Loki didn't mind. But well, after all this smut and fluff we deserve a break, so next week we'll get back to the drama :)**

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	21. Chapter 20 Truth

**Hello :)**

 **Short warning: Some of the sentences used in this chapter are from the first Thor-movie and with that don't belong to me. And one is a slightly different version from the third Hobbit movie.**

 **Hope you enjoy reading. Until then.**

* * *

Truth

 _This is the curse of every evil deed,  
That, propagating still, it brings forth evil.  
Friedrich Schiller, The Piccolomini  
_

No, no, Thor. Get it finally in your head. We're not brothers anymore. We both made sure of that. And I don't want that.', Loki yells in his direction, tears on the brim of overflowing. Thor wants to kiss the expression from his face, wants to hug him, reassure him he'd never be just his brother for him, wants to explain that for him his brother means everything, that it's as much an endearment as 'love' because they are so much closer, because Loki taught him to associate the word 'brother' with his lover, his friend, his life.

This is the moment when his friends decide to step in, ruining any chances to comfort his now crying lover who vanishes with an acid comment, Thor knows not where to. He hopes Loki will come back, he isn't angry at Thor but at their situation and all the bliss of the last days has just shown them all the more what a dilemma they call their lives.

Thor turns to his friends who just leave the edge of the forest behind them after staring at the spot where Loki had stood mere moments ago. Anger boils up but he tries to ignore it and smile at his friends, he fails miserably. They hadn't ruined his chances to make up with Loki on purpose.

'What are you doing here?' It comes out more accusing than he intended.

'We're here for company.' Fandral smiles, trying to lighten the mood.

'This was supposed to be just Loki and me.', Thor states, not quite ready to forgive his friends just yet.

'We thought you could need a rescue. And we weren't wrong as it seems.' Volstagg raises an eyebrow, daring Thor to disagree.

'I didn't need a rescue.', Thor forces out between his teeth.

'Than what was that about? He was about to jump your throat. We heard him yelling from afar.', the red head claims.

'I've never seen him in such distress. I'm impressed you stayed that calm.'

Thor sighs. 'I am starving. Why don't we first make breakfast?'

'Agreed.' Volstagg beams.

The four friends quickly light a fire and prepare the food.

'So?', Hogun prompts after everyone had received their share. 'What is this really? I thought you'd get along better by now?'

'Not according to Loki apparently.', Fandral chimes in.

Thor chews on his eggs to gain some time. 'It's complicated.', he settles for this non-committing answer.

'From what I heard it isn't. Loki doesn't want to be your brother anymore. So what happened between the two of you?'

Thor sighs. 'We fought a lot, things were said.' It wasn't today but it is no less true.

'But I thought you settled the matter?', Fandral half-asks.

'Not for his sober mind, friend.' His sober mind would probably ruin again Thor's chances to get him to agree to leave.

'So you pretend to get along? Since when?'

'For some time now we pretend to still see each other as brothers.', he rephrases.

'But everyone knows you aren't the best friends.'

'Mother insists on a good relationship, Loki wants to do her the favor.'

'That's why you are on vacation? To pretend it gets better?'

'Yes, but also to get away from everyone for a few days and drop the act.', he confesses though they won't understand. The questions start to wear on him. How is his lover just coping with these half-truths?

'It doesn't seem to work though.', Hogun observes.

'What? Why?'

'Because your mother send us after you to make sure you wouldn't do anything you'd regret. We needed two days to find you.', the ravenette explains. Thor frowns, he hadn't thought their mother would think they don't get along.

'Has Loki yelled at you all the time like that?'

'No, we haven't spoken much. We.. busied ourselves.' Thor ignores the faint blush that creeps on his face.

'Where do you think he went?'

Thor shrugs. 'No idea. Hopefully not home.' Silence drops over the group as they continue their meals.

Fandral nods, chewing on his lips. 'Can I confess something? And you won't be mad?'

'Sure.', Thor answers confused.

'I thought the reason for all this secrecy was that you and Loki'd...'

Thor almost freezes and tries to play his nervousness down. 'Loki and I what?', he asks a little too loud.

'That he was your maiden.', Fandral says in a small voice, looking anywhere but Thor.

'Fandral! How can you? Thor is honorable and Loki may be up to nothing but mischief but even he knows limits.', Volstagg exclaims heated.

'I am sorry, okay? I completely misjudged it. I am truly sorry, Thor.'

'You're forgiven.', Thor says with a monotonous voice, not trusting himself. 'It wasn't fair to keep this from you.' They think he veils his anger because he gave his word, not realizing he tries to keep the hurt and shock from his face. Their reaction shows him that Loki was right all along. They would never accept this relationship, well, apart from Fandral apparently. The blond had kept this to himself. Thor wonders why but only for a moment.

For Thor the only question left now is when he can get his lover off-world. The sooner, the better.

xXxXx

He flees because he has to. He couldn't stand their judging eyes on him if they guessed the true meaning of his outbreak, nor the stares if they didn't. He is the evil Loki, jealous of Thor and just trying to make him lash out in an attempt to twist it for himself.

Loki teleported himself back to the palace, not wanting to be near to hear Thor either deny their bond or to have him ruin their lives by admitting it. The palace had been the first place on his mind, he can maybe go to the stables or out into the gardens as to seek comfort, maybe he'd just go to his rooms until it'd be dark enough to sneak back. He landed almost on the opposite side of the palace, having been too emotionally compromised to concentrate properly. Silently he makes his way through the hallways, his mind racing.

Loki doesn't pay attention which way he takes or where he generally walks.

This had been the last impetus he needs to finally agree with Thor. They would never be happy here and they can no longer be brothers, even if just on the outside. With his abilities they would be able to leave Asgard, maybe even the nine realms behind them. They would be free to be whoever they went to, they could be a family, different from what they are forced to be now. A plan begins to ripe on his mind. Most of the realms he rules out at once but stops at Midgard. It might be primitive but again big enough to vanish there. Thor loves it furthermore. He could use the full extent of his powers and hide them permanently from the keeper's gaze which is easier than diverting it anyway. He can see their life in front of him, the life they deserve, not the one they are forced to live. Maybe he could fake their deaths, make it easier for them and their family. He'd find a way to carry Thor's children, somehow.

'You're back.', Frigga has a small smile tugged on her face when Loki raises his eyes to meet hers.

'Mother.' Realization hits him. 'You send them after us.', he says before he can stop himself. That's why she is not surprised to see him.

'Yes.' She doesn't even deny it. 'I was already waiting for you. Your father and I want to speak to you.'

'Without Thor being near.', Loki concludes.

She nods. 'He is very protective over you. And we want to give you the choice of sharing the information with him just yet or not.'

'What information?'

'Not here, please come with me.' He follows her, suspicion and curiosity fighting for the upper hand. She leads him to her private rooms, Odin sits on a sofa near the grate, waiting for them. She must have detected his magic when he teleported and informed her husband. She takes a seat next to Odin, Loki occupies the sofa opposite of them.

'How did you know I would return?', he asks the question burning on his mind, ignoring the worried sad faces of his parents.

'Loki.', Frigga starts softly. Her next words shatter the world around him. 'We know.'

Loki's mind jumps to top-speed, thousands of thoughts and possibilities playing in the mind, add up to an undefinable mess, intangible.

'Know what?', his voice sounds hollow.

'About you and Thor.' Frigga's eyes scream of sadness.

They can't know, Loki always is careful. This must be a wild guess, a test, a ruse, a filthy lie. They can't shatter what Thor and he have like this! A thousand ideas run through his head, he wants to deny it, be offended, disgusted by the sole idea, wants to magic the truth out of their heads, scream and yell his despair into the world.

One thought becomes prominent on his mind. Thor. He concentrates his seidr, enough to blow up the whole tract of the palace but instead of directing it at the cause of despair in front of him, he seeks out this beloved in the midst of the forest. The second his magic reaches him though him though, it is hurled back at him. Frigga must be blocking his attempts to reach Thor. Damn her abilities!

'How? Did Sif tell you this? She hates me, she'd say anything.', Loki says, trying to bring conviction into his voice. It can't end like this.

'No. She wasn't able to tell me. I tried to question her about who Thor is seeing. She was bewitched to not say a word about it. I knew just you would do something like that and that there could just be one reason.' Frigga swallows. 'I saw you two.' She shivers from the memory. Loki would have never guessed he'd once see disgust on her pretty face. And he wouldn't have guessed it would break his heart. 'I didn't want to believe it.'

Loki stands up and begins to pace the room because he can't stand the stares of his parents anymore. When magic won't help, maybe a lie will. He just needs to hope the blond won't be too stubborn to accept it.

'It is all my fault. Thor is under a spell of mine. He doesn't know what he is doing around me. I fell in love with him and couldn't stand him not loving me back. He doesn't know anything about us. It is all my fault, you cannot punish him.'

'Loki, I would have detected such a powerful spell on him long ago.'

Curse her! They don't believe him, Hel, he doesn't believe this shit! And without prove..

'Fine, fine! I started this whole thing! Thor wanted to talk me out of it but he felt sorry for me. I talked him into all of this, he wouldn't have wanted any of this.' He runs his hand through his hair. Loki grows desperate and almost sobs. His breath comes out in pants and he wants nothing more than to run.

'That doesn't sound like Thor at all, Loki.'

'But I should have stopped it. It's all my fault. Please. It's not his. Punish me, banish me, kill me, but please, not him.' Tears burn in his eyes and he turns to his parents. 'I am sorry but, please, don't punish Thor, he is good. I dragged him down, I poison him. Please. Not him.', he begs. He doesn't care anymore about his pride. This is Thor's life they are talking about. There is no price high enough. 'Please, it's my fault. I am to blame.'

'Loki..'

'Please, Mother. I love him, you can't hurt him.' Tears are spilling over now.

'Loki, there is something we need to tell you. Or rather show you.', he sounds sad but stern. Odin stands up and motions over to a small table Loki had payed no heed to.

'The Casket of Ancient Winters.' This is the way Odin chose for him to die? It would look like an accident. Quite poetic to be frozen to death, Loki thinks. He almost thanks them for accepting to just punish him and not his lover.

'Come, son.' On weak knees Loki crosses the room, evading looking into Frigga's sad eyes or into Odin's face full of regret. It is necessary, Loki knows.

He takes a deep breath when stretching out his hands. Maybe they'd say he'd tried to steal it after all.

'I love you, Thor. I am sorry.', he whispers too quiet for anyone to hear. His pale hands touch the Casket. It is surprisingly light, it isn't even cold. The blue hue it casts off is oddly beautiful. Loki feels his magic merging with it, being drawn towards the Casket, his wards shatter and something he never realized was there goes with them. Slowly his hands turn blue, a dark cerulean as if it is frozen. Is this punishment? He briefly wonders if the painlessness is why his parents chose this. He looks up and is about to ask when his eyes fall on the mirror. Blood red eyes stare back from a blue face. The ridges on his skin form half-circles on his forehead. The frost giant wears his features.

How? Their father.. No, Odin, had said they weren't allowed to touch the Casket ever because it would kill them without the proper protection and had so effectively kept Loki's curiosity for it at bay. Now the truth why he never might have touched it is revealed.

'Am I cursed?', Loki asks, hope swings in his voice when he places the Casket back on the table.

Odin shows up behind him in the mirror. 'No.' Finally Loki can place this last layer of magic that has been washed away. His shape-shifting, the natural ability he had from birth, he never realized he's constantly been using it. His pale skin and green eyes slowly replace the monster staring with big eyes at him. A realization too horrible to be true dawns on him.

'You took more than the Casket from Jotunheim in the last war, didn't you?' He now realizes that what he thought would be his usual magic buzzing in him is actually him using it without knowing it. It feels natural to be of Asgardian shape, he never wasted a thought about this sensations. It's the only logical deduction. How could he have been so blind his whole life? He doesn't resemble anyone in the family, he is never cold, he was born within days after Odin's return from one of the longest and fiercest wars Asgard can remember, the hate of the others he supposed are his race, his magic, his attraction to men, ..

'Yes.', Odin confirms his worst fears. Loki turns to him. He wants to be angry, wants to rage but hopelessness curses through every fiber of his being. 'When the last battle was over and their king defeated, I went into the temple. No living soul was around except for a baby. It was small for the child of a giant. I picked it up because it was alone, abandoned, suffering, left to die. The baby instantly ceased its crying and begun to change. It took on Aesir form and then smiled at me.' Loki tries to process this information. 'It was Laufey's son.'

'Laufey's son.', he repeats as if he could change the truth by it. He is king Laufey's son. He remembers his old nightmares and they slowly begin to make sense. He was cast out to die, left by his own people for his size. Even now he is smaller than any giant he ever encountered, shorter than a great deal of the Asgardians. Weak babies don't survive a war, and especially not a small runt in the icy Jotunheim. 'Why would you take me? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood, why bother?'

'You were an innocent child. And I never regretted taking you once. You're my son.'

'I am not. I am one of those creatures! You could have told me from the beginning, why didn't you?'

'We wanted only to protect you from the truth.' Frigga stands next to him, offering him her hand. Loki ignores it.

'I am one of those monsters parents tell their children about at night? I am just another stolen relic to you, a burden till the day I might be of use!', Loki all but yells. 'You wanted to gain Jotunheim's throne through me. Admit it!' Tears pool in his eyes. Is this his fate? Being unwanted by everyone because he is of no use?

'That's not true and you know that. We love you like our own son.'

'The Jotnar will never have a runt like me on the throne.'

'Loki.', his mother tries to calm him.

'You know it all makes sense now. Why you always favored Thor all these years! An abandoned frost giant could never sit upon the throne of Asgard.'

'I know we should have been honest to you, I wanted to tell you so many times but it always seemed to be the wrong time.'

'We're still your family, Loki. Nothing has changed.'

'This changes everything. If it wouldn't have been for me corrupting your son, you would have never told me.', Loki states.

'Thor still loves you.'

'Not like this.', he whispers. What would the blond say to this? His thinking stops. He's a monster, just a different one than he thought. His love might not be as wrong but just as selfish as before. Thor deserves better than some Jotun freak whose own people wouldn't even take him. Loki looks up to his once-parents, tears shining in his eyes. He finally understands why they told him. 'I am sorry. I know I never deserved Thor. I won't go anywhere near him again.' He vanishes without another word.

They all deserve better.

xXxXx

They are just about to finish their meal when Thor nearly passes out. He can feel the magic in the air.

A cold cloth is pressed on his forehead and he wakes up to the sound of his friends' voices calling for him. Memories and pictures float through his mind still but Thor begins to feel his body again and becomes aware of his surroundings once more when the stream slows.

'Loki.'

'What?'

'Something's with Loki.', Thor repeats and sits up. He'd recognize his brother's magic everywhere. What was all this about? Dread fills him but he can't place it.

'You okay?' Volstagg's brow is furrowed with worry.

'Yes.' He can feel Loki's uproar as if it's his own. His magic still hangs in the air though it can't attack him anymore.

'What was that about?'

'Not sure.' They continue to question him but he blocks of most of them. Panic turns into despair until the vibes stop completely. They stop fawning over him but worry is still evident on their faces. Thor starts to pack the bags, he wants to leave as soon as possible. He wouldn't care what they think but can't explain to his friends his urgency. He can't even explain it to himself but he needs to get to Loki immediately. And something tells him he is in the palace. Someone must have found out about them, that is the only explanation Thor finds for Loki's spell.

'Loki?', Hogun asks outside of the tent. Thor doesn't hesitate for a second to run outside, seeing the ravenette standing in the middle of the clearing with tears streaming down his face.

'What happened?', Thor asks upon seeing him, hastening towards him. Ragged breaths come from his love. 'Loki, please talk to me.'

A whimper escapes Loki when his eyes settle on Thor who had stopped a few feet away from him. 'It can't be true. It can't be. It isn't.', he starts muttering and paces the lawn in front of Thor. He seems to be still fighting down tears and sobs.

'Loki.' Thor steps in his way. His lover is frightening him.

'I am sorry, love. I am sorry.' He throws himself at the blond, clinging on for dear life, sobbing and crying. When Loki's knees give in, Thor keeps him up, whispering soothing words into his ear, kissing his hair and temples.

'Thor, I love you.'

'What is it, love?'

Loki shakes his head, still crying. 'I can't. I am so sorry. I swear I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Thor, please.'

'Whatever happened, we can fix this, together.', Thor tries to calm him.

'We can't. I love you.' Their noses touch and Loki's stare bores into his, begging. 'I love you, don't let them tell you something else. I don't deserve you but I always wanted the best for you, believe me, please.'

'Loki, everything will be alright. Just tell me.'

He merely shakes his head vigorously again before pressing his lips on Thor's. He is too confused to do anything but let Loki kiss him with all he got and hold him tight.

'Please don't hate me, Thor. I didn't know, please, I didn't. I am not a monster, don't hate me.' He begins to form incoherent sentences again.

'I never could, Loki. I love you, you're my life, my air.'

Loki's sobs grow louder. 'I am sorry, love.' He places another kiss on Thor's lips. 'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, don't doubt that I love you. Forever.' His lips barely touch Thor's. 'Farewell, love.'

Thor hadn't realized Loki had extracted himself from his arms. The tears make his face glisten in the sun.

'What is the meaning of this?'

'I can't stay here. I am a monster, I can't stay here.' Loki slowly backs away from him. 'You deserve better, I love you, don't let them tell you otherwise, please.'

'Loki, where are you going?', Thor asks with dread.

He shakes his head, keeping his eyes fixed on Thor. 'Farewell, love. You're all for the better without me. You don't need some monster ruining your lives. I love you.'

'Loki, wait.' Thor attempts to grab him but his hands only snatch empty air.


	22. Chapter 21 Fallen From Grace

Fallen From Grace

 _What if you could go back in time, and take all those hours of pain and darkness  
and replace them with something better?  
Donnie Darko_

'I love you.' Blue eyes speak of pain and confusion, beg him to explain, to stay. But how can he? His lover deserves better, not some Jotun freak monster. No wonder that his parents had always favored Thor. How could they possibly love someone like him? They are better off without him, Odin, Frigga, Thor, Sleipnir, everyone.  
He has to leave Asgard as soon as possible and enable them to live a free life. Explaining matters to Thor would be too painful, to see the love vanish from summer sky blue eyes and be replaced by hate, disgust and hostility is something he knows he cannot bear.

Loki quickly concentrates before the advancing blond can touch him and destroy his resolve. He finds the threads of reality around him and vanishes. His brain is too overworked to find a suitable place so he concentrates on his last trans-realm travel. Midgard. It is as good as any other realm, they have next to no connection to the realm he called home for so long, and he'd be able to use his magic undetected. Loki had thought for a split-second about Jotunheim, the home he had never seen, but Loki doesn't want to believe it yet. Laufey's son. Would they accept him? He cannot help but wonder. The smallest Jotun he had ever seen had still been at least two feet taller than he is, he would be seen within seconds and exposed. And he isn't quite ready to die yet.

A world starts to dissolve from the darkness and mist around him, the nothingness had drowned out a little of his thoughts, now they come back with force. A little mist stays around him and Loki briefly wonders where he is until he notices the damp. There is a tug at his body which drags him down. The clouds dissipate and the ground becomes visible. Loki is in shock and can't find it in him to react immediately. His mind cooperates and estimates the distance to be three hundred feet, dwindling quickly. The sandy desert ground comes close enough to make out details and finally he reacts. The cushion spell works, however, the impact from the fall is still enough to almost let Loki black out.

The night surrounding him is broken suddenly by a bright light coming out of the direction of his feet. Groaning Loki closes his eyes, trying to block out reality for another moment. The tears have dried on his face and he doesn't want stupid Midgardians or someone else to see him like this.

'Oh my god!'

'Where did he come from?'

Two females start to chatter and Loki hears them approaching. There are loud thuds and a third pair of feet comes after the women. They are annoying and Loki wishes they would go and leave him alone to wallow in his self-pity and despair.

'Hey, are you okay?'

'He fell out of the sky!', the higher voice all but shrieks.

'That's not possible.', a darker voice reasons. 'You're imagining things again.'

The first voice murmurs something like: 'I know what I saw..'

Loki's body still hurts and he forces himself to sit up so they won't come any closer. He is not some wounded defenseless easy prey for those brutes. He is still a proud price, just of the wrong realm. Loki forces his face into a masque, he won't show weakness. Two females come into his view. They scurry around, worry and curiosity written all over their faces. Loki raises gracefully, ignoring the stabbing pain in his leg and back. They take in his appearance, his dusty tunic and trousers, his wild hair and regal demeanor.

'Are you alright?', the brunette asks.

'As fine as can be expected.', Loki answers, taking in his surroundings. There is a big horseless carriage he had seen on prior visits of Midgard. It is emitting the bright white light. There is nothing else but sand and rocks around them. His eyes land on the man standing in the back, eyeing him with distrust. He has more sense than his companions.

'Who are you?'

Loki raises an eyebrow, ignoring the question. 'Where am I?'

'New Mexico.' After some more staring, the first female adds, 'United States.' He nods though he still has no idea where he exactly is.

'Where is the next town or city?'

'Ten miles west from here.', she answers mechanically. Loki nods and marches off into the direction indicated. He wants to vanish in the dark, there is no need to alarm someone that he is here by some unbelievable story told by the locals, it is unfortunate enough they witnessed his fall.

In his mind Loki already plans the next steps. His magic needs some time to replenish. Furthermore he needs sustenance and some sleep to speed up the process. He needs to figure out where exactly he is and where he wants to go. The town will provide at least some insight.

'Wait.'

'I am sorry, Milady.' Loki bows in the direction of the brunette. 'Thank you for your assistance but now I need to go. Farewell.'

'You should go to a hospital.', the man interrupts. Apparently he had noticed the slight limp the ravenette can't quite suppress.

'That will hardly be necessary.' His wounds already heal, plus, he doubts Midgardians could truly help him. With that he turns around and marches off. Fortunately this time these insolent mortals stay behind. The stars shine down and light his way. They look terribly wrong, so dim, so unfamiliar. He misses Asgard and, above all, Thor. He can't go back though, never. Loki barely notices the cold, just another reminder at exactly how different he is.

Asgard's people must have noticed, no surprise they hated him and shunned him out. Frost giants had always been their mortal enemies and he had lived for more then a millennia among them, their nightmare, their bane. Can he blame them now that he knows the reason? He had never felt like a part of them, it made him bitter. Odin and Frigga should have told him, he would have found a way to deal with it, to understand the distrust placed in him. He could have stayed away from his love and understood his unnatural feelings better.

The night draws on and it is well past midnight when he reaches the small town Puente Antiguo. His thoughts have got him down and he realizes halfway that he has no idea with what the people in this part of the realm pay with, much less having any of that with him. His hasty departure had ensured that he carries nothing of value on him except for the beautiful ring. But he'd rather starve than part from it. Magicking something from Asgard is no option at the moment either. Trickery and deceit would have to keep him alive for now.

Most of the houses are small, even by this realm's standards and just a few shops line the empty sandy streets. A shop just like the one he had visited earlier this week is on a street corner but unfortunately closed by now. He'd have to wait till the morning to get food and supplies for further travels. Briefly he wonders if there is an establishment nearby like a lodging house where he could find a bed to cure his fatigue. Then his gaze is drawn to some bawling men leaving a small tavern which had escaped his notice before. Quickly Loki makes the decision to first drown his panic and loneliness before finding himself a bed. He crosses the street and is already in the middle of a familiar scene when the door opens. Men are drinking, roaring and boasting to and with each other, the few women have already found their men for the evening. Loki approaches the bar directly, eyeing all the present mortals suspiciously. None of them will ask questions though he doesn't like the looks they are giving him. Loki should have changed his whole attire and becomes painfully self-aware of his not-belonging here.

'A beer, please.', Loki turns to the barkeeper. The man looks like he is about to say something but a glare from Loki's side shuts him up. At least those mortals feel he is in no mood to be messed with- A big mug is placed in front of him which Loki accepts. 'Thanks.', he murmurs. The barkeeper misses the wisps of green smoke which quickly dissipate around the money Loki places on the counter, having seen what the other costumer next to him payed with.

The drink is weaker than expected, even for something mortals consume. Soon enough Loki gets something stronger but even after half a bottle of that 'vodka', he barely starts to feel the effects of the alcohol. He leans on the counter, tracing the rim of his glass when the door opens once more.

'There he is!'

Loki groans. Please, not them again. He takes a deep swig from the bottle the man had left on the bar for him as the small brunette hops into his field of vision.

'Hi, I am Jane Foster.' Loki watches her out of the corner of her eye. 'We were looking for you. I hoped you could answer me some questions maybe?'

'Listen, Jane, thank you for your help but I am no longer in need of it.' He knows he should say it but the words don't leave his tongue. Like it's frozen, he thinks bitterly.

'These are Darcy and Dr. Eric Selvig.' She motions to the other two waiting in the background.

'Loki.' He refills his glass and turns a little to the insolent mortal.

'Nice to meet you. What were you doing out there?' Real curiosity shines in her eyes.

'Lying. Thinking,' He downs the drink.

'Yeah, but why out there?'

Loki shrugs. 'Seemed as good as any place.' He is tired of talking about this nonsense but chooses to have some fun with this mortal. It will show her not to mess with things she knows nothing about.

'My friend Darcy thinks you fell out of the sky.'

'Well, then your friend is more perceptive than you if you doubt her word.', Loki answers nonchalantly.

'That is perfectly impossible. There was that cloud and you were lying underneath it.'

'It wasn't just there. I created it.' He had noticed the otherwise clear sky, his creation looked like a short version of the Bifrost extending. 'I needed to get away.'

'The scanners indicate that it was an Einstein-Rosen-Bridge. How?' She gets a small black book out of her bag and a pencil as if to write his every word down. She'd look ridiculous if it wouldn't be for her eyes burning with real curiosity.

'Magic.', he whispers conspiratorially, then takes another swig from the bottle.

She rolls her eyes. 'You couldn't just create it. Especially not by 'magic'. It would take an immense amount of energy and technology that doesn't exist yet.'

'Call it whatever you want. I did. And yes.'

'Magic doesn't exist.' She shakes her head.

'Right.' He extends his hand. A red blossom blooms on it and he hands it to her. Just when Jane reaches out for it, it dissolves to green smoke.

'How did you do that?', she demands to know and answers her own question seconds later. 'It can't be real, it must be an illusion.'

'And here I thought Midgardians know nothing about magic. Yes, it was an illusion. I wasn't in the mood for a real one.', Loki admits. It is truly rather fun to mess with her and show her just how limited her puny knowledge really is.

'Midgardians?' She frowns.

'Your own race. Well, that's what we call you.' Loki shrugs.

She seems skeptic again. 'And then you are?'

'As-', he stops himself. 'It is of no importance. I am no longer welcome there.' In his own ears that sounds hallow.

'Why?' Real concern echoes in her voice.

'Found something out I better shouldn't have.', he murmurs over the rim of his refilled glass.

Jane just opens her mouth to say something when the man behind the bar announces they are closing. Loki clears his throat. 'It was nice talking to you. Good bye, Jane Foster.' He stands and goes to the door.

'Where will you sleep?'

'I think my magic has replenished enough to- I'll find something.' Loki nods in her direction. He had bothered her enough for one night.

'You can crash at my place.' Though he isn't sure, he assumes she offers him an accommodation.

'Jane!', Eric scolds her. 'Can I talk to you for a second?'

'Don't run away.' She holds up her hands as if to stop him by force.

When they are a little further away Eric starts to whisper all too loudly. 'He's lying and playing with you, Jane.' Loki hears perfectly every word, not just because he listens in.

'He's toying with us but he has the answers we've been looking for. Look, even if he is lying, he knows something about what happened out there. So who cares? He was inside of that event, even if he didn't create it. He could help us understand it.' Jane tries to reason and convince her friend probably as much as herself.

'That's what he claims!

'We will never find out what he really knows if we let him go. He wasn't there by accident.', she insists.

'Just be careful, Jane.', Eric gives in with a sigh. 'He has something unnerving about him.' Loki feels his stare on the back of his head.

'Loki, was it?' Jane approaches him. 'You can sleep at my place if you want to.' Her smile is quite pretty.

'Thank you for your most gracious offer, Jane Foster.' He bows slightly. Jane and Darcy lead the way outside but the man stops him at the door. Loki braces himself for the interrogation.

'What are you doing here?' The man glares up at Loki with narrowed eyes.

He contemplates his answer. 'Looking for a place to lay low for a while. A place to think. Do not worry, I will soon be gone.'

'What are you running from?' Eric scrutinizes him, trying to place him.

Loki thinks about lying but settles for: 'The truth.', finding more truth in it than expected.

'Where do you come from? Really?'

'You wouldn't believe the answer if I told you. And you already know the answer I'd give. So why bother to ask?'

'You're dangerous.', he states. Maybe Midgardians are cleverer than he gives them credit for.

'That I am indeed. But not to you, not to your realm. Not tonight. Unless you give me reason to. But you don't believe me anywhere, I can tell.'

'Loki? Like the Norse god of mischief?' He huffs. 'I grew up with these stories. So I am sorry for doubting it.' Eric's eyebrows rise.

Loki smiles a little. 'It's okay. I'll need a new name anyway.'

xXxXx

The second Loki vanished from the lake, Thor summoned Mjolnir. She is sure to smash a window or wall but he doesn't care. He needs to get back to the palace immediately. Whatever transpired in the short hour his brother was gone, he has to find out and reverse and the palace seems a good place to start. How could Loki think something would make Thor love him any less? He seemed so frightened, hurt. What could make his brother erratic like this in such a short time? Thor will break the face of the one responsible.

Finally his hammer arrives, scaring his surrounding friends who still stare with wonder and doubt at their prince. He'd explain later. Loki is more important now.

Where could his little brother have went when he vanished from them in the first place? Various places rush through his mind but he settles for the palace first. Maybe their mother had seen something or knows something.

The flight is short though they had made quite a distance but Thor's mind is preoccupied and he doesn't take in anything until his feet touch the ground of Frigga's balcony. He hears the voices of his parents from the inside of her chambers, they are fighting but Thor just walks in, not caring what he interrupts.

'Loki is gone.', he states.

'Thor?' Frigga turns around abruptly.

'Have you seen him? He was in distress.' He looks around the room as if he would spot him, sitting in an armchair sipping tea.

'He was here but fled about half an hour ago.', she fills him in.

'Damn.' He has hoped the ravenette returned here after that time. 'So he was here before?'

'Yes, we talked about..'

'Something must have happened in between.', Thor interrupts his mother. 'He wasn't himself. Panic practically oozed from him.. We need to find him.'

His mother agrees immediately. She chews on her bottom lip.

'I will call Heimdall to find him.', Odin says.

'That won't help.', Thor interferes. It matters not, he fears Loki might harm himself. 'If he doesn't want to be found, even Heimdall can't see him.'

Frigga nods, her worst suspicions being confirmed. 'I feared as much. Then we have to send out the guards.'

'That won't do anything. If it is like I fear, he left Asgard already. He somehow managed to visit other realms without the Bifrost before.'

She covers her eyes with her hand. 'Oh, no.'

'Mother, why did he run away?' Thor remembers her odd phrasing. Loki shouldn't have had time to go anywhere else. The thought had crossed his mind but he didn't want to think about it too much.

'We- told him something he didn't take kindly. We couldn't explain.', she tries to explain.

'What was it?', Thor asks, already dreading the answer.

'Thor.' She sighs, then looks him in the eyes. 'Loki's not your brother. He is adopted.'

xXxXx

The place Jane Foster uses as a lab is at the same time a garage, a laboratory, a workplace for tinkering and a living room. Loki had never seen so much oddness in one place. There are a thousand machinery around him he does not know the purpose of. He is fascinated and repulsed at the same time. His fingers itch to try and use the devises to find out their function. At least all this over-stimulation of his senses has kept him from thinking too much. The mortals all seemed to be nice enough, he knows they just wish for answers he could not give them in a century but still. He had counted on not sleeping at all this night. Heimdall can not see him and his mother- no, Frigga, nor anyone else in Asgard won't be able to trace the kind of magic that brought him here. They won't come here for a long time but he would be gone by then.

Jane shows him a sofa as his bedstead and decides not to question him any further, just showing him to the bathroom and tells him where to find her before leaving Loki to his solitude. In the washing room he evades the mirror and just quickly cleanses himself with cold water.

The night grows old when his head finally hits the uncomfortable flat pillow and he finds himself too exhausted to fight of the sleep. Red eyes and blue skin follow him through infrequent intervals of sleep and haunt him during waking hours. When the sun colors the sky Loki gives up on finding sleep. He goes to the bathroom and splashes some water into his face. Dark bags have formed under his green eyes and his skin looks like paper.

He stares at the lie for what feels like hours and feels for his seidr, urging it to the hidden place the Casket has shown him yesterday. Slowly he lets his magic sweep away the barrier. For the first time he forces his shape-shifting to reveal his true body, this time the blue takes longer to appear, spreading seemingly from his core. Red predatory eyes stare back and the room grows cold. Dark lines emerge on his forehead and down his chest, Loki feels his skin ripple there, down to his right calf.

With a yell of fury he shatters the glass with his fist in a desperate attempt to destroy the truth with it. He shape-shifts back to his pale self, it feels more natural then this alien form. Tears stream down his face when the cold vanishes as fast as it came. With the flick of a wrist he repairs the mirror before stepping out of the small white room.

'Are you alright?' Jane comes jogging into the room. Loki blinks furiously, banishing the moistness from his eyes.

'Yes. I am sorry if I woke you. It was not my intention.', he apologizes in a small voice.

'Are you hurt? It sounded like glass shattering.' She looks past him but can't see anything unusual.

Loki ignores her questioning look. She would never have to know and she would never understand. 'You're awake early.' He notices her state of being semi-dressed. She is always in a narrower kind of tunic and some short pants.

'Yeah, I am going through last night's results.' Loki nods, not entirely sure what she speaks about. 'And you?'

'Couldn't sleep.', he confesses. Eric walks into the room, having bleary eyes and he seems not half as awake as Ms. Foster or the immortal.

'Morning.' He eyes them suspiciously. They greet him in return and Loki finds himself being ushered into the kitchen on the second floor along with the man.

'Coffee?' Jane asks looking over her shoulder.

Loki frowns and declines politely. 'Tea if you have some. Or water.' He feels like drinking something stronger again but decides against it. It would not improve his current mood.

'Sure.' Jane's eyes flit down Loki's appearance, he still wears the clothes from the lake. She hurries away after activating a machine and returns some moments later. 'Here, I hope these will fit you.' She gives him some strange pants in blue and a light blue tunic.

'Thank you. It wouldn't have been necessary.' He lifts her hand and kisses it.

She blushes slightly. 'It's no trouble.'

In the bathroom he quickly tosses the clothes on and steps out of the small room again.

'They are a little big but..', Jane notes.

Loki looks down at himself. The 't-shirt' would more likely fit Thor. The thought sends a pang through his heart. He uses his magic to make it a little smaller, then looks up to see her approval. Her eyes are wide with shock.

'I am sorry.', he mumbles and changes it back to the original. 'I did not mean to offend you or seem ungrateful.'

'How did you do that?', the brunette breathes.

'I-' Eric calls them from upstairs for breakfast. 'It matters not. I appreciate them. No disrespect was meant.' Loki bows slightly. He reminds himself that he is no longer a prince. They return to the kitchen and have a quiet breakfast. Darcy joins them in the middle of their small but good meal.

'Eric? There is something you need to see.', Jane says after placing her plate in the sink.

Darcy goes after them after some time, leaving Loki alone in the big room. Magic surges through him again. The short nap and the food had replenished most of his energy. He'd be ready to go on traveling in a few hours, though maybe he could first find out some more things about this world. It is so different from the Midgard he heard about in the halls of learning. The people downstairs could probably help him understand it better. This girl, Jane, had seemed really interested in trans-realm travel, maybe she'd be willing to trade information. Loki takes care of the dishes, then sneaks into the place they use for working.

'That is impossible. He should be dead.' Loki looks over their shoulders and sees a reproduction of a cloud ending some distance over the surface. He sees himself fall out of it and hit the ground.

'I told you!', Darcy insists. 'You didn't want to believe me he didn't just lie there.' She smiles smugly and crosses her arms. 'What is he?'

Loki clears his throat and startles them.

'What?' Darcy blinks rapidly for several times.

'I landed on your realm and miscalculated the distance to the ground and your higher gravity.', Loki clarifies.

'How?', Eric asks looking at Loki then again at the moving pictures.

'I have to admit I was in no state to travel like this. I was- distressed. I am lucky I landed somewhere.'

Jane instantly shuffles through some papers. 'Why there? I already watched several occurrences at that point. Why did you land there?'

Loki frowns. 'I believe at that time it was the shortest distance between our worlds. I am not sure how familiar you are with the movement of our realms.' Loki raises an eyebrow. 'They- er, circle.'

Jane almost rolls her eyes. 'I am an astrophysicist.'

'So?', Loki asks, not understanding her exasperation. 'Should that mean something to me?'

'It means I know quite a lot about planets and their movements.'

'And still your friend thinks of Asgard as some story.', Loki points out and frowns.

Jane asks: 'Who are you?', just when Darcy asks: 'What are you?'

'I was Loki Odinson, second prince of Asgard. Who I am now, I do not know. I know you do not believe me.' He directs the last sentence to Eric.

'I am willing to overthink. How did you survive that fall?' His eyes are widened.

He shrugs. 'I survived worse.', Loki comments offhand.

'You look human.' Darcy eyes him skeptically.

'No, you look Asgardian. And we were there first.' Loki tries to cover his hurt by clearing his throat again. Not we, he reminds himself.

'What is Asgard?'

'It- I thought it was my home.'

'You said magic.', Jane interrupts. She still tries to organize her papers to find whatever it is she looks for.

'You would probably call it science. For us there is no difference.'

Jane is about to ask further questions but Eric motions her to wait. 'What are you doing here, Loki?'

'My old life lies in ruins. I cannot go back, not even look back. Midgard may offer me the chance to vanish until I figure out what to do.'

'What happened?', Jane asks silently.

Loki just shakes his head.


	23. Chapter 22 Rage

Rage

 _Life is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.  
William Shakespeare, Macbeth  
_

'Adopted?', Thor repeats thunderstruck. His mind instantly begins to race with possibilities. Loki is not his brother. It still needs some time to sink in, he can't believe it yet. He is not his brother, they aren't even related. Finally joy begins to seep through him, his heart beats furiously. They can finally be together, openly and no one would be able to stop them. They weren't breaking any laws with their relationship. Relief washes through him. He can marry Loki. Marry him. His thinking stops dead. Marry him. He takes a second to let it sink in and look at the thought from all sides but the fact doesn't change. It is no longer illegal, no one could judge them. After all this time, they finally can be happy. The solution for all their problems had revealed itself. Then something else comes to his mind, what had filled it for the last hour.

'Why? Do I know his family?' Thor frowns. Loki's reaction wasn't as joyous. Then again, he just lost his family, he needs time to think. The blond shakes himself mentally. He'd just need to find Loki and reassure him of his love. The ravenette would see the good sides soon enough and return to him, allowing Thor to fulfill his promise.

'Thor.' He looks at his mother and sees tears in her eyes that don't make sense at all. 'He is no Asgardian.'

The world stops. 'What?' His frown deepens and his breath hitches with dread.

Odin clears his throat uncomfortable, then starts to speak in a low voice. 'Loki is of Jotun-origin. I took him from his homeworld after the last great war.', he confesses. Thor's breath becomes heavy. He knows Loki was born in the last days of it but.. This is not possible. He had never looked like anyone else, not even remotely like any from their family, so yes, it is possible he is adopted, maybe even obvious, but Loki, a Jotun? Frigga and Odin had told them the most gruesome stories about those brutes. Loki is nothing like them. And if he is, they wouldn't have done that. Would they?

'He is smaller than a giant. I saw Jotnar. They look different.' Thor shakes his head and denies what slowly begins to make sense. Loki's shape-shifting abilities come to his mind. He had seen his brother- no, not-brother, perform miraculous feats with it.

'He is small for a giant.', is the simple statement his father offers as if it would be the explanation for the universe.

But then.. Dread curls his insides as Thor thinks about consequences of this revelation. Loki must think himself a monster. He had actually told him so, Thor begins to remember his words now that they start to slowly unravel. _'I can't stay here, I am a monster.'_ His heart aches thinking back at these words leaving his lover's mouth. Loki's self esteem had always been so frail, something like this must have confirmed his worst fears. Thor had come to hate the frost giants like all Asgardians are supposed to because they are evil, bad, nightmares. There is no ounce of modesty in them, at least that's what they are meant to believe. The only stories about them are told by men who met them on the battle field, not exactly the place to form an unbiased opinion. Thor cannot transfer any of the stories, of his hostile feelings to Loki though. His Loki is perfect.

Thor's voice is almost a whisper when hurling the silent accusation at his parents. 'Why did you let us think like that about his race?' Rage bubbles in the pit of his stomach, roaring like a beast set loose and just waiting for the first one to oppose it.

'Because his people are like that.', Odin spits out. His face is a masque of contempt and hate.

'Making himself think he is a monster and I could hate him like that?!' He isn't even listening. Storm clouds gather outside. 'How could you?'

His father crosses his arms. 'I offered him a better life.', he states stubbornly evading his question.

'That is why he was never enough for you!' His whole life presents itself in a different light. It just feeds the beast yelling at him to smash something.

'He is..'

'Nothing like them.', Thor interrupts him. 'You confronted him about us, didn't you?' It matters now not anymore anyway. They look surprised and sheepish, telling Thor all he needs to know. 'Do you know what he did not a second later? He didn't try to safe himself, or to blame me.' Thor shudders. 'He cast a spell on me to influence my memory. I suddenly remembered that our love was not mutual, that he forced it upon me, that he raped me again and again and that I hate him for what he did to me.' His throat constricts painfully but he forces himself to continue. 'That I finally broke the spell he cast on me. Then this-', he pulls his vambraces up and reveals a small silver bracelet engraved with a snake, '- lifted his memory spell. He gave it to me when we were children to make up for a prank he played on my friends and me. It would protect me from any harmful spell he'd place on me so next time we would be able to laugh about the joke together.' Thor sniffs and fights back the tears. 'Loki must have forgotten all about it. I never go anywhere without it.' He takes some deep breaths to calm himself. 'If he would have remembered it, he would have succeeded in convincing me that he is the monster that violated me. Loki was willing to sacrifice his life for mine without a thing to be gained and you compare him to the brutes of Jotunheim?', he ends accusing. His parents stand in shock listening to his revelations.

'I love him and he was willing to risk his life to protect me. He is not a monster as you claim.', Thor hisses.

'I didn't know.', Odin says after some moments in a broken voice. Sadness is edged into his features.

'How could you?', Thor demands to know. 'You never looked twice at him.' He turns to his mother who cries silently. 'We need to find him.' He immediately rules out Muspelheim and Jotunheim as possible hiding places of his lover. In Alfheim too many people know him and would be able to detect his magic.

'Midgard. Search on Midgard.', he finally says.

Frigga frowns. 'Why?'

'Because that's where he knows I would go. He will hide but there needs to be a blind spot.' Odin calls in a servant and sends him to Heimdall.

'They should have found you earlier.' Frigga mutters darkly.

Thor's eyes widen with shock. 'You send our friends after us?'

Odin looks shortly at his wife. 'Son, I must ask you. Have you and Loki..' He falters and doesn't look directly at him.

'Lain with each other?', Thor completes his sentence in disgust. 'That is what you want to know? Yes, we have.', he answers enraged.

Frigga sighs and looks out of the window. 'Your friends should have prevented that.'

Thor shakes his head, frowning. 'What would a few prevented times have changed?'

'A few?' Frigga raises her eyebrows and looks back at him.

It dawns upon him. He laughs out loud and harsh. 'That is what it is all about. You think it would have been our first time?', Thor sneers, Loki would have been proud. 'You really think we have seen each other just for a few weeks? Moons? Years?', he prompts, bitter merriment written all over his face.

'How long?', she whispers, he hears her dread.

'A little over two centuries.', he spits out, watching their reaction. 'Yes, Mother, I have lain with him and I am not ashamed of it. If you think him a monster, I am no less.'

Frigga shakes her head. 'No one thinks you are a monster, sweetheart.'

Thor crosses his arms. 'When Loki returns, I will marry him and I don't care what you think.', he states as if it would be the only logical thing to do.

'Thor, it is impossible.', his mother beseeches him.

'I won't allow it.', Odin growls and glares at him.

'You ruined enough for us. I have never been so ashamed to carry the name Odinson in my life. So take my throne, take my birthright, take my name. But you won't take him from me, never again.', he snarls, daring his father to defy him.

'That is insane.' The other man glowers.

The blond raises his chin high. 'I decline the throne. If Loki is not to sit beside me, I vow to the Norns, I won't sit upon it.' There is a heavy silence in the room after his declaration. He feels the weight of his words as do his parents.

'You really love him, son.', Odin notes silently, realization dawning upon him.

Thor shrugs, a little anger being drained from him. 'It is just him. It was always just him. Whenever he smiled, I was happy. It just took me a while to understand why.', he admits.

'You mean it.' His mother had turned to the window, and now resumes looking at him as if seeing him for the first time.

'Yes.', he states calmly. 'I will marry him. With your consent or without it. If he will still have me after this, I will not give a damn about Asgard. You don't accept us, we will go and you will lose both your sons. After all this time you lied to him, to us, let us think we indulged in something immoral, you'd be lucky if he still would stay here. If he won't forgive you, I won't either. You made him hate himself, the most wonderful person there is. I don't care if he's Asgardian or Jotun or if he'd be mortal, if his skin is blue or white or red, I love the wonderful person Loki is, no matter where he comes from or what he looks like. If you don't accept this, you will lose us both.'

Thor glares at his parents and dares them to defy him. He huffs and leaves the room. He needs to figure out a way to get him back, praying it is not too late.

xXxXx

Loki is able to strike a deal with the so-called scientists. He knows that he knows next to nothing about this realm, the things he learned in the halls of learning seem to be outdated or just plain wrong. Staying hidden in a world which daily procedures he doesn't understand will be next to impossible. He would be doomed to do something obvious, he won't be able to cover it forever. He took a closer look at the 'camera' devises. They are easy enough to understand, they are quite clever given that they don't know how to use magic and he will be able to fool those, but once there is footage Loki would have a hard time erasing it. It may remind him of technology used in Asgard some long centuries ago though he will need to figure out again how to make it all work properly because he had never cared too much about this, he had his magic to do things like this for him. He would have to ask about this Midgardian technology to find a way to make it compatible with his knowledge and, hopefully, his seidr to prevent being detected by their science. He promises in return to answer the questions of the scientists for them helping him to integrate into a world of mortals with technology he hadn't seen in centuries.

They sit down in the laboratory so they can try to find proof for his facts and Loki can try to explain along their data. A frown crosses his face when he sees that he can almost make out the bigger branches of Yggdrasil in their star maps, seeing that they already have their answer in front of them and ignore it because they don't want to understand. Loki tells them about Asgard and the other seven realms they know nothing about, the races that inhabit them and their habits of life to start the conversation and just a small bit to show them in what direction their questions are supposed to go. It is easy enough to speak about general known information as long as he does not breach certain topics. When being asked for the system of government he tries to play it down, shrugs casually and says 'Monarchy.' They are clever enough to leave the theme be for now. Jane wants an exact explanation about the nine worlds like their position and movements, also of the workings of the Bifrost and fortunately they don't ask too many personal questions.

'And the Bifrost is the only way to travel?', Jane asks, looking at the small sketch Loki had drawn for her.

Loki shakes his head. 'There are other objects with which one can travel, some are limited to certain locations, others to species. The elves of Alfheim have their own portal, not as powerful as the Bifrost but nevertheless able to reach Nidavellir and Vanaheim, but most of the other realms have no means to travel to other worlds except with powerful dark magic which none of them could probably weave or those special powerful objects. They are rare though and useless unless they are in contact with a receptacle, and mostly kept under lock and key. So most races, just like yours, don't have the possibility to leave, at least not anymore.' He sighs. 'There have been a lot of wars because of take-overs due to uncontrollable travel. By now, I believe, all these objects are locked away in Asgard.'

Jane nods, looking a little disappointed.

'But there are also other ways. Hidden pathways, if you like. They connect the nine realms, entwine and form a part of the branches. They are..' Loki hesitates. 'They are stiff. They have a starting point and a destination, usually they can just be entered from one way and are closed on the other. Through magic I detected most of the ways out of Asgard but never used them personally. It is too dangerous because there is no way of telling where exactly they end. You could land on the bottom of the ocean, or like me a thousand feet high in the air. And there is no way back. There is a good chance you'd be stranded on the other side with no way back. From your world though there must be also ways to other worlds, I just don't know where they are. They are difficult to find but maybe that would help you with your research. I am not sure but your scanners could maybe pick up something that would help you to prove your theories.'

Jane scribbles furiously on her notepad. 'So one could use those ways?'

Loki frowns. 'Maybe. But I would never use them except in great need. They are difficult to use from what I have found out and dangerous to pass. Not all of them are safe and some not even reachable without help.'

'Still.', she insists.

Eric is a skeptical man but he seems to believe Loki for now, not seeing any other possible explanation for his showing up. They look at the footage again and Loki notices again similar clouds to the ones the Bifrost creates but he hadn't seen or noticed them when traveling himself. Then again, he hadn't payed close attention. They dissipate before he even hits the ground hard enough to make a dent. The dull throb in his right shoulder becomes more prominent seeing this, he barely felt it before with his mind too tired and full to register. It's a minor scratch and he's glad it is nothing more, he easily could have broken some of his bones with that fall.

'I can't teach you.', Loki states as he sees the question glistening in her brown eyes.

'Teach?', she suddenly frowns.

He motions to the screen. 'How to do that.'

'Is it a secret?', Eric asks, raising an eyebrow.

Loki shrugs. 'No, not really. But I can't teach you this, probably not even explain. For the biggest part of my life magic was a part of me, you don't even know the basics. I do doubt you would understand what I am talking about.'

'What devise did you use?' Jane looks truly fascinated.

A small smile flitters over his face when he raises his hands and wriggles his fingers. 'You have next to no knowledge of this kind of energy. I could explain. I could tell you how to do it, you just wouldn't understand or be able to replicate it. It took me the best part of a millennium to be able to harness this much magic and learn how to teleport on my own without help of a 'devise'. I doubt your human body could hold that much energy, not to mention using it.'

'But you can travel without such things?', she asks, notes lying forgotten on the table.

'I never thought that there can just be that one way.' He smiles at the memory. 'My whole life I have been dreaming about wandering those branches of Yggdrasil, not just using the Bifrost to get somewhere, but feel the nine realms around me and being able to go wherever and whenever I want and not to depend on others or objects or devises that can break. Everyone I asked, every book I read wanted to proof me wrong, that it is impossible.' He clears his throat. 'But I don't know if a mortal could survive such a travel, with the Bifrost I have no doubts but apart from that..'

'Wait a second. Millennium? How old are you?', Darcy asks, looking up from her small computer.

'Little over a thousand years of yours, I believe.' Loki shrugs. 'It matters little, one stops counting at some point.'

Darcy looks doubtful. 'You're quite old.'

Loki smiles a little. 'And you are quite young. In Asgardian standards I am probably still younger than you in Midgardian's.'

'Uh-huh.' She raises an eyebrow.

He shrugs. What does it matter what she believes? 'Time passes differently on Asgard than here. The days pass faster by. Nonetheless, we live longer than mortals. Age and years matter little when you have eternity to while away. Especially with the right person.' He smiles wistfully. Loki stills when he realizes what he just said.

Jane has a sad smile on her face. 'Do you have a family?', Darcy asks, looking uncertain.

'I- I don't know.' He looks out of the window so he won't have to look at them. He truly does not need their sympathy.

'Did you leave them behind?' There is a small trace of accusation in her voice.

Loki sets his jaw and stares into her eyes as intimidating as he can. 'I do not wish to discuss this matter.' His heart aches at the mere thought of it.

'Sorry, I get that.', Jane quickly interrupts the other brunette. 'It's nearly time for lunch. How about we go out and show you a little of our world?', she suggests.

Loki nods gratefully, this questioning had taken the wrong direction, and wills his thoughts away from the family he left behind. They would not understand, he can't speak about that, not yet. Darcy had nailed it though. Thor is better off without him, they never had been family but Loki also left without even saying goodbye to Sleipnir, without even offering of taking him with him, away from prying eyes. He'd survive without Loki but live probably not better. How selfish is he?, Loki asks himself. He hadn't even wasted a thought on him or his feelings, He would have to go back somewhen if just to say sorry and take him away from Asgard. Odin would probably keep an eye on him, Loki thinks scheming, He will have to find a way around him.

His thoughts dart fleetingly to the person he called 'Mother' all these years, to his 'father' and Thor but he shoves them aside. They had lied to him and he isn't ready to think about this betrayal yet. And Thor is quite another cup of tea. He had always hated frost giants with burning intensity, more than anyone else in Asgard. The person he has called 'brother' all his life will now surely hate him and not forgive him for his heritage.

They leave the lab with Loki still caught up in his own thoughts so he doesn't truly listen to them explaining these horseless carriages which seem to work like the boats at home except they don't appear to fly. The small dinner is well filled given the time of day but they manage to find a table for four, the others order for him as well. Loki hadn't noticed how famished he already is when his steak with potatoes and some green vegetables arrives. It is quite edible which is surprising. He might not only eat the best but he certainly is used to it.

They chat a little about the workings of their daily activities and then quickly start to expatiate on explanations about electricity, advances in electronics and other things. Loki pretends to not already know half of that. Asgard also had all these things at one point or another in her history, or at least something similar.

'What you did before with your clothes..' Jane noticed he drifted off their conversation.

He shakes himself mentally to resume participating. 'It is.. influencing it on a subatomic level, forcing the atoms to dorm something new. It is easier than creating new matter. In this case though it is merely erasing some of them to shrink the t-shirt.', Loki quickly explains in words she hopefully appreciates.

Jane nods. 'Will you always do that? Because otherwise you could go to the store a few blocks up the street and check out the clothes there.'

A small blush creeps over his cheeks. 'I do not have any money. As you remember, I can only pay with information.' This is truly a new situation for him, not owning anything. From a prince to a beggar within the course of a day, he thinks bitterly.

She merely shakes her head. 'What are you giving us is worth more than money.' When Loki frowns she continues: 'I'd like to measure your magic, or at least try. That is my payment for new clothes, some that will fit. You can maybe change them but you can't run around in the same every day.' She won't accept 'no' as an answer, Loki knows that look from his own mirror.

So instead of declining, he bows his head. 'I thank you, Jane.'

She smiles. 'These results will be priceless, Loki. I thank you.'

Darcy decides to accompany him while the others want to go through their research and prepare some measurements. They don't know what to expect, Loki had never thought about their science being able to detect his seidr. Loki can not tell if they will see anything because he simply uses what is there already and adds just a small part of energy for it to do his bidding.

With Darcy's help he buys some t-shirts and a pair of pants that is a little tight for his liking but for which he at least does not require a belt and Darcy had insisted on it suiting him. Loki pretends not to notice her or the shop girl's ogling when he tries them on.

Jane is about to have a mental breakdown when they return. Half of the lab is empty and what's left is mostly useless stuff.

'What happened?', Darcy exclaims flabbergast.

'Is this the work of robbers?', Loki asks with a frown, looking around again as if everything would just show up again if he looks close enough.

'Something like that.', Jane mutters, skimming through the rest of her computer workplace. Then she sighs. 'There was this guy, said he'd be from S.H.I.E.L.D..' She shakes her head somewhere between angry and resigned.

'A shield?', Loki asks.

She throws her arms up. 'I don't know. But not a shield, it is the name of their organization. Seems to be like the military. They said they'd need our research, they took everything. The equipment, our date..' Jane is lost for words. 'That were years of my life.'

Darcy flops down on a chair. 'But why?', she demands to know.

''A matter of national security.'', she quotes. 'They probably noticed your arrival, the energy blast must have been detectable from afar.'

Loki looks down. 'Then I am truly sorry.'

She shakes her head. 'It's not your fault. They would have taken it anyway. It will be months before I can collect new data. They merely handed me a check. As if I could just buy the equipment again!' She sighs resigned. 'I will still keep our part of the deal, don't worry. Maybe I can still gain some insight even without proof.' Loki sees her jaws work.

'You know they won't accept the theory without a hell lot of proof.', Eric objects.

'And S.H.I.E.L.D. will make sure none of it ever go public.' She rests her head in her hands in defeat.

Silence settles heavily. Eric suggests to contact some friends and colleagues and ask for advise on how to handle this situation best but Jane puts him off. It would be a faceless organization, there is next to nothing they can do.

'Maybe I could be of assistance.', Loki interrupts their wallowing. 'You help me, I wish to do the same.'

Eric shakes his head. 'They have the footage of you. They'd capture you.'

A sharp grin spreads on his face. 'Let them try.' As if any Midgardian prison could ever hope to hold him. Even Asgard would have problems keeping him within his cell without strong magical barriers. 'Furthermore, I am not called silver tongue for nothing. I will talk to them and regain your data.'

Jane's eyes shine. 'You would do that?'

'They will recognize you.', Eric reminds him.

'No, they won't. If we hadn't found him out there, we would have walked past him. You weren't sure it was him in the bar. Without the clothes we wouldn't have found Loki at all.', Jane opposes him.

'They might be able to detect his.. not-being-human.' He looks full of doubt.

'So what?', Loki interrupts their discussion. 'First, it is my decision and I wish to do that. And I am not planning on staying here much longer, I am a shape-shifter.' He shrugs. 'I can look after this what I want like. And for my magic, I won't walk in using it. I don't even know where they are.'

'At the crater you made. I overheard some workers seeing the building of a camp there. I bet that's where that Coulson went.', Jane lets them in.

'So, it is really about me.', Loki notes. He never thought Midgard would become aware of him so quickly.

'Apparently.'

He sighs. 'Can you get me there?'

She raises her eyebrows. 'Now?'

'We should wait till it is dark. Shadows usually aid me.'

xXxXx

The sun begins to set when Loki climbs into Jane's car and they drive to the crater side. Jane parks a mile away from it behind some rocks so no one will see the car and get suspicious. Loki admires the strange beauty of this forsaken land. The stars appear one by one, better visible than even from the palace at home where the light of the city would dim them, still less impressive than Asgard's night sky. Briefly he wonders if he would find the beauty also in the deserted land of his birth but shakes his head to rid himself of these thoughts.

'Don't be so loud.', he almost snaps at Jane. 'They will hear you.'

She frowns and tries to tiptoe quieter. 'Why this secretiveness? I thought you wanted to talk to them?', she asks irritated.

Loki rolls his eyes. 'And you think they would listen? I sneak inside, copy your data and get what I can and be gone before they notice anything.', he fills her in.

'So you steal it?', Jane asks to clarify.

'Merely stealing it back.', he makes clear. 'No worries, they won't catch me.' No one ever did.

'This is not your first theft.', she notes, clearly disapproving.

'On the contrary, it is. Usually I leave things behind.' Loki smiles. 'Let us just say the warriors at home know not to simply lie down in the bed when they incurred my wrath but first make sure nothing dangerous awaits them there.'

Not being able to use his usual amount of magic out of worry for detection is going to be a handicap but nothing he wouldn't be able to accomplish. Plus, it would offer a certain kind of entertainment.

He tells Jane to stay behind after watching the camp for some minutes from their position on a slope, and to stay hidden. He quickly spots a small hole in the fence around the white tube-like complex and makes it big enough for him to slip through. Loki could make himself invisible, it would probably be even advisable with all the mortals around, but where would be the fun in that? He feels reckless and doesn't really care if he gets caught.

Sneaking through the rows of boxes piled everywhere he quickly advances to the complex. Two guards almost spot him when Loki ducks behind one of their cars.

Suddenly a loud alarm starts to blare, startling Loki. The security spotted the hole in the fence and sent a few men to check, he thinks and decides to step out of hiding. They would find him anyway and he has nothing to hide, at least not from them. This is ridiculous. He might be no real Asgardian but he may be damned to be accused of cowardice. The mortals can't harm him, they are too slow and weak. Loki knows that is just the try to justify his recklessness, not because it matters little to him if he lives or not because a life without Thor is just not worth living. He had planned a new life here because that's what he does, he distracts himself from the pain that almost consumed him after not even two days away from his love. No matter if Thor hates him, Loki can't live like this, so what does it matter what some puny mortals think about him.

'My name is Loki Odinson of Asgard.', he announces with a clear voice that carries through the base. 'And you have something in your possession that does not belong to you.'

Seven men form a circle around him after he finished. All of them look bulky and battle-hardened. If they were Asgardians, his chances would be non-existent. Here on Midgard they merely make him smile. The turmoil on the inside is almost visible before a small man steps outside, wearing a suit as the only one present, his hair already flees his forehead, his false smile is wide.

Loki questions if he should summon his armor to look more intimidating but decides against it. Until now he is just a harmless man to them who is trespassing. With an armor he would be a hostile. A part of him still wants to summon it, if just to let his lover know where he is. Nevertheless, the advantage of being underestimated is never to be underestimated.

'Hello. My name is Phil Coulson.', the false smiling man says.

'Greetings, son of Coul.' The tiniest frown flickers over his face. Did he think Loki wouldn't know manners? 'You took something today and I wish you to return it. A friend of mine depends on it. Jane Foster.', Loki clarifies when he doesn't react.

Coulson tries to stare him down. 'Who are you?'

'It is of no concern of yours. Return her property. Now.' His voice is hard and doesn't give him room to object.

'Where is Asgard?', the insolent man inquires, not taken a step back and ignoring Loki's demands.

Loki cocks his head but never breaks eye contact. 'I am growing tired of your questions.', he says impatiently. 'I have not come for your amusement. Hand me her things. My patience wears thin.'

Finally he takes the ravenette serious. 'I fear Ms. Foster's data is something we need a little while longer. It is a matter of national security. I am sure you understand.' His hands are clasped behind his back. He is a little to rigid to be comfortable.

Loki growls. 'Last chance. Give it back and I might let you still live.', he snarls. Who is he thinking he speaks to? He takes a step to the steps the insolent mortal stands on to have the higher ground.

'Be reasonable.', Coulson states as the seven men take a step towards Loki. Fear is evident on his face and in their demeanor. Good. 'Mr. Odinson, we can surely find a way.'

The world stands still for a moment before it turns red for Loki upon hearing his last name leave his mouth. Odinson. It is mocking him, dangling all the lies he wanted to believe in front of him but making them no more true.

He shakes his head in an attempt to clear it but to no avail. Reason leaves because when had it ever been good for him?

'Fine.' A grin spreads in his face, mad and twisted. The wind picks up and the seidr leaves his hands to reign and cause destruction to whatever it touches. He does not care, feels the power surging through him while he focuses his wrath, his frustration, his sadness to nothing in particular and everything around him. Chaos and pandemonium fight for the upper hand, the screams barely reach his ears. People run out of the collapsing tubes and Loki believes he never saw something that oddly satisfying. Why keep back what he is? A monster who will cause destruction wherever it goes? Why not embrace it? Golden hair comes to his mind as magic wreaks havoc on the grounds.

xXxXx

The people gather outside of the fence which just partly still stands. Slowly the dust settles and they see the true extent of the damage. Three minutes. That is all it took Loki to completely wreck the outpost. Nothing seems to be untouched. Everything is shattered and lies around the ravenette standing in the middle of the chaos. Jane had hidden behind some boulders when it all started. This display of power frightened her but also opened her eyes. His cool demeanor is nothing more than a façade, he fled and lost everything. He can't stay here, he doesn't want to stay here. She was a distraction for him, something to keep his mind of his true problems. Loki is grieving.

The people around her ignore Jane and tend to their wounded. Many had been hit by the flying objects he had hurled through the air or the collapsing building. She had sneaked closer when the people had calmed a little but no one seemed to be in immediate need of medical attention.

She watches Loki standing there with sadness in her eyes and a little fear in her heart. But she can't leave, he would be alone and even more unpredictable. Slowly she walks past a piece of the fence that still stands and tries to evade the biggest rubble lying in her way. Jane approaches the lonely figure. He trembles and his hands are still clutched to fists, his back is turned on her.

'Loki.', she almost whispers, carefully approaching him further.

The ravenette turns around slowly, his face a masque of pain, eyes blinded by tears.

xXxXx

Loki doesn't feel the dark eyes watching him intensively light years away. That is the one he needs. That rage he can work with and the power of that dark-haired man is not to be underestimated.

A grin appears on his face. He would regain what is rightfully his and this man would do it for him.

He gives the order.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello and a very merry Christmas to all of you or a happy Hanuka if you prefer ;)**

 **One more time we'll hear (hopefully) from each other, until then, enjoy your holidays or the beautiful rain if you are as lucky as I am.**

 **So, because of special occasions an (extra) long chapter (Nah, just a joke, it just turned out longer but hey :3 it is great when everything fits together). Right, and for the mortals' knowledge of Norse Mythology we pretend that it is not the same as ours (so for example they don't know 'what' Loki is for real).**

 **Anyway, see you next Saturday!**

(I know I am a little late today, but in my defense, my mother and I already baked five cakes this morning for Christmas, soo, I hope you understand.)


	24. Chapter 23 Farewell

**I am indeed very sorry in advance.**

* * *

Farewell

 _I will grab fate by the throat, it shall never drag me down.  
Ludwig van Beethoven  
_

As expected Heimdall can find absolutely no trace of Loki anywhere in the nine realms, neither on Midgard nor any other place. Not even a blind spot he had found, Loki clearly had done a great job in concealing himself.

'Can't you at least get a glimpse?', Thor asks frustrated.

'I am sorry, my Prince, but Loki veils himself well.', the keeper admits. 'I do feel his presence. He cannot hide his life-force, but it seems to be at several places at once and nowhere in particular. My eyes and ears can not focus on his location, this way he stays hidden.' Heimdall tries to explain the dilemma.

Thor closes his eyes briefly, then turns around to leave. He hesitates. With his back still turned on the guardian of the rainbow bridge, Thor asks: 'Did you know about us?' The winds that howl across the open end of the rainbow behind them almost drown out his words.

When the silence lengthens, the blond turns around to face the thoughtful golden eyes. 'I had my moments.', the keeper concedes. 'But I knew nothing for sure.' Thor has a hard time believing that.

He eyes the golden guardian up and down. 'That is treason.', he says softly without judgement.

Heimdall merely smiles. At least Thor believes to see a smile in the slight curl of his mouth. 'You are good for each other. So it is not. No harm ever came from you. I have seen the change in you, Thor Odinson, a change for the better. You've become more considerate, you understand the burdens of ruling better. You got Loki to open up, something no one has succeeded in doing for centuries. You made him see that being cruel is not necessary. You are good for each other.', he repeats. 'And that is good for the realm. It would have been for the worst to separate you.'

Thor nods, lost in thoughts. Had he really such an impact on his lover? He had never noticed. But Heimdall would not lie about this and after all, he sees more than anyone else, maybe even the workings of the universe. Thor always knew Loki changed him for the better but applies the same the other way around? He swallows and smiles, joy beginning to quell in his heart when he starts to see what the keeper means. 'Tell me immediately when you see him.', he tells him.

'Yes, my Prince.' Heimdall bows swiftly and resumes his usual pose, staring out into the dark vastness of the world tree. Thor still fears for his onetime brother, but that he is in hiding is a good thing. He knows how self-destructive his lover can be. Especially after finding out something like this about himself, Thor hadn't been sure what he might do. The apologetic words and tears of Loki burn on Thor's mind. He doesn't kid himself pretending to understand the pain and confusion Loki goes through. How could he? Loki's worst fears about himself have been confirmed to him. But just the thought of Thor loving him any less because of something like that, is ridiculous. He loves Loki for the better or the worst, all of him. He wonders if he can show his ravenette that he loves every aspect and also his Jotun-side. And if he would get frostbite trying to touch him in his original form to make Loki love himself in that form.

The blond price of Asgard walks over the grounds after leaving the bridge, passing the stables and promising Sleipnir to bring Loki back as soon as he can, and finally settles in his chambers to wait for word from Heimdall. The walk had flown by him, his mind too full to process the miles walked. He didn't mind, at least Thor had something to do like this. Now alone in his chambers, he starts to miss his ravenette.

A resolute knock sounds from the door, interrupting his thoughts when the evening comes. Hope rises but is immediately crushed when the three angry men enter his chambers without being invited in.

'What in Hel?', Volstagg exclaims when turning around furiously, having come in far enough to allow the others into the parlor as well.

'You kiss Loki and then let us alone in the forest? What is wrong with you?', Fandral demands to know, anger evident in every movement of his.

All kinds of accusations are tossed at him. Loki would have him under a spell, they are all mistaken at what happened and had gone temporarily mad, Thor would be delusional and many more. Confusion apparently had made way to anger on their long march back, having had enough time.

'Why?', Volstagg asks confused after some silence has set in. 'Why did you kiss him?' They still hope for a logical explanation, including them having gone mad.

Thor shrugs. He had stayed calm during their rambling, he understands what they go through. It is the same confusion that had shaped years of his life. 'Because I love him.', he states as if it is the only thing there is to say because it is truly the only reason.

Shock and agitation are written all over their faces as they all look at him. 'But- but he is your brother!'

Thor huffs. 'Is he? We all noticed that he doesn't look remotely like me.' To their confused stares he answers with a quick recollection of everything he learned about his little brother today. He shakes his head. 'I don't know how I could have been so blind.'

'A Jotun?', Hogun seeks confirmation. They all look doubtful.

Volstagg chews on his bottom lip. 'Now I feel bad for picking on him because of his statue and magic.', he admits grudgingly.

'I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up like that, feeling like not belonging anywhere. And we were no help either.', Hogun adds. 'I at least knew I am no Asgardian.'

Thor has to admit they are right. In their childhood he hadn't been a great help either. 'But this also means that I can marry him and don't have to resort to an anonymous woman.' Thor tries to see the bright side of things again. The joy he had felt earlier slowly comes back.

Fandral sadly shakes his head. 'The people will not accept that.' He addresses Thor's worst fear.

'Wait a moment.', Volstagg interrupts. 'So you didn't know before? And you were- Oh, Norns.' He falls into an armchair. Disgust is written all over his face.

'I knew it was wrong.', he tells his friend. 'I thought he was my brother, that is also true. But- I just couldn't stay away from him.', he seeks to explain.

'That is ridiculous, Thor. You don't just fall in love with your brother! Loki probably had his hands in this..', he muses, anger working its way into his thinking.

'He didn't.', Thor declines. 'I initiated it. And I tried to fight it, but it was never wrong, we were just meant to believe that. Maybe I knew somewhere deep down, maybe I didn't. That doesn't matter anymore. Fandral knew and he never judged.', Thor says stubbornly.

'Thor, I didn't know, I was actually glad I was wrong. But are you sure about this all? It will just make you unhappy.', Fandral interrupts, looking somber.

'Loki makes me happy. And you didn't guess, Fandral. You knew.' Thor remembers his odd phrasings and weird gestures, if he wouldn't have known he would not have done that. 'You told me to make it right. And I will.' The blond crosses his arms.

Fandral remains silent and frowns slightly.

'And the people will accept us. We were both raised to sit on the throne, they will have two kings ruling side by side. Loki and me together can rule better than any of us alone.' Thor smiles. Before they can interrupt him though, he says: 'Yes, the people will talk, they always do. But I do not care. I already swore I won't take the throne without him. So either they accept us or I don't care for the throne.' He is smug, convinced by the unalterable logic of his statement.

'How can you swear to that?' His friends are outraged. 'What if Loki doesn't want that? This isn't his realm after all.', Hogun reasons.

'He wants, we were just never allowed to pursue such dreams. We never dared to hope.' He shakes his head to clear it. 'I just need to find him and hope he will accept my explanations.', Thor declares.

Fandral stops him with a wave of his hand. 'I need time to process this. I believe we all do. I won't stand in the way of your happiness, my friend, but for me he is still your brother.' He stops for a moment. 'Loki is proud.', he reminds Thor. 'He won't reject this throne and his family to sit at your side.'

Thor nods. 'Let that be my worry.'

xXxXx

No one dares to stop them when Jane leads the disorientated god away from the destroyed camp. They are still in shock, frozen and unable to comprehend what happened. Debris is all that is left of the complex that housed them mere minutes ago. The dust still hasn't settled completely and obscures the sight of devastating destruction. A large part of their materials is scattered in the desert sand.

Loki is too soaked up in his own thoughts and does not remember how he got back to Jane's home. Almost no time passes between standing in the middle of a battle field and sitting at the kitchen table. Her hand on his forearm is the only thing that changed but he can not remember when it went away.

'How many?' Loki's voice is hoarse and quiet. He still stares at nothing in particular. Jane turns in surprise when the first words since the incident leave his mouth.

'Some where hurt but not bad.' She guesses what Loki means.

He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. At least no on died due to his lack of self control. His head falls into his hands. 'Thank the Norns.', he whispers inaudible.

She leans against the counter and eyes him. 'What happened? Really?', Jane asks in all earnest.

He sighs. 'I lost control.', he admits and adds silent: 'I am sorry.' Loki doesn't look at her directly. He feels the telltale blush creep up his cheeks as embarrassment floods him. This hadn't happened in centuries. He had completely lost it this time, had let his magic rule instead of himself. He is ashamed of himself for not having been in better control of his emotions and threatening the lives of the innocent mortals. His precarious situation is not their fault and taking out his frustration on them is nothing but unfair.

The other mortals had entered the kitchen at some point, though at this time of night they should be asleep. Probably his tantrum had wakened them or their arrival at the laboratory. 'It was the name, wasn't it?', Jane asks. The three humans sit down at the table with him. Jane probably filled them in already when she left him alone for a few minutes earlier.

Loki nods, not looking at them. 'I always thought that's who I am. Loki Odinson.' He huffs. 'Turns out that I am adopted.' Speaking it out loud provides him with some kind of relief and pain.

Pity practically radiates from the others. Loki thinks he might get sick. 'That's why you went away?'

'Yes.', he concedes. 'I do not belong to Asgard. They aren't even my people. I am a Jotun, a monster, the enemy of everything that is Asgardian. I am not worthy of the name. Never was.' His voice grows quieter until it is barely more than a whisper. Everything just pours out of him, it is relieving to finally voice his darkest thoughts. 'No surprise Fa- Odin hates me.', he quickly corrects himself.

'But he knew, didn't he?', Jane interposes. 'He took you in.'

Loki shakes his head, glaring at the wall behind them. 'He took me for his own purposes, not because of sympathy. My own people abandoned me. I was never good enough for anyone. Not for my people, nor for Asgard, not for Thor.' Now that he started talking he can not seem to stop.

'Thor?', Eric asks, frowning slightly.

His mouth opens and closes a few times before settling for: 'My brother. Adopted brother.' He shakes his head. 'Whatever.'

'I am sure he will love you all the same.', Jane tries to reassure him.

Loki laughs humorless. 'How could he? He hates Frost Giants.'

'He is still your brother, blood or not.', Eric says.

'I am truly a monster. I didn't care he was before.' He snorts. 'He won't ever think me appealing again. I am hideous.'

'You're not.', she objects, shaking her head.

Loki laughs bitterly. 'Are you sure, Jane Foster?' He glares at her. White skin melts into blue. 'I am not just a monster within. He will hate this form.' He sees the shock and disgust in their eyes and turns away before it can hurt him.

She takes his hand before Loki can draw back. 'Don't!', he exclaims, his eyes widen but he doesn't want to hurt her further.

'Loki.' She forces him to look up, his mouth still agape. 'He'd be a fool not loving you all the same.'

'Don't!', he says again. 'D-Don't I burn you?', he asks shocked and curios. Jane frowns.

'No, you are.. chilly but not too cold. And you are not hideous.', she insists. He stops to fight her off and stares in wonder at her.

'Wait, wait, wait.', Darcy interrupts their silence, waving her hands to get their attention. 'Are we really going to ignore the part with him being in love with his own brother?' She frowns slightly and her voice has a shrill edge.

Loki changes back to his usual body. It still feels more natural. 'As I said, I am not a good person, Darcy. I do love Thor, in a different way than I am supposed to as his brother. And he loves me back.' He shakes his head. 'But he won't love this. He would have always been better off without me, I just recently learned just how true that is.'

She tuts. 'It gave you a reason to run.', Darcy accuses. She raises an eyebrow and challenges him to disagree.

Loki frowns. 'What are you insinuating?', he asks angrily after some moments.

'You wanted to go, you were just looking for a reason.' Darcy shrugs. 'If Thor would think like this he would have left you. But he didn't. You did that for him. You are also his brother. He is just as insecure as you are now.' She shakes her head as if that should be clear.

'You don't understand.', he puts her off. Loki can't ignore the flutter in his stomach though.

'Then explain.', she challenges and crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair.

Loki doesn't know why he begins to talk about his lover, his brother, his everything. He tells them more than he intends to but once he started he can't seem to stop. All the years of pining, the happiness and dread of accepting that he wasn't the only one wanting this, the secrecy and hiding that had been his life for so long, the pain to know that he would never be good enough for him.

'Wow. Compared to that my life seems easy.' Her eyebrows almost hit her hairline.

'Sometimes I really wished I would not love him. But then he'd smile and I'd forget about my worries again.', he tells them.

'Well, you can't just give up on him.', the dark haired girl states as if it would be that simple.

'He deserves better. He would not have me. Not anymore.' Loki looks at the table as if the answers to his life are hidden in the swirls of the plastic.

'Now that you are free to be together?', she asks, provoking him.

'I am not the same.', he tries to convince her. 'Thor won't look at me again with love in his eyes.'

She prompts him: 'How do you want to know?'

'We despise Jotnar. They are our mortal enemies, brutes without intellect.', he explains.

'He won't care if he truly loves you.', Jane says.

'No, he will.', Loki whispers.

'Well, you will never know until you talk to him.' Darcy shrugs. 'Maybe he'll hate you but than he doesn't deserve you. Maybe he'll love you all the more. You will never know and you're not treating him right by deciding for him. You're running, fleeing even, from your problems, Loki. You stand in your own way, you're not giving him the chance to explain. You pretend you assume the worst from him because you don't accept yourself. Whatever problems you have with this revelation, if you really love him Thor deserves an own opinion and the chance to voice it.' Darcy glares at him from across the table.

Loki stares at her with his mouth agape and isn't the only one. 'It-'

'It is your problem. Not his, not ours, no one's but your own.', she stops his explanations. His hands clench into fists several times.

Can it be he just overreacted? Is he unfair to his lover and laying words into his mouth he doesn't deserve? Has his love not always shown him support and made it plain that whatever Loki would do, he'd always be at his side? Had he not always accepted his monstrous parts, the darkest depths of his soul? Had he not always shown Loki the light?

'You're right.', he murmurs and nods to himself. 'I can not run from this. I can not run from myself.' He looks up. 'Thank you, Darcy.', he says with his heart behind it. 'I will go back and let Thor decide if he still wants me. But- not yet. If I don't accept myself, how can I expect him to? Would you allow me to stay for a few days? I- oh, Norns- I still have to make amends with these military people.' Loki sighs. He feels Heimdall's gaze on him. His protection from being spotted had been blown away alongside the complex and he hadn't put it up again yet. And he really sees no reason to do so. He isn't planning to leave this place within moments and they already know where he is. This way Thor would at least know he is well and will come back soon.

'Of course you can stay. You should sleep, we all should. Tomorrow will be brighter.', Jane agrees.

His mind still races when Loki retreats to his bedstead, staring out into the dark. The years of hate his family had nursed for his own people, sits deep. The blue glow will never feel like himself and he would rather die than walk around freezing everything. But then again, Jane had not even been hurt when touching his skin, maybe he can learn to control this part of him. Under the pretense that Thor would like him this way. The room hadn't even grown cold this time that his emotions hadn't ruled his thinking. Maybe not all the dreadful stories about the Jotnar are true, he hadn't once visited their realm personally. Now Odin's prohibition to do that makes more sense. Loki somewhen gives up on sleep though he is greatly tired out by his extensive use of magic earlier and goes back to the small bathroom. He strips out of his clothes and lets the blue take over the white on purpose this time and not in a fit of cold anger and despair. Looking up into the mirror he tries to see himself. His high cheekbones remain the same just like his hair. The black locks frame his face, the dark ridges on his forehead make it look strange. The green of his eyes is replaced by a strong rich red. The angry and confused glance they carried before has given way to sadness and defeat. The lines around those eyes are soft, they lost their predatory aura. The red does not even look threatening anymore but more like sparkling rubies or glowing lava flowing in the snow. Loki raises his hand and touches his new face, tracing the lines, trying to get to know the person he would have been supposed to be. His skin doesn't feel cold this time, now that his emotions aren't heightened and he doesn't fear the cold anymore. He feels the cold lingering just beneath his finger tips but waiting to be summoned and not taking over on its own. The mirror does not even fog.

His gaze wanders down his body. The dark lines continue down his lean torso, crossing over his right hip, going all the way down to his calf. Loki traces the lines and notices that they are more sensitive to the touch than the rest of his skin. Apart from that and the different color of his skin, he can see no difference to his usual body. He is still small, lean and weak. No one would believe him to be a giant. All in all it doesn't feel too bad like this though he can feel the cold lurking under his skin. Summoning ice is easier than expected and the room cools gradually.

Loki doesn't know how long he stares into the mirror but eventually it again becomes too much. It is still the enemy staring back at him, a creature and not himself. Maybe his inner self just finally matches his outside. He breathes against the mirror, effectively fogging it with the warmer air inside his lungs. The monstrous image vanishes but he almost freezes when he looks closer. Scribbled all over the misty surface is a message that he is sure can just be from Thor. He recognizes his messy writing. Tears form in his eyes. He knows, crosses his mind. Slowly the words fade as it grows warmer in the room and slowly sink in. Loki continues to stare at the reflection surface long after the words vanished.

xXxXx

'I love you.', Thor breathes into the flames. He hopes the spell Loki taught him ages ago, works and his lover will get his message. Some hours ago Heimdall had told him he is finally able to see the second prince. He is on Midgard in a small town somewhere in a desert. Apparently he had suffered a break down and destroyed some property. All that keeps Thor from rushing there instantly is that Loki appears to be in good hands and he needs time for himself. He had only just learned that his life is naught but a lie and his ex-big brother rushing in to influence him won't be good for him. Loki hadn't put up his barriers again, giving Thor the hope that he wants to be found but chooses to stay there for a bit. He doesn't want to press Loki and give him the space to breathe and make up his mind. The blond wanted to tell his lover that he doesn't care, that he wants him all the same, still loves him and decided for this small message instead of going there, to cheer him up, to let him know he is not alone, he is thinking of him and hasn't forgotten him.

Odin and Frigga had both been relieved to finally know where their son vanished to and though his father still isn't happy, Thor can tell he will not bear a grudge forever. They had agreed to give Loki some time and not force him to come home in case he maybe does not want to. He has never been to his home planet, there is a high chance he would like to visit it before deciding if he returns at all. Not that Thor could be angry at him for that, he doesn't know if he would come back. For now, he will be patient but he will go after his lover should Loki still want him. But first he needs to deal with this alone because that is what he wants and Thor will wait.

He hadn't seen his friends since their confrontation. He hopes they won't just abandon him because of this, but if they do, well then they weren't worth the effort. Thor is on his way back to his parents. After watching Loki for some hours on end of the Bifrost bridge he promised his parents to meet them as soon as he had spare time. The message he had deemed more important. He is still angry at them for keeping this secret from Loki, even if it did protect him. He wouldn't have to deal with this self-hatred now if they had at least skipped the horror stories about his race.

'Thor.' His father looks up surprised when he enters the study without knocking. The guards didn't dare to stop him.

'What?' Thor knows he is being rude, but he does not deserve any better right now.

'We talked about this whole situation..', Odin starts when Thor just stands there and makes no attempts to tell them what he saw and heard.

'So?', he prompts, trying to convey his foul mood.

Odin sighs and looks down. 'I am about to write a letter to king Laufey. We can hardly expect this matter to go unnoticed. If you still plan to marry Loki-'

'I do.', he interrupts.

'-then we will need to announce publicly that Loki is a frost giant.', Odin continues, ignoring Thor's statement. 'He will be disinherited.' Thor gulps. He isn't sure Loki would want that. 'And there is a chance Laufey will take him away from here. He is the rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim after all. If he even accepts the explanation and does not use this as a pretense for war.'

'But Laufey's grandchildren would sit on the throne of Asgard, he wouldn't waste such a chance.', Thor muses after some seconds.

'You would never know how your children would turn out. Shape-shifting and childbearing can result in monstrous outcomes.' Odin evades both Thor's and Frigga's gaze.

Thor frowns. 'Loki once almost said the same. What do you know?', he inquires.

His father just shakes his head. 'It never ends well. So are you sure you are willing to risk all this for your infatuation?' He is still against their union but he sounds defeated, already knowing Thor's answer. But in time he would accept Loki's new position at court which Thor has in mind, he knows it. He loves his sons too much as that he would lose them like this.

'I love him, Father, in a way you never felt if you must ask. But you are correct, this is not just my call to make. Once Loki returns there will be enough time to decide.'

After a few moments of contemplating Thor's answer he asks in a low voice: 'How is he doing?'

Thor takes a deep breath. 'Better than I assumed.' At least no one had died.

xXxXx

The next morning comes sooner than expected, bright and shining. Loki hadn't come to terms with his birth right just yet but he is confident he will. Knowing that Thor knows and still loves him fills him both with dread and hope. Dread that this will change once he sees Loki in person and hope that they will somehow manage this situation. For his love, Loki will try to come to terms with this body, knowing only then he will be able to be with his love, when the people of Asgard truly see they aren't brothers. He would have to show his true body, probably for longer than one dinner. The more confident he feels in it, the easier the people would accept that Thor and he always knew and the easier they will accept him.

A rather quiet breakfast is interrupted by a strong knocking on the door. Jane goes to answer it and calls for Loki to come downstairs not a moment later. Already being able to make an educated guess as to who would possibly demand his presence, Loki leaves his untouched plate and goes down the stairs. As expected the balding man with the dark suit stands in the entrance with Jane, silence enveloping them both.

'Mr. Odinson, correct?' His smile is much the same as yesterday.

'Loki will suffice, son of Coul.' Loki clears his throat. 'I am very sorry about the incident yestereve. I hope no one was hurt too bad.', he offers.

'Just some minor injuries. They are used to worse.' He waves him off. 'Though I have to admit what you did was quite impressive.'

'Not the word I would use.' Loki sighs. 'I offer penance and retribution for anything I have destroyed.' His reasons will stay his own. He doesn't seem to hide anything but who knows in whose hands these information might fall.

'It was just a research facility. We hardly had any equipment there yet. But we would like to know how you accomplished that feat.' His hands are clasped behind his back but he is more relaxed this time that Loki doesn't look so murderous.

'You want me to help you understand what took the elder people millenia to learn?', he asks, raising one eyebrow. Could the mortal truly believe it to be so easy?

The smile doesn't falter for a moment. 'Your cooperation would be much appreciated.'

He crosses his arms. 'I will work with Ms. Foster. So you will give back the things you stole from her and I might give it a thought.'

'We merely borrowed it.', he is quick to say. 'And of course we will return them, she will need them for her research.' He beams as if it would have been the plan all along. She would probably be more likely to succeed without Loki's help than this organization with it if this Phil is any indication. But at least Loki will be able to keep his promise.

The next days pass in a haze. Helping Jane understanding the years of data she collected, brooding over the decision of how to handle the situation with his family best and getting used to his natural form take up the greatest part of the day. After some hours as a Jotun he feels confident enough to show himself to his new mortal friends again and they don't react as bad as assumed. Then again, they never saw a Jotun before and aren't used to think of them as the enemy. Darcy just commented on him that he now looks more like she had imagined an alien which earns her a lot of questioning looks. Interestingly his magic feels stronger in this form, maybe because he no longer shape-shifts, maybe because he, bit by bit, accepts this. He loves Thor and that should be enough to rush back immediately. He can now have what they always secretly dreamed about, the rest will somehow untangle. Ruling Jotunheim is out of question for him but maybe a marriage would bring the much desired political peace which Odin had aimed at.

Despite all this Loki puts off his return again and again. He assures Coulson that the destruction of the base was not his goal and by no means an act of war. He is not even representing Asgard to this planet. Fortunately the human accepted the explanation, maybe because Loki went on talking about the wars Asgard had fought and their sciences and realized Midgard would in fact not stand a chance, not that Loki would care too much. He repays them fully with basic information and by the time he decides to finally leave this abscondence behind him, Jane is close to publish her very own theory. Loki let his lover wait long enough and though he knows that Thor would never complain, he exhausted his stay.

Almost a week after crashing down in the desert, the three scientists drive Loki to the crater and Loki promises them to visit them as soon as possible, maybe even with Thor. He will all his life deny the moistness of his eyes when he bids them farewell. They are better friends then he had ever had back in Asgard.

His gaze drifts to the sky. Some of Asgard's stars shine through, not noticeable for the few mortals.

'Heimdall? When you're ready.' He looks one last time at the group standing a few yards away, staring at him in wonder.

'We'll miss you.' Jane says, her smile a little sad.

'Farewell, my friends.' Loki bows slightly before the bright light engulfs him.

xXxXx

The last days were torture but today, finally, Heimdall announced Loki planned his return. Thor had already spend the most of his time letting the keeper describe Loki's behavior to him, being happy for his brother to have found such fine compatriots and glad that he made amends with the mortals.

The two men stand in silence when Heimdall suddenly turns around and raises his sword to open the Bifrost. Thor keeps his eyes fixed on the portal but something is wrong. The light is not as usual crystal clear but strangely tainted by darkness.

'My Prince!', the keeper yells just before the Bifrost begins to collapse on itself. He drags Thor outside until he runs himself outside and they are stricken by the explosion just when they have the rainbow under their soles. Scrambling up from the ground Thor turns around. He stares at the empty black where seconds before was the ancient construction which now tumbles down into nothingness.

'Loki. He was already in the portal.', Thor rather states than asks.

The keeper is also frozen in shock, he pants still when he stands up. 'I can not see him. I cannot feel his life-force.', he breathes.

His body reacts before his mind does and his knees hit the ground. His world is shaking. 'He is- dead?'

xXxXxXx

 **So, as I said, I am sorry but we all knew where this was going the second Jane Foster showed up. Still.**

 **Also this will be my last update this year (What a surprise.) so I want to wish you all a happy new year. Don't drink and drive, try to keep all your fingers tonight and have fun! To celebrate the new year there will be an extra update in the morning (that means probably afternoon)! Because it is really short and is meant as an excuse for the not so nice ending of this one.**

 **Hope you can forgive me and stay tuned for more. There will be some major revelations in the near future and some convenience-corrections.**

 **See you in the morning! Happy new year!**

(As you see, reviews really ensure that I write more. *hint*)


	25. Chapter 24 The Veil Of Darkness

The Veil of Darkness

 _Light_ _thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels,  
it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.  
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man_

Black. Darkness. Everywhere around him. He does not dare to move an inch. If the others see he is awake, everything is lost. Everything will start again.

They will come and rescue him. Hopefully.

No, he tells himself, he has to believe.

Suddenly a sharp pain is blooming in his chest. His body feels like tearing apart. He can't breathe, can't move now that he wants to. Can't scream. The others know he regained consciousness.

The pain increases even more and he feels like fainting again, but this time he can't flee into the blissful darkness. The others promised there would be no pause. The others keep him awake. Make him stay.

Then the pain is gone, vanished into nothingness. There's only this coldness left and it's even more unbearable. He was never cold before. I am freezing, goes through his mind. It should be impossible but it certainly doesn't feel like that. He'll die right now. And they will never see him again.

'You're not dying.' A cold voice is hissing in his ear. He should have known the others wouldn't let go of him that easily. Insecure what to do, he tries to open his eyes to see who this unfamiliar voice belongs to. His body feels like no part of him. It is not one of the guards' voices but somewhere in the back of his overworked mind, he thinks this is who gives them their orders. The one who put him in here, wherever 'here' is. It is not the endless falling or the torturous emptiness he felt for so long, it is agonizing and slow like moving under water with his lungs screaming for air. Just this time his mind screams for sanity. He doesn't know if that first pain ever ended or if it just faded into this new one. He doesn't know if it matters.

'Let it go.' The same voice speaks again, this time the hiss is almost imperceptible, it is almost comforting. The cold is spreading in his body.

But he can't. Something inside him wants to live, wants to continue fighting. Even under this conditions. There once has been something worth all of this. If he could just remember. It was there but while he fell, it fell from his mind.

Maybe he said that out loud, maybe the other can read his mind. Whatever it is, a dark grim laugh echoes through the dark room as if it is a reaction to his defiance.

Then the pain returns, filling his brain to the rim until nothing else exists. White stains blur his vision. His heart flatters in his chest as if it's trying to escape and just for one moment, he wants it to. As sudden as it begun, it is over.

For the first time in an eternity, clarity fills his mind. The darkness comes again, chasing away the light, but it is not threatening this time. He welcomes it happily. It seems to be the right choice. They wouldn't have found him anyway. They don't want to. They never really liked him. He had been the alien who came into their lives unbidden. The monster in their midst. They will have moved on long ago, grateful he is no longer there, not even wasting a thought about him anymore. He remembers naught but a shadow they kept him in, afraid of his powers and of what he could do.

Why would he like them at all? He would crush them all, show them what a good companion they had equipped him with. Darkness would never leave him. The light, the very sun, had always been and will always be his mortal enemy, just there to be wiped out by him. It deserves nothing better.

Nothing but pure hatred courses through his veins, showing him how each moment of his life had been nothing but oppression, how everything good had been robbed from him.

He always feared that dark part inside of him, had hidden it away in order to belong to people who always just hated him. He doesn't even know why he bothered, why he wanted to be part of people who don't deserve him. Everything is suddenly perfectly clear. He was meant to rule. He is born to be a king. And he sees exactly who stood all this time in his way.

'Stand up, my faithless one.'

There is the dark ragged voice again. How could he ever think it threatening or menacing? It sounds like victory. Slowly he begins to feel his body again and stands up, every inch the proud prince he is. The cold is part of him once again.

'I have a mission for you, faithless one.'

'Yes, I know.', he whispers, eyes gleaming in the dark.

A wicked smirk spreads on the once handsome face. First Midgard will fall, the other realms will follow.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello and a very happy new year :)**

 **Dear guest, thank you for the review, it is much appreciated.**

 **Thank you all also for the favorites and the follows, I am beyond happy every time I see that one of you decided to join the journey along with me. If you just read this, I also thank you for that.**

 ***Sigh* So, this chapter was really short but I didn't want to mix it with anything else. I hope it still satisfies and you'll stay with me even though I took this direction with the story. There is a lot coming up soon, a lot of (what are hopefully) surprises. It will include the Avengers movie as you have guessed but I won't retell everything, so trust me, it will still be my own story (kinda) and not a boring rewrite. Plus I try to fix whatever bothers me which is really a lot in that movie.**

 **See you next Saturday!**


	26. Chapter 25 Everything That's Left

Everything That's Left

 _I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep.  
And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare,  
like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.  
Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story_

The study is quiet with the exception of the quill scratching over the paper. Odin formulates some important letters while Thor stares ahead, trying his best to not take in anything. The room looks the same as the last time he was in here, mocking him in the most cruel way. He hadn't taken more than two steps into it and settled for waiting right next to the door.

Most of the time he still feels numb, not being able to fully comprehend that Loki would not just magically walk in through the doors and roll his eyes at Thor's expression. This whole thing feels surreal, like a dark dream he would wake up from if he just tried hard enough. Ever since the words had left his mouth, even when his mind still fought against the truth, Asgard had seen no sunshine nor had the rain ceased for a moment. The people knew what happened before his father announced the horrid truth. Thor can't help though but to protest against his further plans.

'We shouldn't be doing this.'

'Your- Loki would want to bring peace.', Odin defends himself. Thor closes his eyes, no longer being able to look at him, and shakes his head.

'Bury him.', Thor clarifies. 'We don't know if he is dead.' The last word almost refuses to leave his mouth. It hurts just to think it. Thor knows it is crazy but he can't give up on him just yet. How could he ever give up the love of his life? It would mean having to move on, eventually to forget. He can't do that. It would break him if he would just forget one detail of the ravenette.

'Thor. It will help.' Odin doesn't want to understand and tries to reason with him in a calm but slightly annoyed tone.

Whom? Odin's reputation? But as sudden as the anger starts to flare up, it is gone, leaving him feeling hallow and broken in its wake. Thor would like to leave but he knows it will not do anything to change his current mood. He just wants to go to his room and fall asleep while smelling at Loki's pillow. His beard grows messy and it has been some days since he last took a bath because, how could he care about his appearance? Everything reminds him of Loki, setting him in a constant state of too deep grief to care for anything. So when Odin looks up, expecting another long and tiresome discussion, Thor just remains silent and continues to stare at the floor.

He almost overhears the knock on the door, he does not bother to look up though. Laufey motions his guards to wait outside and steps into the room, letting his gaze sweep over the first prince of Asgard and its king. He is small for a Jotun but by no means as small as Loki. He easily towers over the two present Asgardians. Odin stands up which just makes the height difference all the more noticeable. Thor remains passive and looks out of the window behind his father.

'My condolences for your loss, Allfather. I know too well the pain of losing a child.' The blue giant bows slightly, real sympathy tainting his voice.

Odin nods and thanks him. Laufey then turns to Thor, noting his demeanor. 'You don't seem to be doing well, Thor Odinson.' His red eyes show nothing.

When it becomes apparent that he will not take part in their conversation, his father says: 'The death of Loki takes its toll on all of us.'

'They must have been very close.', Laufey says when turning around again. 'This kind of grief is usually reserved for one's mate.' Thor can't bear the earnest in his voice and sighs.

'That is why I am in need to speak to you.', Odin sits down again.

'Dealing with grief by ignoring it won't heal you, Allfather. I never though you would discuss peace treaties over your son's dead body.', Laufey notes. 'Though I cannot pretend not to be grateful for it.' He inclines his head and takes the seat opposite to Odin but places it to keep both of them within his line of sight. 'Jotunheim suffers and a new allegiance with Asgard would be much appreciated.', the giant admits. 'But I do realize now that what we, what I did to Midgard was wrong. But I changed and a new peace without distrust is very welcome.'

'This isn't-' He takes a deep breath. 'There is something about Loki I first have to tell you.' He takes a deep breath and stands up to look out of the window when he begins his story, describes the temple, the lonely baby and how he took it home with him. After he finished his story, the man are not unmoved by it. Silence envelops them. Odin's back is slightly hunched over, Laufey stares at the table ever since Odin got to the part with his son alone in the temple. Thor's eyes itch. This had been what drove his love away in the first place.

The frost giant scrunches his eyes shut, keeping the sadness from flowing out. 'This is like losing him all over again.' He takes some deep pained breaths. 'He wasn't abandoned. You're wrong about that. There were several guards placed at the temple to keep him safe. They must have been killed, either by your men or one of the beasts. Farbauti and I assumed all those years that some wild beast must have killed first the men and then took the baby. We wanted to keep him safe from the fighting and believed no one would enter our most sacred place. When we arrived at the temple to collect him, our men were nowhere to be seen and he was gone. The steps were covered in blood. He was our firstborn.', he whispers, eyes still cast down. Thor's heart gets heavy.

Odin had turned around, looking hurt and shocked. 'I am sorry. I-' Farther he doesn't get.

'It is alright.', he calmly interrupts and waves him off with his hand. 'I hold no grudge. From what I have seen you have offered him a better life than I could ever have hoped for. Maybe our worlds can grow together over the death of our common son. I just wished I would have known him.' He sighs.

'We were to announce his true parentage when he died. And I would have rather have our realms at war than him gone.', Odin tells him not without remorse. Silence settles again, not uncomfortable this time. Each of the men is caught in his own thoughts about the ravenette.

'Loki. A beautiful name.', Laufey states softly, as if tasting the name for the first time.

'What was his real name?' Thor's voice is hoarse when he participates in their conversation for the first time.

A small smile is on the blue face when he shakes his head slightly. His eyes are alight with memories. 'He didn't have a name yet. He was so tiny and so young.'

Thor's smile falters. 'Too small for a giant.', he accuses.

Laufey huffs. 'He had magic, enough to make up for his size, we could feel it even at his young age. That is also the reason why the throne won't fall to my other sons. They don't have an ounce of magic in them unfortunately. They would make no good kings, they could never wield the power that comes with the title. But I heard formidable things about the younger prince of Asgard. He was known for his magic all over the realms.'

'Aye. Loki was perfect.', Thor admits wistfully. Tears already tug at his eyes.

Laufey scrutinizes him. 'I was not wrong about you.', he says without accusation. Sadness lingers in his gaze.

Thor shakes his head to clear it. He doesn't care anymore about pretense. Apparently it is obvious enough to strangers. How they ever managed to keep it a secret is over his head. 'We were lovers.', he tells the king.

Laufey sighs. 'I am sorry. A marriage would have been-', he interrupts himself. He turns back to the Allfather and in low voices they start to draft a basic treaty to distract themselves from the tragedy of their lives and so they can at least pretend that that was not the reason they had met in the first place. The delegation from Jotunheim would already leave in a few days. Odin would return their Casket as a sign of good will after the repair of the Bifrost has been completed. It had been the only mean of transport to get them here. Just the fact that Odin himself if half-Jotun had allowed him to travel with it to Jotunheim and invite the house of Laufey to be part of the funeral. It is the only royal house being able to attend because the Casket would just take frost giants and those with enough giant-blood in them safely to the other side of the opened passage. Thor's blood is too Asgardian to allow him to accompany his father, not that he would have wished for it. The hate between their people makes effectively Odin the only person in Asgard with enough heritage of Jotunheim to travel with the Casket. In the near future there probably would not be any diplomatic missions to other realms because the king can't travel without any guards and he wouldn't be able to take anyone with him. The journey to the icy world had been dangerous enough and nothing anyone wants to repeat. But Odin knew it was absolutely necessary for them to speak.

Seeing Laufey now in front of him Thor can't help but wonder how Loki looked like in this form. His heart begins to tear and fall into a bottomless pit and Thor excuses himself after they agreed on the terms and settle for talking about Loki, the wonderful cerulean skin still on his mind.

The funeral is short and Thor later remembers none of it. He doesn't touch any of the food nor accept any empty words from the royalties of his own realm. As soon as he can he withdraws himself from the scenery. His feet carry him without thought to the only place he can stand to be right now. Breathing in the familiar scent of Loki, Thor strips out of his armor as soon as he is in Loki's chambers. Dressed in the ravenette's favorite tunic he had stolen years ago from Thor, the blond lies down on his bed and cries himself to sleep.

xXxXx

The leaves fall down and Thor's grief deepens. The first snow comes and Thor misses Loki's warmth lying next to him. The first flowers bloom all over the land and Thor is caught in eternal winter. The sun begins to heat the world up but the pain does not lessen.

His friends gave up trying to cheer him up a long time ago. Thor is functioning but not living. No smile ever graces his face. He doesn't attend any feasts, celebrations or gatherings anymore and locks himself in his or Loki's rooms to evade anyone. He is a broken man and the people know it, though not the true reason for it. Some guess, especially after the announcement that they share no blood but no one dares to voice such unmentionable misdeeds. Not that the prince of Asgard would have cared. He listens and seldom speaks as life around him continues and soon no one even mentions his onetime brother anymore. Every morning and every evening Thor goes to the dining hall to please his mother and he attends his duties but without his heart in them.

His friends are crowded around him, chatting happily about Thor knows not what and banter among each other. Thor is not listening but staring ahead without really seeing anything. They had tried to work him up again and make him smile but had come to realize that he needs time, Thor refuses to talk about the ravenette with anyone, not after his funeral. It is too painful, and it are his memories, his Loki, he can't share that, not with anyone. Sif joined their little group somewhen, getting unbelieving stares when she rightly claimed to understand what Thor truly went through. She might have judged in the past, but she came to accept that for Thor Loki never was just his brother. His other friends arranged themselves with it when they saw how deeply he grieved, just when it didn't matter anymore. They accept his love now that it is of no consequence.

A familiar blond shock of hair towers over the crowd and makes its way to Thor's table. Thor almost diverts his eyes at the rush of memories coming with it. He hadn't seen him since before. His clothes are starting to look worn and sadness as well as insecurity are written plain over his face.

'My Prince.' He bows slightly awkward, no ounce of mischief in his voice this time.

'What is it?' He wants to be nicer but his heart beats painfully. The last time they met and the sandy haired man had said that, Thor had had his last big fight with Loki. He feels stupid for not trusting his lover and guilty for spoiling their short time with each other over such a petty quarrel.

He swallows hard. 'I am sorry for your loss.' He does not look directly at Thor. No one had expressed this sorrow for a while now.

'And I am for yours.' Thor inclines his head slightly.

The man closes his eyes briefly and nods. 'I meant to come for some time now but..', he trails off.

'I know.'

'Can- can we talk somewhere more private?' He looks up, pleading in his eyes.

Thor stares at his almost untouched food. 'About what?', he asks to gain some time.

'Loki.', he almost asks. To hear his lover's name on someone else's lips has become rare.

Thor takes a deep breath. 'I am sorry but-' He can't bring himself to quite finish the sentence. If he should talk to someone about the ravenette, is it not the young man standing in front of him? Is he not the only one who looks like he can at least partly understand what Thor goes through?

'I miss him.' Thor almost does not catch the whispered words because of the noise of the hall.

'Me too.' Tears pool in his eyes. 'Alright. Let us get out of here.' He barely glances at his friends who had ceased their conversation and eye them now questioningly.

'Thor.' Worry drips from the one syllable. Frigga walks up to them from the entry. The sandy haired man looks like he was struck by lightening. Panic and horror consume his face when he spins around fast to find the queen almost behind him.

'I- I- I should leave.' His voice quivers and his eyes dart between the door and the windows. Thor almost laughs about the effect his mother has on the young man if the change in him would not be so tragic. He reacts like a peasant being confronted with royalty for the first time, he is not the man who mocked the first prince at their first encounter.

'No, stay.' He frowns slightly and catches the arm of the retreating other.

His eyes are wide. 'No, no. Mommy doesn't allow.', he almost pants.

Frigga frowns at him as well. 'Allows what?', she asks in a friendly and calm tone.

'To talk to you. None of the royal family but..' He looks at the floor, ready to faint. He clearly panics.

A fond smile graces Frigga's features. 'What is your name?' A look confirms to Thor that she also thinks the other one behaves rather like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

The blond backs away till his back hits the wall directly behind the table Thor sat on, and shakes his head vigorously. 'I can't, I can't, I can't, please.' He starts to shake and look more urgent for an escape.

'You can't what?' Thor tries to soothe him, he feels all the eyes of the hall on the back of his head.

'Mommy will be angry. Mommy can't find out.' He begins to sob when it all spills out. 'You- Y-You can't know I exist. Mommy forbade.' The half-crazy frightened expression touches something in Thor he thought he lost.

'Why?', he asks as soft as he can.

'Grandpa wouldn't allow you to know.' A few tears slip over his cheek. 'Please, mom- mommy forbade me to show but I had to talk to you. He can't know. No one can know!'

'Who?' This is getting more and more confusing.

'Grandpa. Mommy said he would use me if he ever knew, but he is already using me and mommy isn't there to protect me.' His arms wrap around his body when he looks down, his eyes are shining with tears.

'Where is your father?', Frigga asks, voicing her concern. Thor's throat feels constricted and the urge to summon Mjolnir grows.

He sniffles. 'I never met him.', he admits.

'And your mother?' He begins to wail, effectively catching the attention of the very last person in the room.

'Mommy is gone.', he forces out. He looks down to Thor.

Finally the blond moves and pulls the taller man into his arms. He melts into his embrace and sobs harder. 'I miss mommy.' Thor forces his own tears back but his voice breaks nonetheless.

'I miss him too.', Thor whispers into his ear. He takes a deep breath. 'I always thought Loki just found out about your shape-shifting and protected you.' How could he have been so blind? Shape-shifting is rare, the people capable are often related by blood. Maybe Thor didn't want to believe. Sleipnir's head presses against his shoulder. 'You're his son.' Thor feels him nod weakly. 'Come, we should get out of here.' Frigga frowns at her son's behavior, not being able to make sense to it.

Thor takes his hand and they walk out, the eyes of everyone on them. Sleipnir drags his feet and still hiccups, Thor holds on if barely. The anger keeps the tears at bay.

They don't speak until they reach the dark chambers the second price called his own, which now had become Thor's permanent residence and sanctum. The sandy haired man enters the room after Thor. 'He would occasionally take me here when I was younger and had nightmares or felt lonely and mommy didn't want to stay in the grounds.' Sleipnir's hand glides over the covers of the bed. 'It hasn't changed a bit.'

'In the morning I will have some servants ready you your own chambers.' Sleipnir's eyebrows rise. 'You won't go back.', Thor decides. Some of his old authority enters his voice. 'You're all that is left of Loki. You won't continue to live in the stables like a secret hidden away. You can keep this form, right?', he asks suddenly.

'I- I never tried but I think, yes.', Sleipnir sounds insecure.

'Good.' Thor nods to himself.

'Thor? Can I- stay here?' He looks around the room to make sure Thor understands.

The blond thinks about ti for a moment. He has no less right to stay in Loki's chambers than he himself, maybe even more so. 'Of course. There is a second bedroom. I will let it be prepared.'

'Thank you.' His voice is a soft hush of the wind, much like Loki's. Sleipnir sits down on the bed, Thor is barely taller though he still stands.

'How- how old are you?', he asks, mustering his light hair.

The other looks down, seeing the hope and real question in his blue eyes and evading their gaze. 'I am three hundred and nine years old. So, no, you are not. But you are like it to me.' He swallows. 'I never knew my father. But you made mommy really happy.'

Thor sits down next to him and Sleipnir rests his head on his shoulder. 'I will take care of you. I swear.' He owes his lover that.

'Mommy said Grandpa send him away. I think he is dead.', the taller man confides in him.

'Odin knew you exist and let you stay in the stables.', Thor states through gritted teeth. Rage about the old man fills him and takes him the air to breathe. 'But he didn't know you inherited your mother's talents.' Thor understands now what the other had meant by 'being used' by his grandfather. How could he have done so? 'Your father was no man, I assume.' _Shape-shifting and childbearing can result in monstrous outcomes._ Odin's words ring in his mind. _The outcome could be disastrous_ , his lover had said, probably with the eight-legged horse he had birthed in mind.  
 _  
_'Mommy birthed me as a mare. I assume my father was a steed as well.', he says, tears welling up again.

'Shush.' Thor rubs his back somewhat awkwardly. 'You're not alone anymore.' When the taller man starts to cry in earnest again, Thor maneuvers them on the bed so his sandy hair rests on his chest.

'Loki never told me you existed.' But Thor remembers his enigmatic statements and strange behavior about Sleipnir, how he would insist on his promises, how he would treat him like a child each time he passed his box and call him 'little one'. Something else comes to his mind when he thinks about Loki lying to him about Thor being his first to bed. _I did not lie. At least no one I remember_ , he had said laughing. Is this the secret of the man lying in his arms?

Thor contemplates for some moments before asking anyway: 'Frigga doesn't know, does she?' There is hope in his voice because he wants to believe his mother to be a good person, not someone who would lock away her grandson and keep him away for personal gain.

'I do not think so.', he answers slowly. 'Grandpa forbade Loki to ever talk about me. He wanted to tell you though and break that oath.'

A smile flickers over Thor's face. 'I know. I told him he doesn't have to. Sometimes I was very jealous of you. You seemed to have a far closer relationship.'

A choked laugh escapes him. 'And I of you. Before you, Loki would spend far more time with me, even against Grandpa's wishes. But I understand. He loved both of us.'

'When did you find out about your abilities?'

'I don't know. I was very young. Mommy hid it with a spell until I was old enough to control it properly.' He bits his lip.

Thor clears his throat. 'You wanted to talk about something.', he notes after some moments.

Sleipnir lets the silence stretch out for some time, pondering how to approach the matter. 'I could always feel him. Wherever he was. I knew it. Not- not exactly where but I knew he was there. Even when Loki traveled to Alfheim or Muspelheim, I could sense him, just further away. Since he-' He clears his throat when his voice breaks. 'Since then the feeling is meddled in. Mommy feels like he is away, far away. Further away than anywhere he ever was. But he is still there. Just out of reach.'

Thor swallows hard. 'Maybe you just wish for that.'

'No.' He shakes his head. 'That is not it.'

'Maybe then you feel his soul in Helheim.', Thor whispers.

'I thought so. He feels like he isn't even in the nine realms anymore. Maybe I feel him in Hel or maybe his body drifts in space. I am not sure what of him I can feel through the connection. I- I wouldn't have bothered you with that but the feeling changed some days ago.'

Thor furrows his brow. 'Changed?'

'Loki is..' He sighs. 'He is not there entirely. Nor anymore at least. He feels closer and further away at the same time. It's like he is in two places at once and none at all.' Sleipnir tries to explain.

'Within the nine?' Thor tries to keep his voice low though he wants to shout.

'A part, yes.', he affirms.

'Where?', the word is barely whispered.

'I- Thor, I don't know. And even if I would, there is no way for us to go there to retrieve his body. And I doubt he is there. It would be possible that there is something like a pathway and his presence is just an echo of his true position. And I can't concentrate and figure out his position in the nine because of his other presence being there and my limited knowledge of true magic wielding. We would probably end up somewhere in the middle or nowhere at all.' He tries to explain it like a tunnel. Loki could either be on one side, or somewhere in it, Sleipnir can feel the tunnel but not his exact position. Maybe there is a connection between the nine and a random point in space where Loki drifts and it is not usable, maybe he truly is in two places at once or there is just a theoretical bridge that is called forth from one side. Maybe an Asgardian soul just died somewhere else and his soul ventured to Helheim, leaving this visible trace.

Thor's hopes sink again but he understands Sleipnir's confusion. He is magical like Loki but he could never learn how to use it. Unfortunately Thor knows even less about the ordeal than the other man. He knows that Sleipnir wants to believe his mother is still alive and seeks to convince Thor of his theory. Thor would give a lot to actually be able to bury Loki. If he'd still be alive, he would have come back by now. Maybe his body got torn apart and the violation had been felt by Sleipnir. Still a little hope remains in his heart, sinking in deeper at a place solely reserved for Loki. He can't take the hope from the young man though. That would be cruel.

Somewhen after the sun set, Sleipnir fell asleep on his chest, his tears slowly drying. Thor had tried to take his mind of this ridiculous hope but has ended up telling stories about Loki when he was young.

The darkness had enveloped them when the doors open almost silent and Frigga's illuminated figure enters.

'He will stay here. I will not let him go again.', Thor says decidedly.

His mother nods, knowing it is useless to argue the matter now. 'Your father requires your help. Sleipnir vanished.' He had noticed how Odin before had ridden out once a moon, topmost, now after Loki's death he became rather clingy to his gray stallion. Everyone had dismissed it as a distraction. She didn't know but could she not have guessed by now the reason for that, not even after his performance in the dining hall?

'And he won't return. Why should he?' He can feel his face slip into a hard masque. His father shouldn't have kept him a secret but apparently he isn't able to do anything else than that.

'Thor?', she asks, frowning at his words.

'I don't believe you didn't know but I honestly don't care. He will stay here and no longer live below his status. He is all I got. If you understand that, or not. I loved Loki and losing him cut away the light out of my life. Whatever I can do for him, I will.'

'Who is he?', she whispers, fearing the answer.

'I don't believe you didn't know your son was pregnant. He will stay here. He is all that is left of him.' Thor scowls at her though the darkness probably conceals it. 'Sleipnir is now part of this lousy family. If you like it or not.'

She takes some breaths when she turns her head away from him to regain control. He had long ago accepted that Sleipnir was the best friend of Loki, she didn't even know about his shape-shifting.

'Odin does not seem to know about the blond lying in your bed though.', she says quietly.

'And I would wish you to keep it that way. I will take care of him and I wish not for Odin to know of his origin before I had words with him. He didn't treat Sleipnir right.'

Frigga nods, then swallows hard, still shaken from what she just learned and leaves the two men alone in the darkness.

xXxXx

Thor walks down the silent corridors when a familiar figure hastens out of Loki's chambers.

'Sleipnir!'

The sandy haired man turns around surprised. His arms are full of books and scrolls. A small smile flickers over his face when he recognizes Thor.

'I was on my way to the library.', he announces, looking down at his learning materials.

Thor smiles. The enthusiasm with which he soaks up knowledge is impressive. 'I see. Mind if I join you?'

He inclines his head because a full bow would have resulted in disaster. 'I would be honored.'

Ever since the stranger has found refuge in the palace, the people wondered who he is. There was a lot of talking but it begins to cease. The royal family decided against giving the secret of Sleipnir's origin away. He went through too much already, having to deal with the loss of his mother and only friend completely on his own. He doesn't need to face court and its Valkyries. Furthermore Sleipnir is barely more than a child, a consequence of him not having spend much time in an Asgardian shape. Odin had agreed instantly after finding out about his grandson's abilities. He was shocked and had silently endured Thor's enraged accusations, his threats and his curses. Maybe his father knew he deserved it. Thor took the son of his lover in and tried to make a home for him right there in his mother's old sanctum. Sleipnir might not look like Loki but he is the only one who can conjure a smile on Thor's face. He is just like Loki when he was young, free spirited, inquisitive and almost impossible to keep away from books, a small smile almost never absent from his face but in his eyes lingers that sadness just one person could succeed in wiping away.

Sleipnir had taken it on him to go through the studies of Thor's brother but noticed quite soon that they are way too advanced for his limited knowledge of magic. Even Frigga had not been able to understand them completely, let alone follow the instructions. He hadn't given up the hope to find Loki alive yet, nor has Thor. It is hard to not believe in it when young hopeful eyes stare at him while he speaks with too much conviction than is good for his age, when the young one believes so much in it as if his life depends on it. He is so sure about what he feels, Thor can't help but nurse the hope in his heart. If there is just the slightest chance his lover is still alive, he will seize him. Thor instructed Heimdall to keep looking for Loki, knowing it won't do anything. Loki would have returned to him if he would be alive, so that does not leave many opportunities. Thor never felt this useless. There is nothing he can do to help, nothing to do but wait for someone else to do what should be his responsibility. To carry Loki home.

Sleipnir chatters exited about his new discoveries as they walk to the library. Thor smiles, not really understanding half of it but is happy that his nephew-stepson is happy.

They round a corner and almost bump into Laufey and his entourage. Thor and Sleipnir quickly bow as do the guards.

'Your highness.' Sleipnir's voice takes the typical high pitch like whenever he is terrified or insecure. He clearly forgot that the Jotnar are still residing here. He is not easily getting comfortable with strangers. Laufey and some of his people are now in Asgard on a regular basis to strengthen the delicate ties between their realms. Plus, they are the only outer-worldly visitors Asgard had in a while if one would not count the people stranded here since the destruction of the Bifrost.

'Prince Thor.' Laufey inclines his head but his eyes don't leave Sleipnir. 'And what is your name, young man?' Real curiosity swings in his voice.

'S-S-Sergio.' Thor tries to school his features and not let on anything. Loki surely had not taught his son how to lie properly. Oh, the irony. The offspring of the famous Liesmith can not even lie about his name. Fortunately Laufey does not inquire further but steps closer to Sleipnir. They had never met outside of official feasts and other occasions, especially there had always been a lot of people between them. Laufey must have asked himself the same questions about the trembling stranger as any other in Asgard and as to why Odin let him into his house. Now it becomes clear just how tall Sleipnir truly is. They are almost the same height, maybe Laufey is an inch taller but Thor could be mistaken.

'You are quite tall for an Asgardian.' Laufey wastes no time to voice it. His eyes glide over Sleipnir. Thor gulps. They had told Sleipnir that Laufey, and not Odin, is his true grandfather. He had taken it better than expected but it didn't really matter. His true form is not that of a frost giant, not even Asgardian. Sleipnir had tried to shape-shift into that form but couldn't accomplish much, claimed that he could not feel it. But they kept the secret from Laufey because Sleipnir asked them to, saying it would just cause all of them more pain and lead to further confusion.

Sleipnir nods and tries to evade the red eyed stare. A small smile ghosts over Laufey's face. 'You look like Loki's mother. Who is your father?' Thor barely contains a sigh. Did his father had to be wrong with every single thing considering frost giants? Their king certainly is more clever and perceptive than Odin ever claimed the 'brutes' to be.

He shrugs and sticks to the truth. 'I never met him.'

Laufey nods. 'Did you know my son?' Hope swings in every syllable.

'I did. He took good care of me. Loki was my best friend.' Sleipnir looks up with tears in his eyes and spots the distressed face of Laufey. 'Please, your highness.' He hoists the papers into one arm and takes hold of the king's hand. 'Are our loved ones every truly gone? He lives within us as long as we remember him.'

'You're wise beyond your age.' The pained expression does not go. He had just discovered that his son hadn't died as a child just to learn that it was too late to meet him.

Sleipnir still holds his hand and does not seem to notice his skin changing color. Thor's eyes fill with tears, wondering how his lover would have looked like in his natural form. Even the sandy hair turns black. Laufey's smile wavers little as the blue spreads on the light skin. The little one does not react but continues to assure him that his son would want them to be happy and go on with their lives. 'He was not one to linger on the bad things but see the positive. You can be very proud of him. Don't stop believing.' Sleipnir lets go of his hand with a watery smile and turns towards Thor. His skin changes back rapidly so when he looks down to make sure not to lose his books and papers, his hands are already their natural color again.

Thor's expression must confirm to Laufey whatever he guessed and his eyes convey sorrow and grief. He tries a smile and bows before they continue their walk to the library, the young one oblivious to the sad realizing gaze that follows them.

xXxXx

Laufey keeps his mouth shut about the incident but he takes a liking in the boy he knows to be is grandson. They spend a lot of time in private, talking about whatever comes to their minds. The Jotnar spend a lot of time to solidify the new connection between their realms, giving them all the time they need.

Sleipnir is no step closer at getting Thor out into the other realms to look for his lover.

'Thor.' The soft voice of Frigga startles him out of his thoughts.

'I am sorry, Mother.' He shakes his head to concentrate again.

'What is on your mind?' She knows the answer so Thor merely shrugs.

'Nothing in particular.', he lies.

'You are doing so much better now.' She places a comforting hand on his arm.

'Am I?' Caring for Sleipnir has given his life at least some purpose back but she probably knows he still falls asleep clutching Loki's pillow which had lost his scent long ago. The night hours are those in which he misses his ravenette the most. 'You just want me to continue life as if nothing happened. But it did. I did not just lose my brother or my best friend. I also lost the love of my life. I loved him like I won't love anyone else ever again.' He takes a deep breath.

She sighs. 'Your father wants to prepare you for the throne.'

Thor shakes his head. 'I swore to not do so without him. So I won't.'

'He won't..' Her voice trails off.

'He won't what? Go on, say it. I know he won't come back, no amount of wishful thinking will accomplish that. I know Loki is dead. Whatever Sleipnir thinks he feels, it is not him. But I let him search because he needs that. It matters little if we bury him should we truly find his body. It might be nice to know where his body is, but his soul is gone so the consolation would be empty. I am not delusional, Mother. He could not have survived that, not without serious damage. But that does not mean I can just forget about him like you.'

'You think I forgot your brother? Loki always was my son. Just because I spare you my sadness does not mean it is non-existent. You have enough to deal with, I did not want to add the grief of a mother to that.' Tears shine in her eyes.

Thor looks down at the table in shame. He is not the only one who has lost Loki. 'I am sorry. Everyone just expects me to move on. But I can't. I don't think I want to. Even if I wouldn't have sworn to the Norns not to be king without him at my side, I could not be. It hurts too much. I would not make a fine king, not even being able to take care of my own problems.' She pulls him into an embrace and Thor cries until his tears dry up.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **Just as a quick explanation: Laufey reacted like that because of his reaction in the first Thor movie. For me it certainly looked like he was a father who tragically lost his son during the war. So he grew up in the meantime and is not angry but just sad.**

 **To Sleipnir: Well, what can I say? If you are truly surprised then I have done my job at concealing the truth too well. I hinted several times that sandy hair is in truth an eight-legged stallion listening to the name of Sleipnir, but yeah. So many revelations... Phew.. Right, and in Asgardian standards he is still really young, 309 would probably mean around 7 or 8 in our measures. But because he is a horse (most of the time) he grew up faster, though his.. emotional balance did not.**

 **Well, next chapter still fights to be written but hopefully it will give in till next Saturday. So, until then!**

(Leave a review maybe?)


	27. Chapter 26 The Smile Of Sadness

The Smile Of Sadness

 _More men are beaten than fail.  
Henry Ford_

Tony Stark has been called a lot of things, reckless, idiotic, narcissistic, egoistic and first and foremost arrogant, but never in his whole life had anyone ever called him stupid. Well, at least not in that particular meaning. And no one ever would, for that matter. He knows he can be a dick at times so he usually doesn't care if people tell him that. The problem, the real problem, the billionaire philanthropist genius has is that he himself certainly doesn't feel that genius part in this moment. And that definitely is a first in his life. Not even in that stupid cave in Afghanistan had he felt this.. powerless. And yes, somehow stupid. He would never admit that of course to anyone because as far as everyone else is concerned he totally always knows what he is doing. Furthermore it's none of their business.

Tony's face is illuminated by the blue light as he stares frustrated right into it, trying to educe from it its secrets which would probably work if he just would glare at it angrily enough. He understands a lot about electricity and power, hell, probably more than anyone else in this room or complex given that some of it keeps him alive. He had build a miniaturized arc reactor out of scraps while being threatened with death and avoided being poisoned by palladium because of it. Fine, Fury and his spy had helped with the last part but that doesn't make his feat any less impressive in his eyes. And still this freaky little object doesn't make sense. Fortunately the other scientists are even more clueless than he is, so they won't notice how lost he feels.

He rubs his eyes and goes back to look at the data flowing over the screen, a frown edged on his face. It is physically impossible and still the proof stares right back at him and doesn't even blink. Unlimited power that apparently comes from nowhere. It is not possible, at least not with earth physics, and even if he would accept that the small cube may hold the answer to this riddle and could be rebuild with new technologies or accept that it even works because of completely different laws of nature, there is another problem. The massive amount of energy the Tesseract holds should emit more than just this tiny sparks the data shows him. With just these data, it will take years to find out what kind of energy powers it and that unnerves him to no end. Tony wants to tap into that power now and play with it, maybe even build something to harness it or rebuild the prison of energy. If he would just be able to figure it out. His fingers itch to find out how the blue cube works and if Fury really is right about that they have unlimited power in their fingers. It is absolutely unbelievable that such a small thing could hold the answer to all the energy problems of the world. Then again, the weapons Hydra used in the second world war technically shouldn't have exited either. They didn't understand the way the Tesseract works, nor had his father made any progress after fishing it out of the ocean. Not that they were too keen on building Hydra weapons and SHIELD has taken a hold of it rather soon after the end of that organization, it being too possibly dangerous as to be kept in private hands. If that crazy half-human of the Germans had been right about its origins it came from some deities of the north. Tony shakes his head. It is crazy to just think that but doubtless the blue glowing objects is not from this world. Six months ago Tony would have declared everyone crazy to even think about some aliens having placed stuff on this planet or 'forgotten' it here centuries ago. But he grows desperate for answers and it seems as fair as any other theory.

New life on other planets, in other worlds exists. That prospect is both frightening and exhilarating at once. A thousand possibilities come from it but also a hell lot of responsibility. What if not all of them are friendly as the one having visited New Mexico already? And if he remembers correctly, even that one destroyed a base in the matter of minutes. Hadn't like every alien movie ever made shown them exactly that stuff like that can always, and probably even will, go wrong? Hadn't he stopped manufacturing weapons because he couldn't guarantee the safety of the people supposed to benefit from them? Hadn't humanity proved, again and again, that it can't do right when given too much responsibility, when there is profit to make? Back then they had killed and chased away Indians, people of their own race, just to get something they wanted. This time, the people who sit on the treasures aren't even of the same species. What will stop the human race this time from just taking? What will stop the other side? Is humanity really ready for as big a gift as this?

The thoughts come unbidden to his mind and burden him like they often do when Tony stares particularly hard at the Tesseract. The gateway to another world this is supposed to be though none of them have seen proof of that. Just what world and what lies beyond, no one can tell. Is there the source of its power or does the unlimited power just enable that gateway? The unspoken aim of at least Jane is to use the energy to create new pathways and not just use it to solve energy problems. That is at least the official reason Tony is here as one of the world's leading scientists in clean energy with his arc reactor technology, to help them figure out how to tap the energy locked away in the small cube. They are able to securely activate and deactivate it but to have enough power to stabilize a wormhole through space and possibly time is not possible by now.

Tony flicks the data stream to the side of the screen when they don't make more sense and stares at the magical object again. Not that he'd believe it to be truly magical, it is science, discussion's over now. It's just science that's like light years ahead of anything he ever saw. Tony huffs. That strange girl might believe in magic but would certainly not convince him of such things. What is he supposed to believe in next? Unicorns and mermaids? He is no child anymore and doesn't read fairy tales and mistakes them for something real. It's ridiculous, the whole discussion with her was. Science never let him down, he doesn't think it will now. To even use the word magic is a personal insult to him.

'Hey Tony.'

Without turning around he answers: 'Hey Steph.'

'What's up, Jay?', she asks in the direction of the ceiling as she enters the room.

'Good morning, Miss. How are you today?' Jarvis chimes happily back. Installing his AI in this research facility, at least in his working and sleeping room, had been one of the first things he had done when coming here. And though Jay is polite to everyone, Tony thinks his emotional program took a liking in Steph.

'Fine, thanks. Any more luck today?' She turns to Tony. He hears the laughter in her voice.

Sighing he swings the chair around, tearing his eyes away from the Tesseract. 'Nope.', he admits, popping the 'p'. Stephanie leans slightly on his second worktable. She wears her dark hair in a ponytail and her sharp brown eyes are fixed on the cube behind the protective screen. Tony had Jarvis run a basic background check on her, like everyone else. Hey, he doesn't like surprises, not his fault. Stephanie Thatch has impressive degrees from Harvard and Yale, no known living relatives, and had grown up in England hence the nice accent reminding him in all the right ways of his AI. The only thing that seems odd about her is her extreme anxiety around the little blue object no one else displays. Everyone feels nervous around it, some more some less, but she seems to expect something to happen any time and mostly stays out of its immediate vicinity, as if it would jump in her face the second she'd come too close. There is also a trace of curiosity in her gaze along with a hell lot of wariness. Maybe the other thing Tony noticed is just because of that anxiety of being here at all, maybe it comes from something else. Her smile never seems to quite reach her eyes. Stephanie tries to cover it up but something happened to her. Tony knows that look well enough from his own face. He had smiled the same way after Afghanistan though she'd a better actor, he gotta give her that. It's hard to see the sadness lingering in her eyes and he wouldn't have done the same, he would have missed the signs.

A smirk is on her lips. 'I am shocked.'

Tony stands up and stretches his stiff back. 'I think I am done for now. How about lunch?', he asks smiling.

She raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. 'Shouldn't you at least pretend to work?' She motions to the blank screen.

'Hey! I do work.', he defends himself. 'On the opposite to you.'

Steph shrugs unfazed and crosses her arms, still leaning on the table and not taking a step to go. 'I do what I am here for.', she simply states.

'Distracting me?'

There is that infuriating smirk again. 'Oh, am I distracting you?', she asks amused.

'You seem to enjoy my company immensely as well.' He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Her smile wavers not one bit but something in her eyes shifts. 'Why wouldn't I?', she asks mechanically without much life in her voice. 'Still, I fear I still have to do some stuff for Jane. So, sorry. Maybe next time.' She's Jane Foster's assistant now for a year after the scientist had fired her former intern who apparently didn't have a clue about anything. Why had she ever hired someone like that Darcy? Tony can barely stand being around those drones who work above them but at least they understand occasionally what he wants to say.

Tony knows it is a plain lie though he can't tell how he knows. The hints are subtle and barely there but he usually sees them when she is in such a mood. Stephanie often does this. Whenever they are casually flirting just for fun, or they get too close to personal topics she finds a suitable excuse to vanish almost instantly and to block Tony off. Why exactly she does that, he cannot fathom but who is he to judge about strange behavior? Sometimes all it takes is a word or a gesture to get her to react like that.

Still he nods and she leaves him again alone in his small cubicle-like room. He chews on his lip and sits down again, not feeling like eating alone today, at least not just yet. He asks Jarvis to play some music and seconds later loud rock music blares through his office.

That is the reason why Fury allowed him to have a single room at the side of the big lab the rest of the scientists work in together. None other can understand that he can not concentrate with these other people around him or in complete silence. Tony had insisted he works better with music and not so well with idiots. Fury might have rolled his eye but complied and had this small room build for him. Good for the director. Tony would have complained long and loud enough and antagonized the others people until he would've been able to work alone. This just saved both of them a lot of time. Apparently he had really wanted Tony to work on this project. Not that Tony's surprised. He is a genius after all.

His suspicions about Stephanie get confirmed when he sees Jane and Dr. Selvig enter the laboratory in front of him alone, talking no doubt again about some freaky magic stuff. A year ago they together had formulated the Foster Theory and though SHIELD had its hands in it, Tony has to admits begrudgingly that it is quite something. From what he had Jarvis find out, they had help by someone who might be described as 'origin unknown' or 'from a galaxy far far away'. The calculations he had run indicate that her theory could maybe even challenge the relativity theory with the right back-up, the data matched exactly the calculated estimations of Jane's theory, and while Tony might agree that the movements within the universe could be described with it far easier and more exact than before, he still is no fan of her acceptance of magic. She might have had contact with another planet but that part of her personal philosophy is bullshit. And he is totally not jealous he missed the alien and the possibility to study their technology they use to travel to their planet. Though he has the feeling Steph actually seems to know quite a lot about space and its workings as well, even though she wasn't with that Foster girl back then a year and a half ago, he would like to talk to someone who really saw all that awesome stuff out there. Did he mention he is not jealous? Because he totally is not.

Other scientists whose names Tony doesn't bother to remember swarm around them as they ask for their results. He leans back in his chair. Jane never says that real magic exists, just some kind of energy or force in the air, he has to give her that, but the scientist in him just puts his foot down with something that irrational. He sighs.

Hours later, and it could have been days for all Tony cares, he finally falls into his bed. The quarters for the whole crew are above the ground and not a hundred feet under it like the giant lab. He feels slightly uncomfortable underneath the earth but the light is good enough down there to keep him from freaking out. Fortunately enough at night he can see the sky and feel a breeze on his skin. This NASA facility in the middle of nowhere is also working as a SHIELD base to host them and offers enough space for all the agents and scientists who work on the Tesseract. At least no civilian lives anywhere near here.

Tony looks at the clock at 3:17 in the morning. His body is covered in sweat and his heart still beats furiously. After taking some deep breaths to calm and shake of the remnants of the dream he knows he won't find sleep again here. The room SHIELD had assigned to him is small, barely better than the cot in his workshop at home. A bed, a small dresser and an adjacent bathroom are all he can call his own but it suffices. He has Jarvis for the rest. He has not come here for luxury.

Quietly Tony opens the door to the semidarkness of the hallway and peeks out to make sure not to run into someone. No one should see him this way. He even reprogrammed Jarvis to leave him be in moments like this when the surveillance of a special cave is all too close to his mind.

He sneaks through the corridor and knocks softly on the last but two doors on the left, then enters without hesitation. The small room is almost identical to his own except that the bed is still occupied. Steph sleeps apparently but when he approaches her bed, she scoots over and allows him to slip in without a word from his part. She wriggles a little downwards and rests her head on his stomach once he lies comfortable. Her hair is slightly illuminated by the glow of his arc reactor. Tony embraces her when he feels her snuggle into his side, shaking like a leaf.

'Bad dream?', he asks after some moments of comfortable silence.

'Yep.', she admits silently, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

'Why didn't you come over?' He strokes her hair.

He feels her smile against his stomach. 'Eight nights in a row seemed a little pathetic.'

'Hey, it's not. I know how it is when you need a real person to draw you out of the nightmares. I know how it is to wake up and..'

'.. feel lost.', she finishes his sentence after a while. Stephanie's shaking slowly stops as she relaxes against his body. 'What was yours about?', she inquires.

'Palladium poisoning. I could feel it pumping through my blood like mud again.' She remains silent as Tony talks about his demons haunting him at night. He always needs to talk it away and not ignore it in his workshop as before.

'What was yours about?', Tony asks her after he finished.

She needs so long he already thinks she fell asleep again. Steph usually never speaks about her dreams as they hunt her also during her waking, they are probably still too close. 'Darkness.', she whispers into the dark. 'Darkness and green eyes.'

xXxXx

 _Green eyes smile up at him, his lips are curled into a smile._

 _'What?', he asks, pointedly raising the book from his lap to remind Thor that his is interrupting him during his studies._

 _'I love you.', the blond simply states._

 _His smile widens for a second, then he places the book on the table, stands up and walks over to Thor who opens his arms to welcome him. Pale hands cup his face before he presses a kiss on Thor's mouth. 'I love you too.', Loki whispers back._

Thor wakes up with Loki's name dying on his lips. He clutches a pillow to his chest and his lips still burn from the memory. His arms itch to hold him, anyone and not just an object, longs for Loki's warm back pressed against his chest, for his breathing, his annoyed glance. The dream still lingers on his mind and when he sits up to let his head rest in his hands and finally lets out what he usually keeps to himself by now.

'Loki.' He whispers it like a prayer, like the word is the source of great power and comfort. It is velvet on his tongue and for a short moment makes everything more bearable.

Thor sighs and stands up, the sun already peaks in through the curtains, promising a nice warm day and that winter lies behind them finally. He walks over to the window and lets his gaze wander over the sheer endless city, the woods and the sea barely visible from this side of the palace. It is a sight to behold, however, Thor just sees what his beloved saw every morning and now will never see again. He yanks the curtain shut and dips the room into a gloomy twilight. The bright light of the day is too much. The chambers seem somehow more right when not bathed in sun but in moonlight, the only reason he still opens the curtains at all, like the rooms are supposed to be like this, they somehow demand this light. The magic then almost buzzes through the empty air which still holds the scent of old tomes, herbs and sandalwood along with something like Loki, though that last started to fade and is more a memory than reality by now.

Thor hadn't set foot into his chambers in moons after having transferred everything he still deemed necessary to his new sleeping place including Loki's pillow and some of the books and other things the ravenette had forgotten over the years.

He tries to be quiet as to not wake the other blond next room when sneaking into the bathing room to get ready for the day. After getting dressed Thor sits down in an armchair, flickers listless through the pages of a book written in a language he is quite sure he should have learned in the halls of learning, waiting for the rest of the palace to notice the bright new day and get busy with their day work.

He begun reading for real about some dull herb lore from Alfheim when the servant knocks on the door and brings breakfast for Thor and Sleipnir and opens the curtains to let some light in because Frigga does not think it a good idea for Thor to sit in candle light or the dark all day. A small note on the tray asks Thor for his attendance to the daily court, a necessary formality because, at least unofficially, he no longer is the heir to the throne and no part of the counsel, though the servants think of it more as a reminder given that their prince is still in mourning. As every day the blond quickly skims it and then throws it away. Picking up his duties again is supposed to help deal with the loss and so he does it if just to make his mother happy. So Thor eats though he is not hungry, he smiles though he is not happy and he lives though he longs to be with his love again.

Thor leaves the chambers and goes to the throne room before Sleipnir even stood up, today the pain is worse than before, fresh and raw again despite all that time and he can't look into the shining eyes of the one whom his lover gave life to, who came into Thor's life just because he left. Thor hates to dream about Loki and still lives for those short moments when he believes the ravenette still with him.

The throne room is still empty for the best part except for the warriors three and Sif waiting for the audience to begin. Picking up his training had been something his father insisted upon and Thor saw no reason not to do so and make him worry less because it doesn't really matter to him what he does anymore. It had been a long time though since he spoke to his friends on his own accord and about anything remotely important to any of them. They understand he needs time and space and are willing to grant him that but also their worry grows. Thor knows they will stop being his friends but again he finds he doesn't mind. He also knows they meet without him to have fun and he can't begrudge them this. He is not the same he once was, not what they need anymore. He doesn't know if he can still be a friend. They probably won't wait for him to overcome this grief.

'Hello, Thor.' Fandral beckons him over.

Thor merely nods and goes over to stand with them.

'How are you?', Sif asks quietly.

He puts a smile on his face. 'Fine and you?'

He sees pity in her gaze and it makes him sick. Everyone knows his smiles aren't genuine, hadn't been for years but Norns, they could at least pretend not to see and leave him be.

'Will you train today?'

Thor shrugs. 'Depending on how long this will last. But I assume yes, in the afternoon.' Thor had found some relief for the time being in beating the Hel out of others and his own injuries that come from being beaten with the same ferocity. The pain that comes from that distract him at least a little. It somehow seems to lessen his personal pain for a bit.

The rest of the court fulls in slowly as they speak about this and that, nothing the blond would remember for longer than the duration of the conversation. Laufey walks in with Sleipnir, deep in conversation. The king of Jotunheim had taken great interest in his new found family and Sleipnir enjoys that for once he isn't the tallest person in the room. Laufey had personally begun teaching his grandson the ancient magic of their people, he apparently is a quick learner, and had already asked Odin if he might take Sleipnir with them to Jotunheim somewhen to show him everything. Thor is happy for the sandy haired man to have found company to appreciate him along with his place in this world. At least his life is for the better though he still has not given up his ridiculous hopes.

Odin enters the room at last and opens the court with a sharp thud of Gungnir before sitting down. Several people step forward to present requests, wishes and requirements and the day drowns in them. After a while Thor stops to listen but doesn't engage in conversation like most of the other people preset either waiting for it being their turn or for the court to finally end.

Suddenly the doors fly open and everyone looks up shocked and perplexed to find out who would so rudely interrupt court when Heimdall runs in. His breath comes out in pants as if he had run the whole way from his lonely watching point he still keeps though the Bifrost was destroyed. His eyes are wide and his expression is haunted.

'My liege.' He hastily drops down on one knee when he is close enough to the throne. Everyone wonders what made the ever watchful leave his post. 'Loki lives.', he forces out, panting heavily.

Complete silence follows as the people present digest that information and look at their king for his reaction. All the years as regent had not prepared him for this and his usual regal demeanor slips to make way to shock. and surprise for everyone to see. His mouth moves without a word spilling from it for several moments. 'What did you say?'

'Loki, Sire. I saw..', Heimdall pauses shortly. 'I do see him again. First it was but a glimpse, now I am sure. There is no mistaking.'

'Where is he?' He tries to school his features and keep his voice steady but fails.

'On Midgard, Sire. And-' He blinks furiously, his eyes not focused on the scenery before him but on actions performed worlds away. He takes a deep breath before continuing, as if he doesn't want to say it, can't believe what is in front of his eyes. '-he attacks it.'

Odin leans forward in his throne. 'Attack?'

'First he talked to the mortals, proclaimed himself their king. Then he started attacking them when they would not budge. Loki killed- a few and it gets worse, my lord.'

He nods to himself, trying to process the information that his son would do such a deed. 'Where has he been?', he asks to distract from the terrible truth.

'I caught a short glimpse just, somewhere far away from our nine realms, a place I know not where it lies. Loki has an army backing him, waiting there for him, to fortify his claim.', Heimdall says.

'He has gone mad.', Odin proclaims.

Heimdall sighs. 'It would appear so, Sire.' The keeper seems lost for words as is everyone else.

'What an army is it?'

'One I have never seen before. They are of no race I recognize. They are called the Chitauri. What they are, I cannot tell. Somehow I believe to know them, but why I do not understand. They don't belong to Loki though, they are under the command of someone else. Loki offered the Tesseract for their services.'

Odin shakes his head. 'The Tesseract has been lost for centuries.'

'It is no longer.', Heimdall says. 'The mortals of Midgard found it, it is where Loki landed, what he probably locked on. He used its power to create a portal. As long as that existed my gaze could pierce the world outside of our realms.', he explains.

'Whose are these Chitauri?', Odin asks with a suspicion forming on his mind.

'I can not believe it, I just heard of him in legends. But he was there. The Mad Titan, Sire.'

Odin lets out a heavy sigh. 'Are you sure?' When the keeper nods, he closes his eyes briefly. 'It has been long, Heimdall, but he certainly exists. He once tried to forge a weapon to wage war upon the galaxies, so we hid the components of the weapon whenever we encountered them so he could never finish it.'

'You met him?', Laufey asks.

'No, but there are prophecies, visions. Too many for it not to be taken serious. I once locked my gaze on him in the Odinsleep. So I know he exists and he will try to finish his weapon this time. We cannot let him, it would mean the end of the universe.' Odin nods to himself. 'The court is dismissed for today.', he announces and motions Heimdall, Thor and Laufey with Sleipnir to follow him to his study behind the throne room. Thor had almost forgotten the other people are still there.

'He is a danger. Not just to Midgard but to all the nine. I may well guess the person behind this wants the Tesseract not for peaceful purposes.' Odin starts pacing the room agitated.

'Loki needs to be stopped.' The words leave Thor's mouth without his consent.

Surprised his father looks at him. 'He cannot roam freely on Midgard and start a war without Asgard reacting. We cannot allow this. He poses a threat at the moment and if he really killed those mortals,', he looks for reassurance to Heimdall who nods sadly, 'then he needs to be stopped and punishment brought to him. Loki clearly is not in his right mind.', he defends his thinking to the others with the hope one would offer a better explanation.

'It does not sound like him at all.', Thor says.

'No, it does not. Still, we now need to deal with it.', Odin agrees, happy he is not the only one thinking it.

'Let me go and return him here.' Thor stands tall and radiates the authority of former times.

'Thor.', he admonishes.

'He has to be brought to justice. My Loki would never do something like that.' Thor hears himself say. 'If he is truly what you claim, he is lost to me like I thought he already is. You have my word. I will protect Midgard from his madness and make him see reason.'

Odin sighs and eyes him with sympathy. 'I understand your wish, son. But it matters little. There is no way to Midgard for you, the Bifrost repairs are not finished. Furthermore, I do not think you will find Loki in a good shape. He must have drifted when the Bifrost got destroyed, no one knows how long. People go mad out there in the nothingness in the matter of hours, lose their mind, break. There is no way of telling if he will ever be the same again.', he warns the brash blond.

Thor sighs. 'I know, Father. But I have to try.', he explains.

'You are the only one I believe he might listen to. But I cannot send you there. With the powerful magic-wielders of Alfheim and our magic together I might but.. as it is, you're stranded.', he says sadly.

Sleipnir clears his throat, blushing a deep red when the gazes of the other men land on him. He clears it again and steps forward, straightening his back, something Loki probably taught him to do in front of court. 'I am sorry, my king.', he announces in his smooth voice. 'But that is not quite true.'


	28. Chapter 27 Of Ants And Rocket Boots

Of Ants And Rocket Boots

 _I don't want to be in battle but waiting on the edge of what I can't escape is even worse.  
Lord Of The Rings - The Return Of The King_

Tony wakes up in the total darkness that seems constant in this base. Though the quarters are above the ground, the small room of Stephanie has no window, not like Tony's. She hates the darkness and unconsciously holds onto him a little tighter. He understands and knows well enough that he probably does the same while sleeping. Darkness reminds Tony all too much of torture and the insecurity when he thought his life was about to end in the next moment and he'd never see the sunlight again. He shudders and has to hold back as to not ask Jarvis to turn on the lights, not that it would have done much. Steph hadn't yet allowed Tony to install his butler and friend to her room, claiming she doesn't need Tony checking on her every five seconds.

Her grip on his shirt tightens in her sleep and he doesn't move a muscle until her breath hitches. Tony reaches for the lamp on the nightstand and flicks it on, knowing she is finally awake. Steph detests being woken by light, it just makes her nightmares worse and more real.

'Morning.', Tony whispers. His voice is still hoarse from sleep.

Steph clears her throat and slowly slips out of his embrace. 'Morning.' She tries to evade his eyes, afraid of judgment or something like that which is absolutely ridiculous.

'How are you?' He sits up in bed.

'I've been better.', she admits. They stand up together and go to the common kitchen to get a cup of strong black coffee still in their sleeping clothes. This whole arrangement had started about a month after Tony had gotten to the NASA base. He had woken up in the middle of the night, shaken by nighttime horrors. He wanted nothing more than enough caffeine as to fight of the sleep still tugging at his eyelids, as to work through another night on his projects, when he had met Stephanie standing with the expression of nightmares on her face Tony knows well enough from a look in the mirror after waking up and splashing water into his face, staring at nothing really.

'Can't sleep?', he had asked. She jolted and almost spilled the tea from the mug she clutched in her hands.

'Stark.', she stated, panic and rage flickering over her face. They hadn't really talked to each other about anything but work and the research because, well, she thought him an arrogant dick at that time and wasn't really wrong.

'Nightmares, huh?', he turned the coffee machine on and turned back to her. 'Me too.'

They ended up keeping each other company that night, her horrors bad enough to not shy away from the personal contact as per usual. Two weeks later had been the first of many times Steph knocked on his door, first to talk, later to find rest when it became apparent just how frequent neither of them could sleep. Neither of them ever mentions it but both are thankful for the other to be there for them in times like that. And though they comfort each other by physical presence, none of them ever took it further. Normally, Tony would be the first to make a step in that direction, especially since he is not seeing anyone at the moment, but something about her stopped him. Steph is not ugly, actually really pretty, but she has the air of someone whom not even he would be tactless enough to flirt with for real. It feels like with a widow, their banter was never sexual in any kind. She has the air of someone simply being not interested in anyone, like at all. Furthermore, he will be damned if it'd be said he would take advantage of someone in a dire situation like Stephanie.

She hadn't told him what happened, Tony doubts she told anyone the whole truth, not even her friend Jane, but he isn't blind. The haunted look in her eyes, her jumpiness, the way she moves, all are telltale signs of post traumatic stress. She'd once stated she would be broken, maybe beyond repair, just like Tony had felt when he became Iron Man. Even though he doesn't want to believe it to be true he has no way of telling what she has been like before. Afghanistan had changed Tony but it also left him feel broken and he isn't sure either if he ever truly healed. Sure, he became a better man because of that experience but if he ultimately had been able to choose, he would rather be carefree playboy again.

'Morning.', Jane breaks the comfortable silence that had fanned out between them.

'Good morning.' Stephanie looks away from the window, having been caught staring at the sky again. Jane eyes the two of them strangely but doesn't comment about them seldom being seen in the morning in the kitchen without each other. Tony knows what the people say and that there is no malice behind it, he simply has a reputation. It had been sic months since he came here, they are just waiting for a lapse. He is surprised himself he didn't burn down half the lab or had a drunken miscalculation yet like trying to talk someone into his bed.

'Got any tests planned today?', Tony asks his colleague to distract himself.

'Yes, a few. Eric and I want to get better readings on the radiation of the cue, And we want to test that idea of yours.' She chatters away happily, filling the room with science and a sense of normalcy.

Tony whiles away the time between the experiments by tinkering with the containment of the Tesseract, trying to find a way to activate the small blue cube with more ease or to make it safer. He always fears one day one of those wires or fuses would blow out and result in all their deaths. All the equipment still feels rather provisional. He hates working with those thick gloves but it is too dangerous to be this close to the cube without proper protection. The radiation may be low but a constant exposure is still not recommendable. Touching the object also is out of question which infuriates Tony though he sees the validity of that particular rule. It burned a hole through half a meter of solid steel if one could believe the report of America's first super hero. Still, Tony is an inventor, dammit. When he sees something he can't explain, his hands just itch to touch it.

The readings show no new significant break through and Tony's idea proves to be futile. All in all, it is a normal day with the exception of an even more jittery Steph than usual. She doesn't settle all day. Tony doesn't ask though, knows she won't tell him why. Tony is ready to call it a day and go to bed when the alarm starts to blare.

They are sitting all in the cafeteria and enjoy a well deserved dinner after a tiring day of unsuccessfullness. The alarm of Tony's Starkphone startles the scientists.

'What's up, Jay?', he asks immediately. Jarvis monitors everything he has access to and would never sound that particular alarm on his phone if no emergency would require his attention.

'Sir, it is the Tesseract. It is activated.', the artificial voice informs him, sounding worried.

Tony frowns. 'Who did it?' The other people know something is wrong. He mouths 'Tesseract' to Steph when she stares at him confused. Her eyes widen but she keeps the rest of her face in check.

'Nobody, Sir. It appears to have activated itself.' His AI sounds insecure if that is possible.

'Be right there.' He hangs up and jumps from his chair. 'Let's go.' On the way down to the lab they keep the relic in, Tony fills the others in and lets Jarvis call Coulson. This is Agent's facility, so it's his responsibility. But if the cube really activated (and Tony right now really hopes his AI is clever and mean enough for this all just to be a joke), this could be bad, like end-of-the-world bad, and Coulson should decide what to do next, definitely not him. On the way down the laboratory alarm sounds, destroying his hopes, all their pagers are going off. The automated systems are picking up something that needs immediate attention.

Upon reaching the lab his worst fears get confirmed. The cube is fully energized, the reading instruments are picking up all weird kinds of energy, some giving off alarms, others simply transmitting their data. They are the first to arrive and with the exception of some agents are alone in the big vast hall. The little blue bolts of unidentified origin that jolt from the Tesseract are worrisome and the agents agree.

'What the hell?', Tony mutters. Some scientists run to their working stations to check the readings. Others are also frozen in place, unable to comprehend what's happening either.

'It emits nothing harmful.', Eric announces after some moments. 'Well, nothing too harmful.', he mutters for some to hear. Tony lets Jarvis run some checks parallel to make sure they aren't in more danger than usual, that is more danger if he would ignore the possible threat of the Tesseract right in front of him. They try to shut the power down to force the cube to deactivate but to no avail. It simply turns the power on again, acting on its own will rather than doing the scientists' bidding.

'What happened?' Coulson comes running in, for once not wearing that idiotic smile.

'Took you long enough. We can't get the Tesseract to power down.', Eric grumbles, trying forcefully to find a solution.

'Is that bad?' Coulson looks over to the screen, seeing the warnings flashing across it.

'Depends.', Tony chimes in after barely suppressing rolling his eyes. 'Unlimited power we can't control could possibly pose a problem.' His voice drips with sarcasm.

Coulson almost scowls at him.'Who turned it on in the first place? You weren't allowed to work this late.', he scolds them immediately.

'No one turned it on, you think us stupid? Jay can show you the surveillance. It just started reacting to we know not what.' Tony leans back in his chair he had pushed into the big room and crosses his arms. Coulson shakes his head.

Eric sighs. 'Maybe this is nothing and it will turn off in a few minutes. Stark is right, maybe it reacted to something and as soon as we find that we can turn it off. But...'

'The chances of that are practically non-existent.', Tony completes the sentence. 'Because we have actually no idea.'

'You can't tell for sure you will be able to control this.', Agent concludes. Isn't that exactly what he just begrudgingly admitted?

'Nope.' The jolts coming from the cube get a little brighter as if to put emphasis on the word, painting the whole room bright blue.

'It's spiking again. The energy levels get higher.', Jane announces, eyes fixed on the screen.

Coulson takes a ling look at the Tesseract. 'We're evacuating.', he tells the agent closest to him who nods and hurries off. A minute later a voice sounds along with the alarm asking for the immediate evacuation of the facility.

Coulson looks at the scientists. 'You should go as well.' Some look up fearfully, others relieved. In the end about three quarters of them go to the elevator and leave to collect some of the data and secure it, counting on the people who stay being blown up alongside all backup and the base. Tony ignores Agent and them completely, typing away on his phone.

The dark haired agent leans against the desk Tony now occupies. 'You too, Stark.'

Tony snorts. 'So you get all the credit. No, I think I'll stay. I have my suit in case of an emergency. Plus it wouldn't be the first time my lab explodes with me in it.', he jokes, casting a worried look at the people he calls his friends who still try to come up with a solution. 'And it would be a wonder if you'd find whatever caused this or its resolution without me. You'd be lost.' He puts on his best smile, then turns back to the screen.

Selvig had stayed which is no real surprise. He and Ms. Foster live for science. Steph paces in the background, not even pretending to work at something, not that the others would be more productive. Her whole body shakes and her eyes dart restlessly between the Tesseract and nothing in particular. They are empty except for that half-crazy glint Tiny catches each time she stands still before she shakes her head and resumes her pacing. Panic radiates from her.

'Stark, I mean it.', Coulson repeats.

He turns away from the screen and looks him in the eye. 'That thing you dragged here contains a source of unlimited power. There possibly is no minimum safe distance. If it blows up, the Earth will probably be torn apart and scattered in the vast expanse of the universe. Do you truly believe it makes a difference if I am here where I might be of use or five miles north west of here? I stay. Then I at least can say I did what I could, not that anyone would hear that then. Admitted, that is the worst case scenario. In the best case, with my calculations and the data we collected, it could still blow up the state. My suit is fast but probably not fast enough. I wasn't banking on a quick escape that included my super sonic devises. Any more questions?', he asks, sitting down in his chair again.

Phil nods and leaves them alone to their work to oversee the evacuation. Tony sighs and walks over to the nervous pacing brunette. He had gone through all data they had three times already and not found anything, a fourth time wouldn't change much if not he but Jarvis would do it.

'Everything okay? I am sure this is nothing.', he lies with a smile. 'Hey.' Tony takes her hand when she doesn't seem to notice him. Finally Stephanie looks at him. Fear shimmers in her eyes, dread and apprehension are in their depths. She looks like a woman possessed. Or hunted.

'I'm fine.', Steph mutters. Her expression belies her words. A loud crackle comes from the cube, she ducks automatic and starts to shake like a leaf even after she straightens again to gloss over the reaction.

Tony forces her to look at him again. 'It's okay.', he says quietly. 'You can go. I- I understand that. We all do.' He pats her shoulder to calm her but Stephanie merely shakes her head, then steps back.

'No, I stay.' Determination takes over.

'No one would judge.', Tony says again.

A small smile flickers over her face before it is gone again. 'I would.'

A few hours pass in a haze and the Tesseract is not going back to sleep. The jolts of energy it sends out become more prominent and frequent. It spikes more often and stronger as well. Even Barton comes down from his hide-out because this doesn't seem to calm down, probably also to gather information for his master. No matter what they try, it all fails.

With the next jolt the lights in the room start to flicker. Tony casts a worried look to Stephanie, noting grudgingly that Barton eyes her strangely. Her eyes are fixed on the cube, the shaking stopped. She doesn't blink for some time, mesmerized by the blue light. Jane approaches her and though she jerks, her eyes stare blankly ahead as they speak. Tony walks over when Jane asks: 'What is it?', worry evident in her voice.

'He is coming.', she all but whispers. It sounds like a threat, a vision of a mindless meditation. A warning from the future one does not understand till it is too late. It sends a chill down his spine.

Jane's brow creases. 'Who?', Tony asks feeling left out, looking at both of them in turn. Steph shakes her head as if it would be pain to speak of it or too complicated a question to answer, Tony isn't sure.

'You should go.', Jane tells her, all matter of fact.

Steph shakes her head and finally, finally, looks away from the eery blue light. 'No, I won't. I cannot run from this.'

Jane groans. 'What if he sees you? Recognizes you?' She is genuinely worried, just why?

'Then let it be. It is too late already.' She closes her eyes briefly and straightens her back.

Tony is still confused. 'For what?', he inquires. 'Who is coming?'

'Can't you feel it? It is humming with energy being summoned, being commanded. He's coming with death in his wake.', she whispers, her eyes fixed on the cube once more as the energy readings spike again. The cracking and the little lightning bolts are there again, louder and brighter than before. Steph takes a deep breath. Jane nods and motions Tony to leave her alone. Now she looks concentrated and almost angry at the cube as though they fight a mental battle and she is losing. Tony goes back to his desk.

Fury walks in some minutes later, demanding to be filled in. Selvig fortunately does so and spares Tony to do it. Barton talks to the one-eyed man. Tony makes a mental note to ask Jarvis later what they said. He doesn't trust Fury as far as he can throw him without his suit. He is hiding something. Hiring Tony has just been a pretense as to not make him suspicious, when he had heard about the New Mexico situation Tony started to get too interested in what Fury considered his stuff. He is too much like Howard as that Tony could trust him, so that plan of Fury definitely not goes as planned because Tony knows when someone just wants to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't find anything interesting. He knows that he is just here working on the Tesseract project so he wouldn't investigate on his own. Fury gives him just enough information so he wouldn't get to curious, again something that isn't working with Tony. At least Fury hastens the evacuation and gets the people to relative safety.

Tony's scowl slips when the whole building shakes as the next spike hits them. Energy cracks around the Tesseract and doesn't stop anymore, releasing a constant stream to the far end of the hall. The blue light blinds him but Tony refuses to look away. Something he can only describe as a fucking portal opens at the end of the energy stream and emits something dark. When the lights dim he detects a man with black hair crouching where seconds ago the cube had discharged all its energy to. A blue mist slowly rises and the unused residual energy clusters to form another portal at the ceiling. Is that an alien?, he wonders.

Tony's eyes don't leave the stranger when he rises and tries to orientate himself in the room. The golden scepter with the glowing blue tip catches his eye. He holds it like a weapon of great power. Everyone in the room is frozen, just staring at the person who appeared out of nowhere. All the theories about it being a gateway are true and somehow that stranger had opened it from the other side. Is there another cube, another key, on the other side? Are they connected? But the question that really buzzes through Tony's mind is: Is he hostile? Is this the begin of an alien attack like he always feared or is he friendly and just wants to chat? He somehow has the feeling that stranger is more likely from the first kind of alien, the one that will take over their planet without wasting another thought about it.

Fury is the first one to react. 'Sir, put down the spear.', he says calmly.

The second he speaks, the dark man looks up, seeing surprised to find them all here. Tony slowly raises his phone to not draw attention to himself and dials the number.

'Jay. Send the Mark V down here.', he whispers quickly, trying to keep all of them in his line of vision.

'It is already on its way, Sir.', the British voice answers in a hear beat. 'The Mark V will arrive in 28 seconds.' Tony silently thanks Jarvis and congratulates himself for programming him so perfectly that he does things before Tony can ask for them.

He slowly lowers his hand with the phone again when the stranger makes his move. A mad grin spreads over his face as he eyes the agents surrounding him, then his weapon. Suddenly a jolt of energy shoots out of it at his bidding and hits one of the men square in the chest. The way he lands lets Tony know there won't be need to help him anymore. Anger and fury bubble up in Tony but he looks back at Jane and Steph who cower behind a desk like most of the other scientists. It looks like Jane dragged her down and keeps her in place. Tony crouched down to not get hit by a stray shot while awaiting Jarvis to fulfill his promise. He takes a deep breath when he hears the fighting continue behind him and he he hastens over to the girls.

The unmistakable sound of a throat being slit reaches their ears. Tony counts down the seconds in his head until his suit would arrive. The time seems endless before he finally makes out the sound of repulsor blasts. Steph is catatonic and shaking in shock. Jane tries to hide her own fear to calm everyone. None of them had probably ever been in a real fight. The suit finally lands next to Tony and he immediately stands up to slip into it.

Jarvis immediately floods him with information. Several agents are down and the stranger still fires at everything that moves, including Tony. He has to decide immediately what to do. The agents are trained for this, so he activates the repulsors, grabs the nearest scientists who didn't find cover and drags them out of the big hall, shielding them from the blasts. When he wants to help the agents, Barton waves him away and motions to the others. Tony nods. Evacuate the civilians, they will give him time to do so. A blast almost hits him and warnings flash over the screen. He turns back to the scientists, now paying more attention to avoiding a direct hit. It nearly fried the wires of his suit like this.

Jane shakes her head and points at the others when Tony wants to grab her and Stephanie. The next time he returns after telling the two men to flee from the facility, Jane motions him to Eric who steps close to the dark haired stranger after checking one of the agents who went down. The man aims his scepter at Eric. Just now Tony notices the absence of fighting noise, the only sound reaching his ears now is his own heart beating furiously.

Barton stands next to the stranger, his eyes are bright blue. Why does the Hawk not do anything? Why does he let the scientist get so close?, Tony wonders irritated. Usually he is the one to shoot first, then ask questions, definitively no one to take risks.

Fury crouches on the floor, trying to gather the Tesseract in a secure crate. The pale man tuts. 'I still need that.', he says calmly to Fury.

'This doesn't has to get any messier.', the director of SHIELD asks.

'Of course it does. I am Loki of Asgard and I come with glad tidings.', the stranger announces with a pleased smirk. Bastard.

Fury looks at his people on the floor. 'We have no quarrel with your people.', he states.

'An ant has no quarrel with a boot.' Tony thinks he might get sick of that self righteous prick. He raises his repulsor ray to shoot that maniac-whatever when Loki turns around to him and sees the red and silver fighter. Tony barely manages to evade being shot by his blast and ducks behind the table together with the girls.

'I have come to bring peace to your world and to free you.' Loki's smooth voice carries through the hall as he turns to Eric. The scientists radiates insecurity but refuses to step away from the person he thought he knew. Tony curses but another blast makes it impossible for him to reach out to the scientist. 'Without the illusion of freedom you will know peace in your heart.' Loki reaches out with his scepter and touches Eric's chest. Tony can't see what it does but Eric's whole demeanor changes and he seems calm and not hostile towards the stranger anymore.

That Loki-guy ignores Tony again as he raves about his great plans and schemes so Iron Man grabs the women and dashes for the door to get them out of the danger. Fortunately the maniac lets them flee, not caring for two women and something non-human. They leave the big lab behind them. As soon as they are in the service tunnel Tony lets them down and turns around to fight that freaky alien now that his friends are in relative safety.

'No, don't go back.' Steph seems to have come out of her trance.

'Eric is still in there.', Tony states. He won't leave anyone behind. Not again.

'You can't help him. He won't come with you. Trust me, Tony, we need to go now.' She has taken a hold on his arm.

'She's right.', Jane chimes in. 'The portal is collapsing. We will be buried under a hundred feet of rock. Eric knows that as well.'

Tony shakes his head. 'I have to fight him.'

'You have no idea what he is capable of, Tony. He is too powerful. You'd stand no chance. Especially now that he has the Tesseract. Please, Tony. Don't waste your life. If you go, it will just mean your death. No one can fight him like this. Enough people have died today. Please.', Stephanie asks of him.

Tony looks back. '60 seconds, Sir.', Jarvis fills him in without him asking for it.

'Okay.' Tony turns back to the girls. 'Let's get you out of here. Hold on tight.' The others surely would be on their way out as well if Eric told that lunatic about the portal. With any luck Loki wouldn't make it out of here. He grabs hold of them by slinging an arm around their waists. 'Got it?'

They nod and he lifts off, flying to the tunnels leading outside. Jarvis shows him the shortest route outside of the complex. The cars that drive under them take a different way because several cars are destroyed and block the shortest way. Loki must have gotten out of the lab the same way they did and taken a car to escape. It pains Tony but he can't carry more people in this narrow tunnels so he has got to leave the people in the cars behind.

'15 seconds, Sir.', Jarvis reminds him and he directs all the energy to his boots. Tony can hear the detonation before the blast wave hits them but the exit is still too far away. He swerves dangerously close to the walls of the tunnel but manages to catch himself in time with help of Jarvis.

'Damn.', Tony curses. 'Jarvis, get it out of here!'

He doesn't hear the answer as the walls come crashing down at them. Tony lands and tries to shield the girls with his suit when the ceiling comes down and buries them underneath.

xXxXx

'I am sorry, my king. But that is not quite true.'

Thor frowns and looks at his onetime nephew with doubt in his heart. 'What do you mean by that?', Odin asks with his dark voice. There are no other ways to Midgard without extensive use of magic which none of them is capable of casting. Sleipnir hadn't made much progress.

'Before the Bifrost exited, people also traveled between realms.', Sleipnir says. 'From Asgard there are secret pathways to all the other realms which probably haven't been used in millennia.'

'How did you find them?', Odin inquires with a frown.

Sleipnir blushes a little. 'Loki found them. I read about them in his notes some time ago.'

Thor looks at him directly. 'Why didn't you say anything earlier?', he accuses.

'Because he wrote next to the places that they are not secure.', he explains. 'And it wasn't necessary to rely on a useless risk.', he says looking down. 'But now that Loki really is alive, maybe..' The young man shuffles his feet.

'I am willing to take the risk.' Thor nods and wants to go immediately.

'It is too dangerous, son.' Odin sighs.

'All-Father. If my son truly threatens Midgard and succeeds in taking it, he won't stop there. He is a threat to all the nine realms. Can there truly be something 'too dangerous'?', Laufey asks him, crossing his arms. He is no happier about this situation than anyone else.

'There isn't, Father, and you know that. We have to take the chance.', Thor agrees. Odin takes a deep breath before nodding.

'Where is the pathway? And of what type is it?'

'It is a fixed way to Midgard. I remember the notes mentioning it. Where it is exactly I will have to research again. But I know it is close to the city.', Sleipnir fills him in.

'When can I go?', Thor asks. He doesn't care about the risk. If Loki is out there, he will find him and bring him home. He will make him see sense and everything will be fine again.

'Thor, we first need more information.', Odin insists.

The blond sighs. 'I give you till the end of the week. Then I will go, no matter what. Every minute we lose, Loki roams freely on Midgard and is one step closer to wage war on us all. He needs to be stopped as soon as possible.'

The next days pass in a haze. Odin explains the ancient workings of the Tesseract to him and Heimdall loses sight of Loki again and again, though he is still unable to get more information than what he already found out. Apparently no more people have died until now.

The week is not even over when Thor is ready to go. The cave Thor and Sleipnir stand in is dark and moist, the rushing of the water fall comes from behind them. They had to make their way to this cave hidden behind it, it was difficult and if it hadn't been for Thor's loyal Mjolnir they wouldn't have made the climb. How Sleipnir will make his way back without jumping down, Thor doesn't know.

He takes a deep breath and they continue to walk through the tortuous tunnels, Sleipnir leads the way with confidence.

'I will bring him back.', Thor says. 'You have my word.'

'Allow me to come with you.' The sandy haired man turns around and makes doe eyes, so much like Loki would when he sought to convince Thor. The slight glow of the fire mirrors in his eyes.

Thor shakes his head. 'Loki would never forgive me for endangering your life. You won't come.', he says.

He sighs but continues his way. 'You got to be careful when you get to Midgard. There- Loki never used that way. It could be painful, deathly even to use this way.', Sleipnir reminds him.

'I know.'

'There is no way of telling where you will exit it. He is in a country called the United States. But you could end up on the other side of the globe. In the best case you will land somewhere on the surface or in a cave similar to this one. Maybe there is a counterpart on the other side. Maybe you'll be in the air, however, you have Mjolnir. It shouldn't pose a problem. But you could also land somewhere for the worse.', he warns Thor. 'On the bottom of the ocean, underneath the earth.' He sighs. 'I am sorry I don't know that and have no better prospect for you.', he concludes his warnings.

The rocks around them start to hum quietly, even Thor feels the magic hidden here.

'Just bring me to Midgard.', he says.

'Thor, he might be lost, but-', Sleipnir begs.

'I know. But first I have to think of all the realms.' Thor embraces Loki's son and tries to convey security and calamity. Sleipnir draws a shuddering breath.

'You have to go on this path. It will lead you straight to him.'

Thor nods and turns around, cape billowing as he strides down the tunnel, leaving all he knows behind, and walks towards an uncertain future.

xXxXxXx

 **Just some quick notes:**

 **The Mark V is from Iron Man 2 and is juts an emergency suit, practically just able to fly and protect its wearer. It can be stored in a suitcase. It's not as the other suits red and gold but red and silver. Actually Jarvis originally couldn't control it but, well, Tony tinkers all the time so why not? ;)**

 **Second thing, some sentences are in this form or probably a little different from the Avengers movie. I just quoted them as I remembered them, so if anything's wrong with the dialogue or the plot that's on me.**

 **Last but certainly not least:**  
 **Dear guest, thank you for that wonderful review. I am so happy you like this. Thank you so much, and also thanks to everyone who favorited, follows or simply just reads this. :***


	29. Chapter 28 Storytime

Storytime

 _Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.  
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray  
_

The metal mask keeps the dust away from Tony but the two women cough violently. Warnings flash across his screen and Jarvis gives him a quick damage report. There is some serious damage on the arms where the boulder that almost would have squashed them still rests as well as on the extra power sources and weapon systems on his shoulders and back. If it wouldn't have been for Jarvis locking his armor in place and directing the energy to the arms and back so Tony would not have to carry the weight, nothing would have kept them from being buried underneath the rock. The power levels are dropping too quick for Tony's liking. At least Jay just shows him and doesn't tell him every five seconds.

'Are you okay?', he asks, letting Jarvis flip his faceplate up.

'Y-yes.', Jane stutters, clearly shaken. She coughs again but slowly the dust sinks and doesn't block their airways anymore. Tony clears his throat as sand trickles down from the provisional ceiling. 'Thank you.'

'Don't mention it.', he brushes off. Tony takes a closer look at Stephanie cowering next to Jane under him. She seems not as frightened as before and not nearly enough for this whole situation. Her hands are outstretched to the sides as if shielding them but she looks like fainting. It isn't fear on her face though. Tony can't place it correctly and makes a note to find out later.

'So, Jay.. How fucked are we?', he asks nonchalantly despite the ceiling threatening to finish what the lunatic down in the lab started.

'The ceiling appears to be stuck between the other structures. You can let it go, Sir.', Jarvis informs him after running a quick scan. With a sigh Tony takes down his arms and is surprised not to die a quick violent death. It just comes down some millimeters, then really stops as it slides into place. His power sources wouldn't have kept this up much longer anyway. The flight had drained them greatly before.

'Much better.' He crouches down next to the girls and rolls his shoulder the best he can. 'Any idea how we are going to get out of here?', he asks without much hope. The suit doesn't has much power left and their surroundings don't exactly increase his mood.

Jay interrupts his brooding thoughts. 'You almost managed to fly all the way out, Sir.' Almost is not good enough. The way they are surrounded by the heavy boulders, it doesn't matter if it are 5 meters or five light years.

'Everything will cave in if I blast our way out.' Tony shakes his head annoyed. The rocks are too jammed to be moved without the force of his repulsors. A silent voice makes him look up.

'No, it won't.' He narrows his eyes at Stephanie. She sits a little back as the stones forming their little bubble hadn't fallen close to them at her side. 'How far, Jay?'

'Fifteen meters to your right, Miss. There the satellite pictures indicate that the ceiling caved in completely and you can leave the complex there.', Jarvis tells her immediately.

'We will never make that.' Tony shakes his head. That's too far, he won't risk their lives for such a desperate attempt at freedom. 'Jay, can you get into contact with anyone?'

'They are not responding yet, Sir. A lot of agents have been still underground when the buildings collapsed. Furthermore, they don't have the equipment here to diffode anything.', Jay destroys all his hopes.

'The stones on this side don't hold the block over us. Nothing will happen.' Steph's eyes are hard though she is pale and seems drained. 'It could take days for them to free us securely.', she says when he doesn't agree.

Tony sighs and flips the faceplate down. He knows they will probably dehydrate or suffocate here before they are found or buried if SHIELD would make one wrong movement in digging them up and the energy levels of his suit won't get any better. 'It won't hold.', he says.

Jane casts a worried glance to both of them. 'It will.', she sounds sure.

Tony is tempted to close his eyes when his repulsors boot up and he takes aim with Jarvis' help. 'Here it goes.' The first few blocks blow up into pieces without problems but the further they get, the more worrisome the sounds get but they don't get buried beneath the stone even though his internal processor warns him occasionally of an impending impact, the falling boulders get stuck every time. With each blast Tony is sure it will be the last time he sees his friends alive.

Finally the cool air of the night engulfs them and Tony quickly widens the hole and pulls them all out of it and flies to safety. As soon as he is above the surface his com starts to beep furiously. Landing on the desert ground, he flips his plate up again and gulps down the clean air before asking Jarvis to take the call.

'Stark? Stark?', Fury bellows on the other side.

''M there. Foster and Thatch are with me.', he informs him, ignoring the little smile on his face. At least they aren't the only survivors.

'Good.' Even Fury sounds relieved. 'Many agents are still buried. We fear the worst actually.', he confides in Tony.

A moment of silence follows, for Tony just broken by the thrusters of his boots as Jay assesses the damage further. 'Fury? What the hell was that?', he asks.

'That, Mr. Stark, was a declaration of war.' He sounds resigned. Fury sighs. 'Let us not discuss this over the com. Meet us outside of the north entrance. I'll organize transportation.', he offers.

Tony hangs up and turns around to pick up the girls and fly there.

Five hours and a plane ride later they reach a secret base of SHIELD at the edge of this accursed desert. Steph fell asleep as soon as she sat down in the everything but comfortable plane seats. Despair had shone in her eyes as she stared out into the night sky when walking into the base while Fury filled them in what else had happened in the lab during their absence. Loki, as the lunatic called himself, had single-handedly declared war upon Tony's favorite planet and has now the Tesseract and a handful of agents to back up his claim.

The base is small, holding barely a dozen agents usually but now it is crammed. Every load of agents from the NASA base they just came from had come here first. Tony could have used a good nap too, like Jane and Steph but they still look more than tired when they scramble into the conference room alongside Coulson and Fury.

Tony slumps down into the chair with a cup of the strongest coffee he could find on the way. He always thought sleep is for the weak. He had known he would have been good for nothing with two hours of restless sleep, instead he opted for an all-nighter as he had done many times. Usually he had more to do when staying up that late or had at least company, but his thoughts keep him up as well. Tony tries to process all that had happened this night and it still doesn't make much sense.

'Soo.', Tony drawls. 'Who was our friend there?'

'Loki.' Surprisingly Jane answers instead of Fury. 'He visited Earth once before.' So that pale lunatic really is an alien and not just a human who freaked out. That doesn't make this situation any better.

'You know him?', Tony half asks, half states.

'I-', she pauses. 'I knew the man. But not that person who stepped out of the portal.', she says, sounding sad. 'Something happened to him.' Tony wonders how well she knew him to begin with after, what, a week? Loki is a freaky alien, who knows how they are?

'What else do you know?' He doesn't doubt that there is a lot more to know than what he read in the files. They were pretty curt and vague.

'He is an alien from a world called Asgard. Yes, Stark, the magical Asgard of myth.', Fury says when Tony opens his mouth to ask. 'Apparently the mythology isn't completely wrong. These people are basically gods.'

'That's ridiculous.' Tony crosses his arms and huffs. Gods. What's the next thing? That lunatic taking over Earth riding on a dragon?

'You don't know all there is in the universe and you read the files about New Mexico.', Steph interrupts. 'Asgardians are extremely hard to kill, for mortals practically impossible, and they live far longer than humans. No, Tony, they probably won't listen to your prayers but they are surely advanced in about every way there is. You could call them gods, if you believe in that kind of thing. Otherwise, well, they are from another planet and you in your armor would have a hard time putting a scratch on them.' She stares straight ahead. 'We need to react now. Before he summons his minions and possibly even his masters. The Avengers are the only ones who may stop him.' Steph turns to Fury.

Fury sighs. 'The World Security Counsel will not approve.'

Coulson turns pale. 'You can't think about summoning a bunch of reliabilities!', he exclaims, furrowing his brow.

'Director, you don't know him.' Stephanie counters. 'He will rip this planet apart, he now has the power to do that. We have no choice. The worst possible has already happened. They could maybe stop him.' She looks at Tony. 'At least they have a chance.'

'I thought the Avenger Initiative was stopped?' Tony frowns. 'I am actually quite sure of it. Plus, I wasn't fit to join if I remember correctly.' He pointedly looks at Fury.

'Your planet is threatened.' She points out.

'I know but-'

Steph shakes her head. 'He knows how to use the Tesseract and he will use it to bring his army to his side. He needs to be stopped before that happens or the Earth is lost.'

'Wait, wait, wait a second.' Tony raises his hands to stop them all. 'Are we talking about an army of those nearly indestructible aliens coming to here to take over?'

She shakes her head. 'No, I do not believe there are more of his kind to come. And if, then they don't fight for him. But what is coming isn't that much better.' She sighs.

Tony's brow furrows but Fury nods. 'We have no choice. Set everything into motion, Coulson.' The two leave the room to talk to some crappy old guys to gain permission to save the world. The girls leave soon after to get some sleep and food. The sun rises and Tony still sits there, eyes trained on the seat where the brunette had sat before. How could she know? Why was she even here? There are a lot of qualified people for her position, people with more experience even. Still she is here. And moreover, Fury seems to listen to her. He does not even question her questionable information. It is not clear for Tony where she could have gotten those from. Steph hadn't been involved in the New Mexico situation to meet that Loki guy, at least not officially. So where is the connection?

Still brooding he does back to the Quinjet for his suit to check out the damage done. He gets a small workshop in the basement to fix his suit at least enough for it to work until he gets back to his own lab. The Mark V is just an emergency suit and not meant for combat or for being almost buried alive. And with this maniac running around, the next emergency probably will be sooner there than Tony would want it. He regrets not taking the Mark VI with him, at least with the additional weapon systems he could have caused some more damage to the lunatic.

Jarvis had saved all the files of his computer in the NASA facility on his private server, including the surveillance of the laboratory. Tony watches the feed while making a list of materials he will need to fix the suit. Soon the notepad is forgotten though and he stares at the screen. Tony is impressed, just a tiny little bit. Loki is crazy like hell but it takes something to pull off a stunt like that. He is an experienced fighter, Tony can tell, and a ruthless one too. When that strange stick touches the little Hawk he asks Jay to stop video and go picture by picture. He is about to shoot the dark haired man when the latter raises his stick and touches the blond's chest just above the heart. First Barton's eyes turn completely black, then they take on a ghostly outerworldly blue. As soon as that happened all tension leaves his body and he no longer seems hostile towards the intruder.

'It seems to be some form of mind control, Sir.', Jarvis provides.

Tony strokes his beard, lost in thoughts. 'Do we know how he does that?'

'Sorry, Sir. The scepter is the source, that much is clear. This also happened to six other agents and Dr. Selvig. The scepter is unknown but appears to have some sort of connection to the Tesseract though.', his AI muses.

'Shit.'

Tony watches the rest including the collapse of the portal just shortly after he was almost shot by that maniac and got out with the girls. 'He needs Selvig to stabilize the portal.', he mutters. The agents protected Loki on his way out with the cube. According to Fury he managed to leave the complex before the collapse and is now somewhere on this planet. They have next to no chance to locate them now that they've fled. The radiation that leaks from the Tesseract when it's not activated, is too little to trace properly. The feed ends with static and Tony leans back in his chair.

He meets the girls some hours later when getting more coffee and new materials and asks them to accompany him to his temporary lab. Coulson had organized the materials for a repair of his suit so Tony would be able to leave the desert behind him for good without fear of an incident on his way to New York. The girls still look tired but are at least up again.

'How could you know?', he asks without preamble when he picks up his tools again to fix the power source on the upper back of the suit.

'Excuse me?', Jane asks frowning after taking a look around.

'You weren't there.' He looks straight at the other brunette. 'I read the files and you weren't in New Mexico when that maniac showed up there. I know that. Fury knows that. Still you seem to know more about this than any other. How? How can you know him when you never met? Why does Fury trust you with this? There is nothing you have to do with SHIELD. Still you are here. I'd like to know why I should believe you about this.' He voices his concerns because he is no one to beat around the bush. Tony doesn't want to distrust his friends but he can't help it. He has to know.

Apparently Jane doesn't see it that way. 'That is none of your business, you arrogant-' She glares at him.

'Jane!', Steph interrupts her tirade. 'You want to know my story?', she asks Tony.

He nods and directs his attention back to his work to give her some space. 'Yes, that'd be awesome.'

Silence settles heavy. 'You're right. I wasn't in New Mexico. But neither was Fury.', she starts to argue. 'He still knows that man destroyed a whole base within minutes. But you are right. If anyone it should be Coulson or Jane warning him, not me. They met him and saw the destruction first hand.' She swallows hard. 'In my own understanding of time, two years ago I was.. taken from Earth. At least I guess it were two years.' She sighs and leans on the table. She still looks drained.

Tony looks up and frowns. 'Taken? How?', he inquires immediately. Strange pictures of UFOs abducting people in old movies show up in his head.

Stephanie looks downcast and shrugs. 'I don't know. One moment I was here, the next I am hurling through space.'

'Why?', he asks, tools already lying forgotten on the table.

'Because their leader needed information. About the Earth, its population, its defenses, everything of use for the time they would attack.' She looks down and her eyes are glazed over. 'They offered me a position in their ranks for my knowledge. I refused. I could not sell out a whole planet just like that.' Stephanie shakes her head. 'They already knew the Tesseract is here. I guessed that much but knew nothing for sure. And even if,', she is quick to add, 'I wouldn't have told them. They plan to use it to conquer more worlds and wreak havoc in the whole universe.'

'Why you? Of all the people in the world?'

'I cannot tell you.', she simply answers.

Tony raises one eyebrow. 'You know.', he accuses.

'I do. Well, I can make an educated guess. I am not stupid, I like to pride myself with that. Still, I cannot tell you and I can't explain.' She looks directly at him while saying that, gaining more confidence the longer she talks.

Tony nods. She doesn't want to talk about it, he gets that.

'They didn't take too kindly to me saying no, weak and broken as I was. They have ways to make you speak. There was little that kept me sane. I knew I could not give in, couldn't allow myself to do that. I had to come back here, had to at least warn someone about their impending attack. I kept everyone I ever loved in my heart and tried to hold on to that and keep fighting. Physical pain I can deal with.' She shudders from the memory. 'But they have other ways. They let me relive my worst memories, confronted me with the most horrible truths of my life. Do not forget, I was hurled through space, a timeless unbearable experience, enough to break a spirit on a one way travel. But a simple truth let me keep on defying them. There is something worth suffering through this. The scepter you saw him holding,', she nods towards the screen where still the picture of Barton with the creepy blue eyes is frozen, 'it contains a power that can crash down your mental barriers and make you a submissive puppet in their hands. They used it to access memories and break me, gather information. There are ways, all of them extremely painful, to lock memories away so even that the scepter can't access them in your mind. I filed everything away that kept me alive and sane, including anything valuable about this world and my heart. They knew what I did but the information were lost to them nonetheless. That didn't keep their rage at bay though. I had no reason anymore to cooperate and they had no reason to be nice.', her voice is barely more than a whisper.

'How? How can you separate a part of you like that?', Tony asks intrigued.

'You can when you have to.' Steph evades the question. 'They would have taken everything from me, my good memories, myself. I wouldn't have been me. That's what it did to the others, the agents and Eric. They now listen to the wishes of the one wielding the scepter but that is just a small part of its powers. It offers complete control of the mind when wielded by an experienced hand, extractions of memories, erasing or replacing them, or what he does, taking it over and making it a slave.'

She draws a shuddering breath. 'So I held on, hoping they would finally grow tired of torture and just kill me.' A shiver runs down Tony's spine from her tone alone. 'That's when he came. He called himself Loki and he was worse than anything they could have done to me. He is cold and calculating and completely crazy. He doesn't care about anyone. He has nothing to lose. He is a threat to the planet. He arrived months, maybe years after they caught me. Their final parting present.' She shivers violently, her eyes are unfocused, just seeing that other place from her memory. She shakes her head and looks directly at Tony. 'I do hope for you that you will never meet him again. He is a wicked and twisted creature. He knows no compassion nor mercy and there is nothing good in him. He will kill you the first chance he gets, he saw your performance and Barton will have told him who you are and what you are capable of.'

Steph sighs as if making a big decision. 'If you meet him, you mustn't hesitate to kill him.' His mouth drops open because this is the last he expected. Jane seems to feel the same. 'He won't hand you the Tesseract back, not free willingly. You must kill him, Tony, there is no other chance to save your planet. Do not allow him to speak or act. Do not allow him to summon them.', she begs quietly. He hears the panic and pleading in her voice. He doesn't want to know what they did to her to make her sound like that.

'I can't just kill him!', he exclaims nonetheless. 'Why don't you say anything about this madness?', he motions to Jane to gain some moments.

Jane looks away. 'It is not my call to make.'

'But hers?' Tony thinks he freaks out. Or everyone else does. Sure, what Steph had said sounds totally fucked up and wrong on so many levels but to just kill a man?

'You have seen what he did to the agents. They died and he laughed.', Steph sneers. Bitterness taints her voice.

Tony shakes his head to clear it. 'We need to regain the Tesseract.', he repeats stubbornly. 'Without it-'

'He is even more dangerous.', she interrupts him. 'Heed my advice, Tony. Don't take him into custody.'

He takes a deep breath. 'That is revenge talking.' He knows a thing or two about revenge.

One corner of her mouth quirks up. 'Trust me when I tell you that I would like to keep him alive and unharmed far more than you. But that might not be possible. He won't give up the Tesseract and I can't risk them coming.' She shakes her head.

When no one attempts to take up the conversation again, Tony tries to lead this away from killing people who may or may not deserve that. 'You always say 'they'. Who, or what, are they?', Tony asks reluctantly.

'They are the delegates of the Mad Titan and his second, the Other.' Disgust is evident in her voice. 'They have enslaved innumerable planets and taken uncountable lives. They are the scum of the universe and this cube will provide them with enough power to call it their own. Their troops are called the Chitauri. You don't want to know them. They are twisted and foul.' She shakes her head. 'Be happy if you never encounter them.'

'That is how Loki wants to take over the planet.', Tony muses.

'Yes, they will win the Earth for him. He will hand them the Tesseract for it.', she confirms.

Tony nods to himself. 'That is what you told Fury.' Stephanie nods. 'How do you know about the Tesseract? You knew Loki was coming.', he clarifies. Tony chooses to ignore her flinch at the mentioning of the name.

She sighs, leaning against the desk behind her. 'I couldn't stop it if that is what you are insinuating.' She contemplates her answer. 'It sings. It changed when he called the energy to him. There was energy you could never read properly with your instruments.' She waits for Tony to nod. 'It contains unlimited power, yes, but not to be tapped as you tried to or as SHIELD wanted to. The energy isn't meant to be used separated from the cube and that which it contains.'

'Hydra used it to make weapons.'

She laughs mirthless. 'And see where that's gotten us.' Tony frowns but chooses to let it pass. 'You stared at it for hours, you felt it working though you couldn't figure out the real reason nor how to access that. I felt the energy surging through it and the danger it emits. They can trace it, the Mad Titan spend years looking for it. You can't.'

'It's not magic.', Tony denounces immediately.

'No, it is more. They as well as he know its workings. No one ever wanted it just for clean energy.'

Suddenly something else comes to his mind, something not quite pleasant. He grows more suspicious the more she confides in him. 'They knew you know this. Why did they let you go? Hmm? Ever thought about that?', he asks her. 'You are a threat as well. And Fury knows that. How did you leave?'

Steph takes some time to answer. 'I left. Let us not indulge in that. I left, I fled, that is all you have to know, that is all Fury and Jane know. It wasn't nice, not comfortable or peaceful. But I managed. They don't know I am here. They lost track of me, think me dead by now. They thought I'd never survive the journey. Or that I would go crazy by it at least. No threat, so no reason to look too closely. Furthermore, they know I wouldn't be stupid enough as to come here where I know they'd come.'

Tony now understands why Jane wanted her gone from the lab when Steph mumbled something about him coming, and also why she kept the other brunette out of Loki's sight. She apparently guesses his thoughts. 'He didn't see me, and even if, I changed a lot. I won't cower again, Tony.' She takes a deep breath. 'I warned Fury to use the cube. It would do no good, no good ever came from it in all of history. It would draw them to us. Fury believed if it is shielded it wouldn't happen and its uses would be greater than the risks. He now realized I was right. That's why he believed me, that's why he knows the Avengers must assemble. The world needs more than Iron Man to stand against them, to stop them.'

'That sounds absolutely bad shit crazy.' He sighs and his eyes fall to the unfinished repair waiting for him. 'I am sorry for what you went through.'

'You understand I am not overly fond of talking about it.' He nods. 'I want to forget and after we banished the threat, I can. One way or another. They are monsters. He especially.' He knows without mentioning she speaks about the raging lunatic. 'There is not much more of interest I can tell you that would help you.'

'The director knows this all? Are you sure?'

'He might say we should continue as if the world keeps on spinning but soon enough that might be all we can do. Pretend there is a tomorrow.'

xXxXx

The path beneath his feet is uneven and tricky but solid enough to tread. Thor inches forward and soon leaves the last of the soft shine of the fire behind him. Eternal darkness envelops him, darkness he cannot see through and doesn't want to. Who knows what creatures lurk beyond the worlds? The change is gradually but eventually Thor feels it. The air grows heavier, the shadows crowd outside of him. The way is clear in his head, he just has to set one foot after the other. If he leaves the path he cannot see but just feel, Thor knows he will not find it again and be lost in the nothingness.

He wonders at how heavy the emptiness presses on his lungs though he knows he won't suffocate. Thor has to resist the urge to grab Mjolnir when the shadows seem to move around him. He isn't even sure his loyal hammer would return should he hurl her towards the unknown attackers. How long has he walked? Does time matter in a place where it does not exist? It certainly could have been hours or mere seconds. Thor couldn't tell anymore.

His environment is non-existent and still overwhelming. Thor thinks he hears hisses and the pawing of claws in the dark. He anticipates an attack any second now while edging forward. The way becomes more and more blurry the more he indulges in his fear, something he had seldom felt before. He closes his eyes but nothing changes so he isn't sure if he is still in his body. He thinks of Loki and Midgard to guide his way and calm his heart beat. Is this how it feels to travel without the Bifrost? He could get lost so easily and he only has to follow a path that already exists. How easy must one lose the way when traveling on his own? Is this what Loki endured each time he teleported? Usually the feeling of something too tight around the body vanishes within seconds but this stretches out forever with no end in sight. Then again, Thor had never traveled with Loki outside of Asgard.

Thor grows tired but he dares not to take a break and stop to walk. He would give anything for a light to guide him, for a single star to light the darkness.

Mists start to crawl over the floor, a richer black then the other surroundings. They threaten to draw his very soul into them and choke it. He feels it lick on his calves, burning him with hot tongues. He cannot tell if it is real or of his mind starts playing tricks. His soul seems to tear apart in this place between the worlds, wants to run because here it doesn't exist. Where would it go should he die here?, Thor muses. Valhalla or Helheim? Would it find the way or would he be lost forever, cursed to wander in between worlds and never reach anything? Can he be lost more than this?

Every step feels like torture, not moving would mean even more pain. He shouldn't be here, it is no place for anyone to wander. The void wants to rid itself of Thor. He hears its claws and teeth clicking though no sound reaches his ears. It is unnatural, there should be no such a thing as absolute silence. Not even his blood pulsing through his veins he can hear. He wants to tear everything apart just to not have to endure this any longer. This is the true torture.

Thor takes a deep breath and reminds himself of the only reason he goes this burdened way. His mind follows his feet reluctantly. The All-father said people would go mad being caught between the worlds for the briefest periods of time and Thor understands why. It feels like he has been walking for weeks.

Nothing moves and everything circles around him. This constant state of nothingness drives him crazy. Is this what happened to Loki? Had he been hurled into this nightmare on the verge of existence with no path to show him his way to anywhere? Thor doubts even his brother could just teleport out of here, out of the nothingness into existence. The branches of Yggdrasil hold truth and knowledge and suffering. The spinning of his mind stops somewhen and numbness takes its place. His movements feel sluggish. Is he even moving?

Thor burns and he freezes, he yells and he rampages, it changes nothing to the nothingness. If anything the darkness seems more unfathomable and the quiet even more complete. When the mist vanished, he can't remember. He is functioning but not registering when it becomes unbearable. Maybe he died and he can't bring himself to care. Everything would be better than this. His head swims. The beasts howl voicelessly around him. He can't decide if it is real or in his head. His existence starts to wane in the endless darkness. Coldness engulfs him again.

Something draws his gaze up. A pale moon shines through the crowns of dark trees as a soft breeze destroys the last hold of the black mist.


	30. Chapter 29 Come Clean

Come Clean

 _Hell is paved with good intentions.  
Samuel Johnson_

Thor gulps down the cold night air like it is the nectar of life. The soft moon light shining down on him must be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A goofy grin forms on his lips as his knees give in and hit the soft ground which is covered in fir needles. The dark guardians of the forest stretch up to the light. His eyes burn from the brightness after having spend eternity in darkness but Thor can't avert them. He is too entranced. He never thought he would see it again.

The wind picks up speed and force and laughter bubbles up in Thor's chest. Relief washes through him. He made it through the void. He is even reasonable sure that he reached the right realm but he is too drained to truly care. The martyrdom has finally come to an end. Somehow he had expected something more pompous when finally getting to the end of the pathway. At least he didn't land in a cave. By now he is sure he would have smashed his way out the second he landed to see something else but blackness.

The breeze he probably summoned himself feels glorious. He briefly closes his eyes to enjoy it but the memory of total darkness is still too close. He needs the light and the warmth that goes with it right now, even if it is just a personal feeling given that the night is rather chilly. Thor notices just exactly how tired and famished he is from his ordeal. Sighing he stands up when his laughing, which seems to come from the bottom of his heart, slowly dies down. The black firs almost drown out all the light here on the ground. Thor feels too drained to use Mjolnir though and land safely so he opts for looking on foot for a passable campsite.

After some minutes he stumbles upon a small clearing. He had collected firewood on the way and lights a fire to banish the last bits of the cold dark mists that had somehow infected his thinking and has let his love, hope and will transform into despair and weakness. Already Thor feels his strength return when the flames lick the dry wood but he feels beaten up like after a particular long battle. He chews on his sustenance that had been unreachable in the not-here-not-there.

It should have sufficed for a few days, long enough to ensure he would find Loki on this world should he not straight away sense him but all Thor knows is that his body screams for it. The hunger somewhat subsides as the food is gone. Staring into the red and orange flames Thor falls asleep. He is not worried about beasts or the like attacking him because they are drawn to the fire. Midgard has none he has to fear and his sleep is not deep enough not to wake should someone or something sneak up on him.

The new day starts several hours after daybreak. The sunlight already reaches over the treetops of the conifers when Thor wakes from the refreshing slumber. In his heart there is new hope when he sees the bright morning. The time in the nothingness already fades from his mind like a bad dream as he is filled with new purpose. It will take some time to truly overcome the journey but Thor can deal with it later, after he found Loki. He truly hopes that when he travels back, it will be not by this mean. He certainly had had his share. Teleporting was uncomfortable but this has shaken Thor to his mark. Never again would he complain about his brother transporting them somewhere with his magic, that he swears to himself.

Thor shakes his head to rid it of the last traces of lingering darkness and sleep. He must fulfill the task at hand. Capture Loki. He swallows hard. His brother killed people, Thor reminds himself. The people he allied with will not stop at Midgard, no, they will destroy his home and the other realms. They and Loki must be stopped. It is the right thing to do. But first he needs to find the ravenette.

Thor takes hold of Mjolnir and summons the little magic he possesses. He had spend his whole life around Loki's magic, he would surely recognize it. He speaks the simple spell and he sees the whole dimension of magical traces of the planet. When he sees it all, he is shocked by the lack of it. Apart from some occasional glimmer and a few brighter dots, there is just one major source of magic apart from Mjolnir. His brother's energy sticks out like blood on a white tunic. The darker magic's traces are far to the southwest but there are new ones, not as tainted with blood and death as the former ones. They are a lot closer and moving. That must be Loki.

Thor takes some deep breaths after letting his magic slip back in place. He already wasted enough time, no need to postpone the inevitable. Thor must see for himself if Loki is truly lost. He must act now and swiftly before Loki notices him here on Midgard and flees. He knows stealth would be better than raw strength. But when he hurls Mjolnir and his feet leave the ground, thunder cracks in the distance. It would seem his heart betrays him in every single way.

xXxXx

'And how did you end up here, Foster?', Tony asks conversationally when he fixes the last plate back on the shoulders of his suit, having successfully repaired the power and weapon systems. The girls had gotten some coffee and food to distract themselves from the talk they just had but an uncomfortable silence had settled again, everyone is dwelling on their own thoughts. Tony can't stand the silence anymore.

Jane huffs. 'You know why. They want to keep an eye on me because of the whole New Mexico stuff and it happened that my research let in the right direction to use for the Tesseract project.'

'So you met here?' Tony points at the two girls in turn.

They share a look which Tony tries to ignore so he glances back to his work to nor mess up the design with his welding work. It will not do to look damaged. The tools they provided him with are better than expected so he decided to do more than the substantial repairs. His private jet would still take a few hours to arrive here. It would take him far too long to travel to New York in his emergency suit, not to mention the drain on his reactor and batteries. Plus he thought Pepper would deserve a fair warning.

'No, not exactly. We met some time after my return.', Stephanie explains after some moments. 'She is a good friend and I confided in her. She brought me into this project. Without her, I wouldn't have found it or someone who'd believe my story. Lucky me.' A little sarcasm swings into the last sentence. 'So Jane took me in as her assistant.'

'I didn't want to put my old intern through this stuff that's happening right now. She is a good friend and I didn't, couldn't do that to her. Darcy.. isn't made for this crap.', Jane justifies herself.

Tony nods. 'Well, I was personally invited by Fury. He seemed very against the idea, if you ask me he was forced. I was very tempted to decline, you know. I mean my father founded SHIELD. He was.. well,', he drawls, 'we weren't exactly the best of buddies. So of course I didn't really want to work for an organization that stands for everything that went wrong in my life.. Well, you can imagine, I had my doubts. I don't trust them as far as Jay can throw them. I mean, how could I? They sneaked a spy into my life just to control me and make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid. And they declared me unfit to work as one of the Avengers.' He still sulks about that. 'But then I thought: It must sure as hell be something big when they ask me to join the club because they trust me even less. I know they want to distract me from something else, so I guess my curiosity got the better of me. And now, see where that's gotten me.' Tony continues his babbling to lighten the mood, not really caring what he says. He just needs to talk when he works, it helps him to relax and stay focused at the task at the same time. Usually he would chat with Dum-E but in emergencies even real people are sufficient.

Tony looks up from his work. 'Hey, my jet will be here shortly. Do you want to go to New York with me?' He doesn't wait for their answer though, but continues to argue straight away: 'I mean, it certainly is cooler than here anyway. You could stay of course but I guess you won't get your stuff back from the base and there you could go shopping, you know, take your mind off things and enjoy the quiet before the storm. Tesseract is not here anymore and this base doesn't look like Disney Land for me, so you'd probably be bored in no time. Hey, why are you laughing?' The girls had started to giggle at his nonstop rambling. 'Stop that! I mean it, you should totally come with me. No offense, but here you are not exactly of great use. Just saying. Fury will call when and if he needs you. If something's about to happen, it sure as hell won't be here. At least no one would begrudge that lunatic this isolated piece of land.'

Steph still has a big grin on his face she always wears when he is caught up in himself. Tony realizes he probably waved around with his hands after checking over the weldseams. 'Sounds tempting.'

Jane looks at the other brunette, chewing on her bottom lip. 'Maybe you should lay low for a while. At least until, you know..' She makes a sweeping motion with her hand.

'Sure you should.', Tony agrees immediately. 'In New York there are eight million people. No one will notice you there. But crazy pants already knows you were near here, Barton will have told him about you. What if he returns because he forgot something? We can't have that. My tower is safer.'

'You just want us as a buffer for Miss Potts.', Steph accuses with a smile.

'Fine, fine. Totally got me there.' Tony throws his hands up in the air. 'But that's just an extra. You get to fly in a private jet and drive with me to my totally awesome tower.' When they don't seem to budge, he adds: 'Come on, please?', he whines. Tony tries his best puppy eyes.

Steph crosses her arms. 'SHIELD isn't exactly generous with our wages. So you pay for our shopping.'

Tony's fingers tap the table a few times. 'Deal.'

A small smile tugs on her face. 'We'll go to New York.' Jane giggles excitedly. 'I never went there before.'

'No?!', Tony asks nonplussed. 'Oh, you missed all the fun. I'll give you the inside tour.' He starts to chat away again about all the things they would do (which of course all included staying away from Pepper but that's totally coincidental though the girls see that different, but what do they know?). They won't see all that tourist traps, nope, Tony wouldn't have that. He'd lead the girls to all his favorite spots, at least those they would enjoy as well. He'd probably have to leave out all strip clubs and the likes. Well, they can still have a great time.

Tony folds his suit and places it in his suitcase when Jay announces the impending arrival of the plane. They still wear the borrowed clothes that hang rather baggy on the girls but well, no means to change that now. Since all their things were buried somewhere in the desert, there is not much to pack. Despite the amount of coffee in Tony's system, he falls asleep the second he sits down in the familiar surroundings of his private jet. All too soon the flight is over, the sun already sets again behind the sky scrapers, painting the buildings in all shades of red to orange. The beautiful city lies there, unsuspecting and happy.

Tony shakes his head to wake up and disturb the dark thoughts. He takes a deep breath. They will handle this and these innocent people will never know something happened at all. Tony will protect them.

'Hey, boss.' Happy awaits them at the airport, ready to drive them home. He eyes the two ladies who scramble out after Tony. Jane seems a little sleep-drugged while Stephanie is freshly energized and has a spring in her step.

'Hey, Happy. Those are Jane and Steph. They'll accompany us.' Tony says smiling, handing Happy his suitcase and makes his way to the car. The car drive is quiet as neither of them know where to start or are just too tired to hold up any conversation. Tony watches the city flash past the toned windows, keeping his eyes fixed on his Tower which he can see from afar. Briefly he wonders if Pepper will already wait for him to give Tony a lecture but believes Jarvis would have informed him if that would be the case. Still he is a little apprehensive when they walk through the entrance doors and step into the elevator.

'Jay?', Tony asks, looking straight ahead as the doors close.

'Sir, Miss Potts has not arrived yet.' Trust his AI to read Tony's mind. 'I have let two guest rooms be prepared on the floor below the penthouse.', they are informed. If possible, the British voice sounds smug.

'Thanks, Jarvis.' Tony smiles. What just would he do without him taking care of everything?

The next days pass in a haze. After fixing his suit and working a little bit on his new one, the Mark VII. The smile returns to all their faces though the looming threat isn't vanquished. Here, where the world is still in order, their sorrows are far away. Pepper is still in Washington fortunately and hadn't found the time to yell at him yet. He had neglected Stark Industries in the past few months, not that he wouldn't have done so before working for SHIELD just now he has an excuse. Tony didn't make her CEO so he would have to take care of all that shit anymore. Of course he had thought at that time that he'd die but it has to count for something.

He shows the girls the city he grew up in and is happy that they drag him out of the lab every now and then when they aren't helping him with the finishing touches on his prototype of the self-sustaining arc-reactor. Jarvis reminded him of that little project of his and that the campaign is already finished and just awaits to be launched. So Tony had sighing agreed to continue working on it. Hopefully this will appease Pepper so he can continue playing hero without her calling every five seconds because of the bad publicity of Iron Man.

'Hey, Nick.' Tony grins at the scowl of the Director though maybe that is just the normal setting of his face. 'What's up?' He was lounging on the comfortable sofa in his penthouse when Jarvis announced the call. He puts down the tablet he was working on when he answers the phone.

'Stark. Are Dr. Foster and Miss Thatch still with you?', the grumpy man inquires immediately.

'Sure.' He leans back against the backrest and props his feet up on the table.

Fury rolls his eyes. 'Will you call them, please?' He puts special emphasis on the last word.

Tony chuckles and looks up slightly. 'Jay, please call the girls.' He loves to annoy Fury. One of these days he'd probably get shot because of that but his self-preservation instinct had never been really highly developed. 'How's the world?', he asks to bridge the time.

'Better if this matter would finally be settled.', Nick says with an edge in his voice. 'We transmitted you all the necessary data to the Avengers Initiative.'

'So you got it through? Congrats, Nick.' Tony grins again and makes himself more comfortable.

He scowls some more. 'They didn't have much of a choice, as you well know.'

'Of course you listened in.' Tony sighs and rolls his eyes. Well, what did he expect from the spy par excellence?

'She may have had more valuable information. We are at war, Stark.', he defends his actions.

Tony shakes his head dismissively. 'So I've heard.' The elevator dings and Jane and Steph come into his living room.

'Big screen, Jay.' Jarvis activates a different holoscreen so they can all see each other without problems. His Starkphone may be nice but definitely not suitable for conversations of four people.

'Director Fury.'

He nods to them. 'We are assembling our forces so we can work more effectively. I would like you to take part in the search and regaining of the Tesseract and that crazy Asgardian. Pack your stuff.' Fury loses no time at all to bring them up to date and even less time to order them around.

'Where will we go?', Jane asks immediately, leaning onto the backrest of the sofa.

'I will send someone to pick you up.' In his eyes shines something like amusement. 'We will use no regular base if that was your question, Dr. Foster.'

Tony's mind had been drifting off but now his head whirls around to look at Fury. 'You will use them.' His face splits into a grin. 'Oh, you're in for a treat, girls.'

'When?' Stephanie doesn't question his reaction though she gives him a pointed look.

'A Quinjet will be there in two hours.' He really doesn't give them time to disagree.

'Nuh uh. That is too soon, Nick. I still need to sort out some stuff here and fix some glitches on my newest suit.' Tony crosses his arms. He won't just let somebody else call all the shots in his life.

Nick sighs. 'You are a valuable asset.', he argues, knowing it will be fruitless.

'I am just of as much use down here. I'll be on call and as soon as you find him, you just give me a call and I come to rescue your little boy-band from completely messing it up.'

Fury nods though he is not happy. 'Fine. You can take care of yourself. I'd feel better if Foster and Thatch are at a more secure place where I can guarantee their safety.'

'Hey! I can take care of myself.', Stephanie snaps suddenly, glaring at the director.

'When he recognizes you, how long exactly do you think he'll let you live? And he knows Foster knows him. He'll be after you as well and he knows you still live. Be just grateful he didn't see you in the lab or he would have killed you instantly to go unnoticed.', Tony talks back. A vein throbs on Fury's temple.

Steph looks to the ground, accepting the validity of his arguments. 'Remember what I told you.', she says when she turned to the elevator and leaves them.

'I better go packing as well.', Jane says and goes after her, shuffling her feet.

'Stark.', Fury starts after some moments of awkward silence. 'You better remember that some petty revenge is not as important as the Tesseract, no matter how justified it may be. It is of the highest importance to regain it, not to kill that alien, the only person who knows where it is.', he warns Tony.

'She sounded serious.' Tony worries his bottom lip.

'He needs to tell us where it is and return the cube. After that, he is all yours.' The last part he says with a glint in his eye. The call ends abruptly. Huh. Had he really just gotten the permission to kill that fucking bastard once he got that little info?

'Damn.'

xXxXx

'You owe me big.' He crosses his arms as he sees the girls off to their work.

Steph snorts. 'And that is why?' She had just handed her bags with the clothes she had bought in the last few days to an agent.

'I brought you here as a buffer for Pepper and the evening she returns, you make a hasty exit.' Tony doesn't pout, definitely not.

'Not our fault. Fury owes you.', she answers with a smirk.

'Fine. You tell him.', Tony adds on an afterthought. The girls grin and hug him goodbye.

Stephanie waves from the Jet. 'Try not to blow up the lab.'

'And where would be the fun in that?' Tony chuckles and goes inside before the Quinjet lifts off. He doesn't like this whole process of saying goodbye and he begins to remember just why. 'Looks like it's just the two of us again like old times.', he says when he enters the living room.

'Miss Potts will arrive at five o'clock at JFK, Sir. She demands to speak with you as soon as she arrives at the Tower.', Jarvis informs him immediately, not giving him the chance to decide whether he likes this new development or doesn't.

Tony sighs. There goes his idea of buffering her fury. 'Have Happy pick her up.' No one should say he doesn't care about her.

'Of course, Sir.'

Far too soon Jay interrupts him during his work and says Pepper's on her way up already. By the time Tony comes out of his workshop, brush off his hands in the desperate attempt to get the grease of them, she already stands in his living room, tapping her foot in an irritated manner.

'Hey, Pep.', he quips and heads directly to the kitchen. She looks far angrier than he'd imagined and Jay prognosticated. Not even her high heels or her business attire change that fact.

''Hey Pep'? Are you serious?' She walks infuriated along behind him, Tony grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and turns around to give her his best innocent smile. 'You can't just vanish for six months and come back with a 'Hey Pep'!' Her glare almost pierces him.

Tony resists the urge to back away. 'You were always complaining about the bad publicity and if I remember correctly you were the one urging me to work with SHIELD. So that's technically totally on you.', he argues, trying to smile as charming as he can.

'I didn't tell you to vanish for six months, just leaving a note saying: 'I'm off on spy business with Fury, sure you'll manage everything. Make sure nobody touches my stuff.'', she perfectly imitates his voice. 'Damn, you have a company to take care of.', Pepper chides him.

'You're CEO. I didn't do that to be there for every single decision.' He raises his hands.

'I didn't even knew where you were.' She still glares.

'Kinda the point of a secret base, don't you think? Hell, I didn't know where I was until I got out of there. Plus you could have asked Jay, he sure would have told you.'

Pepper throws her hair over her shoulder. 'That's also bad publicity for you to vanish like that.'

And that is exactly why that between them wouldn't have worked out. Pepper just tries to control a far too big part of his life and Tony actually has the feeling she doesn't really care about him enough for a serious relationship. She was his personal assistant and never stopped acting like that.

'Oh, as usual, you just care what everyone else thinks. Typical.', he snorts.

Pepper sighs. 'Well, you never. So that's my job.'

Tony lets out a surprised laugh. 'I am trying to save the world, Pepper. But instead of helping SHIELD find the lunatic who almost murdered the whole base I was in, I am here to talk to you because I still think you are my best friend. I finished the self-sustaining arc-reactor in the cellar so you would have something to tell the public, because evidently that's the most important thing there is and the only thing I am good for.', he snarls. 'Jay organized you a fucking campaign so you can stop your accusations.' He talks himself into a rage. 'You've been keeping on and on at me to work for SHIELD to save the planet or some fuck like that and now you are backing off. So go, I will activate your publicity stunt, give an interview and that's it. After that, I will take care of a different problem.' He crosses his arms.

'You- you were attacked?', she stutters.

'The world is under attack.', he clarifies. 'I am sorry I do not care too much about public appearances. Plus, I don't know what you want. If I go out into clubs or if I work, everything is not what you want. Pep, I don't need a mother. I had a good one.' He glares at her. 'Jay, draw up the screen. There you go.' Tony hands her the tablet. 'Your presentation. That's all you care about, right?' He shakes his head in resignation.

'Tony..', Pepper seems lost for words. She tries to reach out to him.

'Forget it.', Tony mutters and walks out of the room. He reaches his small workshop in the penthouse and begins at random to pick out something to tinker with and get his mind off of things. So by the time Pepper catches up with him Tony has his hands buried in the spare parts of his latest upgrade of Butterfingers.

'I was worried about you.', the red head says quietly, approaching him. 'This felt too much like Afghanistan.'

'Took you long enough to get here. I've been in New York for days.', Tony mutters and refuses to look at her just yet. His hands shake slightly and he does more damage to the delicate wiring than he cares to admit.

She lets out her breath in a huff and deflates. 'I can't just drop everything and come running.'

'But you're expecting me to.' He turns around and glares at her for good measure. Ever since that stupid dance at the gala their whole relationship seems somehow stressed. And she had never quite forgiven him for not telling her he was about to die from Palladium poisoning either. Tony should have never asked her to dance, there are more than enough women and men who'd free willingly jump into his bed. This between them would never work out, not as long as she pretends that every single of his steps needs monitoring or that he'd be lost without her like a fucking five year old kid. So what if he doesn't know his social security number? He can always just look it up or ask Jarvis for it. Tony guesses that was the moment he realized that for Pepper he'd always be a hopeless case and never more than a friend. And that would be fine if she'd stop being his mother at one point. 'You expect me to just sit around at home, design new products and go to social events, smile and pretend that that is the life. You know, Iron Man is just me in a suit. I am not actually a robot. I am granting Jarvis more breaks than you'd like to see me take.', he snaps and crosses his arms, daring her to contradict him.

She looks resigned. 'I am sorry.', she says with enough genuineness to almost convince him. 'It's just.. Your name still stands on the door and you're head of the board. I thought that would mean something to you.' Despite him 'just inheriting' the company's leadership and not working for it as she did. It remains unsaid between them.

'It does.', he concedes. 'But occasionally Iron Man and doing the right thing is more important than profit. I got the possibility to research something extraordinary.' He shrugs. 'The business is going well, I know that. So that gives me the time to help humanity and do something that might just change the planet.'

Pepper nods. 'Okay.', she almost whispers. She knows that tonight they won't come to an agreement on the matter.

He huffs and shakes his head but says nothing. She is just like Fury. Pretend that the world keeps spinning but not wasting a thought on the who or how. 'I'll disconnect us from the power grid. I want to look over the wiring one more time though, make sure nothing burns out. So you go through that,', he points at the tablet in her hands, 'then I'll be done and you get the honor to press the button tonight so everyone will see. You can get the press here by tomorrow and I'll be nice.', Tony suggests to show his good will.

The press conference starts early the next morning after the perfect activation of the reactor. The view had been picture-perfect and made Tony proud of what he had created with his own hands. His name plastered into the sky is just a small bonus. The short power cut of his Tower had even made the evening news after Pepper had called the press. Tony answers all their questions, explains generally how everything works and that this is just a prototype and it's working flawlessly. Furthermore, it is just the beginning of this technology and Stark Industries' new research branch will shape the future with these. Clean, self-sustaining energy gets all the reporters exited.

The evening news are all enthralled about the conference. 'First he is gone for months only to return with a bang. Tony Stark is back and with him comes his completely new technology for self-sustaining energy. This might well be the break through in clean energies. As to his disappearance, Mr. Stark merely said: 'Good things take time.'' Tony is seen with his million dollar smile plastered on his face. The blonde drones on about him, following various false leads as to where he spend the last few months, the most popular being a booze-cruise.

The next two days Tony spends in his workshop and at the company. He knows he should travel after the girls to the Helicarrier and help them but as long as Fury hadn't found the lunatic or the Cube he would be of no more use up there. So he might as well stay down here and mend some relationships and take care of his life.

He drinks a scotch after another day of boring meetings Tony thought he'd better attend to get on top with his company as he already happens to be in New York, when he gets the call.

'We got a lead.', Fury says without intro.

'Where?' Tony jumps up and gives Jarvis a sign to prepare the Mark VI.

'Germany.'

xXxXxXx

 **''Make your move, Reindeer Games.'' *.***

 **Sorry, couldn't resist. I am not overly comfortable with this chapter but well... I hope I was able to make you understand why Tony isn't with Pepper. I never really liked her, especially after watching Civil War (He looked so sad but maybe that was just the cherry on top of that heap of depression).**

 **Anyway. I finally caught up with both time lines and next chapter they will finally collide *YAY*, meaning more Thor-time and more Loki. So, see you next week!**


	31. Chapter 30 Stimulus and Response

Stimulus And Response

 _If you wake up at a different time in a different place,  
could you wake up as a different person?  
Fight Club_

He is caught up in his thoughts. What should he do? Tony barely refrains himself from pacing through the Quinjet. The lunatic needed to be taken alive, he tells himself. He shipped the Tesseract away and whoever has it right now would use it to create another portal to fly in that army that crazy man-god-something had threatened them with. Furthermore, Tony is supposed to be the good guy. He can't just kill him off, no matter what Stephanie said or how serious he took her warning. From what he had seen himself, the maniac would be better off dead. Just without him their chances are really low on finding the cube. But Tony is Iron Man, a symbol. He can't just shoot him in the head after the dark haired man surrendered to them. Good people don't do that apparently, no matter if it would be better for humanity. He couldn't kill him, least of all in the open street where everyone could see and record him. There is a slight difference now that there would be just three witnesses should Tony decide to listen to his instincts. Heroes don't do that however satisfying it may be to wipe that smile of Loki's face, he reminds himself yet again.

He starts to chat with Captain America, the star spangled man with the terrible plan to take on Loki alone, to distract himself from the unnerving stare of Loki. Capsicle thinks he gave up too quickly which Tony would brush off as nerves if he hadn't seen him laughing with the barrel pointing at his face. He had seen him taking some blows from Cap and being actually shot by guns. He doubts his missiles would have a far bigger effect on him.

The uniform of the Captain is quite old-fashioned. A little too much for his taste, but the blond can still somehow pull it off without looking completely ridiculous. That takes some serious confidence and attitude. Tony has shed his helmet to not speak with that metallic though cool robot voice. He eyes the man whom his father in a drunken state would never shut up about. During the search for the dear Captain Howard had found the Tesseract, another thing on the long list of terrible things gone wrong in Tony's life he can blame his father for, but his favorite science project had seemed to have disappeared from the face of the Earth and no matter how much money or time Howard put in it, wouldn't show up again. The blond seems a little taken by himself, then again, so is he himself. Tony can hardly judge him for that. Hell, if he'd look like that he'd probably also wear tight fitting spandex.

'You don't need to tell me he has an endgame. I've seen him in action, Capsicle.' He casts one last look to their prisoner, telling the other in silence that he won't elaborate here in front of the lunatic.

Cap sighs. 'Fine.'

'Come on, Capsicle, brighten up.', Tony says with a smile to rid himself of any anticipation. Laugh in the face of danger, that had always been his thing. That's what unnerves the villains the most. 'You held your ground pretty well. What's your thing, Pilates?'

Cap frowns. 'What?'

Tony waves it off. 'It was a compliment. If I would have known how great you look in real life I might have spend more time actively searching for you. We could do Pilates together sometime and you can show me how spry you really are.' He wriggles his eyebrows but eventually can't keep in his laughter about Cap's face. His eyes widen and his mouth hangs agape before he regains control of his features.

A small blush makes its way on the pale cheeks of the blond's face as he turns his head away to hide it. A smile appears on the brunet man's face. Tony decides he likes teasing Cap.

'What is it? Scared of a little lightening?', Cap asks their prisoner irritated after some moments of silence. Tony looks to the windscreen and sees they've flown into one hell of a thunderstorm. He frowns. Jarvis definitely hadn't lost a word about that in the weather forecast and that surely not because of neglect. His loyal friend would have warned him just in case he'd need to fly outside. The air seems to crack with electricity. The past few days he had read up on the Norse mythology and he is quite certain this rings a bell.

'I am just not overly fond of what follows.', the pale man with the ghastly blue eyes says evenly though he still watches the lightning fork the sky. Tony scrutinizes him. He is more resigned than worried the way he tries to catch a glimpse of the sky.

Even Natasha seems uneasy about the sudden appearance of the storm. 'Where does this come from?', she asks nobody in particular when the plane is tossed from side to side by the strong winds. She has trouble keeping it steady. A dull thud from above them makes them all stare at the ceiling. It sounded almost like something falling on it.

'Romanov, I'll have a look outside.', he announces and grabs his helmet to place it on his head again. He is a little uneasy if just because of Loki's behavior. There is this mad glint in his eyes, he seems happy about the development though he doesn't want to let on about the why.

Before Tony can take more than two steps towards the opening hatch, a blond giant clad in armor and a ridiculous red cape lands on it. He stands up, easily towering all present people when his eyes find Loki. For a second Tony fears him to be a helper of Loki, the exterior indicates the blond to be another Asgardian. The cape looks similar to the one the maniac sprouted earlier and the armor seems to be of the same style. The Captain seems to feel equally threatened as he picks up his shield and squares his shoulders. Jarvis runs a scan of the possible hostile but can't find any obvious weak spot, just confirms that his readings are similar to those of their prisoner.

'Loki.' His voice carries through the cargo area though he whispers, booming like the thunder above their heads. The stranger holds a hammer in his hands. He stands frozen at the door, the wind beats around him as he stares at the other man in surprise and complete bewilderment. Any doubt that he is here to free Loki vanishes from Tony's mind. He seems to be truly perplexed to find the dark haired man here though he seems to have been looking for him but not believing he'd find him. 'Brother.', he has a slight British accent.

'Hey, Blondie. If you want to come in that's fine but please step out of the door.' Tony doesn't have a bad feeling about him. If he had wanted to free Loki or harm them, the warrior would have done so already. For the first time the blond seems to realize they are not alone. He casts a glance back to the storm before stepping in fully. The blond seems wary but willing to be reasoned with.

'Who are you?', Cap demands to know, still keeping his shield clasped in his hand to defend himself just in case. The hatch closes, Romanov apparently trusts Tony's call, and cuts off the wind. Tony flips his faceplate up again to talk more freely.

'My name is Thor Odinson from Asgard. I came to take my brother back home.', he announces in a booming voice. Loki huffs loudly in the background. So he really stepped right out of mythology. The storm outside dies slowly down. Thor, god of thunder, wielder of Mjolnir, Prince of Asgard. That's what the files had said, then again these information come from Loki but apparently they seem to be correct. The fact that he is the brother of the lunatic doesn't put Tony at ease.

'I'm Steven Rogers and this is Anthony Stark.' The all-too familiar words are already on the tip of Tony's tongue but he manages to keep quiet for now. 'We captured Loki but you cannot simply take him.', he explains to the other blond. 'He has to justify himself for the crimes he committed.'

Thor sighs and hangs his head. How it is possible that a giant like that manages to look like a kicked puppy is over Tony's head. 'I know. That is why I am here. Allow me to stay here to keep an eye on him.' Thor looks up again and sets his face. 'You have no idea what he is capable of.' They all cast a look at the pale man who rolls his eyes. 'And I need to speak with him in private.' His bright blue eyes flash. 'If you please.', he adds after some moments.

Tony nods. 'You can stay if you want. Do you know what he has done?', he asks, motioning them to follow him to the other side of the hatch so Loki would not listen to their every word.. He had heard stories about Thor's prowess in battle. If just a tenth of them are true, he would be a valuable and welcome asset to restrain Loki. Some more help could not be bad. And Loki doesn't seem to happy about this arrangement and everything that's uncomfortable for the maniac makes Tony jubilant.

'I have come to see if it is true. Unfortunately it appears to be.' Sadness fills his voice when he watches his brother.

'So your world doesn't stand behind him?', Cap asks to confirm.

'No. We do not wish harm to your realm, Steven. I come only to offer our apologies for Loki's behavior. I do not know what madness drives him, I need to speak to him to find out what I can but I will protect your realm from this threat at the cost of my life.' He puts his right fist over his heart.

Cap contemplates for some moments. 'We appreciate your help.'

'You should speak to him soon, Thor. We will still be in the air for some hours before we reach our main base.' Tony turns to the front. 'You should warn Fury. Tell him we found an ally.', he asks of Natasha. He doesn't know why he trusts the man but he can't fathom Thor would be able to deceive him if his life depended on it. He has the aura of a warrior, an easy man with easy motives. Cap and Romanov seems to feel the same as they still do not object to Tony's decision.

They grant Thor and Loki some space and sit down in front for the remnant of the uneventful flight. The brothers take the second cargo hold where they had wanted to put Loki anyway so he would not try anything to take over the Quinjet. Though Romanov has a screen drawn up to watch the men, she has the decency to mute their conversation. Thor seems to discuss and try to talk some sense into him but Tony soon looks away, feeling like he spies on something that is not meant for his eyes. Thor joins them after a while, looking downcast.

The Quinjet lands on the Helicarrier in midair. Tony notes that the camouflage on the belly works flawlessly so he just got a good look on his design when they land. Agents start to swarm their vehicle as Cap and he walk out with Loki, Thor immediately behind them. The guns they carry do not seem to sway Loki but his brother eyes them warily, not knowing that the dark haired man had already faced them and came out unharmed.

'Do not harm him.', he threatens as they part ways when the agents want to bring Loki to his accommodations.

'Don't worry, pal. They will just keep him safe.' Tony doesn't mention the nice cozy cell awaiting the dark haired man, dangling on little hinges 30,000 feet over the ground. Fury comes down the hallway.

'Stark, Captain.' He nods to them and eyes Thor. Introductions are quickly exchanged. 'If he cooperates, he has nothing to fear.', Fury tells him when Thor repeats his warning. 'We would like to debrief you about your brother. Maybe that will help us both to understand what he plans to do.'

'Well, you do that.', Tony says. 'I need to get out of this suit if you have no immediate need of Iron Man anymore.'

Cap agrees and Fury points them in the direction of their prepared quarters. When his suit comes off finally, Tony groans in relief. He hadn't dared take it off completely with Loki sitting in the cargo hold, looking unfazed and being just minimally secured. Furthermore the others had seemed to feel the need to keep their weapons and defenses close as well as long as they were in the air.

The rooms they assigned him are bigger than his old at the research facility. Still, they feel tiny after having spend some days in his apartment in the Tower. Tony digs in the food waiting for him, having during all the excitement catching Loki not noticed how famished he was after the flight to Germany and now to who knows where. Two cups of black coffee get his focus back on the tasks at hand.

The rest of their small team is in the control room and already making plans about how to defend Earth in the worst possible scenario.

'Tony.'

He turns around and barely has time to register the two women in the door before Steph flings herself at him. 'I missed you too.', he jokes when his arms come around her.

'I was worried.', she says.

'I'm fine.', Tony reassures her.

'We saw the pictures from Germany.' Tony looks over her shoulder to Jane in the background. She nods and smiles weakly, then sits down next to Dr. Banner whom she knows because of Eric. 'The transmission was cut off in the middle of the fight. Fury refused to tell me what happened.'

'Sorry, should have called ahead.' He smiles when she finally draws back. Worry is evident on her face and fear lingers in her eyes.

'Did you..?', she lets the question trail off when Tony shakes his head, already guessing her question.

'No, sorry.', he apologizes and is surprised how wholehearted he means it. Of course Stephanie had wanted Loki dead, he feels sorry for her now to be trapped with her torturer on one vehicle. She smiles bravely but can't wipe the disappointment from her features. 'You should tell the others what you told me.', Tony wants to take Steph's mind of the villainous favor she asked for. 'That'd help us a lot probably to make plans.' Her smile gets more genuine and Steph nods, finally letting go of him completely. He knows this must be hard for her but she sees the necessity.

Then her eyes land on Thor and her face falls.

xXxXx

Captain America and the Man of Iron leave Thor alone in the cargo hold of their flying ship so he can do what he came to Midgard for. He takes a deep breath and turns to his brother. First he had thought about rescuing Loki out of the hands of these mortals but when he had set eyes on him, Thor found himself frozen in shock but his mind began to work properly again. He had made a promise to protect Midgard.

They had brought Loki to a second smaller room, granting them more private sphere though the blond does not doubt they will still watch Loki. They'd be reckless not to.

Thor doesn't really want to talk to his brother, is afraid what he might find out. The situation in which these mortals had captured him leaves Thor with little doubt that he may truly have done those horrible deeds Heimdall accused Loki of. But maybe, there is still a chance this is all just a terrible misunderstanding. Maybe when they are alone, his brother will confide in him why he did this, that it was necessary to kill these mortals.

But if that be true, why had Loki not come home, back to Thor, back to his life? He needs to know what happened, if Loki went mad, why he had not been happy to see him.

'You are alive.' Thor stands in the entry and watches Loki sit on the bench like he couldn't imagine another place to be now. Dread curls in his stomach. He looks just like Thor remembers him, his hair had grown out a bit and he hasn't worn his ceremonial armor very often but otherwise he could have just walked out of the throne room and into Thor's chambers to discuss a detail.

'Perceptive as usual, brother.' Loki sounds calm enough but he sits out the last word. Can he still ponder over the incident and think Thor cares for whether they share blood or not?

'Why didn't you come home?', Thor asks, drawing a little strength from the anger he feels about Loki's self-righteous behavior.

Loki snorts and rolls his eyes. 'What home? Odin will have told you all about my true origin by now, right? I have no home, Thor, it was taken from me.', he hisses. 'So I have got to make myself a new home.' He shrugs and leans back again, radiating calmness once again.

'We thought you dead.', Thor accuses. His brows furrow slightly in sadness, his voice quivers a little bit though Thor tries to keep it steady.

'You were glad I was gone.' His silver voice gets dark. 'I was glad to be gone from you. That's why I didn't come back.', Loki says nonchalantly as though he speaks about the weather. Thor's heart breaks hearing his brother not wanting him anymore. It makes it hard to speak but the words somehow make it out of his throat.

'It is not too late, brother. Let go of this poisonous dream and come home with me.', he begs and takes several steps to Loki but resists the urge to pull him into an embrace. He yearns for physical contact, just to make sure Loki is real, however, he would probably not accept the touch. 'This is madness, you must see that.' Thor closes the remaining distance between them and sits down next to the ravenette. When Loki turns to him to mock, Thor's eyes widen in shock. The brilliant emerald of his eyes has gone and been replaced by a strange unnerving blue. Thor had never seen him like that. But the color isn't the only thing that makes them unrecognizable. Something mad sparkles in their depths, ready to take over completely. It already infected his mind, Thor can see it. The mischief is gone and chaos and fire took its place. Had Odin been right? Had Loki fallen and lost his mind in the process? There is no glimmer of love or even affection in them, no trace of true recognition. Is he gone? Thor's blood freezes at the mere thought. Had Loki cut himself off from him? Severed all ties to his former life because somewhere in the back of his queer mind it made sense? Does Loki simply not care about anything anymore?

'Is it madness?', Loki hisses, glaring at him. 'I will be king of Midgard, free them and bring them peace. Something Asgard never did to any world. I have seen the universe, Thor, and I have found truth. I was reborn, brother.' His eyes have a crazy glint, like the smirk stretched across his face.

'Brother, have you forgotten everything we shared?' Thor takes Loki's shackled hands in his own, painfully noting the absence of a promise given. He would like to take of the shackles but knows it would be counterproductive.

'What we shared?' He laughs mirthless and yanks his hands away. 'We never shared anything. You pushed me into your shadow, let me rot in darkness and got all of the light and glory for yourself, golden son of Asgard. Did you even mourn for me?', he asks. Has he ever made Loki feel that way?

Thor's mouth opens and closes several times without words coming out. How can Loki doubt Thor suffered as much as he did? 'Of course, Loki. We all missed you dearly. How can you think we wouldn't?' His voice wavers slightly with emotions.

Loki snorts. 'My eyes were opened. So stop this farce!'

'By whom? Who is truly in charge of this whole insanity?' Anger wells up to cover up the pain his words have caused Thor. Even when Loki is mad, his words still cut deep. 'Do you truly believe he will let you rule as more than a marionette?', he demands to know, hoping this will wake up his clever brother.

'I have the power to topple the defenses of the week mortals.' He isn't even listening.

'You cannot do this, the Midgardians will never accept you.'

'Always the defender of the weak, always fighting their battles for them. You bring them naught but war.', Loki accuses him. 'I bring them freedom.', he states with a smile.

'Please, listen to me.', Thor beseeches him. 'If you just let go of this plan, we will find a way. To bring that army that Heimdall saw, to Midgard won't do you any good. Please, Loki.', he tries to reason.

'My force is formidable.', he counters and leans back again, away from Thor. Loki seems to draw confidence from those words.

'Please, come back. Come back home. I know you are confused.', he tries one last time.

'My mind has never been so clear.', Loki interrupts him. 'You don't like that but not everyone wants to follow you and your heroism.', he spits out. 'You just want the power of the Tesseract to carry it back like the good son.', he laughs. 'I must disappoint again, brother. I send it off, I know not where.'

'You fell, Loki. Don't you remember the time before?' Are you really gone?, he adds in his head. He can't give up on his little brother, his lover, his everything. Loki has to remember, he just has to. To choose between his duty for this realm and his duty for Loki would be impossible.

'I do remember and I do see. I didn't fall. I burned and you did nothing. I had to find my way alone because that's what the shade of your greatness made me. But now is my time and you can't stop me.' Revenge seems to dominate his thinking, he makes Thor responsible for everything bad he remembers, the good and the penance Thor payed for his past misdeeds is forgotten. Thor can't help but feel guilty for he knows that Loki is at least partly right in his judgement that Thor got all the attention and was the center of attention while his brother lurked in the shadows.

'As you wish. Brother.', he says defeated and leaves Loki alone.

He is gone. His love is gone and won't come back that easily. Loki's love for him must have been burned from his mind or he decided Thor isn't good enough for him anymore.

He has succumbed to madness. His brain must have been addled with by this Mad Titan. Thor swears to himself that he would find the one responsible for setting his brother loose and that he would have his revenge or die whilst trying. Midgard is under his protection from now on and, as sad as it makes Thor, Loki is a threat to it. He is gone, the blond tells himself again, this creature of madness and revenge is no longer the man he loves. Loki is dead in a manner of speaking. His Loki would not kill because it is fun and laugh at him for caring. How often he stopped Thor from such brash actions in battle, Thor cannot remember but he had always been thankful later when the blood lust had subsided. But Thor needs to realize that there is maybe no way back. Still, he won't stop trying to get his lover back, somehow. He'd protect Loki from any harm he can for the time till then, and Midgard from his rule.

Thor goes back to the front of this flying vehicle to sit with the others, waiting for their arrival and more information. The others stay silent as he sulks and is lost in his thoughts. He notes they don't lay down their weapons and tightens his grip on Mjolnir. Loki has always a trick up his sleeve, a bigger scheme and even that empty shell of his beloved has in shackles the air of someone dangerous. To underestimate him now could mean their certain failure. Thor watches his brother sit back in his cell, the small screen seems to be their means of surveillance. He doesn't seem fazed at all, it unnerves Thor to no end.

They reach what Thor assumes to be a flying castle just when he begins to get restless. After telling the guards who come to collect them and Loki that they better not dare laying a hand on his brother, Thor and his newfound companions meet a man with an eye patch and dark skin. His appearance demands authority and Thor feels himself reminded of his father, though not in a good way.

'I am Director Fury of SHIELD.', he says in a deep pleasant voice.

Thor nods to him. 'Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of Asgard.' Their eyes widen, Fury's almost imperceptible, Steven's vigorous. Only Stark seems unimpressed but Thor has the feeling he isn't even listening because seconds later he excuses himself and leaves with Captain Rogers, leaving Thor alone with the slightly intimidating man. Silently Fury leads the way to a room which he seems to use as a study.

'What do you know about what happened here?', Fury starts immediately after closing the door, not losing any time. The others had probably already told the man about Thor before they arrived as he doesn't question his identity nor his status.

'I know enough about Loki's attack though maybe not all the details but definitely enough.' Thor sighs. 'He has gone mad.', he adds quieter.

'What happened to him and are you people with him?' Fury leans on the table behind him, crossing his arms, staring directly at him.

Thor raises his eyebrows. 'No, Asgard is not with him. Loki has a different army behind him, the Chitauri, an army we know not where from. We would send you our help to protect your world from this threat but our mean of transport was destroyed some years past when he..' He stops for a moment. 'I came here to return my brother home.'

Fury nods. 'He visited Earth before.', he notes, getting a little more comfortable in his position.

'Aye. When Loki returned.. An accident happened. He was lost in the vast expanse of space for a long time. He never made it home. We thought my brother dead.'

'We need to get the Tesseract back.', he informs Thor matter-of-factly.

'I know.', Thor acknowledges. 'Without it he won't be able to summon his forces. But he won't give it up. He doesn't even have it with him and I do not doubt his word that he knows not where it is. He is driven by revenge and anger, Loki would not talk, even if he knew, no matter what we'd do to him. He is already burning right now.'

'He must have a way to get it to where it is. Do you think you can talk him into giving it back?'

Thor shakes his head. 'He doesn't really recognize me. I haven't always been the best brother or man towards him. Now he wants revenge for that. He is not my brother anymore, I fear. At least not the one I grew up with.' To say it out loud hurts even more. 'Still, I will not let you hurt him unnecessarily.' Fury nods. 'But I will protect Midgard however I can.', Thor vows.

'We didn't know you'd show but I am sure we can accommodate you. I got a team assembled to face this threat. I will introduce them to you as soon as you are fine with it.', the man offers.

'A short rest would be much appreciated.' Thor inclines his head in respect. Another man leads him to small chambers with a bed and an enclosing washing room. Thor looks out of the window as he takes off his cape. They are indeed out of sight of the ground, just fluffy clouds surround them. The blond braids his hair back and eats some of the food offered though his mind is too full to think of fatigue properly. He'd need his strength to face his brother again without breaking down or showing weakness, his brother always despised that, and to meet the other people Fury mentioned with the dignity that would befit his status.

Half an hour of restless pacing later Thor leaves his designated chambers and finds his way to the bridge of the ship with the help of some intimidated people.

All the light and noise are like a wall he runs into as soon as the doors open and he steps into an area overviewing the rest of this center of command. Down there a lot of mortals scurry around and do their work, whatever that may be. Thor watches them for some moments. It looks almost like the hurrying in the base camp in times of battle.

A table is at the wall on the higher podium and Thor spots a familiar figure, at least he believes the tall blond man to be the same he met on the plane though he doesn't wear that colorful costume anymore. In battle he is seen with it from afar, his style signals Thor that he also prefers open fight to stealth. Thor at least understands that and finds comfort in this familiarity. When the other blond sees him he forces a smile and motions Thor to come over. Thor thinks he likes the Captain.

'Hi. Did you get some rest?', Steven asks friendly, standing up to shake his hand which is apparently the custom on this planet instead of gripping the other's forearm.

'Hello.', Thor greets back. 'In times like these I cannot find rest.'

Steven nods. 'I understand that. Can't sit still while danger is upon us.' The man speaks like a true warrior. Thor hadn't thought he'd find such valor here on Midgard. 'But let me introduce you to the rest.'

'That would be much appreciated.', Thor thanks him.

They walk over to the other side of the platform where a dark haired man with glasses stands next to the door, ready to leave the room at any time it seems. He fidgets a little as approach him.

'Thor, this is Dr. Bruce Banner.' They shake hands. 'Dr. Banner, this is Thor, er, Prince of..', Steven falters.

'Asgard.', he completes. Something about the small man strikes Thor as odd, though he can't quite place the feeling. He just knows he is facing a dangerous man. Something about Banner makes his hairs stand up and the instinct to grab Mjolnir and make himself ready for battle intensifies. It makes no sense whatsoever. The man isn't tall nor muscly, he seems even afraid to be here, still Thor's battle instincts call to him to be wary.

Banner nods. 'Brother of our lovely house guest.' Thor frowns briefly. 'I've read what Loki told SHIELD the last time he visited. It wasn't much but he seemed quite fond of you.'

Thor nods and is tempted to look away as a red haired woman comes to their small group. It takes his mind of the not-so-pleasant thoughts coming with Dr. Banner's statement. At least back then Loki had still loved him, it is a little consolation. Thor is sure she had been on the plane as well but they weren't introduced. 'And this is Natasha Romanov.', Steven fills him in. She has the air of an assassin, she is dangerous and Thor will try not to underestimate her. Though she would not win a fight against him, he is certain a normal mortal of his size would struggle to hold his ground against her.

'Lady Natasha.' Thor takes her hand and kisses it politely as he was taught.

'Oh, a gentleman.' She grins like a cat. 'Stark won't join us any time soon so we might as well start.', she says, coming down to business immediately.

They sit down at the table large enough to house twice as many and begin to elaborate information and plans. Natasha tells him exactly what happened today during the capture but fortunately leaves out the gruesome details concerning his brother. They want to find the Tesseract as soon as possible and by any means necessary. The Man of Iron, now without his battle attire, joins them some time later, they all already seem to know about each other and fortunately are all aware of the gravity of the situation Midgard is in. Thor just discusses battle plans with his new comrades in arms when two brunette women enter the room, one speaks very quietly and intimate with Stark. Thor immediately knows they are no warriors though the one speaking with the man has something dangerous about her, not the same way as Banner but nonetheless.

'You should tell the others what you told me.', he asks of her. Fear and doubt mingle in her but she nods and they don't cling to each other anymore. With a small smile she turns fully to the group but as her eyes land on Thor she freezes. Their eyes lock and she stares with a mixture of pain, shock and something like longing up at him for he had stood up for the formal introduction.

'Hello, Milady.', he says as soft as he can to soothe her. 'I am Thor.' He bows slightly as she doesn't react. Tears pool in her eyes and she looks desperate as the small woman runs out of the room with a 'Sorry' on her lips.

'What did I do?', Thor asks after staring some moments at the now closed door. He is confused and bewildered. He had unknowingly caused the strange woman discomfort but can't understand with what. Stark sighs and turns away to the rest of the room, clapping his shoulder as he steps to Thor.

'Not your fault, pal. Steph..' He sighs. 'She went though a lot. Loki is part of the reason for this, and trust me, if I'd know what he did to her to make her like this..', he trails off. He takes a deep breath. 'She probably recognized you and that kinda shocked her to have you standing here. Reminds her of your dear brother.' Stark sighs. 'Just give her time. She'll get along. Soon-ish.'

He walks past Thor and holds a monologue about something Thor doesn't quite understand, leaving him effectively alone with his thoughts. He barely registers the other brunette going after the strange woman.

xXxXxXx

 **Thank you for all the lovely feedback. You know how much I love reviews or to generally hear from you :3**

 **As usual, some lines where either quoted from the movies or at least close enough I hope to be recognized. I don't own them. Nor the Avengers (Unfortunately).**

 **But well, what in Hel was that about? I fear you will have to wait till next week for the solution of this mystery (If it is not totally transparent to you which I hope it isn't). Then finally we will find out (almost) all there is to know about our dear Stephanie and unveil some secrets. Sigh. Until then!**

And sorry for the Stony jab. Couldn't resist.


	32. Chapter 31 Too Late

Too Late

 _It is the human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.  
Anatole France  
_ _  
_

Tears run down Stephanie's face as she races down the hallways. Where she runs exactly to, she doesn't know. She just knows she needs to get away as far as possible from the bridge and the Asgardian introducing himself to her.

When her legs tire of running she reaches the small room she can call her own on this Helicarrier. It doesn't feel like much that keeps her from running straight through the window when the door opens and the inviting blue sky comes in sight. If the glass wouldn't be bulletproof it would be even more tempting. Maybe then at least this whole farce would be over and if she'd be lucky the threat that hangs over the Earth would be banished as well. But as it is Stephanie merely flops down on the bed and lets the tears flow, desperation clawing at her heart and soul, threatening to rip apart the last shred of sanity left. Existence usually is unbearable enough but seeing him standing there amongst the others, it nearly made her lose the mind she had so long fought for. It nearly made her heart leave this wretched body which she hates so much and still depends on. On some days she doesn't know who stares back out of the mirror. A stranger or herself, the line gets more blurred with each day that passes. The blond managed to skip rope with it. _'Hello, Milady. I am Thor.'_ The words burn on Stephanie's mind, tear it apart and it was all she could do not to transform into a sobbing mess at the floor right that instant. What had she expected?, she scolds herself. She should have been able to keep her face and fulfill her duty, tell them what she knows and hope Thor would realize his mistake.

'Steph?' The door had clicked quietly not a moment ago, not that the woman on the bed had noticed. She tries to wipe away the tears but new follow suit. A look to the door confirms that none other than Jane stands there, worrying what she might do to herself if left alone in this condition. A lifetime ago Stephanie wouldn't have let anyone see her like this, never, would have yelled and hissed at her, thrown her out with the fury of a berserker. Now merely new sobs spill from her lips and Steph doesn't just accept the warm arms that soon wrap themselves around her, she craves them.

'Everything will be fine.', Jane tries to comfort her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner. 'We will find a way and then it'll be as if none of this ever happened. You just have to hold on for a little longer.' Sweet, dear Jane. What would she just do without her as a friend? She always knows just what to say, had helped her through her worst. She is the only one Stephanie has to depend on right now and seeing the lack of reaction earlier that won't change anytime soon. But this time Steph can't believe in her words. Nothing can be as before. She remembers, she burned, she fell, she lost everything. Some of that can't be replaced or reversed.

She shakes her head. 'It is too late.' Her chest constricts at the thought but she forces the words past her lips.

'It's not, we still have time. If you would just explain to him..', she pacifies but Stephanie interrupts her.

'He wouldn't believe me. Maybe it all is just in my head. I wonder if the next time I wake up I find out my old life was just a dream and that none of it was real. With every new day I feel it slipping away further.' She stares blindly ahead, her voice barely raised to a whisper. 'What if I lose it? What if it never was mine and this is all some trick, some scheme to use me?' Often these questions had burdened her during the nighttime hours, to speak them out loud just makes the dilemma she's in, worse.

'Shush.' Jane again rubs circles on her back to soothe her. Slowly Stephanie stops crying and she pulls out her long necklace to gaze at the beautiful ring at the end of it. She always carries it over her heart so that no one would see it.

'He didn't recognize me.', she chokes out.

'You didn't give him a chance.', Jane says but Steph shakes her head before her friend even finished the sentence.

'I don't know but I just had that ridiculous hope that Thor would see me and recognize me. He thinks I am a maniac, he must.' And how could he not? This is nothing else but madness. 'Oh, I lost him. I will never wake up from this nightmare!', she whines as new hot tears run down her cheeks.

'Stephanie.', Jane admonishes.

'This is a fate worse than death. I thought never seeing him again would be but this is worse. To know his love for me is lost, Jane.' The woman wails in agony.

'Steph.' Jane tries to get her attention but she shakes from head to toe and is blind for her efforts.

'No, he hates me.' Stephanie isn't even listening. 'I won't ever get him back. He is lost, I am lost. Each day I am fading away and can't even say goodbye.'

'Loki!' She almost screams to drown the crying and desperate words leaving the broken figure in front of her. It seems to work as the woman freezes and looks up at Jane, tears still burning in her eyes. 'Loki, you need to calm down. You're no good like this.' Hope gleams in the dark brown eyes that used to be green like the forest as she takes a few deep breaths to regain her composure. 'You're still Loki.', she reminds him in his darkest moments. 'They can't take that ever away from you.' Loki slows his breath to calm down. He is not Stephanie. When had he forgotten that? Why does he keep forgetting that? Stephanie is just a masque, a convenience, but certainly not himself. Loki sighs. His whole life before hadn't felt nearly as long as the last few years. 'If you explain all this to Thor..', she starts again.

'No.', Loki says, then swallows hard to get the lump out of his throat. 'You won't tell him a word.', he warns her without real malice. There isn't much he could threaten her with either way. 'I can't tell him, Jane.' His shoulders slump down. 'I don't want to see pity in his eyes. Maybe after I regain my body but in this mortal shell.. No, I can't.'

'Loki, there is no way of telling if that will ever happen.', she says slowly as not to upset him again.

'But I have to try.', His eyes hold the same passion they always had. 'I have to for him, for us. He certainly won't love this form.'

'Thor doesn't love you for your looks.', she reminds him.

Loki frowns. 'But he cannot love a mortal. He never would.' He shakes his head. 'He wouldn't believe me anyway. Hel, I don't even believe it and I fucking live in this nightmare. Maybe I am the copy, Jane. Maybe I am the echo.', he confesses quietly his worst fear as he turns the silver band entwined with the red rubies in his hand. Their promise is mocking him now. Jane eyes the empty hand warily but Loki merely smiles at the last good day he shared with his lover. The spell was the only thing protecting it from being taken from him like everything else but it had been too big ever since to wear where it belongs.

'Just talk to him, he will know it's you.'

'And the other me? Is he any less Loki than me?' He sighs. Truly, the other is himself at his worst but still him. The other one thinks himself the only Loki out there, for him Thor will also feel love and pity. 'I am afraid that he won't see what I see when he gazes at this.' He points at his ring he knows she can't see. 'That all I think I remember is truly just a lie.'

'It isn't', Jane simply states.

'How do you want to know?', he demands to know, not able to keep the hope out of his voice.

She merely shrugs. 'I just know. And Thor will know it as well.'

Loki sighs. 'It doesn't matter right now anyway.', he says after a while. 'But I really wonder if I would be capable of such horrors if somethings would have been different. If I could be the monster destroying Midgard and killing its people. Maybe that is me, my true face.' Brown eyes plead with Jane, with the universe itself, that this is wrong. He was never good enough for Thor and having seen himself at his darkest hour, though it wasn't really him, has proven everything right. Jane continues to rub soothing circles on his back.

If it wouldn't be for the heavy mortal shell he calls his body right now, nothing would have stopped Loki from jumping straight into his lover's arms. Finally the blond warrior had come. But the never-ending torture of not being what he is supposed to be is pulling him down. Loki cannot explain this to Jane, doesn't know how to tell her that this body he inhabits is a burden, a punishment he can't escape for a single moment. It seems to constrict him, suffocate him, kill him every day a little more till there will be nothing left.

The other him owns his real body, his immortality, took it from Loki and now uses it for his own objectives. Loki hopes he understands the process well enough to reverse it, but that hope is dwindling. His own death would maybe ensure that the other would die or at least turn back to his real self. Even if Loki would be able to kill the other one, there is a big chance that, without his immortality that still exists even if it is in another body, he would die because his soul would no longer be earthbound.

Thor must believe them that I have done such horrible things, Loki thinks. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. He will believe this is one of my wicked schemes to distract him by making him believe the strange woman could truly be me. And I can't even guarantee it isn't just like that.

'Loki, you need to believe in him. Thor will know you are yourself and that.. other part is just a small part of you. We have a saying here on Earth: Everyone carries something dark inside him, the only difference you can make is either you act upon it or you fight it. And thus far, Loki, you have fought it with everything you had.', Jane tells him.

'If the other Loki wouldn't have shown, Thor wouldn't have come. What good will changing back do if that is what he believes?' Loki shakes his head. 'He thinks me guilty, no matter if it's just a small part. I will know he thought me evil.' He doesn't know if he can forgive Thor for that.

'Calm down.', Jane nearly commands. 'Let them first catch him, then we can worry about the rest.'

Loki sighs. 'I don't know what will happen then. I am not sure if they can get their hands on him with Thor's help. He is me after all, he knows how to hide from Thor.'

'But they already found him once.', she interposes.

He snorts. 'You heard Tony, they didn't get him. That was nothing more than a public display of his powers. You saw the pictures, he wanted the world's attention and he got it.' When Tony had confessed that they hadn't captured the other him, Loki's heart had become heavy. He didn't even pose the complete question and Tony had already shook his head, taken any hope from Loki that might have come with the thought that Iron Man and Captain America might stand a chance against him somehow.

'But that's good for us. Now the whole world keeps looking for him.' Jane points out the bright side.

'As long as he doesn't touch them with his scepter and makes them his slaves.', he replies sarcastic. 'I need to find a way to find the Tesseract, he won't leave it alone until his tasks are fulfilled. I wouldn't, now that he has everything to build a portal. The iridium was the last thing.', Loki explains. 'If we can somehow grab a hold of the cube, he will still be a terrible threat but at least the Mad Titan will stay away a little while longer.'

He brushes away the last tears and takes a quick shower as Jane gets dinner for both of them. Tony asks over the intercom if everything's fine again and invites her to the lab in the morning before speaking with the others about Loki. They are all far too tired for lengthy discussions anyway now so they settled for continuing when Steph would feel okay enough to speak with them about what happened and what she knows. This would give her the whole night to focus and get used to the thought. He sounds worried and she knows, would she ask him, he would keep her company tonight. But the brunette merely agrees and promises to share her experiences with the group if it would help them.

'Okay. And don't worry. I got a great treat for you tomorrow.' Steph can tell that he grins like a child on Christmas morning. A small invisible smile cringes her eyes without her consent as she turns off the com and goes to bed.

xXxXx

Tony impatiently taps his fingers on the table as the responsible agents carry in the crate in which he himself put that wretched scepter right after they had captured the lunatic wielding it.

Dr. Banner sits at the second desk in the lab and eyes the process nervously. He hadn't seen it in action yet but when the crate opens and the blue light engulfs the faces of the ones hovering above it, he probably gets the idea. Tony finds himself reminded of the eery blue light the Tesseract emits as he watches them unwrap his present. Finally they place the weapon on the table by the window and leave the two scientists alone with it.

Since without data they cannot locate the cube, Fury had made it the highest priority to analyze the scepter. Jarvis had gathered some data that indicates that they have some sort of connection they could use to find the Tesseract.

'Wow. That's the thing he attacked you with?', Dr. Banner asks, tilting his head slightly to the side. He takes out his glasses to have a better look at the object.

'Yep.' Tony nods, eyes not leaving his prize. Oh, he knows he will have a lot of fun dissecting that thing and this time he can touch and fiddle with it to his heart's content.

'He's crazy. Like a bag full of cats.', the dark haired man says with resignation in his voice.

'You have no idea.', he agrees.

'Should we start, Mr. Stark?' There is a mad glint in his brown eyes which Tony likes. Something about the other man makes him instantly trust the Doctor.

'My friends call me Tony.', he informs him off-hand.

'We're friends? What if the other guy comes out to play?', he asks with a hint of concern. Tony had joked about it when they first met, apparently the quiet scientist wants to test the waters.

Tony chuckles. 'Oh, we will get along. I am more worried about Point Break and Spangles. I might accidentally shoot them if they continue their being stupid and born without a brain.'

Banner chuckles with him. 'Fine. I'm Bruce.'

'I have the feeling we will be good friends, Bruce.' He goes over to the man hiding behind his glasses and shakes his head. 'You should totally come and visit me in Stark Tower one day. After this is all over, that is.'

Bruce sighs. 'Well, then we should better get going.' Tony agrees and while Bruce gets the scanners, he takes up the stick and looks at it from all directions. Finally something to touch, he thinks pleased. It is heavy in the hand though not unpleasantly so. He gets why the Loki-guy didn't want to give it up. It feels as if it's vibrating but just really softly on the edge of his perception. The material is nothing he had ever seen before, it feels cool like metal and yet strangely alive, the tip makes it look like a weapon. The lunatic had fired blasts with it, he remembers and looks for a mechanism to trigger it but can't find anything on the smooth surface apart from the signs carved into it. The signs make absolutely no sense to him, they are not of any Earth language but then again the scepter isn't from here. The blue light is cold. Is this little thing really capable to enslave the hearts and minds of men? It seems so inconspicuous. If it wouldn't be for the bad feeling Tony gets as he holds it he'd call it harmless.

Tony remembers Steph's face when she talked about it and almost drops it in disgust. She will be happy it is now in safe hands. Bruce comes over with the radiation scanner and Tony puts the scepter back into the holder. Now that he can touch he doesn't want to anymore. They work in silence for some time, Bruce goes through the Tesseract data and files to compare it with this relic. The energy signature seems to be similar enough so they might write even an algorithm to find the blue cube with the help of the scepter.

Spangles joins them after some time to share his completely useless insight about Hydra weapons with them. Tony rolls his eyes. As if he hadn't thought about this already but the scepter is nothing like the weapons Spangles had fought.

'It is not powered by the Tesseract.' A soft voice explains. Tony looks around Captain Spangles to the door and spots Stephanie leaning on it. 'Knock, knock.' She smiles and steps into the room. She looks tired but still better than before.

'You made it.', Tony greets her with a matching smile. By now he had doubted she would come.

'Hope I don't interrupt anything.' Her eyes dart between the three men.

'Nope, nothing.', he replies with a smile.

'You must be Captain Rogers.', she addresses the man in the ridiculous outfit. 'Nice to meet you, I am Stephanie.' Spangles straightens and shakes her hand.

Bruce rounds the table. 'I am Bruce Banner.'

'An honor, Dr. Banner. I read all your publications.', she admits with a smile.

'We heard a lot about you as well, Miss Thatch.', Steve says.

She shakes her head. 'Just.. Just Stephanie, please.' Spangles seems uncomfortable but nods. 'I am sorry about yesterday.', Steph smiles apologetic. 'I saw Thor and it.. stirred something.' She looks down to the floor to evade their gazes, caught up in a memory no doubt.

'There is nothing to apologize for.', Bruce says immediately. She looks still down but nods.

'It won't happen again.' She sighs. 'So, how can I help? What were you doing?'

Steven immediately picks up their previous conversation. 'The cube probably powers the scepter.' Is that ignorant man never listening? Tony rolls his eyes again.

'Yes, you can really trust your eyes and ears, Steph.', Tony says hyperbolically. 'He is good for nothing except looking good. So, pretty boy, stand over there and let the adults talk.' Spangles opens his mouth to put Tony in his place but no words topple out. The slight blush on his face is balm for Tony's soul and at least it shuts the blond up. 'So, what did you mean it isn't powered by the Tesseract? There clearly is a connection.'

Finally Steph's gaze meets Tony's before dropping to the scepter on the table before him. Her eyes get wide. 'How did you come by that?', Steph asks in a whisper. She grows pale but there is something in her that radiates something else than fear. Anger and betrayal and insecurity pool in her eyes when she raises her gaze again.

'After the fight we took it from him.', Tony says to explain the situation.

'He gave it up free-willingly?', she asks with a frown but at least she visibly relaxes and curiosity comes to her face as she watches the scepter again.

'Well, I wouldn't say 'free willingly' but..'

Steph sighs. 'He will come for it.', she warns them half-heartedly because she knows they must be aware of that fact already.

'Let him try.', Spangles intervenes, apparently having found his voice again. 'How do you know about it anyway?', he asks after some moments. Bruce looks up and seems interested as well. Steph turns to Tony with a tilt of her head.

He raises his hands in defense. 'It's not my call to make. Your story, you decide what you tell them.' Of course Tony hadn't lost a word about it after she left their little gathering.

'Thank you.' She smiles. She doesn't want to be judged before they even got to know her and Tony understands that. Everyone he meets always knows everything about him already and even more, it is a burden and wouldn't be fair to put on her. She was hurting, she suffered and if she chooses not to mention it to anyone but her friends, who is he to judge that?

'You should probably just start when the others are around as well.' Tony offers when he sees her wary glance towards him. The other men agree, all had seen stuff they wouldn't want to talk about three hundred times.

'So, what was that about it not being powered by the Tesseract?', Bruce asks to regain her attention and distract her a little.

She shakes her head to clear it. 'The energy signature should be similar because they have a similar origin. But that's where it ends.'

Tony checks his systems while listening to her sharing what little additional scientific information she has about the Tesseract and the scepter. A few more hours. Tony smiles than turns back to the others. How long had he awaited to have access to one of SHIELD's mainframe to finally find out all about their secrets and what they've been hiding. Jarvis already cracked their main firewall and would need some time to decipher the encoded files but Tony is confident his AI will manage.

'Why were you working on the Tesseract project at all?', Bruce asks after typing furiously on the keyboard, probably writing down all the information given. 'Why is SHIELD working on it?'

'What do you mean?', Spangles interrupts his train of thoughts.

'Why is SHIELD in the energy business? I mean, the theory of a portal is nice but they were trying to access the energy the Tesseract holds. What for?', he muses as the typing stops. The thought truly just seems to strike him now.

'Finally someone asks the right questions.' Tony grins. At least he isn't the only one finding this strange though he thinks Steph would agree as well. 'Don't worry, Bruce. Jay will tell us in no time.' He had planted his hacking devise while everyone was still busy watching Thor after Stephanie's quick exit. It had been the perfect distraction. Steph glares daggers at him. Of course she disapproves. 'They are trying to hide something. I just want us all to have the same information.'

Capsicle stares at him with his mouth falling open. 'You can't do that!', he exclaims. Apparently even his ancient brain had caught up.

'Oh, stop it, Spangles. Even though you pretend, well, I don't think you are that dumb. Don't you want to know what they really want with it?' He had thought Spangles of all people wouldn't want the Tesseract to be misused again.

'That's not our call.', he claims but Tony sees the doubt in his eyes when America's sweetheart leaves the lab shortly thereafter. Good. SHIELD shouldn't be too sure their little team would just return the most powerful object that's currently on Earth without any assurances.

xXxXx

The computer runs the scans with the calibrated spectrometers and they have nothing more to do than wait for them to either find something or admit defeat with this method. Neither Tony nor Bruce believe that they will find anything for the Tesseract would have to be in the immediate vicinity of one of the devises, any distance of more than a few miles would be too far to get a clear reading. At least they would be able to rule out several places.

'Have you found anything?', Natasha asks when she strides into the room.

'No.' Tony almost poses it like a question. Like, seriously? Wouldn't they have already called the rest of the team to hurry via the intercom if there would be something to tell them? He has to refrain from grinning at the annoyed look on her face. At least she likes to work with him just as much as Tony does like it with her. 'We wanted to talk about our plans, didn't we?', he asks. A few minutes ago they had called all their new teammates down to the lab to use the time the calculations need to fill everyone in. Even Fury comes in after Romanov, just Spangles is missing. Tony shrugs. He could care less if the blond is sulking somewhere and wants to miss this briefing.

'How far are you?', Fury asks after taking a quick look over the drawn up screen.

'We're still working on the details but we wrote an algorithm to track down the cube should it be in the range of one of our instruments. Now all we can do is let it do its magic.' Tony claps his hands with a smug smile.

Fury gets his hint and looks at Stephanie. 'You ready for this?', he asks with doubt lacing through his voice.

She takes a deep breath but nods. She casts a wary look to Thor who smiles encouragingly. At least he has the sense to leave her alone this time and had stayed in the background.

The door bursts open when she is about to start and Spangles comes in, eyes blazing with fury as he almost throws the strange object he carries on the table, barely containing himself. Tony resists the urge to take one step back. He had never imagined the dear Captain to hold such anger inside him.

'What the hell is that?', the blond demands to know of Fury who looks surprised but not particular guilty. If Spangles already swears it must be something bad, Tony thinks, taking a closer look at what he had carried in.

'Where did you find this, Captain Rogers?', Fury asks calmly. The object of Spangles' agitation is made of metal and its use painfully obvious, confirming Tony's suspicions.

'You are secretly building weapon systems to use the Tesseract's energy?', Tony asks, still fighting the truth. He looks at Spangles with new respect as the blond shrugs.

'Your way was too slow for me.', he simply states.

'His way?', Romanov interferes. She positively glares at him.

'I don't like being lied to, Miss Romanov.', Tony points out with a shrug. 'You should know that best. So, yeah, Jay would have been through in a few minutes anyway. I'm already in the system.', he informs her. 'He is just looking for the right file.' Tony doesn't try to keep the smugness out of his voice as he crosses his arms and smiles serenely.

'That is none of your business.', Fury growls. 'We were just collecting all of the objects related to the Tesseract.', he says with conviction but the flicker of his eyes to the screen betrays him. Spangles huffs loudly.

'Really, Nicolas? None of my business?', Tony asks throwing his hands in the air. 'You made it my business!', he accuses. 'What were you thinking I'd do when I find out? Ask for a membership card of your club? There is a reason I stopped making weapons and now you drag me into this freak show of weapons of mass destruction! What do you need them for?'

'We need them because of them!' Fury points at Blondie who looks like he was struck by lightening. 'His brother made it clear Earth wouldn't stand a chance if just one other world would choose to attack.'

Thor shakes his head. 'My people mean you no harm. Building these weapons will just result in the other realms seeing yours as a threat.', he answers.

'Yeah, yeah, but that's not the point!', Tony interrupts. 'You can't just store up with mass destruction weapons and not tell anyone about it. Were you thinking I'd help you build them?' He can hear Romanov starting an argument with Thor and Cap about the necessity of being prepared.

'Stark, you were on the project so you would help save the world.'

'By storing such weapons right here? What if someone steals them and uses them against our planet?', he asks rhetorical. 'I don't do weapons anymore, Nicolas. Is that so hard to get?! You cannot guarantee they aren't misused like everything else!', Tony yells.

Fury glares at him. 'You were there so you wouldn't snoop! Okay? It was a distraction. Happy now?', he finally confesses the truth Tony had suspected all along.

'Not particularly.', he retorts.

The room soon enough is filled by angry voices, all trying to drown the others. Bruce backs Tony up because he doesn't want stuff more powerful than an atomic bomb lying around here, but the director of SHIELD insists on it all being necessary and for the good of Earth, making Tony want to claw out his eye.

'Shut the hell up!' She doesn't scream but it carries through the room nonetheless. Silence immediately falls over the group. Steph stands next to the lab table Tony had been working on (and when the hell had she got there?), completely forgotten over the discovery of the treachery of SHIELD, holding the scepter and glaring at them all. 'If I can sneak past you all, assembled in one room and just take the only thing that's right now needed by him to dominate this world, what makes you think you would have any chance to stop the army once it's here?' Steph turns to Fury. 'If this is the best you have, the Earth and millions of other worlds are lost. They will never work together as a team. You almost rip each other apart over something that petty. What does it matter right now? What if SHIELD build weapons?' She shakes her head. 'If you work together like that, Loki will have no trouble taking over this world because you do all his work for him. I had hope the mightiest heroes of Earth might be able to put aside their differences and stand together for something so much bigger. Thanks for bringing me back to earth.'

Her eyes seem to gleam red when she places the scepter back in the holder. She shakes her head and leaves when no one attempts to prove her wrong. All eyes are glued to her back as the words start to sink in.


	33. Chapter 32 Save Me

**So, I figured that the story of 'what the hell was that about Loki?' should definitely be told first, so, there you go.**

 **Okay, trigger warning. Mentions of torture and the like. So, proceed with caution. Furthermore, I hope you won't mind, I changed quite a bit about the story of the Chitauri and made it... well, I'd say more reasonable and within the MCU. I always had a problem with the Tesseract weapons so this is my try to remedy that illogicality (maybe it just exists for me..). Hope you enjoy!**

 **And thanks for the feedback for last chapter, I nearly had a heart attack. Phew. It's just nice to know people actually read this.**

 **Eleanroar, thank you for your review, it is much appreciated :3 I hope it wasn't too unexpected.  
**

* * *

Save Me

 _The measure of a man is not how he suffers in the test, but how he comes out at the end.  
Neal Shusterman, UnWholly  
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 _Approximately 1 1/2 years in Midgardian time prior..._  
The bright light engulfs Loki and he feels the familiar pull upwards as the Bifrost activates and carries him up home. He cannot wait to finally see his lover again, Heimdall probably called Thor and informed him of his impending return. After not having put up the shield again Loki does not doubt Heimdall had been watching him, if just to inform the All-father if he would come back.

He can almost see the vibrant blue eyes brimming with tears that he is back, feel the strong arms encircling him, hear him whispering words of love into his ear. Loki guesses his lover knows about him and accepts him being a Jotun. The time with Jane, Darcy and Eric had enabled him to accept himself and face now whatever awaits him back home. He had went away without a second thought, persuading himself that he is unwanted in Asgard, a monster and not worthy of the love he holds for Thor and his mother. But now he starts to see Odin's plan for him in front of him. As the prince of two realms he could bring both, peace and war, to Jotunheim and Asgard. He had never personally met his real father but he would certainly like to and be helpful for the negotiations, though he will not extort or pressurize Laufey just because Loki is his son. Loki doesn't want Jotunheim's throne, he always knew he would help his brother rule, just now maybe by his immediate side as king's consort or queen. The thought makes a smile appear on his face.

Something is off. Loki notices the small changes around him but can't place the magic and feelings tingling on the path the Bifrost creates, so he can't do anything. Never had he experienced something like this when traveling between realms. He would like to hold on to something but of course there is nothing to still his anxiety. The created bridge shudders and he almost catches a glimpse of the Bifrost when it begins to fade and the magic tingles more. Loki tries to teleport but it is not working.

Then he falls.

Space envelops him and presses his lungs together, suffocating him. He is not here and not there, sees everything and nothing. Worlds flash past his eyes but he can't escape the darkness pressing down on his chest. His body burns and his soul screams. Loki falls for what feels like years.

The physical stops existing and still tortures him. He is neither part of his body nor is he not. Clearly he feels the burning of his self though he is detached from his body, feels numb at the same time. He feels himself start to fade and something else worming its way into his thinking. All thoughts about his former life vanish in front of the incomprehension of space. It is overwhelming, starts to become part of him and slowly erase the Loki that was. He wants to die but something like death doesn't exist in a place like this, he longs for sweet oblivion and the ending of this torture. Every second feels like an eternity. Loki gives himself to the feelings and is tossed around this place, surrendering to his inability to do anything.

The cold slowly creeps into his consciousness. It's cold, Loki realizes. He is lying on the floor, covering his head, the cold bleeds through his clothes from the rough stones cutting into his skin. He takes a deep wheezing breath. The air is even cooler and foreign, but thankfully breathable. On a sudden impulse Loki gulps down as much air as possible now that he can do that again. His muscles start to tremble but he quickly gets them under control again after not having felt anything but fire for so long. Carefully he opens his eyes to take in the blank environment as no sound or smell reaches him.

The dim lights still blind him after spending an unknown time in complete darkness. Loki blinks furiously for a few times before his eyes adjust to the brightness. The black stone under him is the first that comes into Loki's line of vision. It shines with an inner light and glistens. The sharp surface is gleaming. From his position he spots several boulders like the one he currently resides on, all are smaller but also seem to float in midair.

As he catches his breath Loki sits up slightly, his muscles groaning from the sudden strain. He manages to raise his head enough to take in more of his surroundings. The sky above him is dark blue and sprinkled with stars and twirling galaxies he had never seen before. Loki frowns as he tries to figure out where he is. And especially why and how.

A sound like a chuckle comes from behind him. Little more than pure will power enables Loki to turn his head in the direction of the sound, making his vision blur for a moment from exhaustion. When he sees that he indeed is not alone but spots several figures standing around framed by the mysterious black stone, Loki summons his strength and slowly stands up to regain his composure. His whole body complains but he pulls himself together, his pride not allowing him to show this much weakness in front of unknown people, possibly even enemies.

Panting he manages to stand though his legs threaten to give out any moment now. Finally Loki raises his eyes to meet whoever may be greeting him. The floating throne is the first thing he notices, then the man occupying it. Though man is not the correct term. He has purple skin, a broad chin and dark eyes that are fixed on Loki. Furthermore the stranger wears a full body armor. The other people standing around cover their faces with masks and wear armor as well. Loki cannot make out what race they are of, neither can he make out the purple man on the throne. All he knows is that he is probably not within the nine realms anymore, but that much he already had deduced from the absence of known stars in the sky. Briefly he wonders if they know magic or if it is what Midgardians call science that keeps all floating without falling but he is too tired to pursue the thought. He needs all his current strength to stand so sending his magic out to find out about them is not negotiable. Something inside Loki stirs at the sight of the now smiling leader of this rock in the middle of nowhere.

Loki straightens his back and sets his face into a masque. The smirk of the purple man grows wider. 'My name is Loki, Prince of Asgard.', he says with as much confidence as he can muster.

'Welcome, Prince Loki.' His voice is deep and menacing. An involuntary shiver runs down Loki's back.

'Where am I? Who are you?', Loki asks, coming straight to business. He takes another look around and sways slightly, hoping against hope these strangers didn't notice. His knees still feel weak.

'My name is Thanos.', the stranger says meaningful. That something that had stirred before roars now. Apparently the purple man sees the recognition dawning on Loki's face and seems pleased about it. Loki remembers stories, foretellings, warnings and though the name is still unknown to him, he has no doubt that this is indeed the person known as the Mad Titan in front of him. Some horrible stories come to his mind, the end of all life being just one of them. Loki thinks there was something about an all-powerful weapon he possessed and tried to conquer the universe with it. But the parts where scattered before Thanos' time, being too dangerous to keep safe at their places in fear of the Mad Titan coming with force to get them. 'And this is my Sanctuary.'

Loki nods and tries to swallow the fear pooling in his throat. It is irrational, this is just a assumption. He has no idea who the man sitting on the throne is but he can't help but feel frightened. He sets his face so none of his emotions would betray him. 'I see. And where exactly would that be?' He raises one eyebrow. If he is not mistaken the throne is more than a fetish, rather a real display of his power.

Thanos smiles again. 'You are far from home, Asgardian. You have a long travel behind you. We will chat in the morning and all your questions shall be answered.' He motions one of his servants to escort Loki away, ending the short audience. Loki is clever enough not to contradict him and continue asking, instead he follows the servant quietly and with as straight a back as he can. Loki is lead to nearby buildings, hidden among the stones so he hadn't been able to spy them earlier.

Though he is treated with respect he doesn't fool himself. This was no invitation to stay the night and regain his strength. Food is brought to the small chambers he had been assigned and Loki starts to feel more like a prisoner than a stranger passing by. How had he come here? And why was Thanos not surprised? Just how long had he been here before he was brought before their leader? Loki can't remember.

Panic starts to seep through him when he realizes that there are guards positioned next to his door. Loki tries to reach out to his magic but feels it weak and barely usable. He reaches out with it and finds himself lost in a part of the universe he had hoped doesn't exist. He cannot teleport out of here, not when he doesn't know how far 'here' is from home. The air around him grows thick and though he is happy not longer to be caught in the void, he dreads what awaits him here. Will he be able to find his way back home, back to Thor? Loki lets himself drop on the bed after sniffing the food warily. He doesn't want to fall asleep but his fatigue wins and he drops of into restless dreams, followed by the void, Thor's rejection, the burning.

The morning comes with no change in light. Loki's apprehension grew over night and he has trouble composing himself properly. Now that his strength has at least partially returned he has time to think about what had happened and reflect on his experiences. His mind is still full of questions and pictures he doesn't know where to place. Something feels wrong, like he isn't quite himself anymore. He still feels the burning and the emptiness, the hopelessness, and fears that his sanity went away and he just imagines being here, where there is still hope he might get home and everything will be alright again once he sees Thor. He feels like a part was torn from him and stayed in space. Like something is lost. His brain refuses to work normal and the trembling of his hands won't subside. He can't wrap his head around the change. He practically almost gave in to Thanos wishes. He certainly would have never cowered before, Loki is a prince after all. But he is tired, worn out. All he can think of is crawling back into that bed and somehow magically end up in Asgard to finally rest, to find peace again. Will he ever find peace again?, he asks himself, staring straight ahead. Could he ever forget what he went through? What it feels like to fall and fall and being unable to do anything but wordlessly bear it?

He consoles himself with the thought that Thor is probably looking for him right now. It would take no time at all for him to get here, they surely can adjust the Bifrost once Heimdall caught a gaze of his new location. They are probably watching him right now, happy that he is well again.

He starts to pace the room and look up to the ceiling every now and then as if he could catch a glimpse of the keeper watching him. 'Heimdall.', Loki starts with a shaky voice. 'Can you.. would you tell Thor that I love him and will come back as soon as I can? I'll do anything in my power to come back to him.' He takes a deep calming breath though doesn't stop the pacing.

After what feels like an eternity, thankfully this time with light, there is a resolute knock on the door. 'Come in.', Loki says after some moments to find a proper pose to greet the guest. He opts for standing rather than sitting, making him look more intimidating. A tall stranger enters and bows slightly.

'Lord Thanos requests you joining him after you had some breakfast.', his voice is cold and impersonal.

Loki is impressed the All-Tongue works even this far from home. 'I am not hungry.' The faster he would find a way out of here the better.

'Very well. Then, please, Prince Loki, follow me.' He immediately steps into the hallway and past the guards still standing at his door. Loki follows somewhat reluctantly but soon enough walks with more confidence as the guards are behind him to keep an eye on him probably. They reach the Sanctuary and the minions bow before leaving.

'I hope you slept well and are rested.', Thanos says, his back turned on Loki, staring out into space.

Loki nods though he cannot see it. 'I am already feeling much better.' He doesn't thank his strange host though until Loki knows more about the motivation behind the simple gesture. He really feels better, at least in a physical sense.

'Good, that is good.', the purple man says more to himself than Loki.

'This is no chance meeting, I take it?', Loki asks, putting as much boredom into his voice as he can. The other man turns around with a smile and steps closer to Loki who had stayed exactly where the guards had led him. Loki knows this kind of men, they do just react to forwardness and don't like beating around the bush, so he opted for speaking his mind instead of a slower, more tactful approach.

'No.', Thanos doesn't even bother denying it. 'I saw you and just knew I had to get to know you. I sensed you could be a.. valuable asset, a perfect partner.' Slowly he circles Loki while he speaks, assessing him from all angles.

'Partner for what?' Loki tries not to shiver from the attention and keep his composure. A small frown still appears on his face. This doesn't sound good at all.

Thanos smirks. 'Well, that is up to you.'

Loki huffs and forces some royal annoyance into his voice. 'Stop speaking in riddles.'

The purple man looks him up and down. 'I knew there was a reason you fascinated me. You are right. I tell you my price, you tell me yours. I am sure we will come to an agreement.' Loki motions him to continue. 'I got you here from Midgard, as you call it.' Loki narrows his eyes. There had been nothing wrong with the Bifrost or him, Loki realizes. Thanos had caught him out of space like a bug in a glass. Had the long stay in between Midgard and here been planned or did something go wrong? Maybe it wasn't as long as Loki thought it had been. He controls himself, not wanting to lash out at the person responsible for his suffering but also powerful enough to just grab him out of the bridge created by the Bifrost and maybe bring him back. 'I require the retrieving of something residing currently on that planet.'

Loki nods to himself, not letting Thanos out of his eyes. 'And what would that mysterious object be?' He has the feeling he knows where this is going. It probably is not just some personal item lost by the purple man who commands legions. That much he had figured out about the 'Dark Lord' as his guards had called him when they thought Loki wouldn't hear them through the door.

'Something you know.' He waits with a conspiratorial glint in his eyes until it becomes clear that Loki won't bite. 'The Tesseract. My research indicates that it currently is on Midgard. I want you to fetch it for me.'

'And, pray tell, why would I do that?', Loki asks with a hint of annoyance.

Thanos smirks, pleased with himself. 'You could rule Midgard if you conquer it, I would lend you my forces. A planet for the cube. And from there it is only a short hop to your other realms.' His smile widens. 'You could finally be the king you were always meant to be.' Loki tilts his head slightly, eyeing him distrusting. Somehow this stranger knows a lot about him, or at least Thanos would like to think that. Loki decides not to question the methods he had used to acquire them.

'Let us pretend I would be interested. Why do you think I would be of any help? Why not simply take your force there and conquer it for your own purposes?'

Thanos seems to think about his answer. Loki remembers Odin talking about the mysterious cube, it apparently holds great power and belongs to the original six infinity stones. Loki knows it was left on Midgard and that he really can't let this unsavory character have it. 'You know Midgard better than any of us. And it is difficult to transport someone over such a great distance, not to mention a whole force. The cube can open a portal, if you can make it work, my force will be yours to command.'

'They take over Midgard. And then I turn over the Tesseract?', Loki asks for confirmation.

'Yes. I even would give you some assistance. A scepter worthy for a king. A scepter to find.. like-minded people.', he says ominously with a glint in his eyes.

'Why do you need my help?', the ravenette asks again.

Thanos tilts his head. 'We had no salvageable knowledge of the planet and what I knew proved wrong when I saw Midgard as it is today. We had enough energy for one transport over such a distance. So I had to choose. Send one of my agents without any help. Or find one who would know the planet and ways to travel and bring him here. I have seen you and your rage. I knew you would be the right choice.' The smile on the purple face unnerves Loki.

'And how should I come back?' He furrows his brow. He can't go home, that much he is sure of. He has magically no idea where he is nor how he could possibly find a way back.

'You are clever, you will find a way with the new powers I will bestow upon you.' Loki chooses not to question those powers and their origin. 'I will grant you knowledge of the cosmic energies. That is how I got you here.' He pauses for a moment to see Loki's reaction which Loki doesn't grant him. His suspicions are confirmed but there is nothing to do about it just yet. 'I would like to show you our forces. You will find that they are more than suitable for taking over Midgard and those humans.'

Loki nods and Thanos leads him down some stairs to something similar to a big ship, lodging underneath Thanos' isle of isolation. He is too smug when they enter it through the big hangar doors. Loki's eyes widen as he sees the.. he has no idea what exactly he sees there. It looks like giant whales clad in armor and weaponry and they float in midair. Their growling sends vibrations through Loki's body. First he thinks they are just machines before sensing their life force.

'Those are my Leviathans.' He smiles about Loki's expression. Some people in armor are fixing the plates of the metal surrounding those beasts. 'They are living here but now my Chitauri are preparing them for war.' Loki has no idea what those people are nor does he want to.

'How did you know where to look for the Tesseract?', he asks to gain time.

Thanos chuckles. 'Look closely at my legions. Some years back my first scouts reported strange energy signatures. Such as I was looking for. Humans appeared apparently out of nowhere and the special energy followed them. They were collected for me and brought here so I could find out what there was about them. The Tesseract has a very special signature, impossible to mistake.' Thanos laughs. Loki's stomach threatens to turn when he guesses where this goes. 'They were fools enough to try to create weapons with it. So I knew that the powerful weapon probably still resided on that planet where they came from. I persuaded them to tell me everything there is to know about their homeworld. But when I started watching Earth I found it had changed quite a bit and their information were outdated.'

'They are humans.', Loki states, hoping his voice won't betray his shock.

'Genetically and technically enhanced.' Thanos seems pleased about the fact. 'My people spend quite some time to perfect them. I hate to waste some raw materials and they were already suitable for attacking Midgard. Now they are perfect. I might say Midgard send us their own downfall.' His dark smile deepens and there is again that strange glint in his eyes.

Loki thinks he might be sick. Torture probably was part of the ordeal those men or women had to get through, not to mention the travel through space. He sees the energy surging through their armor. What the Hel is this all about? 'And now you want my help to get them to Midgard.'

'That is my offer, Prince Loki.'

'Offer? Actually you planned this out till the last detail. It seems less like an offer and more like an order.', Loki looks around again. Thanos eyes him warily.

'What does it matter? We both get what we want. You get home and a world on top of that. And I get the Tesseract.'

'You want me to sell out a planet so your army can wreak havoc on it for a crown on my head? I fear I have to decline.' If Loki would sell out even one planet he would truly be the monster he claimed himself to be. And it is not just the fate of one planet. Thanos will use the cube to reach every corner of the galaxy to enslave it. Thor would never do that, he always made the good choices. It is time Loki starts to do the same. Thor would hate him otherwise, something Loki truly would not be able to bear.

Thanos scowls. 'I had hoped you to be more reasonable.' Before Loki has time to react a large purple hand curls itself around his neck and squeezes, yanking him towards the big man standing now in front of him. 'Do you not think I have my ways of dealing with disobedience?', he growls nearly like an animal. 'You will serve me. Or you will die.'

Loki forces a mocking smile on his face. 'Well. That doesn't leave me with much of a choice.' An inhuman snarl leaves Thanos when he hurls him across the hangar. The last thing Loki remembers is a dull pain splitting his head when he hits something that stops his sliding across the floor. Darkness takes him again.

xXxXx

The darkness doesn't change when Loki opens his eyes again, the only thing that changes is the pain that sets in the second he awakes. His whole body throbs with the dull ache and his head threatens to split in two. Several hours must have passed though since Thanos challenged him. Loki slowly tries to stand but his legs give out and he slides back to the ground. The long fall had exhausted him greatly and the tossing hadn't helped his body regain its strength neither.

Loki tries to access his magic, panicking when he doesn't feel anything anymore. Are these still the effects of his time before arriving here and his brain still messing everything up? His head feels more fuzzy than before and his memories blur slightly. How long had he been in here? Hours, days? Loki feels alone and lost, Asgard seems farther away than ever. The darkness unnerves him but without magic there is no way to bring light. Shivering he sits up against the wall he feels in the dark.

Almost he regrets not taking up Thanos offer and trying to double-cross him. But he would not have forgiven himself for even thinking about it. And a powerful being like the Mad Titan probably has ways to know if he is lying or not and Loki is too tired to fake complete obedience.

A bright light blinds him momentarily. It comes from the ceiling and the hall outside of his cell he now sees through some bars. The dull stamping of feet reaches Loki's ears and three of Thanos' guards come into his line of sight. He doesn't know why but he backs against the wall, away from them. The sounds those creatures make sound like mocking laughter. They drag him out of the cell because he has not the strength to walk alone though his pride would usually not allow him to act this disgraceful.

When they arrive in a small side chamber after a walk through the long icecold corridor the first thing Loki notices is the flat low table with bonds to keep the person strapped to it down. Loki draws a deep breath when he is shackled to it, his eyes drifting to the tools lying nearby, their purpose painfully obvious. He forces the tremble down and a smile to appear on his face. He won't show them fear, no, he would not give them that satisfaction.

'Have you changed your mind, Asgardian?' The purple man strides into the room with a smile on his face. Does he truly believe one night in a dungeon would break the trickster? Loki huffs.

'I am not a coward, Thanos.', he answers. 'I am not afraid of a simpering dastard like you.' A smirk lies on his face as he watches Thanos' face darken.

'Well, I shall remedy that.', he threatens and turns around to take one of the knives. 'Don't waste your time trying to use magic. I already made sure you won't be able to.', he says smugly as he turns back with a dark smile. Without preamble the knife is embedded in Loki's lower abdomen. The pain is hot and sharp but fortunately he has enough control of his expression as to not let Thanos see that. The disgusting sound of blood sloshing on the ground is overheard by Loki as his blood rushes through his ears.

'Tell me about Midgard's defenses.', Thanos demands.

Loki forces himself to laugh. It sound maniac and breathy. 'I fear you have to try harder than that.', he says, still laughing. With a roar of fury the knife cuts through his skin again and again. Keeping in the pain becomes easier when laughing that hysterical laugh and mocking Thanos the best he can. Now that he started to let out the madness swirling through his mind, he can't keep it at bay.

'Get him out of here.', Thanos growls after innumerable questions about Midgard and Asgard and the Tesseract, everything that comes to his mind. Apparently the Titan grows tired of Loki's defiance. He would make Thanos work to get one sound over Loki's lips, for him to make one complaint or noise of pain. They have to drag him back to the cell and Loki collapses the second the supporting hands let go of him.

The darkness is ever-present. After that first depressing time in the torture chamber Thanos just returns a handful of times. Loki infuriates him. Though he had stopped his laughing he shows no obvious signs of caving in. The pain they inflict on him actually helps Loki to focus and keeps him grounded. His mind wants to float away and give in to insanity clawing at his brain but as long as he has something to fight for, Loki can force himself to cling to the painful sanity.

But physical torture had not been the only thing those creatures had come up with. Loki is quite sure the strange devise which looks like a scepter is the 'assistance' Thanos had offered him. Magic radiates from it, he can feel that though his magic is still bound. Those sessions are far more draining than any amount of physical pain they can inflict upon him.

Again and again he goes over the memory of Odin taking Sleipnir away from him, relives the moment of finding out about his origins, he revisits his made-up imagination of Thor finding out about it and finding Loki repulsive. He goes through that moment so often, he can't clearly remember at times if it really is just in his head or if it really happened. Still he refuses to give in, refuses to give them one inch of ground.

Just when he is alone Loki allows himself to break down and indulge in self pity. He fears the effects the scepter may have on him and that one day they will break his defenses without him knowing or realizing. There are few things he clings on in these moments. When he first realized that he wasn't just having bad dreams because of obvious reasons but that they were behind it, Loki had erected mental defenses, especially keeping all of Sleipnir and Thor behind the strongest walls his weak mind can build, then everything he deems worthy of knowing about Midgard and the other realms is filed away in the depths of his mind, so that none of the information would be extracted from him without a big fight.

In his weakest moments Loki brings Thor to his mind, clings onto his memory. He doesn't know how long he has been gone from Asgard but he believes in his big brother. Thor will come here, somehow, and rescue him. He will save Loki. He always found him. Always saved him. Thor would also this time. He would know Loki needs his help. Any second now Mjolnir would smash the door in and Thor would come in and carry Loki out of here, then destroy Thanos and this whole damn nightmare. Loki knows it won't happen but he can't help but to hope. Please, Thor, he begs quietly in the dead of the night or when the pain is unbearable and they left him alone after he fainted from it and hadn't discovered he awoke again. His brother would save him, he would never leave him with these creatures. He gave up on you a long time ago, the traitorous voice in the back of Loki's head whispers occasionally.

Loki sets his jaw. He promised Thor to come back, so surely not even if he had to fight through all of Thanos' forces alone would Loki give in until he would see the summer sky blue eyes again and fall into Thor's warm embrace.

xXxXx

Loki cowers on the ground, not finding the strength to sit up properly when Thanos walks past his cell to check on the progress. Long hair covers Loki's face so the purple man would not see the tears shining in his eyes. His hands tremble and there is nothing he can do about it.

'Fascinating, the effect, isn't it?', Thanos asks taunting, standing in front of the cell door. His arms may be crossed but smugness radiates from him. He relishes in Loki's miserableness.

The ravenette presses his lips to a thin line when some tears spill over. He feels pathetic and weak, weak like he never felt before in his life. Formerly he had felt his magic being suppressed by Thanos, now there is just that meek spark and Thanos wants to diminish that as well. In all his time being strapped to that table Loki had never felt this powerless.

'Just say the words and everything will be undone.', Thanos offers with a sick smile. 'You hate this.'

Loki shivers. 'Do you believe I would just give up because of this?' He motions at his weak body. His white skin is covered in scars and wounds, dried blood and dirt clings to it. The rags they had offered him just hang down on his haggard body. 'Just because I am mortal?', he scoffs. 'You just took your last resort. Why would I cooperate with you now?' His voice is hoarse from the long time of not using it for anything else than to scream. Still, it is more airy than before and more feminine. The long brown hair is now wiped away from the human woman's face whose body Thanos has forced upon Loki to inhabit. He had sealed away Loki's magic and shape-shifting after using it to create this mortal shell in a desperate attempt to get him to do as Thanos wants. Loki can't change back, he can't do anything but suffer the humiliation and pain that comes from the transition. What Thanos did with his immortality, the power behind it, Loki doesn't know and doesn't care about. How he had been even able to take it is a mystery to him as well. All Loki knows is that he is trapped in this mortal human body and has no means to change back.

Maybe they would now let him die in relative peace, now that they took the last of his hopes from him. Thor would not recognize him and he would not be able to travel in the mortal body. There is no way out of here, in no scenario he can think of Loki gets out of their grasp alive. Maybe that is the reason behind this all. To get rid of him and use his magic to draw someone else in. There is no hope left and Loki accepts this. That doesn't mean he would let go of his life without a fight, without defying the maniac in front of him till his last breath. He wouldn't give in, never. Thanos had just given him all the more reason to hate him now and not give him any information.

In his fury Thanos kicks at the door with a howl of pure rage. He regains his composure as something crosses his mind. 'You will give in, Asgardian. You already did, you simply don't know it yet.' His laughter is manic. 'That was your last chance, Loki. You think I can't take everything from you?' He huffs. His words send shivers down Loki's spine but he refuses to look away as Thanos marches away. What his ominous words had meant, Loki doesn't dare to think about.

They can't torture him like before in this new body, not if they don't want him dead within an hour at least. The Chitauri can still inflict pain on him to try to make him do Thanos' bidding though the true torture is and will remain the most painful thing they can do. Loki's very soul screams for release, being caught in a body it was not created for. It makes the physical agony all the more pronounced, knowing this isn't him and still feeling it, it is wrong. His body isn't supposed to be like this, his body goes against this transformation. Loki is repulsed but they simply refuse to let him die, though what sense does this transformation make otherwise, what reasoning would be behind it if not to give him a last chance to give in before finishing what they started?

Thanos again tries to access Loki's mind again with the scepter but his mental defenses hold despite the different shell the information are in. Thanos' and the scepter's magic work differently from his own. His despair grows when Thanos nevertheless looks like the cat that got the cream and leaves him alone with nightmares. Not that those would now not return every single night. Though they starts to be the second worst about the nights. The darkness presses down on him but the cold is depressing and wearing him out. At night he lies on the ground, shivering uncontrollably. His true nature had always kept him warm, especially in Asgard but also here though it is cooler here. This body does not keep him warm and for the first time Loki knows how truly paralyzing the cold can be. The ice creeps into his body and settles as a constant chill in his bones not even the burning hotness of pain can't fully drive out.

They feed him more now to keep him alive and though Loki would like to die, he won't give them the satisfaction of showing even more weakness than necessary. Furthermore, to keep up the mental barriers he will need whatever strength he can get to continue fighting Thanos' attacks. So he forces the food down, accepts the fatigue and sleeps though he doesn't want to, all so they would not win. It is just a matter of time now before he grows too weak to fight them, Loki had already given in to the physical torture, but a desperate resolution had taken its place in his heart. They won't take his family away from him, never, and he would find a way to protect them and if he must die for that, so be it.

xXxXx

Loki wakes up with the feeling of being watched. A dark figure stands in the hallway, watching him attentively. Loki almost refuses to acknowledge the presence of the man but his gaze unnerves him. Something makes him pull himself together to see more than just the boots clearly and sit up a little instead of lying on the floor. Loki leans on the wall when the stranger notices he is awake and the light comes alive to reveal them to each other. He had almost forgotten about the creepy smile of Thanos with all the horror he has on his mind, with all the pain he has to endure, but it comes rushing back to him in an instant when he looks up completely and his eyes land on a familiar and at the same time strange figure, looming over him despite the distance. Black hair hug the pale face with the high cheekbones, his formerly green eyes pierce the mortal lying on the ground. His hands are clasped behind his back and a predatory smirk Loki often enough saw in the mirror is now directed at him. Loki recognizes his own face leering at him.

'What are you?', Loki says to the strange mirror-inverted version of himself.

He tilts his head to the side. 'I am Loki, the exiled king of Asgard and the future king of Midgard.' Loki is overwhelmed by the urge to faint which has nothing to do with his physical weakness. His words get struck in his throat. 'Why is Thanos so interested in you?', his mirror inquires after some moments in which Loki just stares blankly at him.

The brunette frowns. First he had said with conviction that he'd be Loki and now doesn't know who he is? He must think himself the original version of him and not remember what has happened here, Loki thinks. Thanos must have done something to him, used his shape-shifting to create this now immortal body. Loki doesn't doubt for a second that this is where his magic and powers have gone.

The Loki in front of him scowls when he gets no answer out of what he thinks is a weak human woman defying him. Magic cracks outside of the cell. Loki recognizes it as his own, just this time it is directed at him. 'Answer me, mortal.'

'My Prince.' A dark voice interrupts the display of power and the other's scowl deepens. There is a glint in Thanos eyes when he strides to the self-proclaimed king while his eyes are fixed on the still sitting form of Loki who tries to wrap his head around what is happening. 'Why don't you talk to my adviser? He has something he wants to show you.'

Reluctantly the other Loki turns around, his steps echo through the hallway. 'How do you like him?', Thanos asks when he is gone, smiling serenely.

Loki hoists himself up further. 'What have you done?', he demands to know.

'Nothing that isn't what you did yourself.' Thanos smirks, pleased with himself. 'I haven't done anything. I cannot get you to give me the information I require, but you don't need them. Your mind and your rage were what made you interesting for me. And you, my dear Prince, gave me exactly what I needed to direct that rage in the right direction.'

Loki frowns. 'I haven't given you anything.'

'But of course you have. You didn't want me to see your little lover, you pulled that love along with all information in so I wouldn't get to it. That left the rest of you, everything I wanted, vulnerable. He is an exact copy of you, minus what you weren't willing to give.'

'He is nothing like me!', Loki forces out through his teeth.

'Oh, he is just like you.', he contradicts the brunette. Minus all his love, his devotion, all the good in his life, Loki thinks bitterly. He almost chokes on his emotions. Without his love for Thor, jealousy would have consumed him centuries ago. For a long time he had believed he'd hate his brother before Loki discovered that he loved him back. Without his love for Thor and Sleipnir, Loki would be no one He guesses his copy doesn't know about his son which can be a disadvantage. The other Loki would not hesitate to kill him should they meet. And Sleipnir would not evade this shadow of his existence because how would his son be able to tell the difference to him having gone mad and that perversion? Thanos hadn't found out about Sleipi either, and that is good, that means he is safe for now. Loki dreads what powers the Mad Titan would have mobilized to get the talented shape-shifter here to get both, mother and son, working for him. The threat of Sleipnir's security surely would have broken him.

'King Loki didn't object my plans at all.', Thanos continues with a grin. 'He was thrilled to get the chance to infuriate and beat his brother by taking over his favorite world.'

The brunette jumps up and glares at Thanos through the bars. 'You won't touch Thor.'

'Or what?', he mocks. 'He is a better version of you, accept that. As soon as I got what I want, I will even be generous enough to let you go.' His smile widens. 'Over the cliff of my Sanctuary.'

With a mad laugh he leaves Loki alone, cursing and raging, mobilizing all his strength to keep shouting for him to come back, to yell threats after Thanos until his voice is hoarse and he breaks down because his legs won't support him any longer. He touches his face and finds tears wetting his cheeks.

Thor, please, he begs when he lets himself break down. When the crying somewhat subsides cold determination takes hold of Loki. He has to get out of here, and he will.

The chance for escape does not come for another few weeks. The torture doesn't happen daily anymore, they got what they want from him, took everything there was to take and backed him into a corner. Still, his old wounds just close slowly and they inflict enough new pain to keep him weak. Loki collects his strength, tries to meditate and not sleep that much to activate his magic as soon as they lower their guard. He knows this body won't take much, he has the knowledge of great magic but not the possibility to perform it without risking his life.

Apparently the other Loki had insisted on meeting that infuriating mortal. More and more often he stands in front of the cell when no one else is around to just stare at the brunette and try to figure out his fascination. Loki doesn't speak to the silent observer, just makes sure not to meditate when he is around so he won't sense the graduate change in his powers as they had stopped the magic suppression or at least lowered the rate. Loki in this new form apparently no longer poses a threat.

In the morning they drag Loki out as usual but instead of leading him to the right as each day, they take the hallway to the left in the direction of the exit.

The stars shine brightly overhead as he follows the guards to the place where he originally awoke. His gaze is drawn to Thanos who sits on his throne and looks grim, before landing on the dark figure with a golden horned helmet on his head. The other Loki lurks in the shadows and glares at him for good measure. Thanos is against this meeting, Loki realizes and starts to draw his magic to himself. He hadn't regained as much strength as he'd like but he sure would rather risk death than stay here and be responsible for the destruction of a planet. Some time ago he had started to feel for a very special energy signature and is now willing to take the risk in pursuing it. Who knows if he'll ever get the chance again?

The other comes closer and the guards fall back to hold Loki up by his arms. Some steps away from him, the copy stands still and eyes him. He can't quite wipe the satisfaction from his face, Loki notes with glee. He nods to the guards to let go of their prisoner and steps even closer to examine him. Loki weaves his minor magic while struggling to stay upright.

'Who are you?', he asks, tilting his head.

'Your worst nightmare.', Loki answers automatically to gain some time.

The other laughs with mockery. 'I have a difficult time believing that.' He grins like a beast. Madness shines in his blue eyes. He had been right about the insanity filling his mind, being torn from his body and remembering just the bad that has ever happened. He wants revenge and power.

Suddenly Loki lunges himself at the copy of him and grabs hold of his forearms. His spell seems to work as he feels his own magic and the slightly different of the other Loki surge through him, fill him with energy and purpose. He doesn't have enough energy to kill neither Thanos nor his copy, but maybe just enough to be of any use. The blue eyes widen and panic enters them as he doesn't know how to fight Loki's spell. He is too shocked to even draw back.

'See you in Hel.', he whispers before vanishing in a wisp of smoke, following the weak trace of his capture by Thanos.


	34. Chapter 33 The Merchant Of Death

The Merchant Of Death

 _Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.  
Rosa Luxemburg_

Stephanie hastens out of the room and as Thor looks around, he finds equal sheepish looks on all the present faces. He knows that she is probably right, he himself also had pointed out that his brother is not to be underestimated, and divided they would not stand a chance. Still he is not happy for being just told off, no matter how necessary it was. She reminds him of times when Loki scolded him for his thoughtless actions.

The others apparently feel the same and one by one draw back with various excuses to cool down. The last words about the matter of the weapons and the war have not been spoken yet but the victim of his brother yelling at them had maybe given all a new perspective of things. She possibly is the most reasonable of them all though she has the least reason.

Thor is the last one to leave the two scientists who continue their work even though their minds seem equally occupied. He walks slowly through the seemingly endless corridors and past the countless doors back to where he believes his personal chambers lie. For a second he had almost believed to see the eyes of the defying woman turn red. There is something about her Thor cannot place. Magic hums around her, that much is sure. But maybe it is just excess magic of Loki if they truly met and his brother touched her with his essence. What Stark said about the woman, though it were merely hints, makes Thor's heart ache. Her personal fate touches him, if just because he partly blames himself for what Loki did to the poor thing.

Still, the way she spoke unnerves Thor. The files he had read about her said her and Loki's mind touched somehow through the scepter he carried. But is that truly all there is about her? She certainly didn't look like a woman who had just seen his brother's memories of him, then again, she might have thought Thor is there to help him. Or maybe Loki's hate of him had paralyzed her for a moment.

Thor distracts himself from the real problem at hand. It matters little what the mortal's problem is, there is nothing he can do about it apart from keeping her safe from his brother.

Does he really hate Thor? It seemed like that when they spoke and how he acts around him. Thor can't show him how much his words had hurt to hear. Can he live with the only person whose love he prizes above all glaring at him, despising him, wanting to see him broken? ' _You pushed me into your shadow, let me rot in darkness and got all the light and glory for yourself, golden son of Asgard.'_ Loki is alive, that is exactly what Thor had wanted for the last more than two years. Is this the price? His lover's sanity? Don't his words ring true nonetheless? Thor had always been the more favored of them, even he had realized that at an early age. Has Loki gone mad or finally seen what a bad brother Thor had been? His stomach almost turns at the mere thought alone.

But he is alive, Thor reminds himself. No matter the changes which he went through, Sleipnir will grow up with at least one parent still alive. What Loki would choose regarding Thor is a different matter entirely. The blond still can't help but praise the Norns that at least Loki's life is not ended, cannot help but be happy that his love still lives and breathes. And though it pangs his heart he will accept Loki's choice.

But is he alive?, he asks himself. He is no longer the Loki of old, seems to have forgotten all they shared. His memories are tainted and Thor wonders if that is just temporarily because it doesn't seem that way. His Loki was never this violent or ruthless. Is it still his Loki in there or has something else taken a hold of him?

Thor finds his way back to the headquarter instead of his rooms. Settling into a chair Thor continues his brooding while watching a live video of his brother. Loki idly sits on the bench in his bare cell and seems bored rather than concerned. What is your game, trickster?, Thor asks silently. Loki doesn't give away anything but at least from the distance the changes which have incurred in him are not visible to Thor and the blond can pretend for a while that there is not a lost creature sitting alone in the cell, plotting how to destroy this planet and his former lover.

Maybe he'll come around, Thor thinks desperately but he knows it is pointless. Loki wants to be here, just for what reason he cannot fathom. Thor just knows he has an ulterior motive.

The blond remembers the ghastly blue eyes, standing in stark contrast to their usual emerald. Had the time in the void done that to him or is something else the reason for his change?, he questions again. Did that Mad Titan guy have something to do with this or did Loki ally with him after he changed this drastic?

The red haired woman enters and sits down at the table on the opposite side as Thor. Her green eyes are fixed on him and he reluctantly looks away from Loki who had started pacing. Something is about to happen, he can tell from his brother's demeanor.

'Do not fret, Lady Natasha. I am on your side, I assure you.', he says if just to disarm her hard gaze.

'It's probably hard to see your own brother in prison.' She tilts her head but her eyes don't leave Thor for a second.

'More so. But he has a price to pay for the lives he took, I know that. As much as I hate it to see him like this, he needs help. And I am not sure I can give it.' Thor swallows. 'I love him most dearly, but he is not in his right mind. He is not the brother I grew up with.'

'He brings war to us. We must stop him.', she says as if to clarify her position and see how far she can push him.

He sighs. 'I know. That doesn't mean my heart can't be heavy. But I promised I would protect Midgard from his madness. And that I will do.'

Natasha nods as if she expected to hear that but is glad for the confirmation nonetheless. 'Fury wants to speak to him about the Tesseract.'

'Loki won't tell him. I would offer myself but I fear I would make it worse. His madness seems to worsen every time I am around.' He looks down as guilt pools in his stomach pit. He shouldn't have given up on Loki so easily back then and should have insisted on looking for him, especially after his son had told Thor that he could still live. Maybe then all of this would have never happened. 'If I would believe he would be responsive to your interrogation methods I would accept them.'

'Most think they can refuse pain until it begins.', Natasha says with confidence. Thor shakes his head before she even finished.

'I got a glimpse of what he went through. I have faced battle and pain in the past but that..' A shiver runs down his spine. 'I had still hope in my heart. He just knows hate and vengeance. Loki has something to die for, something in the back of his mind. He will rather lay his life down than to give in.'

Her gaze flits to the cell on the screen and she studies the ravenette pacing up and down for a while. When Fury enters the scene she quickly taps some buttons on the table but another dark haired female comes in. 'He wants us all to hear.', she says as she strides to the main controls and the speakers above them come to life.

'I've been waiting for you.', Loki's voice sounds over the speakers. On the screen he steps closer to where the dark man approaches the cell. His hands are clasped behind his back and a sneer fixed on his face.

Fury ignores the ravenette and steps to a control panel on the side. 'In case it's unclear how this works, if you so much as scratch that glass,', he presses some buttons on the panel and a hatch opens beneath the cage Thor's brother is held captive in.'it's 30.000 feet straight down in a steel trap.' Fury closes the hatch again and the rushing of the wind dies down. 'Ant meet boot.' It pains Thor that Loki is kept in such a prison with certain death or at least grave injury waiting underneath his feet but he does not doubt Loki could get out of there whenever he wants. Teleporting away is within the limits his abilities. The cell is surely not magic-proof given how much they know about the workings of it. So why is Loki still here?

'Impressive.', Loki admits. 'Not build for me, I believe.' His smile widens. Thor knows he probably speaks about the calm Dr. Banner downstairs for he had seen the files about him but that he is insinuating that they would put their friend in there and let him fall to his sure death is ridiculous. The director's face tells him another story entirely.

Fury scowls some more than when he entered and mimics Loki's posture on the other side of the glass wall. 'What do you want here, Loki?', he asks without much of a preamble. Thor does not doubt he has been watching the ravenette these past day.

Loki merely smirks. Thor cannot count how many times he had seen that dangerous smirk turned on some adversary whom he was about to crush, either by words or actions. 'I assume your dear heroes already found out about your little plans with the Tesseract, have they not? Otherwise you wouldn't be here yet. You're desperate.', he mocks.

'You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can't control, you kill because it's fun. You made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.', Fury threatens.

Captain Rogers comes in. He is agitated and looks distressed about what probably the whole flying fortress can hear. Without a word he sits down and stares at the screen, fire blazing in his eyes.

'There are higher goals to be reached so sometimes making sacrifices is necessary.', Loki says with a smile. 'I am willing to make those. Even if you aren't.' What sacrifices does he speak about?

'Sacrificing human lives for your crazy ideas is not acceptable.'

'And who will stop me? Your group of misfits?' He laughs. It drives shivers down Thor's spine. The darkness and madness radiates from his beloved. 'How did they react? Not so well, I assume. They will bite each others heads off.', he gloats.

'No. They have a common enemy now.', Fury tells him.

'That won't change a thing.', Loki brushes off. 'I will set humanity free. No more wars, no more struggle. Everything you always wanted to achieve.'

The director moves his arms and crosses them in front of his chest. Anger bubbles up in him, that much is apparent. 'I believe in freedom.'

'There is no such a thing. But I understand your confusion. I needed more than one millenia to realize the truth. Some people are meant to be ruled.' Loki grins.

'And you want to rule them, brother?', Thor mutters darkly. There was a time when he believed his brother would make the far better king and he himself would never be able to rule without Loki at his side. Loki is too emotional right now, but not passionate in the right way.

'Where is the Tesseract?', Fury asks again, being slightly uncomfortable in Loki's presence. Maybe it's something in his stance, maybe his too mask-like face but Thor can tell he gets nervous so he knows Loki had seen it too.

'You still want to use it, right? It irks you to have come so close and now your price is snatched away from you. How much do they hate you for keeping its true purpose away from them? What do they think of being used like that? Especially the Man of Iron seems particularly against weapons if my little bird was correct. What did he say that he produces some again?' He laughs hard. 'You take the freedom of the mortals by forcing your own war upon them. How are we any different? You want just the same as me. Control. And you will do anything to regain it. You are afraid, Fury. What has Thor promised you? To safe your world from me? He can't even guarantee his own safety, much less yours. Your world will burn and your heroes tear each other apart after ridding themselves of you. You will never have real power, mortal.', he hisses. His speech had gone from light mocking to hateful and angry predictions at the end.

'Well, tell me when real power wants a magazine.' With that Fury turns around and the transmission ends. Thor sees how Loki sits down with a smile before the picture vanishes with a twitch of Natasha's fingers.

Jane and Stephanie enter the room and sit down at the table. Stephanie's face is an unreadable masque. She seems to be pondering over some decision. Thor can't begrudge that she refused to see Loki utter these death threats.

'He is mad.', Steven says after some moments of silence. Otherwise he seems to be lost for words like everybody else.

'But he is right.', Natasha says. 'If we don't work together, he has already won.'

'You can't build weapons with the Tesseract.', Steven intervenes. He crosses his arms.

'It just signals the other worlds that you are ready for a higher form of war.', Thor confirms.

'And what when others come here to us and threaten this world? How are we supposed to defend ourselves?', she demands to know.

Thor sighs. 'Asgard will always stand with Midgard. But I understand. You don't want to be vulnerable.' Natasha nods. 'Still, we need to put this quarrel for now aside. You are right, if we do not stand together, he will use every crack between us to divide us. I know his schemes.'

Steven sighs and looks down. 'I.. accept your explanation though I do not agree. There are better ways than an arms race.', he tells Natasha. He takes a deep breath. 'But for now it doesn't matter. Stark will probably settle this matter once the threat of the Tesseract is banned. Truce for now?', he offers the woman.

'Yes.'

'This matter isn't settled yet.', he warns her again.

'I know it wasn't the best call, but our only possible protection.', she defends herself and the actions of her leaders.

Thor looks to the now blank screen. 'You got yourself a team, Lady Natasha. We will protect this realm.'

'That's why we are here. Fury was always doubtful if we would not one day use these weapons against our own race.', she admits.

Silence settles in the big room, just the people around them tapping away on their keyboards.

'What else did he do?' For the first time Thor asks for the deeds of his brother. He had heard from Heimdall about his arrival but after the initial introduction he had not found the courage to ask for confirmation. He has to know.

Natasha seems to know what he speaks about as she says: 'Your brother killed eighty people in the last week.' Thor closes his eyes briefly to keep his composure.

'He is gone. That is not my brother anymore. My brother is dead. Whatever sits down there is just a creature.' His heart breaks as he says it but it would break more if he'd admit the truth. He must save his own soul from extinction and not worry them more. He has to pretend he fights Loki while fighting the real master mind behind this all. He will stop the invasion though he would never hurt Loki or let them do it. The mortals must not think he will turn on them.

'How can you?', an outraged shocked voice asks. Stephanie stares with wide eyes at him, mortified by his statement. 'He's your brother.'

'You would not understand that, mortal. Furthermore he is adopted.', he counters. He feels guilty for even thinking like this, knowing how the others will take it, not knowing that for some time those words had given him the strength not to despair and hope that he would be able to marry his love somewhen.

'What does it matter? The second he needs you, you let him down. No surprise he hates you.' She glares at him.

'He does not need me.', Thor states.

'And that gives you the right to give up on him?' She jumps up from her seat as not to look up to him.

'He killed people.', he defends his words.

'You have no idea what he went through but you judge him. You're an arrogant fool! Who are you to decide whether he is worth saving or not?' Stephanie practically yells at him.

Thor feels slightly cornered. 'Why do you care? He has done naught but harm to you. You should despise him.'

'That doesn't mean I am blind.' Tears enter her eyes but she refuses to back down. 'You abandon your own family when it starts to get uncomfortable. How dare you!'

'How dare you speak like that to me, mortal? I am a Prince.'

'Oh, of course you play that ace.', she hisses. 'You're insufferable and predictable.'

Thor shakes his head. It would do nothing to get worked up. 'I am not abandoning him. He wants to destroy your world.', he reasons.

She trembles a little bit, then turns around. She mutters something which sounds like 'Stupid oaf.' when she sits down again. What in Hel was that about?

xXxXx

'He is really crazy.', Tony notes when he enters the bridge, immediately strolling to the main controls, probably to retrieve his hacking device so Fury would not get access to Jarvis. Stephanie smiles slightly upon seeing him. He draws her attention away from the tiresome fight with Thor. They still sit all at the table in tense silence. She knows the others don't understand her position.

'Who?', she asks when he doesn't elaborate.

'Loki.', he states as though it is obvious. He turns back to them with a smile that can light up a whole room. 'Maybe that'll be for our advantage though. He is a drama queen. Predictable.'

'Do not underestimate Loki. He may be out of his mind but he is still dangerous.', Thor warns the others as Stephanie huffs.

Tony shakes his head. 'At least he is locked up safe.'

Her mind stops working. What had Tony said? He is here? Her nemesis, the enemy, the wolf in sheep's clothes? Her skin feels smaller and more oppressing than ever, her breath stops and the tremble that always starts when her old name is mentioned, gets more pronounced than ever. She has to swallow quite a few times before she can speak again.

'What do you mean by that?', Stephanie asks slowly.

'Uh? I mean you don't have to worry, he can't get out of that cell.' Tony frowns and shrugs. Apparently he doesn't notice the effect his words have on the woman.

'So, he is here?', her voice shakes badly. Her apprehension seems to reach the others. She can't decide what to feel, she is overwhelmed. How can he be here and she didn't feel a thing? Her brown eyes land on Tony as if to beg him to say no.

'Well, yes of course. I know', he puts up his hands to placate her, 'this must be hard for you. But you are safe.'

'But.. But you said you didn't capture him.', Stephanie exclaims as she tries to wrap her head around the given information. Tony had said 'No, sorry.' when she had asked him if they captured the imposter. Why had he lied, why would he do something like that which would hurt Stephanie?

He frowns then his face lightens. 'I meant he still lives and I didn't follow your insane plan. Not yet anyway.', he mutters darkly. 'I thought you knew.'

'How should I? He is here.' Stephanie turns away and looks to the windows to calm her breath. Panic would do no good. 'What is he doing here?', she asks no one in particular.

'How come she doesn't know?', Thor asks in the background. 'Did she miss the broadcast?'

'It wasn't transmitted over the whole Helicarrier.', Natasha tells him in a low voice. 'We didn't know what he would say after all.'

But Steph isn't listening really to any of them. He is here, the other Loki. Her own magic got so weak it didn't even react to the dark energy that by now probably envelops him. Now she draws in what energies she can and she starts to sense the vibes coming from downstairs somewhere which were unmistakably once her own, just darker, tainted with blood and death.

'Since when?', she asks.

'Since we arrived here.', Tony fills her in and looks down when she turns around. He seems ashamed he didn't tell her about Loki being here, misunderstanding her initial question.

'He has a greater scheme. There is a reason he is here.', she suspects and turns around to them. 'He wouldn't be here without a plan. He let himself be captured.'

'Fury suspects the same.', Natasha says. 'We only need to find out what he wants here.'

She shakes her head. 'He needs to be stopped as soon as possible. And there is only one way to do that permanently.', Stephanie growls.

'Stephanie! Stop, you can't do that!', Jane cries out when she turns to leave the room immediately as not to lose any more time. This trickery has to end at once. The scheme needs to be confounded. The imposter needs to die.

'Why?' Stephanie turns around abruptly to glare at her. 'He needs not get another chance to influence us or to succeed. Do you have any idea what will happen if he manages to summon his army?', she accuses. She shakes her head. 'We can't allow him.'

'But not like this. He will kill you the second he sees you!', Jane tries to reason with her.

'Not if I end his life first.'

Stephanie can see the shock her tone and words provoke. 'You can't do that, you will die!', she exclaims. 'When he breathes out his last breath..'

'So what?! What does it matter, Jane?' Tears come to her eyes. Stephanie tries to make her understand. 'I am already dead, Jane. I am dying, what is a decade, a century? It kills me. Every day I die. I suffered for long years now. Is it not time to end this? Have I not gone through enough? My life is meaningless without the people I love. He took them from me. And for that he will die.', she forces out. Her despair just fuels her anger.

'You can make it all right.', she tries to pacify her. Does she not hear how hollow her words are? That they no longer hold any comfort?

'He didn't recognize me, he gave up on me! There is nothing to fight for left. So what is life to me if it means he hates me? At least with this I can show my devotion.', her anger gets replaced by cold hate. There is no reason because this is the only reasonable thing to do. Thor had given up on her, so there is nothing left. He had said so himself otherwise she would have never believed him.

'But.. You can't just die and give them what they want.'

'What for? What should I live for? If he kills me, you will have something to fight for. As a team, something to avenge. If I kill him, the threat will be banned and if I die during the course, then let it be like that. I have already lost everything that is dear to me, Jane. I will never get back home like this! I won't ever see my son again and he probably wouldn't even recognize me! My lover hates me and thinks me a murderer!' She points in Thor's direction. 'He already gave up on me! What is there worth to live for?! I would gladly die if it means the Mad Titan won't come anywhere near this part of the universe!' With that she makes up her mind. There is only one possible course of things from now on.

'Stephanie!', Jane calls after her. 'Stephanie!' She doesn't react and lets the tears stream down her face when she walks to the door to end this farce, to end this stupid life if that is the price that needs to be payed to disrupt the Mad Titan's plans. She does not hang on this mortal existence, it will free her this way or another and end this misery. And with Thor already hating Loki and thinking him a murderer and oppressor, it matters little what happens to her once the imposter dies. Without Thor's love, what is there to fight for? Sleipnir is better off, Thor apparently glad to finally be able to renounce Loki for a reason. Her heart breaks but maybe she could still prove that she at least was worth his affections for so long.

'Loki!'

'No, Jane! He took everything from me. He will pay.' She glares at the brunette with tears in her eyes. She barely sees the others raise their eyebrows, doesn't even acknowledge Thor's confused stare, doesn't see him mouthing his birth name.

She races out of the room before anyone can stop her. She is not to be messed with, tears and hurt blind her but the magic that comes with rage shows her her path without Stephanie knowing it. His signature leads down some stairs and into an elevator which none of the command center dares to stop though she feels the eyes on her back. It is as if the whole Helicarrier waits with baited breath for her next step.

Stephanie takes a deep breath and steps out of the elevator. A new strength surges through her as purpose fills her. She won't cower or step back. She won't die as she came here, not as a mere weak human. Stephanie was always just a cover for Loki to hide behind and make the gravity of this life more bearable. Vengeance will be his. And he will kill the imposter who dared defile his love for Thor. Who dared to take his skin and pretend to be him. And he will make sure the monster in the cage knows who ripped his life from him.

His fury must have been palpable for the grim man who wears Loki's face already awaits him. A mad grin spreads on his face as he looks up to meet his visitor. When the imposter recognizes Loki, he tilts his head but the smile stays in place. Loki steps closer to the cage and examines it and the one it holds. His heart beats faster now that he is so close to his nemesis again. The last memory where they faced each other like this leaps to his mind and his thoughts fill with Thanos and everything he took from Loki. He shakes when the memories momentarily become too much to bear but he stares straight into cold icy blue eyes to not show any weakness. The memories fuel his rage. Everything they had taken from him, had tortured him and stolen his body, made his lover hate him and made it impossible for Loki to return home.

'You know who I am, right?', Loki asks from the other side of the glass wall, standing right in front of his imposter.

'I do remember. A human woman who is supposed to be dead. Weak and despicable.', the man snarls though his smile stays fixed in place. So Thanos had not let on his secret and the imposter hadn't investigated a lot. Maybe he had been influenced not to ask too many questions.

'No.' Loki accesses his magic which already bubbles beneath the surface. It is weak and nowhere near what he used to be able to summon but it will suffice. The air cracks with energy and Loki's fury succeeds in keeping him standing upright and not falter once when his magic teleports him into the cage, right in front of the imposter. The man backs away and his eyes widen. This close Loki can feel the magic surging through him, he himself feels the drain but it is not as much as expected so not enough to stop him. He is Loki, the trickster, the best sorcerer Asgard had ever seen, he knows more about how to use minimal magic to cause maximum damage.

The imposter seems confused and anxious. 'What are you?', he stammers as he backs away to the bench. Loki meets him step by step.

'A monster. But a different one than you. I do not steal body and soul.' Loki's eyes blaze red. The imposter stumbles back, Loki forces him to sit down on the bench and leans over him, holding his gaze. Magic once again engulfs the female form. His hands turn slightly blue, cold radiates from them. 'I am not weak and you don't own me.', Loki tells him. His hands are covered in ice and magic enhances his own strength. The imposter might have his magic but certainly not his skill.

A grin spreads on Loki's face that is in no way inferior to the one his imposter had on his before realizing his mistake, as his hand slides into the other one's chest and grips his heart. Loki barely feels the drain of energy that comes from strengthen his motion. 'You can't take away my true nature. The ice was always part of me.' Fear comes over the so familiar face as Loki slowly wraps his fingers around the beating organ. Blood gashes out of the wound and wets the feminine face as Loki notes with delight. 'You made me bleed, you took me over.' The imposter seems frozen by shock for he doesn't move nor even attempts to use his magic to save himself. Loki's magic slowly floods to its true master, giving him strength. 'You will die for that. But I know that someone else is watching, aren't you?' Loki tilts his head, tries to see the dark eyes and purple face in the sapphire irises. 'You would never leave your puppet unattended in case he would betray you.' Loki seems to have found what he looked for in his eyes.

'I will come and find you, Thanos.', he threatens. 'You will pay for what you did to me. I hope you hear this. You don't own me.', he nearly growls and his face contorts into a snarl. 'You made a terrible mistake in keeping me alive, a mistake you will now pay for.' Mad laughter bubbles up in Loki's chest and he lets it free. What is this, if not madness and insanity? 'You chose someone truly unworthy of me. You will regret this, Thanos. Trust me, I will make sure of that. And you will beg for something sweet as death.' He draws back slightly though his hand stays firmly where it is.

'You crushed my heart.', Loki muses, staring in his own frightened face with a smile on his lips, his eyes framed by hard lines. 'It just seems fair I repay that favor.'

In a rough motion Loki withdraws his hand, enforcing the motion with the magic he draws from his former body, pulling the heart out in one clean movement alongside a torrent of blood. His own clothes get soaked in it as well as the imposter's ripped ones. Loki doesn't care. The warm fluid feels like victory splattering his skin.

The life slowly drains out of the blue eyes as their gaze falls on the red chunk of flesh in Loki's hand. Blood drips down his hands to the ground, the deep dark red in stark contrast to the clean white floor. Magic tingles around him but Loki accepts it and doesn't fight. He had his revenge, Thanos would not come and his family is safe, for now at least the threat is banished. The energy seems to stretch out from the heart he still clutches in his hand and soon encases his whole body. His skin starts to pale, the floor to flee from him as his body lengthens and grows. The familiar itch spreads over his shoulders and broadens them, down his spine and into his fingertips and toes. Rich black hair falls forward as he looks at his pale long fingers wrapping around something that turns black. He takes a deep breath as he stretches his back.

With a sigh and a smile Loki rises. He drops the heart as green eyes seem to stare right into summer sky blue ones through the camera.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **Of course some of the sentences were taken from the Avengers movie and well. Thank you all for reading, especially those of you who favorited, followed and reviewed, it means the world to me to know what you think. Comments always inspire me for new story arcs or parts of the story. :3**

I know this chapter wasn't much about Tony but his title just fitted somehow. (I don't own that either, the chapter title is from Iron Man.)


	35. Chapter 34 Under Attack

Under Attack

 _The advantage of emotion is that they lead us astray  
and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional.  
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray_

Loki. The mortal woman had called her Loki and the brunette had stopped. It is not possible. Loki sits in his cell. Nobody attempts to hold Stephanie back or even go after her when she leaves the room. Loki. Something had snapped. The second the word had fallen from her lips it had all somewhat made sense.

Lady Natasha has the presence of mind to bring up the screen with Loki in his cell so they can see what will happen. No, that is not Loki. Or is it? Thor is confused, doesn't know what to think. Is he mad for believing the clearly mad woman? He had seen his brother sit in the cell, being captured, had even talked to him. Is this some trick?, Thor wonders as they all stare at the screen, the agents who had heard the argument included. They wait with baited breath before Loki suddenly sits up and a small smile crosses his once handsome features as if he would feel what is coming for him. Thor suddenly has the urge to protect the strange woman from his brother but she already flies into the room. Is she, he, really Loki? How?

When she teleports into the room his brother is kept in his last doubt vanishes that the woman could have sought to trick him somehow. Thor can feel the distinct touch of magic even through all the floors dividing them, the touch of not anyone's but Loki's magic. And furthermore not the dark perversion that had engulfed the other Loki but the pure refreshing rush that is truly the brother he grew up with. Thor's heart beats almost painfully fast. Stephanie, Loki, pulls out the heart of the other Loki or whatever it is before anyone recovered from the shock or can react. An empty shell, Thor reminds himself and apparently not even that. As soon as the man looking like his beloved dies, his body contorts and changes into something Thor had never seen before. It has bluish skin but nothing like that of the Jotnar to which he is used by now. It is a pale and sick blue. The form shrinks a little as the black blood still is flowing freely out of its body. The open eyes turn black as well as the spell is lifted. Though it has the form of a man Thor can find no resemblance in the horrid creature.

Finally his eyes are drawn to emerald green eyes seemingly staring a hole into him through the camera. 'Loki.'

The doors to the bridge open and everyone turns around to see Fury standing there, anger burning in his eyes, except for Thor. He is paralyzed by his feelings. Loki, his Loki, blood staining as he is raises himself fully. Thor has never seen anything more beautiful.

'What the hell is happening?', an angry director demands to know.

'Well..', Natasha starts.

He glances at the screen and blanches as Natasha tells him that Stephanie went down to face Loki. 'Who allowed her to go in there? Why didn't you stop her, Romanov?' He doesn't give her time to end her story. Apparently he had known this much as someone must have informed him.

'It is complicated, Director.', Jane offers. The team had almost forgotten about her.

'Try me.' Fury crosses his arms, his patience clearly wearing thin.

'She is not really a she.' His frown deepens and he looks at the screen again, Loki still deep in thoughts, and finally looks past him to see the body lying there but he doesn't interrupt her. 'She is the Loki Agent Coulson and I met in New York.'

'You mean to tell me-', he stops himself and shakes his head. The body certainly is not Stephanie and that Loki on the screen behaved different than he had the past few days, the director cannot deny that. 'You means to tell me that the evil maniac has been working for us the whole time and you knew?' He automatically assumes that the Loki in the cells had somehow controlled Stephanie or had fooled them and shape-shifted into the woman.

'No, no! In your cell, that isn't, well wasn't, the real Loki.'

Sighing Fury turns around to truly look at the screen and he stops breathing for a moment.

'That is the real Loki.', Thor says with a small smile tugging at his lips.

'How?' The whisper is barely heard.

'I have no idea.', Thor confesses. He can't take his eyes of Loki, afraid he'd vanish the second he wouldn't see him anymore.

'But.. if he is the real one, who attacked Earth?', Steven asks.

'This is probably a trick.', Tony growls through gritted teeth. 'He killed Steph somehow and makes us now think..'

'No, Tony. Stephanie, she never really existed.', Jane tries to explain. 'I didn't believe it either at first but she is really just Loki in another body.'

'Then he was hiding in her? So we wouldn't suspect?'

'No. The.. thing that attacked us wasn't Loki. It were his worst sides combined and strengthened. That creature had nothing in common with the man I know. If you would have known him before you'd know he'd never do something like this.' Thor feels the slight jab at him. If she just would know Thor a little better she'd know what his true motivation had been. 'This man,', she points at the screen, 'is the person you have gotten to know these past months. Just with a different name.'

Thor looks back to Loki and leaves them to their argumentation. He knows the truth, the moment it had revealed itself he had recognized it as such. Right before his eyes, Loki vanishes from the cell in a swirl of smoke.

xXxXx

Loki can feel Thor's eyes resting on him, possibly judging if he is real or if this is some grand scheme of his. He takes some deep breaths, noting delighted the way the air flows into his lungs, streams into his body. It carries the light note of Midgardian magic he so long had longed to sense. Carefully he pushes his magic this way and that, taking note that everything is how it was before it was taken away from him. He hadn't realized how much its absence had pained him. Loki hadn't felt complete but he realizes now that the hole he felt had almost encompassed his whole being. Without magic he hadn't been special in a good way, it had ever since been his greatest asset and most loyal companion. Without it he had, without noticing it, drawn back and cowered though he knows now he doesn't need to. He had found strength he never thought he possessed, compassion and love had nurtured it. He is not helpless, will never be again. He had been tortured, almost killed, made mortal and still defied an all-powerful being. He was cast out to Midgard without anything but his wits, and he managed to get his body back. In his weakest form Loki had gained his greatest victory. And all of that without his magic to help him.

His magic is still active, buzzing and demanding to be used. The ice lurks just beneath the surface, shifting and waiting. For the first time Loki does not condemn his birth and accepts the ice as a part of him as it had always been. The blood on Loki's face begins to dry. It had turned black alongside the heart he had ripped out of the monster's chest. So long he had been blind and deaf without his magic, not even knowing. Knowing that he does not depend on it anymore just makes the feelings all the more valuable. Now all tingles around him with energies hidden once more. He feels the mortals above him running around, can distinguish Thor from them even through all the floors dividing them.

Still Loki feels like doing backflips. Power he long missed surges through him again. Like this not even the Mad Titan, no, Thanos would be able to tear him down. He had long enough evaded that name, never again. Loki had fought and he had won, at least this time.

Slowly he moves his legs and arms, flexes his muscles as if using them for the first time. Loki sighs in contentment. This feels more like it. Finally his soul inhabits again a shell capable of containing it. The easy grace with which Loki had always moved takes a hold of his limbs once more, making every move in his skin feel phenomenal and plain right. A smile makes its way on his face.

It takes Loki several long minutes to take in all this familiar but still new feelings and accept that it is not going to be snatched from him in an instant but that he is back to stay.

His gaze lands on the bluish monster on the bench. Its foul stench makes Loki's eyes water. It already begins to rot. Loki feels like setting it on fire just like his hate for it still burns. Loki hadn't seen any people out in his exile that look like this but it looks like one of Thanos' minions, like the Other he had only ever glimpsed from afar. A small part of him feels sympathy for the poor soul chosen to be him. It hadn't even known what happened to it. Still, the part is small and quickly silenced. It must have been loyal to Thanos or he wouldn't have chosen the creature to serve him.

With a sigh Loki turns away from it, still feeling overwhelmed by his surroundings but he thinks he can now deal with the confusion and undisguised distrust he is about to face upstairs. He takes a deep breath and already feels his magic answering, keen to be used again by its rightful master. It is like meeting an old friend. Another deep breath and Loki catches a hold of a different part of the ship, using it to pull himself to that place on the bridge.

He sways slightly when he lands but Loki hopes nobody took notice of that. All eyes are turned on him, some glances accusing, some contain a smile of encouragement.

Thor stands almost in front of him, his eyes are wide as he tries to grasp what just happened. 'Just so you remember: This is how I kill.', Loki snaps with a glare. 'I do not hide behind others. I look into their eyes when I rip their hearts out.' With that Loki turns away from Thor and to the others. 'You'd do well to remember.' His brother doesn't answer but Loki feels his stare linger on him. Anger is right now easier than to feel his heart break.

'Loki.'

'Jane.' He smiles hearing his own voice again when speaking and not the contortion he had heard the past years.

'Good to have you back.' She smiles at him with real gladness in her eyes.

'Do you have her under a spell?', Tony asks, raising an eyebrow. Loki doesn't doubt he already told Jarvis to ready the suit and get it up here.

'To convince you? No. Ask my brother if you do not believe me. You will have noticed he isn't too adept to lying, Tony. He can sense my magic. And would he have let me out should he not truly believe that this is no scheme of mine? I assure you, Mjolnir would have flown my way the second Thor would have caught sight of me.', Loki tells him, carefully evading Thor's gaze.

'You lied to us.', Fury interrupts him before Tony can start again.

'No. I just didn't tell you the whole truth. I never meant any disrespect. What should I have told you anyway? That I am the murderer you're looking for just in a different body and not guilty?' Loki raises his eyebrows. 'I believed him in full possession of my powers and with that the biggest, most imminent threat, no matter his true name. We needed to fight him and explaining this would have made you doubt my story even more.', he explains as calm as he can.

'That actually explains a lot.', Fury grumbles and crosses his arms.

'I assume it does.', Loki muses. He had indeed known too much for an ordinary human being who did not understand everything going around after being captured. 'But still, I am sorry I lied to you. It was a necessity born out of need. I needed the secrecy so Thanos wouldn't know I still live as to surprise the imposter and catch him at his weakest.'

'And what's your part in this play?' Tony looks at Jane.

She sighs. 'We found him, or rather her, months after Loki had left. She.. when she woke she insisted on being the same man we saw vanish. Eric and I didn't really believe her but she knew things she couldn't have known otherwise. We knew him from before and somewhere in the strange woman I found Loki and took him in. He was caught in the other body. When Eric called us into the Tesseract project we thought we could help him by bringing him close to it, to either use it to get to Asgard or at least give us information should the imposter come here.'

Loki looks to the floor. 'I fear it is still my fault he came here.' Jane shakes her head but confusion is written over her face. 'He used the same way I did and locked on the Tesseract. I just lost the track because I wanted to go to Asgard. Unfortunately I ended up following the connection in the wrong direction and ended up here. But without me he would have had no idea how to get here.', he confesses with a hint of embarrassment.

'But he didn't even fight you. You didn't have to kill him.', Steve accuses.

'I am not sure if he felt what and especially who I am. Even when I was held in captivity he had an unhealthy obsession with me. I do not know if you understand a lot of this but he owned my power, my magic. It would never attempt to harm me so he might have felt some kind of reluctance to hurt me.'

'But he still had information.' Steve crosses his arms but he has a thoughtful pout on his face.

'No, he hadn't.', Loki contradicts him. 'He didn't know where the Tesseract is and with that had no further valuable knowledge. At least we are not being watched anymore, I have my body back and there is a chance the portal won't work without him or at least his death will delay the completion. So he needed to die.', he reasons. 'With me our chances are higher on finding the Tesseract and locking it up somewhere safe.'

'So you can magic it here?', Tony asks him. For now he seems to have put aside his suspicions and concentrates on their current situation.

'Not here. It is a powerful magical object which defies even my powers. I could not just teleport it here but Midgard is a wasteland in magic standards. It should be easy to trace.' Loki frowns. 'For now we should concentrate on your methods though. I am a little drained still.' Now that the adrenaline leaves his system he begins to feel the fatigue and the weakness of his magic. 'As soon as I had some rest I should be able to locate it. But for now..'

'Well, then let's better go to work.', Tony says with more enthusiasm than he feels.

Loki nods and the rest agree that that is the most important task for now and if Loki is willing to help, he should. Tony already turns to the door to start working right away.

'Just a second. Steven?', he turns to the blond as the words leave him.

'Yes?' A flustered Captain turns around and meet his eyes. He is still unsure about Loki but the ravenette knows that will go away in no time. He is a soldier, he understands that sometime one has to do bad things to safe a lot of people. The imposter had been an evil creature, the soldier would see what game had been played soon enough. But until then..

'I am requiring clothes that will fit better than these.' He motions down to the painfully tight jeans and the ridiculous looking t-shirt he is wearing. Loki is surprised no one had laughed about him till now. Maybe the blood covering him had stopped them from doing just that. 'And you are the best match, I believe.' Tony and Banner certainly aren't tall enough to lend him clothes that will actually fit Loki and, as he knows Thor, he won't even have spare clothes for himself. The Captain and he at least share an almost similar body height and for the muscular frame the blond has, all Loki asks for now are clothes that aren't too tight and not bloodstained.

'Er.. S-sure.' Without further ado he starts to walk out of the room. Tony, Bruce and he are about to leave the room when Thor finally breaks his silence.

'Loki..', he starts.

'Not now.', Loki tries to brush him off. 'We must concentrate on the tasks at hand.'

'Loki, please.' The pleading voice almost breaks Loki's heart and crumbles his resistance. But now he hasn't got the nerve to deal with Thor's guilty conscience. How could the blond ever doubt him? His brother should know him better. Loki pushes these thoughts away almost immediately. He can't deal with it now, it would be too painful.

'No. Brother, there are more important things right now.' Loki goes after the two brunet men and the Captain without turning around again. Tony leads the way and doesn't speak to Loki on the way down to the lab with the short stop at the Captain's quarters. Painfully he is aware of his mangled body when Loki dresses in the wide clothes Steven provides. And he notices the stares he gets from the blond though Steven tries to be unobtrusive about it. The other two men wait just outside, fortunately not seeing him like this. Steven is a soldier, Loki tells himself again. He has seen worse and will understand. Loki himself evades looking too closely at himself. A few splashes of water and he looks rather presentable again.

Loki had spend some hours in the lab already, even together with the two men, but everything is different still. It is not just that he suddenly looks down on the men and most of the equipment, his senses start to pick up on things he had lost the feeling for. The air seems to tingle with some sort of energy. He breathes in deeply the old magic surrounding the strange object on the table he has no inclination on touching. He had seen its effect on people, on himself. Thanos has some sort of connection to it and Loki fears if he lets down his guard around it, he will take over the ravenette somehow.

He shudders, then looks towards the Midgardians and he notices that they both stare at him, equal distrust written on their faces. For now they might believe his story but there is still some doubt left in them. Loki refrains from sighing. They had looked upon his face for the last days with the knowledge that he is the enemy and means to harm Earth, now suddenly he is supposed to be on their side. This is going a little too fast for both parties.

'There is a lot you still don't know about the Tesseract. As Stephanie I couldn't feel it properly.', Loki explains with a small blush when he realizes what he just said and sees their questioning looks. They still look for some kind of betrayal from his part and Loki can't blame them.

'But now your- what? Magic tells you where it is?' Tony raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. The brunet man had always been doubting the existence of something his scanners can't pick up, even after he had seen the soft form of Stephanie melt away and make way to black hair and green eyes.

'Yes.', Loki says quietly, trying to ignore his embarrassment. 'I'm sorry about that.' Tony must feel betrayed for his supposed friend lied to him for months. He clears his throat. 'It is not magic as you imagine it. Your scanners don't pick up on this kind of energy. I tested it and though my powers were weak, I do not assume your devises would react to anything even if I would perform extensive spells. It is an energy your planet doesn't really possess, at least not to the extent I am used to by the other worlds and realms.'

Bruce begins to question him about the exact details about this strange energy and Loki describes it to the best of his abilities. He had learned everything there is to know about magic but to explain it to these mortals, who had never been remotely touched but it in all their lives, is tedious. Still, their science is a little primitive, to actually use their technology to track something this powerful would be difficult. 'That's why you never got any readings, no proper ones. Your instruments were looking for the wrong kind of energy. This is no radiation though it is similar to your atomic power. Not that dangerous but it has far more potential. Whatever you want to call it, it is what the Tesseract truly emits and what you really need to look for.'

'But we have no instruments all over the planet to pick this stuff up.', Tony criticizes. 'Just the formulas and explanations don't mean that we can actually trace it. Can't you, I don't know,', he makes some sweeping motions with his hands, 'find it alone?'

Loki looks down to the floor. 'I would, normally. But..' He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to force the words to leave his mouth. 'But I am drained. It greatly tires me to actually even be awake right now. Maybe in a few days I will get clear readings, I am not used to feel all this tingling around me anymore. I have been blind and deaf for the last two years and now I am overwhelmed.', he confesses.

'What you told me, about your stay with the Mad Titan, was that true?', Tony asks with doubt in his voice. He barely glances up at Loki and busies himself with the scanner to calibrate it according to Loki's instructions.

'Yes, Tony, it was. I did never wish to threaten any world, trust me, I accepted a long time ago I would never be king of anything.' The brunet man nods, lost in thoughts.

'So you never worked with the.. Mad -?', Bruce asks. He is turned fully to him, his arms are crossed but his gaze is open and interested.

'Thanos. His name is Thanos and I am not afraid to use, neither should you. To answer your question, no, but he wanted me to. That's why I was taken. He sought an ally to help him regain the Tesseract. I refused. Hence my.. double.', he explains.

Tony seems to remember something. He looks up from his tools and faces Loki directly. 'Did you do something to the Tesseract in the NASA facility?'

Loki swallows before settling for an answer. 'I sensed someone was using its power to create a portal from the other side. I tried to stop it but my magic was bound by the mortal shell, I was too weak to actually do something about it except maybe delay him for some minutes. Later when we were buried though, I supported the walls so they wouldn't crash us. I was surprised that my magic seemed stronger when the imposter came here, though not unpleasantly.'

Tony laughs. 'I knew something was off! You could have told me, you know? I was scared as hell to bury both of you under some boulders with the next step forward.'

Loki laughs in relief that he isn't glared at anymore and at least Tony relaxes around him. 'I wasn't sure it would work.', he admits with a smile. Maybe this had not totally ruined their relationship. Loki likes Tony a great deal, he trusts him and wishes for Tony to feel the same. In Asgard he never had friends, at least not many. Here on Midgard he had finally learned how much he always wanted someone to confide in. Jane and Tony had proved to be better companions than he ever could have wished for. People he knows he would travel to the end of the universe for and who hopefully feel the same, who, he is sure, would do the same.

'Well, then. Don't just stand there, that are your equations, you should type them in.' Loki laughs but walks over to the computer to complete what Bruce had started. Tony grins nonchalantly. 'You know, next time you come to visit me, I'll show you all the places you gotta see in New York. We just leave Jane with Pepper. There are things just for guys.' He winks at Loki.

'You're insufferable, Tony.' Loki rolls his eyes with a smile.

'You get what you see. Be happy I'm here. You'd be lost without me, St- Loki.' Loki takes it as a good sign and hides his smile when Tony tries to gloss over his mistake. At least the man doesn't think any different of him.

Bruce clears his throat and walks over behind Loki. 'Do you think this will work?'

'Well, at least your scanners will know what to look for. This energy, it is everywhere around you, you just don't feel it. Thanos calls it Cosmic energy, we in Asgard call it magic. Whatever the term, your science hasn't found it yet. I'm just bringing you up to date with this. Let's hope your scanners will find something with this help.'

'Yeah, let's-' Tony's smile dies on his face when the Helicarrier shakes violently. Things fall down to the ground when the giant ship drops to the side, the men try to keep their balance. Tony breathes hard. 'What the fuck?!'

The whole ship is still hanging in the sky but the floor got a tilt it certainly hadn't before. Loki stands up and sees through the window dark wisps of smoke coming from the direction of one engine. Banner shakes madly as he tries to stay calm and controlled.

Jarvis brings up the communication of the bridge without anyone having to ask him. There is a lot of shouting but they clearly hear the word 'attack' and 'Barton'. Tony leaves the room without another word to them as he yells to Jarvis to get his suit ready and to tell the Captain to suit up as well and meet him outside.

'Stark? Stark, do you copy? We need to get the engine back online.'

'He's already at it, Miss Hill.', Loki answers calmly as the communication cracks online. There is something in the air he can't quite place. 'Maybe we can help them.', Loki muses as he looks back to Dr. Banner. The man still shakes violently, the ravenette can almost hear his heart beating frantically. 'Dr. Banner.' He gets no reaction from the man. Oh, this is bad, Loki thinks. 'Bruce?' His own breathing gets quicker as he tries to find a solution. Bruce is too far gone to regain control, that much Loki understands with one glance. Outside he hears agents running, innocent helpless humans run to help safe countless lives. He can't let Bruce run amok here, he'd hurt too many. The green tinge of his skin is undeniable by now. Without thinking much about it he grabs Banner's arm and reaches out with his magic. He would never make it to the surface of Earth, it is too far beneath them. Alone maybe but certainly not with something like the Hulk. Loki can feel the power just underneath Banner's skin. 'Hold on, Bruce.'

With his last energy resources Loki makes a small jump to the hangar. Here at least not too many people are around. Pulling Banner through is harder than he imagined but somehow Loki manages. He lets go of the scientist and stumbles some steps back before facing him again.

'Loki?', Thor's voice sounds over the com attached to the wall. Loki backs away from Bruce but his eyes never leave the skin turning green. He had never been so glad to have heard the blond's voice. Loki tries to ignore his own panic rising as Banner's skin bulges out and his body shakes violently.

He presses the button to answer. 'Thor, I need your help.' His brother must have felt the jolt of his magic and worried what it might mean.

'Where are you?' Thor goes straight to business. He never asked unnecessary questions when danger is at hand.

'The hangar. Hurry.'

They couldn't hurt Bruce, not if it isn't absolutely necessary. Loki curses silently when Bruce's transformation is complete and not a calm quiet scientist stares down at the ravenette but a raging beast which doesn't care about collateral damage. The shining green eyes are turned on him. Loki swallows back his fear and stands tall to face the Hulk. He must keep him hear where there are no innocent mortals around who could get hurt. The Hulk steps closer to him, as if not sure how to treat him.

With as much authority as he can, Loki also takes a step forward. 'I am not your enemy.', he says calmly. Hulk tilts his head but gets nervous. 'You need to calm down, Bruce.' That was apparently the wrong thing to say as the green creature roars and charges at him. Loki doesn't even try to run, knowing how weak he already feels. He merely closes his eyes, waiting for the punch that never comes. Instead a familiar sound reaches his ear followed by a big crash. Loki opens his eyes again to see Thor standing between him and Banner, the latter having crashed into one of the planes together with Mjolnir.

'Are you alright, brother?', Thor asks, turning around.

'Yes.', Loki whispers weakly.

The ship shakes again, more violently then before. Another engine must have failed, Loki thinks while trying to hold onto something. The Hulk isn't amused by this change of events and attacks them again, his feet digging into the concrete as if it is sand. Thor still has Mjolnir and charges at the green giant as well.

Loki feels that the ship is falling from the sky but he hopes Tony will find a way to prevent that. The two opponents ignore the world around them as heavy blows are exchanged. Suddenly the ship almost jumps into its correct position again and the falling stops short time after that. Loki breathes a sigh of relief. At least they would not all die if they now could just keep the Hulk from ripping the ship apart. The ravenette stands up with weak knees and attempts to help his brother, carefully evading being hit by their adversary. Some are just close misses and Loki can feel the drain. He knows he won't keep this up much longer. Thor comes to stand next to him and Loki reaches his hand out, touching Mjolnir briefly.

'Hit him as hard as you can. I think I got an idea.' Loki vanishes to the side as the Hulk attacks Thor once more. He hears the hammer hit its aim and sees the green giant falling to the floor.

Loki jumps at Banner now lying on the floor without orientation for the moment. Pressing both hands on the opposite sides of the green head he says: 'Stop. Control it.' Something in the green eyes changes and snaps.

He stumbles back. The little magic Loki had been able to draw from Mjolnir's presence is already fading. He would be able to fight for now, but certainly not someone like the Hulk. Fortunately his efforts seems to have been enough. Dazed as the Hulk already was, the little jolt had been sufficient to bring Banner back to the surface.

Banner slowly transforms back, the green tinge of his skin becomes less prominent. He seems to be in pain. Loki looks to Thor to check if he is okay because he got some serious hits but the blond already smiles again, the only thing indicating he was in a battle being his messy hair. Loki's lips quirk when they hear more commotion outside. Some of the intruders must be trying to get themselves a transport away from here.

Without a word needed they both jog away in the direction the noises come from. Some SHIELD agents fight with another group. Loki has no problems seeing them for what they are as their eyes seem to glow blue. Thor doesn't use his hammer as to not kill some innocent human but even like this it takes the brothers barely more than a few minutes to restrain them all. The agents thank them and tend to their wounded.

'This was too easy.', Thor grins like a cat that got the cream.

'Yes.', Loki agrees. 'Too easy.' His smile falls. It was too easy. This wasn't a real attack. What did they try to gain by attacking highly trained SHIELD agents and a hand full of powerful misfits?

Loki rushes down to the lab just to find his worst fears come true. Bruce is already there with Tony in his suit. Apparently they came up with the same solution for the mystery of the attack. The holder containing the scepter is empty. Loki's breath hitches. Barton must have sneaked past them and got it though the air ducts as they were busy not falling from the sky. Apparently the little Hawk had realized his temporary master died and followed the instructions he had been given beforehand: Retrieve the scepter and, if necessary, Loki. Even without his master they could still open a portal with it and Thanos had probably made sure that in case something would go wrong, he would be able to take control over the imposter's victims.

'He managed to get away.', Tony confirms with a dark glance. His suit looks very damaged.

Loki lets out his breath in a huff and his face falls. Against all hope he had prayed that the archer would not get this far. Thor comes running after him and stops behind Loki when his eyes fall on the empty table.

'Damn.', Loki curses.

'But.. they cannot wield it, right?', Thor asks helplessly.

Loki sighs. 'With it they can communicate with Thanos and they will take it back to him the second they open that stupid portal.' He briefly closes his eyes. 'We have a bigger problem actually.'

'What could be worse?', Tony asks with a frown after flipping his faceplate up.

'The Tesseract isn't merely an magical object.', Loki turns to Thor. 'It is the space stone, one of the infinity stones.' Thor's brow creases with worry.

'I have heard of them, but..'

Loki rolls his eyes. 'Of course, you didn't care. I stumbled upon them after we heard about them in the halls of learning. You wouldn't read the literature concerning them, brother, but I did. Most of the information were predictions and foretold stories but after everything that has happened.. There are six of them. They are the most powerful objects in the whole universe because they exist since the very beginning. Representing the six entities they together would make one master of all the worlds.'

'The Mad Titan wants to use them as a weapon.', Thor half-asks. 'Father said something about it.', he quickly elaborates when Loki's surprised gaze lands on him.

'Thanos is looking for them and he wanted to use me to regain one. The space stone probably was the only one whose location he knew.'

'And the others?'

Loki shrugs. 'Where they are, I do not know. He certainly doesn't has them or he wouldn't have needed me. The others are different stones with different abilities. The space stone you already know about, the others are reality, time, soul, mind and power. Thanos wishes to rule the universe with them as far as I can remember.'

'We cannot let him have it.' Tony crosses his arms as he states the obvious. Natasha and Steve come in, her head still covered by a bloody cloth. Barton had battered her and more than just her pride is wounded. Bruce quickly fills them in as Loki tries to stretch out with his magic but it is no use, he is still too weak. On the edge of his perception he feels the Tesseract lurking, waiting to be felt out.

'What will we do next?', Thor asks.

Tony shrugs. 'We haven't found the Tesseract yet and Loki still feels too drained to locate it properly. Barton will need to get back to their base, unfortunately they vanished from radar and are untraceable. And let's hope that Selvig will still need some time to get the portal working, at least enough time so we stand a chance to find them.'

They all nod in agreement. Some guesses are exchanged as to where the portal may be build. Some think in the middle of nowhere so they could get the army through it before attacking, others think they will set it up in some inconspicuous but public place to frighten humanity from the very beginning.

'You have met the Chitauri. What are they?', Steve asks after some moments of silence. He already is in soldier mode and can think of nothing else than the upcoming battle.

A shadow crosses Loki's face. 'Trust me, you don't want to know that.'

'It would help us to fight them. I doubt by now we will able to stop them in time. They know we will find them soon so they will hurry.' The Captain frowns slightly, not backing off.

'What army would you prefer to use, an alien race or an army who has already fought on Earth, genetically and technically enhanced?', Loki asks before he shakes his head. 'You won't recognize them, Captain and they won't remember.' Everyone's eyes widen with realization. 'Your companions were shot with the energy from the space stone. It doesn't kill, it doesn't scatter your atoms, it merely teleports them away to another part of the galaxy. That is how Thanos found out about it being here in the first place, he recognized the special energy signature and knows 'terrans', as they call Midgardians. He knew then that the Tesseract is on Earth.'

'And then he came for it.', Thor concludes.

Loki nods and lets his eyes wander to the window. That's when Thanos came for him.


	36. Chapter 35 Abandoned

Abandoned

 _A great firm dome of ignorance must encompass you.  
Friedrich Nietzsche_

Loki is evading him, that much Thor is sure of. He hadn't exchanged a hundred words with his brother since he discovered that not everything was as it seemed. Thor longs to speak with the ravenette, to touch him again, to look into the emerald green eyes, be happy with him. Finally he had him back, reunited and still further apart then ever.

Loki tells him that they need to find the Tesseract and he needs to help the Midgardians with that task, after that there would be enough time to talk but Thor would be stupid as to not recognize this as a distraction. Though they have to set priorities and find the powerful cube before something happens with it, it is an acceptable excuse of his brother but nothing more. He doesn't want to spend time with Thor, tries his best to stay away from him. Thor had seen the other scientists out of their laboratory.

Even now that the blond sits alone on the bridge and stares straight ahead out of the windows, Loki prefers to spend his time with the strange mortal man of iron. They had met before Thor had come to collect his brother. And they seem close, so much like each other. Both are far more clever than anyone else, have a similar background as far as Thor knows, they both are independent and know what they want. Stark has so much more in common with Loki. Thor sighs heavily though there is no one to hear it.

Thor had tried everything to catch his brother alone, but to no avail. In the short moments after the fight with the Hulk and the attackers he had believed Loki would actually come around, at least give him the chance to explain, and they could talk. Thor had been mistaken. Not two minutes after they had exchanged a silent smile as all the times before when they were in battle together, Loki had run off and spend his days again with evading Thor.

He is not stupid though, he knows what probably goes through the ravenette's head. How could Thor ever have mistaken the imposter for his real brother? Hadn't he noticed how changed Loki had been, how he seemed to be gone and no more than an empty shell? And still Thor had been taken for a fool and fallen for the image. Loki must be furious. But couldn't he at least guess Thor's reasoning?

He blinks owlishly when Fury brings in the just the two men Thor's mind lingers upon. Loki casts a wary look at him but doesn't stop talking to Stark about something. There are far too many words in their conversation Thor doesn't understand, just another proof how close the two are. The blond scowls almost imperceptible. The mortal should know his place and stop distracting his beloved. Stark surely can see that Thor would like nothing better than to speak to Loki.

The two men follow Fury, still discussing, and he hands them some files. He even calls Jane Foster over to them, as she had worked on some scientific thing Thor understood even less about. He thinks it was something about triangles.

The two scientists and Loki come up to the platform again. 'You talked to him.', the ravenette starts without a preamble. 'Did he say something about the cube or of remote interest?' He sounds impatient but the sharp ragged edge is out of his voice and his eyes don't have the maniac glint Thor had feared would never leave his lover again. Now he stands in front of Thor, safe, sound, sane, and refuses to speak properly with the blond.

He swallows back his sarcastic reply and tries to think about the imposter but the mere thought drives shivers down his spine. 'No, he just said he send it off. He didn't know where exactly it was either. That was the whole point.' Thor shakes his head. 'Can't you find it with magic?', he asks with a raised eyebrow.

Loki's eyes blaze with fire. 'No.' The coldness is back to his voice. Thor flinches away from it.

'Right.', Stark drawls. 'Let's get back to work. Jane, why don't you chat a little with Blondie? He looks like he could use some company.', he says nonchalantly. Loki nods and goes after him, casting a last short glance to Thor.

It's now or never. 'Loki, can we talk?' Hope swings in Thor's voice but also fear of rejection.

Loki sighs and says without turning around: 'Sorry, busy. Maybe later.' It is supposed to sound off-hand but he is tense.

'No, now! Loki!', he yells after him when the ravenette attempts to leave the room. His chair hits the ground with a loud thud.

Loki spins around and glares at him. 'What do you want to talk about? I need to get back to the lab.' And back to Stark, Thor thinks bitterly. The Midgardian hovers at the door as if unsure whether he should witness this and stand by Loki or vanish and leave them to themselves. Jane had winced when Loki turned, fearing what may follow.

'You do not want to speak to me, brother, and I understand that, but we need to talk at some point.'

'I really don't see that I have to. Brother.' He shakes his head and though a smile is on Loki's face, his words burn as do his eyes. He turns around to leave again.

'I know you are mad, but..', Thor starts but his words are cut short.

'Mad?!', Loki screeches. He spins around to reveal a face distorted by rage. 'Mad?! You abandoned me!', he accuses. No one dares to move but simply stares at the ravenette yelling at the blond. 'You left me to die and now have the nerve to assume I am mad?! Just be honest, you didn't care, you were glad to be rid of me.' Loki's voice is a hiss. 'How long before you turned away and moved on? What was more important than to safe my life? Tell me!' Thor doubts anyone else can hear the tears slowly making their way into his silken voice. 'You come to help a world you barely know but abandon your own brother whom you have spend your whole life with! I needed you and you left me to die.'

'We thought you were dead. I mourned, Loki.' Thor raises his hands and lets them fall to his sides again, feeling utterly helpless.

He laughs mirthlessly. 'How long?', he asks with bitterness lacing into his voice. 'How long before you decided I wasn't worth the wait? How long before you forgot and let me alone?'

'Loki, I never..'

'Is that why you didn't help me? Were you to busy fucking Sif to bother with me? You weren't there, like always when I need you, you're gone, away with someone else and too busy to pay attention to your little, murdering, lying, disgraceful brother.', he spits out, the words burning themselves into Thor's heart. 'You don't want to help. I don't need the help of one who so willingly believes I would kill innocent people and not have the spine to stand up for it. I do not hide behind others to justify my actions. I thought you of all people would know that.' His voice breaks at the end. Tears gleam in green eyes as Loki takes a deep breath. He looks at the wall behind Thor for a second. 'I need some air.', he forces out. The whole room still holds its breath and tries to recover from Loki's fury. But Thor has no eyes for the shocked expression on the other people's faces. The only thing he sees is Loki, his hurt, his pain, his own mistakes.

All Thor can do is stare dumbfounded at the door swinging shut behind the man he loves.

Is this what Loki thinks about him? Thor releases his breath. Everything went wrong. Though he didn't know his brother still lived, Thor feels guilty for not searching. He wouldn't have had the means to find him even if he would have known. Still, his heart is heavy for he had stopped believing in Loki's return. Sleipnir never stopped, tried even to convince Thor and find a way to Loki.

So not everything the crazy madman pretending to be his brother had said was plucked out of the air. Loki believes Thor had dropped him and never truly loved him. Thor's heart breaks. He had failed his love terrible if Loki could believe such things. He must know why Thor did as he did, must understand Thor's feelings. He just must, the blond thinks helpless.

He snaps out of his haze and moves towards the door to catch up with Loki. He always hated to see his brother cry but to be the reason for it, even if unjustified, Thor just has to make it up somehow. He has to explain himself and hope Loki would forgive him somewhen.

'Thor, just – give him a minute.' Jane's soft voice reaches through the blood rushing in his ears as her small hand holds him back. Thor looks down at her, surprised to find her so close. His gaze flits back to the door for a moment before settling on her again. She had taken care of Loki, Thor is sure about it. Had been his friend when Thor was too busy drowning in his own misery. The brunette looks warm and friendly.

Furthermore he knows she is right. All walking after Loki would do right now is more yelling and more apologies that would have to follow later. He sighs and fully turns away from the door. 'What happened to him?'

She shakes his head. 'You have no idea what he went through. Just give him some time.'

'This will need more than an apology, I assume.'

Stark casts a look at the two of them talking, then walks after Loki, probably to drag him back into that dreadful laboratory. Jane draws his attention back to her. 'Yes it will. Why haven't you come for him?'

'I didn't know he was alive.', Thor tries to justify himself but it sounds hallow. 'What happened to him?'

'He never really spoke about it. I think he was – is broken. When he came here, Darcy, Eric and I thought the woman lying on the floor to be another Asgardian. She landed right where we found Loki, she was badly hurt. We feared she wouldn't survive. Upon waking she called us by our names and claimed to be an immortal man we had met months back. Of course we thought her delusional, didn't believe her. But there was something in her eyes, something proud and unbroken, something I recognized.'

'They trapped Loki in a mortal shell. He must have suffered greatly.' Thor can't even imagine the pain Loki must have went through alone because of this ordeal.

'Thor, when he returned.. He wasn't the same. I think he still feels lost. He spend the first few weeks after waking up at the Bifrost site and yelled at the sky for you to come and safe him, take him home. But you didn't come.' Sadness lingers in her voice, her eyes are unfocused. 'He nearly killed himself, we had to drag him back inside each night when he collapsed.' She sighs, her eyes returning to Thor. 'He feels you abandoned him and didn't care just because he changed.'

'I didn't know.' His voice shakes. 'I couldn't come, Jane.' He shakes his head, lost for words. Plus, she is not the one he has to justify himself to.

'When I was called into the Tesseract project I told him about it. He immediately recognized it just from its description. Of course he didn't know it was an.. infinity stone I believe he called it. But Loki knew it would take him back home. His magic was suppressed so his usual ways were closed and he couldn't feel out any of the other passages to use them. He thought if he would just get back home, you would find a way to reverse what the Mad Titan did to him.'

As usual, his Loki had found a way on his own. His brave perfect brother had found his way out of the misery, not depending on Thor as much as Thor would like that. Again he had failed his beloved when he needed him the most, again not being there when fate or other people challenged his identity and took a part from him, took him apart. Thanos must not have been gentle to take this all from Loki. Cold fury takes a hold of Thor as he swears revenge for anything this creature had done to them.

'But he reversed it on his own.', Thor says.

Jane just huffs. 'There was a big chance it wouldn't work. We thought he would die the second the immortal imposter would be dead. I don't even know why it worked. Apparently his Jotun heritage was something the Mad Titan couldn't take from him.'

'But he was past the point of caring.' Thor's voice almost breaks. He is horrifies of what he made his brother do, what made him so desperate.

'Yes. When you.. he didn't care. But I do think he doesn't realize what this means.' When Thor just looks confused at her, she continues. 'The imposter just kept his form because of Loki, as long as he lived the other him kept his shape. They were connected. When Loki fled from the Mad Titan, that creature must have realized he survived when the imposter didn't turn back.'

'I do not understand, Lady Jane.'

'This form, the immortality, they were always part of Loki and his alone. The imposter just could use them for as long as the original source is still alive.', she explains.

'So he knows Loki is..'

'Not that he is here, but I fear he will come for him, sooner or later, for killing his footman. He can't stay hidden forever, he has found Loki once before, he can do it again.' Jane shakes her head and they stay silent for a while, each dwelling on their own thoughts. 'Thor, he just evades you because..'

'He is hurt, I know.' He had officially doubted Loki and if Thor is honest he really had doubted Loki's sanity and reasons. Who would not have, drunken on happiness as he was? Loki would need time to forgive him for this apparent betrayal of trust, if he could at all. 'Thank you for your kind words, Lady Jane. If you will excuse me, I will tend to my brother. And hope he will forgive me for everything.' He bows slightly, then walks to the door. He had long enough waited for this, had given Loki plenty of time to find him and talk when he is ready for that. Apparently that won't happen anytime soon, apparently his brother doesn't need time and space but someone to care.

Quickly he finds his way outside, the strong cold wind whips his hair out of his face and clears his mind. Thor takes a few deep breaths before starting to search for Loki. He can't have gone far. Darkness had already dipped the whole scene in artificial light and shadows, the dark clouds beneath them still got the glow of the setting sun but night already has set over the Helicarrier. After just a few steps Thor spots his brother, standing side by side with Stark, hugging each other.

Thor wonders if he is too late, if Stark had taken the space in Loki's heart that once was solely reserved for Thor. The brunet man had been there for Loki, had consoled him and taken some of his pain away. Thor had heard the rumors about the pair of them, the agents talk about what happened before the capture of the Tesseract, especially what they believed happened between Stark and his Loki. Thor's heart grows heavy. What had really happened? They apparently had spend several nights together. He doesn't want to believe his brother had found comfort in the arms of another, but he can't help but to agree that they look closer than they should be. Maybe Thor is too late, maybe he had already lost Loki to someone who is there for him when he needs him.

Without a word Thor silently goes inside again.

xXxXx

Tears choke him when Loki almost runs out of the room, the wide blue eyes frozen in shock follow him. He needs air, needs to get away from the person he trusts the most who would think so cruelly of him. Thor had seen what Loki is capable of and he had hated it, Thor had wanted to treat him just like any other common criminal. Loki doesn't know what he expected of his righteous brother but at least a little bonus for being his beloved, a little trust in his person however misplaced it might be. But alas, he no longer is Thor's beloved, not his brother, nothing but an enemy in familiar skin. And Thor wouldn't be Thor if he would not put the good of the nine realms before his personal welfare.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Loki knows it wasn't fair to blame Thor for everything that has transpired. His brother neither had called Thanos to capture him nor had he left Loki on purpose but at the second he had had the audacity to speak about things the blond oaf doesn't know a thing about, something inside of Loki had snapped. All the pend up anger that Thor didn't try harder to apologize, all the sadness that he doesn't seem to care anymore, all the frustration of the last years finally had found a vent. So things had flowed out that would have better been kept quite. The jab at Sif had been low, even for his standards but Loki couldn't help but wonder if someone else had entered Thor's life and stole him away. That Loki had already been replaced.

Some tears escape when Loki reaches the doors at the end of the hallway. He hits the button and they reveal the last rays of the dying sun. His feet carry him further to the edge but Loki stays behind some crates so the wind wouldn't make him cold. Some more tears make their way over his cheeks. What had he thought would happen? He laughs bitterly. Exactly this. Thor telling him it's all over. He might have been able to overlook Loki's true heritage but being faced with this dilemma must have opened Thor's eyes at last. So Loki had evaded him, being angry himself for Thor not recognizing the unrecognizable. It's unfair but he went through enough to deserve being a little unfair himself.

The door opens softly, barely audible over the rushing of the turbines but Loki perks up and a smile almost makes it to his face. Maybe Thor does care, maybe there is an explanation to all of this. Coming after Loki surely must be a good sign. Thor wouldn't rush ending something both of them know is gone.

He visibly deflates when Tony enters his line of vision, making for him. Loki sighs and resumes his staring at the red and orange clouds, trying not to let the disappointment show too much. Tony is a good friend after all.

'Hey.', Tony says softly, coming to stand next to Loki and facing the glowing sky.

'Hey.', Loki answers equally quiet. At least on one male he can still count.

'That was quite scary, back there.' Despite himself Loki laughs about that. Tony seems to take that as a good sign for he relaxes visibly. The brunet man had at least not treated him any different since he changed back, had even been supportive. 'What's on your mind, pal?'

'He hates me. If he doesn't already he sure as Hel will now. I keep pushing him away.', he admits.

'I see.' Tony nods. 'But, you know, I don't think Thor hates you, Lokes. He actually threatened everyone with death who would dare to lay a hand upon you, well, the not-you.', he quickly rectifies as he chuckles. 'And that was before he knew you didn't murder anyone. Of importance.', he adds on an afterthought.

'You think so?' Loki hates his voice for betraying his hope.

'I don't say it was unjustified yelling at him. From what I've seen he possibly needs that every now and then.' They chuckle at that. 'He was kinda a coward for not talking to you. But you can ask anyone. I- he probably feels guilty too, you know? There he hears that his little brother isn't dead as presumed but has been captured and not been treated too nicely. Just, you know, give him a chance to explain this. Thor probably just wanted to give you some space to cool off, not that that worked too well.' Tony scratches his neck. Loki takes a deep breath. Thor still had protected him. And hadn't the ravenette told him explicitly to stay away?

'Thanks, Stark.'

'Since when am I 'Stark' again?', he exclaims undignified when Loki turns to him and embraces him.

'Since you're so mean as to show me my errors again.' He sighs, his head resting on Tony's shoulder as the other man's arms come up to return the embrace. 'Thanks for that.'

'Always. You know how much I hate this tension between people if I am not responsible for it. I depend on all getting along in a fight. What if I need your help and you two are too busy yelling at each other to care?' They laughs and finally Loki lets go of him.

Loki still hates being touched, his stay at the Sanctuary had just pronounced the natural feeling, but now he outright panics when someone touches him without his consent or prior knowledge. Just when he initiated the contact Loki can deal with it and feel the comfort supposed to come from it.

'Just like you to think this pragmatical. Thanks for being a friend.'

They stay outside till the sun has fully set and the sky grows dark. The temperature drops quickly and when they go inside Loki can feel the chill leaving him as the warm air engulfs them. He can't even fathom how cold Tony must feel but he merely waves it off and tells Loki he'll see him in the morning.

The trickster feels drained and withdraws to his chamber without talking to anyone. He'd speak with Jane in the morning. She always understands when he needs some space though he is glad Tony came after him. He had spend more time with Thor than his best friend and Loki had evaded him whenever possible.

It hits him with full force when he drops onto the bed. Loki pushes Thor away. What must his once-brother think of him? Tony is right, he just gave Loki space to breathe and Loki already condemns him. Maybe he believes now Loki hates him and doesn't want to speak with him ever again. The tears the brunet man had dried flow freely again and this time Loki lets them. He had cried himself to nightmares the past week. He somehow feels better afterwards. At least when he is alone he can allow himself to show weakness. He needs to make amends with Thor if it is not already too late. He had hurt him with his cruel words, his ridiculous accusations and jealousy.

It's too late, that traitorous voice whispers. He doesn't need you the way you need him. You don't want him, fine, he will move on and not look back once. Why would he? He always deserved so much better than you.

Quiet sobs spill over his lips, time stops existing.

'Loki.' A warm body lets the mattress dip and settles behind Loki, arms reach out and pull him closer. Loki tenses momentarily, a soft whine leaving his mouth before the familiar smell encompasses and soothes him somewhat. 'Don't cry, my love. Shush. It will be fine.' Thor's voice is soft for once as he rubs Loki's arms.

Sniffling he turns around in Thor's arms to look up to the face he loves before burying his head in the crook of the blond's neck. After several minutes of silence and crying, his tears subside a little.

The beautiful eyes are full of warmth and worry when Loki stops clinging to him but Thor still keeps him close as if afraid he would vanish again.

'Do you hate me?', Loki whispers because he just needs to know.

Hurt and shock cross the handsome features until just a lingering sadness stays. 'No, Loki. I never could.' He pauses for a moment. 'I am sorry I wasn't there for you. I should have been.'

'No, don't. It's not your fault and I shouldn't have brought it up. I am sorry. I'm sorry, Thor. I shouldn't have, please..'

'Don't, Loki, I understand.' A soothing hand strokes his black hair. 'I should have understood what I saw. Don't be sorry. I should have known it wasn't you.'

'How could you know? I'm sorry I said those things, I really am.' He lets out a heavy sigh. 'I was just hurt, I guess. I wondered why you didn't come earlier.'

'First thing, finally stop apologizing.' The hearty chuckle brings a smile to Loki's tear streaked face. 'It was none of your fault, I should have spoken to you earlier, I see that now. We both made mistakes and you will, in time, forgive me mine as I have forgiven yours. Second, I couldn't come earlier.' Thor lets him rest on his back while hovering over him, one hand caressing Loki's cheek. 'I couldn't let hope in my heart when Sleipnir said there might be a chance you still live. The Bifrost was destroyed when you..' He sighs. Thor licks his lips before continuing. 'It would have killed me to believe you're still alive and find out you aren't. My life stopped when you left, I couldn't fight anymore.'

'S-Sleipnir?', Loki sniffles. 'He..'

'It's alright, love. I know he is your son and I love him as if he were my own. But let us not talk about him right now. He awaits your return, he never stopped believing.'

A weak smile makes it to his face before he can think about it. Then he frowns at something crossing his mind. 'If the Bifrost was destroyed..'

'I didn't care. I had to come when I knew you are alive.' His thumb touches Loki's lips, tracing their shape.

Loki decides not to dwell on the horrible methods Thor must have used to come to him. 'Why did you believe them?' One of his hands comes up to Thor's neck, to feel he is there, to know he is not alone.

Thor nuzzles into the touch. 'When Heimdall said you killed Midgardians and seek to rule them, all I could hear was you are alive. Love, how could I care about anything else?' He softly shakes his head, a small frown on his face. 'How could I judge any of what you did when you came back, if it meant holding you in my arms again?' Loki tries to see a lie in his face but his eyes convey nothing but honesty seriousness. Tears cloud the blue eyes slightly. 'I could not care what you did or not did. I was too happy. I knew the Mad Titan needs to be stopped but I wouldn't have cared if you wanted Midgard for yourself.', he admits. 'That's why I came alone, to make sure no one hurts you and to bring you home. That's all I wanted. You can have the crown of all the nine realms, I'd give it to you if that is what is needed to get you back at my side. If it is your wish I would conquer them all for you and serve my king in happiness till my last breath. I'd do anything for you to come home, my love. To know you at my side.'

Loki has to look away from the intensity of his gaze. 'I only ever wanted you.', he admits quietly.

Thor slowly bends down until their lips touch. Loki's eyes flutter shut when the blond kisses him softly. He had dreamed so often of this moment, his memories didn't do Thor justice. The kiss reassures Loki of his love, his devotion. It is soft and chaste and still so much more than any kiss they had shared before. Thor's lips keep him grounded, they don't make everything alright, don't clear up all their misunderstandings but it makes everything better and more bearable. He is no longer in on this alone.

'Have you been with anyone?', Thor asks some moments after they break the kiss all too soon, worry and insecurity lacing through his deep voice.

'No. You?', Loki whispers back. Hope shines in emerald green eyes.

'Never. You are the only one I need.' Another soft kiss is pressed on Loki's lips, then Thor lies down on his back. Loki cuddles into his side as strong arms encircle him, just like he had dreamed all these past years. 'Sleep, my love. It has been a long day and you will need your strength. I'm here. I won't go. I won't let you ever go again. You have my word, brother.'

Loki smiles and cuddles even deeper into his arms. Thor continues to whisper sweet nothings into his black hair and soon Loki drifts off to sleep, securely held by him. For the first time no nightmares disrupt his sleep, his knight in shining armor battles them and protects him. Always.


	37. Chapter 36 Normalcy

**Warnings: Violence and Death.**

* * *

Normalcy

 _We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.  
_ _Maya Angelou_

The windows are fogged as the air outside had cooled considerably over night and the Helicarrier is surrounded by clouds. The light is dimmed, rain is sure about to come and still Loki had never seen such a bright day. He stretches his back and legs as he opens his eyes. Thor's arms still hold him close, giving him not much room. The blond is fast asleep, on his face is a little dreamy smile. Loki reaches up to touch the bearded cheek, softly caressing it.

For the first night in an eternity he had slept well, woke up more rested and calm than before he went to bed. His lover's embrace is comforting, warm and familiar. Loki wonders how he ever could fall asleep without it. Not even when seeing Thor had he realized just how much he had longed to be held by him again, how much easier it is to face life with his big brother lying next to him. Not even the threat of Thanos seems half as bad now that Loki can depend on Thor again.

Thor still loves him. He had sworn that. Loki's body tingles with the power and the strength he draws from that knowledge alone. Slowly the blond Asgardian stirs and directs his sleepy smile to Loki.

'Morning, love.' His arms flex and Thor pulls him a little closer. His voice is still husky from sleep. Loki's staring must have awoken him.

'Good morning to you too, my love.', Loki answers, unable to keep the grin from his face.

The blond cups his face, his thumb traces Loki's cheekbone. 'So you do forgive me?'

After everything he still has doubts, Loki thinks. He leans up and kisses Thor on the lips. 'I love you. And missed you greatly. There is nothing to forgive.' Though his words had failed him yesterday when Thor declared his love and devotion, they do not now. Sometimes Thor just knows what to say to shut Loki up. Even now the memory makes Loki's throat constrict from emotions. 'I know how I felt when I lost you. And I knew you were fine. I understand why you did what you did, gave me time to think when I asked for it. It was my fault as well. I kept pushing when I wanted you near.' He takes a deep breath. 'So, I do not need to forgive you. I love you, Thor.'

'Good.' Thor smirks as he pushes Loki into the mattress, hovering over him. 'You are beautiful. In each and every form.', he whispers, stroking black hair. Tender love practically radiates from his gaze alone. He leans down to capture Loki's lips for a kiss. The ravenette smiles and suppresses a chuckle. It feels like no time passed since the last time they could be this carefree. He runs his hand through the blond hair, guiding Thor back down to enjoy kissing his long lost lover some more.

'You know.', he murmurs against soft lips.

'I care not. Loki, you will always be more to me. You will always be family.'

'Thank you, brother.' Loki blinks back tears. Thor leans down to press one last kiss on his lips, then he sighs. Loki strokes his cheek. 'We can talk about this after we saved Midgard.', Loki speaks what both Thor and he think.

Thor nods and stands up, a grim expression settles on his features as if someone had flipped a switch. 'Yes. Have you found out where it is?'

'My magic has returned though it is still weak. But in an inactive state the Tesseract is still almost invisible when I am not already somewhere near it.', Loki explains, sitting up as well. There would be enough time for soft whispered words of love and affection later. As much as he would like to stay in bed and forget about the universe, they got worlds to save.

'Well, then we should speak with the other mortals and assist them with their research, brother.' The grim warrior he is so famous for, surfaces. Loki is glad that though so many things between them changed and will never be the same again, his brother still is there to rely on.

Loki swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands up. Even though he spend his whole life in this body except for such a small time, it still feels glorious and strange at the same time to inhabit it again. Every day he still expects to lose it again, waking up in the female prison and having only dreamed up the past few days.

'Hey, are you alright?', Thor asks. Loki blinks a few times to come back to the present. It doesn't matter what has been and it will do no good to linger on his martyrdom. It won't change what happened nor how he feels about it. And he won't forget about it any time soon, so there will be enough time to think things over after finding the Tesseract.

'No.', he answers honestly. 'But it will be.'

Loki quickly dresses in a new shirt Tony had lend him which he had altered to fit his larger frame. Thor is still in his Asgardian armor. He must have no spare clothes with him, believing a fight with his lover would be all that is in front of him when he left Asgard.

Loki had seen these past two years more than he ever wanted, had experienced torture, death and rebirth, he lost his life and struggled to find a place in his new one, he had found new friends and new enemies. It changed him, if for better or for worse would remain to be seen.

When they reach the lab of Tony, they find that their new comrades in arms had already assembled there. Bruce looks still tired out but much better than the past week. Transforming into the Hulk had taken its toll on him. Lady Natasha's injuries had faded and just determination had been left. Whatever reservations she might have had about stopping her former friend Barton seem to be erased. She usually prowls around the lab now, just waiting for news. Tony types away on his keyboard, not noticing the two men when they enter the room.

'Anything?', Loki asks, not bothering with any formalities.

'What do you think?', Tony answers with a sigh. 'We checked all the satellite pictures of any dessert nearby, ships that are near the coast. They are still hiding.'

'But they won't be for long.', Thor says.

Tony curses and swipes the keyboard off the table. It hits the floor with a loud thud. 'This leads to nothing. As far as we know they could have already build that stupid portal and activated it. God, Selvig certainly is clever enough for that.'

They go through some more satellite pictures, some more readings as the Helicarrier floats through the air but find no sign of anything. It's like they vanished from the Earth. That's when Loki hears it.

An indefinite hum floats through the air. Loki can't place his finger on it, can't quite grasp it. Thor seems to hear, or rather feel it as well though he is not very adapt to the thrum of magic.

'What is that?', Thor asks with a tilt of his head. His eyes almost close as he tries to make sense to it. The others stare at them with confusion.

'What is what, Point Break?' Tony frowns and his eyes flit between Thor and Loki.

'It's the Tesseract.', Loki whispers in answer to his brother. First it had felt vaguely familiar but now he recognizes the feeling. Being in his human body the only other time he had experienced it, it had felt quite different and made identifying the strange hum difficult. But now he is sure to have felt the same energy surging from the cube when it had activated to lend the imposter the strength to cross the distance between the Sanctuary and Midgard.

Tony throws him another annoyed glance. Loki sighs and explains. 'We feel it, it is being activated.'

'Damn. Can you feel where it is?' His eyes brighten up as this new thought crosses his mind. Thor closes his eyes, his brow furrows in concentration.

'Yes. It is still weak but that means we still got some time. Will you help me, brother?' Thor opens his eyes and nods. Doubt is evident on his face, he doesn't think he'll be of great use to Loki. If he just would know how weak the ravenette still feels when it comes to magic. He and Thor draw back. Loki has the nagging feeling he already knows where the slaves of the scepter went.

Though Thor is not very skillful in the use of magic, he still possesses quite a lot of potential. As Loki begins to meditate he takes Thor's hands and slowly draws a little bit of energy from him and starts to follow the hum that's in the air and is getting more pronounced by the minute. Not even ten minutes later he opens his eyes and they look at each other. Loki's suspicions were merely confirmed. Thor looks exhausted but nothing that will hinder him greatly.

'The Tesseract is at your Tower.', Loki informs the brunet man when they rush back into the laboratory.

'You aren't serious, right? That son of a bitch!' Tony's confusion turns into rage.

'Barton must have known all about your new Tower. It's in the middle of the city, in the center of attention and it's probably the only building nearby with a reactor strong enough to power up the cube.', Loki explains as the mortal paces up and down, clearly too agitated to speak.

'We must go at once. It is powering up already.', Thor reminds them.

Natasha sighs and shakes her head.'The Helicarrier is too slow. It would take hours.'

'Where are we?'

'Somewhere over the Atlantic.', she answers.

'Well, then it's just us.' Tony shrugs. 'Best we have right now.'

Within minutes they have informed the Director and the Captain and are already devising a plan to get there. Tony suggested one of the smaller Quinjets. Half an hour later everyone is on board. Fury isn't very happy about them going alone but had to accept the necessity. As the engines come to life, Loki feels the familiar surge of adrenaline that always comes with battle.

'This will be a glorious battle, my friends!' Thor's voice carries through the small aerial vehicle. Loki rolls his eyes about the boisterousness of Thor but a fond smile still creeps on his lips. This feels just like the old times, like nothing changed, like they were still teens pretending to understand the workings of Yggdrasil. He can't help but feel not anxious but excited about the upcoming battle. It has been a while since Loki had been in a real fight where he would not have to hold back and be able to rid himself of any aggression and tension. And Thanos had made sure there are a lot of both in him.

The mortals don't feel the same call for battle, he assumes, as they seem to brood over something, are tense and reserved. None of them share the heightening vibe. Thor begins to retell old battle stories, laughs about old jokes and generally tries to lighten the mood. Loki feels infected by his high spirits.

The flight takes some hours but Thor just gets more and more excited. Asgard hadn't been at war in a long time. Loki draws back after a while to have some last peace before the storm. He misses his potions as they would grant him agility, strength and stamina, things he would now have to use magic for to gain. It is weak but fortunately they are not up against an enemy knowing the workings. Maybe Loki could still be of use. His main task is to close the portal or prevent it from being opened at all. How he is supposed to archive that, he doesn't know yet.

'Love.' Loki turns around to see Thor standing in the doorway, closing it behind him. The ravenette finds himself engulfed in his arms.

'I love you.'

'And I love you.', he answers. 'Promise me to be careful.'

Thor pulls back a little. 'I will never part from you again, Loki. Never.', he swears and kisses his lover.

xXxXx

They all sit in the small Quinjet in tense silence. Except for the Asgardians none of them had ever fought an intergalactic battle and are accordingly nervous. Tony himself is no stranger to a fight but he never had to fight non-humans, much less had to fight to save the whole planet and its inhabitants from extinction.

Tony might not have admitted it but he would have felt better if SHIELD would come to New York as well to help them. Their stupid weapons suddenly don't seem to be such a bad idea anymore. At least that would have stopped the intruders. If he is honest he is not sure if their 'team of misfits' as the false Loki had put it, has it in it to win this desperate fight. And how he is supposed to feel about the little Hawk choosing Tony's home as their military base, he isn't sure.

Hopefully Barton and Selvig had not harmed Jarvis because he is sure his AI would have never permit them entrance after what happened at the NASA base. But Tony fears they might have used that magical scepter to gain entrance by force. He hadn't been able to get into contact with his AI for the communicator in his suit was destroyed beyond repair and with his other methods he hadn't gotten any response for the past few hours. Tony is scared for his friend though it makes little sense and he is on pins and needles.

Loki had expressed his worry about getting the men fighting against them their minds back when this is all over. The scepter is powerful enough to make a god mortal and it had drained him enough to prevent him from fighting back, what chance does a human has? Barton and Selvig are friends for them, and though they are currently working for the foe, the team cannot wait to get them back to their side.

'Can you get me to the top of my tower or at least quite close to it?', he asks Natasha who is steering the Quinjet. He still tries to fix his suit but most of the parts are too damaged though Tony has brought the systems back online. He desperately needs his newest suit if he should stand a chance in the upcoming battle.

'I'll try.' The red haired woman looks at the shattered helmet in his hands, understanding the necessity. They don't know where exactly the cube is in the Tower and how heavily it is guarded. Tony is confident the Mark VI would get him through the worst trouble but without the others a few of Barton's arrows might just stop him without Tony having contact to Jarvis before going in there.

'Good, but don't get to close, you don't need to get into unnecessary danger. Just, save the city.' He tries a weak smile but it won't quite reach his eyes.

'What about Loki? He wants to shut down the portal if they already opened it.' She clenches her jaw and forces the words out.

'He will find another way. Short distance teleporting is no problem, he said.' Briefly his curiosity awakens and he wishes they'd be back at the lab so he could dissect what Loki calls 'magic'. But one thing at a time. 'The Asgardian brothers probably will just part if absolutely necessary.'

'You can't go in alone.', she decides.

Steve steps behind Tony. 'I'll go with him.'

'No, Cap, the city needs you more. I just need to get my suit, then I can defend myself.' He scratches the back of his neck. He would just need to get into contact with Jarvis, then his AI would send him his suit and he would be able to maybe defend his Tower and keep the little Hawk and Selvig from accessing the arc-reactor at all. Then maybe there would be no fight against freaking alien-y humans after all.

'I can take the elevator down, you build in the middle of the city, there they will be the most hostiles.', Spangles reasons. He crosses his arms as if daring Tony to reject his offer.

'Good plan, Captain Rogers. Stark, we shouldn't go on our own.', Romanov agrees immediately. Sighing Tony agrees and readies his completely damaged suit. Fortunately the Mark VI could be activated once more but it is otherwise not battle ready. Too many systems are still offline for it to be of much use in a battle. Tony would have to lie to say he'd stand a chance against Bruce when he is not the Hulk.

The hours creep by slowly with the rising sun. They are all worried of what they might find in New York but Loki reassures them that the portal hasn't been activated, the cube is still sucking up the energy and is powering up. When the city finally comes into sight around an hour after noon, Tony breathes a sigh of relief. SHIELD decided against evacuating the city since the team needs to arrive in stealth mode to at least have a chance to stop this whole thing from happening. And till three hours ago it had been impossible to say where the invasion would start. The people would have panicked or simply ignored the threat, treating it as a hoax.

Natasha flies over the city, rapidly nearing the Tower. A lot of persons seem to stand on the roof along with a strange machinery but she flies lower to where she has more space to drop the two men off.

The Quinjet hovers over the outside area of his apartment. Already people clad in protective armor rush out of the doors onto the platform and fire at the hovering vehicle. Steve throws up his shield and repels some of the bullets with it though most of them are brought of course from the slipstream of the Quinjet. Tony doesn't doubt that either of them is a good shot, otherwise Barton would not have chosen them to defend the Tower.

'I can't bring you further down!', Romanov yells over the rushing of the wind. Tony nods in her direction and places his helmet on his head though he refrains from pulling the face plate down. The interface isn't working anyway, this way he at least will see where he goes. The repulsors come online as Cap jumps down the remaining meters and rolls over to catch his fall. Tony is right behind him, trying to keep himself up with just three repulsors, all not working properly. Several people shoot at him as the Quinjet lifts off again.

A vibration goes through the air. That and a bullet that hits one of his boots finally bring Tony to the ground. He falls and rolls over his shoulder which is not working optimally. It sure is going to bruise but the brunet man fights himself up and already has to defend himself as several man try to tackle him. Cap is fighting three men at once some meters away. Tony has to remind himself that these men aren't fighting them free willingly and he really, really shouldn't hurt them. The blond is knocking them unconscious with that shield of his, Tony already feels the strength of his suit fading.

The red, white and blue shield claims one of his opponents when he knocks another one over. Together they quickly make their way towards the doors as more and more men pour out of the doors.

Tony hears the shouts and glances up for a brief moment, before rushing inside. The picture still burns itself onto his retina, he still sees it in front of him as he pushes aside some of the hostiles, evades them or tries to fight in his damaged suit. A black hole had opened in the clear blue sky, undefinable objects flying out of it. It looked surreal, like from a bad horror movie. Unfortunately that nightmare is their reality. The portal is open. Cursing silently he continues to fight.

'Jarvis!', he yells up to the ceiling, panting as he tries to hold his ground against a (probably) trained assassin. The man manages to cut with his knife the wiring of Tony's right arm, effectively paralyzing it. Damn his heavy suit design.

'Sir?' The familiar voice lets his heart beat faster. It is weak though, just coming from one speaker in the far corner.

Tony knocks back the man and tries to shrug off his suit. The man already scrambles back to his feet but Tony runs down to his lab. 'Ready the Mark VII!'

'Right away, Sir.' His friend sounds happy, maybe even grateful that Tony is there. 'I was able to keep them out of your workshop but they have reached the reactor. Dr. Selvig..'

'I know, pal. I saw. Just, get me a working suit!'

The big man tackles him from behind. Where Steve is he doesn't know. Tony tries to keep the knife away from his throat. The ghastly blue eyes of the man are fixed on him, some blood trickled down his temple. He looks mad and possessed.

'Sir, it is just a prototype.', Jay reminds him.

'I don't care!', Tony yells past the man attempting to slice his throat. 'Just get it here!'

The suit knocks the man off him when it arrives some moments later, crashing through a wall. Tony jumps up and quickly tosses the remaining parts of his old suit away. Jarvis readies the suit and opens it so when Tony finally pulls the last remnants of his beloved Mark VI from his body, he immediately steps into the waiting suit. The elevator dings as soon as the helmet slots into place and Jarvis pulls up the interface. A whole bunch of armed men run out and immediately start shooting. Tony tells Jarvis to get contact to the others and starts his repulsors. To hurt the men would be no real option. Tony lifts off and turns in the direction of the windows. A black swarm of somethings spreads over the city. He loses no further time and hurls himself out of his apartment, leaving it to the men. Later would be enough time to take care of them.

The com cracks online. 'Where are you, Cap?'

Grunting can be heard on the other side. 'Stark? Are you alright? I am downstairs.'

'I'm fine, get outside. We can take care of this later.'

Steve agrees and Tony hears the noise of fighting slowly fade away. He flies of the edge of the outside area of his Tower and takes a look around, then heads up towards the center of attention. The black hole in the sky is still there, pouring black undefinable objects out into this world.

Tony hadn't realized how much he had missed his friend in a fight at his side. The familiar voice informs him of incoming vehicles. Tony catches a better look of them as he flies next to one. They look like gliders, steered by three of those creatures. A kind of armor covers their faces, otherwise they are of hideous appearance. They are tall, pale and Tony figures he doesn't want to know what's beneath the mask. Jarvis runs a scan of the vehicles and finds him a weak spot. The metal coating the machines that make these things fly is thicker than he anticipated but a well-aimed repulsor ray to the back of it brings the Chitauri down.

Unfortunately they don't stay down that easily though falling from a hundred feet usually proves to be enough. The people on the streets are fleeing and in uproar. Screaming they point up into the sky, some are too paralyzed to run away. Tony sighs. He has to get the hostiles away from the civilians before the innocent citizens of New York are attacked. The creatures fortunately see him as the bigger threat and try to eliminate him but there are enough that start attacking the buildings and cars on the street.

Tony flies by his building once more and spots the machinery on the top of it. It appears to power the portal. Though he has no illusions about it, he fires to shots in the direction of it. They merely bounce off the energy ball surrounding it and disappear into the crowded sky. Well, that's that then, Tony thinks. A deep resonating sound is carried through the speakers of the helmet. The foghorn like sound makes him stop in midflight.

Out of the portal comes.. well, something. If Tony were supposed to name it he'd go for a gigantic whale. That floats through the air. And has integrated weapon systems.

'Guys, do you see that too?', he asks with a slightly shaky voice, hoping he might just be imagining things or that the visor of the Mark VII might be malfunctioning. Jarvis already shows him the results of the first scan. Long silence replaces the fighting noises of the others as everyone tries to comprehend what exactly they are seeing.

'Leviathans.', Loki whispers over the com.

'Fuck, so they are real? How do we kill them?', Tony asks as Jay can't spot any weak points.

The same awkward silence stretches again. 'No idea. Their armors are powered by the warships but they are not on this side of the portal.'

'What do you mean?', Rogers interrupts him.

Loki sighs. 'They are not able to breath Midgard's air, they can't survive here without their armor. The energy of that armor as well as that for the Chitauri comes from their main ship.'

'So if we destroy that ship..'

'It is on the other side.' Blasts are heard, then some slashing of a blade. Loki pants heavily. 'It is impossible to get there.'

His own weapon systems barely scratch that thing but the Hulk soon gets involved with it. Just when he and Thor bring that beast down and more Chitauri pour from its belly, Jarvis informs him of an incoming message.

'Stark!' An alarmed voice cracks in over the com. He recognizes the voice as Maria Hill.

'What is up?', he asks, shooting some other aliens in midflight. They start to crawl up the buildings and threaten the inhabitants. There are just too many to shoot them all or to even make much of a difference. By now he sees that six people just aren't enough to fight back an entire fleet of cybernetic advanced beings and their whales. If his team mates don't find a way to close that damned portal soon, the city will be flooded and they overrun.

He hears her breathing hard over the com, trying to calm herself. Her voice still seeps with panic and worry. 'Tony, there is a nuke heading for the city.'

xXx

'Lady Romanov, come up to the roof of Stark Tower.' Loki sounds stressed over the com. He must be more exhausted than he lets on, as all of them.

The fight had been going for what feels like hours and more Chitauri keep pouring out of the portal by the minute. Natasha had been busy trying to get the civilians out of the way, Cap had joined her not long after she had been forced to leave the Quinjet due to some critical damage it had sustained when the aliens began their attack. Fending of these creatures with their own weapons is much more effective than with her tasers and stingers. Their armor seems to be too robust for that to cause a lot of damage. She had obtained one of the spear-like guns and is shooting the aliens with them.

Natasha immediately steers the glider she had taken from the Chitauri to the Tower, losing no time in asking what had happened. All the while she still tries to shoot other enemies out of the sky and evade them in return. Loki vanishes the second he sets eyes on her. Selvig sits on a chair next to a strange machinery, his head rests in his palms. Loki had stood right next to him to make sure his friend is not alone before helping where he is needed more sorely. She chooses to ignore his staggering and goes over to Eric.

'Dr. Selvig?' She slowly approaches the man. He startles up and she notes that his eyes are no longer of that ghastly blue. He looks confused and sad, his shoulders are slumped. 'I am Natasha Romanov.'

He looks around, the desperate hope vanishes from his eyes when he sees that Loki is gone. 'How bad is it?', he asks, almost choking on the words.

Wordless she looks up as the portal is exactly above their heads. The vehicles of the Chitauri still pour out of it, somewhere in the dark sky that is visible through the window to the other side of space she spots one of these gigantic whales in armor. He follows her gaze and draws a deep breath.

'Is there a way to close it?', Natasha asks when he rises to his feet.

'Loki already tried to close it by force. It didn't work. The energy barrier is too strong.' Eric points at the discarded scepter lying on the ground. Natasha curses silently. That had been Loki's only idea as how to access the cube to power it down. That's why he had sounded so grave, he had given up the attempt before he would waste his remaining strength in trying to access the cube and instead help his companions in fighting the incoming enemy and maybe make a difference.

Selvig rubs his face as if to wake himself further. Natasha goes a little closer but he immediately holds her back, placing a hand on her arm. Then a thought seems to cross his mind.

'The scepter doesn't go through, the energy barrier keeps out everything powerful. That's why Loki could not cross the line but an ordinary human being isn't stopped by it.' He swallows hard.

'So we could shut it down?', she asks for confirmation. Selvig nods. 'But there is a problem.'

He nods rigid. 'But it will incinerate flesh within seconds. Though, we could maybe close it like that. There is a way to power it down.' Eric takes a deep breath. 'I will do it.'

'No.', Natasha decides. 'We need to find another way.' They had lost enough lives already today, not one more if there would be any way around it.

'There is no other way.'

'Then I'll do it.' She is a trained assassin, she was trained to die should it ever be necessary. Natasha is no innocent civilian, she is prepared to lay down her life for this world as it would maybe be enough to erase all the red in her ledger.

Eric shakes his head. 'It is impossible, we don't have enough time for me to explain this to you, just tell the others we are ready to close it, just don't mention the how.', he asks of her.

'Eric..'

'It is my fault it even exists.', the scientist interrupts her. 'I build it, I am at fault. It is my call to make.'

'It's not your fault, Eric. They forced you.'

'No, Miss Romanov, this is not for you to decide. Tell them.' He faces the strange devise and straightens his back. Natasha sees the determination in his gaze. She closes her eyes briefly before she tells Steve that they have found a way to close the portal.

xXx

'Rogers, we can close the portal, do you copy?' Romanov's voice sounds strange over the com. Steve beats another of the Chitauri to the dust.

'Copy that.', he answers as more of these creatures close in on him. He reflects their blasts with his shield but more and more keep coming. 'Then do it.'

'Wait.' Stark sounds distressed. Doesn't he realize they are already losing this battle? Steve had seen enough of war to know that they won't be able to fight off these masses for long. A blast hits the blond in the back and makes him lose his balance. 'There is a nuke heading for the city, Rogers.' His words nearly paralyze Steve but he rolls over and stands once again just as one of the creatures throws itself at him. 'And I know just where to put it.'

The fight momentarily distracts Steve. The nuke still won't leave his mind. Who would have agreed to such a thing? There are millions here in the city and he doubts the bomb would close the portal permanently. The damage it would inflict on the enemy is minimal. The Tesseract is too powerful to be destroyed, the Chitauri too many to actually care about the losses. Just new ones would come through the portal and start to destroy what's left before moving on to other cities with no one being here to stop them anymore.

Steve is near the center of the invasion, almost at the foot of Stark Tower. They have been able to contain the aliens until now but it won't be long until they just ignore the tired heroes and move on to other parts of the city and world. Getting the civilians out of harms way had been their highest priority. He looks up briefly when he hears the whooshing sound of a speeding missile.

Tony rockets up into the sky, right over the top of the skyscrapers. The nuke speeds him up even more until all Steven can see is a red streak heading for the Tower. He almost forgets that the fight around him is still going on as he stares up into the sky to follow his friends with his eyes. Just his reflexes make him raise his shield in time to parry another blast off before it hits him again. Steve's attention is drawn back to the battle and the advancing Chitauri around him. Though the suit keeps off most of the hits he had taken, the blasts from those energy weapons really hurt.

The Captain would have thought fighting humans would weight more heavily on his consciousness but their whole demeanor is nothing like anything he had ever seen. The Chitauri don't remind him of humans at all, so Steve finds it easy to push the little fact about their origin aside.

When he looks up again after killing three of these monsters Tony has gone alongside the nuke. Steve scans the sky again but can't see anything apart from the black hole in the sky, Chitauri still pouring out of it.

'Cap! We need to act now.', Natasha reminds him after some moments. She doesn't sound more happy about this matter than he is.

Damn. Come on, Tony. Steve gets nervous before he closes his eyes to focus. Tony wouldn't want the world to end because of himself. The amount of ships still coming from the hole tell his soldier side what he needs to know. Tony would already be back if he'd still be alive. The nuke would explode any moment now and still contaminate the city should the portal still be open by then.

'Close it.' He keeps his eyes closed when he orders the death of his friend.

xXx

Tony and the Captain jump from their Quinjet at the Tower when Loki feels the new spike in energy around him. Thor turns to him with worry in his eyes. They are too late, crosses Loki's mind. The portal is already opening. When the vehicle goes down due to the attack of the Chitauri Loki teleports the remaining Avengers out of the vehicle instead of going straight to the machinery on top of Stark Tower. Without the scepter he doubts he can do much anyway.

He would have never thought he'd see these creatures again that were responsible for so much of his pain. Loki felt weak for the first few minutes but the energy the Tesseract emits had revived him. Now is not the time to despair but to fight and show Thanos that he can't have everything.

'Ready, brother?', Thor asks as they stand on the roof of a building, watching the invasion begin for real.

Loki merely nods.

Natasha is brought to the ground by Thor who afterwards lifts off with Mjolnir to destroy as many of the oncoming ships as possible. Dr. Banner doesn't require any help, the rage of the Hulk is this time directed at the right people. Soon enough the small ships reach them and the Chitauri jump of them to start attacking the humans. Hulk smashes whatever of them gets into his hands.

Loki wears his old battle attire though it had been defiled by the imposter. He would have to get a new one as soon as possible but for now it would have to do. His daggers are still hidden away. The small blades help him greatly with his plan of attack. One after one he teleports onto the small ships flying through the city to kill its passengers. His magic drains quickly so he figures out how to fly the gliders and leads the following Chitauri to places where he can kill them with one bigger magic blast instead of small ones.

An arrow almost hits him in the face. In the last moment he swerves to the left to prevent the glider he is flying from crashing into another. Within seconds he spots the source of the arrow as another one comes flying his way. A flick of his wrist and it instead kills the pilot of another glider.

He teleports the last distance and manages to grab onto Barton's bow before another arrow can be send his way. Loki yanks it from the blond archer. He hates using Barton as his lab rat but when he grabs a hold of him and forces the blue eyes to look at him, he knows that he has to. The blond won't give him the information he needs without making a fuss for which Loki has no time.

His magic reaches out into the occupied mind, looking for the connection to the scepter and eventually cut it. Barton tries to draw back immediately but Loki holds on to him. His eyes snap open and he sees the distrust and confusion in the blond's gaze. 'Where is the scepter.'

Barton still tries to get away. 'You're on their side.' Right, Loki thinks. His last clear memory is that of Loki attacking a military base. The Chitauri are attacking the city in the background.

'No more than you are, Clint. Now tell me where the scepter is.', Loki demands, finally letting go of him. He crosses his arms and waits.

Barton seems uncertain but eventually he relents and tells the ravenette where in the Tower he had put the scepter. 'I have killed people, haven't I?' Slowly be remembers some fragments of the time he spend under control of Thanos. His memories of that time will always be blurry but hopefully vanish with time.

'Well,it's time to correct that.', he merely says. He taps his ear to activate the communicator. 'Barton is on our side. I'll bring him to you, Lady Natasha.' He deactivates the com to not hear the doubting voices. 'Time to prove your worth, little Hawk, and no time to doubt or to regret. You can do that later. Right now, we need you.'

Barton nods. Loki takes a hold of his arm and searches out the red haired assassin, finding her in the streets a few hundred yards away from the Tower. She casts a weary look at the blond but accepts his help easily. A lot of explanations would be needed but there is time for that later.

Loki teleports into the Tower and fights the few guards of the scepter that are left. At the top of the building the people had drawn back when Loki attacked them downstairs. Just Eric is left. Freeing him from the spell and figuring out that the scepter and his magic are of no use to close the portal, he calls Natasha and leaves to help fighting the intruders. There are more and more pouring out. Somewhere the thunder rolls when Thor kills one of the Leviathans. Loki trembles but the adrenaline pumping through his body keeps him standing.

When Loki hears they can close the portal it itches on his tongue to ask how. The scepter had proven to be useless in that matter, so how had the mortal figured out a way to close it when he himself hadn't? But he chooses to leave it alone for now. Something tells him he doesn't want to know.

Somewhere in the back of his mind that isn't occupied with fighting and staying alive, he hears Tony's risky plan to put the nuke through the portal. It's so crazy it might just work but then the feed to him is cut. Loki nearly rips off the head of the next despicable creature that comes his way when Rogers orders the portal to be closed. The ravenette knows he is right but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

When suddenly the Chitauri drop to the ground in unison, Loki knows it worked. He looks up to see the portal growing smaller and there is still no sign of Tony. Probably at the last possible second a red and golden form falls through and speeds up towards the earth. Loki tries to summon his magic but the rest had been used in the fight to enhance his reflexes and strength. All he can do is watch Tony fall out of the sky. Hulk jumps to his safety but he doesn't doubt it was still no nice landing.

Loki almost collapses when Tony's voice sounds over the com, asking for a break and some stupid snacks. A light-hearted laugh leaves his lips. Within minutes Loki is picked up by Thor and they fly to the Tower, all drained enough to sleep one week straight. Thinking becomes an almost impossible task as the adrenaline leaves his system.

The apartment is damaged beyond repair so they sit down on the floor to discuss the battle and decide what to do next. They are all battered and could do with some rest. Natasha walks into the room some moments after Loki had leaned into Thor's side. He is tired out, barely able to keep his eyes open. The past weeks finally take their toll. Thanos is fought back for now and Loki finally allows himself to relax. The dead bodies of the Chitauri may still rest down there in the city but sooner or later this nightmare would be over for everyone.

'Where is Eric?', Loki asks, his head still resting on Thor's shoulder but his eyes open once more. He hadn't seen him in Tony's apartment and wonders where Natasha took him to keep him safe. When she doesn't answer a cold despair claws at his heart and he sits up completely. 'Natasha, where is he?', he asks again with more emphasis.

She swallows but her face stays in the well known masque. 'He's dead.'

xXxXxXx

 **Hello!**

 **Just some small notes. As some of you probably already have seen, there is a small companion piece out for this story. It is not necessary that you read it but if you like Stony you might give it a try. It probably won't be mentioned here ever. Or maybe just on the side. :)**

 **Second of all, I actually planned this story to end with the Avengers movie (meaning like 4 to 5 chapters left) but a review actually inspired me and made me realize: I don't want this story to end with the plot thread of Thanos unresolved so this story will be much longer, I fear, than I originally intended. Yeah, just so you know. Furthermore I will probably change the category for this story since it is more of a cross-over by now. To give you some time I will do this next week at the earliest.**

 **This was my first fight scene and I hope it was bearable. So please, be not too harsh about it. Reviews are really welcome, I would love you forevermore. Thank you for all your support. I am happy for every reader :3  
**


	38. Chapter 37 Reparation

Reparation

 _There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.  
Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear _

They have Jane flown in the first thing the same evening and hold a small memorial service on the roof of Stark Tower the next morning at sunrise. Natasha had told them what Eric had done to shut the portal down. There is no body left to bury so they all gather at the place he gave his life for them.

Thor hadn't known him but Loki, Jane and Stark had been friends with the elderly scientist. They were shocked by his sudden death, especially since there had been no time to say good bye. When she arrived Loki had to comfort his friend and deal with his own grief at the same time. The fight had drained all of them greatly but when Loki's skin began to get a blue tinge, Thor intervened and insisted on them all going to bed. There finally the ravenette had let go of every pent up emotion he had suppressed in the past few hours. The blond had to comfort his brother half of the night until he finally fell asleep in his arms, completely exhausted.

From this vantage point in the first light of the day Thor sees the destruction the invasion had caused. The golden sun mocks the still smoldering buildings, the empty streets and the debris lying everywhere. An eery silence had settled over the city which had found destruction not twenty four hours ago. Somewhere further away from the Tower the blond sees the corpse of a giant Leviathan having fallen onto a building. He had noticed already during the fight the damage done to the city but seeing it from above and without a layer of tiredness clouding his senses, it looks truly devastating. The whole night the Man of Iron and Captain America had been in the streets to help the rescue forces with the recovery but eventually exhaustion had settled over them as well when the adrenaline had subsided. Loki had wanted to help as well, probably also in an attempt to distract himself like Stark, but Thor had kept him home, using Jane's sadness as a pretext. He already looked ready to faint when they had come to the parlor of Stark's chambers and the message of Eric's death had made him desolate. Thor had flown him and the three mortals to Stark's Mansion where the brunet man asked them to rest for the moment for the Tower had gotten quite damaged during the fight and would need repairs before it'd be habitable again. The late afternoon all through the evening Thor had helped the two heroes with the rescue of humans but as the night fell he deemed his lover and his friends more important. He had seen his share of war and knows that tired warriors are of not much help after the fight.

Loki keeps his composure during the memorial, even comforts Jane by slinging an arm around her shoulders when she starts crying again. His face is set in a masque, years of being taught how to behave like a prince have formed it, it shows exactly the perfect amount of dignity and underlying sadness. Thor takes his hand halfway through Stark's words, the only one who seems to be able to speak no matter the circumstances, as he talks about his colleague, knowing that Loki would cry later as well, away from prying eyes. Loki squeezes his hand back in a silent thank you.

The next days pass quickly enough. After the city mourned their dead for two days the repairs started. Thor volunteered immediately to help the mortals in cleaning up their city and rebuilding what has been lost. Usually he would not do this, he is a warrior, a prince. It is not his task to clean up the mess he prevented. But he feels that he owes this to the people of Midgard.

Stark and Captain Rogers come with him. Loki would have liked to come as well but Thor forces him to rest a few days before helping them for he used up all his magic and is still so weak Thor fears he will overexert himself before he is content with his day's work. He had never been like the blond in that matter. Thor can accept that he cannot help everyone and stop all the suffering. Some things need time and to overexert himself physically and emotionally won't do the Midgardians any good. But after one week not even Thor's worst threats keep Loki from helping getting rid of the debris, healing people in the 'hospitals' and design stuff with Stark in the evenings that will help the mortals restore their homes or to improve their standards. He wants to thank Stark with this for having offered them a home and friendship. And though the mortal brushes it off, he is quite grateful and flattered.

They stay in Stark's Mansion in the outskirts of the city. It barely had been damaged during to its position and offers more than enough space for the whole team Stark had invited to stay for as long as they want, for none of them have a home close by.

More than two weeks after the invasion, Thor finally pulls himself together to approach the subject his heart had been longing for. The repairs have been coming along greatly and the mortals will not need their help anymore to do the rest.

'Loki, love?'

'Yes?' He turns around with a smile Thor can't help but return.

'I was thinking about home. We could go back now, the threat is banished for now.' Thor doesn't want to let on just how much he misses Asgard and everything they left behind. He misses the summer breeze which is sure to strive over the land by now, the cool water and the desolation of their secret rendezvous point, their friends and family. He had been away on missions before but never had he longed to be back home as much as now. Maybe because he starts to feel a kind of connection to this place, maybe because for the first time he isn't sure if he would ever see his home again. Years ago Thor had agreed to leave Asgard and everyone on it behind for Loki, had even been the one suggesting it.

Loki chews on his lip. 'I don't know.'

'Do you not want to return?', he asks, trying to sound unconcerned though Thor voices his greatest fear.

'Yes, I do want to. But..' The ravenette sighs. 'I mean, I miss it. Asgard will always be my home but I am in no rush to return. There were a lot of things that I should have dealt with upon returning two years ago. I didn't have much time to think about the changes that will necessarily need to happen.' He huffs out a breath in an attempt to mock his own fears. 'I left as a Prince and I return as the enemy, a rumored murderer.' Thor wants to contradict him but as far as he knows the last words Asgard had heard about their youngest prince were that he tried to conquer an underdeveloped world. 'I would.. like to stay just for a little while.', he immediately adds when he sees the slight hurt Thor can't keep out of his face. 'I-I just need some time to think about what happened. Just a short while.', he asks.

Thor stands up and pulls Loki into an embrace. 'Everything you want, love.', he says with difficulty. 'But there is nothing you need to fear. You saved a planet, out nine realms as well. You are a hero. And no one knows of your true parentage apart from Father, Mother, Sleipnir, our friends and Laufey.'

'Laufey?' Loki takes a step back. Thor's hands rest on his upper arms.

'We are no longer at war, brother. All thanks to you.'

'Thanks to my death, you mean.', he mutters darkly but accepts Thor's arms again. 'What did he say?', Loki asks softly, face hidden in the crook of Thor's neck.

'He would like to meet you.' He relies to Loki everything that had happened during his absence. 'I do not believe Sleipnir knows yet that Laufey knows that he is your son.'

Some tears wet Loki's face, a sight that Thor had become to accustomed to lately, but he brushes them away. 'Soon. But not now. I need my strength for a travel like that.' The blond can see the longing in the emerald green eyes, and also the anxiety. He misses home just as much as Thor does but is afraid of what he might find.

Thor sees through the transparent lie as they had already agreed to travel with the Tesseract but he says nothing, just pulls him into a soft kiss. 'I love you.'

'I love you too, Thor.'

Despite his wish to go home and the destruction and emotionally demanding reparations of the city, Thor finds himself being more happy than he had been in years, maybe even ever. Loki is back at his side, no sword of Damocles hangs over them anymore and this time the end isn't already in sight at the beginning. It feels like old times when they had not a care in the world when Loki smiles at him across the table or takes his hand. Maybe this is their chance for happiness. Thor carries a bright smile on his face at all times of the day now. This time they have a chance for the happy ever after and that makes everything even better than the time Loki first told him that he loves him.

The blond has to admit that it is good to finally not have to hide anymore. Thor usually sits right next to Loki, one arm draped around his slim shoulders, not having to care about any pretenses, and none of their friends care. They can be together, openly at last.

Loki is happy as well, had even pulled out the silver and red ring again and wears it proudly. He smiles and helps where he can, he puts up a brave masque to not worry anyone. Still, the ravenette is far from being okay though he reassures Thor he will soon be. Every loud noise startles him or he at least flinches violently. The nights are still the worst for him and more often than not Thor has to hold the ravenette while he cries himself to sleep.

After their initial conversation Thor doesn't bring up the theme of going home again. Pressing his brother will just drive him further away from home, so Thor even keeps their family mostly off limits. But apparently that isn't needed.

Loki is lounging on the sofa, his feet propped up in Thor's lap. It is a Sunday and they all take a well-deserved break by relaxing in the living room. Stark had been prodding at them the whole day to find out more about their lives in Asgard, about the technology they are using and about their family. When the conversation comes to Loki's adoption, the ravenette had acquired a book and decidedly ignored the ongoing discussion. Thor had explained the matter to the scientist after checking that Loki would not mind. Stark seems to be able to rely to Loki's relationship with Odin, and is upset about the secrecy but refrains from judging. Loki continues to pretend that he is indeed not listening nor does he engage in the conversation anymore. Thor still feels uncomfortable talking about Loki's and his private affairs and changes the topic rather quickly.

Stark takes down some notes about Thor's description of the energy weapons the guards are using, and though the blond is sure Loki could have explained their workings far better, he had kept out of it, still pretending to read. Thor nudges his foot to gain his attention.

'Why..', Thor stops himself, trying to find a way to voice his question properly.

'Why what?' Loki looks up from the book, green eyes are trained on him.

'Why did you never tell me about Sleipnir?' Until now Thor had kept the conversation away from that particular person but he just has to know. The question had been on his mind for some time, ever since he found out about the tall young man. It should be a question for a private conversation but Thor is sure Loki would evade it anyway. The nagging suspicion that his lover had kept the information from him because of lacking trust, isn't brushed away easily.

'Sleipnir? Who's that?', Stark chimes in immediately, packing away his notes.

'My son.' Loki answers mechanically. His eyes are looking on something neither of them can see. A sadness Thor wants to dispel, settles on his features. Thor asks himself if he pushed too far.

The mortal frowns. 'Point Break makes is sound like he didn't know he existed.', he lets the statement dangle in the air like a question.

'It was not my decision, Tony!', Loki snaps. He glares at the man and clenches his fists, sitting up completely. 'Do you think I wanted my son to grow up without his mother? Norns, I was barely of age.' He stands up with a pained expression on his face. 'Father- Odin didn't react as I thought he would when I told him. It was one mistake, one night I let my emotions get the better of me. A night I don't even remember.', he admits, shaking his head. 'But I wanted the child, however, he just took it away from me.' Anger, resentment and bitterness enter the smooth voice. 'He said it would be a disgrace having children outside of marriage as a Prince, not to mention birthing them. I couldn't tell Mother nor Thor. We were.. not very close and I thought they'd despise me for this. Odin forbid me to ever speak about this matter or he would send Sleipnir off to another realm and I would never see him again. He was my father, he had powers I could not imagine and I never doubted he would find a way to hide him from me.' Loki sounds desperate as he asks them to understand. 'He forbid me to even visit him. My own son! It broke my heart every day to know Odin paraded around with him, the wonder with the eight legs, a gift from the Norns to the All-father as a sign, the fastest horse the nine realms had ever seen. I hated him for that, I never forgave him even after he allowed me to see him. My poor baby..' His voice drops in volume. 'I tried to make him enjoy our meetings the best I could.'

'Eight legs? What..?', Stark asks, ignoring the dark glare Thor turns on him.

Loki closes his eyes and sighs deeply. 'I don't expect you to remember.' He turns to Thor who quietly watches him. 'It was your thousandth birthday.' He sighs and evades their gaze. 'You were..', Loki stops but Thor nods to tell him he doesn't need to say it. He doesn't remember much of that night but he is quite sure there had been more than one maiden clinging on him and that he hadn't ignored them. 'I drank too much, I thought I could let go for one evening and maybe drown the misery of my life. Well, I woke up in the stables. The night never came back to me.'

'Kazimierz?' The name of Thor's horse rolls from his lips. Somehow he hopes he is wrong but knows he isn't.

Loki nods shortly with a snort. 'Stupid, I know. Still, it made me feel closer to the person I wanted to be with.'

'A horse?', Stark asks for confirmation with raised eyebrows. 'How?' He is intrigued despite obviously being slightly irritated.

Loki points at himself. 'Shape-shifter. My son was birthed by me in the form of a mare. I don't if it was my magic or just some mishap because I transformed during the pregnancy, but he had eight legs. Everyone thought him deformed and unable to live. He proved them all wrong. He was the fastest horse from the very first moment.' A fond smile graces his feaatures.

He pauses for some moments. 'He was two years old when he changed for the first time. He had seen me do it to stay with him against Odin's rules, during storms or when I just couldn't say good bye, or to not draw anyone's attention to us. He changed into Asgardian shape.' His eyes are again on something neither of the listening men can see. His smile is dreamy. 'He was the prettiest little boy I had ever seen with his blond hair and little dimples as he smiled up to me. I was so proud and afraid at that time. I had always felt magic tingling around him but had never thought he could use it on purpose, let alone shape-shift with it.' The smile slowly vanishes and regret laces through Loki's voice. 'There was no other option but to shut his magic away, to cut his natural connection to his abilities. Odin would have used him. No one knew he is my illegitimate son, no one would bother if he'd get hurt. Now I feel terrible for doing it for it was nothing different from what was done to me but I tried to show him my love.'

'You taught him how to use magic.', Thor states rather than asks.

Loki nods. 'When he was old enough to control his powers I started to practice with him. He was so talented and no one could know.' His face twists from a proud smile to a grimace. 'Sleipi would have loved to run through the palace, be a normal child. He deserved so much more than me.' Sadness and regret lace through his voice and the frown settles on his face again.

'He loves you, Loki. You did great given the circumstances. You will see when you see him. He is perfect. Do not fret yourself.' Thor tries to comfort his lover.

He sighs. It is apparent to Thor that Loki doesn't believe him but he sits down next to Thor and doesn't push his arm away when the blond hugs him.

'I am sorry, for what happened. Back then between us and..' Thor shakes his head. 'I should have known.'

Loki looks up surprised by his statement. 'I wasn't keeping this from you. It was.. I needed to protect him.'

The blond pulls him closer 'I know.'

xXxXx

The air is stifling. Enough of this farce, Loki thinks. The sun is burning through the high windows of Tony's apartment. A jolt of magic opens two windows on different sides of the floor to get a little wind going. The air conditioning isn't going yet and the heat slowly becomes unbearable. Sweat had already accumulated on Loki's forehead and the mortals probably aren't better off though Tony seems too absorbed in his work to actually note the heat.

The dark haired mortal is hunched over one of his robot servants which Barton had damaged during his stay, Tony is bend on repairing it today. The last days they had been busy cleaning out the debris and actually trying to find as many of Tony's personal items as possible. Loki had used his magic to repair most of the windows but there still extensive repairs will be necessary before anyone would be able to live here again. Bruce spends most of his time here, overseeing the various workers building up the new penthouse of Stark Tower.

Tony had decided, that they would have to rebuild most things from the scratch either way so he could as well throw in some new ideas and reshape his apartment as they are already at it. He hadn't shared all his ideas but Loki has a hunch what his friend is planning to do.

By day they help rebuild the city, coming here in the evening to check on the progress. Bruce isn't much help in the streets but here he has his peace and can work on his projects while not feeling like he's doing nothing. He and Tony had gotten friends and Bruce, though he threatened Fury with it in the beginning, doesn't want to leave immediately.

There is a lot they want to find out, about both the Chitauri and their weapons. Both scientists shy away from the dead bodies polluting a big cooled hangar of SHIELD somewhere out of the city, but they are comfortable taking apart the technology the attackers had used, trying to find out how it works to recreate it later and use it against Thanos, the real threat.

'Aha!', Tony suddenly cries out as some lights flicker on the surface of Dum-E. Loki has to admit he is rather impressed with the brunet man's skills. A whirring noise fills the room as the little robot starts to move around, apparently happy to be back.

Loki smiles, though it is a bit bitter. Not all wounds the invasion had inflicted upon Midgard will be so easily remedied. He had seen the damage first hand and had helped clean up the mess Thanos had caused. His anger was fed by all the dead or injured humans, by all the destruction around them, by all the families torn apart, ruins that will never bring forth life again. So much death and pain had been brought upon Midgard's people, so much ruin. He can't forgive that and somehow, somewhen, the purple man would pay for this.

Bruce and he had helped in all the local hospitals, putting their powers to the best use. Loki would have probably sold his soul to have access to his herbs at home. All of their ills could be so easily cured. The knowledge that even if he would have his medicines and full powers he couldn't safe everyone and that it would not be in their interest, weighs heavy on him. This is war, as Thor had said. They need to stand up for their own, Loki can't take that away for them. Asgard will always protect Midgard but it is not their task to take them their opportunity to build something unique.

Just as it is getting dark the three men make their way back to the Mansion in Tony's car. The city is still quieter than it had been at Loki's first visit but the life slowly starts to return to the streets. The mortals are still frightened but they know that the Avengers will protect their city and always stand between them and the dangers coming at them.

If Loki is honest he hopes the repairs of the Tower will still take a while for he has grown rather fond of the old brick house and its rather large garden. The life is quieter out here, far from the city, and though Loki misses the pulse of the big city he enjoys the illusion of nature around him and the peaceful evenings with his new friends.

Natasha already awaits them in the door and ushers them into the kitchen.

'You don't have to cook, you know? We can order us anything. Or go out.', Tony says with a huff, crossing his arms when he sees all the shopping bags in the kitchen. The red haired woman apparently already assigned Steve and Thor a task. His brother is dressed in Midgardian clothes and is chopping carrots. He shortly waves at the group before returning his attention back to his task. Steve merely smiles and greets them friendly.

'Yeah, but this is also fun.'

'Whatever.' Tony rolls his eyes and heads away from the unprepared food. Before any of the others can run away Natasha gives them their tasks and pulls out everything they need for that. Loki is glad to help and Bruce doesn't complain either.

A blond shock of hair appears in the door. Clint hovers uncertain at the entrance to the big room, not sure if he should enter or just leave again. The kitchen is unusual full today given that Tony hates cooking and they usually order something and eat it while relaxing in the living room. His eyes glide over the others. Ever since Loki had released Thanos hold of his mind, Clint had been insecure as how to act around the others. He still feels guilty for participating in the plans of overtaking the world though the Avengers had reassured him time and again that it wasn't his fault nor that any blame is placed on him. Natasha worries greatly over him, they had been close even before this.

'Come in, there is enough for everyone.', Loki says cheerfully, smiling at Clint. He knows the archer is still uncertain about him but had also confided in him because the ravenette is the only person who understands what it means to be exposed to the scepter. How it is to lose one's body and mind to something strange and just being able to stand back and watch the most horrible deeds being performed by one's own hands.

Somewhere in the back of Clint's mind he imagines the judging glares of the people he tried to kill but the blond accepts the invitation. 'Thanks.', he mutters, slowly coming further into the room.

'We wanted to watch a movie, any suggestions?', Tony asks, leaning casually against a counter and popping blueberries into his mouth, not even pretending to help the team prepare supper.

Clint shrugs. 'Can I help you?'

'Nope, just sit down. We'll be done soon.', Natasha answers, stirring in some pots to make sure nothing burns. Clint tries to relax as the red head, Loki, Thor, Steve and Bruce scurry around the kitchen.

Thor's hand lightly skims over his back as Loki cuts vegetables for dinner, it is not even an arousing way as Thor just tries to reach around him. Nevertheless it sends liquid fire down Loki's spine, making him shiver involuntarily.

'Everything alright, Loki?' He must have noticed the tremor but hopefully not its reason.

Loki turns his gaze down and evades Thor's eyes. His cheeks flush slightly at the embarrassing lack of self control. 'Yeah, everything's fine.' The others surely had seen it as well but as he looks up, no one is laughing or shows any signs of having seen the mishap. Thor smiles at him and takes the potato peeler from the counter next to Loki's vegetables.

All during a quite delicious dinner Loki keeps quite and tries to suppress the jolts of electricity that travel through his body whenever Thor casually touches him. The others share their day's work and contemplate their next moves. There is a consensus that they eventually will have to deal with Thanos again as he will sooner or later come for the Tesseract again, but no more specific plans are made for these worst-case scenarios.

Somehow the loud chatter around him does not annoy Loki as it did back in the dining hall in Asgard with its hundreds of warriors. The comfortable ease which engulfs the group is nothing the ravenette ever hoped to find. Like a big happy family, he thinks.

After dinner and cleaning up, they settle in the living room. Loki slides into his usual seat next to Thor at the end of the sofa when Tony asks Jarvis to start the movie.

Thor slings his arm around Loki's shoulders and draws him closer. The movie continues on and on and Loki cuddles into the embrace, enjoying the warmth that settles in the pit of his stomach. If he'd be honest he didn't even catch the title of the film nor its story or anything for he is too absorbed by his own thoughts and Thor.

When Loki suppresses the fourth yawn in five minutes, Thor asks: 'Tired, brother?'

He shrugs. 'A little.'

Thor smiles knowing. 'Let's retire.'

They bid the others good night and go up the stairs to their rooms. The Mansion has several separate apartments. Tony had assigned them a complex with two bedrooms, a parlor, a small library and two bathrooms. Loki is thankful that Tony thought about granting him some space if needed. But Loki had been alone enough, he spent every single night in Thor's arms.

They had interlaced their fingers when leaving the big living room. Loki worries his lip as he tries to decide how to best approach the matter. He had felt ready for this for some time but Thor had insisted on them waiting just a little longer to let all their injuries and memories fade a bit. Thor's random little touch had sparked the fire in him again, it now burns underneath his skin. It had been oh so long.

'I'll just go shower quickly, then I am right back.' Thor presses a quick kiss on his forehead and walks towards the bathroom but Loki doesn't let go of his hand and keeps him back.

With an astonished smile he turns around again, letting himself being pulled close. Loki caresses his cheek with his other hand, then leans up to kiss him properly. 'I love you.' His kisses down Thor's jawline and neck. A strong hand come up to his hip and draws him closer. 'It's been so long, Thor.' Loki moves back up, the blond reciprocates eagerly. 'I want you.', he murmurs against the soft lips.

Thor draws back a little to look him in the eyes. 'Are you sure?' There is fire in his eyes but also a self-imposed restraint.

'I am fine, my dear. I need you. I long to feel you.' He presses up close, his cheek brushes a bearded one. Loki's body fits perfectly into Thor's big frame. Thor leans into him, his hand comes up to the ravenette's lower back. Loki feels his breath deepen when he buries his nose in black hair, his body already reacts.

'I am here, right here, my love.' Thor's voice is already hoarse. 'I won't leave you ever again. I swear.'

'Thor.', he whimpers when Thor presses his lips against his throat. 'Please.'

The blond growls. Sliding his other hand behind Loki's neck to keep him in place, he starts to kiss Loki, quickly taking over the kiss by sliding his tongue past the pale lips. Loki's knees threaten to buckle. He had missed this careless intimacy. Just too willingly the blond gives in to Loki's pleas and slight tugs for more body contact. Greedily he grabs Loki's bottom, his other hand tangles in black hair.

Suddenly Thor breaks the kiss and Loki is about to complain when he is raised by two strong hands and is carried towards their shared bedroom with the ravenette's legs wrapped around his waist. Loki's lips attach themselves to the other's throat, pressing kisses to it and sucking at the offered skin which draws deep rumbles from him.

Gently Thor disposes him on the large bed, settling between his legs and kissing him gently. Thor's t-shirt is quickly flung to the ground and the blond starts to tug at Loki's clothes. Just when his fingers skim over the exposed skin between his pants and his longsleeve, Loki becomes aware of his own body but Thor already pushes the cloth up. Thor's lips on his neck distract him enough and he lifts up to enable the blond to bare his upper body. Large hands begin their exploration but stop after a few seconds. Shocked Thor lifts himself up to look at Loki's body properly.

'I will kill him and bring you his head.' The words are spoken with such grimness that Loki shivers. A storm is brewing in Thor's eyes as they take in the many scars littering Loki's previously flawless torso. One scar stands out particularly and warmth enters the blue eyes again when he softly caresses it. It is almost directly over his heart, more faded than the rest and became white with time.

Thor looks into his eyes. Softly he kisses the ravenette before leaning down. He presses a kiss on each scar he can find. Sometimes Loki flinches from the memory of how it came to be on his skin but Thor's soft lips make each of them seem less terrifying.

When the blond has finished his exploration, he whispers a soft 'I love you.' After that, everything is a rush to Loki. The last of their clothes vanish and Thor is kissing him senseless, bringing their bodies closer together. He is careful not to hurt the younger man but Loki feels the obvious proof of his own arousal and urgency pressed between them.

Thor rubs their erections against each other, drawing moans from both of them. Loki reaches for the bedside table, quickly pulling out a lubricant he had put their earlier the week. It should not be said that he isn't prepared. Thor settles between his spread legs and coats his fingers with the slimy liquid.

Loki is writhing beneath Thor before he is even finished with stretching his lover. The blond apparently has to hold back to not just take his lover without sufficient preparation and Loki's begs don't make it any easier. After what feels like an eternity Thor finally slathers his cock with the lube and lines himself up with Loki.

It hurts a little when Thor presses in but Loki already entices him to go faster before he is even fully sheathed. Loki looks up to see Thor close his eyes in pleasure. His mouth hangs open slightly. Loki reaches up to pull him into a messy kiss. The feeling of his lover finally inside him is overwhelming.

Thor's patience seems to wear thin. Their lips are still connected in a sloppy kiss when he starts to move and steals Loki's breath. The slow moves get faster but no less affectionate as if he tries to show Loki how much he loves him with every move. The ravenette's toes curl in pleasure while Thor's cock brushes his prostate with almost every stroke. Loki clings to Thor's back, trying to get more of him inside, to get him closer, his legs are wrapped around his hips and pull the blond in. if Thor's panting is anything to go by he is just as close as Loki is. The closeness of his lover is enough but the friction of their stomachs rubbing against his cock is mind-blowing.

Loki's head drops back and he comes with a shout. 'Brother!' Somewhere in the back of his mind he notices Thor coming with a grunt a few thrusts later before almost collapsing on him.

Thor's hot breath fans across the sensitive skin of his neck. It takes Loki some time to realize the blond had started chuckling lightly. 'Seriously? Brother?'

Loki joins his careless laughter, feeling too content to be offended. When Thor wants to pull out, Loki holds on to his neck. 'Don't. Just for a little while.'

Thor smiles down at him, blue eyes sparkle. His hair is mussed and sticking to his sweaty forehead. He leans down, the lazy grin still on his face, and kisses Loki slowly. One of his hands wanders to the ravenette's lower back, pressing them even closer together before rolling to the side, taking Loki with him. Within a few seconds and some wiggling he lies on top of the blond, sparing Thor the necessity to keep up himself further on his arms to not crush Loki underneath him.

The sweet afterglow slowly fades slowly. Thor rakes his fingers through his hair. 'Yes.', Loki says softly, looking deep into his eyes.

'Hmm?' Thor looks up questioningly. Loki caresses his cheek.

'Yes, you are my brother. I was stupid to ever deny that.', Loki says softly. 'You filled the word with so much love and took away my dread. My brother is more than I could ever hope for.'

Thor takes a deep breath and smiles more widely than before. 'That is what I wanted to tell you all along, love.' The blond gently lifts Loki of his chest and they sink together into the mattress. Loki whimpers softly when Thor draws out, already missing the feeling of his lover stretching him. They kiss lazily for a few minutes before Thor draws back.

'We should get cleaned up. Can you take care of that?', he asks, one arm still draped over Loki's waist.

He sighs. 'You know,', he leans in conspiratorially, 'the Midgardians invented something ingenious. It is called a washcloth.', Loki puts special emphasis on the last word.

Thor laughs with a groan. 'I don't want to get up.'

'I do neither.' Loki sighs again, closing his eyes and concentrating. Today hadn't been too demanding, still his magic feels odd ever since he got it back. Maybe because he so long hadn't been in any location with magic. Loki hopes so and that the reason is not the lost and regained immortality and that this will not become normalcy for him to feel but that his powers will be restored once he is back to Asgard.

A wet washcloth from the bathroom levitates into the room. Thor grabs it and cleans them a little before tossing it aside and scooping Loki into his arms again. The ravenette rests his head on the broad chest. But tomorrow will be enough time to worry about anything but the warmth his beloved is radiating.


	39. Chapter 38 Clarifications

Clarifications

 _In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.  
Robert Frost _

Life is good at Avengers Tower. Because, yeah, Tony had generously decided to rename his baby. During the fight the _Stark_ logo had been heavily damaged and just the middle letter had stayed. The big blue glowing 'A' already hangs on the outside and, though it needs to be replaced, Tony already has a far cooler design in mind, had given him an idea he hadn't been able to shake off again. Better than being scattered all around the world, or in case of the Asgardians even further, they would have one place to call their own, their headquarters. Far away from SHIELD's prying eyes they would be their own team.

The repairs on the Tower had finally been completed after a few months and though the city looks different from what it used to be, it starts to come along fine as well. A lot of buildings are too damaged to be repaired and will vanish from the familiar skyline, others are already restored to their former, well, beauty.

The smell of fresh paint still hangs in the air. Tony breathes in deeply, looking out onto his city. He had tipped the foundation for the repairs of New York generously, had helped to clean away the debris, to collect every scrap piece of alien material so civilians wouldn't touch it and accidentally get hurt. Slowly but surely the life had returned to the city he loves, the people having taken in everything like only New Yorkers could. Aliens exist and nearly destroyed half of the city and not three months later no one even wonders why anymore but just how life should go on.

Tony had even found one more unlikely friend during all of this in one of his fellow Avengers. Him and Steve (yes, he calls him like that, sue him) had become somewhat closer. After Steve's apology (and yes, that totally did count) they had found some common ground and cleaning up the city is much more fun if a certain furious blond isn't yelling after Tony all the time. Their little team still lives together in his Mansion, everyone seeming comfortable with the way things are. Not even the Russian assassin had tried to leave yet. Bruce is still needed as a doctor and scientist to study some of the Chitauri technology. New York is Steven's home and he'd like ti move here again anyway once he finds the time to look for a flat. The little Hawk helps as much as he can, still feeling guilty for almost ripping a city apart, he had even taken a voluntary leave from SHIELD. And the Norse Brothers have not made any mention that they'd be leaving soon. Not that Tony minds at all. He had gotten along well with Loki and Bruce before and the rest of the team can also be tolerated. It's nice to come home and someone is already around. It is fun to watch them bicker all the time (usually with Tony), comfortable to just relax with them and look at all the hard work they had done.

Never had he felt so comfortable at the Mansion, not even before his mother had passed away. It is bittersweet to see it filled with life again. In his childhood he had spend every day there, often just supervised by Mr. Jarvis. Somehow he still expects the ghosts of his past to walk around the corner each time Tony looks up. The Mansion hadn't felt like home in a long time. Though now that his Tower is finally repaired he probably would spend more evenings here. For the house warming he had invited the whole group for a movie night in his apartment above the city. Tony had spend the last days putting the finishing touches to his apartment and make it look habitable again. The furniture had been delivered in that time and none of the team had been allowed into the Tower at that time.

The elevator opens with a soft ding. His team steps out. Except for Bruce and Loki none of them had seen the progress in here. The gray concrete floor had been repaired, a new bar area had been added to the entry room, the windows replaced and new furniture bought. The whole apartment had been divided into a big public space to relax, invite others, invent and research, and his personal space which kinda is an apartment on its own in the penthouse.

A few impressed hums and whistles make Tony grin as he spins around to welcome his guests. 'I humbly present, my new Tower.'

'Impressive, Tony.', Loki smiles, looking around. Even he had only seen the raw building.

'Indeed. At least in Midgardian standards.' His brother immediately smacks the blond Asgardian on the arm. Tony ignores their little banter, he had gotten used to the strange vibes from Thor though it had gotten considerably better since Loki had stepped in. Tony gives them a tour through the new public area. Before the whole top floors had been designed to house Tony alone apart from an occasional visit of Pepper or Rhodey, now there is more than enough space to house the seven Avengers and is even meant to. There is a big laboratory with a workshop for Bruce, a big library for Loki, some training and sports rooms for the assassins, Steve and Thor. Furthermore there is a big cinema room, a lot of space to hang out with sofas, bars and games, a big kitchen and dining area and a lot more, everything Tony could think of to make his team happy. Everything is connected by stairs and elevators, stretching over five floors. The three floors downstairs he doesn't show them just yet. Spoiling his surprise might be something Tony is known for but this is too important. If everything goes according to his plan they would see their personal space soon enough.

They end up in the cinema room which had been made slightly smaller though is even more cozy now and still big enough. The red sofas and the dark carpet complement each other well. The windows are darkened so the light would not disturb the nice movie evenings and afternoons Tony had in mind when planning the room.

'Well done, Stark.' Tony practically beams when the compliment of the infamous Natasha reaches his ears.

'You like it?', he asks innocently.

'Sure, Tony, it's great. Good job.' Steve smiles. The others agree.

Tony flops down on the nearest sofa. 'Well, that's good to hear. Cause it's yours.' He leans back to enjoy their reaction. Philanthropist, he always said it.

A few raise their eyebrows but on every face is the dame mixture of of confusion and shock.

'What do you mean, man?' Finally the little Hawk has the courage to open his mouth and ask the question that's on everyone's mind.

'I've been thinking. Though Stark Tower has a nice ring and is good for my ego, I've been thinking about renaming it to Avengers Tower. You know, being as generous and kindhearted as me. And I'd like you to move in. I'm not the whole team.', he finishes, crossing his arms behind his head, seeming overly pleased with himself. A lazy grin is on his face when all of them gape at him like fish.

'You mean it?'

'Of course, Brucie. And don't worry. There are extra floors below that also have separate apartments for everyone. Otherwise my bed would get rather crowded. And there are some of you I'd rather not see naked.', he winks at them.

There is a smile on Natasha's face when she throws a pillow at him, hitting Tony straight in the face. He is not self-destructive enough to throw it back though.

'This Tower should be our place, our headquarters, kind of. Just for our team of misfits.' Tony grins.

'You sure, Tony?' The ravenette looks around unsure and hopeful.

'I am, Lokes. Found it a little bit quiet without all of you around. I got used to you crazy people.', he half-jokes. 'And to warm meals.'

'We thank you, Man of Iron, and accept your offer.', Thor says after a quick silent exchange with Loki. As if they could say no, Tony thinks. Jane had returned to New Mexico for now and they weren't planning on going home yet, at least he hopes so, so they would have to stay with him for now anyway.

But instead of pointing that out, he just says: 'Cool. But just on one condition.' Thor motions Tony to go on. 'No more Man of Iron, Stark or anything like that when you're here. It's Tony, simple as that.' He stares straight at Thor, straightening his shoulders to show him that Tony means it.

The blond Asgardian doesn't look particularly happy but he nods nonetheless. 'As you wish, friend Tony.' Tony refrains from rolling his eyes. Well, that's probably the best he will ever get.

'That's for all of you, by the way.' He wiggles his finger at them. He wouldn't accept being 'Stark'ed in his own apartment.

'That's very generous of you, Tony.', Bruce states. The brunet man can see the doubt on his face. 'I'm..'

'If you're worried, I bet Fury would let me borrow the Hulk tank. After scrubbing out the last inhabitant, that is.', he quickly adds when remembering what mess Loki had left in it.

Bruce chuckles. 'Very foresightful.'

'There is a big lab with your name on it. Well, I could put your name on it if you want. Jarvis, remind me to put Dr. Banner's name on the door.', he calls up at the ceiling when he still feels Bruce's reluctance.

'As you wish, Sir.', his faithful AI answers without missing a beat.

'I didn't even say yes.', Bruce reminds him with a smile tugging at his lips.

'Well, now with your name on the door you have to accept.', Tony reasons, grinning at his own logic. Bruce shakes his head laughing. That round the billionaire had won and he knows Bruce will stay at least for a while and until then Tony would find more excuses for his friend to stay.

Nat and Clint accept as well and he knows Steve won't say no, if just to make sure they don't take New York apart without him to mediate between them.

'I ordered some pizza, bit of everything.', Tony announces when he straightens on the sofa, the others taking the hint and sit down as well. Cooking and getting warm, home made meals might be nice but nothing for him to do on a daily basis. And especially if he himself would have to do the cooking part. For seven people that's far too tedious. 'But it could take them sometime still. So, wanna start movie night?', he asks maybe a little bit too enthusiastic. 'Jarvis, if you please.'

Seconds later loud music blasts over the speakers, the most epic music ever composed in Tony's opinion. The room dips in a twilight as yellow letters start to roll over the screen.

How he had missed Jarvis doing all of this for him. In the old Mansion Tony had never fully installed the AI and until he had repaired all the wiring in the Tower his best friend had been unable to do much outside of the workshop in the basement apart from talking to him.

When Jay informs him halfway through the bar scene that the pizza had arrived, Tony leaves the small group to get it. He can't remember how often he had seen the movie so he isn't very afraid to miss something out. Loki asks if he can help but the ravenette looks too comfortable cuddled up with Thor so the brunet man waves it off.

Tony is kinda surprised when a certain blond soldier enters the kitchen just when he tries to balance the pizza boxes over to the counter after paying for everything. Star Wars doesn't seem to appeal very much to Steve as he decides to help out preparing dinner.

'It's very nice of you to take us in like this.'

'This isn't Brooklyn but it will be good for the whole team.' Tony places the pizza and turns around to face Steve.

The blond is scratching the back of his neck. 'Listen, I feel bad for you paying everything..'

'Oh, that's cute.', Tony interrupts him. 'Listen, Spangles, money is no problem. God knows if I have enough of one thing that's sure it. But is that a yes? I'm sure I heard a yes.' He grins widely at the blond.

Steve blushes. 'When you are allowed to keep calling me Spangles, I'll keep saying Stark. Otherwise it's unfair.'

'I get some privileges. After all it's my Tower.' Tony leans against the counter, looking him over. 'Alright, I'll say Steve. And just nickname you when you annoy me.', he offers, knowing that Steve knows that Tony would often claim to be annoyed by him just to get that privilege.

Steve chuckles. 'If you want me to move in here as well, I would gladly accept your invitation, Mr. Stark.' Tony sighs in relief and grins.

'Knew you couldn't refuse. My baby is just perfect.' He turns back to the meal and tries to radiate his usual confidence.

They carry some plates and the pizza back to the other room.

Tony had thought he ordered enough, given that he had already dealt with Thor's appetites and Steve's metabolism in the past but dinner is still gone to the last crumb before Luke even enters his X-fighter. He lets his gaze wander over the people whom he had grown, admittedly, fond of.

'Jarvis, stop the movie. Lights? What the fuck?', Tony exclaims, a frown firmly edged on his face.

'What?', Loki asks, noticing that Tony's stare lingers on him. He raises his eyebrows to express his confusion.

'What the hell are you doing there?' Tony's eyes nearly pop out of his head and he hopes Loki has a good explanation for his situation.

But all he gets is a disbelieving look. 'Seriously, someone with your reputation should know.', the ravenette drawls. Loki pokes out his tongue, the same tongue he had not moments ago shoved down Thor's throat. Tony's brilliant mind refuses to work for several moments.

'Why?', he exclaims because all of this makes less sense than before Loki answered.

'What do you mean, why?', Thor interferes. Oh, this is too much. Did his heart just gave out for a moment? Surely Jay would have warned him. But at least it would be a better explanation than the one that is offered.

'But you're brothers!'

The others slowly start to catch up with him but they don't intervene yet but simply wait for now.

'We're not.', Thor clarifies. 'We never were related. Yes, Loki will always be my brother but after we found out about him being adopted, we were happy for we could finally be with each other like this.' Tony thinks he might suffer a sugar shock from the sweetness of the gaze Thor gives Loki. 'And if you do not mind, I will kiss my fiancé whenever I feel like it after getting him back.' Thor glares at him for good measure. Gone is the sweetness.

'We're not engaged, Thor.', Loki corrects him before turning to him. 'Tony, I always loved him and now finally I can touch him openly with not-misplaced affection. I thought you all knew about this.' He looks at the other Avengers questioningly.

Tony decides not to question when exactly they had found the love they just displayed, if before or after they found out about that adoption thingy. Now of course Thor's reaction to Loki's son makes more sense, the hurt and the jealousy of a lover. Tony takes some deep breaths. 'It just surprised me, that is all.'

'So..'

'I have no problem with you two. I think that's for you to deal with. But with you still calling each other brother and everything.. Sorry, I freaked out for a moment.' Though he still blames them for this. One has to break such news slowly! If he really thinks about this matter though, it actually explains a lot more. No surprise Thor glares at him at every possibility. Hell, he had shared his lover's bed for months. Jealousy is something Tony's accustomed to. He should have recognized the possessive behavior as such. Something comes to Tony's mind. 'Jay, why haven't you told me?'

'I thought you were aware, Sir. They are your guests after all. And it is not of high importance.', Jarvis answers.

'Not of high importance?', he asks to make it plain.

'I thought it none of your interest?', his AI asks politely.

Before Tony can tell his AI though that everything in his home is of his interest, the Asgardian speaks again. 'I thought you all knew?', Loki asks confused. 'It never was a secret. Jane knows, and Eric knew as well.' He pauses for a second. 'Why do you think we share a bed?' His lips quirk into a smile.

Tony breathes in deeply. 'Don't know.', he admits. 'I am no expert on Asgardian costumes.', he grumbles.

Loki sighs. 'Let's hope at home they will react differently.'

'They surely will.' Thor presses a kiss to his temple.

'Have you already decided on a date? But you aren't leaving just yet, right? You just moved in.', Tony pouts.

'We will have to deal with Asgard soon. Otherwise Mother will come down here and drag you home herself.', Thor laughs.

'But we will come back. It's about time Midgard gets to know the other realms as well and gets included in everything.', Loki says. 'You've been excluded long enough.'

'And you would die of boredom without us.', Clint announces.

Loki smirks. 'Sure.' Tony notes that they all try to change the theme as to not make the Asgardians feel strange and unwanted. Tony doesn't care for their preferences, he just likes to know what happens right under his nose. The billionaire doesn't even try to get them back to the movie as apart from him and Clint, no one seems too interested in it anyway or they had already seen it.

'And what about Thanos?', Romanov asks.

'He will no doubt try to come here again to regain the Tesseract and take revenge for his fallen army despite it being made just for taking over Midgard.' The ravenette frowns. 'But he is far away. It would take him years to travel here the usual way. The threat isn't banned forever though. He will come back, no doubt. He wants the infinity stones and nothing will keep him away from them but death.'

'So, practically we need to lock the cube away and keep it safe.', Tony states. He had thought about several places but none of them seems good enough to keep it not only away from that alien but also from SHIELD and any other of these organizations who surely hadn't given up the idea of using it to defend themselves just yet. Having seen the threat first hand though, Tony isn't sure if they weren't right. With powerful weapons they might have been able to destroy the incoming army sooner. Or kill even more civilians. He sighs. But he doubts even these Tesseract weapons would offer them much protection if the Chitauri were just a replaceable part of his army.

'We want to take it to Asgard. We have, with all respect, the better defenses to fight off Thanos and defend it and ourselves.', Thor says.

'Sounds like a good idea.', Steve agrees. 'Do you know where the other stones are? Maybe it would be helpful to protect them.' The blond crosses his arms. 'I doubt he wants universal peace.'

'That he certainly doesn't want. More like universal destruction or domination.', Loki mutters. 'But we can't collect them all in one place, that is too much power. If Thanos then wins, he would have them all. They are lost and better stay that way. Except in great need I would never advise using any of the infinity gems lightly. They are too powerful to be wielded by one person, no matter if mortal, god or titan.'

'So they are probably scattered all across the universe? And not here or anywhere near, giving that Thanos even more reasons to come here?', Romanov asks.

'I cannot tell. And frankly, I do not want to. As I said, they better stay lost. If we do not know where they are, he probably doesn't either.'

xXxXx

Thor is the last person to come into the kitchen. Everyone is preparing breakfast or waiting for it to be prepared. The blond still isn't quite used to wake up together with Loki but he insists on staying in bed as long as Thor sleeps. Not that he would complain. It's like Valhalla to hold Loki, to see the soft green eyes the first thing in the morning and the last thing in the evening.

Thor has assured the ravenette he'd come in a second after taking a quick shower and getting dressed. He opted for a blue tight tunic Loki had chosen for him, and black jeans which he had already complimented. Loki smiles up from the potatoes he is rasping. He comes to stand next to the ravenette.

'Loki, love.' Thor pries his hands from the grater to take them into his own. He feels his own heart race and he can't keep the smile from his face. He had been nervous ever since he stood up.

'What?' Loki chuckles bemused. He extracts his hands and quickly grabs a towel to clean them before allowing Thor to hold them again, turning him towards the blond.

'My love, a few days back you reminded me of something, an error make by me and I seek to rectify it.'

'What error?', Loki wonders, an adorable little frown on his face. A smile adorns his beautiful features.

The others had accepted them rather quickly. Stark had pointed out that actually it made all sense, especially Thor's behavior had always been too possessive for a brother and it should have been painfully obvious to all of them. Thor had been surprised how understanding his comrades in arms had been and had immediately offered their help when he shared his plan with them. Surprisingly Stark in particular had been especially willing to help. Maybe the blond had been mistaken in distrusting the mortal and his intentions towards his brother as he just seems as interested in making Loki happy, just like Thor himself.

Thor can't help the goofy smile on his face. Slowly without saying a word, he kneels down in front of Loki, holding onto his pale hands.

'Loki, you are my best friend, my brother, the love of my life. We're closer than family and I do not ever want to miss you in my life again. I love you, Loki, and have given you the promise to be at your side for as long as you will have me. But you were right, I haven't asked you yet. A sign of our love already adorns your hand as it is Midgardian costume. I want to give you my life. The only thing left to ask is, do you want to share the rest of your life with me? Loki Laufeyson, my beloved, do you want to marry me?'

Loki's eyes are filled with tears as he caresses the silver band on his finger. Thor had believed he had lost it and had been happy to find it had been in his possession all the time. The small silver band with the rubies, the sign of their love, is now worn openly and not hidden away anymore. Loki shortly glances up to the others but Thor keeps his eyes firmly on his lover. Insecurity is written all over his face but also the raw want Thor understands so well. The blond still smiles like a lovestruck idiot but he doesn't care and keeps it firmly in place to reassure his live that he isn't alone with the feelings.

Green eyes fix on Thor again. He swallows past the lump in his throat. Thor barely hears Loki's answer over the thumping of his heart. 'Yes.', he whispers almost inaudible.

Thor's heart skips a beat. A grin slowly makes its way to his face when he stands up to slowly cup Loki's face and press a loving kiss on his lips. Somewhere beyond he hears the cheer of their friends.

'I love you.' Loki embraces him and whispers the words into his ear. Thor pulls him closer so that the ravenette's feet leave the ground. A surprised yelp leaves him when Thor spins them around the kitchen. The sound of whistling and clapping reaches his ears but he cares little for it.

He sets Loki down, one hand entangled in the rich black hair, and he smiles down at his lover. The same smile is on both their faces. 'Will you be mine?' Thor just has to hear it.

'I always was, my love.', Loki answers. 'And will always be.' Thor's chest swells with happiness and pride.

A loud plop makes them flinch. Tony looks not even remotely guilty but grins at them, a bottle of champagne in his hands. 'That needs to be celebrated, don't you think?'

The others get glasses to drink to this development, giving them a little moment longer. 'And I am yours, Loki.', Thor's hand strokes the black tresses and leans down to capture Loki's lips for another kiss.

'Odin won't approve of this.', Loki whispers, his eyes are downcast.

'I think you judge him too harshly, brother. He knows of our love and has accepted our relationship long ago. Father will probably not be surprised by this, he knew of my intentions. He will be happy to welcome you back as his son once more.', Thor soothes him.

Loki looks doubtful but hope shines in his eyes. 'Really?'

'And if he doesn't, if Asgard won't accept us, it is their loss. I only need you, my love. I understand if you still do not wish to return, if you won't ever want to go back to Asgard. We could get Sleipnir and live somewhere else, far away from Asgard. I know they have hurt you, and I understand if you can't forgive them that. Father kept you away from the truth, I understand if Asgard is no longer your home.', he says with a heavy heart but not without conviction. Loki is more important than his home world, he had known that long ago.

'You would give up your throne? For me?'

'I would give up everything for you.' Thor smiles and brushes the tears away. 'We could live here on Midgard. Or on Alfheim of you would prefer. I know you always enjoyed the green fields and forests.' Thor had realized that though he hangs on Asgard and wishes to return, his brother might not and that this fact might not change. That maybe Loki had too many bad memories of their home.

He takes a deep breath, then he shakes his head. 'No, I want to go home, I told you so and it hasn't changed. I want to return to Asgard, to our old lives though that is impossible. We both have responsibilities. I want to meet Laufey, possibly get to know him better and help to improve the relations between our people. And you will need to resume your place as the crown prince, the future king of Asgard. We can't just leave.', he reasons.

'Take your time, my love. We do not need to rush back. I understand this must be hard and I am sorry I tried to pressurize you onto returning. Don't feel obliged to anything.'

He laughs softly. 'Thank you. But I miss Sleipnir and Mother greatly. I never really wanted to leave Asgard, especially now that it is no longer necessary.'

'We will marry, no matter what they say.', Thor promises.

'That sounds nice.', Loki admits. 'They will accept this as a political marriage, I believe.'

'I don't want anyone to doubt my love for you.' Thor shakes his head at the thought that people could think they were forced into this marriage.

'We still can't tell them we broke the law for two centuries. They will usurp the throne.' Loki sighs.

'We can say we fell in love here. Because no one would believe me that I knew about your adoption, I fear. It's still not generally known.' Odin hadn't wanted to tell the whole of Asgard about Loki being none of them when it would change nothing about his apparent death.

Loki starts to answer but they are interrupted. 'Sorry, Point Break. Now's our turn.', Tony grins as he flings his arm around Loki's shoulder and presses a glass of champagne into his hands. 'Congratulations, Loki and Thor. I wish you all the luck in.. a lot of worlds.'

xXxXxXx

 **Thank you for all the support, it keeps me writing :3**

 **So, our heroes don't want to get involved. Something tells me they don't get a say in this. :P But before any of that happens our favorite Asgardian duo still needs to deal with their family. So next chapter will be the last of this bigger complex of Phase 1 of the MCU. After that, well, I have planned out quite a bit (should keep me busy until the end of the year). But don't you worry, I won't follow the plot line of Phase 2, at least not really, and after Age of Ultron everything will be my own doing except if I say otherwise.**

 **Right, I might change my update schedule, haven't decided yet, but I'll warn you before that happens. Anyway, see you next week!**


	40. Chapter 39 Back To Asgard

Back to Asgard

 _At the end of the day, it isn't where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I'm going and never have been before.  
Warsan Shire _

Six weeks later the newly engaged couple finally makes the last preparations to return home. The past months had been, despite all the hardships they had to endure, certainly some of the best of Loki's life.

New York had been rebuild completely, all the damage done erased from the surface of the city. Though the people of the never-sleeping city are not as forgetful as the towers and buildings. The fear might have vanished from their faces but the certainty that they are not alone does not leave their minds that readily. A lot of accepted knowledge has been proven wrong and though they have reacted better than Loki would have assumed given their state of science and what stories he had heard about the intelligence of the Midgardians, they are still deeply moved.

Walking through the streets in broad daylight and holding Thor's hand in public had been like a dream. To not feel like they are doing wrong but rather that people simply don't care about them being a couple. Loki isn't sure about the attention they and the Avengers get. After they had saved the city of course everyone knows their names and faces. Tony had been famous before and is used to that, just as Thor is. The rest are a little irritated by the sudden attention and interest on their persons. Loki had always been able to walk through Asgard undisturbed because the people would keep their distance. Now he is the silent hero of a world he had not even valued greatly before. And they know nothing of his and Thor's alleged kinship so they do not judge, yes, do not even care when they kiss in public. All the little romantic nothings Loki had told himself he would never need are caresses for his martyred soul. It is free and careless to be able to touch Thor whenever he likes though he had sworn he would not need this open kind of intimacy. Loki had found that he had missed this, missed to do what he wants without having to care who might see and what might happen.

Thor's arms encircle him from behind, a kiss is pressed under his ear. 'Are you ready, love?'

Smiling Loki turns in his arms. It doesn't matter anymore. Everyone he cares about on Asgard already knows about their relationship and the others had already talked about him behind his back before. Mother accepts them, as Thor had reassured him many times. And Odin would not stand in their way, the blond is sure he will be okay with them in time.

'Yes, everything is packed.', he answers, looking the room over again to make sure he didn't miss anything.

Thor laughs. 'No, I mean, are you sure?'

Loki thinks about this for a few seconds as they step out onto the balcony. 'Heimdall?' Almost immediately he feels the keeper's gaze fix on them. 'Tell the All-father we will come today.' Thor takes his hand and squeezes it. Now there is no turning back. Loki swallows back the slight pang of regret. 'We will come in a few hours.' Again and again they had put the date off, had stayed for another day, another week. He wants to assure his lover that they are really going home.

Thor kisses him softly, a silent thank you. Loki knows he would have accepted staying here a little while longer but they both miss home. They won't have to hide anymore, will be able to kiss in public somewhen. But he also knows that they only will be able to that if Loki stands up and renounces his family, admits that he is a Jotun.

The first time he had shown himself to Thor in his true form has been trying for him but it had freed a part of Loki. There is no need to hide anymore, no need for shame in front of Thor. At least his lover knows him, inside and out. Thor had talked him into not only explaining his origin to the other Avengers but also show them. Loki knows he has to get used to the looks he will most certainly get back home. After the incident with the impostor though, Loki has at least partly accepted his true form. Showing it to others had still been strange and difficult. He somehow feels like this is a secret, his true skin that needs protection, not only hiding. The team had reacted good, but Loki knows the Asgardians won't be this kind. Thor will protect him alone with his mere presence but there will still be talking and black looks.

'We should say good bye.' In the early morning the Asgardians had announced their departure for the afternoon. Tony had objected and been not very happy with them for leaving so suddenly though they had planned on leaving for the past few weeks. The brunet man had complained that he would not be able to give them a proper farewell-party. Loki doesn't even want to know what that would have included.

'Yes, let's go up.', Thor agrees. This time of noon their comrades would surely be up in the new Avengers living space in Tony's apartment, either to prepare lunch or to relax and to 'chill' with the others. It is Sunday and none of them have any tasks for the day.

Jarvis already readied the elevator to take them up. Thor and Loki share their floor with Steve, the other three have the floor under them. All of the separate apartments consist of a large living room, a spacious kitchen and dining area, two bathrooms and two very large bedroom with balconies. For Loki and Bruce Tony added a small library and reading room, for the assassins and the Captain he had designed a rather large training room which everyone has access to.

'Shall I send Butterfingers to collect your luggage, Masters Odinson?', Jarvis asks with his usual smooth voice.

'That would be delightful. Thank you.', Loki answers immediately with a smile.

Within seconds the elevator arrives at the first floor of Tony's former apartment. They step out and walk slowly to the common area. Natasha and Clint argue in the kitchen as to what order for lunch, Tony and Bruce are busy discussing some science and Steve is sitting in an armchair and sketching something.

Thor's arm wraps around Loki's shoulders when they sit down at the bar to watch their friends bicker and just be happy one last time before returning home. When or even if they would return here is still unclear.

'You aren't still serious about this, are you?', Tony asks with worry. He had been against them moving back, claiming the team could be in dire need of them and they wouldn't even know when they are gone. Loki knows he merely wants to keep his new found friends close. The evenings are too much fun to be brushed aside carelessly. Despite their different personalities the team slots together just fine and Tony's, or rather now the Avengers', apartment is big enough to go out of each other's way should it be necessary.

'Yes.', Thor answers.

'It is time to go home.', Loki adds.

'Jane will be quite mad if you don't say good bye.', Tony argues, crossing his arms. Jane had gone back for good to New Mexico two weeks ago.

'Yes, but if we wait until she returns, I guess I won't ever find it in me to leave.', he says ruefully. 'Furthermore we already said good bye. She knew we'd leave before she's back in New York.'

A solemn silence envelops the small group. 'Will you be staying for lunch?', Natasha asks. Her face is a masque but Loki imagines to see a tiny bit of sadness in her eyes.

'Yes, sure. That'd be nice.', he says with a smile. They wouldn't see each other for some time so they should spend as much time together as possible. They order Chinese and some pasta and eat it with relish. Somehow they end up drawing out lunch and keep talking about nothing in particular.

The rude interruption comes when all the food is long gone and the elevator opens to reveal Butterfingers dragging in two duffel bags. A sad silence settles over the group.

Loki is not really willing to leave behind his new friends. Never in all his life would he find such people again as these people who call themselves the Avengers. He would miss them on Asgard. Doing science with Tony and Bruce. Watching Steve trying to read while Clint and Thor would play video games. Natasha who would try to bring some order in the chaos of their lives. All of them sparring in the gym or going out to eat.

Sighing Loki stands up alongside Thor. There is no need to drag this out. Saying good bye won't get any easier. He would never really be ready to part from this world where he had found peace, friendship and love. Acceptance.

'I guess it is time.', he says and immediately wants to take the words back. Thor nods and takes his hand to reassure him. This also isn't easy for the blond, he had also rather grown fond of their team and, even more so, Midgard.

Tony scowls but motions to the balcony. He probably regrets helping Loki now. The ravenette had needed assistance in building a containment for the cube that would enable them to travel to Asgard with it. Loki still feels to weak to teleport them safely home so they had chosen this way, also because it would take some time. With his magic he had to feel out the adjustments that needed to be done in order for it to work.

They go out of the apartment, the sky is clear and of a wonderful blue, perfect as if New York is trying to bid them farewell in its most beautiful form. For the last adjustments Dr. Banner and Tony had the devise already upstairs since Loki had announced their departure and are now handing it to the Jotun.

'Well, I guess this is good bye.', Tony says, scratching his neck.

'I guess.' Loki doesn't know how to handle this properly. He is sad and actually doesn't want to go. Seeing his friends equally sad makes this harder than he thought. Partly he is tempted to call all of this off and stay here.

Bruce is the first one to step up and shake Loki's hand. 'Good luck.'

'Good bye, Dr. Banner.', Loki says with a sad smile.

Thor grasps his forearm and shakes it vigorously. 'Until then, my friend.' Thor had taken a great liking in Bruce's other form and because of this in the scientist.

One after one they say good bye to their friends, some with a hug, others with a firm handshake. Both brothers have tears in their eyes.

'But you will come back?', he asks when he hugs Loki.

The ravenette smiles. 'Of course, Tony. As soon as we can.'

'That means tomorrow, right?', he jokes but his smile is a little sad. They pull back with a sigh.

'It was good to meet you, my friend. It was good to meet you all.' Thor put his arm around him when he looks at the other Avengers once again. 'There is no team better in all the nine realms.'

'Yeah, yeah. Now get of my lawn.', the brunet man says with a rueful smile, waving them of. Thor takes Loki's hand and the bags in his other. They turn around and take some steps away from others and the walls of the building. Loki holds up the Tesseract and accesses its power with his magic. The containment begins to hum with energy and the cube powers up. He lifts the devise and Thor takes the other end. Loki turns his gaze to the assembled team, his team, and waves as he turns the handle of the devise, activating it.

Immediately they are engulfed in a bright light comparable to the light of the Bifrost. It is familiar and comfortable, still Loki finds himself inexplicable unnerved. The last time he had traveled in a similar way to Asgard, space had opened up around him and he ended up in the hands of Thanos. If the Tesseract wouldn't keep his hand locked in place, Loki probably would let go out of fear or anxiety. His arms and hands shake madly and as short as the ride is, fear claws at his heart, threatening to consume him. He longs to hold something else than the cold metal handle, his lover's hand or anything more comforting, anything that would calm his furiously beating heart. Some of that must show on his face because when they land, Thor drops their bags to the floor and caresses Loki's cheek, drawing him close and calming him alone with his mere presence. Blue eyes are filled with worry and concern. The ravenette tries a smile and shakes his head slightly.

Then his gaze is met by the glowing golden shimmer of home. They landed in the Bifrost bridge, facing the open sky and towards the city. The golden turrets of the palace gleam in the light of the morning sun, the ocean stretches out underneath the magnificent bridge leading towards the crowded city. Tears cloud his sight. How long has it truly been? Home. The single word radiates through his head as he sees the big city finally again. Home. So long had he doubted he'd ever lay eyes on it again. Now the brightness almost blinds him. Loki is overwhelmed and can't see enough at the same time.

The wind howls around them and tears at their clothes. Someone coughs slightly from behind them. Loki turns around surprised to find Heimdall with a little smile on his face. He silently watches them, a long unfamiliar sword in his hands. Loki looks past him to find the black sky at the shattered end of Bifrost bridge. He takes a deep breath. This had happened to his original destination. He can't even imagine the blast, the energy that would be needed to destroy this powerful artifact. It is a wonder that it had not killed Loki instantly.

'Welcome home, my princes.', the deep gravely voice greets them.

Thor bows slightly. 'Heimdall. It is good to see you.', Loki says, smiling like an idiot. He turns towards the bridge again but can spot no one else.

'It is good to see you in person again as well, Prince Loki.', he smiles when he notices Loki's disappointment. 'I have delivered the message of your return to the All-father.'

Loki scowls. He had expected at least some reaction from his former family especially since Heimdall still greets him with his old title.

'He grants you an audience later today when you are rested, my Prince. Rest assured, the king and the queen are more than happy that both of you are back.' He seems to ponder over his next words. 'I will bring you to the palace now. There is someone who desperately wants to see you.' The keeper smiles but does not elaborate further.

Wordless Heimdall turns to the city. Thor picks up their duffel bags again and hands the Tesseract over to the guardian of the bridge who takes it and puts it in an energy drawing cell to keep it from being activated. Three horses already stand a few hundred yards away from where the Bifrost used to be. The wind isn't as strong here.

'Sirdal.' Loki steps closer to his black steed and caresses his muzzle. The horse throws his head back and neighs in contentment before nuzzling Loki's hand and neck. 'I missed you too, my friend.', he reassures his steed.

They mount their horses. Taking a detour seems to be Heimdall's goal as they do not take the direct route to the palace. Loki assumes, the guardian wants to keep the people from seeing them and corner them. He had been dead for the past almost three years and isn't quite sure the people know he isn't. Or rather if they still think that he tried to destroy one of their fellow worlds.

The outer streets of the city are almost empty and deserted. Just a few people are out and they easily evade those. Loki pulls his hood over his face when Thor does the same to stay incognito. The palace comes closer quickly and Heimdall leaves them as soon as they are within the palace walls. The guards bow deeply as soon as the two princes take off their hoods. Some servants hurry towards them and take care of the horses.

Another servant leads them to the north part of the palace. When they do not turn left again but head straight for his room, leaving Thor's rooms, which are much closer, behind them, Loki frowns but decide to let it pass. Just when Thor steps into his parlor as well and the servant leaves with a bow.

'Why don't we go to your rooms?', he asks his brother as Thor drops the bags to the ground.

The blond blushes slightly and stares straight ahead where the servant man vanished. He swallows, apparently trying to find an answer. Thor opens his mouth several times. 'When you.. when I thought you dead, I, er, I moved to your chambers.' His voice goes up at the end as if he is asking Loki. 'To be closer to you.', he quickly explains.

Loki laughs. A warm feeling spreads in his chest. Fondly he pats Thor's shoulder. 'I understand. You could have warned me though, my love.' He notices that the room looks somewhat different than from how he left it though he cannot place it properly. Not many things have been moved and all of his furniture and things are still in place, still the smell in the air is more earthly and like a summer day seconds before the first rain drops fall.

'Well, soon enough we will share our chambers anyway. I just wanted to be closer to you. But I am not alone.' Loki frowns when Thor looks over his shoulder towards his second bedroom. 'I wasn't the only one missing you.'

'Mother?'

Thunderstruck the ravenette turns around. A handsome young man with sandy blond hair stands in the doorway, a smile firmly on his face. 'Sleipnir.', he breathes. He seems more grown up than he had been when Loki left. Loki's throat constricts painfully.

'Hello, Mother.' His smile stretches further and tears are in his bright eyes. The ravenette laughs and sobs at the same time, the taller man crossing the remaining distance between the two of them but stops two feet away. Loki blinks away the tears and reaches up to touch his cheek.

Sleipnir turns his face a little to lean into the touch. 'My little one.' His voice breaks at the end and his beloved son throws himself into Loki's waiting arms. He still feels to overwhelmed to do much more than cling on the sandy haired man and let the tears flow. Thor watches them with a teary smile.

'What are you doing here? How..?' His questions trail off as Loki draws back a little to look at Sleipnir again.

'I missed you so much. Thor invited me to stay.' He looks to the other blond for reassurance.

'You're my family, Loki's son. Soon we will all be a family.',Thor answers solemnly.

Sleipnir's eyes shine as his gaze flits between them. 'Really?'

'Yes.' Thor steps closer and takes Loki's hand, running his thumb over the delicate ring.

'Congratulations.', Sleipnir says, hugging both of them.

'I am sorry, I left you, sorry I was not the parent you deserve.', Loki feels the urge to say the words before he is too far gone with happiness. How can he deserve to be happy with Thor and, once again, put his son off?

Sleipnir shakes his head. 'You did what was best. I would not wish for another mother. Ever. You protected me.'

'I should have fought harder, should have insisted on you staying with me.' Somehow no one seems to understand that. He wasn't just a child anymore, he should have done so much more.

'You were also barely more than a child.' Sleipnir shakes his head. 'I had the best life.'

Loki huffs. 'You were born to a royal family.'

'And I always had you to take care of me. I never had to deal with court.' He laughs mirthlessly. 'I have been here for a really short time but, really, I am not sure I can deal with it even now, and people aren't even focused on me. All this etiquette and the people.. It is tedious, Mommy. I rather enjoy all the freedom of not being forced into this official form all of the time.', he admits with an apologetic smile.

With a half-smile Loki asks for his life at the palace.

With gleaming eyes Sleipnir tells Loki all about his life with an enthusiasm that is utterly him. He tells him about his life, how he misses his friends he used to play with on the pastures of the palace, how much he had learned from Frigga and how he spends most of his time in the library to become as smart as everyone else. Loki listens with rapt attention to everything his son has to say.

'And you must meet Laufey!', his eyes brighten up when he remembers that particular bit of his life. 'He wants to meet you and get to know you. He is really nice and he asked me to visit him.'

'He knows.', Thor fills him in just when Loki is about to ask.

'But only if you allow.' Pleading enters Sleipnir's stormy gray eyes. 'I told him you would never try to conquer a world! You can come with us, he wants to show me all of Jotunheim. He said they even have a really big library and that I can use it.'

Loki laughs softly and reaches out to caress his cheek. 'You've grown up so much. You build a life on your own.' Somehow the knowledge makes him a little sad but also incredibly proud. 'I love you.'

'I love you too, Mommy. Does that mean I can go?', the excitement is back in his voice and a grin spreads across his face that could light up all of Asgard. No wonder Laufey had a soft spot for his grandson. Who could say no to such a spirit?

'Yes.', Loki chuckles. He is not particularly fond of the idea of his son going away so soon but he knows Sleipnir deserves the best he can get.

A knock on the door ends their little family reunion. A servant enters. 'My Princes. The king wishes all of you to join him in the throne room after a meal.' Apparently the message of Loki's arrival had spread through the palace as the woman does not seem fazed about his presence.

Loki nods his acknowledgment and a few trays are carried in and placed on the table in the corner. The servants leave with a bow.

'Are you ready for this, brother?', Thor asks, worry lacing into his voice.

The ravenette takes a deep breath and releases it in a huff. 'Well, in a second.' He stands up and heads for his bedroom, going straight to the tall mirror next to his wardrobe. Though in the last few weeks he had come to accept his new form, he feels uncomfortable changing when he doesn't see. Slowly the magic concealing his skin melts away and the blue that was hidden for so long, comes into sight again. Green eyes color red as deep ridges part his skin.

'Breathtaking.', Thor whispers. When he had stepped into the doorway, Loki cannot say. He tries an insecure smile. His lover had seen him on numerous occasions in this skin and Loki tries his best to get used to it but he still can't fathom why his lover finds this even remotely attractive. The ravenette had come to terms with this new form, not least because of the incident in the prison cell, but not with showing others, especially a whole throne room full of people who probably still hate Jotnar.

Sleipnir comes into the room from behind Thor. 'You want to go like this?', he asks, his eyes going wide. He had never seen Loki like this and wonders if somewhere underneath his skin this blue also looms.

'Yes. It's better to start with all the cards on the table.', Loki tells himself as much as the other two men. 'If Odin accepts me now back as his son, our relationship will be even more burdened than before. The people will revolt against this if I turn back just on cue. I am a shape-shifter, they would think it a farce to cheat Laufey or to pretend we're not related. As an excuse. A show.'

Thor sighs but nods. 'I understand the necessity. It will certainly guarantee you their undivided attention.'

Loki huffs. He does not doubt he would have had it anyway. They silently eat their meal, all too nervous for light conversation. The blue shape seems to fascinate Sleipnir. He is also part Jotun so Loki would have to ask Thor if he had seen Sleipnir in a form similar to his. His son is much taller than Loki is, so he certainly has some Jotun genes in him.

He thinks highly of the next servant walking in to fetch them for not screaming. Loki blames the presence of the Jotnar for his lack of reaction. His eyes may widen considerably but otherwise he seems unfazed. Then again, it is his job not to look like he is judging the rulers of this realm.

A deep breath is all the preparation he needs before Loki rises to his feet. The other two follow and together they leave Loki's chambers and head towards the throne room. He had dressed in his second ceremonial armor without the outer layers to show off the blue skin. The green is in nice contrast to his red eyes, his forearms are free.

The hallways are almost blinding Loki with their light as his eyes are more sensitive to it. Thor takes his left hand and Sleipnir his right to show him his support. The servant walks in front of them, not that they would need a guide through the house they grew up in. The group doesn't meet anyone, the ravenette guesses all the palace inhabitants are assembled to witness the return of the second prince.

Well, there goes that.

Loki knows the second they will see him they will all know, will all see the lie just as he had seen. The big doors to the gigantic room open and the three men step inside, letting go of each other. The servant steps aside as silence settles in the room for a short moment when the doors swing shut with a slight creak.

Gasps go through the crowd as the people try to deduce who the small Frost Giant could be before Loki is recognized and the chatter gets even louder. Thor walks a step behind him on his right, next to him Sleipnir keeps up and easily towers the others.

They were expecting the glorious return of their proud prince and his golden brother, coming from Midgard after a victorious battle. What they got is a lot of confusion and, for some, an explanation why Loki never seemed to fit in anywhere.

Loki straightens his back some more as he steps between the lines of the people staring and glaring at him and he fixes his eyes on the throne and the one-eyed man he called his father for almost all his life. Frigga stands next to the throne and a beautiful smile adorns her face. Laufey stands at the foot of the stairs leading to the throne. A look of amazement and wonder and no small part of amusement is on his face. Though these friendly faces are not what is in Loki's center of sight. Odin frowns a little but somewhere in the depths of his eye Loki fancies seeing pride.

That gives him the strength to continue his way and fall to one knee in front of the stairs, his left hand curled over his heart. 'All-father.', Loki greets him when he looks up again. The others behind him copy his gesture and they stand up together when Odin motions them to. Sleipnir slips to the side.

'Welcome home, my sons.' His voice easily carries through the big hall, ending all chatter instantly. 'Welcome, Prince Thor, welcome, Prince Loki.'

'We thank you for the homely welcome, All-father. It is an honor to be greeted as such.'

'I have been watching you and your deeds on Midgard. You have saved the realm of the mortals at the hazard of your lives, and by doing so also saved your two homeworlds and the rest of the nine realms. You have both gone a long way since you were last on Asgard and I am happy to find you both safe and sound once more. A lot has changed, for all of us. The threat of the Mad Titan was unveiled and we will need to ready ourselves to face it. Loki, when you went away you were known as the second heir to my throne and you return as the rightful heir of Jotunheim which you have always been. We thought you dead and are glad beyond words to find you alive.'

Loki bows deeply in acknowledgment. 'I thank you, All-father.'

'As you have chosen to step in front of us in your natural form, I assume your time in hiding is over. And I owe the people of Asgard an explanation.' It is a well rehearsed story about being a link between their cultures, a future Jotun king accustomed to Asgardian tradition and with the possibility to reunite the two realms. Odin admits openly that he took Loki though he veils the reasons and leaves it up to Loki to decide whether he knew all his life or not. Of course Thor didn't know anything in the official version neither. In his youth he had too hard tried to persuade his father to march against Jotunheim again to end the realm of monsters and everyone knows that. With his brother being Jotun and his unwavering love for the ravenette it is the only acceptable version of events.

When the All-father finishes the silence stretches out until Laufey steps in front. 'Loki, my first born, I hereby accept you back to my family and welcome you joyfully, Loki Laufeyson.' He tosses a quick glance to Thor who still stands a few inches behind Loki.

There are a few people clapping awkwardly when seeing the smile on Odin's face.

'Tell our people of your journeys so we might understand what happened.', Loki's former father asks them. As if on cue Thor steps forward, looking for a moment at Loki before turning back to Odin.

'When I reached Midgard I was prepared to find my deranged brother. What I found was what I could never prepare for. A few years ago, Father, you asked me to find a mate. And I have found one. One who will always have my back in the midst of a battle. Father, King Laufey, I ask your allowance to marry Loki, the son of both of you, for we have found more than brothers within each other during our time on Midgard.' He stands tall and proud and takes Loki's hand to show their union. A few enraged calls come from the crowd behind them and a low grumble goes through the rows. Whatever they expected, it is not this and the rabble isn't happy with this development.

Odin brings Gungnir to the ground to recreate silence. 'I told you that you have free choice over your consort and I will not step back from my word. If it is your wish to marry than I bless this union.' It sounds rehearsed, as if Odin already had been counting on this proclamation.

This time the wave of anger is not as loud but still as palpable. The people had expected their king to be against this union that hadn't even been tried to be disguised as a political marriage. Loki feels that the only thing keeping the rabble from killing him instantly is the respect the Asgardians have for their rulers. He would have to be careful in the near future.

Soon after this renewed outburst Odin declares the audience to be over and they all draw back to his private study, Laufey, Sleipnir, Frigga and Odin, Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three, and Loki. The people will need time to digest all these information.

Frigga immediately welcomes her sons back and hugs them close. She caresses Loki's cheek before hugging him as well. 'Welcome back.', she whispers low enough for no one else to hear. 'I missed you so much.'

'I missed you too.', he admits. For a moment it feels like nothing changed and he could still be Frigga's second son. Then the moment is gone.

xXxXx

After embracing his mother and being welcomed in private by his father, Thor stands aside to watch his now official fiancé, who turned back to his Asgardian form. His eyes sparkle with joy and happiness and Thor hopes that will never change. Frigga seems equally happy to have them both back.

'I guess congratulations are in order.', a female voice says calmly, disrupting his thoughts.

He turns around surprised to find Sif standing two steps behind him. Thor grins widely at her. 'Lady Sif.'

'Prince Thor.' She inclines her head in a mock bow before Thor pulls her into a bear hug.

'I missed you, my friend.', he admits as he lets her go.

'As I missed you.' She looks in Loki's direction. 'You're quest was successful, I see.'

'Yes, we secured Midgard and protected the nine realms from the Mad Titan.', he says with a smile. 'With you and the Warriors Three it would have been a lot easier.'

'That was not exactly what I meant.', Sif replies with some bitterness in her voice. 'I hope you will be happy.' Thor hears the silent 'as happy as we could have been'. He takes her hand and kisses it lightly, trying to convey what he cannot hope to express.

Delicately Sif pulls her hand from his grasp. He takes a deep breath. This might be his last chance to safe their most treasured friendship. The dark haired female had always been there for him when he needed her. And all Thor had brought her was pain and heartache.

'I think I never apologized properly. For everything.' He makes a vague hand gesture, not quite looking at her. He knows that for a long time Sif had hoped she would be the one being introduced to court as Thor's betrothed. It is his own fault, Thor knows that as well, for giving her such hopes. When they were younger he had thought maybe she would be the female making him forget all about Loki. For some moons he had courted her, made her fall in love with him and pretended to be happy, that she was the raven haired Asgardian he wanted in his bed. 'I told you I wasn't ready.'

She lies a hand on his shoulder and he finally looks at her. Though there is hurt in her eyes and a sadness he put there, she smiles despite the slight redness of her eyes. 'You weren't ready to let him go. I know how that is.' Sif looks down briefly, licking her lips.

'I am sorry for the hurt I have caused you.'

'I know.' She sighs. 'And I will forgive you. In time.'

'That is more than I deserve.' He had known all along she had loved him before he asked her, had known he would never reciprocate such feelings.

'But I am happy that you finally got what you wanted.'

'I hope you will find the same love someday.'

She sighs but nods. When she turns to leave, Thor is uncertain if it won't be the last time he sees her. She had been planning on leaving Asgard to fight in another realm for some time and he guesses she just waited for a reason to leave. Now that her last hope is crushed that there will ever be a future with the first and only prince of Asgard, Thor had given her all the reason she needs.

xXxXx

His mother caresses his cheek one last time before stepping to Thor to greet him properly. The blond had been talking quietly with Sif in a corner. Loki wonders briefly what she wants but gets distracted by red eyes scrutinizing him. He can feel their gaze linger on him almost like a physical touch.

Turning around, Loki finds Laufey approaching from the side. He is taller than his supposed son, as he had noticed earlier. Now Loki finally gets the chance to take a better look at him from up close instead of a hurried glance from afar.

'King Laufey.' Loki bows a little.

The Jotun smiles. 'Prince Loki.' He inclines his head, amusement shining in the red eyes. Loki can't tell if he is being mocked or not. 'It is nice to finally meet you.'

xXxXxXx

 **Aaaand, the end. Of part one. This is where I originally intended to leave you all and maybe write a sequel in the far future but I got absorbed in Phase 2/the Infinity Wars and I think it is merely a continuation of this story and not a completely independent one. So, I will not go through Phase 2, not really at least, there will be more than major changes to the whole plot lines, because first of all, the reality stone just sucked and the rest was a little boring as well. This chapter was more like wrapping up all plot threads I started and don't really want to take into the next part.**

 **Next week there will be a kind-of epilogue for this story line and then, in two weeks I will start posting here the newest adventures (and I will change the category to Thor-Avengers crossover when I start with part 2). Until then, have a nice weekend!**

(Thank you for all the feed-back and for reading! Reviews mean a lot to me :3 )


	41. Epilogue

Epilogue

Thanos sits on his throne and tries to hold back his scowl. He had placed several guards on the place in front of him and a lot more wait just for his word to come running here. On the surface no one would see the nervousness that had befallen the titan. In the middle of the space the black haired immortal walks up and down, waiting impatiently for their prisoner to arrive.

Of course the man waiting is a mere copy of the man he originally wanted, shaped to follow his will and to Thanos' liking. The fire of his hate and anger are still burning, and that's all he cares about. Probably Thanos should thank the spoiled, moody Asgardian for he had gotten an even better ally than he first thought he could get. When Thanos had seen the destruction of that military base, he knew that a man capable of doing this in mere minutes would be a valuable asset, his anger was something Thanos could understand. Extracting the part of that Asgardian that was infatuated with his lover made that anger more pronounced and turned the feelings into hate which is more than Thanos could have wanted. Still, the defying immortal had forced Thanos to use much more strength on gaining said ally than he had wanted, and he will make that insolent man pay for that.

The purple titan had been against this whole ordeal but unfortunately the new Prince Loki is just as stubborn as his original and had insisted upon this meeting so long that Thanos finally gave in but not without taking further security measures. Though the male, well now female, is mortal, her death would mean the end of his plan and Thanos is not stupid enough to underestimate her. She had tried to collect her strength but it is not enough for an attack, still, it is not enough to pacify him. She had been strong, has extensive knowledge she had locked away in her mind so his imposter has no access to it and she still defies Thanos though he had humiliated, tortured and almost killed her.

Finally the brown haired is lead onto the platform by two of his guards, he hadn't wanted to give her the feeling that he still fears her. She is broken, Thanos tells himself. And his copy is strong.

Then everything goes to hell. The second the female touches Prince Loki's bare skin, Thanos knows it is too late. The copy doesn't struggle, doesn't put up a fight as she sucks all the energy and seidr out of him. Thanos rises and tries to stop her but she already accessed the cosmic energies around them and is gone in a flash but not without grinning at him first. The Prince collapses to the ground when Thanos has finally gathered enough energy around him to stop the female. The shock transforms quickly into fury and there aren't a lot of subjects left to feel it.

He almost kills his copy in a desperate attempt to make that smiling piece of filth feel some of its pain. He will regret this. They will all regret ever defying the great Thanos. Until now he hadn't planned a way to find Asgard, knowing nothing on that world is of any use or consequence to him. But for this he would find the world that bastard calls his home and burn it down until nothing will ever live on it again.

When his anger subsides a little into a cold burning hate, he uses his powers to find the real object of it. Thanos knows the would-be prince is alive and probably arrived on Midgard though he cannot find him. The trace is lost somewhere near where Thanos picked him up. The bloody lump of flesh is taken away by his guards to be healed. To kill it would do no good and everything he did would have been for nothing. Thanos calms himself by saying that no one will see Loki, Prince of Asgard, in that broken mortal who left and every warning would be in vain. No one will doubt that his copy is the real thing, and even if, who cares? That won't protect Earth and Asgard couldn't help them either way. Their transporter had been destroyed, Thanos hadn't planned that but it is certainly a nice side effect.

After he inspected the army's progress in preparation, he walks into the buildings hidden away under the black stone and goes to the infirmary. Thanos is annoyed by his own lack of self control when he sees the mess his copy is. Fortunately it is breathing. 'Inform me when he wakes up and keep the scepter at the ready.' Thanos need to erase the memories of his attack from the mind of his copy to make sure it does not hold a grudge against the titan.

xXxXx

With gritted teeth he watches the mortals destroy his army by firing a missile at his warship. The Chitauri, only kept alive by their armor and the electricity coming from the ship that powers their life-sustaining systems, collapse as well as his Leviathans. Neither of them can live without the armor surrounding them and when that damned mortal had dived into the portal with the weapon, he had felt his anger rise. Not only didn't his useless army stop him, they didn't even try, too sure about themselves to think the mortal could hurt them with such a puny weapon.

And though the Chitauri had been bred with only one purpose in life, to conquer and destroy Earth, their loss is still a loss. A loss his other armies would avenge.

His hands are clenched. He would have his revenge, they would pay for this. They would all pay for this.

The Commander of his Chitauri tells him of their defeat, claiming the mortals to be too strong to be conquered. Thanos could laugh at him. A single mortal had tossed one missile at their ship, destroying effectively a whole army. But not because they are advanced. Or even strong. Just because no one stopped him. 'It is to court death.' Apparently the Other expects punishment as he almost crawls on the floor. Thanos turns to the mewling creature and grins. They still hadn't realized the bigger plan. Actually, these change of events might even be in Thanos' favor.

He would hunt them down, one by one, make them suffer before killing them. And the Tesseract as well as the scepter would be their downfall without them realizing it. Loki thought he would know Thanos' plans. He turns his gaze to the events on Midgard. Their little group builds up their beloved city, not guessing what is about to come. No one had ever not succumbed to the temptation of owning the infinity stones. Maybe they would even spare him needing to find them all. The thought makes Thanos laugh.

They would play their little part in his play and then, like the rest of the universe, would die.


	42. Chapter 40 Developments

Developments

 _We accept the love we think we deserve.  
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower _

Smiling Loki climbs the last stairs and opens the doors at the top. The day is still young, the sun is shining though some clouds already hang in the sky and talk about rain in the afternoon. The high landing the ravenette had stepped on, offers a perfect view over to the sea and over the city. The golden city glimmers in the sun light, some of the noise from the markets drifts up to the balcony. Someone, probably Frigga, had made a garden out of the otherwise empty landing. Some trees grow up here, their blossoms exhale their scent all over the place, Loki could smell them long before he had reached the top stair. The scarlet red blooms stand out between the light green leaves. Autumn is coming but they still radiate a feeling of spring and serenity. The golden bushes line the sides of the long stretched landing.

At the end of it a silent lonely figure stands and watches the sky with the dark gray clouds rolling in from the north. Loki clears his throat as to not startle the sandy haired man. Sleipnir turns around with a smile.

'I thought I would find you here.', Loki says when he walks to where his son had settled and stands next to him.

Sleipnir's grin lights up. 'And I was hoping I'd be found. When are you leaving?', he asks, turning back to the city. He still hasn't quite gotten used to living among so many Asgardians and often draws back. Since the announcement of his royal birth, his princely status in Jotunheim, the royal minions have been crowding him and even more people had tried to get into his good graces, annoying and slightly overwhelming him. Sleipnir had found this little sanctum which only the royal family has access to.

'In a few hours. I didn't want to say good bye in front of everyone.', Loki answers, putting an arm around his son's waist. 'I guess I can't talk you into coming with us?' He smiles ruefully because he already knows the answer. More than once he had made Sleipnir the offer to come with Thor and him for a few weeks.

'I'm sorry, Mom, but not yet.' Loki nods. The first three centuries of his life he had seen nothing but the palace grounds and the immediate surroundings of the city, he didn't wish for anything more than to run around all day and be free, be with his family. After Loki's apparent death Laufey had taken Sleipnir under his wing and he had slowly been introduced to court and its workings. The last one and a half years, ever since Loki had officially been proclaimed Laufeyson, Sleipnir had been forced to deal with a lot more, to be the prince he was born to be. And he tries to keep up with that role to make everyone happy, though he never asked for any of it. Visiting Jotunheim and exploring Asgard had already overwhelmed him, he doesn't need any more impressions to cloud his mind.

'I know. Somewhen, maybe in a few years.', the ravenette agrees. The relationship of Asgard and Jotunheim had gotten better all because of Sleipnir and maybe a little bit because of himself. Two realms who hadn't had any peace negotiations in over a millennium, suddenly trade with each other, are at peace and even visit each other since the Bifrost had been repaired last year.

That Asgard had not been able to reach the other realms had led some renegades to the belief that the realm eternal no longer protects them and that they are helpless, ready to be plundered. Many villages in Alfheim and Vanaheim had been destroyed, their inhabitants had fled the strip of land the bandits had claimed. Loki guesses they took the dangerous paths between the realms to reach the other realms and spread through them.

The first thing after repairing the Bifrost had been to send a group of warriors to their allies to help them fight the intruders. Thor and he had followed not long after them, having told the All-father that they, as the future rulers of Asgard, have the responsibility to protect the other realms and keep their promises to them. The fights had been easy enough to win but difficult to organize. The groups had hidden away in far distant corners to evade Asgard's warriors and await their drawing back. They hadn't bargained for Loki's sorcery nor for Thor's stubbornness. Even the wedding had had to wait because of this task.

'Yes.', he whispers.

'Shall I bring you something?'

Sleipnir puts an arm around his shoulders. 'Not necessary. Somewhen I will visit everything. At least when I have to do some negotiations.'

Loki chuckles, turning his gaze up to meet Sleipnir's. 'You need to go for fun before all of that. You won't see anything when the realms want to negotiate, they won't give you anything without gaining something in return. Trust me, I've been there.'

Loki is in his Asgardian shape and not his Jotun because it still feels better, especially when running around in this weather. Asgard is a little too warm for his natural form but Loki forces himself to take it when in public. The population of this world has to get used to think of him not as the prince's brother but as their future queen and that is easier to archive when they see the difference with their own eyes, the evidence of his origin. They stare and Loki more often than not felt uncomfortable in the first time, being judged by them and dissected. Thor and Sleipnir had helped him through that hard time but eventually he got used to it and now wears both of his skins with pride. They are proof that nothing can stop him, that he is the child of two realms and in every form the consort of the first prince of Asgard, an acceptable choice, a political choice, at least officially. As the official heir to the throne of Jotunheim, he had been perfect to seal the new made peace.

For now Loki settles sometimes for his old skin at unofficial meetings or private trips down to the market because in Asgard he wants to wear it permanently somewhen again. Some peasants and even some royalties still believe this all to be a trick but he stopped listening to these people a long time ago. The general population of Asgard had accepted their union and are even reasonable happy.

Sleipnir chuckles. 'I will keep it in mind.'

'I wish you'd come with us.', Loki says again and means it from the bottom of his heart. Finally he can offer his son the life he always deserved and finds now that he doesn't need any of that luxury.

'This is about Thor and you. I'd just be in your way.' He waves it off.

'You're never in our way. Ever. What are you planning on doing while we're of and about?' He turns back to the sky. Clouds are already hiding away the sun.

'I maybe go back to Jotunheim. Laufey offered and I am actually considering.'

'So soon.', he notes. 'Why's that?' Loki tries to keep the sadness out of his voice. He is happy that his son likes it there but it would mean being further away from each other.

Sleipnir shrugs but Loki sees his tension. After some moments the sandy haired man chews on his lip, then sighs. 'Asgard is tedious to be honest.', he says slowly. 'There are so many people and I barely have time to go out and just touch the trees and feel the grass. Jotunheim might not offer any of this but there the people don't look at me like they do here. There they respect me and see me not as some tall freak but as a member of their community. It sounds stupid but I feel more at home there than here in the palace. If you wouldn't be here again, I wouldn't have come back I think.'

'I understand, believe me, I understand this better than you might imagine. I always felt misplaced in Asgard, like I didn't belong here. And Jotunheim is beautiful.', Loki concludes with a smile.

He had been able to assure himself of that just a few moons past. The snow and the ice were magnificent, the palace in its simple and ruined beauty had been exquisite and Loki could immediately imagine growing up there. He had met his brother and Laufey had been right, there is not an ounce of magic on them, not even much of the ice magic all Jotnar possess. This had been the main reasoning that none of them can follow the king on the throne and so, Laufey had searched for a new heir and found it in Sleipnir after Loki declined his inheritance. The tall young man wasn't born to any Asgardian and Laufey had agreed to take Sleipnir as his grandson but because he hasn't been born in marriage with Thor he would never threaten the succession of Asgard.

The silence stretches out as the clouds roll over the sky. In the outskirts of the city rain is pouring down already, a visible mist spreading over the rest of Asgard quickly.

'I will miss you.', he says eventually.

'I will miss you too, little one.' The sandy haired man grins, mirth once again in his eyes.

'I am much taller than you.', Sleipnir half-heartedly complains.

'You'll always be my baby.'

'You'll come back, right?', he suddenly asks, biting his bottom lip. His eyes don't quite meet Loki's. Sometimes Loki forgets how young he still is, a child being caught in the games of adults. His height often lets everyone mistake him for a grown up. Sleipnir does his best to live up to everyone's expectations and pretends to fit into the role of a grown up prince. But in moments like this, he is again the child he truly is.

'Of course. Very soon, sweetheart. We're just visiting some friends. Then we just need to go to Alfheim, Vanaheim and Nidavellir. But these visits won't take long, just a week or two each. Then we're back here to stay.', he tries to explain and calm the younger man who isn't quite a man yet.

'And you will come back in between?' He can tell that Sleipnir is truly worries.

'I won't leave you alone. Never again. You know you can stay and go wherever you like. I will ensure no one bothers you.', Loki promises. Sleipnir looks up at him despite the height difference. Loki doesn't repeat his request of joining him and Thor.

The sandy haired man sighs. 'I hope you enjoy your stay on Midgard. I will be here when you return. Maybe..' Abruptly he stops and gazes insecure at Loki.

'What is it, little one? Hmm?'

'Maybe I could come to Midgard for a day? If I don't bother you.'

Loki reaches up to caress his cheek. 'Of course you can come. You could never bother me or Thor. I'd be glad to show you everything and introduce our friends to you. I'm sure you'll like them. But just if you really want, okay?'

'Good bye, Mommy.' He leans down to hug Loki close.

'Good bye, sweetheart.', he replies, embracing Sleipnir and never wanting to let go again.

'Shall I come to the Bifrost?'

'Do you want to?'

He draws back, he looks sad. 'Would you be mad if I don't come?'

'No, not at all. I love you and I will soon be back. Promise.' Loki smiles. They hug again and the ravenette soon makes his way downstairs again to Thor and his personal quarters. Their planned visit to Midgard would last a few weeks, maybe up to two moons but not much longer. It is not that they were expected back anytime soon but Thor and he want to return to their family rather soon again. Still, they are happy to travel to Midgard. It had been six months since they had seen their friends, the Avengers, Jane and Darcy, and back then it had been briefer than anyone wanted the meeting to be.

His new chambers lie in a different part of the castle closer to the royal wing. When Loki had chosen his former chambers he had wanted a place to withdraw, far away from anything and later far away from a certain blond god of thunder. Now his and Thor's rooms are more spacious, as befitting for the future rulers, and near the servant quarters and the throne room so they could soon start attending their respective duties. It's more secluded than the chambers their parents occupy but still too far from the library for Loki's liking.

Thor is still lying in bed despite it almost being noon. A fond smile tugs at Loki's lips when he watches his husband looking so peacefully. He still hadn't quite gotten used to the thought. For just the past six moons they have been married and Loki hadn't had much time to think clearly.

'I thought you'd never return.', Thor grumbles, opening one eye to look at him.

Loki smirks and flops down on the bed next to him. 'Have you packed your things?'

The blond groans, that apparently not being the conversation he had hoped for. 'Almost. But we won't go before lunch anyway, so no need to hurry.' He turns around to Loki, looking up at him from summer sky blue eyes.

Loki sighs. 'You still can't stay in bed all the days. Especially when people await us.', he scolds his husband. 'Mother invited us for lunch and, as I know you, you haven't even started packing your things.'

Loki had begun again to calling Frigga Mother in private though he pays attention to never call her like that when someone other than Thor, Sleipnir or Odin is present so no one would get the wrong ideas. The truth is, somehow Loki had never been angry with her, she is the woman who raised him, his real mother no matter that she isn't his biological one. The pang he had felt in his heart, when he had seen the pain in his mother's eyes as he had called her Frigga, had been surprising and shocking.

Thor huffs. 'We are still on honeymoon, the people expect us to stay in bed all day.' His hand snakes to Loki's thigh, glancing up to see how the ravenette would react.

The whole business with the ravagers, the outlaws, and the escaped prisoners from various realms had given them a lot to do when the couple returned to Asgard. It had even delayed their wedding because they agreed to wait until they could be sure that everyone from all the realms could come and that no more dangers than usual waited out there for them. So they went out and fought side by side.

The wedding ceremony was long and tedious, the celebrations stretching over two weeks as was appropriate for a royal couple, approximately a year after their long visit to Midgard. Their friends had come to their wedding on invitation, being for the first time not on their home planet anymore had been exciting and interesting for all of them. Unfortunately the ceremonies had kept the newly weds from their friends though they had entertained themselves greatly despite the little time they were able to spend with the people they came for. That was six months ago and Loki and Thor had been even more busy since then. Frigga forces them to go on a long honeymoon, meaning to visit all the important allies and renew the relationships with the rulers of these. The first few moons they had been allowed to stay in Asgard and enjoy their new relationship here, away from prying eyes. Needless to say not many people saw them in that time when they had been finally allowed to sleep officially in one bed and show their love to everyone. The next two moons had been spend on Jotunheim as Loki's home world, the next stop would be Midgard as their next favorite world where they would meet their friends and finally really relax. After the short break the other three allied realms worlds.

'Seriously?' Laughing he shakes his head while swatting Thor's hand from his thigh. 'You should get ready.'

Loki picks up the book from the nightstand he had been reading last night, decidedly ignoring Thor's whine.

'How come you're allowed to entertain yourself, brother, and I am not?' The blond pouts. Loki has to admit he looks rather cute like this.

'I have already packed my bags and am ready to leave since the morning. You haven't even started.' Thor wiggles up a little to sit up like Loki.

'Well, I don't need that much. In fact, I only need you.', the last words are whispered into Loki's ear while Thor tries to pry the book from his hands.

'Hey! That's mine.', he complains, glaring at him and stretches his arm so Thor won't reach the book.

The blond looks like a kicked puppy. Loki takes pity in him.

'Well, if you hurry now, we might still find a moment.', he promises, putting the opened book in his lap.

'No, you will just shoo me out to the Bifrost and manage to put me off till who knows when.', Thor claims while pouting at him.

'Well, that's true.', Loki admits straightforward, picking up his book once again.

Thor tries again to take the book from him. Loki stretches to the side but Thor merely rolls onto him until he can grab a hold of the offending object and throw it on the ground.

'Much better.', he mutters and leans down for a kiss.

Chuckling Loki tries to draw back. 'We have to go, we don't have time.' Still he eagerly reciprocates the kiss and even allows Thor to explore his mouth with his tongue. A soft moan leaves the ravenette when two greedy hands stroke down his body to cup his bottom.

Laughing he breaks the kiss. 'Go, pack your bags, you insatiable buffoon.'

'I just wanted to but then you came in and looked so divine. You distracted me.' Thor's murmur is low.

'Well, then hurry.', Loki says when the blond begins to kiss his throat. He half-heartedly tries to shove Thor off. 'We want to go, the others will probably already wonder when we are.'

'I will have to share you for the next weeks, can't I have at least this moment?', Thor asks, his voice is a deep grumble that sends shivers down Loki's spine. The words are breathed against his neck and resumes the kissing eventually.

'You already had me this morning. And twice last night. Now, please, we're already late.', he reminds his husband again, trying not to press himself up closer.

Thor presses his lips on his to shut him up. 'I love you. And we're their guests. They can wait for another moment.' With that he is slipping between Loki's legs and runs his hands down Loki's sides.

'Thor, we're late.', he says, wiggling his hips and biting his lips, hoping the blond Asgardian would ignore his words though both of them know they are true.

'Let us be late. Come on, I can feel you, you know?' Thor grins widely. 'No need to pretend, my love.', he whispers against his lips.

'Please.'

Thor groans loudly and lets his head fall on Loki's chest. 'Do we really have to?'

'Don't you want to see our friends again?', Loki asks.

'Of course, I missed them as well. But it's still our honeymoon.', he reasons but Loki can tell he has given it up to talk Loki into a quick tumble in the sheets. 'But we will still stand to our agreement, right?', he asks with hope shining in his eyes.

'Yes, love. Sure.'

'So..', he drawls, raising his head. 'Tonight?'

'Can't await it, my husband.'

Thor grins triumphantly and kisses him before exiting their bed and heading towards the dressing room. Some moments later Loki chuckles when he hears the quiet curse from the room. He stands up and goes to the small side chamber to help the blond pack his things, knowing otherwise Thor would anyway forget half of them.

Loki turns into his Jotun form before they leave the room to head down the corridor to their mother's chambers. She awaits them already and has some servants bring in their lunch.

Loki's relationship with Frigga had become complicated. She is his mother but finding out that it's not real had broken something in him. When his former parent told him about the adoption, he wasn't sad because of Odin or Thor, but because he lost his mother, the only person who had always been there for him. Frigga reassured him many times that he will always be her son but he feels like it's impossible. Loki is her son-in-law and outside of their chambers they have to treat each other like that. And inside, he isn't sure how to treat her right.

He feels uncomfortable because he can't shake the feeling that he still has lost her somehow. He doesn't want the wall that is between them, however, he has no idea what to do about it. Loki loves her but he is no longer her son and that breaks his heart as well as hers. He wants it all to be like it used to.

'Are you planning to talk to the leaders of Midgard? A new ally strong enough to fight of a threat like the Chitauri would be a valuable asset.', Frigga says while the servants are still in the room.

'They have no unified government but I am sure, Stark will be able to organize something.' They had spoken with their father about this matter and Odin plans to integrate Midgard further into the nine realms should its inhabitants want that. The servants finally leave and they eat their lunch in light conversation.

'Have you everything in your bags?', Frigga asks after they finished. They nod. The servants had already brought them to the Bifrost. 'I guess it's time then. We should pick up Sleipnir.', she says with a smile.

Loki merely shakes his head. 'He won't come, we already said good bye.', he informs her.

In a carriage they head for the Bifrost, having talked to Odin in the evening and him being in a meeting he wouldn't tell them about just yet. Loki glances back at the wonderful city he grew up in, already missing it. There are a lot of people in the streets wishing them a good trip.

Loki turns back to his pale Asgardian shape as soon as they reach the Bifrost. His blue form would just make the Midgardians uncomfortable. Permanently changing his form had unfortunately become a big part of his life but it's not as tedious as he imagined it. Thor is a great help as well and usually claims he finds every form of Loki endearing. He wouldn't mind having an only-Jotun husband but then again, he doesn't has to face the stares.

'Good bye.' Frigga hugs them both. 'Come back soon.'

'We will, Mother.', Loki assures her. Maybe some day, he thinks with a wistful smile, it's all going to be alright again between them.

The blinding light of the Bifrost engulfs Thor and him and within seconds the big park of New York materializes around them. The summer sun is shining down, the city noise already reaches their ears. The trees are still bright green, the summer just started on Midgard and the air is pleasantly warm.

Loki blinks a few times and notes the deep burns in the grass under their feet. The symbols stretch around them in a circle with a width of several meters. A group had gathered around the Asgardians as they are quickly recognized by the people who they had saved, others merely stare because they must have made quite an entrance. The park is crowded on this warm sunny day so more and more people come to see what the commotion is about. Some pull out their phones to take photos and some even dare to come closer slowly but none dare enter the burned circle. Loki feels sorry for destroying the beauty of the park.

Thor greets the Midgardians with a smile and he takes Loki's hand. He has to remind himself that here they were never officially brothers. Loki puts up his best smile as well. They are the future rulers of another realm visiting.

'How are we going to reach our friends?', Thor asks when he picks up the two duffel bags which Loki had magically enhanced so they could contain more. He is sure Tony would dissect them as soon as they'd get into his hands.

'I think we will either have to wait until Stark sees us on the news,', Loki points at the crowd, 'or we could walk. It isn't too far, I guess.' The plan had been to land on top the Tower but that didn't work, Heimdall said that there wouldn't be enough space. So their friends would now wait in vein, but probably not long. Tony's AI had access to a lot of information so it wouldn't be too long until he'd inform the Avengers of their current location.

'No reason to stay here. Let's walk, love.' Thor turns to him, moving the bags into his right hand and offering his other one. Loki takes it with a smile and they start towards the crowd towards where Loki guesses the Tower must be since he cannot see it yet.

The crowd parts for them but some people are brave enough to address them, ask them questions or ask for autographs. Loki wonders if Asgard would ever greet them like this, be this enthusiastic about their return and he happy about their happiness. Their wedding had been met with mixed reactions at home. Some had been happy for them as they had seen that Thor's and his love is real, others had been skeptical about a Jotun queen. The treaty between their people hadn't been in place for long and the distrust that had build over centuries is not that easily overcome.

They chat with the crowd and answer some questions and when they finally reach a street, a black expensive looking car already waits on the side of the street for them. The back window rolls down.

'Thought you guys wanted to come to our Tower?' A grinning Tony leans out of the backseat. 'Want a ride?'

Loki laughs and climbs into the car, Thor right behind him. 'Jarvis?'

'Jarvis.', Tony says. 'The others are already waiting. We've been expecting you for hours.'

'Sorry, but we couldn't land there.', Loki explains after greeting his friend.

Tony frowns slightly. 'Last time you could. You even picked us up from the Tower. Anyway. You made quite an entrance, you guys made it already to the news.' A gleeful smile is on his face. 'So, yeah, prepare to be overrun.' True to his word the Tower is surrounded by a lot of people already, as the car drives by them Loki gets a good look.

'Because of us?' Neither Loki nor Thor can believe their eyes.

'We're all heroes now. ' Tony shrugs. 'You've been gone for quite some time. People want to know what you did and everything. But don't you worry, they won't come inside.'

Tony's driver takes them right into the Tower so they wouldn't have to face the reporters and fans just yet. They spend the afternoon and evening catching up with their friends. The rest of the Avengers had organized a little party to welcome them back. It's already past midnight when Thor and Loki withdraw to their rooms.

'Are you sure about this?', Thor asks hovering over him. The hope in his eyes betrays the question and brings a smile to Loki's lips. How could he possibly not be sure?

Loki nods and seals their lips in a kiss.

xXxXxXx

 **So, welcome to the second part! Hope you enjoyed reading, I promise there will already be more action and suspense in the next part, so stay tuned for more :)**

 **I have the feeling I should say something. This part of the story will revolve not solely around the movies that are in Phase two but also not-there-yet movies including the Infinity Wars. I don't know what the MCU will plan and I won't take the way it has taken until now. I will probably take some stuff from the comics (I will point it out if I do) but otherwise this next part won't be canon with anything. Yeah, so I hope you'll like it and will continue this journey with me. There will be more Thor and the Avengers from next part on, promise.**


	43. Chapter 41 Candle In The Wind

Candle In The Wind

 _Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.  
Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds_

The cherry blossoms shine bright red between the leaves. Thor sits on a blanket in the orchard of the palace. The sun is shining, making his blond hair look like gold. The invisible birds sing of their joy for all to hear.

Loki is in the shade of the trees, wandering in between their endless rows. The grass beneath his bare feet is soft and it feels like walking on clouds. Thor stands up to follow Loki around but the ravenette makes it a game to evade his husband. Fast he hastes around trees to outrun the blond. Laughing he eventually stops and turns around to face his pursuer, to enjoy the warm summer day with his lover and fall into his arms.

Then he is falling.

Underneath his feet the grass gives in, opening up to an all-consuming blackness that draws Loki down and swallows him whole. Within the blink of an eye all the light is gone. Loki tries to cry out, maybe in fear, maybe to warn his lover, maybe to silence the unbearable silence, but no sound leaves his throat, no last gaze on his lover is left for him. He is falling or floating. Every direction looks the same and all sense of his body leaves him. There is nothing, no time, no space, no air. No Loki. Just the darkness. The all-consuming black abyss.

Desperately he tries to get air into his lungs and scream. He isn't suffocating but somehow he can't seem to get enough air into his lungs. The darkness is closing in on him, trying to extinguish the last bit of Loki that is left.

Then he feels rough hands seize him, a weight pressing down on him and still he can't breathe. No, not again, crosses his mind and he struggles against the hold, knowing at the same time it is in vain.

'No!', he screams, his voice finally working again. Anything, but please, not this. Tears moisten his cheeks but it's still so dark that Loki cannot make out his attacker. Though he doesn't need to. The musty smell is in his nose, telling him of the hideous creature pinning him down. This wasn't supposed to happen.

'Loki!' The ravenette whimpers to get away from the Chitauri and the Mad Titan, winding out of their grasp. Big arms encircle him and he cries out, sobbing, an incoherent stream of words is leaving his mouth. A bright light blinds him. Loki becomes aware that he is lying on some sort of pedestal. He renews his struggle to get away from the creature. He can almost make out its slimy pale skin, the gruesome masque of its face. The knifes rattle, being readied to pierce his skin at the command of someone just beyond the circle of light.

'Shush, love. I got you.' The words drift to him like a dream, breaking through his haze. Loki stops struggling.

Slowly his sight clears to reveal not some alien creature pinning him down, but his husband pressing him to his chest, trying to soothe him.

'Thor.', Loki whispers, attempting to look past him. His cheeks are wet with tears, his voice hoarse from shouting.

'We're on Midgard, love. You're safe. He cannot get. I won't let him.' Thor continues to whisper sweet promises in the broad light of the artificial lamps, rocking them slightly.

Loki's sobs subside a little as the memory fades. Soft kisses are pressed repeatedly against his forehead.

'What time is it?'

'The middle of the night. Maybe you should sleep a little bit..', Thor suggests, knowing full well that Loki won't get one more minute of rest this night. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

Loki shakes his head. He had already offloaded enough on the blond. How often he had had that dream by now, he doesn't know. He just knows it doesn't lose it's horror. To be again in Thanos' hands, at his mercy, to fall into the abyss and be lost in the vastness of space. It's enough to make him shiver during daytime. Thor wants to urge him to talk about it but talking never makes anything better. It just makes the horrors seem more real, the blades sharper and the pain more acute. Thanos is powerful, Loki has no doubt that he would be able to find a way to abduct him even from Asgard to have his revenge.

The travel with the Bifrost must have stirred those old memories, made them surface again. Loki presses his eyes close just to open them mere seconds later. He can't stand the darkness. Where before he had cursed his brother for keeping the curtains not closed at night, he is now grateful for the pale light of the moon and the stars.

Something like self hatred had taken a hold of him. How can he allow himself to be so weak? He is an immortal god of Asgard, not some simpering maiden. He shouldn't need Thor's embrace to make the nightmares go away. He shouldn't have nightmares at all. A lot of worse things could have happened, Loki reminds himself. But why he cannot shake of what happened three and a half years ago, he cannot fathom.

It's not always the same scenario which he visits in his dreams. Often it is about being caught in a mortal shell once more with Thor seeing straight through him, with no recognition in his gaze. At other times Thanos had gotten Sleipnir under his control, usurping the nine realms with his son before killing him. And if Loki is really lucky, he just dies in the darkness, waking up screaming and shaking.

Thor's hand cards through his hair in an attempt to soothe him further and if Loki is honest to himself, he is tired. Tired of this all. Sometimes he only wants to fall asleep and never wake up again. As much as he wishes it to be otherwise, Thanos still has control over him, still manages to paralyze him with fear. For some time he had believed it had gotten better with the nightmares and occasional panic attacks but all it needs sometimes is one small reminder, a tiny nothing to bring Loki to the ground.

Loki lets himself slump against Thor's chest and be cuddled. Jarvis fortunately doesn't try to dim the bright lights when they lie down again.

The sun has already fully risen when Loki finally stands up and makes his way to the communal kitchen. He had left Thor a message that he'd be there so the blond wouldn't worry. His eyelids want to close again when he steps into the elevator. The past few hours he had slept, fortunately dreamless for once, and he had let Thor stay in bed. He makes enough for the ravenette and also deserves a good night time's rest and not to be woken every other hour by Loki's screams and shaking.

'Good morning.', Loki says quietly when he enters the room, surprised to actually find quite a few people. A glance to the clock over at the window confirms that it is still rather early.

'Morning!', Tony says far too happily. The brunet man, Steve and Bruce sit in the kitchen and eat breakfast.

Loki frowns suspiciously. 'Why are you even awake yet?' If he had learned one thing about Tony in the months he had lived together with him it is that he certainly doesn't stand up before noon without having a very good reason.

Tony shrugs. 'Any plans for today?', he changes the theme without answering.

'Not really. We wanted a few calm days before exploring the rest of this realm.'

'Oh, you want to visit other places?', Bruce asks, looking up from his newspaper.

'Jane said in her letters that she wouldn't be in the States at the time we'd arrive.', Loki informs him.

'Right, I remember. She didn't want to stay here after everything and apparently not even New Mexico is good enough anymore.' Tony rolls his eyes, not understanding how anyone couldn't like his home city.

Loki tries to remember where she went. Actually he would love to see her at least once, who could say when they would be in the same realm again? 'Can we go to this – London?', he asks, unsure how far away a place like that could be.

'Sure, how bout next week? We could all go, go on vacation.', Tony suggests. 'We'll take my jet, some change of scenery will do us some good, don't you think?' He takes his tablet and starts to plan their journey immediately, not accepting a 'no' as an answer.

'We can't just go.', Steve intervenes. He frowns slightly.

'Really?' Tony crosses his arms. 'And why is that, Spangles? Hmm? As far as I know I am the only one with a real job and that is being awesome. And I can as well be awesome in London. If it makes you feel better, I am sure we will find a place on the plane for your shield but apart from that there is no reason for you not to go. Our friends are back and they want to see the world. You surely will find some time for them, right? And, you know, as the Avengers we're responsible for the whole world, I believe. With my jet it won't really matter where we are if an emergency comes in.'

Steve sighs after some moments of staring at the brunet man, not being able to come up with any further argument. 'Bruce?', he asks helplessly.

The doctor seems to think about this. 'London? Why not? I am a threat anywhere, why not scare some Europeans?' He shrugs with a smile.

Tony claps his hands with a grin. 'That's settled then. Clint and Romanov wanted to leave the city for some time and why not head for Europe first?'

'Ah, here you are.' Thor enters the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He suppresses a yawn and shuffles further into the room in his sweatpants. His arms wrap around Loki's waist, he presses a soft kiss on his neck. 'Morning.'

'Why are you awake? I thought you'd still sleep.'

'Was lonely in bed without you.' Thor's fingers brush one of the worst scars of his stomach. Most of the wounds inflicted by Thanos had vanished when his magic returned and Lady Eir had worked wonders. It is a silent question about his well-being. Loki turns his head to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.

'Any plans for today, Point Break?', Tony interrupts them with a pointed smile.

'Well, I was rather hoping to spend a day without plans.' Thor's hand wanders further down his stomach. Laughing Loki smacks his hand away and walks further into the kitchen to finally get some breakfast for himself and Thor.

With a smug grin Thor sits down with the men and listens to Tony's remarks about what they would have to visit and see while being here and that they shouldn't dare to stay away again for so long.

'Actually we planned to visit Midgard earlier as the realm where we officially got engaged.', Loki informs them while starting to warm milk to cook some rice. 'It was my decision to travel to Jotunheim first.', he explains.

'Why?', Tony cries indignantly before returning to his old self. 'We were busy as well. Totally not missing you either.', Tony huffs and crosses his arms. 'Having to deal with what-was-he-called and that other – stuff.'

Loki chuckles. 'It's not that. But then we wouldn't have been here for the Convergence. And I didn't want to miss that.' He turns around to his friends when he is sure not to mess up their breakfast immediately.

'Conver- what?' Tony frowns. Bruce gives up trying to read his paper and puts it aside.

'The Convergence. And with our original plan we would have been somewhere between Asgard and Alfheim, probably the only two realms without any chance to watch it.', Loki explains with an eye-roll. The most rare event of the nine realms and his own mother had wanted to put him somewhere at that time where he wouldn't be able to see it.

One dark eyebrow stays lifted. 'And what is that?'

'The perfect alignment of the worlds. It just happens ever five thousand years.', Thor answers. Loki turns back to their rice pudding. 'During that time the borders between the realms become blurred.'

'And how does that work?', Tony chimes in, his hands itching for his notepad.

Loki waves it off. 'It's still at least a week until the signs should start and another week before the actual event happens. So, got any suggestions until then?' Loki smiles.

Tony grins, putting the theme aside for now, but certainly not forgetting. 'I think I got somethings for you.'

xXxXx

Walking through the city isn't what it used to be. Sure, Loki is used to stares but certainly not these..

'Fans.', Tony says as if that is just something that happens. He says it as if it is even something desirable. He grins, his sunglasses covering his eyes to shade them from the bright assault of a hundred cameras flashing. 'Last time I took over your publicity but your stunt yesterday, well, let's say even my influence is limited.'

'What do they want?', Loki asks with a frown.

'What they want? You.', the brunet man answers as if it is obvious. The whole Tower is surrounded by innumerable humans and their recording devises. 'You're heroes just as we are. Oh, I gotta show you the action figures they made of us! The world knows the Avengers.'

'But why all of this?' He motions to the crowd.

'Everyone wants to talk to you, know why you're here again, why you went away and stuff like that. Jay had to deal with like every TV station there is yesterday. They all want an exclusive on you. Don't worry, they'll soon be fed up, maybe we should call in a press conference and get it over with.'

'Then they would leave us alone?', Loki asks, a hint of panic in his voice.

'Nope.', Tony shatters his hopes. 'But then no TV cameras will follow you. And we might be able to reach any place without this. But you'll get used to it. We just leave Banner at home whenever this happens.', he whispers with a wink.

'Does it happen often?'

Tony admits: 'More often than one would think. We saved a city, probably the whole planet. The Avengers are superstars now. Better enjoy it until we do something to fall from their favor.' Tony musters his most winning smile before stepping outside of the Tower and just walking past the people like they aren't really there. Loki smiles as well, Thor interlaces their hands and they follow Tony.

They walk through some parks and down some streets, always being followed by at least a few dozen people but Loki does his best to ignore them. In Asgard their every step is watched as well but the people are used to their presence and don't follow them around, just look at them, some with distrust, some with unveiled disgust. These people look up to them like they are heroes, with admiration. Loki is unused to these kind of stares, this attention. Is this how Thor feels every time he walks through the streets of Asgard?

Tony is used to the 'paparazzi' and Thor can ignore everything. They both chat as if none of the strangers are there, sometimes even answer some questions for some reporters when they stop to sit down for a moment or when they are in a small restaurant at a corner.

New York had been beautiful before but now, with the warm late spring air and without the destruction, it has the same fascination on Loki all over again. A lot of buildings he had seen when visiting for the first time had vanished and new ones had replaced them. Just a big memorial reminds of the 'New York incident' and of all the Midgardians killed during it.

'I guess that's enough for today?', Tony asks after a few paparazzi refuse to leave them alone for more than twenty minutes. Loki nods gladly, being done with the world today. They are picked up by Tony's driver so they can evade their 'fans'.

'Shall I show you what Banner and I are working on? Maybe you can help us, if you want to, that is.', Tony half-asks, half-assumes when they reach the Tower. Thor prefers to spend his time catching up with his fellow comrades and leaves Loki to see Tony's lab.

'It's the Chitauri technology. If that isn't too.. trying, it would be great to have input from someone who actually can figure out how most of that stuff works.', the brunet man admits before they can enter the laboratory. For a moment Loki is tempted to either go away or get Thor as back-up but he takes a deep breath.

'I'll help wherever I can.', he promises, then opens the door.

Loki takes a long look around the big room. Every surface is occupied by strange technology, everything a testimony to the horrible events. They had collected every scrap metal piece after the invasion and brought it to a warehouse outside of the city, Loki remembers, including all the technology the slaves of the scepter had build with the exception of the Tesseract.

'What happened to that scepter?', Loki asks out of curiosity when he can't spot it. Tony had wanted to dissect any new technology that falls into his hands and the concept of the scepter had fascinated him even more so Loki sees no reason why it's not here where Tony can fiddle with it.

Tony hesitates. But he never hesitates. Loki's eyes find the genius and find him insecure for the first time since arriving on Midgard. The brunet man looks down, scratching his neck and trying everything to come up with an answer.

'Where is it?', Loki asks again. SHIELD can't seriously consider using it on other people, can they? They have seen first hand what it does to people. And Clint would certainly not agree to this, Loki is sure. He repeats his question again, more urgently.

'We don't know.' The words are whispered so low Loki almost misses them.

'What do you mean, you don't know?' Anger seeps through his voice.

Tony sighs, finally looking at Loki. 'SHIELD was a little too busy after the whole invasion thing. This stuff, everything related to the Chitauri, including the portal devise and the scepter where taken to a facility somewhere close to the city. Apparently there has been some kind of assault from an unknown hostile. A lot of Chitauri technology and the scepter were taken. How, no one knows.'

'What have they taken?', Loki demands to know. The smallest piece could have devastating effects on this world. Though the scepter is a really heavy loss. Loki remembers its effects all too well and wishes that no one had to ever come in contact with it again.

'Some gliders, some of the armor. A Leviathan.', he informs him.

'What do they want with that?', Loki asks with disgust.

'No idea. We don't even know who took everything. And if Fury would be honest he would tell us that they have no lead either.', Tony confesses. 'They possibly weren't even looking for it and don't know what it is.', he adds. They both know that these attackers probably did at least have a hunch.

'Can I help you?', Loki asks after calming himself down. Thanos can't have it. Tony would have told him if that would be the case. Without the Tesseract there is no way of regaining it for the Mad Titan.

Tony raises his eyebrows. 'Do you really want to find it?'

'No. But it will be necessary. They cannot be allowed to use it on others.', he decides.

'Don't hurry. Relax and, I don't know, enjoy your honeymoon. First we'll go to London, after that we can deal with this matter. I'll let Jarvis run some scans to find a track and then, when we return, we'll have answers. Or places we can start looking for it.'

'Okay.' Loki takes a deep breath. The brief contacts he had with that object wouldn't assist him in finding it on Midgard. The realm is too big to search for it like this without a clue where to look.

Somehow this isn't over yet. It won't ever be over as long as Thanos still threatens any world.

xXxXx

Thor had seen a lot of things but this is even for him a new view of the world. With Mjolnir he has often seen the clouds from above but this high he never flew. The world seems small as the blond looks out of the window. The ocean stretches out endlessly to all sides, only being disrupted by fluffy clouds.

The mortals seem to be used to this kind of travel as they don't even look out of the small windows occasionally to enjoy the fantastic view. Loki and Thor had taken a seat near the window to look out onto the world they want to get to know. The sun is low over the smooth polished surface of the sea, making it glisten with pure gold. The light is fading quickly though as they travel east, and the liquid gold of the ocean turns black.

Soon it is too dark to see anything outside and Thor turns to his friends. Loki sits next to him on the big sofas.

Some time later the plane lands. Thor tilts his head and pokes his finger into his ear to rid himself of the strange feeling that had come with this means of travel. He swallows and for a second the water in his ears stops deafening him. The airfield is not empty despite the time of day, the city appears to be just as awake as New York but the air is more humid and full of rain. Thor feels the clouds over them, the water they are filled with.

They grab their bags and walk over the field to a gate where the brunette mortal, Jane, and her friend await them already. The light is blinding after the dark outside and the air almost suffocating.

Introductions are exchanged because most of the Avengers hadn't met Darcy and hadn't really gotten to know Jane during her short stay in New York. Loki had told him about the two women whom he had gotten to know when he found out about his adoption.

'Where will you be staying?', Jane asks after letting go of Loki. The ravenette looks to Stark for answers.

'Central London. I booked us some nice suites.' He names her the hotel name. Thor does not doubt it is as fine a place as the Tower. The man of iron would never be content with anything but the best.

'Great! Then Darcy and I will pick you up tomorrow morning and show you a little around.' Jane is excited to show them the city.

'Sounds good. Let's say around nine?', Loki agrees. He seems to be just as happy being here as his friend is. Getting to know new cultures had always been one of Loki's favorite pastimes.

'Better at ten.' Tony shrugs when he gets some confused looks. 'Jet lack?'

'Jet what?', Thor asks.

The brunet man shrugs. 'I'll explain later, Point Break. So, Jane? What do you say?'

'Okay. Ten is great. Then we can chat and have some lunch.' She smiles widely.

'Or late breakfast.', Stark corrects her. They invite her and Darcy out for dinner, then check in at a luxurious hotel.

In the morning Jane cancels their meeting, claiming having found something extraordinary that can't wait and that she doesn't want to spoil their fun. Tony and Loki still want to pick her up and after breakfast they go to see what the emergency could have been. Thor doesn't really care about the scientific nonsense but it makes Loki happy so he doesn't bother looking in a big, exciting city for a lost scientist.

It's almost time for lunch when Stark finds out her location. The rest of the Avengers agree to come with them and go explore the city from there on. Dr. Banner apparently is just as interested in science as Loki and Tony, so he already decided to stay with the scientist instead of heading through a city he already knows. Jane is in an old warehouse with Darcy and a man being introduced as 'the intern'. She is surprised to see them but also excited.

'I really didn't want to disturb your vacation but these readings are -', she struggles to find a word fit to express her joy. 'They're exactly what we came here for.', the brunette concludes.

'What is it? Can we stay just a moment? It's still half an hour for lunch, we'll still make it.', Tony asks though he's already on his way inside. Steve shrugs and goes after him.

They enter the big complex and follow Jane through some empty rooms with high ceilings which look like they haven't been used for the past few years. Everywhere boxes are stacked in the corners and half of the windows have been thrown in. When they reach the big hall at the end of the hallway Thor doubts he will see anything interesting in it. Then his eyes find the big car.

It floats in midair and spins around its axis.

Thor stops dead on his tracks when the reality he sees reaches his mind and he realizes what is really in front of his eyes. Loki laughs out loud with mirth and steps closer to the wonder suspended in the air. He reaches out with his hand and touches the truck, making it move.

'This, Tony, is the Convergence. How have you found it, Jane? This is ingenious.', he says, walking around the truck to look at it from all sides.

'We aren't even sure what we have here.' Jane looks down on her devises she had used to find this. 'You know this? Does it happen often on Asgard?'

'On Asgard the Convergence doesn't happen.', Loki says offhand.

'Really?', Thor remembers his teachers talking about this event and had heard Loki's statement a few days ago but he can't fathom why.

Loki rolls his eyes. 'How you ever passed any test in the hall of learning, brother, I will surely never understand. Asgard is protected so that the Convergence would not cause any damage or harm.'

'Protected? How?', Bruce had gotten his glasses and stares at the truck as well.

'That are complicated spells, woven by powerful sorcerers and amplified by the event itself. Alfheim has a similar protection though it is weaker and not as powerful or as impenetrable. Occasionally something does come through but to actually see the event, neither of the realms is suitable.'

'Protected from what? I mean, it's the alignment of the worlds, what does Asgard need protection from?', Tony asks.

'The worlds align and the walls between the nine realms grow thinner. Every now and then, in places just like these, gravity, matter, anything could come through. Or vanish. A lot of people went missing before the spells were cast. And if they weren't able to come back through the veil again, they would stay lost forever. With this alignment, these portals can open up to any place within and sometimes even out of the nine realms.', Loki says.

'So this,', he points at the floating truck which now is upside down, 'practically can happen anywhere and at anytime without us being able to change something about it?'

'Yes. It will stop eventually in a few days when the Convergence is complete. Normally everything should then be as it was before. And the chance that this stuff happens in inhabited places is almost non-existent. I was prepared to drag you out into the desert or to the Antarctic to see the effects of this. It happens so rarely, I do not believe a living soul has seen it with its own eyes. This is a one in a million chance.'

'And what is it good for?'

'Well, I thought it would help you figure out how the Bifrost works. It does technically the same thing just it creates the bridge by making the space between the realms thinner instead of using the thin veil.' Loki shrugs.

'That was my idea. Maybe,', Jane starts to search through her pockets, pulling an electric devise out of her bag, 'we can use these reading to create a devise to reach the other realms. Here, we can use these to detect any of the energies set free. That's how we found the place. I tried to find the hidden passages, not to use them! Just to know where they are and suddenly they were, from one day to the next, going crazy and were flooding us with data.', she explains.

Loki nods. 'Do you think there is more?', Tony asks, eager to explore more. Thor can feel the low thrum of energies from other realms and wonders how this must feel for his magic-sensitive husband.

'This is a place where the veil to the other worlds is thin. I do not doubt that we will find other phenomena if we just keep looking.'

Jane gives one of her beeping devises to Stark who immediately checks something. All thoughts of lunch had left the group and seeing how eager half of their group is to explore this area further, the rest accepts their choice and continue to stare blankly at the floating truck. There proof to be more sensitive areas, a staircase which swallows shoes and bottles, and some other strange phenomena the group finds.

The sirens sound outside. They had explored longer than had been planned, it must already be afternoon. The group heads down to where the scientists had stayed. 'What is that?', Thor asks with a frown. The sound is strange and too loud for his liking.

'Oh no, not now.', Jane groans. 'It's the police and they will lock this place down. Damn! We had a stable gravitation anomaly.'

'Shall I?', Stark offers.

'No. When they see you they will call SHIELD. Or the press. Not sure which is worse. I'll try to handle it. Darcy?' The two women go and leave the team to continue exploring the house while they still can. Loki explains some aspects of the Convergence to their friends, Thor is only listening with one ear, watching the truck still floating through the air. Suddenly the wind picks up and he turns to Loki to ask what this is about.

The last thing Thor sees is Loki's confused face, then the white light blinds him.

xXxXxXx

 **Hi guys!**

 **Who wants to guess which infinity stone will come into the possession of our heroes as the first (apart from the Tesseract that is)? ;)**

 **Just generally, some of the sentences are 'quotes' from Thor: The Dark World and I don't really own them. So, that's that. Probably the rest of the movie won't be used by me (for now). See you next week!**


	44. Chapter 42 The Citadel Of Silence

The Citadel Of Silence

 _The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..  
John Milton, Paradise Lost _

Something is wrong. This much Loki had already figured out when the wind tousled his hair though that had been impossible because they were inside. A lot of windows are broken in the old building but certainly not enough to allow this much wind to pass through the building. And the air that ruffles his clothes doesn't smell at all like the London air he had breathed in for the past day. It smells fresh and ancient at once, like something forgotten but untouched. The magic weighs the air down but Loki can't detect the source of it.

Briefly he closes his eyes to shield them from the wind and the small sand it carries. His baser instincts tell him to run, to flee and to not ever come back. A glance to Thor confirms what Loki already knew: he is alone with that kind of thinking. But can it really be possible that his brother doesn't feel the danger right ahead? That the hairs on his arms don't stand up? That he doesn't hear the warning echoing in the air itself?

Loki turns back to the truck, trying to distract himself. Thor's warrior instincts would warn him if truly something would be amiss. He is just anxious. He had waited for this event but now that it is there, Loki can't help but feel threatened because he is powerless against it. Tony wants to know about the portal and Loki is happy to oblige if only to not think about the danger he feels is lurking ahead. He keeps everyone from touching the event and takes some steps back as well, then nothing should happen. The sirens of the police call everyone back into the room, Jane leaves to talk to them.

The wind picks up again.

He knows it would happen a moment before it does. Cold seeps through the thin veil, the icy air is wiping their hair back. Loki has enough time to turn around to Thor, taking one last look at him, not enough to warn him or do anything about it. Thor looks confused and worried and handsome as ever. The remnants of a smile are still on his lips. Loki wants to reach out but an all too familiar suction is pulling him away.

The darkness engulfs him for a moment before he falls. He can't see anything. For a frightful second he thinks of Thanos but then he hits the ground. The impact forces all air from his lungs and he needs a few seconds to find out how to open his eyes again.

Loki lies on his side at the end of a cliff. At least that's what he assumes given the abyss right in front of his eyes. The brilliant gleaming red sky is nothing he had ever seen before but it still manages to calm his heart beat. He is not in the Sanctuary and there is no Thanos nearby, Loki tells himself. This is not Midgard, that much is sure. Where is he? Why is he here? Briefly he closes his eyes again, concentrating on his breath before he can freak out again. The air is breathable for him which narrows down the possible places where he could be. The sky isn't red because of of a sunset or sunrise, the color is simply a bloody red as the sky Loki knows is blue. There are no clouds and no sun as far as he sees, nor are there stars shining through the crimson ceiling.

He flinches violently when a coughing reaches his ears. Loki sits up, ignoring the stabbing pain in his side and back. Behind him the rest of his team lie in various states on the ground. He sighs in relief and feels guilty immediately for being glad to not be alone here. Some of them move while others, like Tony, seem to be out cold.

It is painful to rise to his legs but somehow Loki manages. He stumbles over to his unmoving husband who is nearest, relieved to find he is still breathing and already stirring. 'Thor.', he whispers, his voice hoarse from he knows not what. How long had they been traveling here? How long unconscious? The blond slowly opens his eyes, blinking owlish at him with a smile ghosting around the corner of his mouth. Loki can't help but return that smile.

'What happened?', Thor asks. He sounds sleepy.

'I don't know. I'll take a look at the others, okay?' Thor nod, stretching with a pained groan.

Loki raises and walks towards the others, lying further down the yellow road. Steve is bend over the still unconscious Tony, Bruce takes care of Natasha. Clint sits at the side, holding his head but seeming otherwise unhurt.

'You alright?'

'Just a little headache.', he waves off. Loki nods and heads towards Natasha. She comes around quickly. Still he checks her with his seidr to make sure she hasn't sustained any damage from whatever happened. Fortunately both, Natasha and Clint, don't seem to be any worse than Thor or himself. The muscles hurt as well as the head, though apart from some bruises the body is unharmed. After moving around some the stiffness of Loki's muscles is gone already. Loki keeps his eyes on Bruce. This experience is stressful but he really can't have a freak-out right now. Bruce looks calm enough and there isn't even a glimmer of green in his eyes, still he doesn't quite trust the peace, not knowing if it will last or if it's the quiet before the storm.

Tony sits up by now as well, disorientated like the rest of the team. They look up into the red sky and try to deduce what happened. Thor had stood up as well and comes over now to the rest of the group.

'Is everyone alright?', Loki asks into the group, looking at everyone. They seem alright given the circumstances. Most of them nod or give other signs of agreement. Barton only shrugs noncommittally.

'I've been better.', Tony says, rubbing his neck and looking around. 'What happened? And where are we anyway?'

Loki laughs mirthlessly. 'What happened is what I have been warning about. This is probably the work of the Convergence. We got sucked through a thin wall between the worlds. As to where we are,', he sighs, 'I have to admit I have no idea.'

'No idea? We're stuck in nowhere and even the Norse deities have no idea where we are. Fuck.', Tony curses. 'This is just great. And how are we supposed to get back? Just wait here?'

'Tony, you don't understand, I think. Thor and I have been visiting all the nine realms. This here is no place any of us has ever seen.' Loki turns to Thor who nods after looking around as well. There is nothing more than a yellow road ending where they stand. The other end is beyond his vision. The red sky worries not only him.

'We're out of our universe?', Natasha asks.

'I don't know. Norns, I don't even know how exactly we got here.' The Convergence isn't supposed to bring them out of the nine realms or any place like this.

'At least it's not raining.', Tony says sarcastically, noticing Loki's glance towards the sky as well. He crosses his arms. 'So what do we do? Wait here?', he repeats his earlier question.

'I don't think that will do anything. On Midgard I could feel the thinning walls, here..', Loki breaks off. He sighs.

'We're stuck. Great. Perfect.' The brunet man groans.

Loki takes a deep breath. 'It would seem so.' The walls aren't even palpable here, the Convergence must have moved on, the connection is lost, at least for now. Loki has his doubts that this particular fact will change anytime soon. Their universe is big enough as it is, to connect somewhere else to this tiny spot, the chances are practically nonexistent.

'What now?', Barton asks with a frown.

'I suggest we find out where this road goes. Maybe that will give you a hint as to where we are.', Steve says.

'Staying here would do nothing good.', Loki agrees with a sigh.

They start walking in the direction the road dictates, the yellow street doesn't change. The sky doesn't change. If this leads anywhere, none of them knows, neither how long they will need. Well, they'd find out soon enough how far they would have to walk. The sky doesn't change nor does it give any indication of how far they have walked already but it can't have been longer than a few minutes. More than a few hundred meters they can't see, it is as if something would veil their gaze.

'Wait, can't you, like, teleport us back to Midgard. Or anywhere else?', Thor asks, taking his hand as they walk.

'Unfortunately I can't. I need to know where I am or at least a trace home that I can follow.' He sighs. 'And something is wrong about this place. I don't feel my magic like I do usually. It doesn't feel like we're still in our universe, I know the magic profile of every world. This is nothing I have experienced before.', Loki admits.

A few minutes later they reach a platform, the street widens and before them a wide place opens up to reveal houses, strange buildings stringed together to a big city with wide streets, sky scrapers unlike the ones standing in New York but towering the place nonetheless, they are made out of geometrical forms, arcs, triangles, circles, not like anything any of them had ever seen before. On the streets strange things stand tall and proud, like street lamps, slim where they touch the ground and going up as a pole but with wide ends like big plates placed on top of them. It doesn't look like this is a place made out of inconvenience, this is art but what patterns it follows no one knows. Despite the crimson sky and the yellow street, the buildings are all a dull gray, the only thing making them special being the irregular shapes they are made of. A wall frames the outer side of the platform they stand on, it consists of strange curves, the border is straight but what reason the general shape has, Loki can't tell.

The Avengers stop to take a closer look at the wonder in front of them. It is as if a veil had been lifted and they were finally able to see where they are. Awe settles over the group. The view is breathtaking although somewhat suffocating. For a second Loki can't place the nagging feeling in his stomach before he notices it. The whole city is dead silent. Not a single sound reaches their ears, not a rustle of wind, nor one of the other normal sounds that a city usually emits. He can see far down what he assumes is the main street and there is nothing to be seen. The buildings are impressive but no one is out on the streets, they appear to be deserted. The silence is unnatural and unnerving. A city like this shouldn't be this soundless. The others must feel the same as they can't stand calmly but fidget all the time.

But it's not simply the silence.

'Where are we?', Clint asks, breaking the silence.

'Where are the people? Something must have happened here.', Steve deduces. They begin to fill the silence before it becomes too unbearable. Speculations come up as to whether despite the bright red light it could be night for the people here, that they could be hiding or that something must have driven them away.

But Loki doesn't listen to them. All he can do is stare at the scene in front of him. 'Oh, no no no no.', Loki stammers, moving back from the scene in front of him.

'What is it, Loki?' Thor turns to him with worry lacing through his voice.

'Shut up!', he hisses in a hushes voice. 'Be quiet.' Suddenly all the noise is too much for this place and weighs heavier on his ears than the silence.

'What is it?' The others' interest is piqued now as well.

'Sh!', Loki hisses again, looking around to check if the sounds had disturbed anything. 'We shouldn't be here.'

'Yeah, we already figured that one out, Rock of Ages. No need to tell us.'

Loki almost groans in frustration. 'You don't understand! This is no place for the living or the dead. This is no place for anyone!'

Steve frowns. 'So you know where we are?'

Loki sighs. 'This is the Citadel of Silence.' The words don't have the effect he had been looking for. Thor merely tilts his head to the side and waits for him to continue. When will Loki ever not be surprised by his lack of knowledge. 'We shouldn't be here.', he repeats, trying to turn back. Then he remembers the abyss waiting at the end of the road and turns back frustrated.

'What is that? The Citadel?', Bruce asks.

'It's..' He looks for the right words to explain the matter to the mortals. 'It's a place between the what-has-been and the never-shall-be. It's a place of myth, I didn't believe it actually exists. But no living soul should ever be here.'

'What happened to the people?', Steve wants to know, always the hero.

'There never were any, Steve. This streets have ever been deserted and nothing should have ever changed that.' Why the Convergence connects this place with the rest of the realms is beyond Loki. He always thought of the Citadel as a theoretical construct and not as a real place.

'Then what is this place for?'

'It is the place between the times and beyond reality. This is happening but at the same time it's not. This is the unchangeable city. It will always exist and never change.', Loki repeats what he read ages ago in the palace library.

'And we can't get away.' Tony groans. 'Typical.'

'This is no place that really exists so I can't help. Maybe, if we are lucky, a wall into our nine realms will get thinner due to the Convergence.', he expresses his useless hope.

'Let me guess, the chance is practically nonexistent.', Tony sums up their situation.

'Something like that.', Loki admits. 'But that's our only chance. Here is nothing and certainly we can't stay here.'

Clint huffs. 'We might not have a say in that.'

'And what now?', Tony asks the group.

'We should go on.', Natasha says. 'It isn't getting any better if we stay here. The sun's going down.' They all look up into the sky which darkens because of no apparent reason. 'Or rather it gets dark.', she corrects herself.

'I don't wanna be outside if we don't have to.', Barton agrees.

None of them feel comfortable without their weapons. Loki glances to Thor, relieved to find that Mjolnir is still attached to his belt. He thanks the Norns for the stubbornness of his husband and that he refuses to leave his hammer anywhere.

Steve looks at Loki, raising an eyebrow. Loki shrugs. 'It won't make any difference.', he says.

Steve nods and turns to the city in front of them, straightening his back and starts to walk down the yellow road. The Avengers follow him and despite Steve radiating confidence their steps are smaller than they usually would be. The silence is interrupted by their steps which echo from the walls surrounding them, making every sound louder than it is.

Loki knows they are alone, still he feels watched and expects something, anything, to happen, someone to show up, to see something else around the next corner then more empty gray buildings.

Natasha had been right, the sky is darkening slowly as if the day comes to an end. The crimson gets bloodier the more time passes. That and the buildings towering them magnify the oppressing feeling of this place. They don't talk as they walk through the streets, anxious if they might stir something, worried that Loki might be wrong.

Loki isn't sure if he is glad he didn't really have friends in his childhood or if not knowing would be preferable at the moment. When he was younger he spend every second he could spare in the library, reading every book that he could. Their teacher had made mentions of some old stories which Loki had instantly wanted to research. While doing this he had found the first mention of the Citadel and that had caught his attention. None who still lives had ever set foot here and no one had wanted to. Ages ago, Odin's father, King Bor, had come here but why, the stories didn't tell. But he locked this away and Loki can't fathom that he did so without a good reason. There had been stories, speculations, about what happened. Loki regrets reading any of them. Not knowing what might be in front of them sounds like Valhalla. At least he wouldn't worry that much. Then again, Loki knows what to expect and that could be vital for the whole group.

They pass a few houses, all of them look strange. They don't look like they were made to live in them nor to even step into them. Arcs crown the buildings, most windows that aren't round nor angular.

The Avengers had agreed to find shelter, not knowing what would happen once it gets dark, still, Steve walks past the first houses, not trusting any of them. Loki is glad they don't stop just yet. Thor had taken his hand to reassure him of his presence.

Steve stops and motions to a smaller house. Natasha and Barton give their okay and they walk towards the construction. Several rooms split the space. They carefully go through one doorway after the next, finding everything that is supposed to be in a real house just without occupants or the private things that would make a home habitable. They feel like they are intruding on something and quickly leave again. The furniture doesn't look like it's made for humans or Asgardians, them being just as confusing as the rest of the structures.

Eventually they settle for a bigger house, the biggest one they had seen so far, it looks a little like the mall Tony dragged them to. There is no real door on the outside. There are five hallways going of into different direction. The big atrium they are standing in now is darkening quickly as the light outside fades.

Loki's stomach starts to growl as they walk around to discover what this place offers but there is nothing. He has a strange feeling about the doors that line the walls, in the other houses there hadn't been any, so they just walk down a corridor and try to find a place to spend the night. The soldier looks for an easy defensible spot. Because the night is coming rapidly now they settle for a bigger alcove. They don't have food nor blankets nor lights but they try to get comfortable.

'What about a fire?', Loki asks the Captain who had taken the lead.

'I don't think that it would be a risk. But we don't have wood. Nor anything to light it.' He frowns.

'Well, that can be helped. I don't think we have to fear any attack.', he says with a sad smile. 'And my magic won't do any other good, I fear.'

Loki takes a hold of one of the random things around them. The cold gray stone of a shattered wall lies heavy in his hand. Quickly he wonders what had caused the damage on the wall before deciding he doesn't want to know. Loki closes his eyes to concentrate, directing his seidr at the stone, making it glow from the inside out. When he is done, he places it on the ground in the middle of the alcove, seconds later the inner fire starts to blaze. There are no real flames nor does it emit any warmth.

'At least we won't have to sit in the dark for who knows how long.' Loki shrugs.

'Thanks.' Steve claps his shoulder. 'This will do us good.'

They gather around the improvised fire. It would hold for a few hours before it extinguishes. Loki had found this particular spell during his last stay on Muspelheim. Now he is glad for the stupid diplomatic mission that had somehow been the start to all this, had send them down this path that led to Thanos and them being trapped in the Citadel of Silence.

Thor flops down next to Loki and puts his arm around his shoulder.

'How will we get home?', Tony asks loudly.

'Why am I supposed to know everything, Stark? I am not the only one with a higher education.' Loki scoffs, crossing his arms.

Thor rubs his back. 'No one said you have to. You know that you are the brain and I am merely the brawn. So of course you know best what to do next. But no expects you to do all the work. We will find a way home. I promise.'

Loki sighs and turns back to his husband. 'Sorry. I just..' Thor nods when he doesn't finish the sentence. Loki feels pressurized into finding single-handedly a solution because he is the only magic user, the only one who might have experience with this kind of situations. And he can't think of a single thing to get them back.

Outside of the fire shine is only black darkness. It's unnerving. Apparently there aren't any stars out there whose light could fall into the building through its windows.

'Can you make more of these things?', Barton asks after a while.

'You mean to carry?'

He shrugs. 'Who knows how long this night will last and light would certainly make me feel a little bit more comfortable.'

Loki nods. 'Just find me something, maybe like a torch. It doesn't need to be wood though that would be great.' Even Muspelheim's fire magic prefers wood to be burned. These spells aren't as tiring or complicated as making stone emit light and other nonburnable materials glow.

Clint and Natasha find him some longish sticks made of the same stone as the walls. There doesn't seem to be a shred of wood in this building. Maybe they would find something outside of here though Loki doubts it. They sit down at the improvised fire again so Loki can weave his enchantments. At least it is not cold in this world between the worlds.

'It won't emit warmth, only light. So you won't get burned. I don't know how long it will last but make sure to be back within a few hours. Longer than three it shouldn't burn.', he warns them. Demonstrating Loki hovers his hand over the glowing end of the stone. It's more like a gust of wind than a burst of flame. The lightly green light illuminates the surroundings nonetheless.

'Thanks.', Clint says when taking the improvised torch. 'Maybe we'll find something to eat.' He sounds hopeful. Loki can't begrudge him that. They didn't have anything to eat since breakfast. Until now only his stomach grumbles just like everyone else's. He knows that the hunger will be their least problem if they don't find water soon. Right now it's still bearable but in the morning the thirst would wake with them.

Tony and Steve look around their little corner to find a place to sleep. Thor and him won't really bother. They've slept on the ground before though usually with a blanket to cover them but as far as Loki can judge it, it isn't really cold here and he doubts it will get any colder since there had been no sun before to warm this place. For his friends he still wishes that Barton and Romanov find not only food and water but also something to sleep on, or even a better sleeping place. Clint is right, they don't know how long the night will last and they don't know how long they will have to stay here.

'At least we won't freeze.', Tony notes dryly when there doesn't seem to be any softer spot on the ground.

'We're still alive.', Steve reminds him. This also could have ended quite differently.

'Great, Captain Optimistic. Just how long, that's the real question.', Tony grumbles.

'Tony..'

'We don't have water, we're stuck here. We don't know what lurks around the next corner. What am I supposed to be happy about in a situation like this?' They continue their bicker but Loki stops listening. He knows that Tony's right.

Natasha comes back. She had taken her search down the side of the corridor from where they came. 'The other hallways don't look any different. There aren't any better shelters either. No water, no food, no shelter or other useful things but I didn't venture into any of the rooms. I think we should do that together and with more light.', she tells them.

Steve nods. 'Well done. We'll do that tomorrow.' He is a soldier, he also tries to keep them all alive and knows what they really need first.

Loki nods though he is sure that searching further won't bring up any knowledge that they don't have already. There is nothing that's alive here, and certainly no water. Their only real chance would be if the Convergence opens up the portal again and he somehow has the feeling that's not going to happen.

Thor notices the greenish shine first that announces Clint's return. It can't have been long since he went away though time passes strangely here.

'Have you found-?', Steve stops in the middle of his question when he sees Clint in the light of the fire. His blond hair is singed at the end and the remnants of his jacket smolders but it is blackened from fire as well. Had the torch malfunctioned, Loki wonders and feels instantly guilty. The mortal shouldn't have went in the first place, Loki knows at least how to control his own magic.

'Are you hurt?', Natasha asks worried when Barton makes no move to say something. He looks quite absent minded and a little bit shocked.

Clint shakes his head and sits down next to the fire, shrugging off the jacket and dropping the fading torch to the ground. If he realizes where he is, they cannot tell. At least he doesn't seem to lie when he claims to not be hurt. His skin is covered in soot but seems unhurt otherwise. Finally he opens his mouth to say dryly: 'Don't ask. You really don't want to know.'

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **I really hope that this site isn't malfunctioning again and this time someone will actually read my update. But well, even if not, I have come too far to back down now. Reviews are welcome. Thanks for sticking with me so far.**

 **Anyway, I said I'd tell you when something isn't from my own imagination. The Citadel of Silence is from Avengers Annual #1, 1964 (?). It's merely the setting I copied because I loved the name and wanted to write something about that place ever since I first read the name. In the comics this place is just mentioned one time as far as I know, I plan to fill it out with some life. So the story from now on is mine as far as I know. :)**


	45. Chapter 43 Plans

Plans

 _Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?  
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching _

'What happened, Clint?', Steve asks after some minutes of silence. Barton still sits next to the fire and stares ahead, not reacting to anything. He still looks distressed but the consternation has left his face. Now he slowly turns his head to Steve as if realizing for the first time where he is, then he screws his eyes shut as if to banish the remains of a bad dream.

The archer shakes his head. 'I really have no idea.'

'Did the torch get out of control?', Loki asks, worry laced through his voice.

Clint frowns before he apparently realizes the state of himself. The ends of his blond hair are black and it certainly is shorter than it had been a few hours ago. 'No, this wasn't the torch.'

'Then what was it?' Slowly Loki gets really worried. Where else he could have found fire or something to burn himself, he can not fathom.

Clint shakes his head. 'No idea. It was.. I don't know. Not even sure what happened.' He runs his hands over his face. 'I just went further down the corridor and I thought I heard something. I thought maybe there'd be someone or at least some water. From what Loki told us, there was no reason to wait for you as that would be impossible anyway so I decided to check and stay hidden if possible. I opened that door and – boom. There was a blazing wind and strange creatures.' He frowns. 'It was hot and dry, scorching. These creatures tried to attack me. And then there was that fire and then, I don't know, I stumbled out of the door again. Then I came here again.' He looks up from the flames of their fire. 'What was that?', he asks Loki.

'I don't know.', he admits. 'How did they look like?' Loki dreads the answer he can already guess.

'They were tall, at least ten feet. They had red skin and black eyes, otherwise they looked similar to your other form. Why didn't they follow me? They created fire from their finger tips, why would a wooden door stop them?'

Loki concentrates and shifts his body. 'Like this?'

Clint stares at the fire giant in front of him and nods. Loki sighs and turns back.

'It's strange. This isn't supposed to happen. This place, behind these doors, there should be the past or the future that will never happen. But it isn't real. It would seem real, as if one stepped into it but this,', he points at Clint, 'this isn't supposed to happen. You might have imagined the fire giants and Muspelheim and the heat. But your hair is really singed, we can all see that. That wasn't just a vision.'

'Why would we have visions?', Tony interrupts him.

'It's this place. That's what our ancestors used it for. It's supposed to be realistic but not real. This is no place at all so it's not real. It's.. complicated.' Loki looks for the best explanation. 'Bor used this place to understand the matters of time, he wrote some of it down, of what he had seen, what he had experienced but it got lost over the time. It was no knowledge anyone should possess. When you enter it is like you enter the past. You can change the vision, though not the event itself. You're part of the past you see and of the future you visit just once. You can imagine you get hurt, to be even killed, but this place doesn't have the power to do so in our reality. It's not meant to. But with Clint here, I have no doubt that something must be really off.', he finishes.

'We're here. That's what's off.', Tony says, rolling his eyes.

'That's not it.' Loki frowns. 'Others were here before as well.'

'Maybe we should check out another door.', Tony suggests with a shrug.

'Without me.', Clint says immediately.

'Are you insane, Tony? We could die, you see what happened to Barton!'

Tony huffs. 'It's the past, right? Not everything can be bad.'

'And how do you want to know if it's bad or not without falling right into it?' Loki crosses his arms.

'Peek in?', he suggests sarcastically. 'Furthermore it won't matter by tomorrow evening when we're dehydrated. You and Thor may hold on a little while longer but I doubt even you can survive on mere air and love.'

Loki has to admit the validity of the argument. It won't matter how bad the worlds behind the doors are. He feels the dryness in his own mouth, the furry feeling and the beginning headache. That doesn't hinder his fury from taking the better of him. Still there must be another way. 'Well, I didn't bring you here, Stark. We're stuck here as well in case you didn't notice.', he hisses at the brunet man.

'Yeah, well, you brought us to London and were hunting this shit.' Tony glares at the ravenette. 'That's what brought us into this Citadel of Misery.'

'So this is all my fault?' Loki uncrosses his arms and flexes his hands.

Before Tony has the chance to say something he can't take back, they are interrupted.

'Boys!' They stop glaring at each other and back off. 'We should all sleep. It has been a long day. I'll take over the first watch.', Natasha offers, trying to get the tension out of the group. He can tell that Tony doesn't mean what he almost said and it wouldn't matter to Loki if he himself wouldn't feel like this is all his fault. The other Avengers hadn't wanted to investigate the Convergence and now they're stuck here because of Loki. Of course Tony had wanted to find out about the workings of the Bifrost by examine the effects of the thinning veils and collect data to figure out a theory to travel to other worlds. Still Loki feels none of this would have happened without him.

Grumbling the group falls apart and they draw back into their respective corners to find a place where the stone might not be as hard as everywhere else. Loki takes Thor's hand. 'I'll stay with Natasha. It might not be necessary but we should not be alone.'

Thor nods. 'Wake me in a few hours, then I'll take over.'

'Okay. Sleep well, love.', he says.

'Good night.' Thor kisses him before lying down next to the fire to keep warm. Loki walks over to where Natasha had taken her place with her back on the fire, looking out into the dark corridor.

'You can go to sleep. I got this.', Loki tells her as soon as he sits down next to her. The dark corridor isn't illuminated beyond the edge of the light beam. The debris littering the floor doesn't make this any better.

Natasha shakes her head. 'It's alright. You can go to sleep as well. I don't think this is overly dangerous.'

'Still', Loki says. 'I wouldn't sleep anyway. This place feels wrong.'

'No one's blaming you, you know? It's no one's fault.', Natasha tells him in a hushed voice to not disturb the others.

He sighs. 'Thank you.'

To his surprise Bruce is the first one to fall asleep. He had been the only one bearing this situation without complaining or even wondering how this happened. He hadn't even taken part of their conversation of what to do, just like Natasha though she is merely observing everything to find a solution or something to help them survive and isn't ignoring them. She would most certainly say something should she think the group takes the wrong direction. With Bruce Loki isn't sure if he would without being forced to do so.

The rest of the watch they spend in silence. Somewhen Natasha goes to sleep. Loki doesn't wake Thor. The fire burns down but Loki lets it when he notices that the light coming from the end of the corridor changes. At least the nights don't last longer than on Midgard, Loki thinks not without sarcasm.

'You should have woken me.' Thor sits down next to Loki when he wakes. 'Have you been here the whole night?' Loki shrugs noncommittally when Thor puts his arms around his shoulders. 'You also need your strength, brother.', he says.

He doesn't answer but stares straight ahead at one of the doors, wondering what might be behind it.

'Don't worry. We will find a way out of here. I promise.' Thor leans in and kisses his temple. 'We came here so there is a way out of here.'

'The Convergence will be over soon, and then there won't be a portal that will magically open up. And actually this portal shouldn't have opened up either. This is no part of the nine realms.'

'But Bor came here as well, you said so.', the blond reminds him.

'With the help of a dozen sorcerers. Heimdall will have noticed by now that we vanished.', he says to not sound completely hopeless. Loki leans into the embrace and accepts the comfort. 'I don't know what to do.', he admits quietly.

'No one expects you to. We will find a way together. You should rest a little while, we need you later.'

Loki draws a shuddering breath. 'Okay.'

He knows he won't sleep, too many thoughts fight in his head for dominance, but somehow Loki still drifts off into an uneasy sleep. It can't have been long though because when he opens his eyes again, the light hasn't really changed.

'We need to figure out what to do.' Steve naturally takes the lead when they are all awake and the strange light brightens the corridor.

'Sitting around here will get us nowhere.', Tony agrees.

'How did you get to Muspelheim?', Loki asks Clint.

'I am not sure. I opened the door and then,' He shrugs, 'I was there.'

Loki curses silently. 'So no peering in?', he asks for confirmation.

Clint sighs. 'I don't know.'

'Which door did you use?', Steve asks.

They don't have any luggage so they rise and walk further down the corridor without much of a preamble. The gray walls don't change and though the doors look different, they are similar enough to create the feeling that they haven't been moving at all. Clint looks unsure which door he had opened.

Finally he stops in front of with round carving around the edges. 'This.'

'Are you sure?', Loki asks.

'Yes, of course I am. I was set on fire. That tends to leave a lasting impression.'

'Okay.' Loki bends down to pick up a stick of the strange stone and marks the floor with it. The cross is clearly visible. 'Just in case we come back here from one of the other doors and forget where we already were.'

'Good idea.', Natasha agrees.

'Any suggestions to which we want to try next?', Steve asks everybody around when the silence stretches a bit. They looks from one side to the next, seeing the hundreds and thousands of doors stretching to both sides of the corridor and the others don't look different according to Natasha.

'I don't think it matters really. There is no difference in them, none that I can see.' Tony looks to Loki but he shakes his head. He can neither feel any difference nor can he see any. Actually the doors just feel like doors and not like portals to other times and places.

'Then let's just take the next one.', Bruce suggests. The group shuffles to the door further down the corridor. The end of hallway is already in sight.

The brown door looks inconspicuous enough. The group gets nervous just standing in front of it and they hover around it, uncertain what to do and to expect.

'I'll open it.', Loki declares when no one says a word. 'It's the only logical choice.', he adds when Thor frowns. 'I have the best chances of survival should I end up on the other side alone. My shape-shifting and magic are better companions than Mjolnir.'

'I don't like this nonetheless.', Thor says.

'Neither do I. Still it needs to be done.', Loki reasons, looking straight at the door and taking a step towards it. Even from this distance it doesn't feel any different from any other door. Maybe nothing will happen at all apart from me opening a door to an empty dusty room, Loki thinks with hope. 'Keep your distance.', he warns his friends.

'I don't think that's a good idea, love. What if you end up alone in there?' Thor steps closer, almost touching his shoulder.

'We're all in this together. No solo missions anymore.' Clint steps next to Thor so they can all peer into the room when the door opens.

Loki stretches out his hand towards the handle, hesitating only a short moment. Before he realizes fully what happened, he stands in the middle of a forest. The warm summer sun peaks through the dense foliage. The small clearing is lined with oaks and beeches which are old and strong. Loki has never seen the like in his life. The greenish light is comforting despite the tension in the air.

'Where are we?'

'Alfheim.', Thor answers without missing a beat. He recognizes the specific magical hum of the air, they had both visited this realm often enough to know it by heart without further information.

'Is there a chance that there is a river or a creek nearby?', Tony asks, looking around in wonderment. They are all too dried out to care for much else. They aren't in immediate danger and aren't under attack or burning, in Clint's case, so the search for water has priority.

'I am not sure where exactly we are, but there has to be some water close by.' And sure enough when everyone is silent they hear the distant rush of water.

The creek isn't big, the water too cold and quite sandy here but none of them cares. Greedily everyone slurps the water which tastes better than anything had ever before. The slight headache Loki already had from the dehydration doesn't go away immediately but it will, soon.

They rest for a few minutes in silence. The birds sing for them. It is a warm summer day, a slight breeze rustles in the tree crowns*.

'Soo.', Tony drawls.'Where exactly are we? Nothing's tried to kill us yet, water's good, sun is shining. I like it so far.' He grins when he leans back on his elbows. They have all settled down on the grass near the river bench.

'Alfheim.', Thor tells him. 'The Elves call it Eldamar. We should be relatively safe here. But where exactly we are I don't know.'

'Maybe we should search for some of the natives. You know, otherwise we will have to stay here at this creek and try to find some food by ourselves.', Steve says. 'And I am not sure what is edible in this world.'

'That wouldn't be a problem here. Alfheim is a rich country, there are a lot of edible plants. Maybe we could even hunt some smaller animals.', Loki agrees. 'We don't know how they are here. There have been times when the Elves were at war with other realms.' He shrugs. 'But I think we could risk it. We just shouldn't look for them, I can shape shift and do magic, you can't even talk to them.'

The others agree that it would be unwise to seek out trouble. 'Maybe we should get moving?', Thor suggests. This place isn't easily defensible, of course he feels uncomfortable.

'How did you get out of the other world again?', Loki asks Clint. He had thought earlier about it but it hadn't really mattered. The group would have went anyway, no matter what the consequences may be. Being faced with certain death because of dehydration and possible death because of whatever they would find behind the doors, there was no real choice.

'I don't know, man. I remember being hunted by these things and them throwing fire balls after me. My jacket was on fire and then, well, I was back. That's all I know.'

'Well, let's hope that it takes us no near death experience to get away from here again.', Loki mutters.

'Oh, we don't have to hurry with that.', Tony says with a smile, looking around. The birds don't care about them and give them a private performance of their talents. The trees have grown straight up to the sky, hiding through their heights their occupants effectively from the observers. The scene is peaceful but something is strange about this place though Loki can't put his finger on it. They decide to follow the creek and it's rocky bank because no one has any better ideas. Despite Loki and Thor having visited this realm before and having learned about it in the halls of learning, none of them knows this part of Alfheim.

They must be somewhere in the south west, Loki figures because of the climate and the nature surrounding them. Some of these trees don't grow anywhere else in the nine realms.

There is a scream close to them, alarming the team. Because of the trees it is almost impossible to make out form which direction the sound came but Steve is already rushing to their right. They reach a small clearing. Two Elves are at the other side of it, a ladder leans on the tree, one of them is on the ground, the other female crouching over her friend.

The females hadn't noticed them yet, Steve had stopped their group behind the last tree so they would be out of sight. It is apparent that the female on the ground must have fallen from the ladder while collecting the bright red fruits hanging on its boughs. They already have three baskets full of those fruits. They are neither warriors, they are just two Elves in need of a little help. And this might just prove to be a great possibility for their group.

'Dr. Banner. I believe she would be in need of your assistance.', Loki says after some moments.

'I..' With a frown he looks at Loki. 'I can't. I have never seen one of these Elves before. I wouldn't know what to do.'

'Elven physiology is much the same as is humans. I can't do much, I am not trained to heal their wounds, their magic is much stronger and interferes with mine. And they are in need of your help. Her ankle is sprained. Maybe broken. If you help them, they might help and trust us.', Loki explains. 'And they are less likely to kill us if you are of help.', he adds on an afterthought.

'I could at least take a look.', Bruce agrees not without hesitation. He is wary, especially since they know next to nothing about these people. Loki nods and steps out into the sunlight illuminating the clearing.

'Hello, can we help you?', he calls over to the Elves.

The blonde female who is crouching over the injured elf is suddenly smiling at them, a look of relief on her face. 'That would be nice. My friend Alaniel is hurt, our village isn't too far away.'

'My companion is a healer, maybe he could take a look at her.', Loki suggests with a soft smile as they get closer. The rest had left the cover of the forest now as well, Bruce sneaks behind him.

She nods. 'Thank you.' She stands up and helps the other red haired elf to lean against the trunk of the next tree.

Loki waits for Bruce to step forward, then he remembers that the dear doctor probably speaks no word elvish. 'If you will. They don't seem to mind.' Bruce nods solemnly despite Loki's jab and walks towards Alaniel. He smiles shyly when she thanks him.

'We have to thank you. My name is Siana.', the blonde elf comes closer to Loki to not stand in Bruce's way.

'We heard her, we couldn't just ignore it now, could we?' Loki smiles. The elf is a little taller than him, he notices now. 'My name is Ikol, this is Bruce. And our little group.', he points towards where the others hover now closer. He hears Thor translate for them. 'I fear they don't speak your language.', Loki adds when he notices Siana's stare.

'You're not from around here.', she states more than she asks. Loki merely shakes his head when he sees her smile. He tells her a half-true story about them being travelers from three realms, given that she already had seemed to guess his true origin. Bruce gives him a thumbs up to tell him it's not broken. The brown haired man gives the elf some instructions to not sprain the ankle further which Loki translates. 'Would it be asked too much for you to help us back to our village? The deer will eat our harvest before we make it back on our own.', Siana explains.

Loki takes a quick look to his friends. Thor nods. The elves seem harmless enough and haven't made a move to harm them despite their knowledge of their origin.

Steve, Thor and Loki carry each one of the baskets while Bruce and Siana assist the injured female. The village really isn't far away but it still takes them about an hour until they reach it. The blonde asks them a lot of questions to get to know them and they tell her as much as they dare though they stay under cover. There might be a big chance that neither Siana nor Alaniel have never seen Thor or Loki but there is indeed a chance that they might have heard their names.

'What is this place called?', Loki asks Siana when they reach the village just like he had seen many others on Alfheim. The small huts are placed between some big oaken trees, some with a small fenced in garden, but none of the houses has a second story. They are made out of stone and wood and perfectly fit into the forest.

'Celeth-luin.', she tells him smiling. 'My house is just over there. I have to thank you, Bruce, for your help. If you have no other place to stay, I would like to invite you and your friends to stay at my place for tonight at least.', she offers after they had handed the baskets to someone responsible. Thor translates for the others again.

'Thank you, Siana. That is not necessary though.', Bruce answers, knowing that they were actually planning to stay away from people who could misinterpret their situation. Loki suddenly has the strong urge to leave.

'But I insist.', she says. Bruce nods and she bids them good bye for the time being. Thankfully the two elves hadn't looked directly at Loki for he needs some time to regain control of his features. Something is strange about this place.

Time to find out more about this world, Loki thinks. 'Excuse me for a moment.', he says to his friends without averting his eyes from the female sorceress who just stopped near them alone, eyeing them with interest. All the other elves stand in small groups together. 'Hello. My name is Ikol.'

'Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Elayoe. You're a frost giant right?', she asks immediately, being intrigued as she is. That's why Loki had always loved the Elves, they care little for savoir faire and tact. If they are interested they ask.

Loki thinks about lying but sees no reason for it as she apparently already knows and doesn't seem to mind. 'Yes.' He wonders if they can feel his normal body temperature now more pronounced than when he didn't know about his heritage. Maybe he is projecting it because in his younger life no elf had ever asked for his origin.

'Where do you come from? We don't see here Jotnar very often. Most of the merchants travel to the bigger dwellings and the cities. And especially I haven't seen any Jotun in your make up.'

Loki laughs. 'We're traveling the nine realms and we're not selling anything. I'm merely adapting to the warmth of your climate.'

'The nine realms?', Elayoe asks carefully. 'You mean eight, right?' The elf frowns slightly but smiles indulgently. 'You wouldn't dare travel to Asgard now, would you?', she laughs.

'No, of course not.' Loki keeps his smile firmly on his face. He senses a sensitive theme here but knows that asking would draw unnecessary attention to them. 'What's there to see?', he asks rhetorical, hoping nevertheless for an answer.

'It's just a wasteland and ruins, not really something worth seeing.' She laughs again. 'And possibly even dangerous.' The blonde woman turns to his group. 'Who's the blond? He looks like one them actually.'

'He is my husband and a Vanir.', Loki is fast to inform her.

'I don't feel any magic on him.', she tells him with raised eyebrows.

Loki shrugs. 'Well, he's.. special.' Her eyes fix on the hammer hanging on Thor's hip.

'He sure is. He still gives me the creeps, he looks like Odin when he was younger.' The disgust in her voice is unmistakable.

'Odin?'

She huffs out a laugh. 'I am glad our armies stopped him in time, him and all the Asgardians.' She shakes her head and then smiles again, shoving the dark thoughts from her mind. The elf isn't angry or revengeful, Loki recognizes, she is glad over a banished foe. 'But if you travel, where's your luggage?'

'We got lost and now we're stuck for the time being. My friends and I will be leaving soon to conclude our journey.'

'What are they?' Elayoe points at them like she had never seen their like.

'Midgardians.'

'How did you meet them? I thought they don't travel anywhere but Vanaheim and Nidavellir?' Confusion is audible in her voice.

'They travel with us, we picked them up and befriended them on our stay on Midgard.'

'If you have no place to spend the night, I can offer you my home. There might not be a bed for everyone but it sure is more comfortable than the forest ground.', she offers without hesitation.

'I thank you but Siana already offered and we accepted it.' Loki has the feeling she is trustworthy despite her resentment to Asgard.

'Good.' She smiles and points at a house father into the village. 'If you change your mind, you can come by.'

'Just one more thing.', Loki calls after her. 'What year is this? I mean in your reconnaissance.', he quickly corrects himself when he notices her confused stare. He doesn't need any more distrust from her side though she bought his story about the traveling group for now. 'I always liked Alfheim and I am just curious.'

'Right. You were taught here, weren't you? Your magic feels like ours, if only remotely.' When Loki nods, her smile widens again. 'You should think about moving here permanently. I heard there is a Jotun village further to the east.' She seems to remember his question and tells him before heading of to the market place.

Loki walks back to where his friends waited for him. Bruce hasn't joined them yet, he probably still takes care of his patient. 'We got a bigger problem than I thought. This isn't the future.'

'So it's the past?', Tony asks.

'No, you don't understand. This village was burned down and completely wiped off from the face of this world. As well as this forest. We're further to the west than I thought originally.'

'So? The forest could have regrown.' Tony doesn't see the problem.

Loki shakes his head. 'They still wouldn't have settled here. This is unholy ground for the Elves. And the woods were burned down for a reason. Nothing grows here anymore. But that isn't the problem. We're in the present of this world as far as I can tell. This is not some distant strange future that manifests in front of us.'

Natasha frowns. 'An alternate universe?'

Loki nods. 'And one where Asgard was destroyed as well.'

'Asgard?', Thor asks, his voice almost breaks. A desperate hope that he had misheard shines in his eyes alongside the knowledge that he didn't.

'I am sorry. You're a Vanir like Mother as long as we're here, just to be safe.'

'What happened?', the blond wants to know.

'I'm not sure I want to know. There was a war and Asgard lost but apart from that..' He shrugs. 'It really doesn't matter but I want to get away from here as soon as possible.' Loki shakes his head. 'Let's talk about this later somewhere more private.'

The day comes to an end rather quickly. Siana cooks them dinner together with her sister Alaniel, then prepares beds for them which mostly consist out of blankets and pillows on the floor. When the two elves have withdrawn, the team sits down in the living room to discuss what to do next.

'Thor, do you remember the stories Mother told us about the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim?' Loki asks when he is sure that their host is out of earshot.

'Of course. Born from eternal night the Dark Elves come to steal away the light.', he quotes without hesitation. 'Mother told us these stories when we were kids. What does it have to do with this?'

'They had the Aether which would help them to overcome the universe that is now and replace it with one like the one before light. I have been dwelling on this stories for some time now.' Since the Tesseract was locked up in the weapon's vault, but he doesn't tell them. 'No one knows where Bor banished the Aether to after he obtained it from them.'

'I thought it was destroyed?', Thor interrupts.

'If I am right and I think I am, it cannot be destroyed that easily. There are not many artifacts that are able to create another world and change the universe. It might be liquid but..'

'It's one of the infinity stones?', Tony asks with a frown.

Loki nods. 'That's the only explanation for this world. It's not a future event that brings the elves back here. It's an alternate universe and usually not something that should be here. The stories might say that the Dark Elves created the Aether, but I don't think that. They found it and now we stumbled over it by accident.'

'And what are we supposed to do now? Take it should we find it? Leave it here?', Steve asks. They are all at loss.

'I don't know.'

'I don't think we should meddle in this affair. The Tesseract has brought enough destruction to Earth, we don't need any more of that.', Tony says crossing his arms. 'It's safe here, right?'

'Thanos could still come here and just take it, we can't leave it without protection.', Loki counters.

'Guys, we should..', Steve interrupts their beginning discussion. 'We should sleep over this and discuss this in the morning. I think there will be a lot of time to discuss this matter.', he says with a sigh.

xXxXx

Steve and Tony settle in the other room at the end of the corridor. Alaniel had given them enough blankets to make the floor more comfortable, and had even given them both a pillow. Tony thinks it's really nice of her to take them all in without knowing them. Then again, she is a powerful sorceress and could probably kill them all with a single thought.

They spread the blankets on the dining room floor and lie down soon after that. The soft star light falls into the room, the moon hasn't come up yet or maybe it's new moon, Tony isn't sure. He is too excited about their whole situation to sleep well. Last night he had already lain awake but had refused to stand up. The last evening had been full of tension and Tony didn't want to say anything to Loki and pick another fight.

'What if we'll never get home?', Tony whispers softly into the dark. Steve is also still moving. Though the blond had been in a war and can sleep anywhere, that quite possibly doesn't include other worlds.

Steve sighs and rolls to his side to face him. 'Then we will have to learn to live like this.'

'In worlds we don't understand? I'm not sure I can do that. I just can't wake up and find a different world by tomorrow.', Tony admits before he realizes what he just said. The silence is weighed down by the tension that follows but Tony doesn't know what he could say to take the words back or make the situation any less awkward. 'I-'

'It's okay. You'll get used to it. You'll have to.', Steve answers. With a sigh the blond man turns around to face away from Tony. 'Good night.'

'Good night, Captain.'Tony stares out of the window for a long time.


	46. Chapter 44 Winter Wonderland

Winter Wonderland

 _Day after day, day after day,/We stuck, nor breath nor motion;_  
 _As idle as a painted ship/Upon a painted ocean._  
 _Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner_

The morning light is soft orange, waking Thor gently. He stretches until his shoulders pop loudly. Turning over to his right Thor finds his husband cuddled to his side. He slings his arm around Loki's shoulders and kisses his forehead.

'Loki.', he whispers into the twilight. Someone behind him groans, making Thor almost jump out of bed and summon Mjolnir. A second later he recognizes the tired form of Dr. Banner huddled into a blanket on the floor. Then everything of the past days comes crashing down on him and he has to hold Loki closer to make sure he is still sane.

Loki huffs. 'I guess we will have to get used to this.', he mutters gloomily.

'For a moment I thought..' Thor doesn't need to finish the sentence, knows Loki will understand. He had more experience with waking up in a place he doesn't belong and finally Thor has a hunch how much that must have weighed heavily on him.

'Do you guys have to be so loud? Some of us are trying to sleep.', Banner grumbles into his pillow.

'We have to get up anyway. Neither Thor nor me are safe here and I am not sure what they will do once they find out about our and your origin.', Loki reminds him, stretching himself. Sighing he begins to wiggle out of Thor's embrace.

Bruce sighs. 'I know. But how are we supposed to leave this place?'

'We'll find a way.', Loki says vaguely when he crawls over Thor who occupies the outer side of the improvised bed. Thor sighs and follows Loki. The ravenette walks towards the window and glances out onto Alfheim. 'This is how it would have looked like at the time when we wanted to visit.', he says wistfully.

'So this is our honeymoon visit?', Thor asks, resting his chin on Loki's shoulder. Green and yellow trees are surrounding the village, the window faces the outside of it. On the other side of the window lie a few dozen elves who apparently dislike Asgardians. Thor wants nothing more than to go back home.

His only answer is a mirthless laugh.

Since they have no spare clothes, a quick bath is all they take before slipping into the Midgardian clothes once again. The others are awake soon as well. With no luggage they don't need much time to get ready. Siana prepares a nice breakfast for them to strengthen them for the possibly long walk ahead of them. Thor wishes they would be in the real Alfheim, in their Alfheim, and could stay a little longer. After the meal their friends immediately agree to leave the village behind.

'We have to thank you for your hospitality.', Loki translates for the others. The living room is crammed with all the Avengers and the two elves. 'Unfortunately I believe we have nothing to offer you for it.'

'It was the least I could do for you after helping my sister.' She smiles. 'You still haven't found your luggage, have you?'

'No.', he admits. 'But it doesn't matter. We'll be home soon.' Loki smiles. Is Thor the only one who notices the strain in it? If they could just go home that easily. But there is no home in this universe.

'Wait a moment.' She leaves the room only to come back a few moments later. 'Here.' Siana drags a few smaller baskets into the room.

'What is that?', Loki inquires.

Siana shrugs noncommittally with a smile. 'Some supplies and a blanket and cloak for everyone.', she says, pointing at the three baskets.

Loki takes a deep breath. 'We cannot thank you enough for your kindness, Siana. We will always be in your debt.' He bows slightly in his seat. Thor who stands behind him does the same. The packages she prepared are easy to carry. Loki's pride would usually not allow to take such a gift from someone who herself has not much to live from but he knows that they won't survive outside of this realm or even within without these supplies.

'You're very much welcome.' The same friendly smile is on her face. There is a reason Loki always liked the Elves best. 'Is there anything else you require?'

'You already did so much.' He stands up and kisses her hand.

The other Avengers seem to catch up and realize that the female elf whom they know almost nothing about, who is a stranger to them as they are strangers to her, really is gifting them equipment without wanting anything in return. They thank her though Siana probably doesn't understand a word but she seems to get the idea. The language will soon become a problem, Thor realizes.

They thank both sisters again after shouldering the new luggage and leave the village around midday, being accompanied by Siana, since Alaniel shouldn't walk yet, into the forest for half a mile before saying good bye.

The group walks back towards the creek to fill their water supplies. 'Where to now?', Bruce asks but no one knows an answer. They agree to follow the flow of the water further until they would come up with a better plan.

'Where are you going?', Loki asks, sounding confused when the group takes a route towards the north. Thor hadn't even realized he had been swerving away from the water. 'Aren't we going to follow the river? It seems as good as any other idea.'

'No, we have to go this way.', Tony says as if it is the most natural thing in history and he can't understand why Loki would question it.

'Why?', Loki asks.

Tony seems to ponder over an answer. 'Because we have to.', Thor says instead. Loki frowns at him. 'I can't explain, Loki.'

He still frowns. 'Where do you want to go?'

The whole group points in the same direction. Loki's face is perfectly mirroring his confusion about this silent group decision which he takes no part in. 'There we can get out of here.'

'How do you know?'

'I feel it. It's pulling us to it.', Thor tries to explain the inexplicable feeling of having to go there. Wherever 'there' might be. 'Can't you feel it?'

Loki shakes his head. 'There is nothing.'

'Yes, there is. Isn't it magic?' Apparently not. Why everyone else is feeling this strange thing and the only one who might explain it can't, he cannot understand. This isn't good but the pull isn't evil, that much Thor is sure of. Loki would feel it in that matter.

'I trust you.', Loki shrugs helplessly. He follows them, walking next to Thor. The silence isn't uncomfortable, only broken by the birds and the rushing of the wind above them.

'Do you really not feel it?', Thor asks him quietly. Loki merely shakes his head. Just when Thor starts to doubt the feeling, it happens. There is a sudden white light and suddenly they stand in front of the door through which they had entered the false Alfheim again. The corridor looks unchanged, even the dark cross in front of the next door is still there.

Thor wonders how long they were gone from here and how the time might have passed at home. Does Heimdall already look for them? Will he even find them? If Loki is right, and he is seldom wrong, this place has been vacated by any Asgardian since before his watch began, in the war with the Dark Elves, and with that the keeper doesn't even know where this place is.

'We should rest here. We probably won't be as lucky as we were again.', Steve decides and turns around to find a place to rest for them.

'Lucky?', Thor exclaims. A universe without his homeworld is a lucky world? Who knows what happened? Thor would have liked to find out what it was that brought Asgard's downfalls so he'd be able to prevent it from happening in the future, no matter that Loki claims it to be an alternate universe and not the future.

'Did you see anyone attacking us? We weren't even roasted like Clint.', he declares with a shrug. Grudgingly Thor has to accept the logic. It wasn't the future nor reality, he tells himself.

When they settle down in a corner not too far away from the next door, they unpack the luggage to find out what Siana had really gifted them with. The food will suffice for a few days if they are resourceful but they will have to find new sooner than Thor would like.

It was dark when they arrived back at the Citadel and the light doesn't change yet. Has one day passed? A week?

'What about the Convergence?' Thor and Loki sit a little apart from the others, whispering so no one would overhear them, not that it would matter much. The mortals don't understand Asgardian though just to be sure, Thor leans closer to his brother.

'I am not sure, love. It's probably over already.' Loki sighs, eyeing the others warily to check that none of them listens to them. 'And if it isn't yet, it will be very soon.', he concludes. Their time is running out and there is no way in telling when it will.

'Then we're stuck here.' Thor huffs, resting his back on the wall behind them.

'Except if we would.. find the Aether and use it. There must be a way.'

'I thought you were against it?', Thor inquires.

'I am.', Loki merely states.

'At least we're here together.' Thor tries to brighten their mood a little. 'You should sleep. Three nights in a row should even be too much for you.'

'I had enough rest last night.', Loki waves it off.

'Come on.' Thor slings a blanket around Loki. 'I'll take the first watch.', he declares loudly.

'I don't think that will be necessary, Point Break. I don't see any of the doors opening from the other side and no one other is here to attack us as far as I can see. And, aren't you, like, a warrior? Surely no one could sneak up on the combined powers of Spangles and you.'

With that Tony declares the conversation as over and makes himself more comfortable by sliding down to the floor and drawing the blanket over his head.

'He's right, Thor. We should all get some sleep.', Steve agrees, not reacting to Stark's nicknaming and flops down next to him. 'Who knows what we'll see tomorrow.'

The next morning is depressing, so completely different from the one on Alfheim. The red light weighs down on Thor's frame of mind. They have a light breakfast and some of the water, then they pack together their things in silence. The night had been short after the long march on the day before but Thor just wants to get away from here as soon as possible. The silence is deafening. If he is honest with himself, he misses the clouds most. In this dead place he can't even summon the lightening and though they are not under attack and he probably won't need to, it feels strange not to be able to do it.

The Avengers step in front of the next door in the row further down the corridor after Loki had marked the one with Alfheim and no Asgard with an X to make sure they wouldn't have to go through it again.

'Maybe we should make it look different.', Clint suggests. He shrugs. 'So we know which ones are dangerous and which are maybe helpful. In a few days we might run out of water and supplies again, it would be useful to know a safe place to return to in case we can't find any other water source.'

'Good idea.', Bruce says. 'What about a circle around it?'

They agree and Loki completes the sign. 'But I don't think we should go back there. Who knows what changed or how much time has passed? Maybe it's a time loop or they will remember us and hunt us down. I wouldn't risk it except if we really have to.', Loki warns them.

'We won't stay here for any longer than necessary, Loki.', Natasha reminds him. 'The march from one end to the next was tedious enough and nothing to do just for the fun of it.'

'Anyway. Ready for another adventure?', Stark asks as they all stand close together in front of world three.

They all take one last deep breath before the dark haired mortal opens the door.

xXxXx

'Great.'

Loki's sarcastic exclaim is almost swallowed by the wind that engulfs them and tears at their clothes. The snowy white plain stretches out to every side, being only broken by mountains in the east and a few hills. No other colors litter the white ground, no plant had found its way here, at least none that's visible.

'Is this..?', Barton starts with a shocked expression.

'Jotunheim.', Loki concludes, sounding just as happy as they all look. Thor suppresses a shiver from the cold that already seeps in through his thin clothes. The snow is falling in big flakes to the ground, the wind accelerates them and makes them sting when they come in contact with bare skin. Thor starts to be glad for his beard because the tiny icy stings soon hurt. He draws his hands under the cloak he had donned immediately after realizing the temperature drop like the others, because they already get cold and numb.

'Fuck, that's cold.' Stark shivers from the cold and hides in his cloak but the wind cuts right through it. The past few worlds they had visited since Alfheim had been rather dull and not very big. Usually they had reached the exit within a day or even in less time. The Convergence has certainly passed by by now and won't bring them back if Loki is right in his assumption that the time passes just like it would at home. But the last days had brought good weather to them, it was never really cold even when they had to wander through the hills in a different part of Alfheim, and there had always been enough food and water to live on.

But in this icy desert there will be no help from nice villagers or a forest to hunt and gather in. The cold is getting into Thor's bones. And who knows what the Jotnar will do if they find the Avengers trespassing despite them being in the company of the crown prince? The supplies would probably last for about four days, though they will need more because of the cold. Water will be no problem, Thor thinks, looking at all the snow.

It won't matter though, if they can't keep themselves warm. The mortals already suffer from the cold, Thor feels it as well though he will make it for another half hour or so before breaking down. Only Loki stands tall and merely squints his eyes because of the storm they are being exposed to.

'Maybe we should get over there.' He points at the mountains. 'There could be a cave or anything else where we might take a refuge until the storm is over.', Loki suggests. He looks at his friends, then takes the cloak out of his package and wordlessly hands it to Tony. 'Get wrapped up in your blankets.' His jacket from Midgard he gives to Barton, his blanket goes to Natasha. The red head thanks him with a simple nod.

'What about you?' Tony looks at the cloak with a frown but wrapping it around himself nonetheless.

'Frost Giant. It's.. fresh but not cold. Like a spring day. A little windy but I'll survive.', he notes dryly. 'In which direction lies the exit?', he asks.

'That.' Steve points to the south-east.

'Then we'll first try the mountains. In a cave I can keep you more easily warm. A fire out here would do little for you.', Loki explains. The others wrap in all their clothes to keep warm and then they march to the mountains in silence, none of them feeling like talking through either chattering or gritted teeth. Thor forces his limbs to stop trembling and had handed Dr. Banner his blanket. The mortals are more frail, he reminds himself and though it's cold he can take it. Loki truly doesn't seem to bother and looks perfectly normal, as if he would walk across a field in spring except for the blue hue that creeps over his skin. The walking creates a little warmth but not enough.

When they reach the mountains finally after an eternity, there is no suitable cave but at least they find an overhanging rock. Loki lights a fire for them from some twigs he had gathered in the one of the previous worlds to have a supply for bad times like this. He also uses his stack of wood to supply them with water in the Citadel because apparently bringing stone to emit light is difficult.

'Is everything alright, brother?', Thor asks worried.

The fire is weak compared to the others Loki had made. This isn't just the weather. Their place for the night is protected from the wind and the storm though the floor is also littered with snow and occasionally a flake falls down on the huddled in Avengers. They have their blankets drawn over their heads and sit close together with their backs against the back of the shelter.

Loki sighs. 'I'm fine.' Thor reaches out to touch him but Loki withdraws. 'Don't. I'm freezing.' The blond remembers that Jotnar adjust to the cold by letting their own body temperature drop so they don't lose their body warmth to the environment. In war they can also use this ability to attack others by creating ice or freezing them. Thor pecks him on the lips despite the warning, regretting it almost instantly. Loki's skin feels like ice but he keeps his expression neutral to hide that fact.

The fire brightens everyone's mood as they cuddle in front of it. Slowly everyone stops to tremble. Despite the small fire it spends heat. The night falls rather quickly.

xXxXx

'I'll take the watch.', Loki declares after they had forced some of the food down. He is the only one being able to stand the cold outside of the fiery glow. Without waiting for any confirmation he stands up and walks to the edge of the cliff where they had found shelter. It's no good place but it's the best they found. The mortals had been freezing already and Thor as well had been affected greatly. The fire would hopefully help them through the night but if the storm won't stop by the morning, Loki has no idea how they are supposed to reach the exit alive.

Tony comes over to sit outside of the shine of the fire. Loki keeps staring out into the night to make sure no one and nothing can sneak up on them.

'How far do you think it is?', Loki asks immediately. Sometimes the others claimed for it not to be far to the exit and usually it proved to be right.

'It really bothers you that you don't where we're walking, right?', Tony asks wistfully.

'It would bother you as well. I don't like to depend on others too much.', Loki mutters.

Tony huffs. 'We're your friends.'

'You don't understand it. If we get separated, even if we don't chose to we just might with our luck, I have no way of getting home or finding a way back to the Citadel on my own. How would you feel?', he snaps. These thoughts had been running through his head since day one.

'Just how I feel now. You're keeping us warm. The others protect me. I am lost in a world I don't understand and I don't even have my suit to defend me nor Jarvis to help me. I am just dead weight to all of you.' He clears his throat. 'Why do you think you can't feel this pull?'

'I am not sure.', Loki admits. He had given a lot of thought to this sensitive subject, not wanting to depend on the others as much as he does right now because he can't even feel when they are getting close to the 'end' of the world. He'd be stuck in whichever world he would be separated from his team. 'I guess you feel it subconsciously. None of you is trained in the use of magic. Maybe it's just me.' Loki shrugs, trying to brush it off.

'You're analyzing it too much?' Tony seems really interested.

'Yes, this is the easiest thing in the world and I am overthinking the whole situation. Maybe my seidr interferes with it.' Loki shrugs. 'It's no use to ponder over it. I just don't have to get lost, right?'

'You have the biggest chance of survival on your own. And we wouldn't leave you.', he says.

'Thanks, Stark.'

The brunet man pokes his side. 'Tony.' Loki rolls his eyes but forces out a laugh to get him to go back to the others and let Loki brood alone.

'You should sleep. You'll need your energy.', Loki tells him to speed the process.

'Probably. You shouldn't stay awake alone though. It's far too cold to sleep anyway.' Tony complains, huddling closer in his blanket. Loki knows it makes little sense to point out that he should get back into the light of the fire again.

'You're ridiculous, Stark.'

The Avengers are cuddling in front of the fire, all getting as close as they can. The wind picks up but fortunately it doesn't turn. Just the howling is any indication to it. Loki squints his eyes and curls into a ball to keep warm. The night gets colder. Loki makes sure that the fire doesn't extinguish so his friends won't freeze to death. Somewhen Tony had decided that he was tired enough to sleep or at least that it's a lot warmer when sitting closer to the source of warmth.

In the far distance Loki spots a dark shadow crawling over the plain, fortunately not in their direction. He watches it but can't remember one creature on Jotunheim which looks like the giant beast in front of him. The fire is not visible for it, or it doesn't care for it. Suddenly it stops and raises it's head in their direction, lifting up it's nose to sniff the air. Loki looks up and realizes that the creature must see the shine of their fire. A cloaking spell is already on his lips to distract the four-legged creature when it lowers it's head again and walks on as if nothing happened.

'What is that?', Steve breathes behind him.

Loki doesn't turn from where the beast had left his field of vision. 'I have no idea and I don't think we want to find out.'

'It probably isn't coming back. You should sleep. We need you.', Steve says when sitting down next to him.

Loki looks up to the pale waning moon and nods. Midnight is over already and Steve had offered to take the second watch. He nods and lies down next to him outside of the fire shine so Steve would be able to wake him within a moment and without having to wake the others should the creature or a similar one return.

Loki wakes up when the dawn breaks. Barton had taken over the last watch and they wake the rest of them as the temperatures rise a little. 'We should use all the light we can get.', Barton agrees.

They sit around the remnants of the fire and eat breakfast. The last bread from the elves and some molten water will have to suffice for now.

'I've been thinking about that creature.', Steve starts when they are fully awake again.

'Which creature? Why didn't you wake us?', Thor immediately demands to know.

'It didn't turn our way.', Steve continues as if Thor didn't just interrupt him.

Loki nods. 'I know what you mean. It didn't react to our fire though I do not doubt it saw us. It didn't know fire. Jotnar have fire, at least they did have before it became unnecessary.'

Steve describes the creature to the best of his abilities. 'It didn't look particularly placid.', he concludes.

'The Jotnar would have hunted them down. Especially since neither Thor nor I do know these creatures.', Loki points out.

'Wait.', Thor interrupts him. 'Did that thing have a large tail with scales?' He forms a triangle with his hands. 'And a really big head, too big for its body?'

'Yes?', Loki says slowly, not knowing where the blond could have gotten this information from.

'I've seen it in a book once.' He notices Loki's pointed look. 'It was about various monsters of the nine realms, I read it as a child. There were pictures.', he admits sheepishly. 'However, I asked Laufey about it because I thought that the talons would make a great wedding gift for you, but he said that they have gotten extinct ages ago because they attacked the villages and killed the Jotnar.'

'So this is.. what?', Bruce asks.

'There are no Jotnar, the world is uninhabited.', Steve concludes. 'At least we won't have to worry about people who ask too many question.'

'On the other hand there is no one here who would help us.', Loki adds. Their provisions are anything but sufficient. And even if they would be able to survive on their supplies, who could say how the next world looks like? Or the one after that? Here they wouldn't be able to stock up on anything but water.

'What do you think happened?', Bruce asks.

'It could have been anything, really. A natural catastrophe could have killed the Jotnar, or they didn't evolve on this world at all. Maybe it's colder than in our universe or they managed to leave Jotunheim in time. Without any conscious mind it's difficult to even say if this is the future or the past.'

'I don't think it matters really.', Steve says. 'We don't know how far we will have to walk through this desert. So we should get moving.' He stands up, settling the matter. The others follow suit and they leave the mountains. The harsh wind engulfs them within seconds as they leave their wind-protected corner.

They soon leave the mountains again and head into the direction the others indicate. The day is warmer than the last night and the storm isn't as vicious anymore, still the mortals need more breaks. Their clothes aren't meant for this cold and the temperatures soon take their toll on them. In the late afternoon the wind picks up again, the snowfall increases as well, making it impossible to see further than a few yards even for Loki.

The storm gets worse with every minute. 'I don't think there is any hiding out here!', Thor shouts to be heard over the wind.

The others agree. Loki doesn't succeed in lighting a fire even with magic, the weather is too bad. He curses and though the others probably don't understand, they can guess the meaning. Especially the unenhanced Midgardians have a blue complexion and seem close to a complete collapse. Taking Thor's hand to draw whatever magic resources the blond has, Loki finally manages a really small, windswept fire. The warmth is almost lost in the storm.

The Avengers sit close enough to get burned by it but none of them cares.

'Can't you do something more?', Tony forces out through gritted teeth. He looks bad, even this close to the fire he won't last pretty long.

Loki sighs and shakes his head. 'I am a Jotun and no fire giant. There is only so much I can do with fire.' Especially in this cold, he thinks bitterly. But there is nothing more they can do in this weather with the wind coming from all sides. They had sit down in a small depression, making the wind sweep rather over their heads than hitting them directly, but it does little to change the temperatures. At least not even that beast from last night would be out with such a storm raging on.

* * *

 **Thank you for your support, for all the favorites, follows and reviews, for simply reading! Have a wonderful week!**


	47. Chapter 45 Skin

Skin  
 _  
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.  
Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest_

Thor wakes up because the cold becomes unbearable. The fire must have extinguished. He rubs his eyes. The circle around his sleeping place and the other Avengers is free of additional snow. Thor breathes on his hands to get some warmth back into them. The rest of the team is already up and about to warm themselves with movements. The rest of the landscape is vanished from sight, buried under a thick crust of new ice and snow. There is no indication of the mountains they had left last morning nor of any stone or other thing that would grant them orientation.

'Loki really is no fire giant.', Stark complains loudly. 'Where is he anyway?'

Thor turns around, knowing that Loki had lain next to him on the opposite side of the fire. There is nothing but white in that direction. The morning slowly dawns, casting a bright red gleam over the cold surface. The small mounds the storm had formed bring a little structure to the otherwise homogeneous surface. 'Loki?', Thor calls out. 'He was right here.' He helplessly gestures to the now empty place next to him. Loki had refused to sleep any closer due to the cold he himself emits. 'Loki!', he calls out again.

'Damn. Barton?', Steve shouts out when he can't spot their watch.

Clint starts from his sleep. 'Shit. What?' He sighs when he realizes that he fell asleep. The night before they all hadn't gotten much sleep, this night hadn't been much different. The storm had first kept them awake before the exhaustion had succeeded. The wind that howled so loud when is swept across the cliffs, this night the cold was another problem and still is. 'I'm sorry, Cap. I must drifted off.'

'It's alright.', Steve says, understanding his sleepy friend. 'Have you seen Loki?'

'Loki, he was.. right there.' The blond looks at Thor with a frown. 'Where's he?' Eventually he's awake enough to feel the cold and shivers. 'We'll freeze to death without him.' Natasha and Bruce wake from the commotion as the team stands up to look for Loki. They quickly inform them what happened.

Thor is ready to freak out by now as he scans the white plains and finds not a single clue as to where his husband could be. Something bad must have happened, crosses his mind. What if that beast returned and snatched Loki?

The mound next to Thor starts to collapse. Surprised Thor turns around to stare at the snow dropping to the side, revealing his husband. Loki rubs the sleep from his eyes when he emerges from his icy prison.

'Loki.', Thor exclaims happily.

'What?' He seems to have been deeply asleep, being awakened rather ungentle. Loki looks around himself, finding all his friends stare at him. 'What's the matter?' He raises his hand again to brush off some snow from his face, apparently not noticing he's still buried underneath it. He freezes when his hand comes into his view. The deep blue skin is set apart from the white surroundings. Loki sighs deeply. 'It is not avoidable anymore, I guess.' He now notices the snow that had accumulated on his cold skin.

'Can you light a fire again?', Bruce asks, trying to lighten the mood and not show his surprise about Loki's form. They had all seen his Jotun form but until now Loki had kept his Asgardian body, though Thor had restraint himself from asking why.

'I can try. But I don't think it will do much.', Loki says with a sigh. He steps to where the flames extinguished and manages to light a bigger fire than the night before. His magic is more unleashed when he isn't constantly shape-shifting or controlling his own temperature, either because it's too warm on Asgard or too cool here. A good nighttime's sleep must have also had an impact on Loki. Still, fire magic doesn't come natural to the Jotnar.

The team gets closer to the fire, warming the half-frozen limbs and ice cold toes and fingers. Though the elven cloaks keep them warm, they weren't meant to make their wearers survive such frost. The sun doesn't warm the surface, merely makes it unbearable to look at the white glistening snow for too long. Thor is glad about the beard that has grown on his face, the difference it makes might be minimal but enough that he feels sorry for Natasha. For the first time he notices how ragged they all look. Apart from the ravenette the men are all sprouting a beard by now and Thor can't even really remember the last time he had a decent bath which was not just a dip in a lake or river.

They have to be careful with their supplies so they only eat a small breakfast, leaving Thor still hungry. It's merely enough to reawaken the hunger. The food is reviving him and his teammates. After the breakfast they leave in the direction of the exit again, the small pull in his core telling Thor as well as the others how to get out of here. He hopes they will reach the exit today but there is no way of telling.

Loki walks next to him, still being angry because he cannot sense what for everyone else is a given. Thor tries to take his hand but Loki draws back before they can touch. 'I'm too cold.', he scolds the blond.

Thor sighs. 'I'm already cold, love.' The wind had died down somewhat but is still cold and piercing. The sun doesn't spend much warmth. Loki rolls his eyes. 'I could take your bag, it looks heavy.' Because of all of them he carries the most and had additionally transported all of the wood on his own, claiming it'd be his responsibility.

'You're ridiculous.', he notes dryly, not even looking at the blond. 'I'm fine.', Loki says after noticing Thor's insistent stare. 'If you want to help, offer it to our friends. I'm probably the only one not suffering from the cold and being able to survive here. Thor, I appreciate it but I do not need to tended to.', he claims with a shake of his head.

'But..'

Loki huffs. 'Take the luggage of Lady Natasha if you dare ask her, that would help me to not be responsible for the whole group. We're both more resilient.' Loki had cast some minor spells on their blankets and cloaks so they can hold more warmth though the spells are wearing off, Thor can tell. Where the skin emerges from the materials, the cold burns.

'Are you sure? You must be tired by now, and drained.', Thor says carefully, not wanting to offend him.

'I am not a fire giant, I can only repeat that. I might light a fire, but to keep, as a Jotun, six people warm is difficult at the best of times.' Loki sighs. 'I'm under pressure. And yes, I am tired. My spells are wearing as you notice.', he admits. 'I can draw strength from the land in my natural form, maybe tonight I can renew the spells and make sure you won't be cold again but there is nothing you can do except find the exit.'

'I love you.', Thor states and leans in for a kiss. His lips burn from the light touch, it's like touching ice, but he insists on the display of affection. 'You don't have to do everything alone. When we're out of here, you can rest.'

Loki nods though he knows it's an empty promise. No one can say how far the way still is and how the next world will look like. When the sun reaches its zenith, they make a small rest. Loki lights a fire, the wood supply quickly dwindles but it is necessary for all of them. Steve and Bruce already carry the bags of Stark, Natasha and Clint, taking turns with the Asgardians. Steve's high metabolism helps him to keep warm, the cold doesn't seem to bother Banner as much as it would with any normal mortal. The Hulk seems to be more resilient as well. They warm by the fire. Tony suffers the most from the temperatures, pressing closer to the fire. Loki takes their cloaks and tries to cast a new spell on them to keep the Avengers warm, especially should the night be so cold again. They can't skip lunch because the mortals are already close to collapsing.

'Thanks.', Barton mutters when he slips back into his jackets. 'Much better.'

'Is it warm?'

He shrugs. 'Like a snow storm in a parka. Bearable for now.', he admits. Thor knows what he means. The wind is still cutting through the fabric but it's not as cold as before. Loki looks pale despite his dark blue skin but he waves it off. They wander off again to the south east when the flames extinguish. The wood doesn't burn forever if Loki doesn't feed it with his energy. His deep sleep from last night is an indication to how worn out the ravenette is.

'Is this how the real Jotunheim is?', Stark asks in the evening to distract himself from the drop of the temperature.

'It's somewhat the same but.. well, we're close to one of the biggest dwellings if I estimate correctly where we are. One day's march, maybe two in this direction. But otherwise, no. Even its own magic feels the same, maybe even more powerful.', Loki informs him.

'Do you remember anything? I mean, from before?', he questions further. 'You told us that Jotunheim suffered after the war. Was it any different from what it is now?'

'That's.. difficult to say.' Loki motions to the mountains that begin in the south, sharp cliffs even visible from the distance. 'This is what I dreamed about for years. When I was younger I thought I was afraid of the Jotnar. When Mother first told us stories about them, my dreams started. All my life they let me believe I hated Jotunheim.' A sad smile twists his features.

'I remember. The Jotnar followed you and tried to kill you.', Thor says. When they were younger the ravenette would often seek comfort in his brother's arms when the dreams were to frightening to face alone. While Thor couldn't wait to fight the frost giants, his brother was afraid of them, also a reason for Thor to want to rid the surface of the realms of them.

Loki huffs. 'That's what I thought. The only clear images I could really remember from the dreams were Jotnar, running away and a panic I could never suppress. It took me years to figure out it was no simple dream, rather a resurfacing memory. I didn't dream of the Jotnar following me to kill me, I remembered them running away with me to not get killed. The Asgardians had just crossed the borders to the capital and were driving the people out. There was slaughtering, pain and death everywhere. It would of course frighten a little babe as well as any grown man. My mother took me to bring me to safety and left me alone with a guard in the temple where Odin would find me. My first memory and I thought it was but a dream from my own imagination.', he admits. 'I have been in a war, I have seen my fair share of death, even before all of this, and still that dream hunted me until quite recently.'

Only to be replaced with even worse dreams, Thor thinks but remains silent.

'Anyway, no need to dwell on past things.' Loki shakes his head to rid himself of his old memories. 'If I wouldn't have been taken by Odin, I would have never met Thor or at least wouldn't have fallen for the brash young man I would have found.'

'Well, I would still love you, even if you were silver-tongued, moody, spoiled prince whose only plan was to take revenge on me.', Thor tells him with a grin.

'You're unbelievable.' Laughing Loki shakes his head.

Two days later Thor can barely remember that carefree moment anymore. No had laughed since then, no one had spoken since the last morning to save energy. There is nothing to talk about but to complain about the cold, the lack of food and the lack of sleep.

Two days wandering through the ice desert without any indication that their journey comes to an end. The food supplies are exhausted since yesterday, since then they all go hungry and are even more grumpy than before. The fire wood supply is almost worse off because they try to keep at least a few sticks when they are freezing. The cold is murderous, grinding on all their nerves. It's terrible to know that they could be warm but have to keep freezing because they need the wood for the even colder nights. Loki fervently looks for another solution but until then they need to be frugal.

The cliffs that had been so far away two days ago now towering over them and cast a shadow, cutting them off from the already cold sunlight. Thor recognizes the structures that could have been here if it would be their Jotunheim, the places where houses would be made out of the ice and stone, where market places would form, where a part of the palace would stand, where Jotnar would live and laugh. They enter the trench between the mountains to where the city would have been.

It's almost making Thor's blood freeze seeing the place that was so full of life now empty of every aspect of it. They all look around, realizing what they have in front of themselves. Thor wonders if Loki remembers this void when he thinks of his first memory. Just the blood and gore are missing. The wind doesn't blow here, dipping the whole scene in absolute silence.

His hairs stand up though Thor knows it's not from the cold. They go through what could be streets, the cold structures rising higher and higher above them, cutting out the last sunlight.

'Something's off.' Steve's voice is hoarse from the lack of usage when he states it. His breath hangs visible in front of him for some moments. He looks around, expecting something that's not coming but Thor knows what he means.

'We're being watched.', Loki says. He is leading the way through the labyrinth of ice, also casting wary glances upwards. 'For some time now but there's nothing we can do. Whatever, or whoever, it is will show in time. We can't get out of here and we need to go this way because we don't know if we can walk around these mountains or if we'll miss the exit.' They had found out rather quickly that Loki can't teleport them, not even himself, in these worlds. Something is blocking him, he says. Maybe it's the Reality Stone, maybe it's because these are no real places.

They know he's right but it's still unnerving to feel the lurking shadow and not know what it is.

'Maybe we should look for shelter and stop here till tomorrow.', Clint suggests. Thor can tell his fingers itch for his bow.

'Impossible.', Natasha notes. 'We don't have enough supplies. If we don't move, we'll need the fire and that might be our last. It still could be days.'

'Unfortunately Tasha is right, Clint. We will have to be careful and not let our guard down.', Steve agrees. They edge further into the trench in the ice, the stone piles up further to all sides, cutting them off from the outer world though the low temperatures stay with them. Since the wind isn't ripping on their clothes anymore, their breaths ghost in the air. There is no movement in the air, and no sound pierces the silence. The crunching of their shoes in the untouched snow are loud in their ears.

The big ice wall at their left side shatters, breaking the deadly silence. While the shards fall down, the seconds seem to stretch into hours. The gigantic beast that Steve and Loki had seen days ago jumps from the opening, taking up most of Thor's viewing field. It is huge. The body is too small for the giant head with the even bigger mouth. Razor sharp teeth gleam in the dim light, the roar that leaves the beast's throat is deep and vibrates in Thor's ears, making them ring. It's tail swings around in slow motion, the big scales smashing more of the ice, leaving sharp edged shards on the floor and falling on them.

The others jump to the side to face the beast that is attacking them. Mjolnir finds Thor's hand almost without a thought. Natasha releases a shot from her pistol she had carried with her in London. The beast is surprised for a short second about the loud noise, giving Thor the time to hurl Mjolnir at it. The hammer hits its mark but it barely turns its head from the impact, the bullet doesn't seem to have had any effect on it except make it more furious if that is possible.

It turns around when Mjolnir comes back to the blond Asgardian, hearing the whooshing sound. Its tail whips through the air, bringing down some pillars, showering the Avengers with ice chunks. Mjolnir's handle makes contact with Thor's hand. The beast's gaze follows it as it comes after the annoying object because Thor isn't suffering from the delusion that it more than irritated the gigantic creature.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees something green before Thor has to dodge one of the four paws armed with claws that tries to squash him and his companions. He lunges to the left, rolling further to get up again, hitting the beast's jaw with his hammer when it attempts to bite his head off.

A loud roar leaves its throat again and angry it turns away from Thor, staring behind it where the Hulk had grabbed its hind leg, trying to pull it down. Thor sees the other mortals scramble out of the way as the creature steps backwards to free its leg from the death grip, shaking off Hulk as if he were a rag doll. Steve drags Stark out of the way, he had fallen when the beast had lunged itself at them, having to pay attention not being trampled down by the giant feet. They manage to get the brunet man out from under the creature and out of the way. Loki slips under the giant body, ice blades are already formed in his hands, his daggers he had probably given to Natasha and Clint for they also start to attack the beast to give the others the time to collect themselves and not be under attack straight away.

If this is the same creature that the soldier and his brother had seen a few nights ago or if it's another, Thor doesn't know. Maybe it had followed them, not knowing the fire but probably finding their smell alluring enough to choose them as a quick snack. Who can say how many of these beasts roam the lands? Maybe the team had walked right into its home and it now wants to shoo them away again or have a bite.

Where the Hulk lands, Thor can not see for he is concentrated on distracting the beast from the people under its belly.

Without armor and weaponry none of the mortals except for Banner are of any real use. Maybe Stark could do something had he his suit. For him and Clint it's especially hard to stand on the sidelines but they'd just endanger their lives without reason. Steve had brought Stark to relative safety behind some of the stones, at least they are out of the beast's sight for now and out of Thor's way. Why the red haired assassin refuses to draw back though she poses no real threat to the beast and merely endangers herself is beyond the blond. At least Clint had found his way from underneath the beast and now keeps his distance.

He hurls Mjolnir into the air, the beast turns to him because of the noise, giving Loki the time to embed both blades deep into its stomach but without getting much of a reaction. It must be too accustomed to ice and sitting down on rather uncomfortable spikes. Loki slips away again to figure out a new plan of attack. The beast apparently had noticed the blades in its belly and Natasha underneath it. She fights it off with Loki's daggers, trying to get the metal blade through its dark thick skin.

Natasha loses the knife, it gets stuck between the scales. She tries to pull it out again, but the beast rises up again, trying to squash her under its feet. Loki yells a warning at her that is lost in the turmoil of the Hulk jumping in on the scene again. He leaps onto the beast's back, distracting it and keeping it from following the red haired woman. Natasha scrambles out from under its legs into safety. Thor hurls his hammer, trying to find a weak spot without endangering his friends. Hulk hits it on the head to confuse it. Thor hears the blood freezing scream when it tries to shake of the green giant.

The beast had turned around to face its attacker, apparently not used to fight smaller enemies, and flicked its tail. Natasha, still trying to get out of its reach, had been hit by the end of the beast's tail with its big scales. She is thrown out of Thor's sight, only the red splatter in the snow are left. A disbelieving noise leaves Loki's throat. The blood rushing through Thor's ears almost drowns everything out but there is no time to think of her fate.

Loki runs through its legs to rush and tend to Natasha, getting almost hit with the same precision that had felled the strong lady.

Thor braces himself for the next attack, now that all his vulnerable friends are out of his way. Mjolnir raised proud into the sky, he summons lightening now that he no longer has to fear to hurt anyone. Hulk seems to realize what is about to happen and jumps out of the way as soon as the beast no longer faces Thor. He leaps towards where Natasha had fallen but Thor forbids himself any thought of her. The lightening hits the beast but it doesn't fall to Thor's surprise. The scales on its skin must somehow carry the electricity and render it harmless. The only effect is a growl and a snap of the head in Thor's direction. The blond scrambles away to not be caught with it's mouth.

With a mighty roar the green Avenger jumps back on the beast's back when Thor evades being smashed into the ground. He doesn't want to imagine what Banner saw that got him in such a mood.

The Hulk grabs one of the stalactites, breaking it free, letting himself drop onto the back of the beast again. Thor sees his chance, using his hammer to fly up and let it smash on the spike to drive it into the spine of the threat. With a howl of fury Mjolnir makes contact with the ice that shatters immediately, leaving almost no scratch on the beast's skin. Thor barely feels the impact when it shakes him and Hulk from its back.

He tries to push away the thoughts of what happened to his friends. A shadow blocks his view from the outside world. Thor awaits the next impact but a snarl is all he hears before the shadow vanishes.

Steve had somehow drawn the blade out of the beast's belly and had rammed it into its foot. He had used the chance to recover from the shock and had entered the fight though he stands only a little chance against the giant as any of them. Dark blood splatters onto the white ground. The soldier had given Thor the time to stand up but with his friend standing this close to the beast, he dares little more than attacking it with his fists and hammer to distract it, giving the other blond time to draw back.

Steve gets thrown on the ground. Before anyone can make a move, the beast has its foot placed on the blond's chest. The winter clothes prevent him from moving as he is used to, impairing his mobility and destroying his agility.

Their breaths stop for a moment when the beast leans into his right front leg to crush the Captain. Thor jumps forward into the beast's reach, bringing Mjolnir with him. With all his strength Thor strikes his hammer against its jaw, knocking it back. It steps away from Steve but Thor doesn't let it rest, driving it further back to give someone else the time to help the blond mortal. Hulk joins him and together they fight of creature. Their steps suddenly sound hallow when they enter a big cave. The creature draws back, its jaw hurt by Mjolnir. This much resistance it apparently hadn't expected. It is almost pitch black in the cave, the only daylight falls in from behind them.

Hulk starts to hit into one of the walls, Thor quickly picks up on his idea. Some of the boulders already fall from the ceiling, irritating the beast. It draws further back into cave. Bigger stalactites drop to the ground, the creature evades it still. When the ceiling comes down, the ground gives in, pulling the creature down with it. The ground beneath their feet also gets cracks before giving in. Thor hurls his hammer into the air when the screech of the beast echoes through the now open cave.

The Hulk grabs a hold of Thor's foot, then the Asgardian flies them out of the cave. With a thud Hulk lets himself fall when they are over solid ground again. The green mortal runs in the direction of their friends, Thor follows suit.

Loki is crouched over Steve who is out cold and doesn't move. He had more or less successfully pressed against the paw threatening to squash him. Still, not even a super soldier could hope to match the strength of such a creature.

Tony and Clint come out from their place watching over Natasha. Bruce transforms back to his mortal form. His clothes probably tore and Thor finds himself not really freezing, so he tosses his cloak to the brunet man to give him something to cover. The scientist already hastens to the hurt red haired woman, nodding quickly a thanks to Thor.

'Is he..', Thor doesn't finish the question. The other man edges closer as well.

Loki shakes his head. 'He's still breathing.', he says, the strain audible in his voice. He carefully places his hands on Steve's chest. 'Several rips are broken, one is piercing his lung. Fuck.', Loki curses. 'I need time and space. We shouldn't stay here. Find us a secluded place, light a fire. Get me water, hot water if possible.', Loki directs them, then turns back to the blond, trying to safe his life.

Thor nods and heads together with Stark past Bruce and Clint who tend to Natasha. There is a lot of blood in the snow, coloring the surroundings red. In the passing Thor sees her breathing, and is relieved. Stark is disturbed, following Thor without really being mentally concentrated on the task.

 **xXxXxXx**

 **Hello, my dear readers!**

 **Just some quick notes on the text: The dream Loki describes I still owed you from chapter 20. I hinted at some nightmares Loki had but never elaborated what exactly suddenly made sense. I could find an excuse but I simply forgot to write about it in the next chapter and then there somehow didn't seem to be the place.. Well, so if you were waiting for that, impatiently tapping your foot, sorry it took so long. :)  
**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading. Maybe leave a review if you liked it? Or even if you didn't. Feel free to express your feelings. Otherwise, till next week!**


	48. Chapter 46 Torture

Torture

 _Slowly, with many lost days, I come back to life.  
Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay_

Thor walks around the empty space where a big city should have been, where life should be, looking for a small cavern or the like to accommodate the Avengers, especially big enough to hold their injured and small enough to be heatable. The adrenaline level in his blood slowly sinks as the minutes pass by. Stark still pads after him, not fully realizing what they are doing and being no help whatsoever.

The cuts in his hands and on his cheek start to burn but the worst is the cold. Thor's heated skin cools quickly in the freezing air, the coldness is coming quickly now that the sun isn't shining into the crack in the mountains anymore, and now there is no danger anymore to keep him warm. Thor tries not to think of his friends, not of the bloodied body of Natasha lying in the snow, nor of Steve being stepped on by the beast that had attempted to kill them all.

After what feels like an eternity Thor spots a crack in one of the walls. Further examination proves that it suffices to hold the group of seven with some spare space left. It will have to be enough for now. Thor hurries back with Tony in tow. Loki is still crouched over Steve, muttering under his breath.

'You gotta move him there. I need my magic to keep him alive. But be careful. He's lost a lot of blood.', he warns them again after Thor tells him of the cave. He points over to where they had sought cover. 'There should still be a little wood. Steven needs to be kept warm.'

Thor looks down at the broken form of Captain America. Loki had cut up his clothes to reach his injuries, making the already deep blue shade of the body visible despite the overthrown blanket. The blond doesn't dare touch the hurt man, afraid to cause even more damage but it has to be done.

'I need your help, Stark.'

Tony had stared until now at the crushed form at their feet, disbelief and shock written all over his face. His mouth stands agape, his eyebrows are drawn together. When hearing Thor's request, he looks at the blond confused, his eyes leaving Steve for the first time. He nods almost imperceptible, then his eyes flit back to the Captain.

Thor crouches down and carefully lifts the blond by his shoulders, wanting not to hurt him further but seeing no other way. Stark walks to Steve's feet and picks them up. The blond is more heavy than he looks, Thor has to admit. Slowly they carry the unconscious man to the small cave. He groans occasionally in pain but doesn't wake up. Stark lets his feet down as soon as they reach their shelter, then sits down next to Steve, not knowing what to do. Thor pities him a little, here without his technology and without any useful knowledge he cannot help them and can't do anything for his friend now either. Thor lights a fire with the few sticks that they have left but it doesn't emit much warmth and certainly not enough to keep Steve warm.

Fortunately he doesn't have to worry for long when Loki slips into the cave, his hands hovering for a second above the blond's chest before he turns to the fire Thor had ignited in the middle of the almost circular cave. Clint and Bruce carry in Natasha moments later by which time more heat comes from the small flames. Loki apparently had stopped the bleeding with Bruce's help. The dark haired mortal controls her vitals after they placed her close to the fire to get some warmth back into her body, making sure that she is out of danger. Still the woman hadn't woken up until now though if because of the severeness of her wounds or because Loki made her sleep, Thor can't tell.

Loki calls Bruce over to Steve. Thor turns away and busies himself with collecting snow together with Stark and Clint outside of the small cave, knowing what they would have to do. He hears the cracking of bones despite the walls of ice separating them. Suppressing a shudder, he tries not to listen for the next crackling but it's of no use. The gut-wrenching noises are thrown back from the walls, amplifying each sound. Stark flinches violently with each of them, he doesn't even pretend to be concentrated on the task. Clint also looks rather pale though he keeps his composure.

Some minutes after they have collected enough snow to melt they still wait, the small group goes back when the sounds have faded. Loki sits far away from the fire in the shadow, his head in his hands. Bruce is also pale but he distracts himself by tending to Natasha. They melt the snow to have some water which they pour down the throats of the unconscious, then they all settle by the fire. Every few moments Loki walks over to the Steve and Natasha to heal them a little more or control their vitals.

'They are weak but they'll survive as long as we get out of here quickly.', Loki says when no one makes a move to say something. 'Without fire..' He shakes his head.

Thor nods. In this cold they would never survive, the injuries have weakened the mortals further but even without them there wouldn't be much time left. 'We need to carry them then. It doesn't matter how.'

'Maybe Steve will come by.' He shrugs. 'I have never seen anyone, mortal or Asgardian, react that fast to a treatment. I am actually surprised he survived that injury at all.', Loki quietly admits.

Bruce shrugs. 'He heals four times faster than a normal human. Still, that is a trauma even Steve will need time to recover from. Not even mentioning Natasha.', he mutters darkly.

'What..?', Clint doesn't finish the question.

'It hit her with its tail, a spike pierced her abdomen, went right through her liver and tore her skin. Loki stopped the bleeding and I took care of the wound. I'm not sure how much blood she lost and we have no means to give her more.', Bruce tells him almost without emotions in his voice.

Clint nods absentmindedly. It's a minor injury, even for Midgardian standards, but out here, without any of their medical aids it could as well mean Natasha's death if they don't get her a quiet, warm, nice place, some food and some new clothes soon. The only problem is, Thor realizes, even if they do get her out of here, it could take them days, weeks to find even one of these things.

xXxXx

The morning takes forever to come but there is no palpable increase in temperature. The fire dies down slowly because Loki is too exhausted to keep it going for much longer. The healing of the two mortals had taken most of his energy from him, he could certainly sleep for days but that can't be right now.

Steve wakes up for a brief period of time in the morning before gliding back into an uneasy sleep. Natasha hadn't opened her eyes ever since she had been hit by the beast's tail. Loki starts to worry because of that but isn't sure if it isn't for the best. She needs to regain her strength and walking around with that wound won't help. Bruce had patched her together with a needle and yarn from their cloaks last night. Having to rely on such crude methods feels wrong. In Asgard her injuries could have been healed in a few hours. In this hostile environment it could take weeks given they find shelter, sustenance and assistance before something else happens.

They pick up their friends, Clint and Bruce carry Natasha, Loki and Thor the much heavier Steve. Stark leads the way though they don't cross much distance until they have to rest again. In the afternoon Steve awakes and demands to walk on his own but he has to realize that his legs are far too weak to do so. Thor steadies him as they continue their way.

Loki had kept away from the mortals and the fire, both the heat being uncomfortable against his skin and he thinks that they feel his own cold body temperature as well.

The evening already nears and Loki dreads what that would mean for the whole team when there is a white flash of light. The ice wind of Jotunheim is gone in an instant and replaced by the non-existent warmth of the Citadel. Loki sighs in relief. Being finally out of Jotunheim, finally not having to take care of the lives of his friends is relieving though the results of their little adventure are disastrous.

They don't have any supplies anymore, neither food nor fire wood, Bruce had lost his clothing except for his elastic shorts and Loki's shoes, they are two blankets and jackets short and two of their team members are badly injured, the rest are tired and drained.

The Midgardians slump to the floor. Dark shadows are under all their eyes. They draw the blankets and cloaks from their bodies, Loki changes back to his Asgardian form because of the heat. Bruce hides under the blanket and falls asleep almost instantly. Steve looks extremely pale and hisses when Thor helps him down to the ground. Loki crouches down in front of him, hovering his hand over the relocated rips.

'Can I do something for you?', he asks, assessing the new damage and the healing of the old. Bruce had been right, probably Thor wouldn't heal much faster either. Still Steve must be in real pain if his scrunched eyes are any indication. Even the light touches seem to be too much to handle for the blond.

Steve shakes his head, trying to control his breathing. Talking seems too much of a strain for him right now. Loki hands him a bottle of water which he gladly accepts. Fortunately he hadn't been conscious when Bruce and Loki had to set the bones back into their original position. His chest is dark with bruises but the bones are already mending. Loki estimates less than a Midgardian week for his full recovery.

Loki would like to do more but his magic is exhausted and Natasha needs more tending to, she has no special superpowers. He leaves the super soldier to sleep, he deserves a rest, and walks over to the red haired woman.

'She hasn't woken yet.', Clint informs him without Loki having to ask.

Loki nods, not wanting to either get his hopes up nor worry the mortal any more than necessary. 'I can try to wake her.', he tells Clint. Her head hadn't taken a bad hit but Natasha had lost a lot of blood. Loki isn't sure what causes this prolonged unconsciousness. He hovers his hands over her head, dipping into her mind without intruding on her thoughts.

Natasha's eyes fly open before she shuts them and hisses in pain. Loki places his hand over the wound and directs some of his magic there to dull her pain. Also he insures that she doesn't sit up in panic and tears her skin again. Another blood loss she wouldn't survive.

'You need to drink, then you can sleep again.', Loki tells her when her breathing becomes less labored. He helps her sit up carefully and drink a few gulps before the pain in her stomach becomes too much. She falls asleep before Loki has withdrawn, the little exercise tiring her out.

'She needs food and better medical treatment.', Loki says to no one in particular. 'Natasha can take a lot but she needs rest. And with our current situation we don't have time.' The situation is most dire.

'We can rest a few hours, then we might split up to get food and..', Thor suggests.

Tony immediately shakes his head. 'We won't split up, Blondie. How would we know if you're dead or when you return?', he asks. 'It's not possible. What if you get stuck? None of us knows how the time passes here or in these worlds. It could be weeks for us and mere hours for you. We're in here together.'

'Tony's right, Thor. I can walk and Natasha.. Well, I guess she needs to be carried.', Steve concludes. His back leans on the nearest wall. He is still pale and when he tries to sit up a little bit more, his face turns an ugly shade of gray, but all in all one could almost forget he barely escaped death not a day ago.

'The next world could be worse.' Loki sighs. 'Sleep for now. I will think of something.', he vaguely says before going towards the exit. His nightly activities proof to be futile. It is just as Loki expected and still, he refuses to give up until he had checked every other damned building in this world, which needs that long that the sky darkens though they must have arrived at what could be described as morning. They had chosen the biggest building and the only one containing these doors. There is no trace of any opening of a portal or thinning of the veils, no fleeting feeling of Heimdall's gaze, nothing. Depressed and tired Loki heads back, knowing he had to check. He wouldn't have slept anyway. A watch is unnecessary in this part of their involuntary travel.

The others are still sleeping, not even stirring. He sneaks to Thor's side, sitting down and watching over his friends. There had at least been a slight chance that the doors continue to the other parts of this place, but this seems to be the center. Loki had hoped for something, a fling, a spontaneous suggestion, something that would enable him to call for help or bring them home altogether. That he can't teleport within the alternate universes is bad, it means he can't just go to Asgard and study some books in the library or ask his mother for help. He had even walked all the way to the landing where they entered this world but apart from the imprint of the Convergence, there was nothing new to see.

Loki falls asleep without wanting to.

Thor gently shakes his shoulder, waking Loki gently. 'The others are ready to leave soon. Have you found what you were looking for?', he asks, his blue eyes look at him helplessly looking for hope.

'No. Yes. A bit of both I guess.', he says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Loki's eyes dart to the ground to not see the evaporating hope. 'That remains to be seen. I might have an idea which none of you will like.' He shakes his head at Thor's questioning face.

Natasha awakes despite the injuries, her face is still unusually pale, her hands shake when she holds the water bottle to her lips. She forces herself to be strong but her body refuses to do most of her biddings. Standing up is entirely impossible and her short period of strength wanes already as she lies down to the floor again, too tired to keep herself propped up even with the help of the wall. Steve tries to shrug of the help of his friends but sees eventually that he won't stand up without assistance. Loki looks over both their injuries to make sure there is no new damage. Natasha's wound at least doesn't become infected, Steve's bones need not to be set again.

'Do we really want to take the next door? We could go back to Alfheim.', Loki suggests. There they would most certainly find food even if they would not return to the village they had been at. The mortals could certainly need the rest and the forests of Alfheim are warm most times of the year and full of plants and animals to strengthen them from.

'No. We gotta keep moving. It doesn't matter. We need supplies but going back won't do us much good. Who knows what's now behind that door. We will have to risk it.', Steve decides. Loki thinks about arguing but knows it is pointless.

The group walks towards the next door, Loki and Clint almost carrying Natasha in between them. Tony looks at them all before opening the door after they have marked their previous adventure.

Bright sunshine greets them. Loki shields his eyes and takes in the scenery before his eyes. He thinks he had seen this place before on pictures.

'Please tell me you got your pockets full of cash, Stark.', Clint groans at the sight that meets their eyes. People walk past them as if it is an everyday occurrence that people just pop up from thin air.

'Is this real? Or is this some freaky other place in your universe? Because that would be really uncool.', Tony answers.

'This is Midgard, without doubt.', Loki says. The bright red bridge spanning across a wide water surface is gleaming in the sunlight. 'San Francisco?', he asks for confirmation since he only had seen the bridge on photographs.

'Yep.', Tony confirms. 'And sorry Clint, Jay pays my bills.' He groans, seeing the problem. 'And my phone didn't even survive that involuntary bath we took.' Summed up, there is no way for them to get money from the easiest source.

'Not as good as you always pretend, is it?', Clint states with a satisfied smirk. Tony always loves to point out how great his technology is.

'No!', he exclaims, crossing his arms. 'I lost it, otherwise it would have worked here. Or not. This isn't our universe, is it?' Tony shrugs. 'I probably wouldn't have service anyway. Who knows if they have even electricity here.'

'Who knows if Jarvis wouldn't tell on us in case he even exists.', Loki interposes. He sighs. 'Where should we go?' The others point in the direction of the inner city. The city looks normal if they can trust Stark's judgment who had been here a couple of times.

The people start to stare at them the further they get. Loki looks down on himself. His clothes may be from Midgard but they are dirty and well worn. Some little flaws make him look like he just came out of the wild which is truer than they could guess. They others don't look much better, Bruce is barely covering himself with the remnants of an Elven cloak. They look very self-conscious except for Thor who is used to being stared at after coming from a battle field.

The streets are crowded but they evade the group, giving them weird stares. They probably take them for either thieves or vagabonds. And with Natasha being almost unconscious hanging between Bruce and Clint, also like criminals. Hopefully dangerous enough for them to stay away, Loki thinks.

'Do you know an inconspicuous place where we can rest and lie low for a while?', Loki asks Tony who seems to have the most experience in this city. He eyes Steve and Natasha who both barely can keep themselves up. Steve surely could need some rest before he collapses on them.

'Seriously? Me and lying low?' He laughs mirthless. 'I guess there was a small hotel a few streets in that direction. But we have no money, you remember that right?' He raises one of his eyebrows, eyeing Loki warily.

'I'll.. think of something.', the ravenette evades. He doesn't look at the Midgardians directly. Thor sighs, guessing his intentions but he doesn't judge him or try to stop him, knowing it's the only way, or at least the quickest.

They walk down some of the streets. In front of the small hotel Loki casts an illusion over them to not be thrown out immediately again, for more his magic doesn't suffice. This place truly doesn't look like Stark would have ever crossed the threshold of his own accord. It is small and a little run-down. The guy behind the counter doesn't look surprised to see a large group enter though he doesn't seem happy about it either.

Loki steps closer to the counter. 'Hello. We are in need of a sleeping place.'

'How many rooms?', he asks without looking up from his magazine. Loki is grateful for his disinterest. This also doesn't look like a place where they ask too many questions.

He frowns, then turns to his friends. Clint lifts four fingers, so Loki tells the man that number.

'I'd need your credit card.' Finally the man looks up and holds out his hand. Something shifts in his eyes but it is gone before Loki can figure out what it was.

'Right.' Loki briefly closes his eyes and delves into the Midgardian's mind. His eyes glaze over shortly before he reaches under the counter and hands Loki four almost identical keys. 'Thank you.', he says before he waves his friends towards the staircase. This small display of power had already cost him more energy than he cares to admit.

They hurry up and Loki unlocks the first of their rooms. It's shabby, with only a double bed and a small bathroom. The small window opens to the street below. It's better than anything they had slept in for what feels like weeks. Steve sinks to the bed when his knees threaten to give in. Clint and Bruce help Natasha onto the bed.

'Okay, what do we need?', Loki asks.

'I could check if I can hack into the Stark servers to organize us some money. My other self will be generous enough.' Tony shrugs.

'It would draw too much attention to us.', Steve disagrees. 'We should lie low. This seems to be the present, and should we exist, we don't know how we would react to this.'

'But we need money.', Stark argues.

'I, er.. I got a credit card.', Loki admits, drawing the stolen wallet from his pocket. 'And some cash. Enough to buy some provisions and clothes.' The others look a little shocked, except for Thor who just sighs resigned.

'Did you..?', Steve stutters.

'Yes, I stole it.', Loki almost hisses. 'He looked rich enough. And don't forget, this isn't real. These are alternatives to our world. If you don't want to starve, you have to start thinking.', Loki defends himself.

Steve looks like he is about to argue further but Natasha takes the wind out of his sails. 'Loki's right, this is not about doing the right thing but what is necessary.' She had sit down the second they had entered the first room and hasn't stood up since then. She looks paler than usual. Steve is also shaky but he pulls himself together.

'I still don't like it.'

The others ignore him. 'So, we have limited time and credit. That guy will soon notice that his wallet is gone and then the cards will be canceled.', Tony tells them.

'We should hurry then. But all of us will be obvious, especially in our current clothing situation. We should split.', Clint suggests. 'Steve and Tasha should rest, Dr. Banner can pay attention to them and try to find out more about this world. Stark, you shouldn't show your face too much in case this you is anything like you. You could go and get us some supplies, basics like food and blankets and stuff like that. You take the cash.'

'He shouldn't go alone. I will come with you, friend Tony.', Thor offers.

'Great, big guy. But yeah, if I am anything like myself this could go terribly wrong. Anything special?'

'Anything that's light and durable.', Clint says. 'Just stuff we can eat here or carry.'

'Remember to get us some medical supplies as well. Dressing materials, antiseptics, anything you can get your hands on.', Bruce tells them with a pointed look. 'Raid a drug store, anything basic we can carry. I don't think we'll get IVs or something like that.', he adds with a look to Natasha. 'But otherwise, anything we might need.'

'Noted.' Stark takes the money. 'Any other wishes? This should be enough for a little more. Damn, Loki, you have an eye for people who carry a lot of cash with them.' He takes the bank notes out of the wallet. 'Well, wanna go, Point Break? No use in hanging out here, it's probably already quite late and I don't want to meet some unsavory characters.' No one points out that the people will think them the unsavory characters.

The sun is already low and the temperature indicate it's summer. Briefly Loki wonders how much time in their universe passed and if the summer is already waning there or if snow falls on Asgard.

'We'll go as well.', Barton says, taking the credit card from Tony.

One and a half hours later the sun is sinking at last when the blond and Loki leave the shop. It had taken surprisingly little persuasion from Loki to make the cashier accept the card. After a while they had found fitting clothes for all of them. They leave the shop with several bags, and are surprised to find the streets mostly deserted.

Loki isn't the only one finding this strange. 'Where are all the people? They should be done with work and wander the streets.', Barton wonders.

'I know. Something is wrong. Let's get back quickly.' He cannot spot any normal humans on the streets but neither are there any bars or other fun activities they could indulge in. Actually now that he pays attention to it, they are close to the inner city but there are a lot of closed shops despite that there earlier were a lot of potential costumers so that can't be the reason. They hurry through the empty streets, meeting less and less people who are rushing in the opposite direction.

Thor and Tony had seen the same behavior on their way back to the others. Food is spread on the bed and they dig in, happy to finally have something to eat again. They draw the curtains to not be watched from outside, they still must hide because of that pocket theft, not that they would think they wouldn't be able to make a run for it. Natasha and Steve already look way better than they did a few hours ago and they agree as a group to stay for at least another day or two, they just might want to leave this sleazy hotel.

They split up to their rooms in pair of two, just Clint takes a single room. Loki feels like he barely closed his eyes when a strange noise wakes him up. Thor also moves on the bed, having awoken as well.

Loki looks out of the window. There are strange lights in the sky which look conspicuously like space ships. 'What's that?', he says loud enough for Thor to hear though he mostly thinks out loud. Thor steps behind him and looks out as well.

'No idea. But we should sleep. This isn't our home, we must expect things to be different.' Loki knows that Thor is just as curious but he is right. None of them wants to take unnecessary risks.

'You're right, we'll find out in the morning.' With that said, Loki turns away, lets the blinds shut out the outer world, and lies down to get some much needed sleep. His eyes already hurt from fatigue.

They don't have to till the morning though to find out what that strange lights were. The brothers wake up from a storming noise outside of the house. Loki sits up straight in bed and wakes Thor up. The blond rubs his eyes, before he jerks up as well, noticing the strange noise as well. They look at each other, both frowning and pondering what these sounds may be. There is a knock on the door. Steve and Tony stumble in, Clint and the rest of their friends right on their heels.

'What the hell is that?', Thor asks.

Tony shrugs. 'We hoped to have a better view from here.' He stalks over to the window and draws the blinds. The brunet man freezes instantly. 'Fuck. Tell me I am still asleep.' His hand tightens on the blinds.

Steve steps next to him and draws back almost instantly. The artificial light from the street lamps floods the room.

'What is it?', Bruce asks, drawing his clothes closer to his body to keep warm.

Steve shakes his head. 'Chitauri.'

The world seems to freeze for a moment.

'What?', Loki whispers, and jumps up to see it as well. Rows after rows of the armor clad monsters of his dreams file the streets and march in the direction of the bridge. His heart clenches and breathing becomes increasingly difficult.

'What fucked up world is this?', Tony demands to know, still facing the window, watching the soldiers march on. He is unable to draw his gaze away from them, just like Loki.

'The world in which Thanos won.', Loki mutters darkly.

'But he sought to destroy this world.', Barton intervenes.

Thor shakes his head. 'He just wanted the Tesseract. Loki was supposed to rule this world. Why would Thanos allow that if he had any interest in it? They must be stationed here to keep the peace of the population.'

'You mean he is here?', Loki's voice is calm enough if only because the sudden panic is suffocating.

'I don't know what his play is.' Thor shrugs. 'But it's a possibility. With the Tesseract he could have reached the other infinity stones and taken over the universe. He could be everywhere at once.', he gives them something to think about.

xXxXxXx

 **Hi guys!**

 **Sorry for the late update today but I felt too sick this morning to concentrate on making this chapter presentable. I'll probably go over this again in the morning when I don't feel like my head is split. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Till next week!**


	49. Chapter 47 What Could Have Been

What could have been

 _It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.  
We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.  
Chuck Palahniuk, Diary _

In the morning they leave the damned place that is crawling with the Chitauri. The exit seems to be outside of the city. On the way through the outskirts of the big city they meet less and less people and more destruction. The inner city is mostly untouched by the Chitauri but here they can see the decay where the humans left and the dirt where the Chitauri had taken their place. When they reach the end of the city they can see the big fence, the defensive constructions, a mile off. The borders are controlled by these creatures but Loki gets them through when they recognize him. Thor doesn't want to think about what that means, especially for them, and concentrates instead on following the sensations and not on the question if there could possibly be a universe in which the real Loki sought dominance over the world and not just a clone of him, already knowing that it could be all his other self's fault. His Loki would never let this happen and if that meant killing himself, the ravenette would do it. Thor shudders at the thought when pictures of Loki throwing himself into an abyss litter his mind.

The hideous creatures bow in their direction though they eye Loki's companions warily. Do they recognize the Avengers or are they just suspicious because their leader is here and not where he is supposed to be? A dominant Loki probably wouldn't have friends or companions of any sort. Loki straightens his back nonetheless and commands them to let the group pass. He doesn't look very happy about this whole situation, being the center of attention and seeing himself in the role Thanos had wanted for him, but he keeps his face.

Outside of the city the feeling doesn't leave Thor that they are followed. They leave by foot with their new backpacks and a reassuring weight on their backs. The sun is burning down on them. Stark frowns when he looks around.

'This isn't supposed to be like this.', he says quietly as they walk the desert like area. 'What happened?' There are no plants to grant them shadow nor can they see any living creature. As soon as they left the fence behind them, their environment seems void of all life, nothing survives out here. The people in the city might be locked up and forbidden to go further than the fence but the truth is, even should they get out, they could never hope to survive out here. Maybe the fence is something more that keeps this, whatever destroyed the nature here, outside.

'Who knows? A strange alien who tried to mind-control us all and succeeded with half of us. What did you expect of him? To leave our Earth like it was when we fought him?', Clint grumbles. Angrily the man kicks a stone, blowing up a lot of dust. They try to follow a road that should be here but it is completely covered by the sand.

'He might be using some natural resources that have this effect.', Bruce suggests. 'Seeing the controls that they have at the borders of the city, I would assume that there aren't many major cities anymore.', he mutters.

'You think..?' Tony doesn't even finish the question.

Bruce shrugs. 'There might not be a lot of humans left. And the ones there are, they keep under strict surveillance and control. Who knows why they won? There could be a thousand reasons summing up to this.'

'They are still behind us, maybe we should hurry?', Thor says to end the nonsensical discussion. He doesn't want to think about anything that might have brought this disaster to them all, if his friends are all dead in this universe and if that is the reason the Chitauri had looked at them like this. Even if they had died and aren't currently searched for enemies of the empire, they'd still be in danger. The Chitauri don't seem like people to keep prisoners alive and healthy and they had already mistrusted their Loki. Surely they wouldn't wait to contact their superiors. The fence fortunately is already out of sight.

'Thor's right. Let's find that exit.' Steve starts to walk faster, edging them on. Behind them the whirring noise of their flying vehicles sounds across the barren ground. Thor doesn't has to turn back to see the Chitauri having gotten on their track, and follow them now, probably by order of someone higher than them who now knows they are here. If they are to capture the Avengers or kill them directly because they are imposters, Thor doesn't want to find out.

'Fuck.', Stark curses rather loudly.

'Run.' Steve doesn't turn around either but he instructs them to flee while he stands still to delay the troops if he can, injured as he is. Thor spins around and hurls Mjolnir at them, their only real weapon for the moment.

It knocks two of the hideous creatures down from their vessels. The others hadn't run but stood their ground as well. They'd go down together. Thor tries to estimate the chances of getting the others out of here when the Chitauri stop advancing and stare at them as if waiting for an order.

'Thor.'

The snarl goes right through Thor. He turns around to face the familiar voice, only to find an unfamiliar face. Loki's face is contorted into a masque of hate and anger, his eyes pierce him, his hands are curled around a blue glowing scepter as if he tries to keep himself from strangling Thor immediately. Briefly the blue eyes flit to the other Loki, his Loki, and confusion mirrors on both their faces.

'What trickery is this?', the scepter-Loki asks with a frown firmly edged onto his face. When his eyes meet Thor's again, his mouth puckers up in disgust. 'I have no idea how you survived that but I'll make sure this is the last time I have to see you, brother.' He spits out the last word as if it would leave a foul taste in his mouth.

'Loki. Brother. I-' Thor can't string the words together. He steps forward to meet his little brother.

The wrong Loki's gaze lands on the other Avengers, more confusion clouds his face. 'What is this supposed to be? When they told me they had spotted you, I didn't believe them. I didn't know you'd drag your whole little team of misfits back to the living.' The wrong Loki starts to circle him. 'Seeking to distract me by,', he waves his hand in Thor's Loki's direction, 'that, and I have to admit it's a rather admirable trick, and though I never would have thought you to come up with something this clever, it won't help you.'

A mad cackle leaves the ravenette's throat. Thor feels helplessness creeping in on him. This can't be true, not ever. He swallows back his frustrated tears and raises his hammer to answer the inevitable blow his wrong brother would eventually deal out. Such rage and such hate he had never seen on his Loki's face nor does he ever will should the Norns grant him that. Though that's not true entirely. Back then, on the flying vehicle that brought the shell of Loki and him to the Helicarrier, Loki's face had looked similar betrayed and mad. But this time he seems betrayed of Thor's death.

'What went wrong?', he whispers, not understanding the situation he is in. Fortunately Thor doesn't expect an answer for he doesn't get one. Before he is forced to fight his husband, his real husband knocks the wrong Loki back. The flash of magic also distracts the Chitauri as well. They must be confused as to who their true leader is with both of them being able to perform magic.

Thor continues to stare at the ravenette on the ground. Loki grabs his wrist and drags him behind the others who are now running away from their enemies. He knows the other Loki will get back up in no time and they will follow them. Steve tries to keep up with them, being supported by Tony, and Natasha hangs between Bruce and Clint.

Thor isn't sure if he can raise Mjolnir to hurt his brother even if only to save them all from his wrath, when the decision is made for him.

There is a bright flash. Their group is surrounded by the unsettling myriad of doors again, the bleak building which had housed them for the past weeks. Has it been weeks? Have their family and friends already stopped searching for them?, Thor wonders briefly before his attention is refocused on the situation at hand.

'That much for resting.', Tony mutters darkly. He still supports the wheezing Steve and guides him down to the ground.

Loki sighs. 'At least we have new provisions.'

'At least we have new provisions?! Are you fucking kidding me?!', Tony exclaims. 'We were attacked by.. well, you! The fuck was that?' He also rests his back on the wall, the anger still bubbling beneath the surface.

'We need to find that stone and prevent that', Loki points at the door, 'from ever happening.'

'And in our hands it would be safe? Sure.' Steve snorts. 'I don't trust myself, I know enough about myself to know that much. And if you are stupid enough to not fear what you might do with the power to alter the universe..' Steve shrugs.

'And in Thanos' hands it's better off? We at least don't seek world domination.' No one mentions that they had seen Loki craving just that moments ago.

'You said you can get us out of here.', Thor reminds Loki. The ravenette sighs. 'I assume you want to use the Aether to do that.' Loki nods.

'It is the only way. With it I can possibly get the Convergence to open up the veil home again.', he admits.

'This is what he is planning? This is what would have happened? The domination of the human race and and the final destruction of Earth.', Steve asks, frowning.

'Expand that to the whole universe and you might get an idea.' Loki sinks to the ground and leans on the wall, dropping his head against it to stare up at the high ceiling.

'Well, we can't let him.', the blond states. 'Are you sure it's not safe here?'

Loki shrugs. 'We came here. If there is a way, he'll find it. Plus should he get his hands on the Tesseract, this place wouldn't stay hidden from him much longer. With the Reality Stone, taking over the universe would just be one step away. We don't know if he hasn't got his hands on the Power Stone yet. With it the extinction of trillions would be just one thought away for Thanos. He'd be supreme leader and we would think that is totally normal.'

'First we have to get away from here, then we can talk about stopping that maniac.', Clint says.

'And for that, my friend, we will need the Aether.

xXxXx

They sit down where they just came out from after marking the door.

'What is that?', Bruce asks, frowning deeply. He stares down the corridor. Thor follows his gaze, seeing still at least a dozen doors separating them from the end of the corridor before they would have to turn around and start to investigate this side's doors and those further down from where they came from. But that is not what caught Bruce's attention. One of the last doors stands open, that much is clearly visible from their resting place.

The scientist stands up, followed by his friends and crosses the distance to the phenomena. Thor grips Mjolnir, knowing this can't possibly mean anything good. The others are anxious as well and move closer with care.

Thor overtakes them and sneaks closer until he can peer into what is beyond. The door opens to the other side so he stands directly in front of it before he can see what is behind it.

The room with a high ceiling is completely empty.

He lowers Mjolnir and turns to his friends. Thor shrugs. 'It's empty.' Loki comes closer to take a look as well. He enters the room to see if anything is beyond the door but nothing happens except that the ravenette enters an empty room.

'Why is it open?', Tony asks.

'The spell isn't working here. Or..', he stops suddenly and doesn't end his sentence. The walls seem to be closer all of a sudden and Thor has to suppress the urge to rush outside just to see the sky which he knows is just as depressing.

'Someone or something came out?', Natasha asks for confirmation. 'Is that even possible?'

'It doesn't matter.' Loki briskly leaves the room but doesn't close the door. They all look around for something lurking in the shadows. The corridors are empty and silent though as if to spite them. The light is brightening the hallway so nothing can sneak up on them for the moment. 'We need to concentrate on the Reality Stone, not on something that could be a mere flux in its range.' He walks back to their last door.

'We should rest. But I'd feel better if we place a watch here.', Steve says. They walk a little further down to the alcove, Steve reasons it's easier to defend. Though this reasoning makes the others uncomfortable, they agree.

'Can you try to find it?', Clint asks. 'The stone, I mean.'

Loki looks up from where he had been staring at the floor. They had started to reach around some of the food and had eaten mostly in silence. 'I am trying but it's nothing like the Tesseract. There are no traces, the whole place is brimming with magic but it must be in this .. structure. There are no doors apart from these in front of us in the Citadel. The time is against us but there is nothing I can do. I took a look around some nights ago, there is no trace of it anywhere, it must be behind one of the doors.', he deduces.

Steve sits closest to the opening towards the hallway, peaking into each direction every now and then.

'So we just try on good luck?' Tony asks. Incredulousness is laced through his words. 'There are hundreds, thousands of worlds.' Thor can tell the mortal's hopes to get out of here sink considerably.

'It could be a defense mechanism to protect it from just being taken.', Loki reasons. 'And I am sorry but I fear that's also the only way out of here.'

'How are we supposed to say which is the right world? We could walk past it on our way out of it.', Steve objects. 'We know nothing of the Aether's workings, right?' He waits for Loki to shake his head, then the blond sighs. 'I guess we don't have much of a choice.'

'No, we don't.', Tony mutters. 'We should rest a few hours, then we can discuss this matter further. I don't get attacked by my friends every day.'

Thor looks down to not reveal his own feelings on that matter. What wrong could he have done to his brother to have deserved such hate? Loki puts a hand on his arm, then slides down to the ground to rest. The last night he hadn't slept though he had pretended for Thor's sake. The blond had held him close, felt him shiver despite the heat. Now Loki's head rests on his thighs. Thor leans back as well, knowing he wouldn't find sleep anyway.

The rest of the Avengers lies down to get some sleep as well despite the light. Thor assumes most of them hadn't found much sleep after their discussion and the revelation that there could have been a world which they failed to keep safe. Then the shock to find one of their friends attacking them had taken the last of their energies from them.

Steve stays awake as well. 'Don't get me wrong, but this is even stranger than waking up in the future.'

Thor huffs. 'It isn't an everyday occurrence for an Asgardian either, my friend.', Thor whispers back to not wake the sleeping Loki. 'I have the feeling I am going crazy.'

Steve nods, forlorn in his thoughts. 'I am not sure if we will survive this. I thought once I would die in the ice, alone and far away from anything I knew. Now I feel like that again. Just this time I can't lie my life down for the sake of the world, I can only try to protect the people I love for as long as possible.'

Silence settles heavily between the two blonds. Sometime later Thor closes his eyes to rest them a little but he doesn't fall asleep. After an hour or two he carefully disposes Loki's head and beds it on his backpack, then motions Steve to sleep a little. He needs his strength so his injuries can heal.

When the sun sets and neither of them wakes, Thor just stays as a guard and makes no move to force them to stand up. When the light vanishes completely, there is a strange noise Thor at first can't place. The scrape of claws on the stone floor sounds through the silence. Thor peers out into the corridor but can't see anything, it is far too dark already.

'Loki!', he hisses into the dark which suddenly seems all encompassing. He hears his own breathing, the pawing having stopped the second he whispered.

Thor flinches violently when a cold hand touches his arm. He barely suppresses the scream that want to leave his throat. For a second he believes it could be whatever is sneaking around out there.

'It's me.' The whisper comes from the dark, then a flame blinds the blond for a moment. Loki crouches in front of him, holding an inflamed stick from one of the dead plants from Midgard in his hand. 'What is it?', he whispers to not wake the others.

'Wake them.', Thor says. 'There is something out there.'

Loki looks doubtful but be nods and presses the improvised torch in Thor's hands and quietly wakes the others, trusting Thor's instincts. The blond listens for further sounds but apart from his waking friends the silence isn't broken again.

'I heard something.', he tells them as soon as they are all sitting around a bigger fire on which Thor insisted. 'There is something out there.'

'And what is that supposed to be?', Clint asks, shaking his head.

Thor shrugs uneasy. 'I don't know. It was dark, I saw nothing.'

'I don't know, maybe you fell asleep.', he says, crossing his arms. He had been fast asleep when Loki woke him and he is still rather grumpy about the abrupt interruption of his rest.

'What are you insinuating? I didn't sleep.', Thor growls. Two nights awake in a row start to take their toll. He feels his temper rising though he knows it is important to keep a cool head.

Clint opens his mouth for another vicious remark but Loki stops him. 'It doesn't matter, Clint. Maybe there was something, then I don't want to meet it. And if not, then there is still no reason for us to waste more time. Let's get moving.' He nods towards the blackness of the corridor and begins to pack everything that is lying around into the bags.

Thor glares in Clint's direction but the heat is lost. He takes a deep breath, then shoulders the bag and heads out with the others. Loki extinguishes the fire, dipping the alcove in darkness.

xXxXx

The worlds get more crazy with each turn. Tony stopped counting how many alternative universes they had seem after reaching number eighty-three. It's pointless anyway with how many doors still await them.

They had just left some swamps from what Loki claimed to be Svartalfheim not destroyed by the Jotnar. Tony begins to understand a part of Malekith's fury and why he sought revenge when no one could stop this madness.

The injuries of Natasha and Steve had healed well, the woman would always keep a scar to remind her of this place, Steve had fully healed within three weeks. Taking the trips slower had given them time and strength to heal. Often the group had stayed in a peaceful world longer than strictly necessary. Not just once though the team had thanked the heavens or whatever deities the others worship for their provisions from Earth though they are nearly depleted by now. They had restocked them with whatever they could find in the other worlds, Loki fortunately is very skilled in herb lore and knows which plants are edible for whom.

'The next door?', Tony asks them all with a half-earnest smile. It had been exciting to see new worlds and to explore them. He had tried to keep that scientific curiosity alive though he thinks they can all tell how fake his bravado is by now.

'The next.', Steve rather sighs than says. Tony takes a deep breath, then opens the next door. The bright flash blinds him momentarily, then the dry air almost chokes him. Tony coughs like the rest of the team when the wind brings fine dust to them. The sun is burning down onto them and the sandy desert around.

There are ruins but they are almost worn down, just a few bigger boulders indicate that something big must have been here once. Tony sheds his jacket because of the heat and pulls up the t-shirt to cover his mouth and nose to not breathe in any more sand than necessary. The wind gets a little better and stops blowing dust into their faces.

All at once turn to their right and head towards the invisible exit. None of them wants to stay in this place any longer than necessary. Wherever they are, this is not a friendly place. Though what could erase an entire civilization like this? They hadn't left on their own accord, that much seems clear to Tony. He can't help but think of a dozen scenarios, each more terrible than the last.

He hears Loki curse silently. Tony looks back to find him crouched over some of the rubble but he stands quickly, wipes his hands and catches up with their group. Thor looks at him with a frown, apparently not knowing what that is about either.

'Let's get out of here, now.', Loki suddenly urges them on.

'What did you see?', Tony asks interested. Loki had seemed just as interested in this world a few moments ago, ready to at least explore a bit of it. This sudden change of moods can't possibly mean anything good. But what caused it? Did he find the cave of a dangerous animal he doesn't tell the team about? Or is it the world they can't possibly survive in for a long time?

'Nothing. Let's just go. I want to be gone as fast as possible.' When Tony attempts to walk back the few yards to see what Loki had been staring at, the latter holds him back with an iron grip on his arm. 'Don't.', he whispers almost too quiet for Tony to hear.

'Why? What is there? Where are we?', he asks, not being able to decide which information is the most valuable. It must be important to Loki so it must be something they should all know about.

'It doesn't matter.' He looks up into the sky and around as if he is expecting an attack at any moment. 'We need to leave, right now, Stark. Don't try my patience.'

'Loki, where are we?' The Captain gets involved. Tony takes a look around when Loki lets go of him. The conversation around him almost drowns out.

'You don't want to know, just let it be, Steve. We need to go.', Loki insists. There aren't a lot of reasons for Loki to react like this. And only one reason to be this adamant. Bile rises in Tony's throat when realization dawns on him, when his eyes land on something he recognizes.

'Tell us where we are.', Clint demands. Tony stumbles but Loki catches a hold of his arm once more, steadying him this time. 'Stark, what is it?'

'Tony? Where are we, Loki?', Steve leans in to check on the brunet man.

'We're home.', Tony manages to whisper. The reality comes crashing down with these words. He sees the rubble and sees past it, sees the skyscrapers that caused them, sees the streets that connected them, sees the people walking, busy with their daily lives.

Steve frowns, Tony barely sees him. He takes a deep breath and stops leaning on Loki for support.

'We're on Earth.', Loki says quietly as Tony walks towards some of the debris to take a closer look. 'In -' Tony hears him hesitate. 'New York.'

'How is this possible?', Steve asks just when Clint exclaims, 'You knew it all the time.'

'I didn't. Well, I did. But not what version this is.' Tony turns again towards them. Loki licks his lips. 'This is ..' He briefly closes his eyes as if to block out the truth. 'I saw some of Clint's arrows. That's when I realized in what version we are.'

'Thanos? He did this? Or is this what the bomb caused?', Tony asks, having to know.

'Both I fear. There is a lot of radioactivity in the air still, and there are no living creatures anywhere near.', Loki elaborates finally.

'That bomb destroyed Manhattan? And killed a million people in it's wake.', Steve more states than asks.

Clint shakes his head, too dazed by this situation. 'Something must have survived.' He is right, Tony thinks. Cockroaches, rats, anything.

'But it didn't. There is no life here, not just no humans and no plants, but no life. Neither can I feel any pull from any of the other dwellings anywhere near here. I should be able to feel it now that we aren't surrounded by millions of people anymore but there is nothing. Just an endless silence. As if the life was wiped from the world's surface.', he contemplates in distress. Tony walks away from the group agitated. That's when he spots it.

'He annihilated us. Look what I found.' Angry Tony kicks the piece of metal hidden away under a thick layer of dust. The round, once colorful shield rolls a few yards over the ground with a metallic chiming noise.

Steve stares at it for what could be an eternity. His blue, white and red shield had somehow survived the breaking down of society. Well, if that isn't irony, Tony thinks bitterly. Everything ends and what's left of them is nothing more than a pile of dirt and a crappy shield with a terrible paint job. Steve slowly walks towards his old companion and picks it up. The paint is mostly gone, just a few streaks of red and blue are left. He looks at it for some seconds, sadness written all over his face before he stands up, proud and tall.

'Let's get out of here.', he says with determination, gripping his new found, old shield a little harder. What would Tony not do for a little piece of his armor but he can guess what the sand around them would have done with any of his circuits and doesn't really want to see any of that tragedy.

Had there really been only such a small chance of winning this battle? It would seem so for they had only seen destruction and the death of millions. Tony had known they were almost helplessly outnumbered but that they were fighting a losing battle? Until now the victory of the good had seemed like the only possible outcome. Truth is, they were just lucky. Truth is, once they would go home there is no guarantee that home doesn't look like this by now.

'The hero is back.', Tony mutters gloomily.

'Tony.' Steve takes him to the side. 'Don't you understand? You're a hero as well. You did what no one else could. You prevented all of this from happening. You saved our Earth. This happens if you don't.' Tony frowns slightly but nods. It's not really true, he is no hero, he's selfish and he's no team player. Nevertheless he nods.

He looks around, then readjusts the strap of his backpack. 'Let's just get out of here.' The sight makes him sick.


	50. Chapter 48 What Will Never Be

What Will Never Be

 _You are stuck with me till the world falls to pieces, and if we're not still standing  
even then we'll still find a way to be together…  
Ottilie Weber, End of the Line _

There is a slight breeze around them, the wind carries the fresh scent of flowers as sweet and familiar as Thor had never beheld before. He barely dares to open his eyes, fearing the illusion to evaporate. The sweet fragrances creep through the warm summer evening air, leaving a lasting impression on Thor's mind. When the blond finally opens his eyes, he finds his home in front of him just like the last time he had seen it.

They had landed in the middle of Frigga's garden amidst the red blossomed bushes she is so fond of. Thor takes another deep breath to enjoy the tranquility of the evening that had already settled over Asgard. Some rather large trees obscure the vision of the city but the high palace walls in front of them are easily recognized. The summer is waning but the heat that still tenants the garden is left from one of the last warm days of the year. For a moment Thor entertains the thought that his wish for going home has come true. That the past weeks, the past eternity had been a mere dream, but a look to his right confirms that his team mates are with him.

'This is Asgard.', Bruce immediately recognizes the landscape as he had spend much time away from the scurrying of the wedding in this solitude.

'Are we back? Is this our universe?', Clint asks with a glint in his eyes. He looks around now with more interest. Steve lowers his shield as there is no danger to face.

'No' Loki is the only one who doesn't look thrilled at the prospect of having reached the heart of knowledge of the nine realms. 'We should leave as soon as the sun is down completely and then hope no one sees us.'

'Loki, don't you realize? We're in Asgard. We can go to the library and you can find a solution for this thing. We can ask Mother or Father for advise.' Thor can't understand his lack of interest and enthusiasm.

'And, pray tell, how do you expect them to react? How would you explain? Please Thor, think for one moment.', he almost hisses. 'You are brash, here you could possibly be even worse. And even if not, you are one to hit first, then ask questions. How would you react if a different version of you and me were to cross our threshold and claim to be the original? You would bash their heads in because you would think it a trick, something terrible, an attack, whatever. And to to honest, I probably wouldn't react much different.'

Thor looks down, a frown firmly edged on his face. This does actually sound a lot like him, Thor has to accept the validity of Loki's argument, though he doesn't like it. This had seemed like the perfect opportunity to find a way out of the hell they are trapped in. His high spirits because of his mother's garden evaporate almost instantly.

'Then what will we do?', Thor asks. He just wants to be gone from this whole environment he enjoyed mere seconds past. He is more homesick than ever before. He misses the life he used to have not a few months ago, his family, the easiness with which he would start each new day, knowing and praying it would be the same as the one before, with his mother and father in the throne room, with their advise a question away, with a tranquil and content Loki at his side, with his friends on the training fields and on Midgard, where they belonged and Thor could see them any time he liked. An easy world, an easy wish, which is still impossible to ever reach again. He had wanted revenge on Thanos, still wants it, and now it is palpable, it is being forced on them to take actions for which none of them is ready. Thor has no means to realize the extent this will have on any of their lives nor does he think he would welcome such knowledge. Thanos has set his eyes on them, Thor knows that none of them is truly safe, but to take active steps against someone as powerful as the Mad Titan is, that is another matter entirely.

'We should stay here, quiet as we can. It would do no good to be detected.', Loki says. 'Someone could recognize us and tell on our little group.'

They sit down on a bench at the furthest end of the orchard so no one would see them from the palace. Since they had just ate their breakfast in the Citadel, they occupy themselves with the wonderful, quiet nature around them and don't talk much. Thor peeks between the bushes to at least catch a glimpse of the city. The view is splendid. It looks just like their reality. The houses are of white stone for the most part, they glow in the evening sun which still radiates heat though in the shade it starts to get moist and chilly.

Two arms encircle his midsection as Thor stands there, watching the city passing a quiet evening. Some of the noise drifts up but it is stifled by the hedges. Thor turns half to look Loki in the eye, resting his forehead for a second against the cooler one, then both of them look out onto their home which is so close and could still be a thousand miles away for all they care. Some of the last sunbeams plunge the city in orange light.

They withdraw as soon as the sun has set though the light is still sufficient, and ready themselves to creep through the palace as soon as everyone would be asleep. Thor chats in a low voice with Steve when Loki tells them to be quiet. And really, there is someone calling from somewhere near the entrance. They are up in a second and hide between some trees so they would be invisible even should the person enter the garden. The calling comes closer, then stops and they only hear the steps coming closer.

A woman with long dark wavy brown hair comes into view. She is almost as tall as Thor and looks away from them, apparently looking for someone in the gardens. Loki wants to draw him back into the shadows but Thor knows it matters little. She would hear the rustle of the leaves so he opts for not moving at all. When she turns, Thor's heart skips a beat. One of her eyebrows rises, she crosses her arms in front of her chest. He feels Loki freeze next to him as well when his gaze lands on her.

'Friends.', she greets them with a smile, then turns with a more solemn expression to Thor. 'Thor.' Her face breaks into a mad grin when she sees his flabbergast face. 'Where have you been?', she asks quietly when pressing a kiss on his cheek. Thor is still too shocked to do anything except stare at her.

'Elena.', he whispers.

'We've been looking for you all over the place. Why are you hiding here?' She looks to his friends. Thor feels Loki shift uncomfortable next to him. He himself can't find it in him to even close his mouth and stop gaping at Elena. He cannot answer her question, can't lie, can't cover for them. She turns to Loki, apparently not really expecting him to answer. 'Thanks for finding him. We're already late. I didn't think you'd need that long to retrieve your friends.' Smiling she shakes her head.

Loki nods and doesn't divert his gaze from her as if she is an apparition that would vanish the second lost from sight.

'You got that strange look again. Where were you?' Elena narrows her eyes and looks for signs of lies on their faces. 'Where did you drag them again, Stark?'

'Nowhere, really.' Tony tries a charming smile as Thor and Loki refuse to say something. 'And even if, they are grown men, aren't they?'

Elena laughs shortly, a wide grin stays on her face when she shakes her head. 'I do not believe Ms Potts would be very enthralled to hear that. Anyway, you're late. We should go.' She turns back to Thor and takes his hand to drag him towards the palace.

'Late for what?', Thor hears himself ask.

She laughs. 'Surely you jest? You would lose your head if it weren't attached to your neck.' Elena shakes her head, apparently not expecting anything else. 'Come on, your coronation may wait for you but surely you wouldn't want everyone to wait.' She tugs at his hand to get him into the palace.

His feet refuse to work. If he moves, Thor thinks, the spell would surely break and reveal this to be no more than a strange dream. It is impossible for her to stand here right in front of his eyes and move and laugh and live. His brain refuses to process this information. The touch is surreal. With what naturalness she holds his hand, she speaks to him, with what grace she moves as if she had never ceased doing it. A sadness he long had thought left behind, resurfaces. Thor wonders for a moment about her place here but stops immediately, knowing who she must be for his this-world self. His cheek still burns from the contact of her lips.

'What is it?' Elena hasn't let go of Thor's hand when she turns around to look into his eyes, to inquire why he doesn't follow. Her smile slowly falls as she sees something in his eyes that hadn't been there the last time she fancies watching them. Thor feels her probing his mind, ever so slightly, and grants her access. She merely sees his present thoughts before drawing back, taking her hand with her. 'You're not..'

'No, we're not your friends, nor the people you know.' Thor confirms, his voice hoarse. There is no need to lie to her, she would find out anyway. If there is one person who would not only believe them but also may help, it's her. 'We're from an alternate reality.'

She nods, looking away from them for some moments to regain her composure, Thor assumes. 'You're not supposed to be here, how did you leave your universe? And why?' As expected she wastes no time in questioning his words.

Thor's eyes flit down to where a sword is fastened on her belt. 'We're trying to get back and save it.'

'I do not believe we have what you seek for.' Elena turns back and frowns. 'I am dead, right? Don't deny it, Thor. We both know you're a terrible liar. I saw your look. Don't tell me, I don't want to know.' Elena raises her hand as if to stop him from saying something not meant for her ears. She takes a deep breath as to stay calm and composed. 'Alright, the others can't see you. Are you in need of anything?' She carefully evades looking at Thor and Loki.

'No, we're fine.', is Loki's short answer. He doesn't veil his regret anymore.

'Provisions should be in order. I'll organize something. Weapons?' A quick glance over their group makes her nod. 'I better go now. You're safe here, just don't leave the garden. The palace will be up and about till the early morning hours. You wouldn't be able to leave unseen.', she warns them before retreating. 'I will come later. Rest while you can.' With that she leaves, a deep frown still embedded on her forehead.

'"No, we're fine"? The hell is wrong with you?', Stark exclaims the second the silence and serenity of the gardens had settled down on them again.

Loki doesn't react like he normally would by hissing some warning back at the mortal. 'Just be quiet, Tony.' His voice is distant and silent, almost drowned out by a slight rustle of the leaves overhead of them. The night envelops them, just the lights of the palace brighten the gardens at this time of day.

'Who is she?', Bruce asks after giving the two Asgardians time to process things properly.

Loki sighs, then finally turns to their friends along with Thor. 'Elena. She's from Alfheim. A powerful sorceress and capable warrior, highly dangerous if she has a grudge against you.' Loki licks his lips. 'We knew her since our childhood. She and Thor were..' He makes a wavy hand gesture. 'One day the message of her death reached Asgard. We found out years later that that was not the whole truth.' Loki looks to the sky, seeking help from the bright stars. 'She had been taken to no one knows where, captured and sold.' The others are shocked by such a revelation and don't know how to react. 'She died years later, before we even found out about the slavery. Odin wanted to spare us the details.'

'He knew she was lost for us.' Thor stares ahead to were his lover of old times had vanished. He becomes painfully aware of Loki sitting right next to him. Loki had also been friends with her a long time ago. They had, together with the warriors three and Sif, prowled the forests around Asgard, hunting first imaginary beasts, later forged friendships that weren't meant to die as time passed. Thor remembers kisses exchanged in the secludedness of the forest, soft touches and long conversations. 'I am sorry.', he whispers as quiet as he is capable of. Thor takes a hold of Loki's hand, to feel he is still there and real. 'I am sorry to cause you such pain. That I can't promise I would have chosen you in every world when I get constant proof that I wouldn't. I know I would have married her eventually. Father was delighted about that union. She was a lot like you. Sharp, not easily impressed, durable, able to put up with me.' Thor puts an arm around Loki's shoulder and pulls him closer until their foreheads touch. 'I am glad we didn't have to suffer through this, I am glad to love you and I do not regret the turn of events.'

'Just forget it, Thor. It's alright. It's not that I treated you right in every universe.', Loki says, connecting their lips to a quick kiss.

'Will she tell on us?', Steve asks. He glances towards where Elena had vanished to, a little frown on his face.

Thor shakes his head. 'No, she wouldn't. She's more considerate about matters like this. She just poses a threat for us if we should give her a reason for it.' At least he hopes so. They retreat to the back of the garden, trusting Elena to have sealed off the gardens for now but not wanting to stay too close to the palace in case someone would see them here. The festivities inside the palace are audible and get louder by the minute.

It is way after midnight though the time seems to pass in a haze for Thor, when Elena steps back into the garden and begs them to follow her. Thor is looking nervously around, ready for someone whom she isn't expecting to see them and bust their whole charade but the corridors are empty.

They reach a side chamber of the royal wing, Elena ushers them in. The rooms are lush decorated and spacious. 'These are my personal chambers.', she informs them when Loki looks doubtful. 'I organized some food, so if you are hungry..' Elena motions to the side where there is a small buffet build up.

By now their little group is hungry and glad to accept such an offering. Thor shovels some food to his plate without really caring what it is. His eyes are on Elena, still not able to comprehend how this is possible. The rooms are nice, and here and there he makes out details that aren't her influence like a pair of decorative swords he had wielded in his youth. Several sofas are placed near the fire place, big bookcases complete the inventory.

'Are you alright?'

Thor startles when the resident of this chambers suddenly stands right next to him. He shrugs when the words fail him. What is he supposed to answer anyway? We're stuck in what feels like a never ending limbo in which every reality reveals how me and Loki separate? I am happy with my life with Loki by my side? I miss you sometimes as a friend?

'Thor- I mean, my Thor is out for the night along with Loki. You need not worry that someone will disturb us here.' Elena offers him a smile.

She sits down opposite from the Avengers, having also a plate in front of her. She looks completely at ease with this situation. 'Where do you need to go?'

Loki takes a deep breath. They had talked about this earlier, the exit has to be outside of the city. 'To the western forest.'

A small frown appears on her face. 'And what is there?'

'A way home. Maybe.' He quickly tells her about the Citadel but Elena had never heard of it before. She remembers the Midgardians getting in contact with three infinity stones a while back but surely nothing and no one from the other end of the galaxy cared about that or even knows.

'What are you eating there?' Loki stares at Elena with confusion and not so veiled disgust.

Elena looks down to her plate which is a disturbing mix of sweets and bacon. Then she shrugs. 'Lady Eir said cravings are to be expected.' Thor's brain stops working again. His eyes flit to her yet unnoticeable belly.

'You're..' Even Loki is lost for words. 'Congratulations, Elena.'

'Thanks.' She is obviously uncomfortable with this as she briefly looks away. 'I thought you could use some new garments. Yours seem a little worn.' They become aware of the state of their dirty clothes, especially compared to her ceremonial dress the difference becomes painfully apparent. They are so used to not be watched too closely or to actively evade others. She also got a bunch of weapons for them including some daggers for Loki, a bow for Clint. 'I am sorry for not being able of more help.', Elena says after everyone got dressed. Their old clothes they keep in case Asgardian armor would be too much. Thor recognizes his as an old armor of his. 'We should get moving, the servants will be up soon.'

Truly, there is already the softest shimmer of light blue in the east. In silence they leave the palace and head for the western forest, fleeing from the light. The Avengers pull the hoods far down into their faces to stay incognito.

'Alright, this is where I will leave you.', Elena suddenly states. They hadn't even reached the forest, only the first trees begin to grow around them on the pastures. They are far away from the city already, the light having claimed a big part of the horizon already.

Loki seems to hesitate for a second before damning his indecisiveness and hugging her. The brunette doesn't seem to mind and hugs him back tightly. 'Thank you for everything.'

'You're welcome, Loki.' He whispers something else but the words are lost to Thor.

The others bow in her direction and bid her goodbye. When it is Thor's turn, he hesitates as well. 'Would you mind..?' He points at the forest. Loki casts him a wary glance but nods and the rest of their friends follow him to give Thor and Elena some space.

'It's strange. I look at you and see my husband. And yet, you are so different.', she says when they are alone. Elena sighs. 'You and Loki?'

He nods. A small frown enters her face again as she processes the information. She must have seen how they interacted, or noticed their glances. 'I missed you for a long time.' Thor stops, unsure of what to say next. So he merely steps closer and embraces her. First he presses his nose to her hair. It's like being catapulted back for centuries. It's like she is still there and not lost.

Elena draws a little back to look at him. 'Good luck, Thor.'

Following an impulse Thor leans down and presses their lips together. Elena doesn't fight but leans into the kiss. It still feels as it did in their youth. He holds her closer, not wanting to part with this part of his past just yet but eventually Elena turns her head away.

'Thor.' Her eyes shine with unshed tears. He gets her warning and draws back, turning around to follow his friends.

With one last glance back, he smiles sadly. It's time to let go. 'Farewell, Elena.'

xXxXx

Tony doesn't even dare to open his eyes when he finally feels solid ground under his feet again. He stopped counting how many worlds they had crossed on their way to this desolate island of an universe and he wouldn't start again. Long time he had thought that Afghanistan had been the worst episode of his life, then it had been that awful wormhole but, oh how wrong he had been. This makes him regret for the first time that he gave up his comfortable playboy life and decided to fight for the good in the world.

Tony had been right about his doubts of him being able to wake up each day in another world, to be constantly threatened with death without being able to do a thing about it. Without his suit he is of no much use except for his mind, and he has the feeling that what he knows is of little consequence in these ever-changing universes and parallel dimensions which are so unlike anything he had ever dreaded to see. He had seen the death of his world, frozen wastelands, friends that are lost, every horror scenario he could ever picture. The last time he had a good nighttime sleep he can't remember. It must have been pretty long though since he obviously must have bad hallucinations by now, otherwise the things he had seen are barely explainable.

The last world (or was it the one before that?) they had again been attacked by some hideous goblin like creatures who had kept crawling out of the crevices in the ground. Having to defend oneself and one's best friends with the rocks lying on the ground and hitting those creatures with sticks, can leave scars. The good Captain had his shield, Thor his hammer, Bruce his losing it, Loki got his magic, the assassins had been trained in all kinds of combat skills, no one needs a genius with a tendency for self-destruction. He can build weapons of just about anything, he had proven so often enough, but even he has his limits in a world full of rocks.

They are lost in a world none of them has any hope of understanding. Partly they don't even realize anymore which worlds they step in and actually Tony doesn't care anymore. They hadn't left their universe, the nine realms, and still each time they visit Earth he feels further away from home than ever.

Finally he dares to open his eyes to find some deserted streets in front of him. A deep sigh escapes Tony. Too often this scene had played out before him, what does it matter which world it is. Tony starts looking for stuff to build new weapons from, trying to busy himself and not think of the hopelessness of the situation. As long as his hands have something to do his mind won't wander to things better left alone. He'd do just about anything to get rid of the anxiety in him by now. They would never find the way out of here, out of the Citadel. They'd die, one after the next, it is merely a matter of time. The more time elapses, the more frantic Loki's goose chase after the infinity stone gets, the more fervently he rushes them from one world to the next, trying to postpone the inevitable. Tony had given up hope to find that questionable object long ago but he doesn't mention that to the stressed out Asgardian.

The meeting with Loki's and Thor's old friend from childhood had taken a toll on both of them though they try to pretend that it hadn't. Tony doesn't want to know what he would do should he meet someone of his past he thought dead. But with their luck it would be more than likely that something like that would happen.

Tony thinks he recognizes some Vanir architectonic elements but he doesn't care enough to ask. The others already march off to the west. He takes a moment to look over the remnants of the city, picking up several things he wants to tinker with. Loki had taught him a thing or two about the different plants he could gather in the nine realms, in Tony's free time, which admittedly he had rather a lot now, he had tried new compositions to see what would happen. Tony had found several useful ones. One concoction would ignite the second it got into contact with oxygen, another would form a devilishly hard to get rid off slime that sticks to everything. Perfect for defense or to prank his fellow travelers though Tony has no wish to die so he restrained himself from that latter use.

They reach the exit before the day is over. Tony is quite tired though the trip had been uneventful. Fortunately at least they weren't attacked. Or fried. Or starved. Or.. Tony forgot to count how many different kinds of death their existences were already threatened with.

The well deserved break will have to wait a little still as Loki draws a mark on the floor in front of their last door and the group already shuffles to the next. Two corridors are done, examined, three left with no end in sight. They hadn't dared venture back to one of the doors they had already tried, unsure what they would face. If it would be worse to find the same world again, or to shatter the hope of finding an exit out of the Citadel by finding the worlds ever changing, none of them dares to know. For now, Steve reaches out for the handle, just waiting for Loki to catch up with them.

Since Thor had heard these strange sounds at night, the others had been able to convince themselves that he hadn't imagined them. The noise had returned regularly each night, every time the darkness settles over the Citadel a shuffling and the clicking sound of claws on concrete echoes through the empty corridors, edging closer constantly, and though none of the Avengers had seen what made these sounds, none of them wanted to really find out. They had tried walking towards the sounds but whatever it is, it seems to evade the light and had drawn back, the noises vanished as quickly as they had come. It gives them the creeps, that goes as far as the team decided to not sleep in the Citadel anymore. It is dangerous to enter another world with half of the team drained but none of them wants to encounter whatever lurks in the corners of that messed up place.

Loki gives his okay with a firm nod and the adventure starts anew.

Tony had been whining the last few days about the grumbling of his stomach. After their short episode in Alfheim the group hadn't found any new sustenance between the burned valleys of Svartalfheim that had been taken over by the fire giants and the mountains of Vanaheim. For days they hadn't seen any creature apart from some birds and a lizard. Tony longs for company that isn't, well, a part of this group. If this torture has any pro-side it certainly is that they are forced to work together and get along far better than before. Of course there are still fights, after all they hadn't transformed into different people, but the long evenings in the shine of the fire when they one after the next had came out with the stories of their lives, at least something like temporary peace had settled. None of them had an easy life before he or she joined the Avengers. From spitting out bullets, red rooms, crashing planes, failing expectations, deafening arrows and caves on the end of the world nothing seems to have passed them.

So when Tony is blinking his eyes open and stares straight down a very familiar street, he is shocked more than anything. He looks around to see what had changed but finds nothing big. These are the same buildings, the same strange people passing them without so much as looking at them, the same air, the same Tower.

The Avengers are standing right in front of their Tower. Tony cranes his neck to look up but can see not much apart from the reflecting windows and the underside of his landing stage. The others are shuffling awkwardly, not sure what to do. They have no more food nor much water left and if they aren't exactly planning on stealing the things they need in a city which probably all of them, well their other selves, frequent regularly, they have no means of getting to it. Except..

'Should we risk it? He, well, you could be home.', Clint argues though it doesn't sound convinced.

'So what? I am going in.', Tony states. His stomach wouldn't allow him to ignore the delicious food that waits behind the wide glass doors. That he plans to sneak into the cellar to free one of his suits if possible, he better keeps quiet. For such an opportunity he had waited for the whole time.

'Tony, we should discuss this. Jarvis..', Loki interrupts his thoughts.

'Is programmed to listen to my voice.', Tony cuts him short. 'He won't know the difference. Well, you can stay here, I am going in.' With that said, Tony crosses the remaining distance and pushes open the doors before any of the others can catch up with him or hold him back.

The security chef lifts his hat when Tony passes him. At the elevators the rest of the Avengers catches up with him and they have little choice but to follow him.

'This is reckless.', Steve tells him as soon as the doors are shut. 'You're getting us killed.'

'You didn't have to follow.', he points out.

'No solo missions, we agreed upon that.', the blond forces out between his teeth as the elevator shoots up to the penthouse. That they are all hungry and trust Tony to take his sweet time before coming down again if left unsupervised he leaves unsaid.

'Good afternoon, Mr Stark.' Never had he been more happy to hear the British mechanical voice erupting from the ceiling.

'Hello, Jarvis.', Tony greets him with a big smile.

'Sir, shall I send the Iron Man armor?', Jarvis voice sounds from the speakers some seconds later.

'No need to. Why would I need it?', Tony asks confused.

'Mr Laufeyson appears to be with you in the elevator and force his way into the penthouse.', Jarvis says as if it would be the most normal thing in the world to send his armor because of Loki. Then he reminds himself that they aren't in their universe and Loki could possibly be a threat in this universe. Or could let Tony to believe to be just that.

Tony shakes his head. 'No, it's alright. He's with me.'

'Are you certain, Sir? I could activate the Houseparty Protocol?' Apparently the AI believes Loki to have him under some kind of influence or to have scared him into not calling his help.

'No!' Tony casts a wary glance to the others. 'No, Jarvis. We're fine. No.. no houseparty.', he says just to make sure the AI understands.

Jarvis doesn't sound happy about this development. 'As you wish, Sir.'

The elevator comes to a halt and they leave it. The penthouse had changed dramatically. Or rather it hadn't changed much from its original setup. The view out of the windows is much the same as it is now.

'Houseparty?' Steve raises an eyebrow.

'Shut up.'

Tony heads straight for the kitchen, the others now on his heels. He randomly draws things out of the fridge and hands them behind him. Briefly he wonders who bought so healthy stuff but occasionally he finds things he deems edible. They quickly gobble the food down, then they withdraw into a large room which apparently serves as a living room.

'Let's hope this me is just like me.', Tony announces nonchalantly and wanders over to the bookshelf and draws out a book, looking into the gap that's now there. 'Jackpot.', he says grimly, taking out the cash he himself stashed in that bookcase in the past. 'I am generous, I guess I won't miss it.' Tony shrugs.

'That's great, Stark. Now, let's go.', Loki urges him, taking a look around.

'Relax, Loki. No one's home, we can take a small break.' Tony causally walks around the living room, peaking into every corner. Jay would have informed him and/or his other self by now should the AI suspect.

'Daddy.'

Tony freezes and slowly turns around to find a small boy tucking at his trousers to get his attention. He hadn't even heard the door being opened. 'Hey, buddy.' The boy makes grabby hands and Tony picks him up without thinking about it. He is a little at loss as to what to do now but the little boy seems contented for the moment. He hides his face in the crook of Tony's neck and peers through his fingers to the others.

The Avengers look just as surprised and overwhelmed like him. None of them has any kids or experience as to how to handle this situation.

Tony looks at the kid on his arm and he almost faints. It's like looking into a mirror for some seconds. Chocolate brown eyes and messy dark hair, a slightly tanned skin. He is a perfect copy of a young Tony.

The door still stands open when another familiar figure enters the room. 'Hi. We didn't know you'd come back today.' Pepper grins widely when she lays eyes on him, quickly crossing the distance.

'Pep.'

'You should have called ahead.', she lightly scolds him before placing a timid kiss on Tony's lips. Tony is too shocked to respond correctly. 'Come here, James.' She takes the boy from Tony's arm. 'I didn't know you'd have visitors.'

'Could you- could you-' Tony doesn't know how to phrase the request without sounding rude and suddenly he cares for that. Seeing the child, his child, in Pepper's arms is disturbing.

'Sure, we'll leave you alone. Is anything the matter?', Pepper whispers, a small frown makes its way to her face. She eyes the others warily.

'No, yes. Well, it's nothing bad, Pepper. Don't you worry.', he tries to coax her out of the room so they could vanish in a hurry.

'Isn't he the guy who threw you out of a window?', she asks with a frown, pointing at Loki.

'No, Pep. I mean, yes, sounds like him but it's alright. We're friends now, right, Lokes?' Loki merely shrugs and is no help at all. 'See?' Tony adds with a grin. The boy in Pepper's arms fidget.

'Alright. Say good bye, James.' Being reminded of the strangers in the room, the boy quickly hides again. In his mother's arms. Tony's knees threaten to buckle.

'Let's get out of here.'

They flee the Tower, Tony in horror, the others in fear of being yet discovered. This has been a terrible mistake. They take two taxis to the outskirts of the town. While Barton and Bruce buy provisions in a local shop, Tony stays outside, pacing back and forth behind the supermarket.

'Are you alright?', Steve asks softly.

Tony turns to him with a grin on his face. 'I always am.', he automatically says. Steve forces a smile, opens his mouth as if to say something but shuts it again. Silently he steps forward and pulls Tony into an embrace. The brunet man struggles for a moment before dropping the act and accepting the comfort.

'I am not a dame, Spangles.', he mumbles with a fond smile.

Tony hears Steve chuckle. 'I know.'

xXxXxXx

 **Hello!**

 **Thank you for all the wonderful feedback I got :')**

 **Hope you liked this update but I'd love to hear from you (yes, this is a shout out for reviews, it doesn't even really matter what you write and if it's a :) or a :(, that would totally suffice). The name James because in the comics Tony has a son with that name, Elena because it's Sindarin(?) for 'of the stars' (which is really funny, just you wait). I am sorry for any hard shippers but yes, I am playing with psychology here and that's what Thor somehow wanted to kiss her. He is under a lot of stress, but all of this will somewhen sort out. Hopefully. And I am sorry for hurting Tony as well, he is my favorite character of all time, so yes, hurting him is never really fun but.. I wanted to show him what life there could have been for him.** **Will become important in future chapters.**

 **If you are now asking yourself, why is the Reality Stone just altering the reality of the nine realms and not beyond, I will explain this as quickly as I can. Without the addition of the Power Stone, it's reach is limited to certain parts of the universe and though the effects are usually unlimited, they are not extending to the entire universe. Because it is held in the powerful containment of the Citadel, it is divided into its smaller parts (as seen in Thor TDW) and cannot create entire different universes but just parts of them (hence Loki cannot teleport since there is nothing).**

 **So that is my reasoning why it cannot reach beyond the veil of the nine realms. We will see other worlds at some point, but not just yet.**

 **So that's all there is from my part for this week, as stated above I'd love to hear from you. Until next Saturday!**


	51. Chapter 49 A White Rose

A White Rose

 _He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.  
Friedrich Nietzsche _

Tony pulls a face when he forces the blue berries down.

'Don't be so pathetic, Stark.', Loki admonishes him. He knows that the berries are bitter and that no one eats them free willingly but they are edible and won't kill them. It's all they have left to eat and the hunger will eventually force everything down. It's certainly not Loki's fault that Tony is pretending to never have eaten anything in his life he didn't want and that he can't eat those stupid berries.

Tony scowls but stops complaining and turns away from Loki to look down the corridor. How much time they had spend here, Loki can't recollect. He stopped counting what feels like months ago. The last few worlds had been empty and void of life or maybe they just had been in regions that were uninhabited. Furthermore they are running out of their hard-fought for supplies.

'We should get going.', Steve reminds them. It's the fourth corridor they are in and none of them believes in the theory of the Reality Stone being in one of these worlds anymore. But what else is there to do than to just go on? To hope that someone, anyone, would find them here and take them home, even if that means being back in Thanos' clutches. By now Loki isn't sure if that fate wouldn't be much better, there at least an end would be in sight. The Convergence passed away and there is no chance to go home by teleportation.

After Stark had managed to catch one of those things lurking in the dark, none of them wants to stay any longer than absolutely necessary. Even a deserted Jotunheim in winter is better than staying here a moment longer. They had chosen to stay the night despite their previous experiences because they were tired and exhausted after wandering the fields of a burned Svartalfheim for days and wanted to breathe something else than dusty air for just one night, unsure about what might follow in the next world. Stark had taken the second watch when the sounds had started again. He had have the presence of mind to use one of his improvised weapons and managed to freeze the creature in stone. The team had woken up from the commotion and taken to examine it closer in the daylight which approached quickly enough.

The statue of stone still stands a corridor away. Thor had wanted to smash it but the others were insecure as to what would happen and as long as it didn't move, they would leave it alone.

Loki prides himself with knowing almost all the creatures that inhabit or inhabited the nine realms but what that creature is, he doesn't want to know. It is gruesome, it has long wings with spidery fingers, big jaws and a long body. It gives Loki shivers just thinking about it. It isn't too big but Loki is sure they can do more than look like deformed dragons and make creepy sounds.

They now always sit so they can observe all ends of the hallway. Who knows if daylight will keep them at bay any longer now that they attacked one of these creatures? Maybe it is just a vivid imagination but Loki fancies hearing them waiting for a chance to annihilate the intruders of the Citadel. As to what created them, Loki isn't sure either. Maybe they are watching over the Citadel and the Aether within to make sure no one seizes it, maybe the Aether itself created them to protect itself. Their presence could be a good sign, he tells himself. Or the end of the Avengers.

'Yeah, let's get this over with.', Tony grumbles. After the incident with Lady Pepper he is more moody than ever, not even bantering with Steve can brighten his mood anymore. Everyone slowly scrambles to their feet, taking their sparse luggage with them.

It's the last door in this corridor, the one furthest away from the center.

'Let's hope for some sunshine. My tan is fading.', the brunet man notes dryly. He seems to be the only one not being tired of talking any more than necessary. Loki rolls his eyes but refrains from chastising him, knowing it's just a waste of energy.

If it are these creatures that make their signs vanish or not, none of them knows. Some weeks ago Loki had went back to one of the first doors they had tried, willing to take the risk of going back to get some food from behind one door where he knew lies Alfheim when he had noticed the lacking marks on the ground. Not willing to visit the wrong world they had gone hungry for another day. Loki is worried about this fact but pushes it from his mind. They can't give up now though he already has. There are more corridors upstairs. The way they had found just very recently because they always had the feeling that there is nothing above the corridors except for empty space given how high the ceilings are. They hadn't dared venture there to really investigate but none of them had seen any doors. The high ceiling in the gallery towers over the group but Loki had forgotten all about the stories above them.

With this thoughts still fresh on his mind, Clint pulls open the door.

A hushed silence falls over the group. Thick mists engulf them, it's impossible to say what lurks behind the wafts of mist. The ground is black and is the only solid thing there is. Some distant shapes are visible but they are slurred and Loki doubts they are even real and not just there in his imagination.

'Where are we?'

The whisper sounds oddly loud in this place. The mist is white against the blackness of this world and though there seems to be no real light, it is enough to see the white wisps rippling in the air.

'I have no idea.', Loki says. His voice is hoarse from the lack of frequent use and he has to swallow a few times before he dares to give such an answer. The air feels strange and suffocating. It is full of ancient magic, so full that Loki can barely breathe.

'Niflheim?', Thor asks, his voice quivers a little. It's evidence enough that he prays to be wrong. The world of mists and shadows they hadn't visited, nor did any of them want to. It's too close to Helheim for any of their liking. Should they enter the realm of the dead, who knows if they could leave again?

Loki shakes his head, unsure if the others can see it. 'We're here.', he whispers. It's barely a sound but the others hear him nonetheless.

None of them dares to move an inch, unsure what lies beyond the veil. The air is humid, making them cough.

'Let's get moving.', Loki mutters. The suspense is killing him.

Steve looks from side to side. 'Where to?' The surrounding looks the same in each direction. Loki shrugs and takes a step forward. The ground feels safe enough and doesn't feel like giving in, so he takes another step.

He reaches the vapor nearest to them and experimentally reaches out his hand. It's cold to the touch, sending shivers down Loki's spine. It feels like a soul had passed him. Maybe in the end they are in Niflheim. This is how he always imagined it to be. Loki turns back to his friends. They still hadn't dared to move and look around with obvious distrust. Thor's eyes are fixed on him.

Loki concentrates and extends his mind with his magic to feel out what this world is made out. The magic of this place thrums through him and almost overwhelms the sorcerer. This is definitely the right place. It feels similar to being around the Tesseract and still distinctly different. The stone is not here completely and the part that is here is still a good distance away. This time he can feel the pull of the Reality Stone, feels where they have to go.

'This way.' Loki turns back to where he had taken a step. The mists seem to be even thicker there as if they are hiding something from view.

'What did you feel?', Thor asks, having recognized the way his magic weaved through the air.

'We're right here but we shouldn't let our guard down. It will protect itself.'

They take each others hands to not lose each because the sight gets worse the further they recede from their original destination. The mists become almost impenetrable. Loki slowly makes his way through the wisps, leading the others with him, and carefully treading the ground, expecting every moment that it will cave in or change its consistence. The mists feel slick when touching the skin, making him shiver.

The darkness intensifies until Loki can see absolutely nothing anymore and is sure the mist is gone as well when for a while there is no wisp reaches for them. The air weighs heavy, it becomes difficult to breathe but because the others don't seem to notice this and are not complaining, it must be because of the intensifying magic in it.

A sudden bright light blinds all of them but it's gone too fast to make out where it exactly came from and what it means.

'What the hell was that?', Stark asks from behind.

Loki has to refrain from the temptation of pressing both the balls of his hands to his eyes to rid himself of the pain and relieve them. He hisses in pain but keeps his hand in Natasha's, also stopping her from letting go. In this darkness they would lose each other in a moment. Loki isn't sure this is even real and not one of his nightmares and that he will lose everyone as soon as he lets go of the warm hand. Maybe the reality could tear, though what the holding of a hand changes about that fact, he can't tell.

'No idea. Has anyone seen anything?', Loki asks. Being the closest to the sudden burst of light had the effect of blinding him more effectively. The darkness is even more impenetrable than before. He cannot see a single contour. Loki turns to Natasha but she is just as part of the darkness as the rest. If it wouldn't be for the quiet noises of the group Loki would already panic. This all-consuming nothingness is too much to take and he begins to tremble slightly.

They aren't in the space between worlds, Loki reminds himself. It does little to calm his nerves. Natasha squeezes his hand in a reassuring way.

'No, I couldn't see a thing.', she says in a firm voice.

'Was the shadow just in my imagination?', Clint asks. He half-jokes about his worries.

'Let's hope.', Loki mutters, looking around though it is useless. He takes a deep breath. 'Don't let go of each other.', he warns them again, then takes little steps forward. Natasha gets the idea and tugs at Bruce's hand which she holds with her other one. Loki edges closer to where he suspects the Infinity Stone is but keeps his distance from where the strange light had blinded them.

'Maybe it was an will-o'-the-wisp.', Tony suggests from the back, expressing his hopes. He tries to sound light and almost succeeds.

'Possible.' Though very unlikely. They are in the gravitation center of the Citadel, where all it's power is coming from for now, where its biggest treasure and secret is hidden.

Loki strains his ears and listens closely to the sounds. There is the constant shuffle of fourteen feet on the hard ground but there is also something else. 'Stop.', he whispers and stands still. The clatter of claws on the ground stops instantly. 'Did you hear that?', he murmurs, listening for the renewed clatter but everything stays quite.

'What?', Clint asks while Steve says, 'Yes.'

'These things are here. Following us.', Thor says grimly. The blond is right, it is the same sound that had haunted them all the nights spend in the Citadel. Whatever these winged monsters are, they are waiting for something. Maybe they want to see where they are going. Then again, maybe they just wait for them to let down their guard and attack them without much of a preamble. Loki doesn't doubt anymore the Reality Stone brought them to life to hunt them down and protect itself from just being taken from its safe home.

'They must have come through the light. Through an open door from the corridors.', Loki deduces in a hushed voice, straining his ears to pick up something beside the breathing of his companions.

'Maybe we can find it.'

'Stark, it's too dark to see one's hand in front of the face. Beside, we want to be here. This might be the only chance to find the stone and go home.', Loki reminds him. 'It seems to know we're here and has summoned its guards. It would change the scenery outside of this world, would change its place. We might never find it again. It can't hide while we are here and can't alter this world. We just have to face whatever dangers it has created and surpass them.'

'Easier said than done.', Clint says. 'How are we supposed to see it in this darkness, anyway?'

'I could try to get some light.', Loki suggests, not really wanting to see what is there around them. 'They already know we are here, so it won't make much of a difference. Can you give me a stick from my luggage, Natasha?'

The red haired assassin lets go of his hand when Loki stretches his arm behind him to grab her shoulder while she tries to extract it from his bag. The small red flames spend them hope though the shine barely reaches the ground. Loki looks back to see he can barely see Clint who is the fourth in their row. He lights another torch. They wouldn't need the wood anymore after this world. Either they'd die trying to reach the stone or they'd succeed and sleep in a real bed this night. They let go of each other now that they can see a little again. Steve takes the other torch and holds it up high. They look behind them but there is no trace of anything on the coal black ground, neither do they get a glimpse of the winged creatures.

Loki tries to peer into the darkness but it is useless. There is probably nothing to see anyway. The darkness swallows the light after less than four meters, their environment is as much a secret as it was before. At least the group can see each other and they aren't dependent on holding onto each other and can cover a much greater distance like this, now that they see the ground and don't expect an obstacle every few meters.

The ravenette takes the lead but there is nothing he can orientate himself by except for his feeling. He draws one of his daggers before he can even think about it but he isn't the only one with anxiety issues. Steve has his shield and holds it up high, Thor clutches Mjolnir, Clint holds the blade they had found for him. Bruce's eyes dart from side to side, ready to defend his friends and himself.

How long exactly they walked in silence through the darkness, none could tell but eventually the ground becomes less level and Loki believes there are things on the sides of their way.

'Did you see something?', Natasha asks.

Loki only now realizes he had stopped all of a sudden. He shakes his head. 'No. It's just.. We might not make it all. And just in case I am not one of those, you need to know how to handle the Reality Stone. To get home.' He swallows hard but forces the words out nonetheless.

Tony gets irritated. 'Stop fucking with us, Lokes. All or none.'

'They are coming closer.', Steve interrupts them. 'What are they?', he asks rather rhetorical.

'Like some watchers and now that one of their friends is a frozen mess, I don't want to know what these fangs and claws are there for. Nor that wings.' Clint shudders. 'They look like bats. Ugly, deformed bats, mind you.'

'Seriously, I mean it, guys.', Loki interrupts them. The clacking of the claws had started again and doesn't stop now that they have reached what must be the next stage.

Steve sighs. 'Is there a chance that one of us could actually wield it?'

Loki hesitates. 'Yes, but not for long.'

Tony huffs and crosses his arms in defiance. 'Do you even know how to wield it?', he wants to know. Loki doesn't answer. 'None of us ever wielded an Infinity Stone. And I am afraid without that knowledge you won't e able to teach us just that.'

The ravenette sighs. 'Just make sure to first let the Aether assemble all of itself. If we leave just a drop behind, someone else could seize it and still destroy the realms. Try to find the point where the Convergence opened the veil between the worlds. You're right, more I can't tell.'

Loki takes the lead again. The shapeless forms aren't just in his imagination anymore. He believes to recognize stone structures. The cold slowly ebbs away and is replaced with dusty, hot air. The darkness fades quickly, like a new day is approaching. All around them there is nothing new to see though. Rocks pile up irregularly across the plain that stretches out before them. The red sky looms above them, the sandy ground beneath them. The desert must stretch out for miles and Loki can already feel his throat constricting.

He sighs. Is this whole thing pointless?, Loki wonders. He looks over his shoulder to where the others are. They had abandoned their torches. The heat is getting to all of them. Somehow the air seems to dry them all out, making it almost impossible to resist drinking down their entire supply of water. The uniformity of their environment doesn't help with the despair. Soon enough they run out of water, he is afraid the mortals won't keep up much longer but Thor also looks like this could be it when they reach a wide river, hidden in a valley. Loki breathes a sigh of relief when the air becomes more humid and the terrible thirst finally vanishes.

'Let me guess, it would be highly unwise to drink that stuff.', Tony notes dryly from the back of the group.

'I wouldn't want to find out.', Clint says. 'How are we supposed to get to the other side?'

The other side of the wide waterbed is blurred and fuzzy, not palpable. This must be a new task.

'I could take us to the other side.', Thor suggests. 'Or we could swim.'

Loki shakes his head. 'We shouldn't separate, especially not here.' He crouches down next to the water and reaches out with his hand. The current is too strong to swim through if the temperature would be even bearable for the Midgardians. Loki concentrates on his ice magic and reaches out. It's harder than he would have expected to freeze a part of the water. The already cold temperature isn't enough apparently. Finally, after his body turned blue already from the exhaustion, little ice crystals start to form a bridge just a few inches above the water flow. The others don't look any more comfortable with this plan than Loki feels but nevertheless, he edges across the ice and motions the others to follow him.

'We should destroy it.', Tony says when they are about halfway across the river. 'So these things won't follow us.' All through the desert they had heard the paws on the rock formations.

'Stark, we're talking about a stone that created all of this.', Loki reminds him.

'Yeah, but it is not sentient.', Tony gives back stubbornly.

'The Tesseract wasn't sentient either. But the Reality Stone created these things following us. I say it makes little difference if we waste our energy on destroying a bridge or of we keep walking.', Loki reasons. 'This river will be probably gone when they catch up. Or the stone will create something else for them to cross it. Don't forget they have wings. The bridge will never help nor its absence hinder them. So let's go.' By now they had reached the other side of the river. Maybe the ice bridge would have melted by the time these things caught up.

Stark grumbles something unintelligible but doesn't argue further. They continue their way in silence. This side of the river looks different, Loki wonders what the next task could be.

The whining, piercing noise is all the warning they get. Within seconds the group is surrounded by at least five of the vultures that had been haunting them the whole day.

The flora had increased since the desert, Loki can't tell how many of these beasts lurk behind the thicket. Running isn't really an option, not now anymore at least. It is the first time Loki can take a close look at the four-legged creatures when they aren't frozen. They move like carnivals, bare their teeth and growl low in their throats as they creep across the dirt path, drawing closer circles around the group that dared tread on their territory. Not all of them are dark gray like the one they caught. Some have lighter shades and heavier bodies, some are much darker, almost black. They also differ in heights and the build of their bodies. Apparently Tony had been lucky enough to encounter a small one. Who could tell if the freezing would have worked on a bigger one.

Without any instructions the Avengers form a tight circle, standing to each other with their backs. Loki holds his daggers one in each hand and waits for the creatures to attack. Stark hands out some of his self built bombs.

The first creature lunches itself at them, the others follow quickly. Loki hasn't got much time to think anymore and can just act by bringing his daggers up quickly enough for his throat to not be slashed.

Natasha throws one of the ice bombs at the advancing creatures. It gets frozen for a moment, then shakes it off in equal time. They have lost their power, Loki realizes. He wonders if any of them can do more than stun them temporarily.

'The stone interferes with them!', Natasha concludes loudly and goes back to fighting with the blade. The freeze had only succeeded in angering the almost pitch black thing. It growls, then throws itself on the woman.

The fight continues, more and more of these things show up. Loki feels the sweat run down his back, feels his muscles getting weaker with every strike of his blades. He doubts any of them can keep going for far longer.

Suddenly as if on cue, the creatures withdraw and are gone in a flash.

'What the hell?', Stark exclaims. He sounds breathless.

Loki tries to catch his breath. 'This is a test.', he forces out.

'What?'

'The stone, it isn't trying to keep us away. I think...' Loki braces himself on his thighs. 'I think it tries our strength in this world. To see of we're the right people.'

'The darkness would have proven no problem for the Dark Elves.', Thor says. 'Neither the desert area nor the river.'

Loki moves his head in the direction of the thicket. 'Nor these things. They know how to fight with a blade.'

'But it's an infinity stone.', Steve shrugs helplessly.

'Yes. But it was once used by them to conquer the nine realms and plunge the universe back into darkness. Maybe they have a connection.', he concludes.

Thor frowns. This explanation doesn't seem to be for his liking. 'Then it would notice we're not them.'

'It wants to know if we aren't better suited to use it. It feeds of those bodies to gain energy. It wants to make sure there is a lot to get and not just a weak body who couldn't hold it for a day or wouldn't be able to carry it back into the real world.'

Thor looks doubtful. 'Can you wield it?'

Loki shrugs. 'We'll see.'

'What about getting it out again? 'Host body' doesn't sound like it would let go without a fight.', Tony interrupts.

'It's our only chance to get back home. At least the only one I see. If you have another idea, I am all ears.', Loki snaps. 'Otherwise we'll deal with one problem at a time. And we already agreed we would try this.'

Thor looks like he wants to discuss it further but he remains silent. Loki can guess what consequences will have to be dealt with later, Loki tells himself they are worth it. To bring everyone home will be worth everything he can give.

He just has to make sure to be the first one to touch the stone or rather the fluid, it would surely kill the mortals before they could figure out a way to rid them of it. Furthermore Loki has the most experience with these kind of things.

They continue their way towards where the Aether pulses in the heart of this world. The others start to get nervous as well. Apparently they finally also notice the hum in the air, the throbbing that makes every cell vibrate in the unique rhythm of the Aether, so unlike anything either of them had ever felt. When they are back home, Loki decides he'd take another look at the Tesseract to find the correspondence.

The sound of paws on hard ground doesn't return though there is a whooshing noise. Loki isn't sure if he's only imagining it or mistaking the rushing of his blood for something else, but it sounds suspiciously like the flapping of wings. Carefully they walk on as the area around them loses its structure. The plants which are nothing Loki had ever seen, vanish, the ground becomes a solid black mass again. As far as they can see there is nothing but black floor and a red ceiling, reminding them of the light in the Citadel which they now must be in again. The physical world seems stranger than any alternate reality and has its own horrors. Loki would right now give a lot for a drink of water.

All of a sudden the oppression is gone, leaving behind an emptiness. A high gray structure comes into view.

'Do you think it's there?', Steve motions to the building in the distance.

Loki nods. 'The time of trials is over.' The oppression had been to drive them away, to test their bravery when not being opposed by an imminent threat.

The building is further away than they thought but they reach it without further incidents. It looks conspicuously like the one they had lived in for the past months.

The big leaf-door swing open when Thor touches them, revealing the gallery they had seen so often. Just this time instead of the sitting possibility in the middle of it, there is a tall black stone, half of it hovers in the air. Powerful runes are written all over it. The space between the two halves glows red from the single red droplet that hangs there suspended in midair.

The hum of the air is barely perceptible. The bloody red of the gem shines like a rose in the summer sun, it almost looks harmless like this, beautiful as it is. Loki realizes that the Aether seeks to attract them so they would touch it. It doesn't care if they are powerful enough anymore, it wants to leave this place, no matter with who and power might still frighten them away. Loki notices how everyone, including himself, shuffles around to not give in to the temptation.

One of the most powerful objects of the universe is right there in front of them, waiting to be seized. It's powerful enough to destroy worlds and still it looks like it is trapped, waiting to be freed and to bestow power upon its new master.

Loki's fingers itch, the others aren't better off. Their eyes are glued to the red gem, the red fluid, Loki doesn't even care anymore. He just wants to help it, to hold it.

Slowly the ravenette steps forward before anyone else can succumb to it. He is careful to keep his senses together, to concentrate on the purpose he needs the Aether for, hoping it would be enough to not fully fall under its spell. He had heard it drove others mad.

It sparkles like a red diamond, sharp, deadly, perfect.

It's like plucking a rose and yet so different. For one moment Loki holds the crystal in his hand, then it turns into a liquid and tries to invade his skin. Before that can happen though, Loki creates a force field around it. Lazily it fights the shield but can't escape it in it's current situation.

It's warm on his palm, like blood it floats through the air. The near Loki again feels the power it emits. And that it is only a fraction of what it could be. He reaches out his senses which is surprisingly easy since the Aether does something similar. All around him Loki feels shards of the red liquid, spread over quite some distance. It takes little to encourage the Aether to draw every single of its droplets to its center.

Loki feels the different realities made real by every single of them, the Aether's power is weakened like this.

When the Aether is reassembled in front of him, Loki drops the force field and allows the Aether to draw strength from him,

Before Loki can have second thoughts, the red liquid enters his bloodstream and makes his whole body tingle in anticipation. It's liquid power that flows through his veins. For a moment all he can see is the white blinding light. Loki is afraid he might faint but the worry is reasonless.

The scene around them dissolves into the normal view of the gallery.

'Are you okay?' The words reach his ear like from a distance. He recognizes Thor's voice.

Loki turns around with a smile. 'I never felt better.' Loki tries not make it sound like a lunatic but probably fails. He had never felt that much pure power surging through him. 'Let's go home.'

It's ridiculously easy to find the crack in the reality, so easy Loki almost laughs out loud. Maybe he did given the conspicuous glances of his friends. The Convergence has long passed but the reality alternating Aether enables Loki to bring it back for a minor occurrence.

'Come closer.'

They huddle together when Loki unleashed the power of the Reality Stone. Within seconds the wind picks up, something that hasn't happened here ever, then suddenly they stand in bright sunlight.

Yellow, golden sunlight. The are structures Loki recognizes as Midgardian architecture.

Before any of them can move, the light of the Bifrost envelops them.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello :)**

 **Thanks for reading. Thank you to all who added this story to their favorite/follow lists.**

 **These things that have been following our heroes are loosely based on the Reapers from Doctor Who. Apparently just their look likes, not their tasks though.**

 **Wow, I have been posting this story now for almost a whole year. It feels completely surreal. And there is still so much to look forward to. Just wanted to place this here. Anyway, thanks for sticking around and/or joining me in this journey. See you next Saturday. Have a great weekend!**


	52. Chapter 50 Home

Home

 _Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.  
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones _

Thor's eyes barely have the time to get used to the golden sunlight of Midgard when the Bifrost opens around them. Within seconds his feet touch Asgardian ground for the first time in months. He had forgotten how it felt. Slowly he takes in his surroundings. The Avengers and he had landed in the repaired Bifrost dome, the bridge behind them is just winding down. Heimdall looks a little shocked as he pulls out his sword from the devise, though Thor doesn't understand why since he brought them here.

'My princes.' The keeper drops to his knees but doesn't avert his eyes like he still can't believe to see them. Thor realizes that they were outside of the nine realms, that Heimdall could probably not see them for whatever period of time passed here, that the whole of Asgard must have been thought them dead. They are all too stunned though for a moment to react to Heimdall. Loki had made it. They are back home. Or in case of the Midgardians only a small travel away from it. Thor takes some deep breaths to calm his heart beat. Their crazy plan worked, incredible as it is. If he'd be honest, he still can't believe it. He expects with the next blink for the sky to turn bloody red again. For months a tension had taken a hold of him which now refuses to leave him. Danger had been ever present and with this stroke of luck this suddenly changed.

Thor's and Loki's parents must have been worried sick and demanded them to be brought home instantly when Heimdall would find a trace. Suddenly Thor feels guilty for not really thinking about how his parents must have felt, what their friends and families believed. Hadn't Loki's death looked much the same? Thanos had abducted him, leaving not a trace of the ravenette to be found in the nine realms.

'Heimdall.', Loki's broken voice reverberates through the dome. He sounds as shocked as they all feel. The mortals look around in wonder but they also recognize Asgard and, like Thor, can't believe it yet. 'How long have we been gone?', he asks the keeper, his eyes darting around to spot the mistake.

'Several months, my Prince. We thought you were taken.', Heimdall immediately replies.

'Loki, are we.. Is this really home?', Clint sounds thunderstruck when he interrupts the exchange.

Loki looks at the mortal, surprised at the question. 'Yes. Don't you feel it? I feel like bursting.' A large grin makes its way to his face. Apparently the red liquid in his veins does something to his perception because Thor had more than once believed to be home. 'We're home.', he announces again but somehow he is the only one being truly happy about it.

Thor feels too shocked to react properly. Worried he watches his husband. They've been gone for months and Loki is happy about that fact. Is the Aether already addling with his brain or is he just happy to see the rainbow bridge of their home world again? For a short moment Thor has the feeling he can't cope with this whole situation. They're home, they had done what they had dreamed about for an eternity, and still this feels so overwhelming, Thor can't carry a single thought through to the end. It is so surreal he can't even enjoy the view. It is shortly past sun rise and the city gleams in the golden light. It will take some time to get used to this luxury again.

'The All-father directed for all of you to be brought here immediately should I see you. I will be honest, Prince Loki, we thought you lost for us.', Heimdall doesn't seem to notice the crazed gleam in Loki's eyes or he simply ignores it. Home. Oddly enough the word leaves a bitter taste in Thor's mouth. He doesn't trust the peace yet but Loki seems so sure and hadn't he seen how Loki had used the Aether to get them back home?

'We were.', Loki evasively says, stepping away from their group and leaving the dome to step out into the new light. A wild laugh leaves the man as he closes his eyes and enjoys the wind and the sun on his skin. Thor follows his lover and blinking steps out into the sun.

'Is this real?', he whispers because it starts to feel like it. Thor knows in his heart that he would break should the answer be negative. Too much pent up hope had settled there in the short moments since their arrival for it to be crushed without taking Thor with it. For much too long he had yearned to see his home again, he doesn't dare to believe it could be true.

Loki doesn't turn around. 'Yes.'

'How are you feeling?'

'Great.', Loki's answer worries him but for now Thor refrains from telling him. He wonders how long it will take for Loki to realize that he behaves oddly. 'Heimdall, we need to go to the Palace.', he says over his shoulder.

'Of course, I have already send a servant to the stables to get us horses.'

A raven circles above their heads and lands on Loki's outstretched arm. Their presence has been noticed. Thor lets his eyes drift to the palace, he tries to see a golden shimmer on one of the balconies to give him a hint of Odin's ever watchful eye. Of course there is nothing to be seen from this distance except for the golden glimmer of the building.

'No need.' Loki whispers something in Huginn's ear, then the raven takes off again and flies to the palace to report back to Odin. Thor frowns at Loki's words but the ravenette holds out his hand, not even looking back to his friends. 'I haven't teleported in months. It'll be quicker.'

'You shouldn't teleport so many people at once then.', Thor warns him.

Impatiently Loki wiggles his fingers. Reluctantly Thor takes it. The others slowly step out onto the rainbow bridge. 'Come on guys.', Loki calls out, stretching out his other hand to them. 'Don't waste my time. Come. We need to talk to the All-father.'

Within a heartbeat they are standing in front of some palace doors. The guards fall out of their daze and nearly double over when they notice who has just stepped up there.

'God! Warn us next time. Why couldn't we wait for the horses?', Tony demands to know. One hand is clutched over his heart.

'Because I didn't feel like dealing with all the inhabitants of Asgard to celebrate the return of their favorite prince. You can go back later and let loose. But I first need to dress in something else than these.' He points down at the rags they all wear by now. 'And a bath for that matter.'

'Mother will await us.', Thor tells him.

Loki chuckles. 'You'll be lucky if she recognizes us like this. Especially you.' He looks at Thor with a smirk. His hand immediately finds his chin which is now fully covered in a beard. Norns, Thor thinks with a smile, he surely must look more like his father than ever. 'I told Odin we'd meet them after getting ready.'

Thor smiles. 'Well then. There is enough place in our chambers for all of us.' They walk down some corridors to the royal wing. Each time they encounter someone, the reaction they get is much the same, a dazed awe settles over all who see the heroes, deranged as they are.

The chambers look much the same as they did when Thor last saw them but they feel different. The air is stifling and dusty, they feel empty because no one had entered them in months.

Tony gives a low whistle when entering. 'I hadn't such a nice apartment when you had me stay here.', he comments.

'You're no royalty, Stark.' Loki is already on his way to their bedroom, Thor can hear the grin in his voice.

'That is a subject for debate!', Tony calls after him. Thor just wants to direct the team to their guest room when there is a knock on the door.

A servant is standing in front of the door, quickly bowing with professionalism. 'Queen Frigga has send us up to ask what you will require, my Prince.' A delicious smell drifts through the outer corridor. Thor's mouth already starts to water. He can't remember the last time he eat food that wasn't cooked by himself or just ripped off some bushes. The meal smells like a feast. The servant smiles knowing. 'We already brought some food, the rest will arrive in a few moments.' With a nod from him, a few other servants walk past them, carrying in trays that smell divine.

'My friends will need new clothes. And a place to sleep.'

The servant nods, then they all hurry off. Thor turns around to see the bunch of food on the table. His stomach grumbles at the sight but he forces himself not to sniff the air and wait for the others.

Loki stands in the room, already out of most his clothes. He raises one eyebrow.

'Mother send us some food.', Thor informs him. His gaze drifts to the bed. The soft material looks inviting. Maybe he could take a small nap before they would meet their parents to be able to concentrate on anything but the feeling of the soft silk on his skin.

'After I washed off this dirt. And you should shave.' His lips curl in faked disgust. Thor knows for sure that Loki likes his beard, but he still has to admit it could be a little more neat.

Thor hums indefinable when he shrugs off the rest of the t-shirt he wears. He steps closer to the bed before diving head first in it. He groans when the cool material touches his skin.

'Damn it. I forgot how soft a bed can be.', Thor mumbles without lifting his head from the pillows. The perfume he breathes in is so sweet, he could die a happy man. He hears Loki laughing behind him. The sound is hollow, he must already be in the bathroom. Thor just stays where he is, resting his eyes for a few moments though he can't sleep. Now that he is home, his body demands the attention it had lacked for so long. He is hungry, dirty, sore. Sighing Thor forces himself to stand up to not ruin the sheets or Loki would complain once out of the washing room.

Now that they have left the Citadel, Thor finally has the time to think over what they agreed to to do this. The Aether was said to be a powerful weapon with which the Dark Elves tried to turn this universe back into one of darkness, as a result tried to erase most of the life in it. A thing they would have loved. Bor had fought them long and under great risks to take the weapon from them, and now the power to destroy trillions of lives flows through Loki's veins, threatening to consume him at any point. None living knows the workings of that weapon, only the leader of the people of Svartalfheim knew how to wield it, and he died alongside his kin thousands of years ago, taking with him the knowledge that could save Loki.

The ravenette doesn't seem to realize the danger he is in yet, but soon enough the red liquid would draw his strength from him and leave him weak and defenseless only to seek a new host after draining Loki's reserves, leaving behind a corpse. Thor wouldn't let it come that far but has no idea how to help Loki. For now it elevates Loki's emotions and powers but it isn't meant to be kept in the body for long, it feeds directly from the life force. The only hope Thor has is that there certainly must be a way to get rid of it, to get it back into a container before the inevitable happens. If Malekith could figure out a way, Loki and their parents surely would.

But then there were the cursed, Thor reminds himself. Loki had told Tony about them one time in the dead of the night when he thought Thor was sleeping. The blond tries to understand why Loki refused to tell him about all the risks. Apparently Malekith had supporters from his own lines who would come in contact with the Aether and turn into berserks, the Cursed. They were the most feared warriors in the nine realms, Thor remembers long lost stories about them when he was a child. They had fought like maniacs, feeling no pain and knowing no mercy, being almost impossible to take down even for a larger group of Asgardians. An enemy powerful enough to kill whole battalions but at a terrible price. They could use the power of the Aether until it consumed them. Once having come in contact with the red substance, there was no turning back for them. They lost their purpose in life, their whole personality. They fought like they had nothing to lose because they had nothing. Their lives were already ended, they just could do as much of their last days or hours as possible.

Thor had heard Loki relate all these things to his friend. First he had been angry because this part of the childhood stories he had himself quite forgotten. He had wanted to confront Loki about having this knowledge and keeping it from them all on purpose, trying to even get the Aether which had unleashed such evil into their own hands and use it. They had a right to know and weigh the risks. Then he had realized it. The Aether might have been their only choice, at least from Loki's point of view. He had kept this a secret because he knew they would abandon their only hope. Thor could have tried to talk him out of it, but the ravenette had always been nothing but stubborn.

He almost misses Loki's return but getting out of the clothes suddenly seems like the most important thing. After their body needs had been tended to, there would be enough time to worry. Loki would also need all his strength. Loki waits for him as expected, having searched out clothes for both of them.

Seeing his friends in Asgardian clothes is strange for a few moments. The Avengers don't seem to feel very comfortable either but it's not like they have some spare clothes themselves.

'Your friend could have waited at least a few minutes to let us pack some clothes.', Tony complains, sitting on the sofa with a plate in his hands. The others are also eating already, none of them being polite after suffering more than once from extreme hunger in the past months to let such an opportunity slip. They had all learned their share of abundance being fleeting. Thor feels much better and much more home in his usual clothes. And with his belly filled, it would be even better. He gets a plate of the meat and some bread for himself and Loki, anything to quell the hunger most effectively.

When chewing on a piece of bread, Thor scrutinizes the team. They all look tired and ready to sleep a solid week. The man still sport their beards, especially Clint and Steve look very different with it. All their hair had grown out a bit but apart from some fresher wounds and some scars that would stay, they look much the same.

They eat almost all of the food Frigga had brought them though it had been enough to probably feed at least twenty warriors.

'We should get going. The sooner we talk to our parents, the sooner we can all retire.', Thor says after finishing his plate. A drowsiness had settled over him and he doesn't think his friends feel much different.

'How long will we stay here anyway?', Steve asks.

Loki shrugs. 'Odin will want to hear a report from all of us. But if you want to go, you're free to do so.'

Tony nods. 'It's just, we also have a life. And that isn't for everyone on Asgard.', he reminds him.

'I know.' Loki sighs. 'We will all go. How about we stay here for tonight, eat, rest, and will go to Midgard in the morning. Or whenever we're awake. I'll accompany you but won't stay.'

Clint worries his lip. 'Fury will demand an explanation.'

'Which I will give him. Then I'll come back and we'll figure out what to do with the Aether and the other stones.', Loki offers.

'Wait, don't we get a say in that?', Stark exclaims. 'I wasn't speaking of never returning, Lokes. There are just some things I need to make sure of. Jarvis may have a protocol as to what to do should I ever vanish like this, I gotta make sure everything is fine. God, the world probably thinks us all dead. Then someone owes me one hell of an explanation. We're in this Thanos' thing together. At least on my part.' Tony raises his hands and looks offended at the other Avengers. 'You took that stuff into you and I, for my part, also won't leave until it's out again.'

'Neither of us will. You brought us out, that's the least we can do.', Steve states with crossed arms.

'I thank you, mu friends. This will be dealt with in no time, I am sure.', Loki says offhand. With that he stands up and walks to the door with a swing in his step that hadn't been there a few hours ago.

The chambers of the King and Queen are just a few doors further down the corridor. The doors open immediately, their parents await them already. Thor hasn't even fully entered the parlor when Sleipnir rushes past him to hug Loki close. He could have guessed that the sandy haired man would be on Asgard with his mother being missing again. He, at the least, must have thought that Thanos got them again. Thor wonders if he had felt Loki's life force again or if it had been gone.

'Thor.' Suddenly his mother is throwing her arms around his neck. Thor embraces her without thinking, being glad to finally see her again. He feels himself calm down quickly. Tears shine in her eyes when she draws back slightly to look at him. A delicate hand caresses Thor's stubbly face. 'My son.', she whispers.

'I missed you, Mother.'

She laughs a little. 'We missed you as well. Where were you? We were worried sick.' She is still too happy to have her sons back as to truly chastise them.

'Son.' Odin's voice sounds broken and old. Thor turns away from his mother to see him. His father has gray hair almost as long as he can remember but never before had he looked this old and tired.

'Father.' Thor finds himself in his father's embrace. Their absence surely had taken its toll on the older man, Thor thinks with regret.

'What happened? Was it..?', Odin doesn't finish the question when he pulls back and holds onto Thor's shoulders to gaze into his eyes. Pure worry and happiness fight for domination in the lined face. He is happy to have his sons back but he still is the king of a realm and protector of their nine worlds and as that has to make sure if there is an eminent threat to be dealt with.

Thor shakes his head. Where just should he begin with their story?

Odin nods, understanding that they aren't being followed or the like. 'Are you all well? Do you need a healer?', he asks.

'We're as well as can be expected.' Thor looks over to where Loki stands. 'It's just.. Loki.'

Odin's hesitating smile fades again. 'What's with your brother?', he asks, turning right away to Loki, frowning deeply. If Thor wouldn't know better, he would say his father is frightened.

'Father.' Thor puts a hand on his arm to keep him from rushing right to the ravenette's side and interrupting his and Frigga's reunion. 'Loki should tell you himself. It has nothing to do with his health though. Let him enjoy this moment.'

Odin turns around, now frowning in an irritated manner. 'What happened?', he wants to know.

Thor sighs. 'That, Father, is a long story. But it had nothing to do with Thanos. More like being at the wrong lace at the wrong time. Maybe we should sit down.'

After Frigga had welcomed each of them with a hug, the group sit down on the sofas around the fireplace, the king and the queen taking the head seats.

And then Loki begins to tell them of the occurrences months ago. How they came to the Citadel with the effects of the Convergence. How they survived though he skips quite some parts. How they got out. At least a apart of that.

'Where is the Aether now?' Odin doesn't seem the least surprised about the fact that it wasn't destroyed by his father.

Loki hesitates. Thor nudges him, giving him one last chance to tell their parents on his own. 'I absorbed it.' Thor nudges him again. 'And have no idea how to get it out again.'

Odin's eye fixes on him. 'Do you feel the effects yet?'

Thor's eyes widen when Loki doesn't react immediately. 'It already drains you?', the blond asks shocked.

'Of course it does.', Loki hisses. 'There are always consequences when using such an amount of energy. At first it was bearable, by now I feel it.', he admits.

Frigga seems worried by this information.

'It's not bad.', Loki insists. 'I probably just need some rest, then everything will be fine.' The excuse sounds hollow and wrong, even to Thor's ears.

'Is there a way to get it out of him?', Thor asks. He turns to his parents and hopes they would find a solution.

'There must be one. Malekith had wanted to use it as well.', Loki says, crossing his arms as if he couldn't understand what all the fuzz is about.

'And he wanted to destroy the universe. Do you really think he would have cared if he died in the process as long as he succeeded?' Thor crosses his arms in annoyance as well.

Loki grits his teeth but doesn't contradict him.

'We will find a way, darling.' Frigga stands up and sits down next to Loki. She puts a hand on his shoulder. A worry crease appears on her forehead. Whatever she feels it is nothing good. 'But first you have to rest. It's late. We have some guests suites prepared for your friends. We'll talk in the morning.'

Loki nods but makes no move to stand up. 'What have we missed?'

Frigga hesitates and casts a warning glance to Odin who had opened his mouth to answer.

'What?', Thor asks, his gaze flitting between his parents. Something is wrong. Loki frowns now as well, trying to urge his mother to elaborate.

'Nothing, sweethearts.', their mother is quick to say. 'First we will take care of you, then we can talk about everything else. Really, nothing to worry about. Rest for tonight. We will deal with everything in the morning.' With that she dismisses the group. They know it's pointless to argue with their mother so Thor and Loki motion their friends to follow.

Sleipnir follows Loki despite Frigga seeking to hold him back. Thor and his family retire to their chambers, Sleipnir not yet ready to leave Loki out of his sight.

Loki shrugs when Tony asks if they shouldn't talk about it. 'There is no reason to discuss something they aren't ready to tell us yet. But I promised you to go home tomorrow. Rest. I'll let someone wake you.'

'You plan to leave so soon again?', Sleipnir asks as soon as they are in the secludedness of their chambers. He sounds disappointed.

Loki sighs. 'Our friends need to go home as well. And I owe them. It was because of me that they got into this whole ordeal.', he reasons. 'I will be back within a day.'

'I'll come with you.', Sleipnir states, crossing his arms in defiance.

Thor expects Loki to say no, coming up with reasons concerning Sleipnir's safety and the like but he certainly doesn't expect him to give in so easily. 'Of course, little one.' Maybe he underestimated how much the ravenette had missed his son all this time. Loki hugs him tightly. 'I'm sorry.'

'I missed you. I thought Thanos would have..' The younger one angrily rubs his eyes.

'Sh. Thanos is far away, it was just an accident. Maybe a lucky accident even. But enough of that for tonight, alright? We all need our rest, tomorrow we'll get that stuff out of me and everything will be as it was before.', he tries to soothe everyone. 'Come.' Loki guides him to the sofa so they could be a little more comfortable.

'What happened?', Loki asks Sleipnir once they are seated. The sandy haired man looks to the ground and shuffles his feet.

'Frigga forbid me to talk about this just yet.', he admits quietly. This had caught Thor's attention before. He leans forward almost unconsciously to hear better.

'Is it something bad? Has information about Thanos reached you? Is Asgard under attack?'

Sleipnir shakes his head. His eyes beg them to let the matter go for now. Then he sighs and looks to the ground. 'Did you feel anything strange during your time in that place?'

'I felt a lot of strange things. What exactly do you mean?'

But Sleipnir just shakes his head. 'You would know if you would have felt it.' He takes a deep breath. 'There was an energy surge. Powerful. Far more powerful than back then when the Tesseract was activated. Grandpa seems to know where it came from but all of Asgard could feel it. An Infinity Stone was used. We're sure of that.'

'Maybe that was us.', Loki says without real hope in his voice.

Sleipnir shakes his head. 'You don't understand. It was no reality altering power. It was Power.'

'The Power Stone.', Loki concludes quietly. 'Thanos has it?' He looks up to his son.

The boy just shrugs, then nods reluctantly. 'It came from a region close to where I felt a part of you drift. But maybe someone else has it.', he remarks quickly. 'The king and the queen want to tell you about it themselves. They know more than I.', Sleipnir says.

'Thank you for telling us.' Loki sighs. 'It doesn't matter for the moment, I guess. And it is no use to speculate.' Thor has a slightly different opinion on that but he leaves it be for the moment.

xXxXx

Loki stares at the blank ceiling. Lights dance across it as the wind moves the curtains and they break the moonlight shining in from between them. The cold winter air drifts into the room, carrying in the scent of snow to come. It should be soothing, it is Loki's favorite time of the year, the air gets crisp, warm hearths wait inside for him when coming home from a long afternoon stroll through the city and the forests around it. He tries to concentrate on the steady winds from the north billowing the satin coverings, carrying the icy scent of the far mountains.

Loki rolls to the side with a frustrated groan. He just can't find a comfortable position to fall asleep. His mind is whirring with thoughts which don't quiet down like they usually do when he is tired out like this. The Aether drains him and since he has great magic reserves, the infinity stone takes more from him than it would from a less skilled or powerful person. Loki just wants to fall asleep and forget about that red stuff in his veins for some moments, to rest and regain some strength to figure out a way to rid himself of the Aether in the morning. He could hit his forehead hard against a wall or something equally hard for actually allowing himself to follow through this plan. What had he thought would happen? Loki sighs. He actually hadn't thought that far, not really believing that they would get the Aether into their hands. It had been the only chance and he tries to not let the others feel how much the burden weighs down on him.

And he really doesn't have the energy to think about Thanos and the Power Stone right now. In the morning maybe everything would make more sense.

He gets warm and kicks the blanket away despite the cold air seeping into the room. Something is wrong apart from that powerful strange substance in his blood stream. Angrily he turns back to face Thor. He glances towards the blond. His eyes are closed, but there is a frown on his face nonetheless. Loki forces his eyes shut to finally fall asleep but it's useless. He is tired, drained and only wants to escape the lurking danger for a short few hours.

Throwing himself from side to side again, Loki tries to find a comfortable sleeping position.

'Love, come here.' Thor's arms encompass him from behind, drawing him closer to the warm blond.

Loki turns in the embrace to face Thor. 'I can't sleep.', he says. Thor surprisingly looks very much awake despite his previous position which makes Loki think he only pretended to sleep. Thor had been worried about the Aether but Loki had talked him into letting the ravenette do it to safe them and their friends.

'Me neither.', Thor mutters into the dark. 'The bed is too soft.' He had been away from home to battles more often than Loki, is used to coming home from crazy situations like that. It feels good to know that it is not easy for him as well.

'I hated sleeping on the ground but this is unreal. I expect to wake up in the Citadel at any moment. Or in Thanos' hands.' The situation seems like something the Mad Titan would be able to come up with to torture Loki.

'We're safe thanks to you.', Thor whispers, hugging him close. 'Don't you worry, we will find a way to make everything right again.'

'And then?' Loki sighs.

Thor shrugs. ' We'll make it up as we go. ', he whispers. 'You need never pretend with me, my love. How do you feel?'

'Tired.', Loki admits.

'Come here.'

Loki rests his head on Thor's chest, listening to his steady strong heartbeat, feeling the familiar warmth seep through his tunic. Slowly he feels his body relax into Thor's side as strong arms curl around him to hold him closer.

'Better?', Thor mutters into his hair.

'A little. The bed is still too soft.', Loki mutters against Thor's chest.

'We could sleep on the floor if you would prefer that. I know you like it rough.' Thor's grin is invisible in the dark. Loki chuckles and bumps his shoulder into Thor's side. 'Wait a moment.' Thor wiggles out of the bed. His bare feet make tapping sounds on the floor. Within seconds he's back, carrying a small box with him.

Loki stares at it for some moments, then carefully opens it. A chuckle escapes him. 'What?', he asks thunderstruck, looking up at Thor before returning his gaze to the box.

Thor merely shrugs. 'I always have a box full of them here. Just in case. You used to like them when you couldn't sleep.' A warm hand comes to rest on Loki's shoulders.

'You always stole some from the kitchen and would sneak to my room and we would eat them on my bed. You said I would never have nightmares with them.' Loki remembers it all to well.

'And you never had. I made sure of that.' Thor had usually stayed the night. Loki doesn't bother to correct him that that fact had helped him more than any food ever could.

Loki places the box with the sweets between them, each taking one of the small cakes out. Thor loops an arm around his shoulders as they munch on their treats.

'You feel better now?', Thor asks.

'I still can't sleep.' Loki smiles.

Thor laughs. 'Well, I know something to remedy that.' He takes the box from in between them, then flips Loki around so he can hover over the ravenette.

'Thor.' Loki can't suppress the excited grin though he tries to chastise Thor. The blond seals their lips, his hands move down Loki's sides in a tantalizing way.

'It's been so long.', Thor presses out between feather light kisses over Loki's neck.

'No, it hasn't.', Loki corrects him. 'Only a week if memory serves.', he reminds his husband with a blissful smile.

'That doesn't count, love.' He cups Loki's bottom. 'Not really at least. Let me show you.'

Loki doesn't feel like arguing the point when his lips find such a more worthwhile occupation. Thor's hands wander under his tunic, shoving it up to reveal the white stomach. Loki's breath hitches when the calloused fingers caress the revealed skin. Thor's lips descend on his again, ever more insisting as if Loki wouldn't feel his intention poking his thigh.

The knock on the door lets them jump apart. 'Is everything alright, Mom?' Sleipnir's head pokes in a second after knocking. Thor had thrown the blanket over them to cover up any telltale signs.

'Yes, little one.' Loki sounds just slightly out of breath.

'Sorry, I thought you were in pain.' The young man reevaluates the situation and looks embarrassed to the floor.

'Nothing to worry about. I am fine.', he reassures the other.

Sleipnir nods. He looks downcast, Loki notices. Thor apparently notices the mood Loki's son is in and clears his throat. 'I'll give you a moment.' With that he raises from the bed and leaves the room without a backward glance.

A small smile makes its way to his face. 'Come here, little one. You do not need to worry about me, everything will be fine.' Loki pats his side of the big bed. 'What is it?', he asks when Sleipnir doesn't look calmed.

Sleipnir shrugs helplessly, but walks to the bed nonetheless. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too. More than anything else.', he tells his son.

'It's just..' His gaze flits to the door Thor had just used to vanish.

Sadness descends on Loki. 'Shush, darling. I know.' He takes Sleipnir's face into his hands and forces him to look at the ravenette. 'Listen carefully. You're always first, you hear? You're the most important person in my life. I am sorry I caused you such pain again.' Loki caresses his cheek when some tears flow down. 'Don't cry, my little one. You can always tell me what bothers you.'

Sleipnir nods, his eyes barely meeting Loki's. 'I just feel like..' He doesn't finish the sentence.

'I know. And I am sorry. You will never know how very sorry I am. You're always my number one, don't you forget that. Everything will be fine.' Somewhen.

'Alright.' He nods bravely. 'I just think we lead different lives.'

Loki sighs. 'Maybe we do. You'll be a great king one day, I will always be proud of you.' He hesitates for a split second. 'You want to stay here?'

Sleipnir shakes his head. 'I will leave you alone. Sleep well, Mom.'

'Sleep well, dear.', Loki murmurs quietly.

Thor enters the room some time later.

'We should sleep.', Thor reminds him when Loki starts throwing himself from side to side again. 'Do you want to talk about it? Whatever is on your mind.' He grumbles somewhat and Loki briefly wonders what his problem is.

Loki shrugs. 'I don't know.' He really doesn't.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello! Thanks for all the favorites and follows. I feel so honored :3 (So, an extra long update for you.)**

 **Something bothers me about this though I can't figure out what it is. Sigh. I made that small reminder about the Dark Elves because, let's face it, Thor TDW is... not so new anymore. I kinda noticed that I messed up Nidavellir and Svartalfheim. For me it's just that Dark Elves and Dwarfs aren't the same. Malekith didn't seem to be the person to gift the Asgardians with powerful weapons like Mjolnir. I am just pointing it out before anyone can complain or get confused.**

So yeah, Sleipnir is hurt, Thor is grumpy, Loki is tired and the rest confusing. Perfect setting, don't you think? I neglected Sleipi again, I know. I try to remedy that from now on. Maybe.

 **See you next week for some revelations and explanations. Till we meet again!**


	53. Chapter 51 The Game Is On

The Game Is On

 _So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.  
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby _

Odin leads the whole group minus Tony into the library. Loki had brought him down to Midgard in the morning like he promised though the brunet man had insisted on dealing with everything alone after a rather shocked Pepper Pots had almost had a heart attack upon seeing Tony alive and sound, showing up without warning in the middle of his Tower. Upon picking Tony up Loki had suggested the others could go with Tony to deal with SHIELD and their personal affairs, then come back to forge plans together with him and Thor. The other Avengers had surprised him with their little confession.

'I have no family down there, no one to care for except those friends who are already here. I'll stay here if I may.', Steve had said in all earnest.

Natasha and Bruce had merely smiled, Clint had shrugged. 'Stark still has his company to take care of and some people to tell that he lives and doesn't lie drunken in an alley. Working for SHIELD and being an Avengers kinda doesn't leave you much time to have an extended private life. Besides, none of us wants to miss the brilliant feasts you call breakfast.'

With that everything had been settled. Loki had been too overwhelmed to do more than nod. He had realized of course the pretextual excuses.

So everyone had stayed on Asgard, leaving Tony on Midgard to deal with his and their affairs. Once he would have finished doing that, he'd just give Heimdall a call, either to bring the others down should a problem have arisen in their absence that requires their help or to come back to Asgard so they can further discuss their plans.

The room they enter is part of the royal library though Loki had never spend much time in this section before researching the Infinity Stones. Picture books just aren't his style, as Tony would phrase it.

Apparently the All-father had this chamber be prepared for the visitors for he walks right past the world tree, Yggdrasil, a replica of which spans to all corners of the vast room, filling it to the high ceiling. Odin goes to a pedestal on which a big tome is placed. It looks ancient and vaguely familiar.

'I might assume my sons have told you about the Aether which now flows through Loki's veins. Ages ago Svartalfheim was destroyed and it blamed us, including the other realms for this. Malekith tried to turn the time back and transform the universe to its original state where none of our species would have evolved and flourished. The Aether was the weapon of choice for him to succeed. Unlike any of the normal powerful objects, it appears as a fluid. It invades host bodies and draws their strength from them.' Here he pauses to look at Loki.

'Does it happen to mention how to get it out?', Clint asks after Odin had finished.

'No.' Odin casts a pointed look in Clint's interruption. 'But you remember Algrim?', Odin asks his sons.

Loki scowls at the mentioning of that name. 'Yes.', he presses out through gritted teeth. Thor bites his lip and places a hand on Loki's forearm, a soothing gesture which is lost on the ravenette.

Algrim had searched for refuge on Asgard, a long time before either Thor's or Loki's birth. The Jotnar had invaded and later laid waste to Svartalfheim in a great war after Surtur, whom the Dark Elves had called for help, had driven them out, claiming Svartalfheim for his own. The fire demon had promised to 'free' Svartalfheim and planned in the meantime to take over all the nine realms. Asgard had to intercept and fight the people of Muspelheim while the Jotnar, while drawing back from the realm of the Dark Elves to their own world, had left the last gift to Svartalfheim: Utter destruction. A curse had been placed on the land so that no flora or fauna would ever live on its grounds again, the final curse of the Jotnar.

Years later Malekith had sought to destroy the universe in revenge for the destruction of his world. Algrim, who had been on Asgard at that time, had been one of the only survivors of his race after Bor had killed the Dark Elves in the last battle. Since he had been faithful throughout the war, Bor allowed him to stay, he was even appointed adviser of the king after Odin took the crown. Both princes had grown up with the tall, solemn, wise Dark Elf, often asking advise in their youths.

His blood was the first that Loki ever spilled. After Algrim betrayed Asgard and dared to threaten Odin with death, blaming him for the death of his people, for Asgard's belated reaction to the Jotun threat which forced them to turn to Surtur, Loki saw red. Thor later told him that his reaction was understandable, that he only protected his family and their world. Truth is, Thor had taken the Dark Elf prisoner, Loki only saw their father on the ground, maybe dead, and he used his magic to get revenge.

Algrim was the first death on his conscience, surely not the last.

'He shared some of his people's secrets with us before that day.', Odin says as if guessing Loki's thoughts. 'Your mother and I are confident we can extract the Aether safely from you and contain it. She weaves some last spells to make sure the Aether doesn't leave its new home. So this will be over in a matter of hours, my sons. But this isn't why I brought you here. You already guessed what you carry in you, Loki, I guess.', he half asks, half states.

'An Infinity Stone.', Loki says immediately.

Odin nods. 'This is the second one that has found its way to Asgard. If Thanos searches for them, he will come here soon. Even with his state of technology it wouldn't take too long.'

'Let him come. I still owe him a fight.', Thor growls. He hadn't forgiven the Mad Titan for what he had done to Loki. 'I have a promise to keep.' Loki remembers it had something to do with Thanos and his head.

No one bothers to hold him back. Thanos had sought to destroy their home worlds, the Avengers wouldn't deserve their name if they wouldn't be a little bit unforgiving.

'Do you know where the others are?', Loki asks Odin instead, trying to coax more information out of him about what Sleipnir had told him last night. The ravenette hadn't told the other Avengers about it yet anyway. Maybe Odin had also found out something about the remaining three. 'Thanos can't be allowed to get his hands on them.'

Odin sighs. If he knows that Sleipnir talked, Loki can't tell. 'While you were gone, we felt a surge.', he finally says. 'It was ancient magic, from the beginning of the universe itself. It came from a world called Xandar, outside of the nine realms.'

'Another Infinity Stone?', Steve asks interested and worried.

Odin nods. 'The Power Stone. And it was activated to emit so much energy. Xandar is a long way away from here. It had to be felt across the whole galaxy.'

'So Thanos knows where it is.', Clint deduces.

'He might have been the one activating it.', Loki throws in.

Silence accompanies the group for a while after that statement. The real question isn't if Thanos has it or not.

'Is it better to confront him or to hide these relics so he'll never get his hands on them?', Steve apparently has similar thoughts like Loki.

'It's dangerous to collect them all in one place.', Odin warns them. 'Asgard might be able to hold him back for a while but should he really want them, he will bring legions. Eventually they would overrun us. There is no price Thanos would not be willing to pay to get his hands on these relics.'

'But we could use them.', Natasha suggests.

'We would be no better than him.' Loki shakes his head. 'All-encompassing power can not be wielded by a single mind without succumbing to madness. Even done in good intentions a deed could have consequences for the whole of the universe. The welder would have complete control over everything and everyone. Can you tell me you wouldn't be tempted to change some things for the better?'

'Then what are we supposed to do?', Clint asks. 'I guess destroying them doesn't really work if your people hid it in a place like the Citadel.'

'No, we can't destroy them. And maybe we shouldn't. Especially not now that Thanos quite possibly owns one. The Power Stone alone is enough to destroy all life on a planet.', Odin says. 'It might be the only thing to keep him from destroying us at once.'

Loki sighs. 'Still, we can't face him should he truly wield the Power Stone. But we can't leave it alone should he not have it. It's better in our hands than in his. We can still figure out where to put it later.'

'Wait, are you suggesting we travel into space and possibly fight that guy who almost from billions of miles away, destroyed our planet?', Clint asks. 'And all that without any proper weapons to fight him?'

'Sounds impossible. Just the right task for us.', Steve says with a smile.

'But we can't store them all on Asgard. He can't be allowed to get his hands on all of them at once.', Thor intervenes, looking at his father for help.

'We can't really confront Thanos without losing. He has more armies to control than we could ever fight. We wouldn't even get close to him. But we can make sure the rest of the universe stands a chance against him by keeping these powerful weapons out of his hands. Since you just felt one surge, he can't have it yet, right? He wouldn't have waited to destroy several worlds with its power just to scare everyone to death. For the storage, I suggest we could keep the Aether on Earth, if you wouldn't mind. He would never know we have it and never suspect you would leave it with us anyway. As long as it's not activated, he shouldn't feel where it is, correct? The rest we can figure out as we go.' Everyone stares at Bruce who had been silent for the whole conversation.

Clint is the first to shake off the stupor. 'Sounds like a plan to me.'

xXxXx

Thor tries to not think about the conversation between Loki and Sleipnir he had involuntarily listened in on the night before. Unfortunately he is failing spectacularly. He knows that his husband has a son and that he won't ever compete with Sleipnir's place in Loki's heart. But knowing that and hearing the ravenette say so out loud is something else entirely. It hurt more than he cares to admit.

His gaze shifts over to where Loki sits in front of their mother, both have their eyes closed and concentrate on the difficult magic spell they weave.

Soon this nightmare will over, Loki will be free of the Aether, he will be not under the threat of death anymore, won't be drained and tired.

Thor knows he doesn't have any right to be angry with Loki but he can't rid himself of feeling betrayal. Maybe once they would have a family for themselves he would understand what Loki feels. The ravenette is the center of his universe. It is devastating to have proof that the feeling is not reciprocated.

Furthermore, he had lied to Thor, having told him that the Aether wouldn't harm him yet, that it wouldn't be dangerous. Then talking about Thanos had finally ruined Thor's mood. He still wishes to bash the head of that unknown creature in for everything he had done to Loki. And he will. At least if Odin gets his will.

Frigga starts muttering, Loki frowns. Thor feels sorry for his selfish thoughts because the ravenette looks like he is in pain. Odin stays at the ready with the containment to jump in once the Aether starts leaving his body.

Sleipnir hovers in the background, following with rapt attention the ritual. Thor can't help the pang of jealousy he feels. Would it be different if Sleipnir would be his own son? He loves the sandy haired man but after not knowing of his existence until after Loki's assumed death, having a close relationship is difficult. Having found his nephew/stepson had been a surprise but a pleasant one especially after losing Loki for presumably forever. Now however..

A sharp intake of breath from Loki forces Thor's thoughts to return to the present and give up on his brooding. Loki's hands and feet curl in pain, his face is contorted, his skin sweat slicked. Frigga has to hold on tightly to Loki's hands so he doesn't withdraw them.

Suddenly red liquid leaves Loki and collects right between Frigga and Loki, hovering in the air like it is unhappy to have been torn from its home and looking for a new victim. Odin steps up when the Aether has fully left Loki and uses the containment to imprison it before it can do anymore damage.

The ravenette sinks to the floor unconscious. He is paler than usual and shaking slightly.

Thor immediately steps to his side and crouches down. 'Loki!'

Frigga checks him over, then nods. 'He needs rest.' She looks up at her son, then adds: 'Don't worry, sweetheart, he will be fine in the morning. Just make sure he rests.'

'Alright, Mother.' Carefully he picks up his husband and carries him to their chambers, motioning his friends to follow. There are still a lot of things to discuss now that none of them is in immediate danger anymore.

'I thank you for staying with us, my friends.', Thor says after placing Loki on the bed, smoothing the matted black hair from his face. His face had relaxed a bit but he looks still in pain. The blond rings for a servant.

'What are we going to do about Xandar?', Steve asks, getting Thor's train of thoughts.

'You can go home now that this is done. Your work is done.', Thor says as if he hadn't heard Steve.

The other blond frowns just when there is a timid knock on the door. Thor asks the servants to get them Loki's favorite food and a lot of water. His husband would need some sustenance once he'd wake.

'Thor, we're in this together.', Steve reminds him.

'No.', Thor says stubbornly. 'Asgard will take care of this. That's what we are there for, to protect your world from all threats.'

'We're the Avengers. It's our job to do that. If you like it or not, we won't leave you alone. Tony would agree.'

Thor sighs. 'You still have a choice for a normal life.', he tries again.

Clint snorts. 'That chance went over board when that damned portal opened. We owe Thanos for that as well.'

He sighs, realizing he is fighting a losing battle. 'As you wish.' Thor bows his head in their direction. The servants enter with some lemongrass water of which he carefully pours down Loki's throat before retiring with the others to the parlor so they wouldn't disturb him.

'So, where is that Xandar? In Alfheim?', Clint asks.

'No, it's far away. In another solar system, many times further away than Midgard is from Asgard if you would travel without the Bifrost.', Thor says. He had talked with his father when the others had been keeping Loki company before the ritual.

'Then your magic travel thing can't get us there?', Steve assumes.

'I fear not. My father only found out the name of the world by incident. We know there are other worlds out there but they usually don't get in contact with ours. There of course was that incident a few decades ago, but that is long gone.', Thor remembers but waves it aside.

'So, how will we get there to get the stone from whoever wields it now? They might not be very willing to just pass it over to us.', Natasha reminds them.

'We could check Loki's notes on the matter, he has researched the corner of the galaxy the Mad Titan rules, but I do not believe he ever mentioned Xandar.'

'There really is a chance Thanos doesn't have the stone yet.', Bruce states as if he doubts his earlier words.

'But he will sure as hell know where it is now. I mean, Loki said his magic is similar to yours.', Steve interjects.

'Wait, so we already agreed that we will go there and not just let him have it or hope it's safe, yeah?'

'You against that?' Steve raises his eyebrow and crosses his arms.

'No, of course not. That makes us something like the guardians of the galaxy.', Clint grins, apparently liking the idea.

'That just leaves us with the question of how to get there.'

'The Tesseract is no option, I take it?', Bruce asks.

'No.', is the consentient answer from the other four.

'Does Asgard has anything that could help us?', Steve asks.

'Or to ask more accurately: Will Asgard stop us when we try to interfere in intergalactic business? Odin seemed keen on keeping us where he can see us.', Natasha shares her observations. It is true, Odin had let them deal with it alone but hadn't encouraged them to fight, had only been keen on keeping Thanos away from Asgard and kept pointing out the dangers of collecting the stones.

'My father won't be happy but he will see the necessity of our actions. As to the technology Loki will be able to help you more accurately than I could. Beside, friend Tony is very adept in these matters, is he not?'

'Well, that has time. Let him sleep. We could use some rest and some food as well.' Steve smiles. 'Tomorrow he'll feel better and maybe Tony will come back. Then we can make plans.'

'The library is open to you, my friends. There are a lot of scholars who will be happy to help you read the books to retrieve information.', Thor informs them. 'Loki will no doubt gather information about possible ways to travel there and show you interesting books.'

The others bid him good bye for now. Thor sits down next to Loki, not even feeling hungry despite the time of day. It's already dark though it is barely dinner time, the winter still has a firm grip on the realm eternal. With a wet cloth Thor wipes the sweat of Loki's brow, worrying that he looks pale but is warmer than usual.

Finally Thor has the time to finally think about everything that has happened since their return. The name of the world where the Power Stone appears to be has struck a bell though he can't remember where he had heard it before. He is quite sure it had something to do with Loki. He would have to ask him once the ravenette would wake. There is a knock on the door.

Frigga comes in with a tray and places it on the bedside table. 'Has he woken yet?'

Thor shakes his head.

She smiles leniently. 'You should rest, I will watch him.'

'What's that?', Thor points at the covered tray.

She looks at it like she is seeing it there for the first time. 'One of Idunn's apples. You and Loki can share one. I would like to offer one to your friends as well so they would regain their strength faster and their wounds would heal but I fear the effects they would have on them.'

Thor nods. Frigga pulls the cloth from the tray and hands him half of the golden apple. Thor chews on it while watching his mother's worrying over her youngest son. The sweet taste is refreshing.

'How bad was it?', Frigga whispers, not turning from Loki. 'I know you didn't tell us everything.'

'Very bad. Not all scars are visible.', he mutters. Not all scars would be healed by the apples of immortality.

'Did you meet someone?' It is still as if she could read his mind.

'Elena.' The dark wavy hair comes to his mind, a freckled smile and intelligent piercing eyes.

Frigga sighs but doesn't say anything.

'You knew of her fate.', he accuses her.

'I knew you would not marry her. But I did not know what would happen to her. Otherwise..'

'Otherwise what? You couldn't have stopped it without interfering.'

'I liked her. She was a remarkable woman. I didn't know what would happen to her, just that she wouldn't marry you but I believed she would stay in Asgard and be a good friend to you.'

'We couldn't have saved her. Right?' He just has to hear her say it.

'No, my son. She was too far from our reach. You need not blame yourself. Nor us.' She sighs. 'Her father tried everything but there was nothing to be done for her. Slavery might not be practiced in our worlds but there are still darker places in the universe.'

'Just for one moment when I saw her, pregnant with a child that could be mine..' Thor shakes his head. 'I don't know, it's complicated. I saw the life that could have been my own if I would have saved her from these monsters. It wasn't real, but it's funny how one can think that this, our reality, is the only possible outcome there is when seeing the past.'

'Thor, the future isn't truly set. I didn't see you and Loki together, never in all the years of weaving the future. And here you are.' She doesn't seem to regret the turn of events. 'Try to forget what could have been. It's not in our power to change this.'

Thor nods, casting a look to the still unconscious Loki. 'I don't want to hurt him.'

His mother smiles sadly. 'Then don't.' She stands up from the bed and hugs him. 'I am just glad to have my babies back.', Frigga says against his shoulder. 'I will leave you alone. Let me be called of something changes.'

'The fever?'

'It's to be expected. If it gets worse though, you have to get me instantly.' She chews on her lip as if contemplating whether to stay or not.

'It's alright. These past months haven't been easy for you either. Go get some sleep. I'll watch him.' After the apple he already feels much better. And ready to sleep next to his husband.

'Make sure he eats something.'

Thor nods when his mother leaves the chamber. Soon they would leave Asgard again, actually as soon as possible. The others are right, Stark had build a suit of armor in a cave, with Loki's help he would build them a spaceship or a devise to get to Xandar.

The soft orange morning light seeps into the room by the time Thor wakes up. Loki is still sleeping soundly but he looks far better than he did in the evening. Thor can tell he is no longer unconscious but merely regaining his strength. Thor strokes his cheek to gently wake him just to make sure that he is truly alright.

'Where are we?', the ravenette mumbles sleepily.

'Home.'

Green eyes open instantly. He frowns when he takes in the canopy of their bed as if he can't believe what he is seeing. The disbelieving stare lands on Thor, looking for assistance.

'Don't you remember?' Suddenly the blond is worried.

Loki's mouth opens several times. 'I thought it was a dream.'

Smiling Thor shakes his head. 'We're back.'

'The Aether?'

'Gone from your body and safely locked up in the weapon's vault.'

'Good.' He sinks back to the bed. 'What's up for today?'

'Nothing, love. Rest. Sleep and eat.'

'Do we really have time for that?', Loki asks with a sigh, then sits up, spotting the apple on the bedside table. 'For all we know our enemy has the Power Stone and we have not even any idea of where the Mind, Soul and Time Stone are. I'll look at my notes, maybe we will find something.'

After the Thanos mess on Midgard, Loki had not slept through a whole night, but the past months had been so stressful that he had slept despite the constant threat, if only because of the drain. His sleeping got a lot better, he didn't wake up screaming and fighting anymore, though how long that will last, with Thanos so freshly on his mind, Thor doesn't know. He pulls Loki closer, wraps his arms around the ravenette to comfort him and to keep him in bed a little while longer. He senses Loki wants to jump up and run into the library, to have something to do and not think about his own problems or himself.

There had been a strain on their relationship ever since they had entered the Citadel but it had become apparent there is something between them ever since their visit to the wrong Asgard. Thor doesn't know if Loki knows about the kiss or that he had initiated it. If he does, he hadn't let on. Thor feels guilty about it, can't remember why he did it. It had felt right at that moment, like he had to do it. Seeing his long lost girlfriend again had been a shock, finding her pregnant with his child confusing, saying good bye heartbreaking. He had wanted to talk to Loki about it, had wanted to confess but somehow there had never been the right time. It doesn't seem fair to keep it from him, nor fair to burden it on him. It's not like it could be repeated from Thor's part. What had driven him, he can't remember. He loves Loki and he stopped thinking about Elena a long time ago.

'I love you.', Thor whispers into Loki's ear, not sure if the ravenette can guess his thoughts.

Loki merely nods before extracting himself from Thor's arms and standing up. He grabs the apple as he withdraws to their dressing room. Last night had been an exception. Loki had not accepted much comfort, their couplings had been quick and usually not very intimately. He guesses, is Thor's only thought as he stands up and follows Loki. The ravenette is halfway through putting on his usual clothes for the day, a green tunic and some pants.

'Loki, talk to me.' Thor can't bring himself to just asks the question he wants answered.

He sighs. 'There is nothing to talk about. I am fine. Today I will get my notes and research some things for Tony. He will probably help me figure out a way how to get someone to the other side of the universe. Have the others figured out if they want to join us?'

'They want to come. What did you believe?', Thor informs him.

Loki shrugs but doesn't answer.

'Love, what is it?'

'Nothing.' He finishes getting dressed and wants to push past Thor but the blond stops him.

'Don't do this to me.', Thor says while putting his arms around Loki.

Loki shakes off his attempts. 'Thor, this is just the beginning. Don't you understand this? Whatever happens next will decide our lives but they surely will never be easy or the same ever again.'

'Don't think about it.' Thor tries to embrace him again but Loki retreats. He stands under a lot of pressure but isn't willing to share the burden he placed on his own shoulders. 'I will always be on your side, love.'

Loki huffs and is gone before Thor can think of a reason for him to do that.

xXxXx

Loki walks down the corridor as fast as he can to get some distance between himself and Thor. There is so much to be done, so much to occupy his mind with than the only thing it seems to want to linger on. He turns to the library to seek some solitude. He tries to act as if nothing happened but more and more often Thor makes that difficult. Each time his gaze turns distant and he ponders over something, Loki can tell that it isn't he who is on the blond's mind. And that hurts more than he cares to admit.

He can't even confront Thor about this matter. What would he say? It's not fair to assume he would never think about the past. Thor had believed him waiting in the forest when he said goodbye to their childhood friend. Had he known what he was about to witness Loki never would have stayed. Not knowing would be a blessing, not having to see a dream. If it would have been Elena kissing him, Loki could have lived with it. But no. It had been Thor who initiated the contact.

Loki shields his heart from the onslaught of emotions that threatens to overtake him when he thinks about his husband and his former friend. He had always known that he isn't good enough for Thor. For a while he had let himself believe to be enough for the blond but that was self-deception and daydreaming.

Really, what had Loki expected? For Thor to always be just there for him? To never cheat on him or desire someone else? He chides himself for such selfish thoughts.

Loki notices that he had stopped in the middle of a corridor. He shakes his head, then continues his way to the library and his personal study there he had gotten after their marriage.

It's of little consequence. There are more important things to ponder about. He would just have to live with it and stop being strange around Thor.

xXxXxXx

 **Hello! I sense some problems are ahead :D**

 **Right, disclaimers: Algrim and his story were taken for the best part from Thor Tales of Asgard (2011), an animated movie though I don't take the part with Surtur's sword. The incident a few decades ago Thor refers to is of course Peter Quill's abduction. And I couldn't resist to have Clint call them the Guardians of the Galaxy. :3**

 **Well, next week's update will be on Thursday, because one, one year of True Strength, and b, I am visiting my best friend on Saturday and she lives a loooong way from me so I probably won't have Internet for the best part of Saturday. With that said, I hope you enjoyed this. Till next week!**


	54. Chapter 52 Hunting

Hunting

 _You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.  
Rabindranath Tagore_

After two weeks, plans have been made, wounds have healed and memories have begun to fade. The mortals had left the realm eternal two days ago, Tony had joined them after only a day to partake in the further planning of their future course of action. But now that they had gone again, Asgard seems suddenly very void.

Loki sits in the library, Thor, who sits right next to him on another desk, had fallen asleep hours ago over some thick volumes about some reports the watcher before Heimdall had made, hoping to find a trace of the Infinity stones or a hint as to what to expect outside of the nine realms. If he had found something or not, Loki doesn't know.

Their honeymoon had been discontinued for the time being. Vanaheim and Alfheim would have to wait a little while longer for the crown prince and his husband to visit them because these tasks cannot be postponed. Manners and civility are nice in times of piece, but absolutely useless if the fate of the nine realms might be at stake. Fortunately the leaders of the other realms had agreed and offered up their libraries and scholars should Asgard be in need of anything. They all too well remember what happened on Midgard not long ago and they want no successful repetition of that.

Thor snores lightly, making Loki flinch violently. He rubs his eyes to concentrate on the tiny letters on the page again. His eyes hurt from the fickle candle light but the personal notes of Elena are fascinating. Just maybe not as interesting as they would be if Loki would have slept the last night. He is still weak from the exertions with the Aether in his body and the month-long journey through the realms. Apparently Elena had somewhere gained more knowledge of Thanos and his empires. Xandar most certainly is no part of his world which is good. How she had found this out, he doesn't know and isn't sure he wants to find out. Some pages even describe a specimen of the race that took her. Loki casts a wary glance over to Thor to see if he awoke but the blond is still soundly asleep.

He hadn't told Thor that he would read some scholar notes from Elena nor is he planning to do so. He is honest to himself, without that journey, without seeing his husband and his ex-lover, he would have never thought about going through her century old stuff to see if there is something worth reading. Loki could kick himself. Why had he never thought about this? She had spend almost as much time in Asgard's library as Loki had, of course she would maybe have found out a thing or two he might have read over or forgotten. If he just would have known what she researched, he would have spared himself quite some long hours in the library. Before she had vanished, been captured, she had filled whole note books with her tiny scripture about anything Elena had found out. Loki would love to know the origin of these information but unfortunately, though she had in short script wrote down the book names or something like that, he hadn't found one source of hers.

Loki had to venture to the disclosed part of the library to get her things where Elena had stored them so no one would read them till her return. The ravenette sighs when he has to read the whole last paragraph again to make sense to it. He is far too distracted and notices that his head more often than not drifts closer to the table. Had Thor felt like this when studying for the halls of learning back in their youth? Well then Loki will stop blaming him from not having paid enough attention ever again. Half of her notes he can't read because he doesn't understand the language which he cannot fathom at all where his former friend should have learned a script not used in the nine realms, a big part of the rest he doesn't understand because he lacks information which she probably had at the ready in her head or in another book she carried with her. It's frustrating but very insightful nonetheless.

With a sigh Loki closes the book and blows out the candle in front of him. Midnight has well past, dawn would come soon enough and call them from Asgard so Loki stands up and walks over to Thor's chair, gently nudging him so he would wake. Thor wakes with a start and looks around with a frown, trying to find out where he is.

'We should go to bed.', Loki tells him.

Thor nods, still not completely awake. Loki doubts he will remember this in the morning. He takes the candle from Thor's table and the blond's hand and leads them both through the empty corridor to their rooms. Loki is careful that his husband wouldn't fall over some carpets but eventually they reach the bedroom without further incidents.

Thor immediately falls head first into their bed and continues to snore almost immediately. Loki shakes his head with a fond smile and at least slips out of his clothes before lying down next to Thor and falling asleep a while later, trying to push the discoveries of the day from his mind.

The morning comes too soon all together. Loki feels like he merely closed his eyes for a second when a servant shakes him awake. Loki nods to signal him he can go and get breakfast for the two princes. Thor is still out cold. Loki nudges him with his foot, the blond hadn't moved all night from the spot on the lower half of the bed. For a short moment rage flares up in Loki's stomach and he wants to kick Thor's shoulder a little harder but he holds himself back. It's not his fault, Loki thinks with a sigh and stands up.

'Love, wake up.', Loki whispers when he shakes Thor's shoulder.

'What time is it?', Thor mumbles into the pillows Loki had placed under his head.

'Time to stand up and get our duties done.'

With a groan the blond turns around. 'Weren't we in the library?', he asks looking around the room. Thor holds out his hands to be dragged up. Loki sighs before taking his hands, preparing to pull up the not inconsiderable weight of his husband. But apparently Thor has other plans as he drags Loki down to the bed again.

Loki yelps in surprise when he lands half sprawled over Thor's chest. Their faces almost touch, Thor's hand comes up to shove some strands of the black hair form his face.

'I am not of much help for you.', Thor whispers with a fond smile. 'Thanks for pretending.' His gaze is so full of love Loki is inclined to believe him if only for it to not break his heart. 'Love you.' Thor kisses him hard and pulls Loki a little closer to his chest, the abruptly lets go. 'No need to scold me, my love.' Thor grins now, raising his hands in mock surrender. 'I am already up.' With that he swings himself out of bed, offering Loki a hand to stand up as well. Loki reluctantly accepts.

Thor draws him up and close to his chest. He rests their foreheads together. Loki can feel his breath fanning out over his face. The blue eyes almost glow from the intensity of Thor's gaze.

'Promise me nothing will change between us, whatever happens, whatever lies in front of us, promise me that. Promise me we will go home and it will be like in our honeymoon.', the blond whispers softly.

Loki feels the begging, the longing in Thor's words. A thin smile stretches his lips. 'I promise.', he says and he means it. 'Whatever happens isn't us. We won't let our love be defiled by Thanos and the hardships that we must pass to get to him.', he says, his smile growing more earnest.

'I love you more than words could ever tell.' Thor seems to want to add something but refrains himself.

'I love you too. It's you and me.'

'Against the rest of the galaxy.'

'Always.'

xXxXx

Loki has to take a deep breath when they land in the Central Park. The first trip to Earth after the Convergence had dropped them off outside of the nine realms. He tells himself that they wouldn't leave New York this time and surely wouldn't travel to London. He at least wouldn't go near there ever again.

Thor seems to feel his discomfort as he holds out his hand for Loki to take. This time not many people are in the park, snow covers the ground, dipping everything in a serene light. The sun had set already, or hadn't yet risen, Loki isn't familiar enough with the stars above New York to tell the difference, the light of the city blocks out too much. How long Bruce stood in this solace he doesn't tell them. The brunet man greets them with a smile. A car stands at the ready when they leave the park, they head for the Tower immediately. The clock in the dashboard tells Loki it's still very early in the morning. No surprise then that no Midgardians are outside. Also the temperature is quiet low, he guesses as Bruce's nose and his ears flare a brilliant red as soon as they are inside the warm car.

Thor and Loki each carry one of the heavy bags with everything they would be in need of. They had promised Tony a more accurate description of Asgardian science and had brought what they deemed the others should know about as well.

The Avengers Tower looks like it did when they left it behind the last time. The elevator ride is short. It's like stepping into a dream, even more unreal than Asgard seemed the first time Loki had his eyes on it after the Citadel. Something, anything, must be different. It is unnerving to find everything much the same. They are changed so much, somehow their environment fails to convey that.

'Hey guys!', Tony calls over, waving with his coffee cup. 'You're late. We, that means I, waited for hours. And poor Brucie looks half frozen.' A frown is edged on his face when he pushes a cup of the hot liquid in Bruce's hands.

'They are early, Tony.', Bruce sighs when accepting the mug.

'It's good to see you too. A little surprising to see you up this early, but good nonetheless.', Loki says.

'Haven't slept yet.', Tony informs him offhand. 'You got what we need?'

Loki raises his bag and nods. More than that hopefully.

'Good. I encountered some new problems while designing our means of travel. I could need your help with that. Maybe you know something we missed. Don't leave for that long again if you want results.', Tony warns him.

'It's true.' Bruce interrupts the tirade that is sure to follow. 'We've been gone from Asgard five minutes when he started nagging everyone about when you would finally come and join us. We can't do this alone.'

Loki nods. 'You have my undivided attention. I'll just leave to gain new information for us or whenever it is important. With Asgard everything is settled. Either Thor or me will always stay here. This needs to be done and the faster the better.'

'I totally agree.', Tony says in all earnest which speaks volumes about his lack of sleep. 'The others will sleep for another hour or two. Care to join me and Bruce in the lab for a short session, later we can meet the others and you can tell us all you found out about our target.'

'Sounds like a plan but shouldn't you sleep a little bit?' Loki frowns slightly when he sees Tony's foot tap a rhythm he can't figure out. It seems to be unconscious because the second Tony notices his stare, the tapping stops.

'Hmm? Don't know what you mean. I am wide awake. There are so many thoughts in my head, so many ideas, couldn't sleep if I tried.' Tony shrugs and already heads for the stairs, a new coffee mug in his hands.

'That reminds me, we might need your help with the scepter.', he throws in when he reaches the staircase.

Loki and Thor frown. The ravenette remembers Tony saying it got stolen, it seems like a lifetime past that they had stood in a different workshop downstairs and discussed the meaning of it.

Tony doesn't seem to notice their confusion, he just keeps speaking while going to the laboratory. 'SHIELD found it a few weeks before our return and they have their gaze on the lair. Until now it wasn't moved or anything.' Tony shrugs. 'We figured we all still feel a little wobbly and could use you in the fight. They surely won't give it up free willingly. And sure, Hulk could just smash it all but where would be the fun in that?' It seems to be the most ridiculous idea in his head.

'When are you planning to go?', Loki manages to ask before Tony could start talking about anything else. 'And why didn't SHIELD retrieve it when they already knew for months about its location? Don't they realize what danger the scepter poses?'

Tony stops him with a wave of his hand. 'Who knows? They probably found it highly unwise to attack a man who wields a scepter from another world and I can't really begrudge them that. Will you take it to Asgard once we have it back?' He turns half around to check if they are all still following, then enters the lab.

'Didn't you want to run some tests ?', Loki asks.

'Er, sure but I assumed we're working on this now.' Tony points at a bunch of blue prints on the table. 'And it's not as if it would be locked away for forever.', he sounds vaguely hopeful but Loki can tell his interest is fully on this project now. Tony would ask one day to examine the scepter, but it wouldn't be anytime soon.

'It would be unwise to have it on Asgard, it's a powerful weapon and Thanos already wants the Tesseract which lies with us. It should stay here should you feel able to keep it safe this time.', Thor decides, a sharp edge in his voice.

Tony doesn't notice the insinuation that Midgard wouldn't take its task serious. 'Great. I am already on the design of a containment unit though you'd have to look over it and tell me if it is magic proof and whatnot.' Loki raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything about the fact that Stark surely wouldn't just lock the scepter up and never touch it again. He can almost see Tony's hands itch to work with it now that he knows it will be in his reach.

Loki shakes that thoughts off and takes a closer look at the blueprints. He is impressed what the Midgardians made within such a short span of time. 'Are you sure you need my help?', he asks with a laugh. 'I am sure you could teach me yet a thing or two.'

'Sure, Lokes. We don't really know much about space travel and what to expect. And the space is another problem. We will need some room or we will kill each other before reaching Xandar. Even with the speed of light the travel will take years. Your calculations shorten that to a few months but still. We aren't.. easy.', he decides for that innocuous word.

Loki looks up from the prints. 'Space? Why would that be a problem?'

'Well, first thing, we have to launch it and have enough fuel to go to Xandar and back. Then we need space for the turbines, oxygen tanks, water supply, controls, we need to sleep somewhere and I don't know about you but bunk beds aren't really my style.', Tony rambles.

Thor frowns as well.

'That won't pose a problem.' To the questioning glance of Bruce and Tony, Loki merely answers with: 'Asgardian science.'

Tony blinks a few times. 'You can, what? Expand the room on the inside? Like in Doctor Who?', he sounds excited. Even Bruce pulls out his glasses just in case.

Loki hesitates. 'I have no idea who that is supposed to be, but yes. Then it's smaller on the outside.'

'Are you kid..?', Tony stops himself. 'Well, what did we expect from some crazy alien race? Anyway, so shoot, how does it work?', he prompts.

Loki hesitates for a moment. 'It is a little bit more complicated as to be explained in a matter of minutes. But don't worry about the space, build in what we need any way. If we want, we could fit it in a duffel bag, no matter the size your result will have. Just then it could take us more than months to reach our destination.', Loki interposes.

'Alright.' Tony accepts the delay for now. Loki doesn't kid himself by assuming the mortal wouldn't be nagging them until their answers would be sufficient for his understanding. 'I'll have Jarvis run some simulations to find the perfect size for fuel consumption and travel time. What do we need for that?', he asks, grabbing a tablet to write everything down.

'Nothing Thor and I can't get in a matter of hours. If you want to check it with your science equipment, I am sure we can lend you one of our bags, it contains the same kind of science.', Loki tells him.

Tony nods with enthusiasm. 'I always wondered how royalty like you got along with such tiny bags.', he quips.

'Alright. After we have settled and talked to our friends you can have it. I will be in need of a desk and a new bookshelf, though. I don't want to mix up or lose any of our things.'

'Would you mind if we digitized your findings? Then we could do research with your notes while they are with you.', Bruce says.

Loki nods in agreement. 'I would leave you the interesting books here but I am afraid without Thor or me you won't be able to draw much use out of them.'

'Okay, if Bruce won't do it, I will ask. The biggest problem, like the ultimate problem, is that we don't have a map. Brucie and I already talked to Jane and some other astrophysicists about Star maps and the like but we hoped you might have something better. The calibrations will otherwise need a long time and a hell lot of guessing. We figured out from some of Odin's descriptions the location of our destination planet.'

Loki thinks for a moment. 'I do believe we found a map. At least from a certain point. I'll show it to you when I find it. There is surely no whole map for the travel to be found in Asgard or the other realms. We will figure out a way.'

Tony had drawn up a map and points at a tiny yellow spot in the background. 'That's the star system Xandar is probably part of. But alright, Jay will deal with this and get us a whole map. It's far away from Earth so this could take a while. We don't know what we don't see on the photos. I want to avoid unpleasant surprises.' He fake shudders.

'I found some old tomes about worlds outside of the nine realms. Maybe with your knowledge of the quadrant we can use some of these.'

Tony smiles. 'Sounds like a plan.'

'I suggest we go meet the others.', Bruce says, apparently everything is settled for him. 'The others will be awake by now.' Loki looks to the windows, seeing that the sun had already risen. The orange sky is beautiful.

And right he is, Natasha and Clint already sit on the counter in the kitchen, Steve scurries around and makes breakfast for them. Thor and Loki are greeted with joy, words of friendship and hugs, then invited to join the group for breakfast. Tony already has the next cup of coffee in his hand. Loki makes a mental note to either concoct him a sleeping drought tonight to force the genius to sleep at least a little or to make his coffee a little more potent so he wouldn't drop his head in his eggs and bacon.

Though the Asgardians already had breakfast they don't mind the second snack in the morning. The others are just as interested in Loki's research as Tony and Bruce were. Loki stills their curiosity until after the meal so he would be able to have his notes so he wouldn't get anything wrong. He still doesn't confess exactly where he found the detailed information about the outer worlds.

'Fury called this morning by the way.', Natasha informs them after they had finished breakfast. 'He wants us to retrieve the scepter as soon as possible. He got intel on Strucker performing experiments on humans.'

Loki grits his teeth. SHIELD should have taken down that facility ages ago and not encouraged them to further use the alien object. He can tell the others feel much the same.

'He knows we're here, doesn't he?' Thor seems the only one quite unfazed by the prospect of a fight against some armed mortals who just want to shoot them. 'Well, tell him we will find the scepter and bring it back.'

'What? Today? No, no, no. I still have to get back in contact with my suit. And I don't want to leave Dum-E behind that fast, he is still traumatized by my sudden disappearance.', Tony pouts.

'Stark.' Clint groans. None of them really wants to leave again. Loki understands Tony's fear that something similar could happen again, it's a natural reaction the ravenette had gone through as well. The Bifrost had scared him long time after returning to Asgard, the fear it could collapse again, that the martyrdom wasn't over yet, didn't truly leave him. The fear of being stuck outside of the nine realms is still there in the back of his mind.

'Alright, alright. I know you need me. Jay, how far is the Mark 47?'

Loki raises his eyebrow when he hears the high number but doesn't judge the mortal. He had known Tony spent a lot of time in the lab to ensure being prepared for the next alien invasion.

'The actualization of the Mark 47 will be completed in the evening, Sir.', Jarvis informs him.

'There you go. So, how bout we rest for today, discuss some Avengers business, and retrieve the scepter instead of movie night? Sounds like far more fun.', Tony grins, acting like it had been his intention all along.

The others agree, they would also need time to get their equipment ready or in Bruce's case, to sleep a little before hulking out. Tony doesn't look like he would rest anytime soon. If it wouldn't be pointless, Loki would call him out on it.

Thor shoves the half-finished plate full of bacon to Loki but he declines. Thor looks worried for a second, then shrugs and continues to inhale the breakfast. Loki doesn't feel particularly hungry.

'What about your research?', Steve asks Loki to get back on track.

'It's getting along. I just need to know what we need to know. The drive I had in mind and Tony constructed with your technology should pose no further problems, I found out some things about Xandar and several worlds close to it. We might need to stop at one point during our journey, to fresh up our supplies or because of an emergency.'

'Or because one of us will freak out and try to bash our heads in. Who knows?' Tony shrugs nonchalantly.

Loki wouldn't put it past any of them. 'Whatever the reason..'

'Wait, where did you find that? The books you gave me were just about the nine realms with hints that there is something beyond that but not what that could be.' Thor looks slightly hurt.

The ravenette hesitates. 'I found a book in the back of the library. It contained a lot of important facts.', Loki lies with a smile. He isn't sure Thor believes him but it matters little. Loki stands up and heads for the hallway where their bags still stand and grabs his own. The clanking when he places it on the counter is clearly audible. For a moment he rummages in it, then Loki draws out some identical looking notebooks Tony had bought for him because he refused to be handed parchment. One there is for each of their friends, including Thor. His neat hand writing covers pages over pages. They carefully open the books, leaving through it.

'Most of this is technically information mostly for Tony and Bruce. It's all there was about Thanos and Xandar which we didn't know about before.'

Tony gives a low whistle. 'Wherever you got this stuff from, it's fantastic. It will, I don't know, push our research for years. How do you know Xandar's atmosphere is breathable for us?'

'There was a book about other planets and their inhabitants, no pictures unfortunately but explicit descriptions.', Loki explains. 'Maybe in time I can find out a little more. I heard from the king of Alfheim about some books we should take a look into. Thor will stay with you here, I'll leave you my books, and I will travel to Alfheim in the morning or whenever this is settled.'

'They could have a card?', Bruce asks.

'Anything is possible. But yes, if someone within the nine realms has a map of areas outside of it, it's the Elves.' Loki hesitates briefly. 'There is just a small problem with one of the races we could encounter, as far as I have knowledge. The most direct way would most probably take us through Kree territory. It was their territory anyway a long time ago but we have no means to either prove nor any indication to assume these information outdated.'

'Would you care to elaborate?', Steve had given up trying to read and listen to Loki at the same time.

'The Kree are a highly aggressive warrior race. They surely wouldn't let us pass in peace to their sworn enemies, the Nova Empire.'

'What if they control Xandar already?', Natasha asks, her eyes fixed on the booklet.

Loki sighs. 'We'll have to risk it then. The closest route around their known territory would take us a few months longer but only if our information are correct and they haven't spread further into space.' That would be highly unacceptable.

'Can't we fight our way through if they get aggressive?', Clint interjects.

'I am not building a war ship. Some basic weapon systems, sure, but certainly we won't take an army with us to fight some strange aliens who haven't noticed us here until now.' Tony shakes his head, gritting his teeth in defiance. 'I won't risk Earth's safety for a lousy few months.'

'I have figured out a way to look beyond the veil of the nine realms, it will allow me to cast a glance on our route. Maybe it will give us an idea as to what we have to expect. For the spell I need some help from the Jotnar though.', Loki tells them.

'You'll go there straight from Alfheim?', Thor sounds slightly disappointed.

'Yes. I will let any information be delivered to you as soon as I get them. Don't hesitate to let me know your questions and the needs for your technology. Thor knows how to contact me. I'll then sit down and consider that priority.'

'Got that. We'll first take care of the scepter, from tomorrow on Brucie and I will work nonstop on the blueprints and I'll get the NASA to lend us their equipment to build a space ship. Some basic parts are ready for construction already. How long do you think you will need?'

Loki ponders over that. 'Depending on if they know where I can find what I am looking for. A few weeks, maybe one and a half moons in your time. You?'

'A little longer it might take. Give me three months. The Iron Legion may work fast but.. Scratch that, I'll just buy one of the hangars and the equipment from the NASA, and install Jarvis. That'll save us at least a month. What do you say, buddy?' Tony grins again now that he has something to do.

'With full access the estimated time for the construction of the parts that are already designed and an estimation of the parts will be needed additionally, is one month and twenty days, not including accidents and unprecedented mistakes and new designs.' Jarvis's voice is soothing, Loki hadn't realized he missed it that much.

'There you go. Another week for installing Jarvis and calibrating the Legion. Makes two months. Give or take two weeks.', Tony states.

'Wonderful. I wouldn't have expected you to be that fast.', Loki admits.

Tony shrugs. 'You have a lot of time when you live on coffee.'He grins. 'And Jay can work 24/7 when provided enough power.'

xXxXx

'What are you doing there, Tony?'

When Bruce had entered his workshop or why Jarvis hadn't warned him, Tony doesn't know. It most certainly is pointless to block the view of the doctor and hope he would quietly forget what he saw.

'Hey, Bruce. Didn't see you there, buddy.' Still, there is no harm in trying.

'Isn't the scepter supposed to be locked up in your vault? And you should work on our project..' Two days ago the Avengers had infiltrated the Hydra facility and taken a hold of the scepter. The minor occurrence with the mutants who were 'triggered' by the scepter none of them had dared to discuss of yet.

Tony sighs, then drops the farçe. 'I have already finished with all the preparations. Jay runs some simulations right now so I got some spare time.'

'And what are you doing there with the scepter? Barton would rip your head off if he knew it was here and not locked up.', he states.

Tony shrugs. 'He'd understand.'

'Understand what?' Bruce frowns now.

'We will leave Earth for an extended period of time.' Tony leans against the counter now, crossing his arms. 'What if Thanos comes here in the meantime. Or any other alien species? What if we piss off these Kree-freaks? What if they want revenge and then come here to take it? Earth is left rather unprotected without us. I don't want to make us more important than we are, I really don't.' Tony raises his hands. 'I am just saying that without us there is a serious low on super heroes. I feel bad for leaving these people alone. I mean, SHIELD can take care of Hydra and the likes, but what if another Chitauri invasion comes flying our way?'

Bruce sighs. He leans on the table across from Tony. 'I get it, I was thinking the same. We parried the last attack, what if Thanos finds another way to Earth during our absence? If there is no home to return to. But what on Earth has that to do with that?', Bruce points at the blue glowing scepter.

'Jarvis analyzed it. I believe Ultron is possible.' Content with himself, Tony smiles at the screens, inviting Bruce to take a look.

'Ultron?' Bruce is more fascinated than really shocked. He takes out his glasses to look at the screens Tony had drawn up. The scans of the scepter are displayed. 'Is that what I think it is?', he asks after taking everything in.

'An Artificial Intelligence. Something close to a real mind, like a brain. I am trying to tap into it.'

'That could change the world, Tony.'

'It would certainly make me feel better to have a system able to fight off aliens at home while we fight them off on the other side of the galaxy. Will you help me?', Tony asks. 'Doing this and designing the ship will be a task even too big for me, I fear. And I'd rather not tell Loki why there was a delay.'

'He would understand it.'

'No.', he says immediately. 'He has suffered too much from that glow stick. He wouldn't accept anything that comes from it. And I don't think Earth's security is something that has crossed his mind. Thor offered Asgard's warriors, but I doubt that will be enough.'

'Secret project?' Bruce raises his eyebrows, his eyes flitting already back to the screens.

'Can I count you in?', Tony asks with a smile, already knowing Bruce answer.

A small smile plays around the corners of Bruce's mouth when he glances away from the screen. 'Of course. What did Hydra do with it? Are you any further on that?', Bruce turns back to more practical things. Jarvis is still trying to coax the mind out of the scepter.

'I fear the enhanced have something to do with it. And that kinda scares me. This thing is too powerful to be in anyone's hands.' Tony motions to the scepter. 'But we need to try. Do you understand what an opportunity this is?'

'Sure. We could change the world, make it safe, end the fight. I'd just suggest not doing it here.', Bruce says.

Tony frowns.

'Thor. You really think he will be more thrilled than Loki about this?'

'Point Break is a warrior.', Tony argues.

'Meaning he doesn't want to end the fight, he wants to win it. He wants to beat Thanos on a battle ground and not while he is gone looking for the weapon to do it.', Bruce points out.

The brunet frowns. He gets that Bruce is right but it still doesn't make much sense. 'But no one would get hurt. None of our friends would have to die anymore. We could go on living normal lives and let Ultron work for us.'

'It won't help us against the Infinity Stones.', Bruce points out. 'We won't get a normal life by just eliminating one threat.'

'But it would be a start. I would love to see new worlds, to meet alien races, to be the first human in history to ever fly with a space ship to the stars. But I can only do that if I don't have to fear for my planet in the meantime.', Tony admits.

Bruce raises his arms in surrender. 'Whatever helps you sleep. As I said, I am in. Just tell me what we need to have done.'

Tony smiles at his friend. 'Thanks, Bruce. Let's get to work then.'

With Bruce's help, Tony calculated, he would need even less time than anticipated to complete both his projects in time and have some spare time to fix his newest suit though he already plans to finish it on the ship once they'd left Earth.

Earth would be safe, he would expand his horizon, everything would be fine.

xXxXxXx

 **Yes, because what possibly could go wrong? ;)**

 **First off, Thank you, dear Guest for your lovely review :3 The very first that has reached me for … 15 chapters. It's good to know someone is still reading this. So, thanks and love to you. We will have a lot of time to see more of them.**

 **Second, the Doctor Who reference, how could I resist. Tony's 'Are you fucking kidding me?' of course is a reference to Clara's exclamation that the Tardis is not 'bigger on the inside' but rather 'smaller on the outside'.Hope someone could appreciate that. The idea of Asgardians being able to do this is not from me either but from the 2011 (?) series Avengers Assemble (the explanation I think in episode one, season one, as to why Thor's room is so much bigger than everybody else's).**

 **The story of the Kree is mostly from Guardians of the Galaxy, but our heroes of course don't know yet of the end of the war with all their outdated information and everything.**

 **This is part one of this chapter because it got ridiculously long again, next part will follow on (next) Saturday. Yes, which brings me to my last point. Thanks for sticking with me in this long year or for joining the journey at one point or another. I can't believe my story got this big, that's also thanks to all of you. :3 Seriously, when I first posted this, I thought I would lose interest after at the top, 20 chapters. Well, look where we are now. So, as a little prospect, from the end of this chapter we will leave the movie'verse behind us finally and journey forth to places no man (or woman) has seen before. Allons-y!**

 **(I know it's the 'wrong' doctor for the earlier quote.)**


	55. Chapter 52 Hunting Part 2

Hunting #2

Loki stands in the library of Alfheim. The big hall, at least trice the size of Asgard's throne room for a public audience, is full to the brim with knowledge of ancient generations, the scrolls pile up to the high ceiling in oaken bookshelves. The bright day light falls in through the high windows on each side of the corridors and from the ceiling, dipping the room in a cozy light, perfect for reading. Somewhere in these halls has to be the answer he is looking for. How the Elves managed to get information from outside of the nine realms is beyond him but Loki is glad they did. Just where should he start looking? Loki stands lost in the quell of knowledge.

There are hundreds of shelves, sometimes no sorting is to be expected when he draws out one roll about the war with Muspelheim and one about botany from the same shelf. He chews on his lip. This will most certainly take moons if he is to read through all these papers on his own and because Thor has to stay on Midgard to explain what they consider basic knowledge and what Loki might have missed writing down for the Midgardians, there is no help in sight.

The big wooden doors behind Loki open. The ravenette doesn't has to turn around to know who draws closer.

'Are you looking for something special?', the king asks friendly.

Loki hesitates for a moment, still looking around. He clutches the book from Elena to his chest. 'Maybe.', he says eventually. Without the help of the one having collected this impressive amount of books, there is probably only the choice of reading each and any of these scriptures and then there is still a pretty high chance of missing what he is searching. Trusting an ally is necessary in this special predicament. 'I am looking for books from outside of the nine realms.' Loki believes to remember Elena being friends with the young king in their youths.

The blond elf frowns. 'That will be very problematic. I fear, you have made your way for nothing, my Prince.' He tilts his head slightly but keeps his eyes fixed on Loki. The ravenette had told the king that he is looking for certain information and he would need to see his library for that, a request which has of course been granted. Since they hadn't told the other realms what exactly they are looking for, none had helped Loki yet with the acquiring of information. It would only spread panic if they knew what exactly the Princes of Asgard and their Midgardian friends were planing. Still, there is no other way.

'But there has to be something. There need to be information.', Loki insists. His hopes sink already. The king must probably know about every book in his private collection, especially about treasures like that which none other holds in the nine realms. 'Elena must have gotten the information from somewhere.'

At the mention of that name, his pale eyes brighten. 'Elena?' He chuckles. 'Didn't she tell you?' His gaze drifts off as if he remembers something pleasant. His position seems to amuse the king of Alfheim greatly.

Loki frowns. 'Tell me what?', he inquires maybe a bit too pointed.

The fond but sad smile doesn't leave the king's face. He seems to ponder over the answer for a few moments, then seems to come to a decision. 'Well, she is long dead, it won't do any harm.' He sighs. 'Elena wasn't from the nine realms. She visited Alfheim, we met when I was a little boy, she told me about herself eventually and I helped her to cover.', he says as if it would be the most normal thing to say.

'Where was she from? And why was she here?' Loki's head swirls.

'Elena was here to study out culture, to learn, or rather to see with her own eyes what she had learned. Then she came frequently to study and I guess also because she found friends.' Here he smiles openly at Loki again. 'She used to teach me some things about the other worlds.' His face darkens at these thoughts. 'She came from a world where they know us but we know little about them. It was a small planet, as I understood it. Is that hers?' His eyes find the notebook in Loki's hands.

Loki nods, holding out the booklet for him.

He takes it as if it would be something precious. It hits Loki that it probably is. A frown comes to his graceful face. 'You know about the Kree?', he asks, not waiting for an answer. 'She taught me of that despicable race of monsters. Her planet was taken over, half of them were killed instantly, the others living as slaves.' His tone is bitter, his mouth contorted.

'How do you know she is dead?' Maybe she is still a prisoner, a slave to the Kree. Loki isn't sure if that would be preferable but he can't help but hope and be afraid. What if she still lives? They would pass Kree territory. What if Thor would seek to save her? Would end up falling for her again? His heart constricts but he refuses to wish ill upon his former friend.

The king had opened the book and stares now at her scripture. 'She was able to smuggle some messages here. We had a special paper, it would work both ways. That's how I know about the invasion. Her planet became part of the Kree Empire. There was some magic she weaved in this world, her magic was strange, so different from ours and yet similar enough. She said the magic would never stop working for as long as she lived. It was me who told the All-father about her death. It was black day for all of us.' The anger has vanished from his face to be replaced by utter sadness. The elves are not said to live in the past for nothing.

'I am sorry.', Loki whispers.

'As I am.' He remains silent for some moments. 'Her notes are still here. Every now and then I used to read a little in them, she taught me their language even though she preferred Sindarin. I just don't keep them for everyone to read and find. I don't know if you will find what you are looking for. But you were a friend of hers as well. I will grant you access.' He looks up again and hands Loki the book. There isn't quite a smile on his face, but something similar.

'I thank you, my Lord.'

The king nods, then motions with his hand towards the exit of the library. They walk down some corridors to the royal wing of the palace. They end up in what Loki believes to be the personal rooms of the king. In the library everything is sorted in boxes and shelves, a private archive.

'This is everything she left behind. May I ask for where you are leaving?', the king asks when they had passed some moments in silence in the room which is full of dust.

'Is it that obvious?' Loki chuckles. 'Xandar.'

The king nods thoughtful. 'I do believe to have read about it somewhen. Feel free to search for it. Take your time, you may take the boxes to your chamber or I'll have the guards carry them there for you.'

'I thank you. Also for telling me.', Loki adds.

A wistful smile comes to the king's face. 'I am surprised she didn't tell you. I was always under the impression that she and your husband were rather attached to one another.'

Loki grinds his teeth and has to swallow some rather vicious replies. 'I guess so. Elena will have had her reasons.', he forces out.

'I am sure she had.', he says. 'Good luck, my Prince. Hopefully you will find what you are looking for.' The king inclines his head, then he leaves Loki alone. Some minutes later several guards enter the room and start to carry the boxes and papers into Loki's room.

When he stands amidst the whole extent of Elena's work, Loki is a little shocked. It is far more than he would have anticipated, it could take him weeks to work through this on his own. And there is no chance the king of Alfheim would let him borrow these valuable documents. In the small library it hadn't looked this much.

With a sigh Loki draws one of the few dozen boxes to his desk and starts to systematically unpack it. There is a lot of texts, the language of which he can't even decipher. Maybe he could ask the king about it later on, he had said he would understand her language and Loki believes that is what this is.

With Stark's specific directions in his mind, Loki starts searching through what he understands while continuing to look for a map or something similar.

With a sigh Loki goes to his luggage and pulls out his note book. Then he rings for a servant to get some food and wine. This would take a while.

xXxXx

'How is the ship coming along?', Loki asks though he doesn't really seem overly interested in an answer if the frown on his face and his concentrated gaze on the paper in front of him are any indication.

'Friend Tony says greatly.', Thor informs his husband nonetheless. He hadn't much to do since Loki left, Stark is working mostly on his own with Banner and doesn't need Thor's help very often. Thor doesn't doubt that this is true, the mortal is clever enough to give Loki a run for his money, as Clint would say. Most of their problems they would figure out on their own. That just left Thor with the problem of being unneeded and bored.

'Good.' Thor doubts Loki would have reacted any differently if he would have told him all their work had been for nothing and the basic constructions blew up.

'What are you reading there?', Thor leans over to look at Loki's book which he had brought with him from Alfheim but the ravenette suddenly shuts the book with force but not before Thor could catch a glimpse of an oddly familiar scripture.

'Just some things about the Kree. I need to talk to our friends.', he says quickly.

Loki had arrived late in the night, or rather early in the morning. Stark and Banner had surprisingly been asleep for once and as Loki was tired himself, they postponed the meeting for the morning so everyone could hear the newest developments at once. Thor had hoped that Loki would catch some sleep but he had been too obsessed with the books with which he had spend the past three weeks. He tries not to be jealous of any kind. Soon enough they would spend a few months on a confided ship with Loki being unable to go out of his way.

'Alright. Are you hungry?', Thor asks, still gazing at the strange book. It is handwritten.

Loki shakes his head, then grabs a few loose pages and heads out of the room without further conversation. Thor stops him in the doorway.

'Darling.' Thor kisses his forehead. 'We will make this.' He entwines their hands and forces the ravenette to look at him. His face doesn't show the tenderness they usually share in these moments. Thor smiles encouragingly, then leans in for a kiss. 'Don't worry so much. You're doing so much for all of us, please rest tonight. Let us have a free night before you leave for Jotunheim again.'

'I don't have time for this, Thor.' Loki frowns.

'Please, love. I miss you greatly.' Thor pouts slightly.

Loki looks down and sighs. When his eyes meet Thor's again, there is a little sparkle back. 'Fine but just tonight. We have much work to do.'

'I know, and I only ask you for one night, my beloved.', he reminds him. 'You also need to rest.' Thor lets his fingers caress the beginning shadows under Loki's eyes. Thor wonders if he had slept at all this night or any before that.

'I can rest enough when this is done.', Loki insists, stubborn as ever.

A small smile tugs at his mouth. 'We need your strength. And if you work yourself to death, you'll do no one a favor.' Thor tilts his head to the side, carding his hand through the rich black hair. 'I worry about you. You need a break.'

Loki shakes his head, effectively evading Thor's eyes once more. 'There is really no need for that.'

'Please, just one night. One night where you don't think about this.' Thor's hand glides down to where Loki clutches his papers under his arm. 'And just about us. Didn't you miss me?', he asks with a small smile, still praying that the answer wouldn't be negative. Something is the matter between them and Thor starts to doubt it is only the pressure on his husband.

'Of course I did.' Loki forces a smile. 'I love you.' He sighs. 'I am sorry I have neglected you for the past weeks. Please, forgive me, love.' It doesn't sound quite genuine to Thor but he goes for it nonetheless.

'There is nothing to forgive, Loki. I love you. I understand what responsibilities have been placed on you. Just tell me when I can help you and how I can ease the weight on your shoulders.' He kisses Loki. 'Know you can always come to me.'

Loki nods, his smile is more genuine than before, brightening Thor's heart.

The discussion with the others turns out to be very fruitful. Tony is almost done with the complete design and has build a big part of the exterior parts. The engine and the seize still worry him but Loki reassures them that there is nothing of significance to these problems.

Loki for his part enlightens them with a variety of information about the species in the outer parts of the nine realms, including some of the planets they might want to stop on on their way to Xandar should they be in need of supplies or the like. He surprises them with plans for a breathing mask for the mortals if one of the planets atmospheres should prove to be irrespirable for them.

'That's cool. Did you also find that map?', Tony asks, looking over the blueprints Loki had drawn.

'Yes, I guess if we could figure out a way to read this data storage device then we would have a map.' Loki pulls out a strange, flat, round object and hands it over to Stark. He takes a look at that too, the blueprints lying forgotten on the table for the moment.

He whistles low. 'Wow. Never seen the like before. But yeah, I can figure this out. Where did you get this?', he inquires, his eyes still fixed on the thing, working out ways to get to the information stored on it.

'Alfheim.', Loki answers a little too fast.

Thor frowns. 'I have never seen this kind of technology on Alfheim. And why do they have maps of the stars?' He watches Loki closely and can see his walls coming up, how the masque slips over his face to not belie his words. 'Loki, you don't need to lie. If you don't want to tell us, well, I am sorry that you think you can't trust each and everyone of us. But there is no need to lie. We will accept it, whatever your reasons may be for not wanting us to know.', he adds before Loki can say something.

Loki sighs when Thor reaches out his hand to hold his.

'Actually I just want to know if someone will follow us because they are missing this glorious piece of technology.', Tony says casually when no one says something.

'No, no one will mind that we have it.', Loki says not as angry as he usually would when someone implied for him to have stolen something. 'The person it belonged to is dead. I guess she wouldn't mind us using it.'

Thor looks up at that. Could it possibly be? 'Elena?'

Loki hesitates for a moment, then he nods as if it doesn't matter anymore.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Thor stops himself. 'What else have we to discuss?', he asks. This is not for the ears of the others. Loki looks a little insecure, he doesn't want to embarrass his husband in front of their friends.

Loki shakes his head as well as Stark. The ravenette looks ready to bolt out of the room when they all agree to end this and go after their respective tasks. Thor takes a hold of Loki's hand so he wouldn't just run off. Maybe after all it's none of his business why Loki kept it a secret. It must have been her book he had shut earlier. When everyone files out of the room, they stand up as well.

Tonight isn't about Elena though. Should Loki truly worry because of a dead woman he used to like, then it is time to prove him wrong. Thor pulls him close to his side, looping an arm around his waist.

'Thor..', Loki sighs in defeat.

'We wanted to go out. You promised.', he whispers with his lips on Loki's forehead. He doesn't want to know why he kept this from him. He will have had his reasons. Elena is the past, he has to show Loki that only he matters for Thor. 'We could take a walk through the park, then eat lunch somewhere and then maybe..', Thor runs his hand a little further down, 'retire a little early.'

'Maybe we could visit the art museum after lunch.', Loki suggests.

'Whatever you want, my love.' Thor presses a kiss on his forehead.

xXxXx

Loki is on still on Jotunheim when Tony decides to throw a party because the engine has been completed. And Jarvis is close to get into contact with the intelligence hidden away in the scepter. That's the second unofficial reason but only he and Bruce know about this. The Avengers minus Loki who had declined Tony's invitation, sit in the big living room long after their guests had left the Tower to goof around a little and enjoy the little buzz. Thanks to Thor's Asgardian ale, even Steve wears a goofy grin. So much for can't get drunk, Tony thinks while sipping on his drink.

They are laughing when everything goes to hell. A robot of the Iron Legion suddenly bursts into the room, the eyes burning in an eery red. When he begins to speak, Tony is taken aback to not hear Jay's soothing voice but a darker, more threatening one. He seems confused but is at least sure about one thing. The Avengers can't really be allowed to live. Only seconds later a few more robots come crashing into the room and try to pick them apart Steve's got his shield at the ready, Tasha never goes anywhere without her guns, neither is Barton. Since Thor's beloved hammer had already purged on the table, so it found the hand of its master easily. Bruce is probably hiding somewhere to not smash the whole Tower, so Tony is glad he needs not worry about him.

The attack is uncoordinated and since Tony is the one who build the robots, taking them out is not that much of a problem as long as they all evade the repulsor rays jetting through the room every now and then. Just the first robot who called himself Ultron still stands but the blond Asgardian quickly remedies that fact as well.

'What was that?' Thor pants a little bit, Mjolnir doesn't leave his hand just yet. His eyes dart around the room, looking for a new adversary.

Tony breathes hard. 'Ultron.', he forces out. Taking down these robots without his armor hasn't been as much fun as he had believed. Jumping from a landing to deactivate them with a screwdriver without being hit by them is neither.

'Ultron? Stark, the hell did he come in? Are we under attack?', Clint looks around as if expecting to fight more of this sort. 'And why did he look like your Iron Legion?'

Tony sighs. It doesn't matter if he denies it any longer, the dear doctor would surely break as soon as one dark glance lands on him once he comes out of hiding. 'Ultron was supposed to be our new defense system. How was I supposed to know he would think us to be threats?', Tony snaps. 'The program must have taken over one of Jarvis' bodies.'

'YOU did this?' Steve is shocked.

He shrugs. 'Well, it's not like we could just leave Earth and let the Aliens play with it while we're gone! None of you even considered that option. I had to do something.' He crosses his arms in defiance. He had to do something.

'Why didn't you tell us?', Steve wants to know.

'It's not like you would actually approve of this.', Bruce intervenes. Tony would thank the passive man later for sticking up for him. 'We used Thanos' scepter to create an AI that would be able to fight off aliens. So that something like New York would never happen again.', he explains.

'So you decide to build some homicidal maniac robot to kill us all and threaten the people? He said he killed someone.'

'There is no one here but us. And it wasn't to be expected. Ultron said something about evolving. He was supposed to only attack threats to humans. Apparently he sees us as such a threat.' Tony sighs.

'I can't believe you, Stark.' Steve groans. 'What are we supposed to do now?'

Tony shrugs. 'He must have fled through the Internet. We gotta catch him and stop him from killing us and/or humanity.'

'But we killed him.', Thor insists.

'I doubt that. He left the body, and is now probably looking for a new one.', Tony sighs. Why does this shit always has to happen to him? There must be a joke he is missing. 'I'll go to the lab, check the damage.' Tony just has to get away from the accusatory stares of his friends.

'Jay, report.', he says as soon as the doors hiss open. There is no reply but the interface Tony had created for Ultron was ripped apart as if something tore free. 'Jay, you okay? I'm not mad, pal.' Tony smiles softly before his eyes land on the blue sphere he had shown Bruce earlier which represented Jarvis' programming. Ultron's words about someone dying come unbidden to his mind. 'Jarvis.', he tries again but there is still no reply.

'Jarvis. Please talk to me, buddy.' Tony screws his eyes shut, then lets his forehead rest on the table. His eyes sting with tears. He had left his friend alone with this strange thing without any protections, defenses, without even thinking about it. 'Jay.' There still is no answer. Slowly the knowledge that his oldest and maybe best friend won't answer ever again. Tony killed him. This is all his own fault. How could he be so reckless as to take something Thanos used and try to use it himself to protect the people he loves? Of course it would only bring pain and misery. Tony lifts his head and looks at the blank screen. He pats the screen with a sad smile. 'I am sorry, pal.' A world seems to end.

'Tony?'

Tony doesn't turn around to face Steve. He stares at the monitor, fighting the urge to smash it. Another death that's on his consciousness. And for what? A new threat he himself created like so many demons before.

'Tony, listen. I shouldn't have yelled at you. We.. we understand this. You're right, we were more concerned with Thanos than with our own world. That wasn't right. Tony?', Steve slowly approaches when Tony makes no move to acknowledge his existence.

Steve steps closer and puts a hand on the brunet man's shoulder.

'Are you alright?'

'Jarvis.', he says quietly so his voice wouldn't break.

Tony doesn't has to turn to see the frown on his face. Then it clicks in his head. 'He didn't.', Steve sounds as shocked as Tony is. Some tears well up but he refuses to let them fall.

He nods sadly. 'Jarvis tried to shut him down, to stop him. I can't believe he is gone.' To say it feels like condemning his friend.

Steve puts his arm around Tony. 'I am sorry. This wasn't your fault.', he says quietly though Tony knows he is lying.

'Yes, it was. It is. Now I gotta figure out a way to destroy Ultron, an intelligence that evolved from humans protection system to its worst threat in less than ten minutes.' He sighs. 'I will avenge Jay. At least that I owe him.'

Steve nods. 'Can't you repair this?' He motions at what used to be a blue orb.

Tony shrugs. 'It could take years. And he wouldn't be the same anymore anyway.'

xXxXx

Loki is sitting calmly in the library of Jotunheim when suddenly the piece of paper in his pocket becomes glowing hot. He pulls it out, a little irritated to be interrupted during his research.

"Help, hurry!"

Loki recognizes Thor's scrawl and his heart skips a beat. He has no time to question the meaning of the message. Within a moment he has jumped up from the table and teleports to Midgard in a hurry, locating Thor instantly. Loki barely feels the ground underneath his feet when he has to use magic to block one robotic looking thing from jumping him.

He has to disassemble three more before he can turn to Thor. They are standing in a narrow street crossing, Thor looks battle worn and tired and dirty. A small smile tugs at Thor's mouth but then new robots are coming and Loki has to turn away from his husband again.

'Where are we?', Loki asks loudly to drown out the sounds of metal being torn apart. He doesn't has to ask again why Thor believed to need his help.

'Sokovia.', is Thor's short answer.

Loki turns half around to glare at him. 'Am I supposed to know where that is?', he snaps.

Thor chuckles, stretching out his hand for a moment to touch Loki before swinging Mjolnir again to beat the robots back. 'Somewhere on the other side of the world.'

'What are these things? Why are they attacking us?'

'Long story short, the city we're in is floating and will destroy all life on Earth and these robots and their leader try to stop us from stopping them.' Thor doesn't sound the least bit concerned. Then again, he never is during a battle. Loki always envied that.

Loki nods and blasts some more of the things away. 'Should I ask why?' The last of the robots fall. At least the last that are in the street Loki had landed in.

'Later, love. I am glad you are here.' Thor turns around and pulls him into a quick kiss. 'I am not sure we would make it without you.' Thor stares right into his eyes, a small smile still on his face.

'This isn't going for a few moments. Why didn't you call me before?', Loki demands to know.

Thor shrugs, then lets go of him. 'I hoped we would make it and manage to finish the building of the ship without interrupting your research.'

Loki rolls his eyes and swears to reprimand Thor later for this nonsense. 'Never do this again.'

Thor seems relieved. 'Promise. Let's find the others.'

Loki nods, then follows Thor who runs off to the center of the city. On their way they fight some of the robots which attack humans who haven't been evacuated.

'Can you get them from this island?'

Though Loki doesn't understand the question, he agrees and motions the Midgardians to gather around him. He has no real idea as to where they are so he decides to not teleport but float them out of the city. As soon as they leave the city border, Loki almost falls from his floating island. The city is suspended in midair and rises higher steadily. Now that he can see the ground, Loki quickly teleports the group down.

'Norns.' Loki feels like fainting. What is happening here? He ignores the thanks from the Midgardians, they are also frightened beyond words.

He concentrates on Thor and goes back to his side. The room or rather the walls surrounding them, remind Loki of a church like he had seen on Midgard, only far smaller than the place Steve once showed them. Most of the Avengers are here, their eyes turning on him when he pops from thin air.

Loki narrows his eyes at the strange woman who seems to help them and at the flying red skinned man whom he neither had seen before. He shakes his head and instead concentrates on the robots advancing from all sides. There would be enough time later to ask about these strange figures.

'What is happening?', Loki asks, eyeing the strange devise they seem to protect.

'Just protect that stupid thing!', Stark yells over from the other side when a new salve of the robots come in to fight them. Whatever they want with that button, it can't be good and his friends try to prevent that from happening. Stark's repulsor rays almost drown out all other sounds.

There are thousands of these robots and though they are smashed easily enough, their sheer numbers threaten to overwhelm the heroes. Tony develops the brilliant plan to blow up the city before it can smash into the ground and destroy all life on Midgard. Loki ignores the bigger robot who calls himself Ultron. It doesn't matter who he is. Not now at least. Loki first fights with magic to keep the robots at bay, later with his daggers when he feels their numbers aren't dwindling as fast as his powers.

Thor grabs Loki's hand just when the stone beneath his feet begins to crumble. Loki would usually offer to teleport them to the ground but he doesn't feel the need to prove himself. Thor gets a better hold of him, holding him close to his chest. He carries them down to where the big planes had landed on the Helicarrier. Thor stumbles slightly but Loki doesn't feel much better. Tony lands near them just as Steve and the rest come out onto the landing platform. All of them look worn out and ready to collapse. Tony ejects his armor almost instantly, it is a heap of scrap metal at the best anyway.

'What was that about?', Loki finally demands to know.

'That was me trying to protect the world I live in! You got no right to judge me.', Tony yells, taking it as an accusation immediately. Loki doesn't understand anything at first, then the pieces fall into place. Of course it had been Stark who had build a defense system that eventually turned on himself.

'I told you Asgard would keep your realm save. What were you thinking?', Loki yells back, shaking with anger. 'You could have killed us all just because of your stubbornness.'

'You think I wouldn't know?! But someone had to do something!', he defends his motivation.

With a frustrated growl Loki stalks over to where Tony stands and wraps his arms around the man. 'Don't you ever do something that reckless ever again. I can't lose any more friends.'

Tony, who had obviously expected something else, gradually relax in the embrace when Loki doesn't try to hit him or anything, and accepts the comfort offered.

xXxXxXx

 **Well, hello there! Thank you for the favorites I received, it warms my heart to know that people still read this. Sigh. Well, that was the Age of Ultron interlude, it technically was just there so we get to meet Vision and (as she comes kinda with him attached on the hip) Wanda. Yeah, so we will now that this is settled leave Earth behind us kinda soon and well, what then happens is still kind of a secret so you'll have to wait a bit to find out ;)**

 **I am not overly content with this chapter, I skipped a lot and kinda demand that you remember a big part of the movie but I didn't want to take credit for stuff I didn't write. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. See you next week, same time, same place :)**


	56. Chapter 53 The September

The September

 _"Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?  
L.M. Montgomery _

Loki sighs, then lets go of Tony. He turns to the rest of the group. His eyes land on the brown haired female and on the red skinned man. In vain he searches for the other white haired male he had seen earlier, if only briefly. The woman looks very sad, he suspects they might have been either related or otherwise close and something happened to him. A lot of people died on that falling rock. He looks down for a moment. It feels horrible to know he maybe could have done more if he had been here earlier. He should have returned after finishing his business on Alfheim and then greeting Sleipnir and Laufey. Jotunheim barely held new information but he had wanted to make sure and thus risked the lives of more innocents.

Loki closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. What's past is past and he can't do anything to bring the humans back or keep that robot from killing them. He looks up again to still find everyone standing around, not knowing what to do with themselves. The red skinned man looks at him like he would recognize Loki. It's time to make sense of all this.

'Hello. I am Loki.', he says, straightening his back. Loki is aware of all the stains on his clothes, of the dirt on his face and how he must look not very royal at the moment.

The woman looks at him. Something is wrong with her, that much he can feel. Then Loki feels bad for judging someone he doesn't know. He had seen her wield something akin to magic but now that he is close enough and not only fixated on not dying, Loki can tell that it isn't quite like Asgardian magic. It feels plain wrong. It's not meant to be on her but her body had accepted the change.

'Wanda.', is all she says.

'Nice to meet you.' Loki tries to coax a smile out of her. His gaze finds Clint, he merely shakes his head with a sad expression on his face.

'Hello.' Loki's gaze flits to the strange man standing a little outside of their group. He nearly doubles over when he recognizes the voice. From this close Loki can tell that no classic life force is in him. But he is not quite an android as well. 'My name is Vision.' Jarvis. Loki refuses to look at Tony, he would explain this whole matter later.

Loki draws a deep breath and asks himself how he should best phrase his question.

Vision smiles, it is not unfriendly. 'I am not a human, I am a Synthezoid.' Apparently Loki's question must have been written all over his face.

Loki nods as if that word would mean anything to him. 'Why do you sound like Jarvis?', he asks instead. Vision is not a true human but close enough that Loki's magic picks up on him, that should be enough for now.

'I was created as a part of Ultron and of the Artificial Intelligence known as Jarvis, but I am neither.'

Loki smiles. 'As long as you don't plan to take over the planet, I think that's a good thing.', he notes.

'I do not seek world domination, I assure you.' The man smiles genuine. That's when something sparkling in the light of the sun catches Loki's attention.

Loki frowns. 'What is that on your forehead, Vision?' It is an oddly familiar sensation that comes from the yellow glowing stone. He wants to retreat immediately but restrains himself. It feels cold, like his soul could be wrenched from his body if Loki just stares too long at the jewel-like stone.

Thor steps closer from behind and puts a hand on Loki's shoulder when the ravenette continues to stare at the nonthreatening and still menacing object on Vision's forehead. 'I have read your research, brother and I believe the stone upon the Vision's forehead is the Mind Stone. It was taken from the scepter your copy held.'

'The... Then Thanos..' Loki can't bring himself to finish one sentence or thought.

'Gave you one Infinity Stone to obtain another for him.', Thor confirms. 'With the Space Stone it would have been far easier to get the remaining four.'

Loki nods. That makes sense in a very twisted way. 'That's why he wanted it back so badly.', he says quietly.

'You wouldn't want to give up two stones at the same time either.', Tony reminds him.

'I never took much heed of it.', Loki admits. 'But I touched it..' He doesn't understand that. He should have felt the surge of power. But then Loki remembers that he barely ever made long enough contact with it to truly analyze it, being too disgusted by it. Except for the quick pickup on the roof where Eric died, he didn't touch it at all.

'The scepter was interfering with it a great deal. My machines couldn't pick up anything similar to the Aether or the Tesseract either.', Tony says.

Loki nods. 'And why does he sound like Jarvis?' He has to hear from Tony. What did his friend do to the machine who was more a friend than either of them ever had?

Tony looks sad and downcast. 'We had to merge them to make it work. Ultron made the body, it seemed like a waste to let the Stone unused.', he mutters.

Loki would want to slap him. To play with an Infinity Stone is dangerous, why can't the mortals simply accept that fact? 'Did it work? Vision is on our side?' Loki turns to the man in question.

'I am on no one's side.', the android, no Synthezoid, says again.

'Of course not.' Loki rolls his eyes. That's exactly something Jarvis would have said. 'I only meant to imply you do not seek to dominate the whole of Midgard or kill all of its inhabitants as Ultron did.'

'Oh.' Vision looks surprised at this easy definition. 'Well then I do believe to be on your side.' He offers Loki a smile. 'Ultron has no hold over me.'

'Great.' Loki returns the smile. 'So, is Ultron destroyed?'

'Every last of the robots are destroyed, there is no way he could return. Except for the bit in Vizh, Ultron is gone for good. And he won't use it like Ultron did.'

'Good. Well, now that that is settled, I want to get out of these clothes and sleep for at least a week.', Barton announces. After him, most of the other file into the building as well.

'What is with her and that other man?', Loki whispers as soon as he is alone with Tony and Thor.

Tony sighs. 'The scepter was used to unlock their powers. His name is Pietro. He is.. No one has seen him yet after the fall. Wanda is his sister, also called the Scarlet Witch. Her powers are impressive but you saw that already. She's worried for him.', he informs him.

'Is there any hope?', Loki asks.

Tony shrugs. 'No one saw him die. Romanov thinks she saw him struggle up there with some of the robots, she thinks we won't find him. Barton refuses to talk, probably because he saw him die.' Tony shrugs as if he could care less. 'All we know is he wasn't on the boats.'

Loki nods thoughtful. 'We can look for him later after we rested for a while. Where are they taking us?'

Tony shrugs. 'No idea. Doesn't really matter, does it? Can you take us home later?'

Loki nods. 'Just give me an hour or two. Are Vision and Wanda coming with us?'

'I do believe so. It's not like they have a home or anything.'

'Ultron was not what you hoped he would be.' Tony sighs exasperatedly but Loki continues before he can interrupt him. 'It was not meant as a critique. I just noticed. I saw the Vision fight, together with Wanda they could be valuable assets. And should they not wish to come with us to Xandar, they could be of great value for this world for the time we're gone.'

Tony stops dead on his tracks.

'Should they agree, that is.', Loki adds upon seeing the gleam in Tony's eyes.

'Why wouldn't they? Of course there is the problem that Wanda hates me and that Vision might remember some things Jay saw.. Still. That'll be great.'

Loki smiles mildly. 'If you say so, my friend.'

xXxXx

Tony sighs and immediately regrets the action. The last explosion and the falling rocks that had hit him must have cracked a rip or two. His whole body feels like a big bruise. His undersuit is bloodied and torn in more than one place. He can't bring himself to care. SHIELD had evacuated the inhabitants of the city that isn't anymore to the next bigger dwelling. The Iron Man armor had fallen to pieces when Tony tried to take it off on the Helicarrier. The other Avengers are still up there, tired out from the battle and the close escape. Tony isn't tired in the least and can't even handle to think about sleep right now so he hitched a ride down to the surface to wander a little among the sleeping old city. The sun had set hours ago.

It looks ancient, build probably in the middle age but not much later. The streets are cobbled, the mortar on the buildings is already crumbling from age. Tony reaches what he believes is the town square with a big cathedral. The buildings here look a little better, more looked after. The church is made out of old sand stone, light gray and worn with it being thus exposed to the sun, rain, snow and wind. He wonders how old it might be. Certainly older than any church in the States, he decides. The people had come here after being taken here and had prayed, now the place lies abandoned.

Carefully Tony steps closer and touches the thick wooden doors. To his surprise they aren't locked as he expected but open obediently at his touch. Probably for the hurt and frightened people of the city.

Tony sneaks into the vast halls. The light is dim so he stops just behind the door for a minute or two to let his eyes get used to the darkness. The only light in the big hall comes from the alter where thousands of candles burn. The rows of seats are all empty. It had been a long day for everyone.

The carpet beneath his feet muffles all sounds. The silence is pressing on his ears. The church is impressive. The ceiling is high, Tony can barely see it in this dim light but he barely looks at it or the brightly colored windows which leave none of the moon or street light into the cathedral either. Something draws Tony to the front, to where the people had ignited a candle for each confirmed death and each person still missing. The evacuation had taken too long, a lot of people had still been in the area when the floating city came crashing down. A lot of buildings had caved in, it would need a while to get every body out of the ruins.

He crossed a little more than half of the long corridor between the benches when his legs won't carry him anymore. He slides into the closest row and watches the candles flicker.

In here, one could almost forget all about the outside world, all about technology and all about civilization. A shiver passes down Tony's spine. In here, he could almost believe the past centuries to become undone before his eyes. He takes a deep breath. Is the air so heavy because his consciousness weighs heavy on his chest or are it merely the old walls pressing down on him with their century old burden?

In this church Tony could almost believe that the past centuries had never happened. This place must have looked much the same when the first people entered the sacred building. Maybe, when he steps out of here, he would find himself in a different place, a different time and with just his conscience reminding him of his faults.

Some candles start to flicker already and threaten to go out. Tony can't find it in him to approach the altar to replace them.

The merchant of death, they called him. Never had they been more accurate in the description. He had traded false security for the innocent lives of hundreds, maybe thousands. A world without war, the true privatizing of world peace, comes at the cost of no living things inhabiting it anymore. Is that all he used the armor for? Thoughts of what Yinsen would say, cross his mind. Tony rests his head on the bench in front of him. Is that his legacy?

All deaths he couldn't stop in the past flash past his eyes. So many soldiers who lost their lives, Yinsen, Stane, every person Tony was too slow or too weak to save. Sokovia. The river of despair washes him away. The good he did was never good enough and will never be enough to remedy all the bad. Everything comes back at him. He sought to make the world safer and in the end, has to live with the guilt of all these destroyed lives, and so many more in Tokyo and wherever else Ultron willingly or unwillingly took human lives.

Sacrificing Jarvis, his best friend, hadn't helped either. He had believed to give Jarvis a body, to bring him back to life, would change anything, would make all of this easier. Tony had thought all could be remedied by making his best friend this present. Vision may sound like Jay but in the end, the best thing in Tony's life is dead, got destroyed by his own fault.

'Do you believe in God?' The question seems almost too loud for this place. Tony turns to find Steve standing next to the bench. The blond takes a seat next to Tony.

'I don't know. I want to but.. ' Tony stops abruptly. 'Just say it. This is all my fault. All these deaths.' Tony shakes his head and stares straight ahead but he can't bring himself to look at the candles anymore. He doesn't deserve to grieve.

'It is not.' Steve's voice is still eerily quiet, even in a place like this.

'Yes it is. I build Ultron. I just wanted to protect the people, not bring their doom. Still, it's my fault. Everyone knows that.' His eyes burn. Shedding tears is for the innocent, Tony reminds himself.

'Tony.', Steve chastises him. 'No one blames you.'

He snorts. The sound is completely out of place, far too loud, far too brash. 'Of course they do.'

Steve sighs. 'I don't.'

Tony looks up surprised. 'Then you're a fool. Even I blame me. I should have checked the program before playing with this shit.' Tony exhales forcefully.

'You wanted to do the right thing. None of us thought about what would happen after we left.'

Tony hums noncommittally. Bruce had thought about it and the others also aren't stupid enough to not plan for all eventualities. He doesn't know why he doesn't blame Bruce as much as he blames himself. The other scientist had agreed to help him, had actually been as much part of the process of creating Ultron as Tony had been. Still, Tony thinks, he talked Bruce into this risky task. He can't blame the calm doctor, not for what is without doubt his own fault.

Steve puts an arm around his shoulders. 'It's not your fault, Tony.' Tony sighs and gives into the touch, leaning into Steve's side for more of the warm contact. He hadn't realized how cold he had become in the icy air of the church. Though he doesn't deserve the comfort, he takes whatever Steve offers him. Tony will just add it to the list of things he can never repay.

xXxXx

Loki gives a low whistle that echoes through the big hall. Tony pats himself mentally on the back to have impressed a god. He has to admit to himself that this is one of his finest works.

They are standing in a working hall where they usually would build spacecrafts for the NASA, now that Tony had bought it for Stark Industries it hosts only machines that Friday uses to assemble a spaceship smaller than most before it. It's sleek and silver, barely filling the hall, most of the parts are constructed and just wait to be build in but this place would offer not enough space. Loki is about to fix that little problem.

They are alone, the others should see the surprise just when Loki would teleport them onto the ship and they would fly away to other galaxies. Wrapping his mind around the idea had been hard work. Tony is glad, he did. There are just some minor things that need to be fixed, one is the size, the other is the engine.

Loki had forbidden for them to use the Tesseract, even if only to draw energy from it and use it as fuel. Bringing it nearer to Thanos' clutches is of course a bad idea, but like this the journey would take a good few months at the least. The Reality Stone currently resides in Tony's private vault under the Tower, Friday is the only one having access apart from him. Loki additionally magic-proofed the room. Everything is prepared for their departure. Vizh and Wanda agreed to help the people of Earth in case that something should happen. Just as he expected they didn't want to join a trip to outer space, Wanda is still grieving for her brother, Vision has barely seen a thing of the world and while he probably would have been a great asset for them anywhere, he doesn't want to leave Wanda alone. Thor and Loki accompanied them to Asgard so they would be able to call there for help should any trace of Thanos or another alien race. Asgard's warriors are ready to aid them immediately should the need arise. Tony is calmed by this, it at least takes away his fear that the Earth would be gone by their return. He doesn't like depending on another world to do that but maybe he and Friday together with Vizh could figure out something after the mission to Xandar.

'That's all us.', Tony says when he can't suppress that smug grin anymore after seeing the awe in Loki's eyes.

'Yeah.', Loki breathes. He hadn't seen such spaceships on Asgard, he assumes the sight is also new for his friend.

Tony claps his hands. 'So, how is this gonna work?' He looks back to the ship and wonders if all their equipment will truly fit into it.

'Lead me inside, please. I will work something which will probably be like magic to you. What part must be how big?', he asks, going over to the table with the blueprints. Tony follows him, then shuffles through the papers until he finds one of the outer shell and points out the parts which would need enhancing. Loki nods, then they walk to the ship. The ravenette fumbles in his pockets and draws out some devises.

Tony fumbles with the buttons on the side of the door, then the air lock opens.

'Stay here for a moment.' Loki holds up his hand before stepping inside. Tony sees absolutely no change to the outside but when Loki steps out, he smiles. 'That's that then. You can come to see if you have enough space now.'

'That's it?', Tony asks with raised eyebrows. He had expected some sparks or shimmer or something. He doubts anything happened but when he steps inside, his eyes nearly pop out. What had been a crammed place with panels is now a far reaching hall, much bigger than the building they stand in. Tony has to stop himself from running outside to see if the ship truly hadn't changed and Loki is just tricking him. 'Wow. Remind me to ask you to explain this to me. This stuff is amazing. How does this work?'

'We will have enough time for that on the ship.' Loki smiles, pleased with himself. 'Enough space?'

Tony nods thunderstruck. 'More than enough. Friday will build it right in. We've got all the spare parts at the ready.'

'Will they fit through the door?'

'Will this vanish when I open the hatch in the roof? There we still have to do some welding.', Tony worries.

'Everything will stay as it is. Rest reassured. Will you require my help? You mentioned the engine.'

'Yeah. It would be great if you could take a look at that. I'll program Friday's constructions really quickly, then I'll be with you. Wow.', he says one last time, then leaves the enhanced spaceship behind, swearing to himself he would come behind the secret of that stuff Loki did there. It is science after all, like the Bifrost. He'd find a way to reconstruct it.

'When do you think we can get started?', Loki calls after him when he leaves the spaceship as well and goes over to where the engine is.

'A week, maybe two tops. How fast can you get any missing information?', Tony asks.

'I already got it.', Loki says offhandedly. He hadn't returned to Alfheim after the Sokovia incident, having too much to do with the preparations, with the team, with, well, everything.

'Where did you get it from?'

'Alfheim.', Loki evades the question.

Tony snorts. 'You can sell that shit to Thor but not to me. Why would the Elves have maps and information of places outside of the nine realms? Huh? Doesn't make much sense, right?'

Loki sighs, then turns around to face Tony. 'Do you remember Elena? The woman who..'

'..Married Thor in another world and was pregnant with his child? Yeah, go on.', Tony throws in.

Loki scowls slightly before suppressing his reaction. 'Yes.', he forces out. 'It turns out she is no Elf. Not even from our universe.'

Tony purses his lips. 'Wonder if Thor knew about this..'

Now he is certainly not imagining the scowl. 'It matters little. I took her research for our purposes.'

'Why didn't you tell us? What was between her and Blondie?', he asks offhandedly. Tony keeps his head down, fearing he might have pushed too far.

'Nothing, it's long past.', Loki answers a little bit too fast. 'I didn't tell him because he doesn't need to know. It matters little.', Loki insists.

'Because you don't want him to think about his ex. You're jealous, don't try to deny it. I reacted the same when Stevie started searching for Bucky.'

'It's not the same.'

'You're right. Bucky and he are just friends and your rival is dead. She can't be any real danger.'

'But Thor would have chosen her. There was no competition.', Loki mutters.

'You don't know that.', Tony tries to soothe him. 'Have you actually spoken to Thor about this? He is really not the type to marry someone who's just his second choice.'

Loki huffs, then crosses his arms. 'He wouldn't feel that way, of course not. Or at least he didn't until that stupid world.' Loki looks through his eyelashes at him. 'Thor kissed her. He regrets her death.'

'They were friends, Lokes. How do you think I felt when I saw Pepper and..' His voice breaks. 'Or how that made Steve feel? It was a different world, it doesn't matter because in this I am not with her and there is no James. Or maybe there considering my good luck.' Tony grins to lighten the mood. 'But Thor chose you. And you chose him. I have seen him when he was with your replacement. He loves you no less just because he and that dead woman have a history. Talk to him.'

'Maybe you're right.', Loki says, then turns to the engine.

'No, no, no. You won't be like this. You don't get to run away from your problem, Lokes. I mean it. Well, you gotta know what's best for you.' Tony sighs. 'But we were all under a lot of pressure in that Citadel. Not trying to defend him. Just saying. Thor married you. Talk to him.' Tony raises his hands in defense.

'Let's just get to work. I can deal with this. Why did I even tell you?', Loki asks himself.

'Because I am like your best friend?', Tony helps.

Loki rolls his eyes so Tony figures he will be okay. Eventually. Even Point Break isn't that thick. At least that is what Tony hopes.

xXxXx

'So that's basically it.', Loki says. The wind whips around their faces as they stand on the platform of the Tower. 'You just call for him and tell him what you need. There is a big chance Heimdall will notice himself if something is wrong, then he will bring someone down.'

Vision nods, Wanda merely stares into space as if she could think of a million better things to do.

Loki had explained this to them for what he knows is the hundredths time but he still has the feeling it could be not enough. They are responsible for the fate of Earth and the nine realms. Of course Loki is anxious about them having understood every part. The bags of the team already stand on the platform, they are ready to leave in a few moments. Tony had to deal with Pepper because he would have to leave his company again for an extended period of time and, though none of them wants to think about that possibility, maybe he wouldn't come home at all. Who could tell what dangers are lurking behind the border of their solar system?

Loki had watched Tony making the last preparations of the systems on the ship, though the inside he hadn't seen. Loki had questioned they would get the spacecraft into the sky but Tony's brilliant invention had left the surface of the Earth smoothly and passed its first test.

The rest of the team comes outside as well to say their last farewells. Rhodes would help Vision and Wanda with everything related to Midgard's security and stands on the platform to bid Tony adieu.

Loki smiles at the three when the Avengers pick up their bags and stand as close to him without it being too uncomfortable. The ravenette casts one last look over New York, wondering if they would ever see it again. A gst of wind engulfs the group, then they leave the planet's surface and are on the spaceship within the blink of an eye.

'Alright. Welcome guys aboard the September. Are we ready to go?' When no one says otherwise but just stares at their surroundings, Tony continues. 'Friday, get us going.'

The female computerized voice answers immediately. 'Yes, Sir.'

Tony claps his hands. 'Care for a tour?'

'Aren't we in space? I was hoping for some anti gravity flying.', Clint says, looking around with a grin.

'Generators keep an artificial gravity going for the whole time. Figured we wouldn't want to fly through the air all the time. I mean, I wouldn't mind growing a few centimeters but I guess Cap would mind losing his muscles and you that you can't train shooting your arrows. I think we should drop our bags in our rooms, then meet up in the commando control and start the tour, alright? Friday will be there for any of your wishes or to guide you, especially in the first time. Bruce and Loki had seen the plans, I have mostly kept to these.', Tony rambles when he makes his way to the left.

Loki nods mechanically, then picks up his bag and follows Tony to the elevators on the left hand side. They are sleek, there are three of these. Two are needed to transport the Avengers somewhere, Loki can't tell if they are going up or down or moving at all, but when the doors open again the scenery had changed slightly.

'Who's first? Right, ladies first. Miss Romanov, if you would follow me?', Tony mock-bows in her direction, then stretches out his arm in the direction of the right corridor.

Tony, one after one, leads them to their respective rooms. Natasha, Bruce, Loki and Thor are on one side of the corridor, Tony, Steve and Clint on the other side. Thor gives him a small insecure smile before he vanishes through his door.

Loki just casts a quick glance to his rooms. They are furnished much like the Tower, with a big bed, a bathroom and a working and living space. He drops the bag to the floor, then hurries back to the corridor which he finds empty. Just across the hallway is Thor's door. Instead of knocking, Loki follows the corridor to the left where he remembers the elevators. He steps into one of them. Unsure how to use them or how the pad was supposed to work, Loki stares helplessly at the ceiling for a moment.

'Friday?'

'Good afternoon, Mr Laufeyson. What can I do for you?' It is still strange to hear a different voice than Jarvis speak to him from the ceiling. That had always been his designated space.

'Where is Tony?', he asks instead of concentrating on sad things. This is an adventure, he should be excited.

'Mr Stark is currently on the commando deck.', she informs him happily.

'Can you get me there?', Loki asks, still eyeing the interior of the elevator.

The elevator already moves before he had finished his question. This time Loki thinks he is going up but he can't be too sure. The gravity feels strange in this ship, not exactly as grounding as Midgard's natural one, but it is nothing he wouldn't get used to. Once he would have memorized a floor plan anyway. It just won't do to rely on Friday to guide him everywhere. Faster than anticipated the doors of the elevator open up. Loki wonders briefly if they are faster than the elevators in the Tower.

The commando control is beautiful. It's a surprisingly big room with enough space to comfortably hold the Avengers. There is only one seat in the middle of the room in front of some floating monitors, on the sides are some more computers and seats for the others who wouldn't command the ship.

Tony is the only one present already, everyone else probably is busy with packing their things away or strolling around the rooms Tony had build them. Or maybe they are just figuring out their way up here.

'Sorry I can't offer a better view right now. Thought we might get.. sick seeing space flash by us in a hurry. I got it all settled, technically everything is self sustaining and even without further input we should get to Xandar in record time.', Tony says without turning around. He fidgets in his seat, typing away on the screens.

'Why don't I and Thor get a room together?', Loki asks the first things that comes to his mind. Had Tony thought about what he had told him in a moment of weakness? He hadn't meant to complain about his husband and surely not meant he wouldn't want to sleep in one room with Thor. How could Tony be so insolent as to assume such a thing?

'Because I know you.', Tony says, then laughs. He spins around in his chair. 'We will be here for some time. We will go on each others nerves. Maybe not right away. I certainly know I won't like to not being able to withdraw like I used to. Here you can't just run away when you had a fight with that husband of yours and sleep somewhere else to punish him. Feel free to bunk over at his but I don't want you forcing me to sleep on the sofa because you refuse to acknowledge Thor's presence.'

'As if I would run away.' Loki crosses his arms in defiance. Tony knows better than to recount past occurrences, one of which had led to their current location.

'But if that Elena-thing will blow in your faces, you probably wouldn't want to sleep in his bed. That's icy, I can tell you. When there's something between you which none of you wants to talk about.' He shivers. 'Then it's better to sneak into the workshop than pretend to sleep and not care. Well, I am sure you had your share of that. At least here you have a room to withdraw to and won't hang out in the library, ready to jump at any unsuspecting Avenger and turn them into a tortoise or something similar.'

'That's.. surprisingly thought through.', Loki admits.

'Yep, that's me.', Tony quips, then turns back to the screen he had been typing on. 'I estimate we will leave our solar system by tomorrow morning, maybe even faster. Then we'll pass the Koiper belt. Only then I can activate the new drive and we'll see if it's working.'

'Good. And thank you for being considerate.', Loki acknowledges. He goes over to the computers at the side. Tony sees that and pushes some statistics over to him.

'It's best if anyone would know how to drive this ship. Get acquainted with the stats and controls.'

'Tony...'

'Hey, just saying. I could hit my head and forget all about Iron Man and think who that gorgeous blond may be and how to get into his pants. Please promise me to keep me from flirting with Tasha. I don't think she'd let me live anyway.' Tony looks truly worried for a moment.

Loki laughs softly, glancing at the screen. He taps away happily to get to know the computer. He is most impressed by Tony's handiwork on this whole thing and he hadn't even seen it all. After some minutes the other Avengers join them, one after one. They all look around in awe.

'That'll wear off pretty quickly.', Tony comments on that with a shrug. 'But I guess this isn't.' He types away on his keyboard, then a map shows up where the windshield must be. The bright lights in the room dim a little as thousands of stars and planets are projected on the gray steel walls which look retractable. 'Okay guys, we're here.' A small red dot shows up in the vastness of space. Loki recognizes Midgard which is almost at the same spot as their ship. 'If our test runs are conclusive, we should reach Xandar,', another red spot shows up when the map rotates, 'in 215 days after leaving our solar system, so a little over seven Earth months. We are traveling at the top speed with our Stark patented space engine. Before I can activate that though, we will have to stop for security reasons. That'll be probably in six days, after passing the asteroid field outside of Neptune. I would have Friday wake you so we can say good bye or some other sentimental shit. Also, that will be our last chance to see through these windows that are all over the ship for decorative matters.'

'Why not keep them open now?', Steve asks.

'We are moving with a few thousand miles per hour, something like a quarter of light speed, and that is just right now. If you think your stomach can handle such speed, well, great. Mine probably can't.', Tony says with a smile. 'So, tomorrow we'll pass the Kuiper Belt, our shields activated and we will hope that nothing bigger smashes into us that the shields won't be able to hold off. Then, we can say good bye. After that the travel will be much faster. The engine covers a few times the speed of light and will bring us to Xandar faster than a human has ever traveled before with warp.'

'Warp? That's from Star Trek, right?', Steve asks, his brows are furrowed.

'That's right, Cap.' Steve looks thoroughly pleased with himself. Tony leans back in his seat. 'So yeah, we won't be making any stops, so, I guess it's too late to tell you to use the restrooms while you can. Hopefully we can refill our oxygen tanks on Xandar but we should have enough to make it there, stay for two years and back without problems. It would be just to make sure we don't collapse. No one has ever been so long in space before, just you keep that in mind. Technically recycled oxygen and water shouldn't harm us, but there is no way of telling Food supply is secured, but should we need to make a stop, we'll have our Asgardian friends test what's edible for us.'

'Any out of plan stops would probably be not accompanied by the possibility to go shopping.', Bruce reminds them of the Kree territory they would have to pass.

'Don't worry until we are truly there. Maybe we meet another ship and can get into contact to get new maps of that part of the galaxy. Then we can sail around it. Or just go for it and hope they are friendly to strangers.'

'Tony is right, we can deal with that later.'

'And what do we do on any other planet than Xandar? You missed the fact that we are not Asgardians and can't survive without our atmosphere.', Clint reminds him.

Tony brings his hands over his heart in mock hurt. 'You underestimate me greatly, Barton. I was just about to show you. Well, since you can't wait, who wants a tour through our new home?'


	57. Chapter 54 An Ordinary Day

An Ordinary Day In An Extraordinary Spaceship

 _Home is behind, the world ahead, And there are many paths to tread  
Through shadows to the edge of night, Until the stars are all alight.  
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring _

Tony jumps up from his seat, the map vanishes as well and the lights come back on in full intensity. 'Alright, who wants to see the rest of our areas?' He seems to remember something as a frown passes his face. 'Not all are for your access of course, Friday controls the life support systems, you need clearance for that and the engine is also out of bounds, just in case Thor wants to play with Brucie there. Can't have you two involving that in your games. And of course all the doors to the outside are safe locked. If you really have to go there, meaning the systems, not the outside apparently..' He slumps back in his seat, apparently wanting to change the settings, thinking one might take offense by areas being out of bounds.

'Stark, I can hardly handle a computer, I do believe you I can't handle a brand new engine for space travel.', Steve interrupts his ramblings.

Tony turns around towards them again, his gestures include all of the ship. 'You can still go there, guys. I just made sure you won't stumble over it on a daily basis.'

'That's good. Let's go then.', Bruce says with a smile. Tony grins and stands up to guide everyone back to the elevator.

'Alright, I guess first thing to teach you about our new home is how to get to the different levels. See, it's pretty easy. Here, you just need to press here, then chose the floor, then type in your security code, then tap this and then it should go.' Loki had looked over Tony's shoulder and tries to follow . When the brunet sees the lost looks on everyone's face, he stops grinning at his own logic. 'Or you just ask Friday.', he backtracks immediately.

'That sounds like an idea.' Loki nods in agreement.

'Okay.' Tony claps his hands. 'Let's get downstairs. On the first floor are our rooms, the floor above that we will now go to. This elevator also goes down to the service levels but Friday should actually stop you. It also goes down to the cargo hold, that we can check out later to satisfy Clint's curiosity. Now, get into the cages.' Tony waits for everyone to file in, then they go down, at least that's what Tony said. The gravity still feels strange. The doors open and they step out into a wide hallway, resembling remotely the floor with their private quarters. White corridors lead down to both sides.

'Since we didn't have to be resourceful with space, there are three communal floors, this being number four, number five is where we just came from, the commando deck. Down the floor is a big library with Bruce's and my science books as well as some Asgardian literature, courtesy of Loki and Thor, and casual literature also in case any of you should still like to read on paper.', Tony says as if it would be the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. 'There are also work spaces and laboratories here. This is mostly for research or should you need a place to withdraw to. On the other side is a pool should we at any time feel like taking a swim. The training rooms are on the third floor as well as the fun rooms. I'll leave it to you to explore that at your leisure and to find all the little presents I left you. There is a shooting room for Hawkeye, a drawing room for our dear Captain and so on and so forth. Please share and don't be like toddlers. That's my job to be possessive about my stuff.'

They walk down the left hand corridor, past what looks a lot like Bruce's laboratory in the Tower, Bruce gives an appreciative nod, and a workshop for Tony's armor and for his tinkering. Loki briefly wonders why it is so far from his sleeping quarters, then assumes that this is just the official one when he wants to do science stuff with Bruce.

On the other side are several sealed doors. 'For more dangerous experiments in case something blows up.', Tony explains without anyone asking. In the right corridor is a big bath, including a long wide swimming pool, some loungers on the side, a whirlpool and in the back what Loki assumes are saunas.

'What are the sun loungers for?', Natasha asks, eyeing the white ceiling. Where the light comes from, can't be told.

'Oh, that's the best.' Tony grins now again, his enthusiasm reawakened. 'Since we won't see any sun for real for a few months and then maybe a little longer because who can tell what Xandar"s sun does to us, I build in some lamps that resemble our sun light. For our bones and stuff. I guess you can also work on your tan. I wanted to build these lights in everywhere but than probably Loki and Cap would have been a bright red by tomorrow morning. So I would suggest a swim about, one time a week?' Tony turns to Bruce who looks up from the control panel which hangs on the wall.

The scientist nods once. 'That should suffice. Too much sun isn't good either.'

'Not sure what's with you two but I guess you will know yourselves how much sun you need.', Tony turns to Thor and Loki. Loki glances to his husband, then nods. They don't really depend on the light as the Midgardians do but Thor always liked his tan. Maybe that whirlpool would be nice to wash off the tension after a week in this ship, he decides.

'On the other side is the library and some working spaces on the side with computers and personal bookshelves should you need to stack them away so no one steals them or whatever.' They enter the big room which somewhat resembles the Asgardian library. Loki wonders if Tony specifically designed it like that. 'Here is the terminal, if you search something specific. But yeah, that's just in case you forget your tablet or something like that.'

'Tablet?'

Tony had been about to leave the library but when he hears Steve's question, he turns back. 'What? The tablets I placed on your beds. The tablets that will guide you around and keep you posted and make sure you get any information possible you need to survive in case you get dumped on a strange planet.' He sees their lost stares. 'None of you saw it?' His shoulders slump.

'As if we could work those without you.' Loki rolls his eyes. He can already guess Stark brought his latest gadgets with him which he personally could probably barely work.

'Whatever, there are your security codes as well. Can't have strange aliens take over our ship and touch everything. Care for the next floor?' His interest seems to have faded considerably. They leave for the elevators and go down by two levels. As he had said, Tony doesn't guide them through the third level. Especially not now that he lost the will to boast.

'Here is the kitchen and the dining area, the storage room is behind in that room.', Tony points to the right. 'On the left are rooms to hang out. I don't want you to all hide away when I come here after working on my suits or the ship or whatnot. And yes, that's directed especially at you, Bruce. No hiding away twenty-four hours in your room. If you wish to inspect the Hulk tank, just tell me. It's in the cargo hold, in case you care. Well, I don't know about you but I gotta check my stuff and unpack my bags.'

'What about me underestimating you?', Clint asks.

'This all doesn't impress you? How many people do you believe could have build something similar? And in two months with an imminent threat to face no less?', Tony exclaims.

'I meant you wanted to prove to me that you found a way for us to breathe outside of this ship.', Clint tries to coax him. When Tony grumbles something unintelligible, he shrugs. Loki decides to leave them alone and do just what Tony suggested. He could see the hangar later. No doubt the most magnificent ships, more impressive than anything on Asgard, await the Avengers to leave the September at the end of their journey in them. He had already seen the suits Tony designed for everyone, at least on the paper. If they are anything like Tony planned them, the Avengers will be knocked out.

Thor puts an arm around his shoulders and draws him from his thoughts. It is quite early still, far too soon to think about food though Loki had not eaten anything for breakfast being far too excited for the day to come. Thor motions in the direction of the elevator, Loki immediately agrees. There would be enough time to explore this base later, either with the others or alone. The rest of the team now stands in the floor and shuffles around nervously as Tony leaves, trying to cover his pout, Loki and Thor follow him and ask Friday to take them down to their rooms.

'Will you stay in your room?', Thor asks when they reach their doors. The ravenette can tell this room arrangement has bothered Thor as well but he can see the reasoning behind it.

Loki thinks for a second, then settles for the only answer he could possibly give that wouldn't hurt his insecure husband. 'We should choose one of our rooms as ours. The other can be a spare room or something. Who knows what will happen during our journey.' He doesn't quite feel the excitement that his statement implies.

Thor smiles brightly at the prospect of not being parted from him. Loki feels slightly bad for pretending to not have been slightly grateful when finding out about his separate room. Still, it makes little sense to evade Thor. He loves him and that won't change, putting all jealousy aside. It makes no sense to blame him, it's not Thor's fault he couldn't marry Elena. Loki is hurt but he won't take it out on Thor, that he pledged to himself.

'So, mine or yours?', Loki asks with a smile to cover his dark thoughts. He just has to act like everything is fine till it is true. Even as his heart hurts.

Thor shrugs. 'Do they look any different?', he asks. Loki opens his door and motions Thor to follow him, taking a thorough look around this time. It's unfair to not appreciate Tony's hard work. But when has life ever been fair? The room has a white floor and white ceilings and would look quite barren and sterile if it wouldn't be for the dark wooden furniture and the green accents. There are two sofas next to what probably is a window, high bookshelves line the walls with some books in them and more than enough space for his personal stack, then there is a working space for him and another sitting area. Loki can see the bedroom through the open door, the bathroom is right next to it. Apparently they do.', Thor notes. 'I do prefer yours, love, if you don't mind.'

'Not at all.', Loki hears himself say. Thor nods, then runs off to get his luggage. 'Don't forget that tablet!', Loki calls after him. The ravenette looks around again, then sighs and picks up his bag and goes into the bedroom. He'd love to pick up the tablet that's been lovely placed on the green bedding with a little note reading _''Welcome aboard the September. Something to make your stay more comfortable. Tony.''_ but he refrains until Thor comes back and starts unpacking his clothes instead. Since he used the same technology to expand his bag as he used on the ship, he has to rummage through the bag a little to get there. The wardrobe is big enough for three people, Loki guesses as he chooses his side. It's a combination from all, from casual and formal wear to swimming trunks, as well as towels, some blankets from home to feel more comfortable, and much more.

Thor's arms encircle him from behind, his lips find Loki's neck. 'Now we're on the way.'

'No turning back.' He meant to say it lighthearted but it comes out like a death sentence.

'I would like no one better at my side.', Thor says. Loki cringes. The blond doesn't notice, just presses one last kiss to his neck. 'Alright, where do you want my things?' He dumps his bag on the bed and starts to unpack his things rather unmethodical. Loki grabs his bathroom things and Thor's which he had thrown onto the bed to furnish their en-suite bath. There is even a rack for the towels over the luxurious bathtub.

'This is designed to stay here for a long time.', Loki notes when he hears Thor's steps behind him.

'Let us hope that won't be necessary.'

xXxXx

'I send Vision a message but he and Wanda haven't answered yet.', Tony says with a shrug as if he could care less. He knows it will take a while for the message to reach them and then for their return message to come back, but still. The insecurity is killing him. He had send him again a reminder to get into contact with other super humans on Earth to help them defend their planet should the need arise. Tony had tried to do so when they were still on their world (the fact that they aren't anymore lets him freak out, but just a little) but he couldn't really find anyone in that time who was willing to join the team or who would be fitting. In the message he again reassured Vision that they all trust his judgment so if he should find a suitable 'replacement' for them, he has the permission to recruit them. Anything to protect their precious planet. There are still a lot of suitors on SHIELD's list of super humans, including some hidden figures in New York Tony, between the threat of Ultron and building the September and their equipment, hadn't found the time to trace down since SHIELD neither knew their secret identities but just their super human abilities and sometimes a crappy photo. Still, that might be enough for Vision and Wanda to figure out a way to get them.

The library is empty apart from him and Loki. The Asgardian looks up like Tony just spoiled all his fun at being alone and moping or whatever he calls it. Whatever is fun about reading that tome that Tony guesses is about herbs judging from the picture on the cover and the scripture he learned is Elvish.

'What did you expect, Stark?' Oh oh. They are back to Stark so something must be really wrong. Loki raises one eyebrow. 'In a few days we won't have any contact anymore except for our paper, and that is limited as well. So, calm down. They will do just fine with Asgard's help.'

'So I can worry now.', Tony concludes. 'What are you doing here anywhere?', he asks with a look at the book. He knows he will only hear excuses but he wants to know what Loki would try to tell him this time.

'Reading.' At least he isn't lying.

'And why do you do this in the darkest corner of the library?', Tony asks.

Loki's features turn more defiant. 'Because I like it here.'

Tony raises an eyebrow. 'And Thor doesn't? I saw him walk away after he shouted through this room for you. He even asked me where you could be. I send him off to play video games with Bruce, told him you'd show up somewhen.'

Loki breathes a sigh of relief. 'Thank you.'

'You're frustrating, you know that, right?' Tony sighs, knowing it's pointless to argue. 'Why don't you use that extra room to express your displeasure or whatever?'

'I don't want to hurt him.', is the mumbled reply.

'Then stop doing it. Either you talk to him and get over this or you stop punishing yourself and Thor for something past. Now come down to the cargo hold and help me figure out that face masks. Thor won't come there either.', Tony coaxes him out of the room.

Loki sighs dramatically, then puts down his book and says: 'Fine, what's the problem?'

Tony grins about his success. Maybe Loki is right and it is none of his business what passes between the two Asgardians but it bothers him to think that maybe a marriage could end just because of something that is probably a big misunderstanding. It reminds him of his and Steve's problems and that frightens him. He would have a talk with his blond later about what to do with these stubborn aliens.

'Well, first, I still have no idea what the atmosphere of that planet will be like and just how toxic it is, not talking about what would happen if we miscalculate the gravitation. And second, I will have to build in an oxygen tank anyway to make them space-proof, I'd like your input on that as well.'

It's just their second day on the ship but Tony already feels restless. He needs to keep his hands and his mind busy, at least until they leave their solar system and Tony will be certain there is no turning back.

xXxXx

They walk down the corridor. Thor's booming voice, shouting something about trickery, is even audible in the elevator on the way down to level C. Loki shakes his head slightly.

The cargo hold is a place that certainly deserves that name. It is as big as the each of the communal floors just without walls in between and houses a big workshop on the one end and several vessels that stand in their designated places. Loki had only seen them on blueprints before and is impressed.

'We can't really land this baby here, now, can we?', Tony says with a shrug, downplaying all his hard work. 'Anyway, these will get us down to Xandar. So, let's see where our suits are.' He walks over to the workshop. 'Who knows where we will end up and I don't particularly would like to die just because some alien race wants to talk to us and ignores that we need oxygen.'

'Let's hope we don't end up somewhere else. As far as I know the Kree usually infiltrate planets with a different atmosphere composition.'

'So this might be quite clever. Our weapon systems are big enough to take down a small ship, our shields maybe strong enough to withstand a bigger one, but to stand against a whole fleet..' Tony sighs. 'At least then we won't die because of oxygen starvation. Or because our bodies explode in the vacuum.'

'Thor and I may withstand but maybe you should stack these somewhere else. Somewhere easier accessible.', Loki suggests.

'First, the suits are ready.' Tony points at the far end wall where some panels slide back as Friday retracts them. 'They are powered by miniaturized arc-reactors, so gravitation up to 4.6 times that of Earth will be no problem, especially for us non-superhumans. To move on Asgard had been difficult enough without a suit, that won't happen again so they also weigh enough to keep us on the ground in case of a lighter gravity.'

'Do you use filters for the masques for the face?', Loki asks, taking a closer look at the sleek suits that look no thicker than a diving suit. They talk for a while about some tech specifics, then Tony sits down to sketch and Loki withdraws. It's not his time to cook a meal so he heads back to his and Thor's room for a little solace before dinner.

He had just sat down with a book when the door opens.

'You are back soon.', Loki notes.

Thor is quiet for too long so Loki turns around to catch him smiling sheepishly. 'There was a little incident with the Hulk and..'

Loki's face falls. 'Don't tell me there is a hole in the ship and all our friends died a most painful death because you thought angering the doctor would be a good idea.'

Thor seems shocked at the mere implication. 'No, of course not, beloved. I was surprised myself, but Bruce merely transformed, then sat back down and played with even more vigor than before.' Thor grins at the memory. He steps closer to Loki and pulls him up to stand in front of him. Thor's hands glide down his arms in feather light touches that send shivers all over Loki's body. 'It's still a little while till dinner. And now we finally aren't being interrupted for once.' His right hand comes back up and gently caresses Loki's cheek. The ravenette unconsciously leans into the touch. Thor takes the open invitation and gently kisses Loki, while making his intent clear by swiping hit tongue over Loki's lips.

Loki can feel a whimper build in the back of his throat. Ever since returning from the Citadel there hadn't been much time alone with Thor and certainly no time for such kisses. And even before the return to Asgard, their couplings had been seldom and not this intimate with just the two of them, with no one to barge in, with him being Thor's sole focus. Is this how Elena had felt under Thor's ministrations? The thought crosses his mind unbidden and leaves a bitter taste.

Loki draws back slightly by averting his head. He decided to forgive the treachery but he is still hesitant since Thor never even uttered a word about the matter of his ex. He can't enjoy Thor's attention when it belongs to someone else. He shouldn't feel that way, has no right to do so. Still, he can't help but retreat from Thor lately. Even Tony had already noticed this, what would Thor think of him?

Thor frowns slightly, then eyes him with worry. 'What is it, love? You have been preoccupied for a while.', he notes carefully as if expecting Loki to lash out. Thor's hands come up to cup his face gently.

'It's nothing.' Loki looks away from the intensity of Thor's gaze but the blond is having none of that. He tips Loki's head back so he has to look at Thor.

'Don't lie, my love. If you don't want to lie with me, it is fine. It merely has been so long and I long to hold you again. To truly hold you and not just sleep with you.' He takes a deep breath, his small smile wavers. 'Are you.. Is it the threat of Thanos we face?' Loki doesn't answer, cannot answer. 'You need not be afraid, love. I won't let him touch you ever again.', Thor promises solemnly, the hand in his neck grabbing Loki affectionately.

The real worry in his voice, the love that radiates from him, in this moment Loki knows he had been unfair. Instead of searching the error in Loki, Thor automatically assumes it is merely a matter of his anxiety. He is so lenient and considerate, had accepted Loki's boundaries and not pushed. What's past is past, Loki decides. He would have to be the best husband Thor could ever wish for and finally be worth of Thor. He will do anything in his power to make sure that Thor will never miss anything. And if that means that he has to share, who is Loki to complain. Loki half falls into his embrace, seeking the comfort of days past.

Thor's other hand comes up to wipe away a stray tear on Loki's face.

Loki interlaces their fingers and kisses the back of Thor's hand. 'I've been busy, love. Too busy for us. I am sorry.'

Thor shakes his head. 'You made all of this possible. Now we've got the time. Not now, but in the coming months. You need some rest, you have slept bad of late again.', Thor notes and guides him to the nearest sofa so Loki can sit down.

It is true, his nightmares had returned ever since he left Midgard behind on his quest for knowledge though Thor had only noticed in the last few days on their friends' homeworld. If it is merely the prospect of leaving the nine realms yet again and not knowing where their journey may end, or if it is because they might need to face Thanos and his minions, Loki isn't too sure. Mostly he doesn't remember his dreams unlike before when he dreamed of falling into the abyss and being tortured by the Other. Loki wakes up with his heart pounding in his throat and dried tears on his face, trembling and sweating. It is mostly impossible to shake the panic for some minutes, Thor's presence doesn't help as it used to.

Thor sits down next to him, one arm around Loki's shoulder. 'Do not fret, love. We'll enjoy some of Doctor Banner's cooking, then you can sleep. I won't leave your side, I swear. I'm going to keep you safe.'

Loki lets his fatigue wash over him and leans on Thor. 'I don't believe I will be that tired.', he says, placing one hand on Thor's thigh.

xXxXx

'You will not succeed, you treacherous villain!'

Thor's tongue is poking out a little as he concentrates on the wild journey on the screen. Bruce's virtual car is just overtaking Thor's and the blond has problems keeping up with him.

He doesn't has to look to his right to see the doctor grin gleefully. The controller is just too small, so of course Bruce has an unfair advantage.

'Looks like I will.', Bruce gloats, nudging Thor's side. 'Try to catch me.'

'You just wait!', Thor shouts back, hitting the buttons harder. He resists the temptation to push the doctor back, knowing that either he would get hurt or Tony would later yell at them for destroying his new ship. The Hulk needs to play every now and then but the gaming room on the communal floors is probably not the right place. Thor drops the controller to the ground when Bruce reaches the destination first.

'Rematch!', Thor demands immediately.

Bruce leans back with a smug grin. 'Are you already ready to lose again?'

'I will show you losing.', Thor mutters darkly as he picks up the controller again and hits play. This one goes to him but only barely. Something green flashes in Bruce's eyes when he tries to control his emotions.

'Haha! I knew I would best you.' This time it's Thor who leans back.

'Stop boasting.' Bruce playfully hits his arm, only Thor really feels a painful bruise bloom there. If he wants no repetition of last time the Hulk made an appearance, he should be careful. This last time, the doctor had been peaceful in his transformed self and merely smashed the controller in his rage, Thor doesn't kid himself to think he'd be that lucky again. Though he would have no problem to battle with the beast, Tony wouldn't take it too kindly if they would smash a wall or two. He had already yelled at them for enraging Bruce in the middle of the communal area instead of doing so in the rooms made for such occasions, namely one floor above them in the sparring area. Thor has half a mind to go just there and enjoy a little exercise when there is a little melody coming from above their heads, announcing a message.

'Hey my dear fellow travelers.' Tony seems to be in an extraordinary mood today. He practically shouts in excitement. 'If you wouldn't mind, I will open the windows now. As you probably noticed, we are already slowing. In half an hour we will come to a still stand. For one last look upon our world, you're welcome to either come up here and join me or use any window you might fancy in your personal space.' He stops. 'Well, that's it. Try not to go through the windows, just looking no touching. The windows will close before I activate our warp. Thanks for your attention.'

With a crack the line is gone and with it Tony's voice. Almost no time later the hatches of the windows withdraw and reveal the blackness of space, only broken by a few flying rocks and some distant stars.

Thor stares outside for a moment. This close to the stars he hadn't been in a long time, maybe never. Not even Asgard's night sky is this brilliant, this unblemished from any artificial light. Every visible star shines in a different color.

'If you will excuse me.' Thor stands up absentmindedly and heads for the door. Bruce mumbles something about heading up to the commando bridge but Thor isn't really listening anymore. The corridors flash by and he reaches Loki and his private quarters before he has time to think. Of course Loki would be here to ponder their situation, to spend the last remaining time in their galaxy in solitude.

Thor opens the door, finding Loki on the other side with his back turned on the blond. The window that had until now contained a scene from a Midgardian forest now holds a brilliant night sky. Loki looks small and forlorn in front of the vastness of space. He is hugging his midsection, apparently hadn't even noticed Thor's entrance.

He doesn't bother announcing himself but merely steps behind Loki to engulf him in his arms. The ravenette doesn't even flinch. Thor rests his head on his shoulder and stares outside.

'That's what we protect.', Loki whispers though there is no way of telling which star of these is Midgard's or in which direction it lies.

'What we are going to preserve.' Thor rubs his thumbs over the skin on Loki's sides. 'We won't fail, love.'

'We can't. ', the ravenette agrees. 'You think we are ever going to see this again? Our world I mean.'

Thor had had similar worries. 'We are going to see Asgard again, and Midgard, and the rest of our worlds. Don't doubt that. You and Stark did a brilliant job with this. Everything will be fine.', he reassures his husband, hoping it are no mere empty words.

Loki nods and continues to stare out of the window. The outside world doesn't move for Thor but according to Tony they are still traveling at a not ignorable speed.

'Maybe we should have stayed here.', Loki whispers.

'I don't want to leave either. To not see our family, our friends for so long..' Thor shakes his head, struggling to find words. 'But we are doing the right thing. We're doing what needs to be done while keeping everyone else as safe as we can.'

He swallows. 'I am leaving him behind. Again.' His voice is stressed.

'Sleipnir understands. You wouldn't want to take him with us, would you?'

Loki shakes his head and leans back into the embrace. Thor feels guilty for being glad to have Loki all by himself but the thoughts quickly vanish when his husband seeks comfort in his arms.

A tear rolls down Loki's cheek when the windows close without much further ado. There isn't even a sound, no resounding snap that cuts them away from their home but it feels like the sound of the prison bars just got lost in the vacuum surrounding them. Thor turns him away from the sad sight and brushes the tear away.

xXxXxXx

 **Hi guys! So nice of you to come here and read this (by now far too long story). First things first, thank you for all the favorites and follows, that's really swell. I thought I would have a heart attack because it seemed I got a notification every other hour. :')**

 **Then, of course, back to the story. The ship is names The September (because apparently Tony chose the name). We will spend many a pleasant hour in it until we reach our destination. One of the last scenes, that with Thor and Bruce playing video games, is inspired by the countless times Thor and the Hulk battled virtual battles in the Avengers Tower in Avengers Assemble.**

 **See you hopefully next week. Since I am on vacation right now, and apparently have too much free time, feel free to drop any requests or whatnot either as a comment or a message. Just saying. I still have one prompt left and I need to finally get along with my Stony story (which is compatible with this one, but if you want to see them as just friends, feel free to do so), but I'll do my best. :)**


	58. Chapter 55 Visitors

Visitors

 _You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.  
Rabindranath Tagore _

'I still don't see why we couldn't have taken the Tesseract to get us to Xandar.', Clint grumbles. They are all, except for Tony, sitting in the kitchen. This discussion had come up more and more often lately. They are all sick of each other and want to see something new. Something outside of these walls. 'We could have been back by now instead of being stuck in this metal can for the past weeks.' Clint sulks as per usual. It's almost dinner time and since the spaceship awe really wore off pretty quickly, none of them have anything better to do than sit around and wait for something to herald the end of the day. Even if that means getting on each others' nerves. They are all sick of doing nothing and just waiting for who could tell what.

The group had been on the September for more than four months now, each day passes more slowly than the day before. Loki dreams of wandering the grounds of the palace. Tony had thought about adding a small garden but it simply isn't the same as being outside. Thor also grows restless, he wanders around till late in the night. He on the opposite to his husband isn't used to stay in the same place for an extended period of time. Thor is a warrior and though he can train with Bruce and Steve, he wants to go out and hurl Mjolnir freely without having to hold back. If Loki wouldn't have stopped him time and time again, Thor would have already went outside for a little flight outside. The ship is moving too fast for even Mjolnir to catch up with them. Otherwise Loki might have been tempted as well.

'Stop complaining, Clint. You came free willingly.', Steve stops his ramblings. Everyone is on edge while Bruce cooks some kind of curry and tries his best to ignore everyone. To sit together like this gets more dangerous with every meal. Most Avengers spend their time in their own rooms by now, or in Clint's case the archery room where he shoots arrows till the early morning hours. Loki had brought a book with him which he had already read three times. He made his way through the library in almost no time, but it's better to pretend being interested in something else than getting involved in the almost everyday hassle.

Thor and Loki are used to spend their time together and since the ravenette had shoved his personal quarrels aside, he enjoys his time in solitude with his husband. Just siting next to him and reading while Thor struggles with the confinement of their rooms, has a calming effect on him. Loki had offered to move to his rooms but Thor only claimed that he'd get insane without Loki's presence. Thor's excess energy he also has to take care of, not that he minds.

Barton glares at him for some moments which don't seem to pass. 'I didn't sign up for this crap, so shut up, Cap. Not all of us are patient enough to wait seventy years to get anywhere.' Loki flinches at the low blow. The whole room seems to hold its breath as they wait for Steve's reaction. It's just a matter of time before someone explodes and it sure as Hel isn't going to be Bruce.

Steve's hands clench. Not a good sign, Loki decides. He looks up from where he pretended to read to work a bit of magic to keep them apart if necessary. 'You still knew what you were getting into. We're saving Earth.' He has trouble staying calm but tries nonetheless. He is their captain after all, feels responsible for them. He speaks the truth, just if that will have any effect on Barton, Loki can't tell.

'Are we?', Barton challenges. 'As far as I am concerned we're drifting through space and are no closer keeping our world safe than we are to make any of us regular citizens. What do we care about other worlds? They didn't come to our help when Thanos attack either.', he growls. Lost is his enthusiasm about the guarding the galaxy. They had agreed to keep the fight away from Midgard and Asgard, that a stealth mission to retrieve the Power Stone would be more successful than letting Thanos meet them on his terms.

'Stop meeting trouble halfway, Barton! We agreed that this is the best course of action.', Natasha gets involved. 'As for the time, you can shoot all the arrows you want in that room just an elevator ride away.'

Clint grits his teeth, either because his best friend takes the side of his opponent or because he knows she is right. 'That's boring.' Of course, the blond would want a real challenge. The training rooms have different programs and are even challenging for Loki when he trains with his daggers. Sometimes though a real opponent who isn't one of your closest friends would be nice to have at hand.

She looks up from her tablet which is a very bad sign. 'And working for SHIELD isn't? We were merely better mercenaries.', she says, crossing her arms.

Barton isn't impressed. 'At least we didn't get messed up in shit like this! None of this would have happened if Loki never came here in the first place. Should have taken him down when I had the chance.', he mutters. Loki remembers the incident in question. He had destroyed a SHIELD base which hastily had been erected to investigate his arrival on Midgard. He hadn't even known Clint had been there.

'What do you dare say about my brother?', Thor thunders and stands up. The air seems to crackle with electricity. Loki puts a hand on Thor's arm to force him down again. He doesn't doubt Clint didn't mean it and will be sorry soon enough for having said such a thing. Just last week there had been a discussion why Loki wouldn't just teleport them, claiming he would probably be too weak anyway. Not a day later, Barton offered Loki some self-made pancakes as an apology. They are all on edge, things are said that aren't really felt. Loki understands. Thor, less so. With asgard's warriors it might be that every problem can be solved by simply fighting it out but here in the middle of space, with just the good doctor and a Friday operated machine to patch them up, that might not be a good idea.

'Calm down, Thor.', Steve orders. He is slowly but surely losing his patience.

'Oh, shut up, fossil. You might not have anything better to do than trail after stolen relics, but some of us could have a normal life.', Clint shoots back. His hands are clinched to fists now.

'As if you would survive that for a week.', Steve deadpans. 'You'd die of boredom and would go and hunt down bad guys again.'

Before any more words can be lost on the matter though, they are interrupted. 'Okay, cool off time for you all!', it sounds from the speakers.

'You're one to talk, Stark. You have holed yourself up in your workshop for the past days!', Barton yells at the ceiling.

'Yeah, and you don't see me yelling at someone, Hawkass. So, point taken.' They can hear Tony's grin. Clint groans in frustration but stalks off. The last words about this matter haven't been spoken yet.

xXxXx

Tony is rewiring the right arm of his latest, space-proof suit, Bruce works for once silently at his side and doesn't try to smash Blondie because of another lost round of that racing game. Tony pretends to not notice that the scientist is sulking. They had soon found out that somehow the Hulk likes the spaceship and because of his frequent presence he keeps it mostly intact. Well, for now. With Bruce often away and getting used to not being fully in control anymore, Tony often sits around alone in the lab, busy with the latest gadgets his mind had worked out, while he and Blondie play games and Hawkass mopes around because he won't let himself be hit when Hulk wants to, ergo can't join them. Don't get Tony wrong, he is glad that Bruce comes to terms with his other self instead of fighting the Hulk which probably was part of Hulk's aggressiveness and waywardness as with two personalities fighting in him for dominance. Maybe it would even help the team in battle. He is just missing his science bro.

They had all been a little bit worried about having Bruce in a confided space but it's getting better than anyone would have assumed possible. He is the only one of them not being on edge and dealing with the situation rather admirably.

The other scientist is analyzing the breathing masks Tony had worked on with Loki a few weeks back. Tony can't understand why everyone is so bothered by this experience. He is used to hole himself up for days and weeks in his workshop. Of course he would love to go out and when they get out of here, he surely won't complain about getting some space between him and the others for a day or two. But otherwise, he is too busy to notice the constriction. No one does seem to mind as much as Barton either. The blond mostly keeps to himself now since his latest outburst. Either it is because he is embarrassed by this (which Tony doubts) or he is merely sulking because he came free willingly and now can't deal with the consequences. Though Tony doesn't doubt Barton will get over his mood once they reach their destination. They had all known what they were getting into when they signed up for this mission. Months in a confided space, sitting on each others' hides, dealing with Thanos at the end of the journey.

And his suits need to be ready for that.

Tony is a wee bit worried that they won't be and that everything will fail because of him. His nightmares had returned with full force ever since they are moving towards the space he dreads so much. He had seen the blackness of space around them when the hatches had last time been opened. It's another reason for the windows to stay shut at all times. He couldn't deal with the view then and he surely can't now. For one moment he fancied he say the lights flicker. It was enough to trigger another panic attack which fortunately was just witnessed by Bruce. Tony would have figured out a way for the hatches to stay open but the others don't have to know that. It's embarrassing enough as it is.

'Sir, there is an incoming signal.', Friday announces suddenly into the relative silence of the lab.

Tony rolls his eyes. 'Just tell Loki to get down here if he wants to talk, Point Break isn't here.' The lovebirds seem to have fixed their problems but Loki still sometimes hides away to have his peace or simply to hang out with someone who isn't mentally unstable like the rest of the crew.

'It is not Mr Laufeyson. Another ship is trying to contact us.'

'Fuck.' Tony drops the tools just as Bruce does, then races for the elevator doors. He hears Bruce's footsteps right behind him. 'Tell Loki and Thor to get upstairs right now.', he almost yells at Friday. 'I don't speak Alien.' He knows he is freaking out, is panicking and his heart feels like bursting into flames spontaneously. The elevator soars upwards, the commando deck never looked this lonely. He is used to not feel their speed, now he believes he notices their dropping tempo.

'They have brought the ship to a halt, Sir.', Friday confirms his thoughts.

'I noticed.', Tony flops into the seat and tries to activate it again. 'They are hacking into our systems.', he informs Bruce while trying to counteract and failing spectacularly. This has never happened before, he is the tech genius. Of their planet, Tony reminds himself. This is probably child's play for the aliens who possibly try to kill them. A look over to the map confirms Tony's worst fears. They are near former Kree territory. He curses wildly while stabbing the controls. Finally the controls answer again as the automated systems kick in and he can control the slow down of the engines. There isn't much though he can do about the slow down. The engine's powered down already and needs to reboot now. They gave the control back free willingly now that the September can't go anywhere.

The speakers come online before Tony can do anything about restoring their flight power or about their attempts to break down his systems. Some weird alien language or rather sounds come from the speakers and probably echo through the whole blasted ship, quite possibly threatening, at least that's what it sounds.

'Do something!', Tony yells when Bruce just stares at the map Friday had drawn up that shows off a ship not too far from them. There are actually several red blips on the screen, moving constantly closer. Tony feels his hands start to shake so he clenches them to fists.

'What am I supposed to do? The Hulk won't be of much use!', Bruce shouts back but finally moving to the closest terminal. 'I don't speak this language if it is one and not just the static.', he adds. He looks as lost as Tony feels. Great, and now he's got a panic attack.

'LOKI!', Tony yells, trying to not freak out. The ravenette can't hear him but Tony feels better shouting. Breathe, just breathe, he tells himself when his lungs refuse to cooperate. This is not New York. Actually, this is worse, he cannot simply go home, can't hide away in Steve's bedroom, now he is facing the stupid aliens again in the vastness of space with nothing more than some steel walls between them which are probably nonexistent for their blasters. Damn it, why didn't he just build a war ship when he had the chance? Then they quite possibly would stand a chance against these fellows. No Hulk will wake him up from this nightmare this time.

There is a flicker in the air and in the next moment, Loki stands in the middle of the commando control, looking slightly out of breath and is not faring much better than Tony himself. 'The elevator took too long.', he notes dryly. Loki heads over to the communicator. 'Let's hope you can build more than just suits and ships.' The communicator comes online and Tony watches the connection being established on his screen. Loki, on the left, looks perfectly like the prince he is, composed and confident as if he hadn't even noticed they pulled the Avengers out of hyper drive. On the other side of the screen, a strange red alien figure appears which looks surprisingly human once Tony gets over the color difference. The strange sounds start once more when the red man opens his mouth. Expecting Tony stares at Loki who seems completely unfazed, not even giving any inclination that he understood or just heard what the alien said.

Then the dark haired immortal opens his mouth and quite similar sounds come out, Tony doesn't even pretend to not gape. He hadn't known their trick would also work this far away on the other side of the galaxy. The door opens and reveals Thor who immediately frowns when he hears Loki.

'Does he believe this to be a good idea?'

'Is he threatening them?', Tony asks, a hint of panic in his voice. Thor just shakes his head and listens further in but doesn't elaborate. Tony is very tempted to pace or get out his suit and force Thor to tell him what the hell is going on. This can't be happening, not now. How could they have gotten so far only to be stopped now by some red aliens.

'What is he telling them?', Tony hisses when he can't stand it anymore. It bothers him to no end to not be able to make out these sounds. It's like back in the Citadel when they all had to rely on Thor and Loki to translate every piece of information for them.

Thor frowns, his eyes remain fixed on Loki. 'The truth. As close as possible at least.', is the only answer he gets.

So they aren't hostile. Or Loki sees no other way. It's not very calming but Tony hopes he knows what he is doing. The truth. With Loki that is a very loose concept.

Suddenly Loki turns around. 'They wish to come on board.'

'Who they? Kree?' Tony knows they have been close to the known territory of the Kree for a while now. Though the person on the screen has red skin, that doesn't has to mean anything.

'I do not think so. They belong to no one in particular and haven't met anybody for some time. We aren't quite in Kree territory yet, they tell me. They are still surprised to see a none-Kree spaceship out here and would love to come on board and meet us.', Loki explains.

'No attack?' Tony's heart doesn't slow down one beat. Couldn't Thor just have fucking told him so before?

'Nope, they just wanted to know who we are since this is the neutral zone and they wanted a chat with someone else than themselves. I could have said something about cargo we hold and they wouldn't even have slowed us down since we're no war ship or the like but I told them as much of the truth as possible. The Captain appears to be a reasonable person. That's another reason they want to meet you. They never saw a Terran, as they call you. Because we didn't answer they believed we might be in trouble and wanted to help. Apparently Ravagers, some kind of bandits, are out here and hijack unarmed ships. So they wanted to make sure we heard them, hence they hacked us.' Loki shrugs as if any of that would make sense.

'Terran.', Tony snorts. He isn't sure if he should feel offended or be happy to not be called Midgardian for a while. It makes him feel a little odd. 'Fine, tell them I'll open the hatch.' Loki nods, then continues to speak in the strange language. Only seconds later a small red blip moves from one of the bigger dots to their ship with an amazing speed. Tony gives the commands and opens the hatch while Loki and Thor inform and gather the rest of the team (which is easy since they all hover around the bridge by now, the alien voices being what they are and all)

The cargo hold never felt that full and Tony had even cleared a space for the landing ship of their guests by flying one of the Quinjets out of the way. The tension in the air is almost palpable as they wait behind the orange glowing barrier for the aliens to arrive. Tony had activated the energy barriers to open the hatches so they could stay in the cargo hold and nothing would be flying out and away. He is amazed how flawless they work (though not really surprised as he designed and build them).

The blackness of space is overwhelming, tiny white and orange and red specks are all over the sky/horizon, big and small stars, some with their own systems of planets, some barren, some already exploded and gone for centuries and just their light travels on. Tony feels tiny compared to this vastness. He is just a man in a tin can. What has he to do with the matters of these worlds? What's he got to do with anything here?

There is little time for his musings as a bright blue craft splits the vacuum of the outside and crosses the energy barrier without a scratch, then lands effortlessly. The air in the cargo hold whips around them for a second before the engine is cut.

Tony's fingers itch to take a closer look at this alien tech which seems much alike what he constructed but still. He unconsciously straightens when the hatch of the blue ship descends and three red figures exit it. His worries if they breathe the same air evaporate when they come down the ramp with a smile after taking a deep breath and packing away the masks they had been holding.

The strange sounds start again. Loki smiles and steps closer to them, answering in the same gibberish. The Avengers collect around Thor who is the only one being able to comprehend a word. It feels like back then in the Citadel when they were basically helpless and had to rely on Loki to talk to the strange beings and Thor to translate for them.

'They exchange just greetings. The red men say they are from a planet close by and are transporting fuel from their mines to their homeworld. Loki welcomes them on this ship. He introduces himself and us.' And true to the assumption, Tony fancies hearing his name in Loki's word flow.

Thor gives up trying to sort through the conversation and just translates what he hears. 'And you are the Captain of this fine ship? No, that is my friend, Anthony Stark. I fear he doesn't speak your language.', the regret doesn't carry through the language. 'Why not? Are you from one of the independent planets? Not exactly. We are from Midgard, or Terra as you call it. Than you are a long way from home. We thought the Terrans were a little.. A little what?' Apparently Loki can guess what he is about to say and chuckles lowly. 'A little behind.', the red man sounds embarrassed as far as Tony can tell. 'Terrans don't usually have this kind of technology. As far as we know they aren't even traveling their sun system. Are you send here for negotiations? No. We're not here on behalf of our planet though we would pass any message to them. We are more on an independent mission. Don't your companions speak? They do, just not your language. Where are you going?' There is a small pause. 'To the Nova Empire. And won't your crew need to speak with the natives? Well, we haven't figured out something. Why don't you use .. ?' Thor can't translate the word and shrugs helplessly. 'Sari, don't we have a few of them on board?' One of the men hurries back inside. 'Usually the children of our galaxy grow up with the general speak and their mother tongue. But for strangers the Nova Core invented a devise to be able to communicate with every civilization advanced enough to reach other planets. What is it?', Loki asks. 'A micro processor that docks onto the brain. It is harmless, you just swallow it and are then able to understand and speak the general speak.'

'How does that work?', Tony asks loudly.

The red men and Loki stare at him for a moment, the aliens smiling, their alien frowning, before Loki translates the question.

'It isn't painful though I never went though the procedure.' The other man returns from the ship, little violet pills in his hand. 'You swallow them, these are micro cells that enter your bloodstream and wander up to your brain to connect to your speech center. There they feed your center with information, how the words in general speak sound and how to pronounce them, and of course their meaning.'

After Thor translated everything, Tony ponders over this development. 'But we will still be able to speak our own language?' He doesn't like the sound of having some unknown microchips in his brain.

'But of course. It merely affects the translating part of your brain and offers impulses when there are none. I can show you how to control it.'

He nods, then raises a hand to tell Loki to stop translating. 'Do we really want alien tech in our brains? Surely learning another language can't be that hard.'

'Does it work on Terrans?', Loki asks them. 'Is it safe?'

'The only Terran I saw was quite alive and happy. Happy to rob me of my ship, but nevertheless. It is safe, I assure you. Please, see for yourself.' He gives Loki the strange pills, he hovers his hand over them, then nods.

'It is your decision.', Loki says to the Midgardians as he so fondly calls his friends. 'Thor and I won't mind translating.' The blond giant nods silently.

Tony thinks about the possibilities coming with this. 'They are really just friendly? What do they want for it?'

Loki asks them, then makes a face. Well, for Tony's standards it's pulling a face, for the aliens probably just a twitching muscle.

'They..' Loki sighs almost inaudible. 'They want the small transporter.'

Tony has to gulp. 'I can build another one should we get some materials. The engine is ready but..' He is thinking hard.

'You don't have to say yes. Maybe Thor and I can teach you something. Allspeak is no real option but maybe I could find a way to adapt it to human brains.'

'And how long would that take? I have been thinking about this for a while and it's of little use. A transporter is a small price for being able to ask for the way if we get lost or separated. We don't know where the stone is. It could take us months to find it as such a big group. If we could separate we would be quicker and more efficient. Quite possibly we land in a war zone and will draw too much attention to ourselves if we don't speak their language. We require stealth. Your Allspeak is experimental. Furthermore, it's just a Quinjet, if space-proof. I can build us another but we might never get this chance again. Tell him yes.', Tony says with conviction.

Loki holds his gaze and nods.

xXxXx

The loss of the Quinjet hurts. But being able to understand these guys from another world is far better than that craft could have ever been. Tony had lied a little about the Quinjet being easily reconstructed. They lack materials and probably the space but the price isn't too high. Can't be too high. They would still have two more which would have to be sufficient.

The pill really just had to be downed with a glass of water and some minutes later some of the words that were incomprehensible before, start to make sense as the receptors dock onto their brains.

'So, you are the Captain?', one of them asks after a few minutes when the pills start to really work. Tony isn't too sure if he is only imagining the prickling in his brain or if it is real. He hopes for the first.

'Looks like that. At least I build the ship and navigate and fly it. But we're more of a team.', Tony tells them. But he likes the sound. Captain Stark. Yeah, that could work.

'May we ask where exactly you are traveling to? Your friend seemed bend on not crossing Kree territory.'

'We heard the Kree are at war with the Nova Empire, our destination.'

The red man smiles genuine. 'You need not worry but carefulness is still advisable. The war is over though it hasn't been for long and there are still a lot bad blood. Most battles are over, though not too long ago there was an incident with some revengeful Kree so you should still stay out of their area if you don't seek a fight which your ship quite possibly can't win.'

'What about the Ravagers?' Tony remembers Loki mentioning them earlier.

He shrugs. 'They are just pirates. Occasionally they take over ships but only when they are said to contain valuable cargo. The Kree are your worst problem. The extremists are mostly confided by now. Still it is advisable to not cross their paths.'

'Where does the Kree territory start from here?'

'Don't you have a map?', he asks with a tilted head. 'There the borders should be marked.'

'Yes, we have but it might be a little outdated.' The red man nods, then rummages through his pockets. 'The Captain sold you the pills for quite a high price so I figure, you earned yourself this as well.' He holds out one of the flat round disks that Loki had brought from Alfheim. 'That's one of the latest maps of this part of the universe. It should lead you safely to any location within a few quadrants.'

'Thanks, pal.' Tony takes the disk with awe. Fortunately he had figured out how to read them out.

The aliens soon leave, one of them is flying their Quinjet since it is space-proof.

With any luck they wouldn't need that particular Quinjet anyway. Fortunately Tony had been able to deactivate Friday on the ship so they wouldn't be able to hack into their ship and had taken all of their gear out of it as well.. Trusting strangers is never too good.

Tony quickly gets the engine back online, and they are back on the way to Xandar. He puts in the disk and they take a close look at the map. Their original way still seems like the best way to their destination which doesn't lead them to Kree territory which they had wanted to avoid despite the warning of the travelers.

After the fight a few days ago, the group had been somewhat tense. Now, that alien life isn't just a possibility but an unalterable fact, they suddenly get along again.

'So, movie night? We still have to catch Steve up on some pop culture.', Clint suggests with a smile.


	59. Chapter 56 Where No Man Has Gone Before

Where No Man Has Gone Before

 _But as long as something is never even started, you never have to worry about it ending. It has endless potential.  
Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever _

Tony saunters into the communal kitchen, being the last to arrive there. He had actually gotten some sleep in his workshop this night after falling asleep over some last minute improvements. So it may or may not count as a healthy dose of sleep to the Captain who now eyes him with unveiled disappointment and worry as Tony fixes himself a cup of coffee that's entirely too strong to be good for him but, who cares?

'How have you slept?', Steve asks pointedly.

'Very good, my genius is quite comfortable, thanks for asking.' Tony smirks over the rim of his mug, Steve scowls some more but not worse than usual. 'I got our suits ready by the way.', he remarks offhandedly. 'It would probably be a lot better if you would have actively worn them before we land on Xandar.'

'I thought we wouldn't need extra equipment to stay alive there?', Clint asks.

Tony refrains from rolling his eyes. 'We don't. But since we know little about how they will react, I took the liberty on assuming that we won't get the Infinity Stone just by asking nicely.', Tony points out. 'Plus, it's just a little extra precaution and a nice surprise.'

Clint raises one eyebrow. 'But not like your armor, right?'

'Nope, these babies are made out of steel mesh, so they're wearable under some more inconspicuous clothes and also not quite as durable as mine. I strongly advise not trying to be hit by a truck or jump from a spaceship with it. But it has a sensor in it so we always know where our teammates are.', Tony explains.

'That could come in handy.', Steve points out. The brunet man tries not to be disappointed by how surprised he sounds.

'With our luck it just might.', Tony agrees. 'It also protects us none-aliens from oxygen starvation in case the atmosphere should be unsuitable.' He isn't really good at trusting people whom he had never met and who aren't even from the same planet.

'What does it need testing then?'

'Well, for one, Cap, after that incident with the plane I doubt your flying abilities.', he deadpans. 'And second, I need to see if it all fits and works.'

Apparently the good Captain gets the hint. 'They are flying?'

'They are space-proof. Of course, they are flying.' Duh. As if it would make any sense otherwise. Tony huffs annoyed. 'Just because you shouldn't throw yourself out of a spaceship, doesn't mean that these aren't going to enable you to do so.' Tony rolls his eyes. 'Why would I bother otherwise?'

They drop the theme over breakfast, then all of them head down to the cargo hold where there would be enough space to not be in each other's way all the time. Tony instructs the rest of his team how to don the sleek silver armor which doesn't take up more space than his undersuit. Carefully one by one move through the hall to get used to the feeling. Tony watches them, taking notes in his mind for further improvements.

'Wow.' Steve's movements are slightly jerky still. 'But it's getting me off-balance.', he complains quietly.

'It's supporting your movements. You gotta get used to that first. I had no idea what gravitation we might face so this seemed like the neatest solution.' Tony shrugs. 'The boots can also magnetize to keep you on the walls of a spaceship or the like in case gravity fails. They are tailored to your personal fighting habits so they shouldn't be overly in the way. Tasha was a little complicated, the flexibility wouldn't really work out..' Tony scratches his neck because he still isn't sure if he got it right. 'After a short settling-in period it should be better.'

'It's perfect, Stark. Good work.' Natasha smiles in a reassuring way as she walks around, her movements more fluent than Steve's already.

Bruce stands in one corner and doesn't even dare to move one inch. 'This is going to end bad.', he keeps muttering to himself.

Tony stands in the middle of the room and keeps an eye on the others as they all take their first careful steps. When no one requires his immediate attention, Tony runs a quick check of all the systems, including the thrusters in the boots and the mask. With Loki's help the problem of the oxygen source had been deflected pretty quickly.

Tony takes a deep breath when his feet leave the ground. It's been entirely too long since he had been in his armor and though he would prefer to wear his battle suit just in case, this lighter armor would do. He hadn't really have time to train much in his armor, he had too much on his plate. Friday would still be at the ready with the latest Mark model, just in case. He soars a little higher, enjoying that the ground becomes smaller. His movements carry him closer to the ceiling but he doesn't really mind. Gently he navigates through the hangar, checking out if all jets are responding as they should and being proud of his handiwork.

The others stare up at him, some with doubt in their eyes, some with caution.

'Flying lessons are up tomorrow. Let's hope this is just some cool toy we can play around with in the cargo hold and actually will not require.', Tony says with a smile when he touches the ground again, ignoring the pang of disappointment in his stomach. Everything always seems so much better when not touching the ground. It reminds him of his first high after building the Mark II when he nearly crashed into a street after the suit gave out because of the ice mantling, after the arc reactor became an inseparable part of him.

'You sure we should do something like that? I feel quite comfortable on the ground.', Steve eyes the boots warily.

They all get out of the suits, Tony packs them away again so they wouldn't get damaged by anything.

'Well done. They are brilliant.', Steve says on his way to the elevator, smiling brilliantly at him. Tony merely nods but can't fight the smile that creeps on his face. 'Aren't you coming upstairs with us? Lunch will be ready in half an hour.', he suggests.

Tony shakes it off. 'Yeah, I'll come up later. There are just some things I want to fix first. The panels on my boots didn't slide as I planned so I gotta take a look at that.' He evades looking at Steve directly.

'Tony, they are perfect.' Steve places a hand on his shoulder. 'Don't take too long. Tonight we're going to have a billiard tournament and I totally expect you to show up for dinner and be my partner. Otherwise you're forcing me to come down here and drag you up.'

Tony sighs as if it's a close call as to what would be more fun. 'Got me, Spangles. Now, chop chop.'

'Don't forget it.', Steve warns him when Tony shoves him to the door. 'I mean it. There will be enough strain on us once we reach our destination. We should use the remaining time to relax a little.'

Tony sighs and gives up forcing Steve out of the hangar, knowing it is as successful as trying to move this ship with just his hands. Without his suit he surely is no match for Cap. Steve turns around as soon as Tony gives up. He smiles slightly.

'I've been that bad, huh?' Tony scratches his neck.

'You work yourself to death if you don't stop this soon. We need you. I need you.', the Captain adds quietly.

Tony sighs. 'I just worry, alright? I want everything to work perfectly and smoothly. It would be my fault if we are unprepared or my tech stops working or..'

Steve cuts him short by placing a hand over his mouth. 'It's not your fault. We are all adults and you're doing all you can and more as far as I can judge.' His gaze is soft and comforting. 'When is the last time you slept in an actual bed? Or just hang out with us without running equations through your mind and typing away on your tablet? Take just one night off.', Steve asks.

'I've been neglecting you, I know.' Tony hangs his head with a sigh. This is just unfair. Can't Steve see that, if just one suit fails, just one part of the machine, just one circuit isn't in the right place, that this whole operation could be a gigantic failure and it would be on him? Again? The team still hasn't gotten over Ultron and the deaths that had followed are Tony's mistake.

'No but. No one holds it against you but you're only human. Everything is fine with the suits, you know that, I know that.' Steve leans down and tilts his chin up. 'You did a great job. Don't stand in your own way.'

'Just five minutes, okay?' Steve nods reluctantly. He kisses Tony lightly.

'I'll bring you some lunch later, alright?' Steve smiles a little, his hand glides one last time over Tony's cheek before he leaves the room. Tony leans heavily on the workbench and sighs. Steve deserves certainly better. The least Tony can do is try. Well, after the suits are fixed.

xXxXx

They are all assembled on the commando deck to watch their triumph together. Tony types away furiously on the keyboard to give the computer some last instructions, then a short shudder is all the Avengers feel as the new warp goes offline and the ship comes slowly to a halt. Then the normal engine comes back online but does nothing to stop them from stopping.

They can feel the ship slowing down considerably without the engine keeping them going. Thor holds Loki's hand tightly, trying to reassure them both.

'How long?'

'I wasn't exactly sure how long we will need for this stop now that we aren't forced to a sudden halt. We should reach the planet by the early afternoon. At least for us.', Tony informs him. 'I would rather not crash into a world.'

'Funny, Stark.', Loki comments.

'So, now we get to see it finally. Our destination, our adventure.' Tony turns around in his chair after watching the controls for several moments. It would be another half hour before they are slow enough to open the panels without taking too much of a risk, he prefers the ship in one part, thank you very much. 'Last time to change our plans.'

The Avengers chance glances at each other but no one says anything for some long moments. They had agreed to actively search for the Stone starting the next day for after being confided to the space of the September, despite its size, had taken its toll on any of them so a night off is exactly what they all need. Since their red skinned friends mentioned nothing of Thanos taking over Xandar, they wouldn't have to arrive in stealth mode and search for their price in the middle of the night.

Since none of them had visited the planet, they would decide if they could risking splitting up after arriving. Truth be told, Tony had holed up in his workshop all his life when he needed some free time and space from everyone but after all these months, he would be glad to see some other faces than just his friends. Any other faces, really. They could all need some time to cool off and get a clear head again before, again, being forced to fly back. An evening on a strange planet full of strange things and people sounds like heaven. Maybe that would even hush Tony's fears about space. Ever since the ship started its journey, sleep had eluded him effectively, much to Steve's dismay.

Of course, security comes first, so should it prove too dangerous to venture in groups of two or three, they would seek for entertainment as a big group. Anything to get out of these walls.

'Nope, Tony, we'll just..'

'Let ourselves be surprised. That's sums it about up. Great.' Tony claps his hands, then draws up a map of Xandar's surface. The nice red man had let it on the storage device. How accurate it is, none can tell. There is a big landing space but Tony isn't too sure that's where they will be directed. Tony isn't planning on taking his whole ship down, the scanner indicates that other, mostly bigger, ships also stay in orbit.

'Incoming call, Sir.', Friday announces not too long after.

'Patch them through.', Tony leans back to get his place assigned. He is a little surprised since he hadn't expected a call until well after lunch.

'Xandar air control center. Identify yourself.', a monotonous bored voice demands after some seconds of cracking lines.

'This is the September, from Quadrant -' Tony looks on the map and reads out the number of Earth's quadrant. 'Captain Stark speaking.' Oh yeah, he could get used to that. Maybe he would have to reprogram Friday after all. He leans back in the chair and doesn't even try to hide the smile.

If the other side of the line is surprised about his statement doesn't show in the pattern of his speech. 'State your business, Captain Stark.'

Tony smiles about the address. 'We need to refill some of our stockings and actually get out of this tin can for once.'

'How long are you planning to stay?' Now he fancies hearing a smile in the other voice.

Tony looks back to his teammates. 'Not clear yet. A week, maybe more, maybe less.', Tony says nonchalantly.

'I have a free space for a week if you don't plan to enter the atmosphere with that ship.'

'That sounds fantastic.' Tony grins. That it would be that easy none would have dared to hope. 'Where do we register?', he asks once the permission for entering the orbit and their designated position are sent to their ship.

'First time on Xandar, hmm?' Suddenly the voice sounds amused. 'That won't be necessary. We already scanned your ship, you and your crew are clear.'

'Well, thanks then.'

Tony is a little surprised when the connection gets cut. He thought his shields are good, at least decent. Maybe during their stay he could have a look at the scanners and/or other alien tech.

'Ready, guys?', he asks more to himself than his friends, as if they would have a choice but to witness his genius. They are on Xandar (well, almost) and Tony is the one who had brought them all here. He types in some quick commands for Friday, then the panels that cover the windows usually, slide to the sides, revealing a planet circling around three stars. It's surface is covered also in something that looks suspiciously like water for the most part, the rest seems to be an endless city covering every free square-inch of the planet. Briefly he wonders if this is what Earth could look like in a few scant centuries.

The team holds their breaths collectively for a few moments.

Finally.

'Then, let's get this started.' He puts in the coordinates and leans back while Friday brings the ship around the planet to their place. The view is spectacular with them still being several hours away from actually landing.

After a big lunch meal they all get dressed, then meet in the hangar. Tony had a little chat with the control guys from the air control center while the September orbited to the right parking lot, they had told him where to best land his Quinjet so that he and his 'crew' would enjoy the stay.

'Where are we going?' Loki steps into the cockpit from behind. The other Avengers had filed into the back.

'There is a landing pat down on the surface. It's shortly after noon for the Xandarians and since I'm going to be quite hungry again soon enough, I thought we could check out the shopping quarters and figure out a way to get some money while surveying the city.'

'So we got some hours before dark. I certainly would love to explore but we also have to save up our energies.'

'Yeah, Lokes, listen. I need a break, okay? Just some time away from this.' He motions to the cargo hold still surrounding them.

'Hopefully you won't find your way into the next bar.' Loki raises one eyebrow.

Tony laughs the silent accusation off. It's not like he has had time to get wasted these past few months or the few after or before Ultron. 'Not without all of you. It's better to have a super soldier, two gods, two assassins and a green rage monster on your side during a bar brawl. If I have to choose though, I'll take Brucie.'

Loki nods, then sits down next to Tony on the copilot seat. It's not that Tony would need a second person to help him fly this Quinjet anyway. Furthermore he had taught Loki the basics so that everyone can at least get the ship into space, not that that would be necessary for Mr Beam-Me-Up-Scotty. With a few pressed buttons the big hangar doors open to reveal space beyond their border. The energy barrier is firmly in place but they will be able to pass through without interference. Tony activates the security systems so no one would enter their ship during their absence.

The air control guides them to the nearest port. Tony barely has time to steer the ship and stare out of the windows in awe. The planet is gorgeous. The sparkling water seems to be everywhere, in the big oceans, in tiny specs all over the city, in lakes surrounded by skyscrapers which earn their name compared to the ones home. All too soon the flight ends and he can just make out the tiniest bit of the suburbs surrounding the port.

They land in the middle of a thousand other space ships, each one cooler than the last. A few men with red skin and one with pale advance on them with big, confident steps before any of the Avengers has time to get up or even exit the ship. Tony opens the door for them.

'Good afternoon, my name is Commander Jaalo.', the biggest of the red skinned people says. Is he related to their former acquaintances?

'Hi. I'm Captain Stark, this is my crew.' Tony stands up to meet them in the door.

'Captain.' The man inclines his head to acknowledge him. 'We will need your identifications and want to inform you about some of the rules of this planet.'

Tony nods. 'I fear there will be a problem with the identifications. We are not from your Nova Empire.'

'We are aware of that. We would request to either register you as is now a decree.'

'Of course. We aren't here to make trouble.' Tony reassures him.

'That is good. Would you now follow us? Your ship will be safe here.', he tells them with a smile. The Avengers get up and follow the strangers while Tony locks the door. Trusting people had never been his stronghold.

They walk past the ships, Tony in front of everyone with Loki plastered to his side (and Tony totally doesn't hold him there and hisses every now and then that he shouldn't dare retreat). The brunet man tries to concentrate on the different tech that surrounds but fails miserably. As they pass the different ships they also pass aliens and though Tony likes to think himself prepared for this experience, he can't stop staring at the alien life forms. Loki occasionally elbows him in the ribs (and not too gently either) but it doesn't help much. The people with the strange skin colors just look like regular people he is used to, most of them just with a body paint. But then they stumble across the first alien-alien. Like Tony had always thought strange creatures from other planets would have to look.

Finally they reach what must be the main base of the guards in the port. The door is too narrow to pass together so Tony steps before Loki, following Jaalo.

Tony hears a gasp behind him and turns back immediately. Loki stands with his hands raised to his eyes in the doorway. The blue tinge Tony had seen him only wear on Asgard (and that one time he killed his doppelganger), spreads all over Loki's body. He looks shocked and slightly panicking.

The guard seems to notice as well as he turns around and eyes Loki with an apologetic smile. 'Sorry. I should have warned you. We don't want Skrulls here and since shape-shifting is the surest way to identify them, this arc blocks all these abilities.'

Loki stares down at his hands.

'They aren't exactly liked in this part of the galaxy. This devise was build by the best scientists to expose them, should they dare come in disguise to our planets. You won't be able to shape-shift on this planet.' The guard sounds sorry.

'It's alright. I just.. didn't expect that.'

'That's the spirit, Lokes.', Tony tries to cheer him up. 'We will look much more intimidating with you this way.'

Loki shoves him playfully but apparently he gets over the initial shock pretty fast. 'Who are the Skrull?', he asks instead.

The guard raises his eyebrows. 'From which part of the galaxy do you come?' He shakes his head again with a small disbelieving smile. 'Right, Terra. But I thought they have none of your kind?' The guard looks at his screen. 'The scanners indicate a different origin.'

'Bellas and me aren't from Terra.', Loki informs him. 'It's Ikol.' Tony schools his features to not give away the lie. It wouldn't be clever for Thanos to hear about these two so close to his objective.

'Well, anyway, we can settle that in a few moments. Captain, will you start?' Tony nods and sits down in front of him. The man places his hand on a pad. 'It will scan you and then I'll need you to write down your data here and that of your crew as well. The Skrulls are a reptilian race from the quadrant on the other side of Terra. They are formchangers which makes them perfect spies. They have long been at war with the Kree, both trying to dominate the other. After they failed to more than drive the Kree back, they tried to turn to the Nova Empire and go from this side to the Kree Empire. We sought to keep out of the war but eventually some Skrull were sneaking in. That's when this system was introduced to stop the Skrull from invading our planets after they sought to start a war. Well, the Kree turned out to be the bigger problem. They feared we might struck a bargain with the reptilians to attack them from both sides at once. The Skrulls didn't attack after they found out that we figured out their strategy. They are cowards. Our tech was copied by the Kree which actively kept out any Skrull from this part of the galaxy.' The guard shakes his head. Suddenly he looks up. 'You know who the Kree are, right?'

They nod in unison. That seems to calm the guard.

'We heard of them.', Loki tells him. 'But we haven't actually seen any of them.'

The guard nods. 'Count yourself lucky. We aren't at war anymore since the peace treaty but they are still sniveling dogs. You never should meet with them on purpose, most of them are just crazy bastards. One tried to destroy Xandar not even a year ago.' He shakes his head in disbelieve. 'Freaky aliens. They don't honor the treaty. They are sneaky, not to be trusted under any circumstances, that's what I can tell you, no matter what the government says.'

'We evaded their territory.', Tony throws in while scribbling down their names and more data, making some of it up.

'Good choice. There are a lot of former Kree slaves on Xandar and our other planets. You wouldn't make a lot of friends, should you run around and shouting about a friendship with the Kree.'

'Don't you worry, we're not planning for a long stay neither way.' Steve puffs out his chest, Tony doesn't even has to turn to know. As if he would ever be on any side that is pro slavery.

'What are you planning?' Jaalo seems more relaxed now.

'Just relaxing after the long journey.', Tony says quickly.

'No diplomatic mission?' The guard shrugs. 'Maybe you're lucky, your planet is far off. Here allegiances get more and more important. That's the only reason the war ended at all. Both parties saw that there is even worse evil than each other.'

'Thanos.' The word leaves Thor's throat before anyone can stop him.

The guard looks up surprised. 'So you know of him?'

'We had a little run in with one of his armies.', Tony explains. That's all the Avengers say to the matter and soon enough the guard drops the theme and tells them about places they should visit should they find the time and even describes the procedures of getting into the government buildings so they could still think about approaching their leaders.

'They will know either way that you are here by tea. They want to keep track of Thanos and other species to see where he progresses. Maybe you will even get an invitation to tell your story.'

'An invitation?' Loki now sits in front of him. With his red eyes his frightening glare is even more intimidating.

'Just an invitation.' Jaalo raises his hands in defense for a second. 'You can decline of course. But our leaders maybe would like some first hand information about the Titan. To help each other. But if you say no, none of us will force you. We are a free Empire. You will have your reasons.' The guard shrugs, before returning to his task. Loki is the last of them to be checked. 'So, that would be all.'

'Thank you, then.' Loki seems calmer now.

The guard nods. 'Have a good stay here. Enjoy your day off.'

He waves after them when the Avengers leave the compound and turn toward east where the guard had said the best markets are. Not that they would have any money to speak of.

'We don't know if we have the same eating habits anyway. And having you guys try everything won't work either.', Tony comments as they walk past a food stand which smells like heaven after months of astronaut food. Their groceries weren't old or anything, but just the option to eat something else than what they have stored, to eat something on a foreign planet, is exciting and exhilarating.

'Maybe we can sell some spare parts tomorrow.', Bruce says. The aromas must get to him too.

Tony hums approvingly. Maybe some of the smaller parts wouldn't be used now that there is no fight they have to prepare for anymore. They wander the streets, admiring the view, breathing in the strange air with the different taste.

In the end they settle for a club when the suns set (and how cool is a triple sunset?) which isn't too far from the port. It's too big and too loud, even for Tony's liking. But it isn't charging a fee for mere entering and maybe Tony could talk the barkeeper into giving them one or two pints of whatever these aliens drink. Okay, maybe he can talk Loki into talking to that guy. A woman is offering some live entertainment by singing songs in languages the translator doesn't cover. They look around and finally spot a table at the far end which offers enough space for their group of seven.

'Hey, if that isn't the god of thunder.'

The whole group freezes when the slightly slurred exclamation comes not too quietly from the direction of the stage. The songs had stopped, the music follows suit. Tony looks to the front to realize the woman in question isn't yelling, she holds a microphone in her hand, a big grin spreads across her face. Long, unruly brown hair encompasses her, it reaches down to her waist. She wears lascivious clothes, a tight fitting, sleeveless, black shirt and a rather short skirt and tights.

She throws her head back and laughs loudly and full of joy. What is played and what is the booze because she probably has had a few too many drinks, Tony can't tell. Nevertheless, the whole club is now turning to them not the least bit bothered by the interruption. Instead they seem delighted that she spotted them.

'Thor! And..' She stops and her face falls for a moment before she picks up that wide grin again. 'Isn't that Loki? Loki! Let's hear it for my old friends!'

The crowd cheers as she jumps down the stage and flounders over to the Avengers as if they just waited for them all to arrive for the party to get started. .

'Well, that is a surprise.' She grins widely, having dropped the microphone somewhere. The music resumes but the group remains silent.

Thor is the first to recover, his eyes widened in shock.

'Elena.'

xXxXxXx

 **Oh oh. What's that now? I have no idea where that came from but after the events in the Citadel she just wouldn't leave my mind. :) Not sorry. Well, next week an explanation will follow.**

 **Just for your interest, this work will probably have around twenty to twenty-five chapters more. I got a plot twist planned and since that might be a theme of Thor Ragnarok, I will try to get it out before November less someone should feel spoilered and/or accuse me of stealing the idea. It just came to me and now I am a little stressed. :D Sorry, I won't spoiler my own work. Only wanted to inform you of the progress. Have a nice week(end)! Action is about to commence.**

(Title is inspired from Star Trek, or rather a quote. As if you didn't notice.)


	60. Chapter 57 Of All The People

Of All The People

 _I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.  
Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_

'Elena.'

The word is strangled. Thor just keeps staring at the brunette woman who walks over to them from the stage where she had sung not moments ago.

'Hello, Thor, Loki. And hello.' Her whole demeanor changes when she catches sight of Bruce, her grin gets predatory. 'Who are you, gorgeous?'

'B-Bruce.', the scientist stutters. He obviously isn't comfortable with her coming so close. Her hands rest of his chest and shoulder, her intense gaze is fixed on him.

'Elena.', Loki repeats. He is thunderstruck and Tony guesses he is not capable of any other words. Thor just stares at her wordlessly. Then the name sinks in. Elena. But surely not the Elena. Not the cute, responsible Elena they had met in the alternate reality, other Thor's wife, the mother of his children who had quite selflessly helped them? Tony tries to make the connection between the queen of Asgard they had met and this lost creature. She seems more than a little intoxicated but knows exactly who stands in front of her. The big grin and the careless laugh aren't played, he can now, that she is up close, see that. Nevertheless, there is no mistaking, the woman in question does indeed look oddly familiar.

The facial features of the woman are different, this woman has aged differently, has seen pain and destruction. She doesn't look particular for the worse. Her hair is much the same though much more untamed, and her face has a few more wrinkles than it had in the Citadel. She is probably doing this, singing and partying with her 'friends' in this bar, every evening of the week and one can see that. Has he looked the same before Afghanistan?

She turns a little away from Bruce but her hand remains on his shoulder. Elena is surprised that there are indeed still others around her. 'Yes, didn't expect to see me right?' She grins again. 'Well, I neither expected you to just run into my club like this.' For some reason this is hilarious, at least for her.

'How?' It's Thor's first word apart from her name.

'How? How what?' A brief frown crosses her face. 'How I got out of the Kree occupation? Oh, that was easy. It's a little embarrassing to admit but for the first time I waited for you to actually come and safe me.' She laughs like it's the funniest thing she ever heard. 'Silly me.' She wipes the tears from her eyes. 'It's good to see you though. And I see that Loki finally embraced his true heritage.' She eyes his Jotun form for a moment. 'Hiding doesn't work here, does it? You'll get used to it.' Another thought crosses her mind. 'Anyway, I might have been responsible for the death of a high Kree general, then had to flee the Empire and landed here. It was just a small step but the Nova Empire rewarded me for this 'act of defiance' and 'help'. You know where you're staying already? But you didn't find out just yet, did you, Loki?' Worry creases her brow for a second before humor takes over again. 'Of course not. Wow, that's a mighty nice ring. Fit for a prince.' Elena grins leisurely at Thor. 'Your tastes haven't changed much, Thor.'

She doesn't seem to mind in the least that her friends of old are married or that Loki isn't his usual pale self. Tony thinks she is over the top. She can't concentrate on a single thing for longer than a heartbeat it would seem. Had he also been like this in his partying time? God, he hopes not. That's when his gaze finds her right arm which appears to be a giant scar. Tony keeps his features schooled and tries not to stare too much at it. But he can't help but wonder how these scars came to pass. It looks like a burn but gigantic and Tony questions that she would have kept her arm if that much of the skin looks like this now. There must be more to the story of the dead general than she lets on. Tony can almost see the repression, can see a part of his younger self in her. Just she probably has to deal with more than the loss of her parents.

Loki looks down to the floor, apparently slightly embarrassed.

She doesn't seem to notice or at least doesn't care. 'Of course you could have done better. I mean, what do you want with him? Nothing against you, Thor, but Loki and I are quite alike. I cannot possibly imagine what you could offer to keep his interest.' She is honestly puzzled like it's a problem Elena just can't solve. 'You're quite a talent in the bedroom but you're so dull.' She rolls her eyes in exasperation. 'Seriously, did you ever read? I would have cared more about Loki but well, he was.. pretending not to like men and failing miserably, so you were the closest reason to stay close. But seriously, Loki, what is it with him? Has he gained a brain while I was gone?'

'I-' Loki is too shocked to offer much. This is probably not what he expected to hear from her. Even Tony is a little bit put off for Thor. Did she really think so or has whatever almost killed her took her self-restraint with it? Even though Tony thought Thor himself a little dense, even he, Mr I-say-what-I-want, wouldn't have said that to his friend like that.

'Do you have a place to stay? No, just your ship.', Elena answers her own question in the same heartbeat. 'We got some catching up to do, my place is kinda close. And you look hungry. I do believe I could.. remedy that.', Elena says in Bruce's direction with a wink.

Brucie can't do more than stare at her disbelieving.

'That's settled then, let's get out of here.', she decides and drags the scientist to the door. The others don't have much of a choice but to follow if they don't want to leave Bruce to that maniac woman.

'At least we'll get some food out of this.', Tony notes with a smile that almost fades under the withering glare of Loki. But only almost. His empty stomach is complaining already and sleeping somewhere else than the spaceship sounds like heaven. Maybe they'd get to see more of the true Xandar with Elena. She is a little creepy and Bruce would probably be happier if they'd leave instantly and could forget about everything (as if Tony would ever stop teasing him about this), Loki and Thor look mostly confused and not happy about this altogether.

'Something is wrong.', Loki hisses.

'Do you feel something?', Thor asks.

Loki almost glares at him. 'It's her if that's what you mean.' Tony can't help but be relieved that they at least didn't encounter another duplicate or the like. 'But.. Still. Something is wrong with her. That's not the Elena we know.'

'What do you know about her? You told me she was enslaved. And please, have you seen her left forearm?', Tony snorts. 'Judge her if you want. We all need different things to cope.'

Loki frowns a little. 'She used to have a black mark there.', Thor notes, still lost in thought.

xXxXx

Elena, or at least the woman who looks like her, stands in the spacious kitchen. She had ushered them all into the living room, then vanished here. Loki hadn't been able to wait any longer.

There are empty plates on the counters which are apparently for food. Elena hunches over them and whispers some strange words which sound like a summoning spell which refuses to work. Frustration is written over e very line of her tense body.

'I can do that on my own.', she snaps when she sees Loki raising his hand to help her.

'I know.', he says calmly to not rise her further. Her eyes blaze dangerously for a moment longer, then her focus returns to the task at hand. He doesn't show how shocked he is by how little magic he detected when he reached out to help her.

Is that what had happened to her? She apparently had lost her touch with magic in the centuries between their last meeting. But could it have changed her this much? Loki remembers the words of Alfheim's king, that she has to be dead for her magic stopped working. For her it must have been like dying. Loki remembers the feeling of being separated from his magic, it was like a part of him had been missing. He had just had to suffer through this for two years, and his magic had in that time gradually returned. If this is what she can do after four or five centuries, he cannot even begin to fathom her pain. But is it enough to drive her mad?

Finally the spell works and a triumphant smile curls her lips. Elena turns back to Loki, the same strange glint in her eyes from earlier is back.

'So, what's about you and your fiancee?', she asks, leaning back. The counter takes more of her weight than she lets on, Elena is tired out by a simple spell, crosses Loki's shocked mind.

'We're married.', Loki is quick to correct her.

A smile tucks at her mouth. 'Sure you are. Don't worry, I wouldn't steal him, because honestly? What would I want with him.' Can she see that easily through him after all these years? 'You fit greatly but he is quite stupid, as you know.' Elena raises her hands in defense. 'No offense, there are worse reasons to start a marriage than great sex. I am more interested in your quiet and handsome companion.', she grins. 'He is quite something, isn't he?'

'How would you know he is more intelligent than Thor?', Loki asks, feeling his defense rise. Only he is allowed to point out the mistakes of his husband. He is proud of Thor and what he became. Even if the likes of her can't appreciate it.

Her stare turns disbelieving. 'I felt him. He is surging with power. It is.. exhilarating. So even if he is not intelligent and no match for our like, he interests me greatly. We should eat before it gets cold.', she points out.

She wants to walk past him but he grabs a hold of her arm. Stark had been right. Loki can feel the texture of the scars beneath his fingers. Gently he pulls her closer to look directly first at her arm, then at Elena. She looks frightened and distraught. Insecure. For the first time her masque slips. For a moment she looks dangerous, then just hurt.

'What happened?', he asks softly, looking into her eyes to see if they betray any of her emotions.

Elena seems to regain some control like she can't deal with his sympathy. She merely shrugs but tucks her arm from his grasp firmly. 'Oh, you know. People figuring out that I would be far easier controlled by taking my magic.' The grin returns as if it never had been gone. 'Didn't really work out for them now, did it?'

Her smile looks sincere enough as always but now Loki can tell it's fake. There certainly are lines on her face that shouldn't be there. She had lost the innocence in her face.

During dinner everyone else is introduced though Elena doesn't seem overly interested in any names. She is sitting all too close to Bruce but the brunet man has no where to go anymore. He already sits on the edge of the causeuse.

'So you're all from Midgard, aren't you?', she asks, licking her lips.

'Y-yes.' Her vicinity does nothing whatsoever to calm the poor man.

'There is another Terran on Xandar, I could introduce you. He has made a name of himself lately. There was that Kree fanatic, he attacked Xandar some months ago. Ronan tried to use one of the Infinity Stones to accomplish his goals.' She laughs and rolls her eyes. 'Not the most clever fellow. Anyway, that little team saved this world. They should be back on Xandar by tomorrow, the celebrations of Xandar's survival are due. Maybe we'll get to see them before that.'

'It's really good.' Tony points at the food to stop her rambling.

She smiles, pleased with herself. 'Excellent, do you want more?'

Tony stops her with a wave of his hand. 'It was delicious but I am full. I bet our doctor could still eat something.' He smirks widely. For a moment Elena seems put off by the name but she quickly catches up.

'Is that so, Bruce?' She eyes him up and down. The scientist remains quiet, looking like he would love to be anywhere but here.

After dinner she shows them the three guest rooms because the day had tired them out greatly and Elena seems to have other things on her mind by now.

'I bid you a good night.', Loki bows slightly, remembering his manners when they come to the last room.

Elena grins. 'Let's hope.' Without further preamble, she catches Bruce by the collar and kisses him. The Avengers are too surprised to do more than stare how their shy, uptight Doctor Banner first freezes, then suddenly, when she runs a hand over his arm, drags her closer and kisses the brunette back. No one says a word when they break apart, Elena with a smug grin, Bruce with an unreadable expression and she drags him down the corridor to where, probably, her room lies.

'Right.', Tony breaks the silence. 'Lucky bastard.'

Steve smacks him on the arm. All of them turn to their rooms, Clint bunks over at Tasha, as per usual when Bruce isn't there, no one says another word.

'What was that about?', Thor asks after they close the door. The room isn't really big but Loki certainly had slept in worse. There is a big bed in the middle of it, some arm chairs and tables, a desk with a chair and a small bookcase. The style somewhat resembles that of Alfheim, the way the wooden carvings are made, the way the light falls into the room.

Loki shrugs and tries to act nonchalant and not overflow with joy that she hadn't just pretended to like Bruce to get to his husband. 'I guess she likes him. Why?'

Now it's Thor's time to shrug. 'It was.. unexpected. She has changed greatly.'

'So have we.', Loki reminds him. 'She probably doesn't recognize us any better.'

Thor is silent for some minutes as they get ready for bed. 'Is it true? Do I bore you?' His worries are almost just a whisper.

'No. I got used to your pig-headedness a long time ago.' Loki grins to show Thor it was a mere joke. The ravenette lets his hand trail over a stubbly cheek. 'I love you, you love me. We don't have to worry about fitting.'

The corner of Thor's mouth quirks. 'We complement each other well, brother.'

The blond embraces Loki. He just hopes Thor is right. He can't stop the nagging feeling though that it might not have been for the best to find Elena safe and more or less sound.

xXxXx

Loki sits in the dining room in the morning with Thor, Steve and Tony when Bruce stumbles in, looking thoroughly disheveled. He blushes a bright red when he notices them eating breakfast already. Apparently he had hoped to be up earlier than the rest of them.

The city had awoken early and none of them is used to this additional noise. The streets are full of people and the starting and landing of spaceships in a distance do nothing for a good nighttime's rest. Thor and he had let some of the surprisingly clean air into the room and left the window open for the night. Loki is sure if it hadn't been for the past few months in the absolute silence of space they would have slept soundly through the morning rising of a planet.

'I see someone who had a good night.', Tony leans back in his chair and grins at Bruce.

The doctor blushes and averts his eyes. 'It was a mistake.', he murmurs quietly.

'Why? She no good?' Loki barely refrains from hitting his head on the table. Only Tony could ever be as shameless as to ask the mortified Bruce something as indiscreet as that.

Bruce blushes even more. 'I don't know what overcame me.' He chances a look in Loki's direction but the Jotun just shakes his head. No, no magic had been included or he would certainly have stopped her. Elena's magic is most similar to his so Loki thinks he should most definitely be able to sense it out. Despite, after what he saw yesterday evening he doubts she would waste her few energies on charming a man. Especially not someone as strong as Bruce, or his other half the Hulk. Bruce looks down to his plate again, burying his face in his hands.

'There is some food in the kitchen. I bet you're starving.' Tony smirks widely as Bruce retreats.

'You don't need to be so mean to him.', Steve scolds him immediately when the doctor flees the room.

Tony raises his arms in defense. 'I am happy for him. Was about time he let a little lose and why not with a woman who could keep up with Thunderpants there? Brucie couldn't hurt her if he tried.'

'But what if I tried? It's far too difficult.', Bruce says when he comes back in. He had calmed visibly and is no longer as flustered as before. 'I didn't lose control this time but it is too dangerous.'

Thor doesn't participate in the discussion but just stares down on his still full plate as if all the answers lie there, Loki observes with worry. His husband had barely eaten anything which is never a good sign.

'I lost my head, okay?', Bruce defends himself.

'First time since before, huh?'

Bruce nods once, his eyes fixed on the alien food on his plate. 'First time since Betty.', he admits quietly.

'No surprise then that Hulk's so aggressive.', Tony remarks which earns him a glare from the other three minus Thor. 'You know you can't deny yourself any kind of fun and relaxation forever, right? There's nothing to be ashamed of.' The glares don't stop. 'What? He is talking to the king of one-night stands. Who am I to judge?' Steve casts a disapproving look at Tony but doesn't comment on the matter.

Bruce mumbles something unintelligible.

Clint and Natasha join the group some minutes later.

'There you are.' Elena enters the room beaming at Bruce. He shrinks in the chair and tries to be small and unobtrusive but she doesn't seem to notice. Instead she sits down next to him and kisses his cheek. 'What's up, gorgeous?'

So maybe she did notice something. Bruce doesn't seem at ease in her presence and his blush returns. Loki takes a close look at Elena. She had certainly changed from the night before, still a little restless but far calmer and more reasonable. Maybe she could be of help after all. If Bruce wouldn't mess up their chances of getting said help from her.

'I am sorry about last night.' He straightens his back slightly and leans away from her.

'What are you talking about?', she asks with a frown.

He wants to get past this as quick as possible. He takes a deep breath, steeling his resolve. 'I endangered your life. You couldn't know and I let this happen.'

She looks more amused than worried. 'I do not believe you could endanger me in any way. Bruce, Thor and Loki would probably need to team up to seriously endanger me.' Elena smiles. Maybe it was like that, Loki thinks, when her magic still worked.

'I-' She cuts him short by leaning over. Bruce draws back and blushes profoundly. He takes a deep breath and turns back to the team.

She watches him for a moment, then shrugs. 'What's up today?'

'We want to get some information for our purposes.', Steve says, sitting up tall. He doesn't give more information than strictly necessary but leaves them the option to ask Elena for it. He trusts Loki and Thor's judgment on this matter.

'Right, what else would you be here for?', she asks with a smile. 'Knowledge is power, isn't that right, Loki?' She stands up to give them time to talk about whether to ask for her knowledge or not and heads for the kitchen. But there isn't really a question to be asked. Of course they would need her help, her knowledge of this place to actually find the people with answers, and her guidance are priceless, especially since they have no money. Loki had found most of their knowledge in her notebooks but a lot is still remains a secret to him for he doesn't know her mother tongue.

They all nod in silence, agreeing on their future course of action. When Elena returns, she holds a wine glass with an almost black liquid in her hand and sits down. Slowly she sips on her drink.

'Don't you think it's a little early for a drink? I am sure it's after five o'clock somewhere, still.', Tony says with a raised eyebrow. They wouldn't want a repetition of last night. She needs to be focused and have a clear mind to give them reliable information.

Elena throws her head back, laughing. 'It's no alcoholic beverage. It's rather keeping me alive.' She swirls the black liquid in the glass. 'Fascinating how something so vital can be so deceiving.'

As she seems to be in a talkative mood, Loki takes a chance.

'How did you lose them?', Loki asks. He is interested.

'I didn't.' Lost in thought she strokes the scars. 'It is true, usually I am stronger than this. This', she raises the glass, 'will restore at least a little of my powers in a few moments. My kin draws its strength from out homeworld. Without it, my powers start to evaporate. The last time I was on my planet was shortly after my escape. This is merely a substitute.' She doesn't seem to mind sharing her weaknesses now where she was highly aggressive about last night.

'Did.. he do that to you?' Loki nods at her arm. How should he refer to her captivator?

She looks up, surprised how anyone could think that. 'No. The man who owned me was a good man. One of the few Kree I think I could have called my friends if we would have met under different circumstances. No, this was done to me far earlier. I don't know what you have heard of the fall of my planet.' She reaches over to take a hold of Bruce's hand. Though he struggles a little at first, he soon gives in and lets her hold it.

'The Kree invaded it, killed half of your people and enslaved the rest.' It's best to get it out as fast as possible.

She smiles wistfully. 'That is indeed the official story for it has become the outcome. Our leaders, the royal family, had a deal with the Kree. They sold us out. But the Kree double-crossed them and after having been invited in, they took over all of our planet, killed the royal family and most of my people. We fought but it was for naught. I watched a lot of friends and acquaintances die that day. The ones of us who could work were taken to the mines to vegetate and in the end die there, and the ones pretty enough to..' Here she stops. 'Most choose to rather die than serve the Kree. I was hit unconscious during the fight. When I woke up, it was too late. They bound me with shackles that suppressed my magic for some years. Then they took harder measures after I killed some of my guards.' Her gaze returns to her arm. 'My powers weren't completely erased but I couldn't end my life anymore. For so many had died that they forced me to stay alive. After a while, after ensuring my submission, I was sold. The constant pain of losing my powers was sure to drive me insane. Fortunately my powers weren't fully taken and slowly came back. My Master even let me use them sometimes.' Her voice sounds hollow and matter of fact like she states simply facts and not her personal destiny. As Elena relates the last part to them though, she squeezes Bruce's hand.

'How did you get here?', the scientist asks.

Elena shrugs. 'I had not much of a choice. The Kree wanted to rid themselves of him, then framed me for the murder. Who would you believe? A slave who had been imprisoned for decades, almost two centuries, who has every good reason for hating her owner, or your leaders? They wanted to kill me as well but I could flee after the bond with my Master was broken. I managed to land on my planet.' Her gaze is distant and slightly misted with tears. Her voice grows heavy with emotions. 'They completely tore it apart. There was nothing left of it. I was picked up by one of the Nova Empire patrols in that sector, they brought me here. They had heard of his death and rewarded me for it. I couldn't really tell them the truth, that I would have never killed him because I didn't have a life anymore, that there was nowhere to go, no one to see. But I couldn't let such an opportunity pass. I was never one to turn down a possibility.' She smiles slightly.

Something akin to rage raises its ugly head for a moment before Loki fights it down. Is that what Thor had been for her? A possibility? It's unfair to judge her so harshly, he knows. That still doesn't change the way he feels about it.

'That's how I landed here. And there wasn't really anywhere I could go, was there?' Elena smiles wistfully.

'You could have come back.', Thor says softly.

She snorts. 'And then what? I'm not the same. Even you should have gotten that. I didn't want to pretend anymore. I am no Elf, I didn't want to explain why I lied. Seriously, what was I supposed to say? Our relationship was over, Thor. I mean we were friends, and yes, I would have loved to return to Alfheim and I guess Thran would have had a place somewhere in the woods for me. Still, I couldn't return.' She shakes her head more to herself.

Silence descends over the group for some time, each thinking about how close they might have gotten to see Earth in much the same state as her homeworld must be now or about how Elena changed so much, had seen so much and still stands there, ready to go on though she is tired of life.

'Have you heard of Thanos?', Tony eventually asks to distract them all. It seems to work as their host snorts.

'The Mad Titan? Who hasn't? That Ronan sure as hell was sent by him. Thanos, the conqueror of planets. He rips them apart and leaves none alive to tell the tale. He is feared across the whole galaxy.' She shudders. 'He is a monster.'

'You also called him Titan. So he has a homeworld.' Loki hadn't really found out a lot about him, no one in their realm seems to know anything.

The question seems to puzzle Elena. She frowns slightly. 'Of course he does. He is from Titan, a moon of a planet called.. Satoorn, I believe.'

The group freezes for a moment.

'Saturn, by any chance?', Tony asks, panic clearly written all over his face.

Her face brightens up. 'That's it, thank you. I do think this Saturn is orbiting around the same star as is Midgard. He was banished by his kinsman from all the nine realms a long time ago. He is old and powerful. Knows magic no true sorcerer would ever consider using. The scum of the galaxy gathers around him and inhabits the planets he claims for himself. He surely has been responsible for setting Ronan up with the Power Stone.' She nods to herself.

'What do you know about the Infinity Stones?'

'Who doesn't know the story? I got it from some creepy old man at the end of the galaxy. He didn't know much more than I did. The six entities of the time before this universe manifested in stones, time, reality, power, space, soul and mind, everything this universe consists off. Thanos seeks them to destroy everything.'

'He wants to rule it.', Steve's voice is flat.

She shakes her head. 'He seeks revenge for being banished. But that is not why. It is rumored that his mistress is Death.'

'Like, a woman called death? A mutant or another superhuman?', the super soldier asks.

'No, I know of no such thing. She is said to be the incarnation of death itself. She doesn't bring death, she is death. For her, Thanos seeks to destroy the universe to lay all the lives in it at her feet as a courtship present.'

'Is there such a thing? Death manifested?', Loki asks.

Elena shrugs. 'It is unheard of. In your universe, the souls go to Hel, in others are other places, but it is unheard of. We're not talking about a goddess of death, we are talking about Death. Where would she come from? What would Death do? It's useless to speculate. That is what rumor says. And Thanos kills all who know the truth. But it is true, in his exile, he never took a wife. Whatever may be true, he doesn't seek to dominate, not for all eternity. There is a bigger end goal.'

'And you aren't worried about that?', Loki wonders out loud.

A lopsided grin curls her lips. 'Not in the slightest. I got my ticket out of here a long time ago.'

'Ticket?'

Elena shrugs. 'You really believe there is only one reality? How naive are you? I got someone who will drop me off should this one ever cease to exist. Maybe that's what I need, not a new world, but a new plane of existence.'

Loki raises one eyebrow. 'How did you do that?'

'Oh, don't look at me like that, Loki. I didn't threaten a reality warper. I might be insane but I have no immediate death wish. I couldn't force him should my life depend on it. He is all-powerful. I knew his homeworld. Wandering reality planes as he does is a lonesome business. I offered my company so long I would be looking for a new home. Anyway, we should get back to your plans. Of course you are after Thanos and the Infinity Stones.', she deduces. 0

'Yes. We are looking for the Power Stone, hoping he doesn't have it yet.'

'No, he has it not. But where it is now, you won't reach it either. Ronan, the Kree manic, wielded the Power Stone to destroy Xandar. Guesses are that Thanos sent him to retrieve it, but Ronan rather followed his own agenda. Quill and his companions, the ones that stopped him, gave it to Nova Prime so she would keep it safe here.'

'And is it? Safe?' Tony crosses his arms.

She shrugs. 'Not sure. Xandar's defenses failed before. Wouldn't it had been for Quill, everyone here would be dead and I would have to move my residence to another planet and look for new things to live from.'

'We would need to talk about this with the leaders of this world.' Loki chances a glance to the others. 'We already have two of them in our possession. The Reality Stone and the Space Stone. Both have found their way to us in less then two years as well as Thanos' army. He threatened Midgard and Asgard and now has every reason to hunt us down. The Power Stone was activated, they even felt it on Asgard.'

Elena nods. 'That was to be expected. Of course, Thanos knows where it is. He hasn't tried to get it yet but that doesn't mean anything. Maybe they would think it wise as well to get the Stone away from Xandar where he is sure to get it. On the other hand, he will take revenge upon them anyway.'

'They don't plan to use it, do they?', Loki asks with apprehension.

'No idea. But wouldn't you? I know.' Elena raises her hands in defense. 'It is dangerous. But being killed by Thanos isn't much better.'

'It could destroy the universe.'

'And rather have Thanos do it, than risking doing it yourself? That's ridiculous but in the end your decision. We'll try to find Peter today, he will get us into the vault with the stone, then you can argue your case. I wouldn't expect much of it and Quill probably won't be a big help. He took great pains to bring it here, unless he thinks it is unsafe here, he won't agree I think.

xXxXxXx

 **Some notes on the text. The famed reality warper we're talking about is, of course, the one and only Wiccan (known from Young Avengers). Not sure if we will get back to him later, but it matters little if you do or don't know him.**

 **Second, Thran. :) For those of you who have seen the Hobbit movies, yes, we're talking about the same person. This takes place after the war of the ring (as if it could somehow play before that) which effectively leaves Thranduil as the only Elven king in Middle-earth (And no, Celeborn never claimed the title of a king, dear LotR-reader).**

 **The background story of Thanos is mostly from the Thanos War (IM #55, Captain Marvel #25-33 and Avengers #125 (somewhen around 1974)). I read it a big while ago and didn't just copy it from some wiki page though I had to look up the issues again.**

 **And we will soon find out the reason why Elena is a little.. unstable. :)**

(Not sure if I should feel sorry for Bruce or cheer for him). **See you all next week!**


	61. Chapter 58 The Guardians Of The Galaxy

The Guardians Of The Galaxy

 _You can never be overdressed or overeducated.  
Oscar Wilde_

It takes another half hour for all of them to redress in Xandarian clothes, courtesy of Elena, so they wouldn't have to wear their clothes from yesterday. The clothing isn't much different from what the Midgardians are used to, maybe a little with Asgardian influences. Thor doesn't mind the new set, they would not stick out as much as yesterday. The clothes are loose enough to comfortably host Stark's suits beneath them without anyone getting wrong ideas of them being armed to the teeth. Not that it would matter much, Thor had seen a lot of armed and armored creatures yesterday. None would spare them a second glance.

They leave the building on the other side from which they came inside last night. The streets look far better than before, more airy and well kept. They are plastered with white stone, the buildings are tall and look expensive. He hadn't believed Elena would live in a better part of the city.

Having suddenly been exposed to Elena's presence, had greatly disturbed Thor. He still can't wrap his head around this whole incident. They had walked into the club to let the day fade away in peace, maybe with a drink should one be available, when they had suddenly ran into her. She hadn't looked like she used to, it had taken Thor's perplexed mind a few moments to recognize her. This is most certainly not the witty but cute girl he had met on Asgard.

How is he supposed to be towards her? A glance to Loki this morning had confirmed that Loki does believe her to have no interest in him. Still, he doesn't want to give anyone wrong ideas. She has been very close to Thor and very dear. What is left of that girl, is hard to tell. She had outright refused him and though Thor doesn't really care, he is married and certainly not interested, he is still hurt. Apparently she doesn't even see him as a friend anymore. The whole night he had lain awake to ponder this mystery. She had been captured by attackers, had lived in slavery for a man, and had found a way out by herself. Thor wonders just how much she blames or at least blamed Loki and himself for this, if she had truly waited for them to come to her rescue despite everything. He certainly blames himself and his father. Odin had known of her fate long before his sons and hadn't lost a word on the matter, only declared her dead.

The king of Alfheim cannot be blamed, he had thought her dead after she lost her magic, had even helped her to the best of his limited abilities by corresponding with her before that. Wherever his thoughts turned, Thor cannot find sleep or even indifference. If just half of the things Elena had told them had happened to her, it is no big surprise that she now is how she is. Thor remembers how resentful Loki had been at first when being confronted with his limitations after the martyrdom with Thanos. It is, however, a surprise that the brunette is willing to help them. After all, Thor wouldn't blame her for wanting to have no remembrance of her past, happy, life.

This part of the city Elena lives in, the Avengers hadn't seen before. It looks more like the district in which the Mansion of Stark stands than the area around the Tower. Many different alien races walk past them without sparing them a second glance, just as Thor had assumed. Elena's leading the group through the wide streets. Cars, or whatever passes as such here, drive by them.

'Where are we going exactly?', Tony asks, catching up with their guide. He strides with the same confidence with which he treads the streets of his hometown. Steve walks behind them with Natasha and Clint, all of them keeping an eye out for possible dangers. The unwilling Bruce has been dragged to the front and since he didn't seek further confrontation all he has done to defy Elena had been withdrawing his hand from her but continuing to walk right next to her and Tony. Loki and Thor are the last. The blond isn't sure what to make out of Loki's behavior, merely puts his arm around the ravenette's shoulders and waits for him to broach whatever subject is weighing heavy on his heart. Pressurizing him will not do any good.

'I do guess you took the official way in, didn't you?', Elena asks with a chuckle. 'Well, they probably won't. We're going to search their ship in the port. Maybe we are lucky, otherwise I will contact Quill for you.' She shrugs. 'Let's hope he is already on Xandar or will arrive in no time. Otherwise we are going to just try talking to the people having the Stone in their possession. But with them it will be easier.'

Tony nods and continues to question her about the life here in general, keeping the questions more lighthearted than they had been this morning. Soon they tell each other stories about their respective lives, she seems just as interested in the changes Midgard had gone through since she last saw it. Elena also tries to include Bruce but he answers rather stiffly and she soon resumes her conversation with Tony. He had always been the charmer, at least that's what the others had said about him before he became the man of iron.

After reaching a much more crowded street, she holds out a hand and almost immediately a car stops and she waves all of them inside.

'I am sorry, but seriously?' Elena shakes her head mostly to herself. 'That area is too fishy to go there with a too expensive car. And you probably want to see the city as well, so this is the perfect solution. Plus, we might need to make a hasty retreat.' Elena purses her lips, then instructs the driver. 'Where did you get your translator from, anyway?'

'We met some aliens on the way who sold them to us.'

'Rather expensive I assume.' She smirks. 'You don't have money? At least in this world.' She raises her hands in defense.

'No, unfortunately.' Loki is still disgruntled. He looks out of the window. Maybe meeting his old best friend hadn't been exactly easy for him as well. Maybe her fate reminds him of his own. Thor rests a hand on his shoulder to not overstep a boundary.

'Well, no problem. I will get you what you need.'

Silence falls as each Avenger stares out of the windows or is caught up in his or her own thoughts. Thor enjoys the view but his eyes drift back to Elena every now and then. He can't help himself. This is a miracle. He always believed in destiny, this is just another proof. If they would have been just half an hour earlier or later, if they would have walked down another street, if Odin and Frigga wouldn't have felt the jolt of the Power Stone, if Thanos wouldn't have attacked Midgard,they wouldn't have found her, wouldn't have gotten her back. If Thor can believe her words, she would have went away from Asgard anyway and he would have lost contact with her a long time ago. This might be the only possibility of enjoying her company again.

Thor is honest to himself, he hadn't really loved her like he does love Loki now. He understands that they probably would have parted anyway and that this would have been the inevitable outcome. He had only hoped that they would stay friends, maybe that Elena would stay on Asgard as his second adviser next to Loki.

In the other Asgard, it had been a shock to find her, but now that he knows this is real, Thor can't help but stare. His gaze drifts over to where Loki sits. The ravenette startles and quickly looks out of the window again. The blond frowns. Why had he been watching Thor and pretended to not do it? Thor takes his hand to regain his attention but Loki ignores him vehemently.

The port soon comes into view, it is even more spectacular than the one they parked their ship in. Bigger ships land and take off all the time, the sky is a busy jumble.

They leave the car and paid driver behind and enter a bar near the entrance, it looks rather shabby but is clean. Elena doesn't seem to notice how out of place they look in their what Thor assumes are rather expensive clothes. Many different species of aliens walk past them, many don't look as human as most of Xandar's population seems.

'Hey, Quill!'

Elena had stepped further into the bar and is waving them to follow. Just now Thor notices that he and his friends had lingered in the entrance, ready to make a hasty departure. Though he has to admit this establishment to be no worse than the ones he had visited on Asgard regularly.

She makes her way to the counter where a green skinned woman, a strange man with red markings all over his skin and the person whom she apparently spoke to, sit. The man looks normal for Midgardian standards, is probably around thirty years in their time, has short brown hair and wears a red leather jacket. He seems delighted to meet Elena in such a place. To think that in another world she might have been his queen is presumptuous.

'May I introduce you? Peter, these are some old friends of mine, Thor and Loki. The other five are from Midgard, just like you.' She seems delighted about that fact. 'Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Steven and Tony.' She points at each of them in turn.

Thor almost misses the names of Quill's companions when he hears about the man's origin. How can he be a Midgardian? Apparently Quill feels the same.

'Wait a minute, Midgard?' He frowns and eyes them warily as if they would attack him and his friends every moment now.

Elena seems to be a little confused as well. 'Midgard, Terra whatever.'

'Really?' The information seems to shock him, then a wide grin takes over Quill's face. 'Hi then.' He holds out his hand to his kinsman.

'I thought we were the first.' Of course Tony pushes himself to the front and takes his offer. 'How did you get here? Are there more of us? Oh, that feels so wrong to say.', he adds though he doesn't look uncomfortable saying it nonetheless.

'I was.. I left Earth twenty-six years ago.' His smile falters a little, but still stays firmly in place.

Some memory resurfaces and one look to Loki confirms his suspicions. This must be the child which had been taken almost three decades past. How he survived would be a thing to find out in the future.

'Wow, this is strange, it's been so long since I heard proper English. I'm Peter Quill, also called Starlord.' His companions Gamora and Drax roll their eyes though Thor can't fathom why.

Tony isn't fazed by the name either. 'Tony Stark, Iron Man.' Now it's the Avengers time to roll their eyes.

Quill frowns. 'Stark, as in Stark Industries?'

Tony seems surprised but pleased. 'Exactly. My father founded it, now it's my baby.'

He nods slowly, his eyes wide. 'Shit. What are you doing here?', he asks, crossing his arms and leaning on the counter of the bar.

'We are here on a mission.' Tony seems very comfortable with his current position.

'I didn't know Terra was far enough for space travel.', Gamora interrupts the exchange.

Tony shrugs. 'Well, they aren't. But thanks to our friends, we're still here.' He doesn't say anything further on the topic. He merely continues the introductions. There is another moment of awkwardness when Quill apparently remembers Steve's name as well from his childhood. The rest of the introductions can be exchanged without much fuzz.

'Is that your whole team?', Steve asks after thorough introductions.

Quill nods. 'Except for two, yes. They should be back any minute now. Rocket wanted to buy a few spare parts for the engine. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.' He sounds rather proud of that name.

'Hey! That name's taken, dude.', Barton exclaims immediately, jumping up to the front.

'Clint! That.. I have no idea what that's about. We're the Avengers.', Tony intercepts. 'That other thing was more of a saying.' He glares at Barton for some moments. There are some awkward moments of silence on both sides.

'Did you get everything?', Quill suddenly asks, looking over their shoulders, waving someone in their direction.

'Not really. We will have to stop somewhere else to get the rest.' Thor expects a far taller person than really walks in so he needs a few seconds to adjust his glance. A little furry creature stands behind them and pushes its way through the group, a little plant sitting on its shoulder. The creature places the fellow traveler on the bar, then turns around as if seeing the Avengers for the first time.

'Is that a talking raccoon?', Barton says a moment later into the silence.

The little furry creature turns around and looks if possible undignified. 'What is it with people and this word? What's a raccoon supposed to be anyway?', he exclaims exasperatedly.

The little plant tilts his head. 'I am Groot.'

'How am I supposed to know that? Who are they? There surely isn't enough place to adopt all of them.' His gaze had turned to Quill.

'Rocket.', Gamora scolds him.

'What? He started it.' The furball points at the walking and talking tree which he had placed on the counter. It is so tiny, Thor wonders if it will yet grow or if his species isn't much taller.

'We won't adopt anyone, I got enough to do with just looking after the three of you.', Quill says. 'Anyway, guys, these are friends of Elena and they would like to talk about something.'

Rocket turns to the Avengers. 'How much is in it, huh?'

'Rocket!' Quill seems to lose his patience. Rocket doesn't really look impressed. The man turns back to his fellow Midgardians. 'Well, where was I? Right, that's Rocket and the little one is Groot. They are the rest of our team.'

'Wow.' Usually Loki is a little more articulate so Thor turns to him surprised. The ravenette wears a little astonished smile as he eyes the walking tree. He steps closer to the counter and crouches down a little to be on the eye level of his interest. 'Hello, little one.' Loki seems absolutely delighted by it. Thor doesn't see the appeal in a tiny tree which he doubts can even fight or be of any use except maybe be tiny and unobstrusive enough to sneak into places and steal things.

'I am Groot.' It sounds like a question. The voice is high and childlike.

Thor frowns. The tree had mentioned so before, why would he repeat his name now? Maybe he really is a child and that is what the, as Tony had dubbed it, raccoon meant by adopting others. Maybe he is just a little backward.

Loki chuckles softly. 'I guess you are none of the Ent, are you, my friend?' The answer is exactly as Thor expects it to be.

'I am Groot.'

'Didn't think so.' This happy and carefree Loki hadn't been for a while. The way he speaks reminds Thor of when he spoke to Sleipnir in the dark of the stables.

'So, why is it you were looking for us? Surely not just for a chat.' Quill leans on the counter to address Elena who had mostly kept back and chatted with the female companion of him.

'No, not exactly. We actually want to talk about the incident last year.'

'We?', Loki mutters darkly. His enthusiasm about the tree creature evaporates instantly. Maybe it had reminded him of Sleipnir when he was young, Thor guesses.

She doesn't seem to notice his tone or ignores it. Elena laughs brightly. 'Of course, we. We're in this together now. I happen to be rather attached to this universe and the general way it is.' She winks at Bruce who turns away with a flush, only now noticing how close they had been standing.

Loki, for some reason, isn't happy about this development and scowls a little though Thor doubts the others notice it. He takes Loki's hand but that's neither the right thing to do for Loki instantly crosses his arms and looks expectantly at Quill.

'Okay, shoot.' Quill mimics Loki's pose, trying to look more comfortably than he feels.

Tony had never been a person for diplomacy or to beat around the bush. 'We want to take a look at the Power Stone and quite possibly talk about relocating it.' The brunet man is completely at ease.

The eyes of Quill widen. Gamora's glance goes to Elena as if accusing her of something.

She raises her hands in defense. 'It's cool. They are friends, Gamora. I promise no involvement with Thanos. No more than you had at least.'

Thor wonders not for the first time what her story might be. She appears to be a mighty warrior. Not only because of her dark hair does she remind him of Loki. Her whole demeanor is guarded and distrusting to strangers. Thor can't see any weapon on her but he doesn't delusion himself for one moment that she is unarmed. He more feels the daggers and swords than anything else. He doesn't doubt she enjoyed a rather thorough military education in her childhood.

'What is your business with Thanos?', Drax demands to know. His brute strength stands in stark contrast to Gamora's calculations.

'He attacked our planet and we refuse to accept that. You see, hence Avengers.' Tony shrugs as if it would be the most obvious thing in the universe.

Quill is worried. 'Did he destroy it?'

Steve shakes his head. 'We stopped his army before far more than property damage could happen.' The blond casts a look to Loki. The ravenette sighs, unwilling to retell his part in this scheme. Either way, he straightens his back and looks directly at their new potential allies.

'He sought to use me to regain a stone similar to your Power Stone from Earth, offering the planet as payment.' Loki looks down briefly but the others seem to get the idea.

'Thanos doesn't take no for an answer.', Gamora deduces. 'It was another Infinity Stone, I take it?' Thor's husband doesn't seem the least surprised to discover they might know more about this stone than they all expected. Maybe it was just Thor who expected them to be unknowing.

Loki nods. 'Thanos seeks to gain them all. We seek to oppose him.'

'Alone?', Quill asks, raising his eyebrows in disbelieve.

Loki shrugs. 'If we have to. As long as he doesn't gain the Infinity Stones, he won't attack all of the universe. He knows we hold the Space and the Mind Stone.'

'You have more than one? They are dangerous! We saw what one alone could do.', Rocket is alarmed by these developments.

They all shudder. 'Trust us, we can make a pretty educated guess, I'd say.', Tony says. The pictures of the Citadel are still fresh on all their minds, even after months. Especially now after they met Elena, and found part of what they believed to be completely out of reach in their universe. 'We saw one unleashed and one we were barely able to stop.'

'And what makes you think that it's more safe with you than with us?', Gamora wants to know.

Steve sighs. 'We're not saying that. It's just.. Do you know why we know it's here?'

That seems to take the wind out of their sails. Thor takes the opportunity to let Loki collect himself. 'My people felt a surge of power. Our parents recognized it as a similar energy as the other Infinity Stones have. The whole galaxy knows where the stone is.'

'Thanos would be the only one knowing the signature as well.', she says. 'And he also knows that you have another Infinity Stone.'

'He knows we own two, but he knows hopefully nothing about the third. We didn't choose this.', Tony defends them. 'We're just worried. At least we are several light years away from all known civilized life.'

'Then how did he get to you? I believe the Space Stone didn't send of any waves.' Her tone is accusatory. Thor sees her fingers itch for one of her weapons. Thor unconsciously positions him so he stands between Gamora and Loki.

'It was a, for Thanos, lucky coincidence. During a war on our planet where they used the stone, not knowing what it was, several people got into his clutches. He forced their origin out of them. Later he captured our friend Loki and tried to force him to bring the Tesseract to him. Loki could free himself and we, as a team, drove his forces back. We came here not knowing what we would find, we feared the worst, either a desolate world, void of all life, or Thanos, just waiting for us to arrive. But we had to take the chance. As far as we knew we were the only ones knowing about this threat.', Steve quickly recounts their tale.

The Guardians look from one to the next. 'How are we supposed to know you're not working for him?', Gamora asks rather aggressively.

Thor puffs out his chest as does the rest of their group. 'He attacked my husband, destroyed the realm I swore to protect and threatens billions and trillions of life forms with his mere existence.', Thor says calmly. 'Even if it wouldn't be for my personal involvement, he must be stopped. And we won't let you stand in our way.'

She scrutinizes him for some long moments, then nods as if approving what she sees. 'I have more reason than most to hate Thanos. As do all of our group. We all lost something.', she says.

'Then help us. We need to make sure the Stone is safe here, otherwise help transfer it to a place where it will be.', Tony sums it up.

'You mean, team up?', Quill asks.

'Sure thing.', Tony says with a grin.

None seems too abhorred by the idea. Some looks are exchanged on both sides.

'The Stone is stored in the vault in the department of intergalactic defense.', Quill informs them. 'We can get you there but..' He hesitates.

'But what?', Loki asks.

'We might be no longer criminals but I doubt they will just let us get into the vault, especially since they don't know any of you.'

Elena laughs brightly. 'Let that be my worry.'

xXxXx

'This was your idea all along.', Loki accuses her as soon as the Milano takes off and the engine's noise drowns out the surrounding conversations.

Elena laughs lightly. 'Yes.' She doesn't even deny it. 'I heard out of your little story that you want to take on Thanos and I believe a little help can't be unwanted.' Loki doesn't deny that she is right, not even that the Guardians might be valuable allies. He just would have liked to know before they got into this.

'You could have gotten us to the Stone without their help, right?'

Elena merely grins. 'But I had to see if you get along. A team is just good if they don't hate each other. I was sure Stark would make it all blow up.', she muses.

'How did you know they would help us?', he demands to know. Loki isn't very fond of being part of someone else's schemes.

She motions her head in Gamora's direction. 'She is Thanos' adoptive daughter. It's known all over the galaxy she betrayed him. She would do anything to bring about his fall. Drax has sworn revenge for the death of his family. Quill goes where the wind takes him, usually now that wind is Gamora.' She shrugs as if that's all very uninteresting. 'Rocket and Groot track along but their allegiance is with the group. You needn't worry about them.'

With that the brunette stands up and pats his arm before vanishing to find Bruce. Loki just then notices that Gamora is on her way over to where Elena just sat.

'Hello. I am sorry I was so cold. You never be too careful while dealing with Thanos. His spies are everywhere.', she smiles a little as a peace offering.

She holds out her hand which Loki accepts. 'I understand. I wouldn't have trusted anyone here either if it wouldn't have been for Elena reassuring us that you are trustworthy.'

Gamora looks to where she is talking to Bruce. The flush of the scientist is telling enough without Loki having to hear one word spoken. 'What did he do to you? Your husband mentioned it earlier..'

Loki takes a deep breath, thinks about lying but then he remembers that he has his tormentor's daughter in front of him. 'He took me from my home world.' Loki is surprised by how flat and emotionless his voice sounds as if he is talking about some herbs from Alfheim. 'My family, Thor, they all believed me dead. Thanos tried to force me to return to Midgard, to there find the Tesseract, open a portal to his world and take over Midgard with his army. He would have gotten the Tesseract, I Midgard. I refused his bargain. He.. wasn't pleased.' A frown passes his face.' I managed to tear myself free after he took my immortality and my body from me and replaced me with a double who did his bidding. I didn't get home though but stranded on Midgard. After two years, Thanos launched his attack and Thor came to protect Midgard against him, and against me as he thought back then. I finally managed to defeat my double and take back my rightful place. Together with the Avengers we defeated the army and secured the planet.'

She nods. There is no pity in her eyes, just as he expected, only sympathy. She understands what he went through, he believes. 'I saw my parents die by Thanos' hand. He then trained me to be a killer, a mindless machine. He forced my sister Nebula and me to constantly fight each other. Then I found out about the orb and wanted to sell it so I could start a life apart from them, to run from him. I ran into Peter and the others but the orb got to Ronan.' Gamora stops for a moment. Her voice had been similar to Loki's, as if she would be talking about someone else's ruined life.

Loki nods. 'Yes, I've heard about him and the Kree. You saved a planet.'

'What are you? Your friends are Terrans, but you and Thor.. He looks Terran enough.' She looks over at the tall broad blond. 'Are you a Kree?' He can hear the mistrust in her voice. This is what the questioning has been about.

'But I don't.' Loki chuckles mirthlessly. 'I usually do look more Terran as well. But this world blocks my shape-shifting. I am no Kree though. In our part of the universe we didn't even know about them. I am a Jotun, a Frost Giant.'

She eyes him. 'You don't look very giant to me.'

'I am not. My race usually is twice as tall as I am. I..', he hesitates, 'was born as a small child, was raised on Asgard with Thor together and didn't know about my parentage until quite recently. I still have struggle with this form.', he admits.

'You needn't. No one will judge you because of how you look.' She says it as if that should have been clear. With a smile she rejoins Quill in the cockpit some minutes later. Loki continues staring out of the window, watching the city fly by.

'You are beautiful, my love.' Thor presses a kiss to his temple. He must have listened in on his earlier conversation with Gamora. Loki doesn't say anything but leans back into the embrace, closing his eyes.

xXxXxXx

 **Ents – a walking and talking tree-like creature from Lord of the Rings as seen in movies or read in the books.**


	62. Chapter 59 Assembly Required

Assembly Required

 _I will be stronger than my sadness.  
Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes _

To get into the high security facility is pretty easy, especially with the Guardians as the personal protectors of this world, and Elena who had brought the official downfall of a high-ranking Kree officer. The guards see them from afar and don't even question the presence of the Avengers as the group walks past them without being stopped. Loki feels eyed by them but with Thor's hand on his back he ignores the stares and follows the others.

The Milano had landed right in front of an official looking, big white building. It is on a separated island of the city and contains more than just the defense of the planet. Xandar's military strategics have their seat in the building they enter. Loki is impressed by the architecture, something like this would look completely out of place on Asgard. It's clear lines and white marble, no gold and no flourish. He can't stop staring at the hallways the pass, at the openness of the place, the high ceilings, the brilliant observatories they pass and rooms for defense. It's all in all a perfect place to coordinate any attack or counter one.

At every corner a few soldiers or police men wait, he isn't sure what exactly they are. They all wear a uniform but seem to belong to no species in particular. Some eye them warily, others nod at Quill and his companions. The Guardians apparently haven't exaggerated when claiming they aren't criminals anymore. Some of the guards aren't happy to see them but most of them have probably forgiven the quintet.

One guard even smiles at them. Quill explains that he had helped them safe Xandar by convincing the leaders that they merely sought to help them.

'Wait. Where do you think you're going, Quill?' The question is posed in a very disapproving manner. Loki can see Quill's face twitch but then he turns to the speaker with a wide smile.

'Hey, Tanak.'

'Mr Valt.' Elena gets involved and smiles at the uniformed man. Just now he notices her and stands a little taller immediately.

'Miss Elena.'

She smiles happily at him as if delighted that he remembers her. He blushed lightly and looks younger than before. 'We would love to introduce our friends from far away to Nova-Prime.'

He nods eagerly, then calls for one of his colleagues to get the message to the woman in charge.

'What is it with you and men?', Tony asks her as soon as the guard is distracted.

Elena merely shrugs. 'I am kind of a war hero here. Why should I bother correct them if that would mean we have to go the official way?'

Quill and his group explain their errant once a blonde woman had been introduced to them as Nova-Prime, the supreme authority of Xandar. The Avengers are asked to first examine the room the Power Stone is kept in, then to return in a few days so that they all could talk about Thanos and the threat he poses. Apparently the presence of the Guardians and Elena is enough to vouch for them all though they are mere strangers who demand to be taken into the heart of their defenses. Not that Loki would mind. It's better to use the diplomatic way than break in to see if that is possible.

'You go.', Steve prompts the ravenette. 'You know of Thanos' powers best.' Since no one objects, Loki agrees and follows Nova-Prime.

Loki walks into the vault, feels the metal around him shifting when the security systems take an eye on him. At the end of a long hallway which is armed to his contentment, is the real vault in which the Xandarians keep their dangerous weapons and valuable objects. Nova-Prime draws up the stone, encased in a translucent box, by entering a long code. It is glowing purple, the energies surging from it are disturbing. They are similar to the Aether.

'Of what is feeding?', Loki asks. His voice doesn't echo from the walls and seems quite in comparison to the might of the object before him.

'It has a power of its own. These powers are amplifies when in contact with organic matter.', Nova-Prime explains. She puts the stone back into its safe place and they walk back.

'Is it safe?', Thor asks when Loki steps out of the hallway and the doors close behind him.

'Yes. As long as Xandar stands, the Power Stone is safe. I thank you. We needed to make sure it is.', he directs at Nova-Prime. Loki is almost disappointed. They made this journey, left their families for months and years, as it turns out for nothing. The Stone isn't in danger, isn't in the wrong hands and needs no saving. His friends look more comforted than he feels. It hadn't alone been Loki's idea, actually far from it. Odin had wanted them to go as well to keep their homeworlds safe, the rest of the Avengers had agreed that going after the Stone is better than let Thanos come to them with it in his hands. All the stress had been for naught now.

She inclines her head in acknowledge. 'Maybe you would like to discuss further negotiations between our planets with us now that this matter is settled?'

Tony seems to be the only other of them who feels the loss of purpose, his smile is too bright, his answer too quick. 'Sure thing. With my tech working this flawless our people might be interested in other galaxies and far away stars.'

Loki might not feel the year's loss, his friends just might. Steve smiles bravely through it. Then again, the super soldier serum in his body keeps him young and from aging to a certain degree. Same goes in a slightly different form for Bruce.

Nova-Prime bids them goodbye for now as she has other tasks for the moment but asks them again to return during the next few days.

xXxXx

The Avengers slowly trod out of the ministry of defense of Xandar, all hanging after their own thoughts. Loki seems disappointed that their presence here isn't required, Thor doesn't mind. He got to spend the past months with his husband and his friends, found a lost friend and new comrades, maybe new allies. He got to see a different galaxy, a different society when he just thought there would be no further surprises in his life.

'So, what's up now?', Tony asks eventually, breaking the silence. The Guardians had also noticed the changed mood in the group and had remained quiet until now as well.

'Why don't you come with me to my house? Maybe Quill does actually care about his former homeworld and I am sure that the rest of you would love to discuss tactics of how to take down Thanos either way.', Elena suggests as if she wouldn't have it any other way.

Loki frowns. 'This hasn't got anything to do with you.', he notes rather dryly. Thor has to agree with him, she can just leave, she has no quarrel with Thanos and isn't even dependent on the survival of the universe.

Grinning Elena shakes her head. 'I have nothing here and I would love to see Alfheim again. I have no one here whom I would call a friend. Why not fight alongside you? I have nothing better to do anyway. Life is dull, I can tell you.' She rolls her eyes, then walks towards the Milano with wide steps which brook no dissent.

Quill looks at them, then at his friends. He shrugs, striding after her since no one has a better suggestion. Drax on the opposite seems delighted by the prospect of talking about ways to destroy the Mad Titan. Thor starts to like him. He reminds him of his own younger self. A little bit too hotheaded for his own good and too direct but likable nonetheless. Thor remembers that his motives for hunting down Thanos are similar, if somewhat more severe, to Thor's own.

Thor takes Loki's hand and holds on tight. Somehow he gets the idea that he has to drag him to the ship, Loki seems a little reluctant. The blond wonders why and chooses to question him later about this matter, maybe tonight when the others would go to bed.

The Milano takes them all back to another part of the city which Thor suspects spans the whole planet. They fly over smooth water surfaces and high buildings in equal measures. Xandar is stunningly beautiful, from this perspective effectively distracting Thor from his friends and future allies.

'Hey.'

Thor turns around surprised. He hadn't even noticed Elena stepping closer to him. He looks over her shoulder to find Doctor Banner sit next to Tony and Steve, looking definitely relieved.

'Hi.' More he can't get out for the first few moments. He just stares at her eyes, sees the shimmer on her black hair. Just the green gleam of the forests surrounding the palace is missing, then she would look almost as she had on a cool spring day some centuries ago. Thor mentally shakes the memories and concentrates on the present.

'I guess you found your match.', she says, casually leaning on the wall next to the window Thor had used to satisfy his curiosity.

He clears his throat which for some reason seems to amuse Elena. 'Yes.' His gaze drifts to Loki who is talking to Gamora again. When he had gone from Thor's side, he can't tell. 'I love him very much.'

She giggles a little more. 'I should have guessed so. That's the reason I never tried to persuade him to start something. He was obviously infatuated with you, it was frightening. Oh, he wasn't in love.', she adds quickly when she sees Thor's confused face. 'He didn't know back then. Did he ever tell you what my first words to him were?'

Thor shakes his head.

'"I thought I would be the only one hiding here."' She laughs. 'He didn't understand a word. Didn't know I could see right through that coat he was wearing. He is much prettier like this.'

'You have no idea.', Thor murmurs.

'Turned out quite right for you. And for me maybe too.' Elena laughs and turns around to wave at Bruce who turns away, probably cursing himself for looking in the first place in her direction.

Thor clears his throat. What's just wrong with him? 'I might believe the doctor isn't interested.', he carefully suggests to not enrage her.

'Oh, not yet. I am not someone to give up as you remember. He just has to realize I can offer more than just a nice tumble in the sheets.'

'He is dangerous.', he tries again, ignoring her words.

'I know.', Elena whispers back with a wink. 'I can feel his energy. Nothing I ever encountered before. But nothing I can't handle. He can't sense it yet. Give him some time.'

Thor sighs. He has the feeling he is missing out on something she knows and doesn't bother asking for explanations. 'I hope you know what you're doing, Elena.'

'Could say the same thing about you too. I am not the one who wants to take on one of the most powerful beings of the universe just to defend the honor of my husband though I can see the appeal of it.'

'It's not-'

'Of course.' She holds her hand up to stop him. 'The universe or whatever might be your official reason. The Thor I remember would take the offense of his lover being hurt as far as necessary even if that meant fighting people out of your league. Don't try to pretend that that's changed.'

The blond evades her intense stare which she takes as him giving in.

'Why are you participating then? If this is a suicide mission?', he asks after some moments.

'Though I could find a new home, I am kinda fond of the one I got. My friends are here though I couldn't bring myself to face the shame of seeing them again. How's Thran?' A little smile is tugging at the corners of her lips. It is almost fond.

'He is fine. He is king, has a wife and a son.', Thor says.

'Good.' She nods, now looking out of the window, lost in thoughts. Thor realizes she is happy for her friend. 'I know how I come along. Alright? I don't mean everything I say. I loved you back then, or at least I believe I could have loved you.'

Thor huffs out a laugh. 'You still think me simple.'

Elena shrugs. 'We changed. But yes. I believe we don't have enough in common to work it out.'

'I am glad that Loki chose me. Lucky even.' Thor looks down to her and extends his hand. 'Friends?', he asks, not sure how Elena would react.

A brilliant smile lights up her face. 'Friends.', she agrees wholeheartedly while shaking his hand.

xXxXx

The big house suddenly seems very full now that two superhero teams sit together to fill each other in on their various adventures with Thanos and/or the Infinity Stones. Given, the Avengers have a lot more stories to tell since the green skinned lady who may or may not sleep with Quill refuses to talk about her childhood with that bastard, but it's still a valuable exchange for them all.

Tony questions not that they get the whole story. It just bothers him that apparently none of them had ever fought Thanos and apart from Loki and Gamora not even seen him. No one even knows the whole extent of his powers. There are rumors about him but not concrete knowledge. It's like fighting a ghost. The celebrations for the saviors of Xandar will be in three days, they want to use the time to enjoy their stay. The Avengers are invited to stay with Elena in the meantime if they don't mind the confined space of her house. Bruce seems to be the only one not thrilled by that (apart from Loki that is) so it's quickly decided that she would show them around the next day.

The city really stretches out over the whole surface of the planet apart from the oceans though there the Xandarians had settled as well. On the second day of their stay they explore the under water cities. It's exhilarating to see the water above their heads, the people around them don't even look through the transparent walls that surround the cities and streets, being to used to see so every day. In the evening they are all tired out.

Tony slumbers peacefully (finally the bed isn't moving at light speed anymore) when a loud alarm blares through the streets. The brunette sits up, still drunken on sleep and not fully functional. Steve is already fully awake and stands next to the bed before Tony even rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He stares out of the window.

'What is that?', Tony shouts over the racket. He only doesn't cover his ears because he is used to loud music blasting from his speakers in the workshop.

Steve shrugs, doesn't even bother to answer with words. The first light of the day seeps into the room. Tony scrambles out of the bed, the blond catches him when his foot gets entangled in the sheets. A silent thank you is exchanged, then both look out of the window. The streets are still deserted apart from some lone people who hurry in the direction of their vehicles. Tony can make out the uniform of the guards of Xandar on most of them.

The door flies open with a bang which is almost inaudible over the turmoil outside. Elena comes in with a frown, waving at them to follow. They walk down the corridor, collecting the others of their little group and finally gather in the library which has no windows or outer walls. The alarm is still perceivable but far quieter once the door is closed.

'You need to go. Leave the planet.', Elena states without a preamble. 'The flight ways are cut off but if you can get to your ship fast enough, maybe you can still leave.'

'Why?', Steve asks with a frown.

She sighs. 'Xandar's under attack. And from what the military figures it looks like Thanos' ships.' She nods towards a receiver at the other end of the room.

'What?' Thor jumps up. 'We won't leave.', he declares immediately. Tony would beg to differ but none of the rest looks any less offended by the prospect of leaving the Power Stone and this world to Thanos.

Elena sighs again. 'As you wish. I called in Quill, he will come here since the attack hasn't started yet.' When they just continue to stare at her confused, she elaborates further. 'There is a gigantic spaceship just outside of the atmosphere and a lot of smaller ships which will lead the attack. The alarm tells everyone to either get to safety or go to the battle stations.'

'And will they? Go to their battle stations?', Steve asks.

Elena shrugs. 'Most will try to leave or hide here. The Nova Corps will defend Xandar, maybe Quill and his companions will help as well. The others? If offered a lot of money, maybe. Most are businessman or have a family to defend. They don't have business with the planet.' She excuses herself for a moment to get some help from the Guardians.

'Do we fight?', Bruce asks. His hair is disheveled and for a brief moment Tony wonders where he slept.

'Yes. We will never gain the upper hand if we now let Thanos take an Infinity Stone. He doesn't know we're here. He won't come personally with any luck.', Loki reasons.

'That means we don't have to face his cosmic powers, right?', Clint asks, sitting on the edge of his chair.

Loki nods. 'With these.. I am not sure if he wouldn't just tear Xandar apart.'

'Then why doesn't he just do it?', Tony asks. 'Why is he hiding behind his lackeys?'

'Because a myth can create more fear than a man.' Elena had stepped back into the room, carrying a bottle with the black liquid everyone has gotten used to see her drink once a day. Now she holds one glass in her hand, half filled with the strange drink. 'Why get his hands dirty when someone else can do it for him? It's another display of power. He commands legions and he wants us, or rather the universe, to know. He doesn't has to do it personally to get what he wants.'

'Doesn't sound like a good leader.'

'He is an oppressor, no leader.', she objects, downing the glass without flinching, then licking her lips and pouring herself more. 'It will be difficult enough though as it is. Quill will be here in a few minutes. The Nova Corps are readying themselves.'

'How much time do we have?', Steve asks.

'They would be stupid not to attack with dawn. We still got some time. They are just getting in position.', she sounds calmer than they had seen her in this reality before.

Outside the roaring sound of a landing spaceship is heard. Elena walks into the hallway, then pokes her head out of a window. 'It's them.', she tells the Avengers as she goes outside to greet the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Quill and his friends don't even greet them, just walk in and take their place across from Steve.

'The Ravagers won't help us this time. Yondu is too far away.' Quill starts without so much as a preamble.

'He doesn't want to risk his hide and told you to run as well, didn't he?', Elena asks with a raised eyebrow.

Quill grimaces and shrugs. 'Something like that.', he mutters.

'You'll help, right?', she demands to know, drinking another glass of her liquor. Tony wants to ask her if she thinks it's wise to drink so much before a fight but he actually wouldn't mind a glass of good scotch or whiskey now either.

'Yes.', is Gamora's answer. Her hand rests on her sword. The Guardians seem to think none of her drinking or they are just used to it. 'We will fight. What about you?'

'We most certainly won't stand by if that's what you're insinuating.' Loki's eyes blaze with rage.

'Neither will I for that matter.', Elena says when Loki casts a weird glance in her direction.

'You can't fight.', he says.

She just raises her glass. 'Don't be too sure about that.'

With a frown he drops the theme. 'Do your friends at the government know more?', he asks. Loki had stood up and is now standing behind the sofa Natasha, Tony and Steve occupy.

Quill shakes his head. 'It's Thanos' troops, that's all we know. We've got the Milano. What about you?'

Tony shrugs. 'We can use the two Quinjets. They are armored to a certain extent and have enough weapons to bring down one or two of these ships. If I can calibrate the missiles to these alien ships maybe even a few more.'

Loki immediately offers his hand. Tony nods, then turns to Barton. The sun is rising quickly.

'You fly the other one. Or Natasha can fly, the other of you should try to shoot some of them down.'

Steve gives his consent. 'Bruce and Thor, do what you do best. Tony?' The blond nods once at the Captain's command, his fingers grace Loki's cheek, then he takes off to already find a position to join the fight. Elena pulls Bruce close to kiss him and wishes him good luck. The scientist looks a little dumbfounded when he hurries off to transform.

'Loki brings me up, I bring down the Quinjet and get my armor.' None of that would find its way down here while there is already an attack going on if just navigated by Friday.

'Air support. Loki could maybe use one of the gliders.', he suggests further. Loki nods.

'Can't Clint maneuver this Quinjet alone? Then Tasha can take the other one, Steve can help the people down here on the ground, or go up with her.'

They turn to Barton who nods grimly. 'Get my arrows while you're up there.', he instructs. He has his bow and a small quiver but most of his new and untested arrows still reside on the September. Loki casts wary glances to the sky where the first ships appear, where his husband smashes the first of them to pieces. Impatiently he reaches out his hands to teleport them all up.

'Wait. Elena?' Steve turns to the last of them. Wait, since when is she one of them? The brunette turns from where Bruce had vanished in a small heap of clothes as if only now remembering that she isn't alone.

'I got a ship I can fly.', Elena claims evasively. 'Plus..' Instead of explaining she waves with her left hand, a black tattoo encircles her wrist. 'Good luck.' With that she vanishes in a wisp of black smoke.

'Let's hurry.', Loki likes this less than any of them, maybe because he has seen the ships before or generally because none of them had been expecting an attack like this. The others take his hands as they follow Elena's example.

The ship shakes from the assault, the atmosphere's vibrating and the ship picks up on that. 'Friday, get my suit.', Tony yells to the ceiling to drown out the booming of the air.

Natasha and Steve hurry off to the Quinjet, Loki goes over to the cargo and grabs Barton's arrows, then readies a glider for himself. With a salute he is off before the Quinjet even is in the air. Tony calms his heartbeat as the armor pieces come flying for him, Friday feeds him information immediately.

'Status?'

The HUD isn't even fully loaded when Tony fires up the repulsors some more to get to the battle quicker. Red dots show up all over to mark the enemy ships, Friday also highlights the few ships on their side. According to the Xandarians most of their fleet had been destroyed by that crazed Kree fanatic. Though a lot had been replaced there just aren't enough to take on this force on their own. Tony sees very little of the spaceships and hovercrafts he had seen at the ports and wonders how these people just can sit by quietly and let other fight for their lives.

In the distance he sees Thor smashing some of the bigger ships with his beloved hammer. He looks fierce and already the opposite team seems to pick up on the idea that on their route to Xandar they should give the blond Asgardian a wide berth. The Hulk is also close by. He is after the smaller ships, jumping from one to the next while effectively destroying them to get to the bigger ones shooting at them. The blasts just enrage the two fighters more.

With a smile Tony turns away from them. They can handle themselves.

'Hawkeye?' There is some static over the com but eventually the voice of the archer comes through.

'Tell me you got my arrows, man!' He curses wildly. Tony finally has visual contact. 'Could really need some help here, Stark.' He sounds distressed. The ship he flies makes some wild maneuvers to evade being hit by some blasters. His shielding is quite impressive but not as impenetrable as Thor or Brucie's.

'Sorry, I think Loki's got them.' Tony instructs Friday to find himself some weak points on these ships. He fires some repulsor blasts at them which don't have much of a different effect than draw some of the enemies fire away from Hawkeye. He is far more maneuverable than his teammate.

The Guardians' ship zooms past him to join the Nova Corps. Friday establishes a connection to them as well, hacking into their communication systems.

'Damn it. They are specifically after the ministry of defense. The other side of Xandar isn't even under attack!', Tony says after checking Friday's readings.

'Guys?' Quill sounds confused for a moment. 'They have a clear reading on the ship now. It's one of Thanos'.

'He's after the stone.', Tony grits out. Friday finally figures out that hitting their engine quite effectively blows the ships up. There is a weak spot of the shield under the engine's exhaust. A few shots with his repulsor rays bring down a handful of enemies.

'He just attacks this part of the planet. He doesn't want Xandar.' Quill is disgusted and how could he not? Who would destroy a world just to gain a weapon? Apparently Friday hadn't been missing out.

Tony scowls and feels a sick twist of satisfaction when the next ship blows up. 'Where does this army come from?'

'He has half a galaxy. This is an army consisting of the scum of the whole of it.' Gamora cuts in, her voice cold and hollow. 'No need to feel mercy for the murderers, thieves and terrorists.', she growls.

No need to tell me, Tony thinks, rushing around the place to give Hawkeye some cover and shoot as many of these bastards as possible. The explosion of a missile next to him sends Tony flying into the next building. He shakes his head, swipes the warnings and the information about his injuries from the HUD and takes off again.

'Shit.', he mutters. 'Friday, where are the others?'

'Agent Romanov and Captain Rogers are fighting on the outer rim of the atmosphere, keeping the hostile army from entering Xandar's orbit. Mister Laufeyson has joined the battle at Mister Odinson's side.'

'Sure he did. Connect me.', Tony grumbles. Stupid Asgardians and their brotherly loyalty.

'What is it, Stark?', Loki is all business. He didn't even take three seconds to answer the call. In the background the smashing of metal and the roaring of the Hulk is heard.

'Can't have our three strongest fighters on one side.', Tony grunts out when he nearly gets hit by an aircraft trying to flatten him with its own weight. 'Get here immediately.'

Tony almost reels back when Loki shows up in his suit the brunet had designed. The thrusters are on full capacity to keep the Asgardian up in the air. The glider must have gotten destroyed pretty quickly.

'That actually reminds me.' Loki raises one hand to touch the strap on his shoulder, revealing Hawkeye's quiver. More words aren't needed though for they break apart a moment later to battle the forces still crashing down on them. Loki drops of Barton's weapons, then seems to be everywhere at once. His teleportation is certainly something Tony has to look into somewhen in the future. If there would be time for that, mind you. Some of the enemy ships crash down without any outer force. Friday's scans indicate that the whole crew had indeed died before the crash. Tony can't wrap his head around the reason until he sees a flash of black mist and a glimmering blade in one of the cockpits just before that ship goes down. That flash hits some buttons on the control. When Elena notices him, she salutes with a smile. Tony shakes his head and is glad that she is at least on their side.

Tony wonders for some minutes what the archer thinks he can do with the arrows when the Quinjet gets hit by some missiles. Everything seems to stand still for a moment, even Loki in midair, as they both watch the fire ball swallow the whole jet. Then it spirals down in slow motion, Tony barely notices the blasts around him as he watches and is helpless to do more than watch. The Quinjet hits a building close to them.

'Clint!' The yell reaches them over the com. Seconds later the second Quinjet soars in from the sky and breaks the spell. Natasha's sadness erupts in fury and madness. She comes flying in, yelling wordlessly into the com and shooting at the enemy ships.

Tony realizes that the fight hadn't stopped. With one last glance back he follows Natasha, puts all his energy into the repulsors and fires not quite as mindlessly at the people who had done that, but it's a close call. Loki follows them as well, blasting the ships with his magic, shredding them into pieces.

There had been no scream from Clint's side, no last words, no sound. Somehow that makes Tony even more angry. This is just mindless slaughter for these mercenaries. His fury isn't quelled by the exploding parts and bits of spaceships that drop to the ground.

xXxXxXx

 **Oh my.. First I am late with updating and then such an ending! I am (kinda) sorry for both. I don't really know how that ending happened but.. Well, as for conclusions, I guess we all will have to wait a week. Sigh.**

Reviews are very much appreciated :)


	63. Chapter 60 Travel

Travel

 _It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.  
Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls_

The Avengers fight viciously for their friend as ships rain down on the planet's surface. Loki's heart is heavy but at least the fight offers some distraction. The Nova Corps are up in the atmosphere and fight off the war ship that he catches glimpses of out of the corner of his eyes, a black mass looming just outside of reach. Apparently the Nova Empire thinks them good enough to protect one of the galaxy's most dangerous objects by themselves as just the Guardians and the Avengers stand directly between the advancing foe and the vault holding the Power Stone. Loki flickers in and out of existence and takes more pleasure than he should whenever an enemy falls before him.

The fighting deafens him to everything around him. The world seems to consist of nothing apart from falling ships and parts, sometimes friends and allies but most often enemies. Thanos hadn't send in his best men. Natasha's scream still reverberates in his mind.

Tony manages it finally for Friday to get a grip on the flying fortress above their heads by getting closer to the main ship than any of the Nova Corps dares. Even in this evolved part of the universe Loki hadn't seen something close to Stark's AI technology. There is a loud bang from the war ship when Friday cuts off the engines. That's all it takes for the rest of the forces to dispel almost immediately and hightail off to wherever they hope to evade Thanos' wrath.

Loki and his friends smash the remaining ships when the ravenette notices the suspicious absence of Tony since shortly after the explosions. He can't get any contact over the com neither until Friday leads him to where she had last located Tony. The AI explained that the suit had been overloaded when she had brought the other ship to a halt, that's why it could get away though the Xandarian forces are right behind it, Tony had barely made it to the ground without falling.

The suit touches down on the ground. Tony lies there, clawing at his facial mask to get it off so Loki crouches down and helps him. The power source is damaged, though the arc still glows the mortal can't move under the weight of the armor. Loki thinks he might have destroyed the mask but Tony probably won't care. His suit is looking like scrap metal.

'Thanks.', Tony forces out after gulping down some air. His face is bruised, he has a split eyebrow and looks pretty battered otherwise. He scrambles to get up but is dragged down again. 'I'll just.. stay here for a moment. Catch my breath. Watch some clouds.' He is out of breath.

Loki flops down next to him. His magic is depleted by the fight. Adrenaline still races through his body but his knees threaten to give out at the same time. 'Sounds actually like a good plan for once.' He probably doesn't look any better.

Tony laughs. 'Oh, shut up. We gotta get to the others.', he adds.

Loki nods. 'We need to find Barton. And Romanov. The Hulk looked battered but nothing he wouldn't survive.' He doesn't want to think about Thor for the moment. Last time he had seen him Thor had sustained some major injuries and had been bleeding from several wounds. He has to be alright. There is no other way.

'Fuck. You think he really survived that crash?', Tony asks, fighting himself into a sitting position.

'Only one way to find out.' Loki offers him a hand but Tony shakes his head.

'Get me out of here. The suit is ruined. Just.. Friday is offline and I need my spare suit anyway.' Tony doesn't look happy about any of this. He isn't even donning his trademark smile.

Loki nods, then concentrates and directs the last bits of his magic to get the suit enough power to let it retract itself from Tony before it collapses on the floor. Loki offers his hand again and holds Tony close. Together they take off, Loki's thrusters complain a lot, their power source is almost burned out. Agent Romanov and Captain Rogers had landed near the building Hawkeye had crashed into. Out of the corner of his eye Loki had seen him exit the Quinjet seconds before but in what shape he had been, the ravenette can't tell. There had been too much fire and smoke.

When they land, Bruce is already crouching down over a crippled form on the rooftop of the building. He must have leaped here already in his Hulk form. Natasha looks like she might have cried but keeps herself together now. She stands with her arms crossed, over-looming the figure on the ground. A small tuft of blackened hair, former blond, is the only thing giving away that their friend is somewhere under the damage done to him.

Thor touches down mere seconds after them, for a short moment turning Loki's face to him, his fingers gliding over his cheek to make sure he is okay, then they both turn back to the scene before them. Loki rushes to crouch down next to Bruce. His magic is practically nonexistent but he has to do his best. For Clint. His heart beats a little bit more regularly now that he had seen his husband alive and as well as was to be expected.

'He's alive but only barely.', Bruce mutters, too low for the others to pick up. Tasha watches them closely, watches every single of Clint's labored breaths. There is a nasty gash on her forehead but she isn't noticing it. Tony takes care of Steve's wounds and vice versa. Nothing to be done about them right now though, Loki thinks. Thor checks his wounds for himself but it seems to be rather cosmetic than substantial damage. Loki refocuses on Clint.

'Can you do something? We need to get him to a hospital.', Bruce whispers.

Loki shakes his head. 'It would be too late.' Bruce looks at him in a beseeching way. 'I can try but..' Loki sighs. He places his hand on Clint's breast and directs his own strength to keep his friends alive. 'I can't heal him. Not in his condition.' _Nor in mine_ , Loki thinks. But even with his usual amount of magic he wouldn't be able to heal the damage he feels. Loki curses internally. At this rate Clint would just suffer more. 'He's too close.', he whispers so low that most certainly none of the others can hear him. Loki feels his own life force draining.

Bruce closes his eyes for a brief moment. Despite Loki's caution, Tasha must have picked up something. She sits down on Clint's left side, opposite from Loki, and takes the blond's hand, holding onto it like a lifeline. She closes her eyes and murmurs in what Loki thinks is Russian.

There is a wisp of black smoke in the air, suddenly Elena stands on the rooftop some steps away from the Avengers. 'Wow. That was just.. wow.' Her eyes gleam in the sunlight, her hair stands up in crazy angles. She is again the woman whom she had been on Asgard. Her grin is a little manic but in an adrenaline induced way. 'What?' She notices the somber looks around her, then turns to Clint. 'What's happened?'

Loki shakes his head. It matters little. What could she do? He had seen her fighting with a sword and a blaster but against death, even she is powerless.

Her demeanor can't be called sorrowful or even worried. She seems not the slightest bit uncomfortable next to their dying friend, not like she cares a little bit. There is still a swing in her step, a smile on her face.

She crouches down, trails her hand over his chest and his head. Briefly there is a frown on her face. Elena draws one deep breath. Is Loki just imagining things or does the black tattoo on her left wrist move? His eyebrows rise when he notices the subtle changes in Clint's vitals, then sees that some of the worse wounds close.

'He will live, do not worry.', she says with a smile. 'You can get him to a doctor still or to my house. I fix him later.'

Loki can't wrap his head around her powers. Then it hits him. Her arm had been burned. The skin hadn't been this smooth, the flames had eaten it. Where are the scars, where the wound? Since when does a black tattoo mare her wrist? He had never seen it before, at least not after they had found her again. What kind of magic is this?

Elena doesn't notice his close scrutiny, she hums a melody and the smile is back on her face. She is energized and giddy, but not in the way they had first found her in.

'Clint?', Natasha's voice calls him back to the matter at hand. He hasn't moved but apparently the woman also can see how he looks much better already, how the color returns to his death white skin and how the gash on his cheek and the dark bruise underneath fade a little.

'Oh, he will sleep. Better should. Must have hurt pretty bad but he'll be fine. That suit probably saved his life.', Elena says offhandedly. Tony perks up at that. She doesn't sound worried in the slightest as if she is doing this every day. 'He still needs some treatment but not immediately.'

'Do the doctors here know anything about.. our kind?', Steve asks, pragmatic as ever.

All eyes drift to Elena, who shrugs. 'What does it tell you that the doctors are the reason I know Peter? The Ravagers came to Xandar to make a deal with some guy, he had to stay behind because he was badly hurt. Peter was barely more than a child even in the eyes of his own species. They had patched him up as best as they could but their doctors as well as the one they had brought into their ship of Xandar, hadn't been able to make him well again, knowing next to nothing about his physique. It was an accident I heard about the wounded Terran and since I hadn't seen one for an eternity, voila. That's how we met.', she finishes.

'Can we transport him?', Tasha asks. Bruce leans over the unconscious Clint, checking his pulse, his breathing pattern.

'He is beat up but I think we can risk it. Loki?' He turns his head to the ravenette but he shakes his head. Teleporting in his state wouldn't be the best idea he's had today. It would end surely in a catastrophe.

In the end they take the damaged Quinjet after Tony made sure it's still safe to fly with. Natasha is against getting a doctor for her friend and agrees to their host's offer of healing Clint. The blond is brought into a spare room after they reach Elena's house again. The rest of the team waits in the living room while he and Natasha arrange some blankets and Elena is fetching some ingredients for her potions.

'What is that?', Loki asks when she again shows up with a goblet full of almost black liquid.

'Not what you think. You nearly depleted my stack but this was worth it.' Elena grins without answering the question. 'Want some wine?' She had already changed out of her blood soaked battle clothes.

Loki shakes his head. 'Our friend almost died.'

'And yet he didn't.', she points out, taking a sip. 'A reason to celebrate if you ask me.'

To that Loki knows no further answer. He walks back into the living room, leaving her alone to mix up the healing potions. It includes ingredients he had never even read about so he's no help she's losing. The Avengers are gathered in the living room except for Natasha. She had refused to leave Clint's side long enough to grab some food, never minding making plans with the team. She just wants to go home and bring Clint back to Midgard.

There is a somber silence in the room despite the won battle, maybe because they are worried that Thanos now knows that they are here and they wouldn't have won without the Guardians of the Galaxy or because they are reminded of Midgard's invasion. He stands next to Thor, rests his hand on the blond's hand. Thor doesn't sit, he rather clutches the back of the sofa with his hands. Some minutes pass in silence, all concentrating on their own thoughts. Eventually Elena enters again. Apparently she had done fixing up Hawkeye. She carries a tray with five glasses of red wine, putting each of the Avengers a glass in his hand.

'Drink. It will help with battle weariness.' She smiles pleasantly. 'It's no alcohol, promise.' Loki frowns about the look she tosses in Tony's direction with this notion but he evades her eyes.

Loki sips on his drink. It's sweet and leaves a warm feeling in his stomach. He slowly begins to feel his wounds but the weariness really fades a little after he drinks the rest. Thor beside him is still buzzing with energy, the drink does nothing to change that except that Thor's hand then comes to rest on the small of Loki's back, drawing him closer.

'We need to go as fast as possible. Our ship hasn't been too much damaged, it can be maneuvered despite that. We don't need the cargo hold anyway.', Tony says. He had Friday run a check of it, apparently one blast had hit the ship but it got away better than most.

'How long before it is fully operational?', Bruce asks.

Tony shrugs. 'A few days it might take, with some help from us all maybe we can go in three days.'

'That's just perfect.', Elena exclaims. 'Nova Prime wants to speak to you I assume. Maybe you can carve out a deal.'

'We need to get back home.', Steve insists.

She isn't fazed. 'What about the stone? They won't keep it here. Until now the Nova Empire had no quarrel with Thanos. And he will come back, they know that. They won't keep it here now that they are certain he knows it's here.', Elena reasons.

Tony's eyes widen for a moment, then he gets his features under control. 'What do we care?'

'You told me this is your fight. Nova-Prime is first and foremost responsible for the lives of her people. She won't risk them just because of a weapon. She will get it away, will hide it from Thanos but she won't leave it here.'

'Why exactly is this our problem?'

'The Power Stone will destroy worlds. Thanos will gain it, no matter the price. Or where it is. Getting it as far away from that maniac as possible. It's the only chance there might be for them.'

Tony groans. 'We can't take it.', Steve explains.

Elena shrugs. 'Then don't. But our position would be far better if Thanos wouldn't have the Power Stone.'

'Our position?' Tony motions around the room, including her.

'Why, yes. I thought I told you I'd go back with you. Three days is more than enough time to get my things. I don't really have anything here and you seem fun enough to hang around with.' She smiles as if everything would be settled now.

'But-' Tony for once is dumbfound and can't get out a sentence. 'But-'

She claps her hands in delight. 'Don't worry, I don't need much space. My stuff I don't need. There are just some items I would regret leaving behind. Most isn't mine anyway.'

'But your home is here.' Tony finally finds an end for his sentence. Loki sneaks a glance at Bruce but he makes a point of not looking at anyone.

'Thanos tries to take it from me. He already destroyed my homeworld, killed my people, I have nothing to lose. But I can help you I believe. At least I can try, can't I?' She looks pointedly at the inventor.

Loki can't bring himself to say something. He almost stops breathing though, his heart clenching painfully when Thor interrupts Tony's next concerns.

'I think we should let her come with us. She is a valuable asset. With us gone, Xandar will be no further target of the Mad Titan. If she wants to leave, I do think we should take her with us. She can have my room if Bruce doesn't want to share his yet.', he suggests.

Loki tries to keep his face as passive as possible but there probably is still a flicker of betrayal. Fortunately everyone is watching his husband and the woman who seeks to join the team.

'See?' Elena grins at Thor. 'Then everything is settled, is it not?'

Tony throws his arms up in the air in a do whatever you want motion. 'Fine. Well, I gotta get up to our ship to get a list of things we need to repair. I just hope we have everything.'

'Right, first thing I can be useful with. I can get you enough credit to get us a new ship if necessary though from what you told me, yours is faster than the ships in this part of the galaxy. There are no shortcuts from here to Midgard.'

'Alright. I'll send you a list.' Tony's eyes find Loki but the ravenette shakes his head.

'You need all some rest probably. Just tell me when you want to get going.', Elena says. Loki isn't sure if she saw the look or just knows that he isn't strong enough to teleport yet. 'Finding a functioning ship right now should be next to impossible.'

Tony shrugs. 'Might as well get things done now.'

'Tony, you should rest, sleep.', Steve insists.

'I can't sleep anyway. Then I can as well get some work done. We need to get away from here as soon as possible.', Tony counters, then stands up. 'You ready?'

Elena nods. 'I will check on your friend again, then we can go. You should check out your wounds and tell me if there's anything I can do for you.' With that she almost floats out of the room.

'Since when is she magic again?', Steve asks suddenly. 'And what happened to her hand?'

'I have no idea.', Loki says.

xXxXx

Thor is still vibrating with adrenaline when the night sets. Tony had went away with Elena and a reluctant Bruce. Steve and Natasha sit with Clint who had finally awoken, screaming for he remembered the fall, how he shot an arrow with a string, hoping it would stop his fall, the flames, the crash.

The blond makes his way to Loki and his bedroom in Elena's house. Loki had been very silent the whole evening after the fight. Maybe he got hurt or his mind is just full of images about Thanos again. Whatever the case might be, Thor needs to find him and distract him and make sure he is okay. During the fight they had gotten separated after Tony requested back-up.

The ravenette stands in the bathroom, his hands on the sink, water dripping down from his face. Loki is frozen in place and doesn't even acknowledge Thor when he enters the room.

Thor turns him around. Because of his Jotun form, he doesn't know if it's merely water on his face or tears. His eyes look a little swollen, Thor decides and brushes the liquid from his cheeks. Loki lets himself be led into the bedroom.

'What is it?', Thor whispers, wrapping his arms around Loki. Now the other seems to realize where they are and extracts himself from the embrace. He shrugs and looks out of the window. This night there are no city lights polluting the night sky, the black sky shine above them with thousands of stars. 'Talk to me.'

When Loki makes no inclination of following his plea, he walks after him and embraces him from behind. 'Love.', Thor murmurs into his neck.

Loki seems to hesitate for a moment, then turns around to loop his arms around the blond's neck. 'How are you feeling?', he asks, his thumb caresses the cut on Thor's cheek. Thor knows he has a lot more wounds but he still barely feels them, the battle lust hadn't subsided yet.

'I'm fine. What about you?'

Loki understands the real question behind it. Thor had seen him get hit quite a few times, had seen how they had shot at him, tried to hurt him. He had seen red and wanted to destroy each and every one who threatened his beloved. Loki stands on his tiptoes, his mouth hovering inches away from Thor's. The blond closes the distance without much hesitation, needing to feel his lover close, needing to remind himself that Loki is safe and sound and _safe_ in his arms.

Thor slips his hands to Loki's waist to draw him closer and deepen the kiss. There is urgency in his movements. Loki's tongue moves in a tantalizing way against his own. Thor tightens his grip which elicits a groan of pain from his lover.

'I am sorry, love.', he murmurs against his lips.

Loki shakes his head. 'I was so worried.', he whispers back.

'Me too, dear. I could barely stop thinking about you.' Loki nods, letting his cheek be caressed. Thor again feels the wetness and is now sure it must be tears. Kissing them away, Thor embraces Loki again, carding his hands through the soft black hair.

Loki draws back slightly and Thor believes to have done something wrong for a moment but then Loki kisses him again, more urgent than before and backs him towards the bed. Thor reciprocates eagerly, pulling Loki with him when his knees hit the bed and he falls down into the soft covers.

Thor doesn't try to take back the control over the situation, just lets Loki kiss him, straddling him while running his hands down Thor's body, pausing at every new wound he gained today. Thor feels a little jolt of magic, a little healing magic, marking him as Loki's. It feels right.

Sleek, clever fingers sneak under the hem of Thor's tunic and bring it up a little, caressing the exposed skin. Loki's other hand is buried in the blond strands. Loki sits up a little, Thor follows his lips, follows the hint. He is divested of his tunic before Loki's lips are on him again, crushing against his. The ravenette pushes him to his back. With a smile Thor watches him tracing the lines of his body with red eyes.

Loki's fingers trace the wounds again, most are already healing. There is a strange gleam in his eyes, a small frown on his face.

'It's nothing.', Thor reassures him. Red eyes snap up to Thor's face. He holds onto Loki's slim hips as his lover slinks down his body to mouth at his collar bone. Panting Thor threads his fingers through the black hair, feeling the delicious rub against his nether regions. He pulls Loki back up to slot their mouths together while slipping his hand under Loki's clothes. There is far too much between them still.

Loki helps him get rid of the tunic, sitting upright on Thor's groin.

A big bruise blooms on the left side of his body, almost encompassing the whole stomach from the ribcage to the hip. Thor's fingers skim over the surface.

'It's nothing.', he repeats the words of Thor from moments ago. With a growl Thor turns them so Loki is under him. The ravenette pants as he looks up to Thor with these impossibly big shining ruby eyes. He traces a path down from Loki's cheek to his abdomen, following it with his mouth. The scars of the things Thanos had done to him are still visible but are still in fading. A few years from now, the white lines would be gone. The bruise is dark against the blue skin, almost a purple black. But the most important scar for Thor, the one which will always stick out and won't ever fade from the perfect body beneath him. The scar above Loki's heart, the one Sif's sword had placed there as the ravenette had thrown himself between her blade and a distracted Thor. The blond kisses the scar reverently.

Loki had saved him without ever thinking twice about it. A surge of protectiveness goes through Thor. He should protect his husband like that as well. Shouldn't let him get hurt in a battle. Some cuts are all over his body as well though he doesn't look like Thor. He trails his hand over the wounds which are already closed, over the bruise which would be there in the next morning.

A hand threads through his hair when he reaches the waistband of his pants. Loki pants by now, red big expressionistic eyes are trained on him. Thor presses a kiss to his hipbone.

'Do we have some oil?', Thor murmurs between kisses against the warm, smooth skin of Loki's lower abdomen. He doesn't want to hurt his lover so now would be the last possible time to stop, later Thor wouldn't be able to stop himself. He wouldn't mind pleasuring each other with their mouths but he would prefer to be buried in Loki's tight heat.

Loki nods erratically and point to the bag he had brought with him to Xandar. Thor groans, relieved that at least one of them thought of this. When Thor wants to go get it, the ravenette holds him back and shoves him on his back.

Loki scrambles out of bed and rummages through the bag, searching for the jar. While he stands and takes in the view of Thor spread out on the bed, waiting for him, the broad ribcage raises and falls rapidly, Loki quickly divests himself of the rest of his clothes. Thor's mouth goes dry.

Quickly he shimmies out of his pants when Loki comes back to the bed.

Everything passes in kind of a haze after that. Loki presses the oil into his hands, straddling his hips to give him a good access. Between the messy kisses, Thor opens the jar and covers his fingers to prepare his lover. None of them really has the patience for what is necessary. Loki immediately starts pushing back against his finger and moans into their kiss. Thor continues to stretch Loki. Just when the younger male tenses suddenly, screwing his eyes shut for a moment, Thor knows he finally found his sweet spot. Loki soon enough is a quivering and panting mess over him, barely able to hold himself up and not collapse on Thor. Thor tugs him back to ravish his mouth.

All of a sudden Loki tugs at his hand so Thor slips his fingers out of him with a slight frown that is blown away in the instant that Loki grabs the jar and covers Thor's cock in oil with a few pumps, then sits up only to lower himself onto it. Loki groans in discomfort but doesn't stop until Thor is buried to the hilt. The blond has to hold himself back to not just flip them over and start pounding into the sweet tight heat enveloping him now. Instead, he runs his fingers through Loki's soft hair and over his back to soothe him when he momentarily rests his forehead on Thor's chest to hide his pain. Within moments though he sits up again and moves in tiny circles to adjust to the sudden intrusion. Slowly his face morphs into a mask of pure pleasure.

Loki rides him like his life might depend on it. Thor holds on to his narrow hips, trying to meet every one of his thrusts. The ravenette throws his head back when he wraps a hand around his cock to jerk Loki off in time with his movements. Thor lies back to enjoy the gorgeous view of him working himself up. Far too soon Thor feels his own release approaching because of the heady mix of adrenaline and the stimulation. He pushes up with every downward move of Loki. Apparently Loki notices his predicament because he smirks while panting and tightens his inner walls, sending Thor right over the edge. He comes with a strangled moan but keeps his hips and his hand moving to bring Loki there as well. Feeling Thor's release, it doesn't take much longer for the ravenette to come as well. He rides out his orgasm with his head being thrown back in pleasure, breathing out his lover's name. Gradually Loki slows his pace and almost collapses when he can't hold himself up anymore. Thor gently pulls him down to rest on his chest despite the mess in between them. Loki's cool skin is in odd contrast to Thor's hot and sweaty one. His nerves are still singing from the recent release.

There is a thin layer of ice on the bedding like always when Loki loses the last bit of control over his magic in his Jotun form. Thor smiles at his husband who is still panting heavily. He gently pulls out of him, ignoring the small whimper of protest, and maneuvers Loki to lie next to him, wrapping his arms around the ravenette. Loki mumbles something, already half asleep for once before Thor is.

The blond's smile stretches even more. 'I love you too.', he whispers into the black hair.

xXxXx

The time for departure is sooner there than any of them would have guessed. On the third day after the attack on Xandar the September is ready to leave. Tony had worked night and day to fix the few things that broke during the fight, Elena had paid for everything as she promised. They have gotten a new oxygen tank and new provisions for the journey back.

The team is anxious to return. Since they have the new map they have discovered that Asgard is closer by almost two weeks, the team has decided to go there. The other plus side is that on the way they could stop at the homeworld of Elena. She had asked for this favor, not feeling like going herself but claiming it to be necessary to regain her full powers.

The Avengers had spoken to Nova-Prime. As expected the Nova Empire wants to get rid of the Power Stone as soon as possible to protect their inhabitants. Thanos would take his revenge but with any luck he would leave Xandar and the other planets alone and just hunt down the Infinity Stones before taking care of his enemies.

Loki doubts this, Thanos would surely destroy this planet before proceeding to pursue the Avengers. The Guardians had agreed to follow them to Midgard. Quill wants to see his homeworld again, especially now that Thanos is threatening it again. Thanos is sure to follow them shortly hereafter. With any luck they would be a few weeks earlier than the armada the Mad Titan will send after them.

Loki shudders at the thought. They would have to rely on that. None of them wants to use the Infinity Stones to fight off Thanos.

'Is it wise to draw him back to Earth?', Tony asks quietly, navigating them away from Xandar and readying the warp drive. He and Loki are alone on the commando deck, the others are bringing the ship back in order since the blow that had damaged the cargo hold had brought everything in disorder. Almost all the books fell out of the shelves, most of their personal items are spread all over the place, a lot of furniture would need repairs.

'No. But he would have come anyway. Now we can meet him on our own terms and not on his.'

'At least we got what we came for.' Tony sighs and leans back in his chair, spinning around to face Loki.

'It was a lucky coincidence. Otherwise he now would possess the strength to annihilate our worlds with just a touch.', Loki muses, staring out into the night sky. The last time he will see those from this perspective.

'At least something.', Tony mutters, then hits the last button. The hatches close, shutting them away from the rest of the universe.

xXxXxXx

 **Some quick words on Elena for I am not sure if the opportunity to explain her (rather limited) powers will ever arise. This is no real spoiler but I can tell you, her role in the Thanos war will be very limited (to almost nonexistent). She is just an addition because I couldn't get her out of my head :P**

 **So.. She is good at healing (we already figured that out) and can teleport, but otherwise in magic matters she is inferior to Loki since she can rather control the life force of individuals (who are not more adept to magic than Midgardians) and use these energies to influence the outside world than create these energies by herself. Er, yeah, I hope that makes sense.**


	64. Chapter 61 Jealousy

Jealousy

 _A room without books is like a body without a soul.  
Marcus Tullius Cicero _

The team is in a constant state of tension from the very first day of the journey. Everyone knows what would wait for them at the end of it and this knowledge, that they can do absolutely nothing to change that, can do nothing to prepare but wait for the ship to bring them back to Midgard, this knowledge is making them tremble in anticipation, is taking the last bit of calmness from them all. Thanos might have already send his armada after them to destroy Midgard in revenge for the Avengers thwarting his plans at seizing the Power Stone, destroying his chances at gaining an Infinity Stone yet again.

The first week goes by similar to how the last weeks had been on their journey to Xandar. Everyone is waiting for something to happen, anything at all. Boredom and anticipation take turns at paralyzing the crew.

Loki, as per usual these days, sits in their shared quarters and pretends to read as soon as Thor enters. Thor can tell he just pretends because he had opened the door a good one or two minutes ago, watching the ravenette stare at the forest scene projected to the hatches covering the windows. The book lay forgotten in his lap. Just when Thor had closed the door, making his presence known, had Loki picked it up again and didn't even turn around to greet his husband.

Ever since they had started their return trip, Loki had been even more withdrawn than usual. He reads a lot but keeps away from everyone but Thor though the blond has the feeling he is merely tolerated in the vicinity of his husband. He had wanted to give Loki some space, thinking that it might be all Loki craves, having to face months in the confinement of the September again.

Thor had had a problem as well with the sudden resurrection of his ex lover but since then he had done everything in his powers to reassure Loki that Elena means nothing to him. He had left his room for her because he wants to stay close to his husband and show him and everyone else that they belong together. At every meal he pays attention to not sit next to Elena and lavish Loki with attention. Apparently that isn't enough though because more often than not he catches Loki glowering at her when Elena is not looking his way.

Never one to beat around the bush, Thor its down next to Loki and plucks the book from his hand so the ravenette would look up and not ignore him further. Loki turns to him in resignation.

'Why do you hate her so much?', Thor demands to know. It had taken him a while to recognize Loki's polite behavior for what it is, a mask for his contempt. He treats her with the same coolness he showed his enemies at court. Loki doesn't make a move to answer the question and just stares at the blond. 'Love..'

Something seems to snap. 'Why do you insist on a good relationship with her? She is a stranger!', he hisses. His whole face is contorted with fury and a rage Thor didn't know is in him, telling him Loki carried it with him for some time now.

Thor shakes his head, not understanding where this suddenly comes from. He had realized Loki doesn't like her but that his disdain goes this far is new to Thor. 'Are you jealous?'

'Do I have a reason to be? Do you prefer her?' Loki's yells are surely loud enough to be heard on the other side of the hallway. He springs up from the sofa to start pacing the room.

'Of course not.' He is taken aback. There was never any reason for Loki to be jealous and Thor had never fancied that Loki could really feel just that way. It is ridiculous after all.

Loki stops pacing and looks him straight in the eye. 'Then why did you kiss her?' Loki says it quietly though he could have yelled for all the difference it makes. He can tell that Loki had thought this sentence a lot of times. The words cut right through the blond.

Thor forgets how to breathe for a moment, just staring at the impossibly green eyes which are full of sadness and justified anger. How does he know? It doesn't really matter.

'Since when do you know?' Thor is surprised by how steady his own voice is.

'I saw you.' Loki sounds bitter and resentful. Still he keeps his gaze on Thor, daring him to lie.

This can't be happening. 'I wanted to tell you.', Thor says calmly, trying to get closer to his husband now that the shouting had stopped. Loki has to let him explain. Maybe he can make his husband see reason though he knows that everything that follows is more than well deserved punishment for betraying Loki's trust.

Loki huffs. 'Sure. Before or after you fucked her?' The words cut deep.

'She is with Bruce, you know that.' Thor realizes his error immediately when Loki backs away to the far end of the room. His eyes shut him out, they betray none of Loki's emotions which tells Thor all he needs to know. 'That's not what I meant and you know it.'

'So you want her.' Loki sounds furious but his face is strangely impassive.

Thor sighs, running a hand through his hair. 'Don't twist my words. I only want you.', he tries again.

'Because you couldn't have her. Still can't. She thinks you a simpleton.' The words lose their sting when Thor can see some tears pooling in Loki's eyes. 'You never wanted me, not like you wanted her.'

Thor takes a step towards him. 'Loki..', he breathes as the other words fail him.

Loki's chest is heaving though his voice doesn't betray that fact. 'Why didn't you tell me? You still have feelings for her.'

'I don't.', Thor simply states, begging Loki with his eyes to understand.

'Then why did you kiss her?!', Loki yells. He transforms his sadness into anger. He shakes, Thor can feel some magic crackling in the air.

'I don't know. I didn't mean to.', he replies honestly. Lying would only rile Loki up further.

Loki huffs out a laugh. 'Oh, please. I saw you, Thor. You kissed her very deliberately. The only thing keeping you now back is green and probably the only one to match your brute strength.', he snarls.

Loki turns away again, running a hand through his hair as if having to hold back.

'Loki. I love you and only you.' The words sound hollow though Thor attempts to pour his heart into them.

'You gave her your room without thinking twice. You didn't want her to be together with Bruce.' Loki talks himself into a fury and Thor knows he deserves that.

'That's not true. Listen to me, please.', he can't help but beg.

'So you what? Can tell me more lies? No, thank you.' With that Loki turns around and heads for the door.

'Loki, where are you going?', Thor asks. He can't let it end like this.

'None of your business.', he hisses. The door closes without a sound behind him. Thor collapses on the sofa which creaks worryingly under his weight. It's no use running after him now. All that would earn Thor are more accusations and possibly a magic blast that would leave the ravenette feeling guilty.

Thor buries his face in his hands. He had known from the beginning, Thor thinks. Loki had waited for him to confess his indiscretion. All his life people had lied to the ravenette, had deceived him. Thor had wanted to be the exception and had now hurt him more than probably all before.

He would have to make Loki listen, beg his forgiveness and show him somehow that Elena means absolutely nothing to him. Thor sighs. That would be more difficult than anything Thor had ever tried before. Maybe he had already blown his chance with the best thing that's ever happened to him. For kissing Elena, he might deserve Loki hating him. But Thor wants him to understand that he only loves Loki. And if the ravenette should after that still wish to go separate ways, Thor would accept the punishment but never stop trying to get him back.

xXxXx

Loki rushes out of the room before his tears can spill over. His heart feels like it's torn to pieces. He curses himself for saying all these things to Thor. He had tried to get over it, had tried to ignore Elena and Thor's relationship, their interactions, the way Thor's behavior changed like he wants to make a show out of Loki or trying to make Elena jealous.

Loki had tried to ignore all of it. Months ago he had decided to forgive Thor his indiscretion, his betrayal, and never ever let him know that he knows. But in the last few weeks something had cracked. Thor would surely leave him now, if not for Elena, then because of Loki's recent behavior.

He strides to the elevator and takes it up to the library to seek some solitude.

He is still angry, partly with himself, partly with Thor for bringing him into such a situation. Couldn't the blond have been more careful with his indiscretion? Loki retreats into the farthest corner of the library, moping about his own misery. He curls up in a chair and contemplates what to do next. Loki can't find it in him to go back to Thor and apologize. A part of him still thinks it was justified to accuse Thor of cheating on him. It isn't fair to lie about loving Loki while he probably dreams about the brunette just across the hallway. Opening Thor's eyes to how much he hurts both of them by still pretending to want to be with Loki might speed things up between them because if Thor wants to leave him, he will do so now to woo Elena.

The other part of himself blames himself for ever letting the words pass his lips. He swore to himself to never bring up the dreaded theme at all, to forget what he had seen because it only confirmed what he knew all along. Thor deserves better.

Loki doesn't know how much time past when he hears soft footsteps between the rows of bookshelves.

Of all the people who could walk in on him searching for some solitude after the fight with Thor, Elena of course had to find him hiding in the back of the library.

'Hey, pal.', she says with a big smile. Elena had taken up on Tony's speech patterns since he had been the one who talked the most with her. 'What are you doing?' She takes a look around but can't find anything Loki busies himself with so she sits down with a smile across from him. Loki curses himself silently for not having pulled out a random book and pretend to be busy. Loki uncurls and sits more moderately.

Fortunately he doesn't cry anymore and hopes he doesn't look like it. He still averts his gaze just to be sure.

'So, what are you planning today?', Elena asks, leaning back in her chair. She doesn't seem in any hurry to leave him alone again.

'Nothing. What could I do? Can't go anywhere exactly, can I?', Loki almost snaps.

She laughs good-natured and ignores his tone of voice completely. 'I am just bored. Bruce is busy in the laboratory and wants to be alone for a while.', Elena says with a smile.

'Then why don't you leave the poor man alone? Can't you see he doesn't want you around?', Loki mutters darkly. Bruce had evaded her as good as he can but she just keeps on sitting far too close and not leaving him alone for a moment. It's a miracle that the Hulk hadn't torn the ship apart yet.

That startles another laugh out of her. 'Oh, he wants me around. He just doesn't know it yet.' Elena doesn't sound worried at all.

Loki huffs. 'You really can't accept a no, can you?'

She throws her head back laughing. 'I can, but not from him. You don't get it yet, I think. I don't think him just attractive or appealing.', she explains. 'I wouldn't have slept with him then. He wouldn't have slept with me. He has principles, as you know better than I. He wouldn't just go to bed with a woman he doesn't know just because she kisses him. But he felt what I felt. After that first night though, his, admittedly, impressive intellect got in the way and now Bruce is fighting what he feels for me.'

It doesn't convince Loki one bit. There had been a time he thought similar about Thor. 'And what does he feel?' Recent events had proven him wrong.

She smiles as if it would be the most obvious thing in the universe. 'That we belong together. My kin can feel when they meet the right partner. I knew instantly it was him. And I won't let the chance of a mate slip from me just because he believes to know what's best for me. He felt it though he might deny it. Bruce is a scientist, he doesn't even really believe in magic though he has proof of it right in front of his eyes.' She shrugs. 'He only needs a while to get used to the thought.'

Loki frowns. 'You sure he knows?' When had he become such an adversary of love? When had he begun to think so again?

'Yes, didn't you know?', she asks. A small crease is on her brow.

'What do you mean?'

'When you first kissed Thor, didn't you know? Didn't you feel it? The way he looks at you, Thor surely knows. That's what I always dreamed of.' Elena sighs. 'Someone looking at me like that. There was a time when I would have settled for less than kinship of the soul. I guess all of us doubt sometimes that there is someone out there for us.', she muses.

Loki huffs in annoyance. What does she know? Life is still no piece of cake, especially if the person whom you are supposed to be bonded to would like nothing better than be bonded to someone else.

They sit in silence for a while in which Loki has to keep himself from outright glaring at Elena. Suddenly she turns to him again and shifting in her seat as if to go.

'Just think about it.' Elena winks. 'You needn't worry for your husband. He knows what he feels. So the fight can't have been so bad.'

Loki frowns. 'What?' He has the feeling she knows what the fight had been about and wants to give him some advise. He curses her silently.

She shrugs as if it would be trivial. How did she even know about the argument in the first place? 'Maybe he would have settled for less in the past. But he is no longer the brash fool I knew.'

'He..' He doesn't know how to finish the sentence.

'What has he done?', Elena asks though she doesn't give him time to answer. 'Does it matter? You don't have to tell me. Just think about it. Is that worth losing your husband? You think there is something between us and I am sure you have your reasons.', she says without accusation in her voice. So she did notice the glares.

Loki swallows. 'You were married. In the other world.', he hears himself say.

Elena smiles knowing. 'But we aren't here. I maybe would have settled for him, I am not saying I wouldn't have.', she says quickly. 'But we weren't meant for each other. And I don't think it was different there. And I think you know that.'

'He..' Loki takes a deep breath but can't ring himself to finish the sentence.

Elena shrugs. 'He always wanted a simple life, with no drama, with no one questioning his decisions. I am not defending him, that is your task.' She raises her hands when she rises from her seat. 'But this, fighting a war he doesn't know how to win, must be harder for him than any other battle he has fought before. Except with you, that might be. Just remember that there are always two sides to a story.'

She leaves him to his own devises. Does she know? Damn it, does everyone know? Loki draws his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them.

The next few days he evades everyone, knowing they talk about him and Thor and he is not yet willing to face it. Tony had sworn to him at the beginning of their journey that he wouldn't tolerate Loki bunking over at him but special circumstances and the fact that he usually stays over at Steve's, make Loki think that he can at least hide away there when Thor again searches the ship for him. Fortunately for her Elena had left him alone as well with her stupid advises. What does she know about loving someone who wants to be with someone else?

Even if Loki would forget about the incident in the Citadel, accepting that his husband could prefer someone else is too much just yet. And Elena herself had pointed out one thing that hadn't crossed his mind before. They are alike. Actually, with Elena gone, Loki might have been the closest substitute. Thor might be right, he fell in love with Loki and wants him as his husband. But he only did so because Loki reminded him of what he could have had. Maybe Thor would stay with him, would even prefer him. But Loki would always feel like second choice. He would know and that is enough to ruin any good time he could have with his husband.

It's well past midnight Midgardian time when he sneaks into the kitchen to get some food though he isn't hungry. Loki hopes the others are in bed already but doesn't reach out with his magic. He doesn't want to encounter Elena or Thor's energies. Tony had managed to let the light resemble the alternation of night and day on Midgard so the hallways are dimmed. Loki feels like a ghost sneaking through a house it doesn't belong to.

There are two plates on the counter, Loki notices with a frown. Tony is busy again inventing all night. Both plates have a small card next to them, one with Loki, one with Tony's name on it. Loki contemplates for a moment if he should carry the food to his friend. Probably the mortal engineer is plagued by nightmares again which even his super soldier can't fight of. He would want to be alone just like Loki wants to. So he takes up his plate and leaves after forcing himself to eat some of the food Steve had let out for him, withdrawing to the library. Tony would not be upstairs, he usually seeks solitude in his personal quarters. That means another long night alone in the library.

'You're evading me.'

Loki freezes in the pitch-black room. The dark voice of Thor has a little echo in the room. Loki brings the light on with a flick of his wrist. Thor sits in Loki's usual armchair, his face is a dark masque of fury. Loki has to suppress the urge to run. He doesn't want to face his lover, not yet anyway. What if Thor came to the same conclusions that Loki had come to within the last few days?

With a sigh Thor's facial features relax. 'Don't deny it, my love. I know it is my fault and I wish I could change what I did. I can't however and I don't expect you to forgive me. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. But I want you to do so because of the right reasons.', Thor continues while standing up. 'Please listen to me.' He sounds honest enough.

Loki eyes him but Thor keeps his distance. 'There is nothing to talk about. I don't want to hear it.', he

'Loki.', Thor begs, his eyes full of grief and pleading.

Loki glares at him. 'No. Just go.', he insists.

'Don't be so stubborn.' Thor starts to lose his patience. 'You knew all this time and still you stayed. Because you wanted to.', he accuses. There had been plenty of time for the ravenette to leave after all.

Loki huffs and crosses his arms. 'Sure, tell yourself so.', he snarls.

Thor's scowl deepens. 'Tell me. You want to stay with me.' He takes a step towards Loki.

'Get lost.', Loki growls.

'What else reason would you have had? Say it.', Thor prompts.

'You like her, just admit it.' Loki starts his counter attack.

'I don't. And you know that.' Thor frowns. Anger flashes in his eyes. 'Say it.', he forces out again.

Loki scowls but keeps his mouth shut. Thor comes closer, backs him to a wall. His arms come up, effectively trapping the ravenette.

'Say it.', he demands. 'You still want me. Say it!' The blond is furious and corners his husband.

'Yes!', Loki yells back moments before Thor meshes their mouths together. Loki kisses him back just as furiously. Thor's grip on his hair is too tight, he claws at the blond's back. Thor bites his lip and slips his tongue into Loki's mouth when the ravenette gasps. He finds himself pressed between the wall and Thor.

'Say it.', Thor pants against his lips when his mouth descends on Loki's neck, the stubble scratching in the best way.

'I still want you.' Loki closes his eyes when he forces the words out, feeling their sincerity. With a growl Thor's mouth is on his again, Loki wraps one of his legs around Thor's hips to draw him closer. He clings to the blond's shoulders and moans into the kiss.

'I love you.', Thor growls, he bites Loki's bottom lip, then soothes the bite with his tongue.

'You still think of Elena.', he breathlessly answers. Loki moans into the following kiss. It's bruising, both of them pouring all of their emotions, their frustration, their anger, their despair, into the kiss. Everything is too much and not enough at the same time. Thor presses closer, not wanting any space in between them.

'I don't.' His eyes are so close, Loki can see nothing but them. He is angry. It makes Loki furious.

'Yes, you..' Loki is cut off by Thor who doesn't want to hear anything further. The blond cups his bottom and lifts him up, pressing them together from chest to hip. Loki wraps his other leg also around Thor. Why should they talk anyway? Talking wouldn't change anything at all. Wouldn't change where they stand. Loki thinks they both know this. He just hopes this isn't the last time Thor would come to him for this, for something. The thought though sparks something inside of him. He channels his sadness into anger and pours it all into the kiss.

No one suggests going into their room, where none of the others could walk in on them. If this is all Loki is ever going to get, he would take what he could. It's not the first time they had yelled at each other and had ended the fight with having angry sex in some corner of the palace.

Thor's hands wander under his tunic when he is certain that Loki can keep himself up. The ravenette holds on a little too tight to Thor's long golden hair. The sound of tearing fabric is satisfying. Loki thinks he never heard something more beautiful. Then Thor's big calloused hands are on him, burning their path from his back to his hips. Loki shakes the rest of his tunic off. Thor's eyes grow darker when he leans back to take a close look at Loki's exposed upper body. He runs his hand down Loki's neck, skimming his nipples, coming to rest on the lower back.

'How could I ever want something apart from this?', Thor breathes out. The ravenette doesn't answer and only claws at Thor's tunic. He fortunately takes the hint. Loki doesn't take his time to appreciate the beauty uncovered but pulls Thor in for another deep kiss. He runs his hands down Thor's torso though, taking in everything he can.

His pants follow his tunic seconds later while Thor busies himself with sucking hickies into Loki's heated skin. Thor drops his own pants moments later, to finally press his body without barriers to Loki's. Loki feels his arousal pressing between his legs, his own cock is trapped between them.

Thor pants into the crook of his neck. 'Get yourself prepared.', he demands, his hands digging into the flesh of Loki's bottom. His beard scratches his neck as Thor trails kisses down his neck and shoulders.

Loki moans helplessly, barely able to get out the spell to lubricate himself. Thor immediately pushes in, knocking the breath out of them. His patience had finally snapped.

It still hurts but Loki delights in that fact. He throws his head back for a moment, letting his mouth open to let out a moan, allowing his eyes to drift shut. Thor gives him no time to adjust to the stretch, pounding from the very beginning into him. The wall scratches Loki's back but he doesn't care. He holds on to Thor's shoulders, digging his nails into the bronze skin. The intimacy of the position angers Loki further.

Thor doesn't look much happier, they glare at each other while rutting against each other. Thor braces himself against the wall, the other hand digs in Loki's bottom. He snaps his hips, burying himself deep inside of his lover. It's almost vicious.

'I love you.', Thor repeats breathless. His breath fawns across Loki's face. Why hadn't he insisted on a position that would have allowed Loki to not look in his face?

'I am like her. You see Elena when you look at me.', Loki forces out, glaring at his husband despite the pleasure that courses through him. Thor's eyes bore into his. He huffs out a laugh.

'You always claim to be smarter than me and still don't understand the most simple things.', he claims. 'You are not like her,', he punctuates every word with a deep thrust, 'she was like you.' Thor pants, Loki nearly loses his mind. 'I couldn't have you so I took her.' His eyes glow with an intensity.

Loki doesn't want to budge. Thor is close he can tell as well. 'Then why did you kiss her?', he demands to know. It's easier to remain angry than face the truth in that statement. Tears pool in his eyes but he suppresses them.

'Because she was what I wanted for you. To be happy, for us to be happy, to found a family.' Thor reaches down to Loki's neglected cock, beginning to stroke it. 'I hadn't seen you that happy since our honeymoon.', Thor continues to tell him. 'I wanted you to look that way again. I wanted you to be that happy again, for life to be as simple as hers seemed to be.' With a few more strokes, Loki comes hard,

Loki stares up at him, panting. His eyes and lungs burn. He thinks he never came while crying before.

Thor leans down, resting his forehead against Loki's, cupping his cheek with one hand. 'I love you, I always just loved you. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you.' He is still hard, still buried in Loki but he looks calmer than ever.

Loki raises his hand to comb the blond strands from Thor's face.

A small smile crosses Thor's features. 'May I?'

Loki hesitates for a moment, then nods. Thor leans in, hiding the victorious smile in the crook of Loki's neck. He leans up to capture Loki's lips for a kiss, soft and gentle.

The blond moves his hips, rocking up into Loki, now keeping him up with his arms. Thor's keeps on murmuring his undying love into Loki's neck, locking eyes with him, kissing him passionately. Loki starts to get sore and overstimulated. Small whimpers leave him which Thor soothes with gentle touches and encouraging words.

Why would Thor say that? Except if he meant it - ? Loki can't breathe anymore. There isn't enough oxygen in his system to fully process what is going on.

'I love you, Loki. Just you. Don't ever doubt that, my love. It's you I want. Always wanted.'

'I love you too.', Loki chokes out when Thor repeatedly hits his abused sweet spot. Thor beams at him, the blond strands cling to his sweaty forehead, eyes impossibly wide. His eyes shine with hope and love.

With three more thrusts Thor comes deep inside of his husband, crying out Loki's name. They stay locked while Thor comes down from his high. The blond rests their foreheads together.

'Are you very uncomfortable?', he asks in a low breathy voice. He doesn't want to part with Loki just yet, not if it's not absolutely necessary. Loki hadn't felt this whole in a while so he shakes his head, keeping his hands locked behind Thor's neck, occasionally running his fingers through the sweaty hair.

'I love you.', Thor declares again, looking deep into his eyes. 'Do you finally believe me? I only want you, my dear.', he pleads.

Loki is torn. 'I love you.', he repeats, having to tell Thor and himself. 'It's just..'

'I know. These past years have been hard for both of us, for you more than for me. I am sorry for it partly being my fault.'

'It's not.', Loki hears himself whisper.

They remain quiet for some moments, just closing their eyes and enjoying the moment. 'How could you think I would like her? Prefer her to you?', Thor asks softly but in a tone that leaves no room for arguments about him finding the very idea ridiculous.

When Loki merely offers a shrug as response, Thor continues. 'There had been a time when I had thought that maybe she would be enough. That her resemblance to you could be enough for me to finally forget about my infatuation with you. If I would have been a little more disheartened or not brave enough to risk being with you, I might have married her, if just in hopes of forgetting about you. But it wouldn't have changed a damn thing.'

A smile curls Loki's lips as he looks down to where they are still joined. 'You know she said something like that as well.'

Thor frowns, irritated by the fact that his husband had talked to the very woman he was jealous of and not to Thor, but he says nothing about the matter. 'What did she say?', he merely asks.

Loki repeats what Elena had said about finding the right person.

Thor nods in thought. When he moves, Loki grimaces at the uncomfortable shift inside him. 'I am sorry, love.' Thor kisses his forehead, then slowly, to inflict not further pain, lifts Loki up and draws out. Loki feels wobbly on his legs as they almost give out but Thor keeps him upright. 'Will you rejoin me in your quarters? They are yours anyway. If one should leave, it's me.'

Loki shakes his head. 'Don't go.'

Thor carries him downstairs after they collected the remnants of their clothes and Thor had given his tunic to the ravenette so he could cover himself with something.

xXxXxXx

 **So, er, another! That kind of just happened, you know, even though you don't believe it. Yeah, on with the story, I guess. Next chapter will feature more making up and more 'why Loki needn't worry'.**

 **Last but most certainly not least, if you liked it, maybe leave a review? :) And a shout of to the latest reviewer, ArkhamAnnie! Thank you so much. Hearts and cookies to you. You reminded me why I fell in love with Thunderfrost in the first place :3**


	65. Chapter 62 Journey Into Mystery

Journey Into Mystery

 _Everything fades in the world, but Death endures.  
Cixin Liu, Death's End_

Soft light seeps into the room, waking Loki up. The ravenette blinks a few times until he has a firmer grasp on reality and recognizes his surroundings. The quarters of the September still don't feel like home nor like he wants to stay here any longer than necessary. The more time this mission takes, the surer he is that it had been pointless despite the world they had saved and the Infinity Stone they had secured. Loki flexes his muscles a little. Suddenly he notices the warm shape curled around him, the arms that are wrapped around his midsection.

'If you think about running,', a dark, raspy voice whispers into his hair, 'you will have to force me to let go.'

Loki doesn't even try to deny his intention. It's just easier than to face the harsh reality sometimes. Especially when that reality encompasses a husband who attempts to reassure him about not loving a woman he had been in love years ago. Thor had tried to convince him that he loves only Loki but that doesn't seem to be enough.

'Why do you insist on there being a wedge between us, love?', Thor asks, pulling Loki closer to his chest. 'When are you finally going to listen to me?', he continues with a sigh as if he accepted that this would never happen. The warm air fans over Loki's neck.

Loki closes his eyes and just lets the past evening wash over him again. It hadn't just been a coupling fueled by rage, Thor had tried to make him listen in the only way he knows how. A kiss on his shoulder brings Loki back to the present.

'I don't know.', Loki whispers, sinking deeper into the embrace.

There is a smile on his shoulder now. 'I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy last night.' Another kiss. 'But I would have preferred it if we spoke about this matter more reasonable and it would have been us making up later.'

'So would I.', Loki admits, a smile tugging at his mouth as well.

Thor's chest vibrates with his laugh. 'But?'

Loki shrugs. 'But nothing. I love you. That much wasn't an exaggeration.', he sighs.

'I didn't exaggerate either. I just want you, never someone else.', Thor murmurs. 'Can't you simply accept that?', he asks as if he already knows the answer.

Loki's mouth twitches. He shakes his head. He wishes he could but he doesn't fool himself. This whole journey is just another proof, something Thor would have never had to do without Loki.

Thor chuckles. 'Well, I wouldn't have you any other way.' His arms are withdrawn, Loki turns around at his bidding. Thor looks amused rather than mad at his statement. He caresses Loki's cheek, then loops his arm around him again. 'Then I just have to spend the rest of our lives convincing you.' Thor doesn't seem bothered by this prospect. More like he is facing a difficult challenge he looks forward to solving.

'Why are you keeping up with me?', Loki asks, a little frown on his face, wondering how Thor cannot see all that is right in front of his eyes.

'Because I love you.', Thor simply states with a smile. His fingers card through Loki's hair. Loki leans up to kiss his husband. It's insane that he still wants Loki around, even without Elena. Maybe though it is useless to fight the affection Thor clearly holds for him. 'There is nothing you can do to change that, love. Nothing to convince me to change my mind about wanting to be with you.', Thor continues as if reading his mind.

He is far less sure than Thor is. 'It will change.'

'I won't let it.', he says. 'So you can stop talking me out of this. We love each other. That's all I need.' Thor kisses him once then sighs with a smile. There is too much understanding in his eyes, Loki looks away. Not everything is fine, they both know so. Loki can't really believe in any of this good that happened to him in these past years. If it's not the brunette next door, it will be Sif or Lorelei or any of the other, far better suited partners who will catch Thor's eye.

'Let's get up and eat something. I'm starving.' Thor grins widely, running his hand down Loki's waist. Loki shoves him playfully, then gets up from the bed to get dressed. Some breakfast sounds nice by now. His stomach grumbles angrily about the lack of food by now, he hadn't eaten much since his fight with Thor.

The kitchen is full at this time of day. Tony looks like he again hadn't slept a single second, Steve tries to get everyone to eat something, Barton looks annoyed, Natasha distracted, Bruce ready to leave this place as quickly as humanly possible, Elena sits very close to him and isn't the least bit irritated but Bruce's reaction. Loki can't stop the smile fighting its way to his face. Thor grins and puts an arm around his shoulders. A fairly normal morning for his little extended family. Thor might be right after all and this is how it is supposed to be.

'Good morning.', the blond booms. The whole room turns to them. A knowing smile spreads on Tony's face as he turns around to refill his cup of coffee before Steve can stop him. A round of murmured greets is thrown back at them.

'What can I get you?', Thor asks as if they never had a fight at all. Maybe for him this really is over and in the past, not worth thinking about anymore.

Loki shrugs, helpless against the overwhelming friendliness. He would have preferred everything to return to what it had been yesterday. 'Just some bread.' His hunger is gone again but he feels like he owes it to Thor to at least eat something. It's best to pretend nothing had happened between them. Maybe somewhen Loki would learn to live the lie and believe it.

'Alright.' Thor kisses his cheek, presses him down into a chair and goes to prepare some food for them. Loki is still caught up in his thoughts when Thor places a plate in front of him.

xXxXx

'Do you want to go to the training area?'

Thor turns around surprised. He had been sitting in the library with Loki so the ravenette wouldn't hide away from him anymore and wouldn't get any wrong ideas about Thor's whereabouts. He had been leafing through a book about Asgard, missing home worse with every day that passes. He had never been gone for so long without hearing any news from the realm he is supposed to rule one day.

Bruce stands in the doorway, an unsure smile on his face. One hand is at the back of his head, his glasses are in the other. The doctor had never come to Thor before to work off some tension. Usually the blond has to practically drag the scientist into the sparring arena and demand some practice. Thor is surprised and pleased with this development. Bruce had grown more and more comfortable with his second skin, Thor won't butcher the development.

'Sure. Loki?'

The ravenette looks up from his studies. Thor smiles to encourage his husband. He still hesitates for some moments, he takes in both Bruce and Thor. 'Of course.', he says regally. He shuts his book and stands up to follow them. Thor doesn't has to question Bruce about the reasons for this unscheduled training session. He had been anxious and under a strain for the past days thanks to his new lady interest. Of course he would have to let off some steam sooner or later. The same Thor had requested during his and Loki's separation.

They walk down the hallway and take the elevator to the Hulk proof training room. The walls are strong enough to hold even though Thor and Hulk battle each other, a wonder made possible by Tony's engineering and Loki's magical enforcement of the walls. Loki sits down at the side of the room with his book while Bruce gets ready to hulk out, not that it would take him much these days. Since he had gotten more used to changing back and forth, he has more control over his other self and doesn't panics whenever it happens. The Hulk at the same time had become more predictable.

Thor changes into some more comfortable battle armor so he wouldn't tear the Midgardian clothes yet again, then steps next to his husband. He puts a hand on Loki's shoulder and smiles down. 'Do you want to participate? I think Bruce could need the exercise.', he states with a smile. The poor scientist has been on edge for some time now, actually ever since they met the brunette female from their past.

Loki raises an eyebrow. 'You will offer more than enough.', he gives back with a smirk.

'He's got better control of himself but he is still a strong fighter.' Thor leans on the wall, waiting for his opponent to show up and maybe animate Loki to participate in their fight. He would offer a welcome change.

'I am sure you will keep him busy.', Loki says with a smile, turning back to his book. 'Should he, however, smash you into a wall like the past few times I have watched, I will avenge you, brother.', he promises, starting to read again, a smirk creeping back on his face.

Thor chuckles, squeezes his shoulder one last time before going to meet the transformed Doctor Banner in the middle of the circular training room. He hears the ravenette mutter a deflection spell to make sure he isn't hit by any objects or Avengers. Mjolnir is out of the game in any case.

Thor and Hulk start to circle each other, Hulk shaking his head occasionally when Bruce tries to get a better grip on his other form. A grim smile spreads on Thor's face. This is what he missed most about Asgard, to be able to spare with someone without having to worry about hurting them. Hulk attacks without further warning, going right for Thor's head as usual. The beast always tries to end the fight fast. Thor blocks the fist that aims at his head, using it as leverage to bring Hulk off balance. The green giant stumbles barely until he is back again at Thor, ready to rip his head off in his anger. Hulk had never actually hurt Thor but one never knows. Thor notes that Hulk is more aggressive though Bruce seems to have him under better control than before.

The fight continues for some minutes, both of them beating each other with all their strength. The walls get some new dents that will be repaired by Friday, eventually Loki even looks up from his book to watch them fight. They are evenly matched in strength but what Thor makes up with strategy he lacks in brutality and speed. Hulk continuously crowds him against the walls but Thor manages to get some space with a well aimed right hook.

'Hey guys!' Elena slanders into the room, oblivious to the danger she walks into. Thor turns around surprised, letting Hulk out of sight for a moment. The green rage monster isn't so easily distracted and knocks Thor of his feet with a punch that the blond is sure to feel come the morning.

With a groan Thor picks himself up from the ground to glare at Bruce but he doesn't even look in Thor's direction. His eyes are fixed on Elena who looks over Loki's shoulder to see what book he holds. Loki apparently noticed the Hulk's interest as well, anxiety creasing his brow. Hulk flexes his muscles, shaking his head more violently.

Thor slowly stands up to not draw his attention to himself, summons Mjolnir from his side of the room, gripping his hammer tighter now, ready to defend his husband and his friend.

Elena looks up and finally her eyes land on Hulk. Her facial expression changes from polite interest to utter amazement. Her mouth opens, her eyes widen. Before Loki can stop her, she had crossed a great part of the distance between herself and Hulk. The big green is getting more and more nervous, looks ready to lash out but Elena seems completely unfazed.

'Oh my. You are quite something, aren't you?', she says, a strange glint in her eye.

Thor makes eye contact with Loki but he looks as unsure as Thor feels. Should he interfere? Hulk seems unsure as well as to what to do with the slender figure in front of him. There is a concentrated look on his face.

Elena reaches out her hand as if to touch him. Hulk retreats slightly, a frown on his face, before nearing a little, watching her hand with interest as if he couldn't figure out what it is. His arms are at both his sides. He is curious and cautious at the same time.

This silent Thor hadn't seen the Hulk ever. It is as if he waits for her to make her move first. Maybe Bruce had gotten full control of his other self but he isn't turning back yet.

Then he realizes that Elena had never seen the Hulk after all. In the battle they hadn't met, Thor had not one time seen her during the fight against Thanos' minions. Bruce had transformed back soon after the end before they rejoined the others at Clint's side. Furthermore, Bruce hadn't hulked out in the past few weeks to not endanger anyone. He had believed his distraction would let his concentration slip and unleash the raw might of the Hulk.

She huffs out a laugh. 'You're amazing, Bruce.' She moves closer. Hulk straightens up but doesn't move back anymore. He doesn't even jerk away when she places a hand on his pectoral, the highest point Elena can reach. A tremor goes through him but apart from that Hulk doesn't move. There is no anger in his appearance anymore, just plain curiosity and something Thor can't place.

'You never told me.' Elena turns to Loki. 'His energy emission is magnificent.' She looks up at Hulk and smiles. 'You are full of mysteries aren't you?' Hulk tilts his head to one side. The following grunt sounds like an approval.

Thor steps closer a little, just in case. Banner doesn't seem to be anywhere near the beast at the moment because he surely would have backed off by now. The Hulk without restraint is difficult to size up.

'You really shouldn't..', Thor starts but is cut off by a growl from Hulk. The blond is clever enough not to move so he would not anger him further. He puts his hands up to show Hulk he means nothing none of them harm.

'It's alright. He is harmless.', Elena assures him. 'Just relax, Thor.' Still, she takes some steps back from Hulk. He looks unhappy about this and eyes Thor with thinly veiled anger. Her eyes are full of admiration. Maybe she actually likes the dear doctor with all his forms, Thor muses.

She turns to Thor. He only now notices the cut on his forehead from when he had hit the floor when Elena came in. She reaches up, magic dancing at her fingertips. 'Bruce will be sorry enough.', she whispers. 'No need to make it any worse.' Elena smiles. Thor smiles back just when she is yanked back and he is pushed onto his bottom. Perplexed Thor stares up to see Hulk with Elena on his arms, an angry expression directed to where Thor sits.

'Hulk does not like Elena touching Thor.', he states in his deep grumble.

She doesn't seem to mind being manhandled like this. 'But Thor is Hulk's friend. And Elena's.', she answers as if she would speak to a child and not one of the most brilliant men of Midgard. Elena is amused rather than angered. Thor can live without medical treatment.

He shakes his head. 'Hulk doesn't like.'

Thor is still too stunned to stand up and Loki is too stunned to do much more than stand there, with his hands raised to defend them against Hulk and gape at the three of them.

Hulk throws one last contemptuous glance at Thor, then he walks out of the room, carrying Elena who does not mind at all.

'That was.. something.', Loki says after a while when he comes over to help Thor up. The blond accepts the help and lets himself be pulled into a standing position.

Thor nods in agreement. 'I didn't know that Doctor Banner felt like that.', he finally forces out. He is too surprised to say much else. He doesn't mind that Bruce feels like that or that his feelings are reciprocated, he is even happy for him.

Loki shrugs. 'She said something like that.', he admits.

Thor frowns. They had talked very briefly about Loki and Elena's conversation but he had believed she more phrased her hopes than her believes.

'Well, the Hulk is Bruce's unconsciousness. If he knows she is the woman for him, then Hulk will know it first.', Loki agrees to his unspoken thoughts.

'You think he is fighting it?', Thor asks.

Loki shrugs. 'He is a very logical person. Of course he would fight anything he doesn't understand. Especially when he thinks what he feels is wrong.', he reasons.

'I am happy for them.', Thor states with a smile, putting his arm around Loki.

Loki sighs. 'So am I.' Thor presses a kiss to his temple. 'Still interested in a spare?', he asks. 'I guess Bruce won't return anytime soon.'

Thor grins. 'I'd love to. Love you.'

When they see Bruce and their friend for the next time, he again evades Elena as if he regrets his earlier possessiveness because there is no other way to describe Hulk's behavior. But the doctor isn't kidding anyone. He keeps pushing Elena away over the next few weeks but she doesn't have any of that. Loki once compared it to a dance and Thor can't help but agree. A dance in which Bruce has to learn the steps.

There are a lot of bets going on about how far Bruce would let Elena take this when. Tony had to cook them a delicious dinner when the brunette managed to cuddle with Bruce without him withdrawing.

Loki relaxes visibly once that happened. Thor couldn't be happier.

xXxXx

The past six months have passed faster than the travel to Xandar despite the break they had taken. Their new friend or Bruce's new lady friend as the Asgardian brothers call her, had still insisted on getting to her homeworld despite her powers having returned as she had proven in the battle against Thanos' minions.

Tony had been impressed by her quick thinking. She hadn't flown for real but teleported from ship to ship to kill the crews. While they all would have preferred the culprits being taken prisoner instead of killing them, the Avengers had to agree this was the neatest solution. She is more adept to close range fighting than most of them, being as deadly with the sword as Loki with his daggers. She hadn't regretted killing the henchmen of Thanos more than she would regret stepping on an ant.

And after seeing her planet, Tony understands why she had been in such a good mood after the fighting.

They had stopped short outside the orbit of what appeared to be a desert planet, like Tony had always imagined Tatooine must look from space. It hadn't been the planet Elena had told them about some days earlier. There are no plants, no visible signs of life, not even any water.

They had wanted to board a Quinjet but Elena had insisted on going on her own down there. Tony is sure he wouldn't have wanted to see what was down there anyway. After all the horror stories about what happened to the planet and its inhabitants, he is able to live without the nightmares and memories, thank you very much.

A scan confirmed that no cell is alive apart from the brunette woman on the planet. What she did there is still a mystery to everyone maybe apart from Bruce. All Tony knows is that there is a strange energy signature on the planet his scanners nearly missed because it was so faint and that Elena's scar is gone for good now. There are flashes of black tattoos he caught up over the past months but ever since that visit she had covered her forearm.

None of the other either had dared to leave the ship during their short stop and they had all gazed down. A shiver still runs down Tony's back just thinking about it. It had been a living, thriving planet, now, after the Kree had swept over it, it is a dead wasteland. Is this how Earth would have looked like after being taken over by Thanos or would it have been worse?

He is sitting in the commando control room, looking at the star map. They are almost in the solar system of Asgard. With their previous maps they hadn't noticed that their alien teammates live closer to Xandar, otherwise they could have spared themselves a few weeks of travel.

Tony sighs and slumps further into the captain's chair. Though this had been not as terrible as he had imagined the journey to be, it had all been almost in vain. Not only had they to fight Thanos' henchmen and protected an Infinity Stone, they had also visited a planet far away from everything they had ever known. Tony has all his friends here on the ship except for Pepper and Rhodey. The lost year isn't too much of a loss. He is sure that Pepper ran SI perfectly in his absence. Still, when they had stood there in front of Nova-Prime and Loki had stated the Power Stone was safe, little else had mattered for a moment but the life he left behind for the nonsensical quest.

Fortunately all of their team members have quite the same background. No one is waiting at home and there is no life waiting for any. And with the almost immortal Asgardians, a year is barely worth mentioning.

The Guardians are following them to Earth with a few days delay. At least the Power Stone is safe now for the time being. None of Thanos' minions would be able to overtake any of them. Though in the inhabited part of the universe there are a lot of jumping points to connect different parts of the galaxy with each other but between Earth and Xandar there is none. At least one good news. So it really would take an armada from Thanos' lair a few months to get there in case they are as fast as the September which the normal ships of the Kree and Nova Empires aren't (and neither are the Skrulls faster if Tony would believe the word of Nova-Prime, they are also the reason there are no points in between the Empires). With any luck, Thanos wouldn't even be able to bring the armada through the jumping points without drawing too much attention to himself and might make the whole way with 'slow' travel.

The door to the commando deck opens to reveal Loki.

'Need something?', Tony asks, turning half around. He had withdrawn here to be alone. Cap is annoyingly often in his workshop by now, nagging him about eating and sleeping and other useless stuff.

The ravenette shakes his head. 'How long?'

'A few days. Hard to guess. We still need to decelerate.' He hits a few buttons. What does it matter how long until they get there? It make no sense to keep the exact date in mind as long as they aren't at their destination. It just drives one crazy. 'Why?'

'I have a bad feeling about this.', Loki mutters, stepping closer to the star map. His eyes are fixed on Asgard.

'What do you mean?' Tony brings up the counter until they would reach Asgard. Still over three days.

Loki shakes his head slightly. 'Not sure. It's just a feeling.' Tony's eyes flicker to where Earth is almost off the radar. What if he goes there. He notices Loki's stare in that direction as well. Is that what he worries about, feels?

'You're just nervous because of Thanos. He won't catch up with us.', Tony reassures them both. Otherwise he might be sick.

He sighs. 'I hope you're right.', he mutters. 'Care for some company?' He tears his gaze away from the map and turns to Tony, smiling slightly.

'Why not?' Tony smiles back.

'Was there an answer from Wanda?', Loki asks, sitting down. They had lost contact with Earth a few months ago, already on the trip to Xandar but Loki said not to worry about that fact. He had never tried to extend the reach of the messenger magic over such distances and they had hoped that the connection would return once they were back in reach.

'Nope.', Tony pops the p. He pulls out the thin piece of paper and hands it over to Loki for him to examine it again. He takes the note from his hands. _Almost there. Status report?_ If Vision and Wanda ever gotten the message, none can tell.

Loki frowns slightly, Tony had come to hate that expression. 'The counter part is destroyed.', he says. He had examined the paper some days after it had been accepted that there would be no answer.

'Well, they probably shredded it after we didn't answer for months.', Tony suggests.

'Possible.' Loki ponders, then shrugs. 'They might think you dead.', he muses.

'Possible.', Tony retorts. 'It doesn't matter. We will soon enough prove them wrong.' He sounds lighthearted. Wouldn't be the first time he had been declared dead, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

'Well, you will. Quill probably will be there soon enough as well. It matters little if they know you're coming or not. I am sure everything is fine. Maybe the magic just wore off.' Loki can sense Tony's uneasiness and tries to soothe him, not really succeeding.

'Sure.', he nevertheless agrees. Loki is a magic expert after all. What would Tony know about any of this stuff? Maybe the radio silence is unintentional and they are merely not receiving the messages. 'They can't have gotten past us, can they?', Tony asks in a hushed whisper.

'Do not worry about your home, my friend. Asgard would never let harm come to Midgard.', he assures him.

xXxXx

The team is assembled in the commando center when Tony makes the last prepares. They had send a message in advance but hadn't gotten an answer either to no one's surprise. Loki suggested that the silence from all ends might be due to their own journey. Asgard couldn't answer either way without one of their slips of paper and especially without a concrete location which none of them could provide since the ship is moving faster than light speed. None of them feels comfortable nonetheless. Thanos may have attacked Earth despite everything. The team agreed on getting home immediately after reaching Asgard even if they should get notice there. To see home is something Tony actually looks forward to. Loki and Thor would stay behind for a few days or so to sort out their business, then follow the rest of the Avengers to wait for the Guardians.

When Tony finally opens the hatches, the green surface of Asgard greets them. The big city is visible even from the orbit, the golden gleam in the sun a welcome sight. It's not like the first time they have seen Xandar after months of being confided to this ship but it's a close shot.

Home.

The word crosses Tony's mind unbidden. It's not his planet, not his home. He had barely visited this place three times in his life. Still. It means he is close to come back to his beloved Earth. Somehow he feels a lot calmer. Safer.

The Quinjet is already prepared. No boats whatsoever greet them though and Thor looks more displeased by the minute but the Asgardians keep quite as for now. He is used to the big parades when he returns back home, successful in his quest. Loki seems to be more worried and anxious than displeased though he hides it well. The fact that there had been no commotion about their arrival is strange given that the nine realms were preparing for a full scale war when the Avengers left. Tony isn't the first to notice though, being concentrated on flying his baby after all this time. As the city comes closer, a strange feeling goes through him and his friends. Steve is the first to point out some collapsed buildings.

What had happened? Now that they had spotted that, Tony notices that the gleam isn't as golden as it used to be. They descend slowly over the sea in the south of the city. There are still no ships to meet them. The Asgardians are frozen in place as they stare down to the ground, trying to make out more details but to no avail.

No one says a word, none dares ask what happened, none suggests that Loki could just teleport down to the surface instead of waiting for the Quinjet to take him there. There most certainly should have been an alarm by now. The September might not have been visible from the planet surface but their Quinjet should be.

They touch down near the city at the sea, the only place big enough to land without endangering anyone who might happen to run to them, bend on greeting the Princes first. The Avengers make their way over the beach to the slopes leading up to the market place as Tony remembers. There is a somber silence all over the place and no one wants to be the first to break it.

There are no people, neither out in the streets nor somewhere close. Dirt lies on the streets. Most of the buildings have been raided, some burned down. Over all lies the heavy silence of death.

Thor falls down on his knees, Loki stands behind him as they stare out to the desolate city they once called their home.

xXxXxXx

 **The title is from a comic series published by Marvel first in the 1950's (aka the series that introduced Marvel Thor about 10 years later).**


	66. Chapter 63 Unbearable Reality

**Sorry for the late update. Busy bee me.**

* * *

Unbearable Reality

 _You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.  
Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper _

There is rubble on the once golden shining streets. The cobble stones are mostly hidden by broken down buildings or the remnants of carriages and other every day objects. Loki can't breathe anymore. Thor had fallen to the ground in shock. They had just walked into the city and already the destruction is too much to bear.

From their spaceship they hadn't been able to see the city properly. Loki had only felt the emptiness from the usually buzzing city. He can't see any dead but he feels death all around them. The cold stones and the burned air reek of it.

Some houses are burned down to the ground, only some blackened beams are evidence of their former place. There is a silence over the place none had ever witnessed in the city, not even in the early hours of the morning is the city this quiet. There is always someone up, be it late night owls on their way home from some tavern or farmers who are already up to get the best places on the market.

Loki puts a hand on Thor's shoulder to feel more grounded and to show him he is not alone though he feels this forlorn as well. Seeing their home in shards is the worst thing he had ever experienced, including the torture he had to endure by Thanos. For Thor it must be even worse, he had spend more time with the people here. Loki had never felt the same kind of attachment to the people he had.

His thoughts flit to the people, especially to Frigga and Odin. Sleipnir is supposed to be on Jotunheim. What if that looks the same? The air isn't offering enough oxygen anymore, Loki's breaths get more shallow with each passing second. His son must be safe. And if someone survived this then it must have been the royal family. What if his son had been here? Loki closes his eyes, not wanting to imagine finding him or any of his family buried underneath the rubble.

Loki stretches out his senses but can't find any enemy activities or hostiles. Nor anything else. The usual magical buzz in the air, coming from the objects forged by the Dwarves and bewitched by the Elves and Asgardians alike, from the constant subconscious use of it all over Asgard, all is gone. It feels like something drained the life force from Loki's homeworld.

He turns to Elena. 'Can you feel something?', Loki asks, knowing she has an affinity for detecting the life force of just about anything. He just has to know that someone or something survived.

Elena shakes her head with closed eyes. 'Not anywhere close. We're alone. But there are people in the palace. Deep down in the dungeons.', she says. 'In the forests are even more but far away from here, at least a hundred miles to the northeast. Some even further.'

Loki nods, holding onto Thor a little more than strictly necessary. 'Who?' The blond still kneels on the floor.

She frowns slightly, then opens her eyes. 'No alien races. All are of Asgardian origin.' Loki releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. There are people out there, not all are dead. It doesn't ease his anxiety about the well-being of his family.

'What happened?', Bruce asks finally. 'I mean, who did this?' He turns to Loki, then, when he shrugs, to Elena. Loki can't bring himself to send out his magic further and delve deeper into his environment, afraid of what he would find. Images of his family still haunt him. They should have never left in the first place. It would have been better to die with them than to live in this horror.

She chances a glance to Thor and Loki, then shakes her head. 'Something must have came here.'

'Or someone.', Loki mutters gloomily. He doesn't need any aid to guess whose work this is. Thanos had sworn revenge and he had gotten it. Maybe he had believed to find Thor and Loki here, maybe he had waited for them to leave. But he had done this, had intended on them finding their homeworld smashed, violated, gone. Wherever he is hiding though, Loki would find him and end his life for this.

They decide to walk to the palace because on their own they wouldn't find any answers, especially since they don't know if there really are no hostiles anymore. Whoever might be left, they will have answers. They walk in silence through the destruction. Thor pulls himself together completely, an angry and determined expression now on his face as they evade the rubble that covers the streets and sometimes makes advancing difficult. Loki doesn't want to think about any of this and tries to avoid looking at anything, afraid of what he will see. So many houses can't have burned down and been destroyed without a lot of their people dying. On the streets though, there are no dead bodies but also none of the animals he would have suspected to reclaim the city once Asgardian life vanished from the streets. Something must keep them away. Neither do plants grow outside of the gardens. Either these streets were used until quite recently or the lack of magic keeps away every living creature. He can't break down here, not yet, not anywhen. Loki reminds himself that he is royalty, he has to bear it stoically. The only thing that keeps him going through this void though is the thought of finding Sleipnir, Frigga and Odin. Otherwise he would run from here and never return. Some streets they walk look like they had seen a number of fights before the buildings came down.

The bad feeling extents to the whole group as they walk over some market places which are filled with memories of a thousand people running around, creating an ordered chaos while getting what they needed for the dinner or chatting with acquaintances, of children running around, horses neighing as they made their way through the crowd.

Loki had been against teleporting as he isn't sure who might be watching or noticing their arrival. Until now there had been no sign of anyone having seen the big spaceship that is in Asgard's orbit but he wouldn't want to risk scaring the other people of Asgard with it or make them think whoever did all of this, returned. He wouldn't want to run into a trap unprepared either. It could still be foes out there, bend on killing his friends and him. This could as well be the result of a military conflict between their own people.

A sadness he can not qualm makes Loki's heart heavy. He cannot even begin to imagine how Thor must feel. Asgard is their home, they had spend almost every day of their lives here. To see it in ruins like this has never been something Loki thought possible. Asgard, the realm eternal, a shell of its older self.

How could this have happened? Where is the All-father? Why didn't he prevent this from happening? And why is Heimdall not sending anyone to greet them or inform them about this tragedy? Are these life signs Elena detects even real?

All over the city are signs of detonations, of people fleeing in blind panic and leaving behind whatever they called their own. On some places grass and other weeds start growing in the once impeccable streets of the capital. Several bridges have caved in which makes it more complicated to reach the palace without teleporting. Loki doesn't like the vibe in the air, doesn't want to use magic unless necessary. No one has said it yet but this looks a lot like something Thanos could have concocted.

The palace is visible from the whole city so it's easy to make their way to it even through parts of Asgard the princes don't know very well. The mortals also get more and more nervous. Whatever had hit Asgard, it could have reached Midgard by now as well. This state of disorder hasn't been here just for only a few days but rather for some months at least.

From the higher places of the city they can get a glimpse of the ocean and of where the Bifrost was. Some arcs jutting out of the water are the only visible remnants of the rainbow bridge. From here there would be no quick way home for their Midgardian friends.

Eventually they make it to the palace in silence. To see the halls of the palace in broad daylight without any soul crossing their way is even more discerning. The steps echo down the hallways. Some ways are blocked by fallen boulders and other barriers that come from a part of the palace being collapsed. The whole west wing, the place Loki had chosen as his earlier quarters, has carved in under what looks like a detonation or the result of other artillery. Even the breath of the Avengers is audible in the large halls. The unnatural stillness and silence is driving Loki insane. Once or twice they fancy hearing something in the vast corridors, well ahead of them but they see nothing and no one.

No words are exchanged on the way down the steep stairs to the dungeons. Loki can't even remember the last time he had been down here. Usually only criminals and prisoners from other worlds are held down here so they wouldn't pose a threat to Asgard and the other realms' society anymore. Thor is gripping Mjolnir tightly by now.

They had ignited a torch for the descent which proves unnecessary. At the end of the staircase is already a light burning, illuminating the dark corridors.

The Avengers almost run into a group of Einherjar lead by a black haired female Loki only recognizes seconds later as their old friend, Lady Sif. They all carry weapons in their hands, prepared to fight a battle against intruders. Sif sheathes her sword, a look of shock and hope on her face.

'Thor. Loki.' Her voice is raspy. She brings her fist to her heart. 'We thought..' Apparently she doesn't know how to finish the sentence.

'Sif, my friend.' Thor steps in front and embraces her. 'What happened here?' He looks around, lost. The Einherjar bow deeply to their princes.

The woman sighs. 'We thought you were new intruders. A guard reported he had seen a ship.'

Thor nods. 'That was us.'

Loki immediately wants to ask her how she had gotten here with the Bifrost being destroyed. After Thor's and his wedding the warrior woman had left the realm eternal to go on a quest far away from them to forget and to find new purpose. It had made Thor very sad but he understood her request of leaving the Asgardian warriors to find her own path, knowing that she would not become queen. As far as Loki knew she had been on Vanaheim for the last years. But it matters little now.

'I realized. Please, follow me. We can talk in a more comfortable place than this.' They leave the dimly lit corridor and follow Sif down another fleet of stairs to the quarters of the guard. They see no other warriors though. She apparently had retaken her place as the captain of the guard as soon as she returned. The room in which they are led is barely furnished and serves as a bedchamber for Sif as well. There is a bed in one corner, the rest of the room is almost empty. The walls are made out of crude stone, the only light comes from a torch on the wall. They all remain standing, waiting for Sif to start. Loki itches to ask his questions but he holds his tongue yet.

'You have been gone long.', Sif notes after some moments. She sighs, running her hand over her face. 'A lot has happened. We have a hundred fully equipped warriors or men who once were, give or take, to protect Asgard with right now.', she says. 'Not as many as I would like.' With such simple words she offers the command for Thor to take.

'Who did this?', Loki asks though he already knows the answer.

Her face darkens. 'The Mad Titan. But I am the wrong person to tell you about this. I only got here after the main attack. I led the underground movement and led the warriors to battle the enemy forces.' So Loki had been right about her having regained her position.

'We should have been here.', Thor mutters. Guilt must be cursing through him as well.

Sif huffs. 'To watch Asgard burn? He would have taken you, killed you or worse. We need a leader now.'

'What about Odin?', Loki asks urgently. Sif straightens her back and shakes her head, repeating that it is not her lot to tell them. Loki's heart beats painfully. Why does she refuse to tell them about their father?

'The Queen will tell you everything you need to know. She can.. explain.', she says eventually.

Frigga. Sif had already implicated that she is alive but until Loki had seen her with his own eyes he wouldn't believe it. 'What happened? That much you surely can tell us.', Loki demands.

Sif nods slowly. 'Of course, my prince.' She licks her lips to gain a few seconds. 'From what the other guards told me, Asgard was attacked mere moons after you left. He must have brought his army on the move even before you attacked Midgard with the scepter and the Chitauri.' Loki doesn't bother correct her. Thanos had never planned for Loki to take over Midgard, had always had this back-up plan to conquer the nine realms the old fashioned way without the Cube. He merely wanted to be sure it would not be used as a weapon against him. His clone probably didn't look like he would figure out a way to get to Midgard so the Mad Titan send his army ahead. With his technology and the size of his army, considering the distance between the Sanctuary and Asgard, he must have left even before Loki fled from his grasp. 'Our army tried to stop them but the aliens overran us by sheer numbers. With each of their ships we destroyed, three more came down to take us out. It was slaughtering.' She looks down with a frown. 'A lot of died on both sides but they were prepared.'

Sif takes a deep breath before continuing. 'The army of the Mad Titan retreated eventually after they destroyed the biggest part of the city and the palace. A lot of our people were killed. The death and destruction were of the likes I have never seen before.' Loki had rarely seen her emotional like this. Sif always seemed the most collected person in the room, never giving away any weaknesses.

Thor doesn't know if he should grieve in peace or rage. 'Was there no help?', he asks through gritted teeth.

'How? I barely got here by the help of some sorcerers. After Asgard's fall, there was nothing more to be done. It was over too fast. All good was already gone when I got here four days after the initial attack. They were still at war but the Bifrost had been destroyed mere hours into the fight, the city was on fire, no one had seen the royal family.' Sif shakes her head. 'Most of the populace either died or fled into the woods where they were hunted down by the other armies. A lot of the Einherjar or others who fought, were captured just to be killed after being questioned. Finally we were able to rally our forces and hide away in some corners. Mostly women and children we were able to evacuate to the forests outside of the city during the street battles we started as a distraction. They are still being taken to other worlds or deeper into the wild where they were and are safe. The rest of us hid here in the dungeons, made invisible by the Queen to protect us. From here we started our raids on the remaining forces. Thanos moved on after the most of Asgard had been taken, just some small parties stayed behind to ensure total victory, most went with him. He thought us broken. The Titan will learn even down on the ground, an Asgardian is far from being defeated. Just a few weeks ago we were able to fight them off completely. Since then we have started rebuilding our homes.', she concludes her tale.

'The other realms stood by and watched?', Thor demands to know. Rage is winning over eventually.

Sif shakes her head. 'We got help from Alfheim, Vanaheim and Jotunheim. And your friend, Vision, he also came to our aid. As I said, the Bifrost is destroyed again, getting people and help to this planet is difficult and risky. Some parties were already lost in the vastness between the realms. There was no reason for their people to get slaughtered as well. They send provisions and accepted refugees because it was already to late to save much.' She looks at Thor who knows best what she is talking about. 'Vision was the last warrior to make it here.'

'Where is he?', Steve asks.

'There was no time to call in anyone. He got our message and came on his own. A lot fell before him. He held our ground for a few days, enough to evacuate a few hundred people at least. Then they overwhelmed him, used a weapon to bring him down. He is down here.', Sif motions at the wall to their left. 'I saw him fall. He was brave beyond compare.'

Loki bites his lip. 'Is he hurt bad?'

'No, he is dead.' She shrugs. 'It is difficult to say though. He doesn't have a heartbeat nor any other function. The stone was plucked from his forehead and he was left behind like some old toy. We couldn't revive him.'

'The gem gave him life. Without it he is merely a shell.', Loki explains in a soft voice. He doesn't dare look at Tony how he might take the news.

'They are all gone now?', Thor rumbles. Loki doesn't miss how he grips Mjolnir. He wouldn't mind smashing one or two of the Titan's minions into the ground. He is shaking slightly, transforming his pain into anger and hate towards the attackers and himself. Loki understands, they should have been here to help their family, should have been there for their mother in this worst part of their lives, should have known long ago that something was aloof.

'Yes.', Sif confirms. 'I hunted them all down with the Einherjar. None is alive to tell the tale. We destroyed their ships, they couldn't flee.'

'What about the other realms? Has he attacked them as well?' Some months, almost a year, had passed by Loki's estimation since Thanos left Asgard behind. He must have turned somewhere.

'No, just Asgard. As of yet, at least.', Sif adds.

'Where are our friends? Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg?' Thor watches her closely as if not wanting to miss her lie.

She sighs. 'Hogun is with our people in the forests, keeping them alive. Fandral and Volstagg are with the guards. Volstagg was hurt during our siege. We had to do raids to get enough food for our people who stayed here. Some couldn't flee, others didn't want to. We wanted to destroy the enemy from within. It was dark and Volstagg was hit by one of their energy guns when we came back from the raid.'

'What about the other cities?', Thor asks, not allowing himself to feel any relief.

'They look much the same as Asgard.' Sif shakes her head.

'How many are left?' Loki's voice quivers slightly at the question.

'Four hundred are here, mostly the warriors and those who can fight or were in the palace and could get away from the forces to hide. Some thousand Asgardians fled over the pathways Loki found years ago. Most are now on Alfheim and Vanaheim. Those who didn't dare to cross the vastness are maybe another thousand.'

'Less than ten thousand.' Loki's whisper sounds strangely loud.

Sif shrugs, decidedly nonchalant. 'Give or take.'

Loki breathes in deeply and leans on Thor. This can't be happening. The proud people of Asgard, reduced to less than ten thousand of their people. Millions died while their princes were away, playing savior of the universe.

'Maybe more. A lot are still in hiding. We didn't have time to look for them just yet. They are scared.', Sif explains.

Loki turns to Elena. She nods in agreement. He mouths a 'thank you' back. She would help them find the remaining Asgardians should there be any on Asgard. Maybe there are some left in the forests, lost. He just has to hope that it is true.

'Shall I take you to your friend or the queen?' She nods before any of them can answer. The look on their faces must have been answer enough. They walk down some narrow and dark corridors but the closer they get to the real dungeons, the more people they meet. Some recognize their princes. There are hesitant smiles and quiet hope.

'Mother.', Loki forces out when he spots her close to the entrance of the next chamber. A chant of s _he is alive_ starts in his mind. Relief floods through him, he can even feel Thor instantly relax next to him as his eyes find their mother. Her robes have seen better days and her hair is put in a simple braid but it is unmistakably Frigga directing some of the Einherjar. She looks old even from the distance, worn and tired.

Frigga looks up at them, her eyes are full of unshed tears. A smile spreads on her face. She straightens up. 'Thor. Loki.', she says like she can't quite believe her eyes. Her feet carry her over, the former lightness lost in these circumstances. 'You returned.'

She embraces both at the same time, holding on tightly. Loki hugs her back eagerly, welcoming the soothing touch of his mother after all they had seen outside. After some long moments, Frigga draws back to look closely at them, tears almost overflowing but she holds them back to retain her posture. She puts a hand on each cheek, smiling up at the brothers. Loki feels his own eyes filling with tears.

'We thought you were lost.', she presses out, her voice quaking slightly. Apparently none had told her yet of their arrival. The guards must have kept it quiet.

Thor shakes his head. 'We're alright. What happened here? Where is father?', he asks, looking away only shortly, then his gaze returns to their mother to make sure she doesn't vanish suddenly.

New tears come to her eyes, Frigga looks away for a moment.

'No.', Loki breathes as he realizes what she doesn't say. It can't be. His mouth drops open, his bottom lip quivers. 'No.', he repeats. He feels like he can't breathe anymore, like something hit him hard. Thor apparently catches up quickly, his gaze flitting between Loki and Frigga. His breath quickens

Frigga wipes the stray tear on Loki's cheek away. 'Let us talk somewhere more private. Your friends can stay here, we have some food. They can look for their friend.', she tugs at their hands and they follow her in a stupor. The dungeons had changed a lot, they don't remotely look like the dark place of the palace anymore. The crowd quickly thins out as they walk down one of the corridors to Frigga's room.

'How? When?', Loki asks, extracting his hand from hers as they reach a tranquil part of the dungeons. They are no longer in the prison part but in a corridor leading to the royal wing. Some walls must have been removed. But instead of turning right to the throne room, they take the turn towards the dining halls.

Frigga sighs. 'Two moons after you left. Asgard was under attack. Suddenly at night big ships showed up in the sky and started to bring troops to the ground. They burned down a big part of the city, drove out the residents. They all fled to the palace. Odin wanted to face the army with our own. He was one of the first to fall.' She looks down to the ground, letting a few tears fall.

'Mother.' Loki hugs her close, trying to comfort her alone with that because there are no words. No words to express his sorrow. No words to express his sadness. Odin, his father, the one whom Loki had believed was ashamed of him, the one whose acceptance he had always craved and who had eventually proven a worthy of Loki's affections, taking him as his rightful son, had died. Had given his life in defense of Asgard while his sons were out to protect the universe instead of being there for their father and homeworld.

Thor had frozen a few steps away from them, starring in disbelief.

Frigga regains some of her composure and straightens again. 'Thanos came here to the palace when I tended to Odin.' She swallows thickly. 'He was alone, just came here to gloat. He knew you weren't here but he refused to tell us how. I thought he had you. That you were injured or..' Her breathing becomes more shallow. 'I thought I lost you all.', Frigga whispers in something akin to a sob.

Thor puts an arm around her shoulders when Frigga closes her eyes and takes some deep breaths. 'We will have our revenge, Mother. I swear. Father's death won't go unavenged. Thanos is going to regret deeply what he did to our family.' His voice is dark, almost growling.

This had been his reaction for being defied by the Avengers, his revenge towards Loki.

'What about Sleipnir?', he chokes out.

Frigga shakes her head, a sad expression crossing her face. Loki almost breaks down instantly. A pained sound leaves his throat, making Frigga look up and realize her mistake. 'He is safe, Loki. Sleipnir had been on Jotunheim. Laufey took care of him as he promised. Sleipnir is alright.' She puts a hand under his chin so he looks up at her. Relief floods through him, just this time without guilt. His son is safe, his mother alive and sound. He feels guilty for being relieved that it had been Odin who died and not any other from his family. The man had offered him a home, is his father in law and married to the one and only who Loki would ever call his mother. He has more reason than not to love Odin as his father, they just hadn't understood each other very often. Still, he is thanking the Norns that it hadn't been Frigga who died. His feelings about his son are not possible to put into words. He sacks to the floor, his heart beats painfully.

Frigga strokes his hair back as Loki tries to regain his calmness. She mumbles a quiet 'I am sorry' for causing him this moment of weakness by not elaborating earlier.

'You can tell your friends that Midgard is safe. Heimdall watched it until quite recently. There were no signs of the Mad Titan.'

'He can hide himself.', Loki says. 'Heimdall didn't see their attack on Asgard, did he?' It comes out a little more accusing than he planned. It's not Heimdall's fault. If it is anyone's fault, it is his own. He had somehow captured Thanos attention back then when he destroyed that SHIELD camp and endangered so many lives when he had accepted that there would never be a 'Thor and Loki'. He hadn't been strong enough to kill Thanos. Had helped Thanos bring his army to Midgard, at least his double had. 'We would never know where he is.'

'Heimdall's daily report of the realms showed no indication that the army moves anywhere in the direction of another of the nine worlds.', Frigga says, sitting down next to Loki. 'Alas, we are blind now for the last few weeks. He gave his life in protection of the remaining Asgardians.' She sounds sad. So much had been lost.

Loki can't wrap his head around half the things having happened. 'Where is Father now? And the others?', he asks instead.

'We carried most of them here as we found them. There was no time before to give them a proper burial.' She screws her eyes shut for a moment, pushing the images from her mind. 'Odin has been carried here after the first fight. He.. died here. I had wanted to wait for you or..' Frigga sighs. 'He was king for so long. He deserved better than just be burned in the dead of the night like these killers. It was planned to bury him with the people in a few days.'

She stands up and asks them to follow her to another room close by.

'I conserved them.', she explains as they walk between the rows of Asgardians laying on biers in what used to be the dining hall. The air is cold though it is not the reason of the goosebumps on Loki's skin. They walk down the corridor, to the end of the vast chamber. The walls are barely visible from the middle of the room, the rows of dead are endless.

At the end there is a separate bier. It is bigger than the others.

Odin holds his sword in his hands, Gungnir stands next to his head, waiting for its next holder. He looks almost peaceful in his sleep. His hair is almost completely white. There are new scars on his face but the most of his injuries are hidden underneath his golden armor.

'Father.' Thor's whisper is loud in the silence. He drops to his knees next to Odin, one hand grasping on the white cloth covering his lower body.

Loki hugs his mother closely when she starts to cry. He can bear it. He has to.


	67. Chapter 64 Burying Dreams

Burying Dreams

 _Weakness and ignorance are not barriers to survival, but arrogance is.  
Cixin Liu, Death's End_

Loki can't look away from Odin's dead body. Frigga's spell conserved him so he merely looks as if he would be sleeping. The ravenette doesn't doubt that it was his mother who did the ritual washings herself. Loki has to fight that strange glimmer of hope that his father, the man who raised him, would still be alive and sit up any moment to declare, with Asgard's princes now back in their home, war upon Thanos, for all to raise their weapons and have their revenge.

He still holds Frigga close. He doesn't trust himself to not break down if he would touch his dead father. Thor is muttering something to Odin which neither of them can hear. Loki would not be able to keep his head once he had confirmed Odin's death for himself. It feels surreal, like a dream. As long as he doesn't touch his father he can pretend Odin is still alive and would be able to step in at any moment. His people need a strong leader, Loki cannot let himself despair and break down as he wants to. As long as Asgard would need him, he would have to be strong and bear his lot without complaint. He qualms the sudden pangs of sadness and loss, thinking of himself as turning into the ice he had feared for his whole life.

Loki had expected the Asgardians to react differently to their return. Their princes had left their home when Asgard needed them the most. Maybe they understand the importance of their mission. Maybe it is just because of their love for Thor. Loki at the least regrets their involvement in intergalactic matters. It is true, the Power Stone might have been lost to Thanos and the attack on Asgard would have been inevitable in any case, but at least he and Thor would have stood with their people.

Frigga doesn't let go even after the initial grief is over, Loki doesn't has to ask to know she doesn't come down here very often. To see her husband like this, to think he looks like he is still alive, must cause a fresh wave of pain each time. She had thought both her sons dead for a year now, that with Odin, all her family had died. Had tried to make herself believe that Thanos lied when he mocked her in her grief. He had wanted her to give up all hope, to abandon her planet. He knew her death was just a matter of time. Loki feels too numb to be angry, to rage about the insolence of the Titan, to plot his revenge as Thor had done. Ten thousand. No more are left of the once proud warrior race of Asgard. Ten thousand souls lost in the nine realms with no home to turn to. He feels the loss and what more loss is to come, no matter how much he doesn't want it to.

After some minutes that feel like an eternity, Thor rises to his feet and stalks off towards the exit of the dining hall holding all of Asgard's dead. Frigga and Loki follow him more slowly. Thor's expression had said it all. Anger and rage had burned away his grief. He would deal with that later, much later. Loki had never seen such determination on his husband's face. Thanos would pay. It is good to know Thor would be ready to lead his people. But Thor would need a strong person standing next to him, help him to not simply rage but destroy the enemy. Once that is done, there would be time for both of them to grief together. Thor can just exchange his sadness with anger and hate, Loki has to either feel it all or none at all. A clear head is necessary, he tells himself. The cold anger is a better companion than the burning hot rage.

They walk back to where they had entered the aboveground chambers and go back to the dungeons.

'Why are you still down here?', Loki asks. After all, Thanos' forces had been defeated by the brave people of this realm, beating back at the highest costs. Why wouldn't they return to the surface? Why had they chosen this place anyway? He can already make an educated guess. He wouldn't want to live in a palace without his father either. Everyone had lost someone. Too few had survived for it to be any other way.

'Up there is nothing for us anymore.', Frigga confirms Loki's unvoiced suspicions. She sounds defeated and sad beyond words. 'We started cleaning up the city a few weeks ago but we haven't done much progress yet and since the Bifrost is destroyed, there is no way for us to call more aid than what is send to us.'

'Can't you use magic?', Loki asks with a frown. If he could learn to teleport within the realms, others surely could as well. He could teach them, bring them food and much needed people. The reconstruction of their homeworld should be the highest priority just now. That and the well being of Asgard's people.

'We needed to look after our people first, darling. There was a shortage on food and this was one of the only places big enough to assemble the remaining Asgardians to help each other and unite our forces.', Frigga explains. She tells him of the struggles to get enough food for even the few survivors because there had been next to no harvest and a lot of the orchards where burned down, the animals either eaten by the intruders or slain to feed the people in the forests and palace. 'We are the rearguard.', she says. 'We are here to see what can be salvaged and if our people can return some day.' The other cities also have small groups of people who try to reconquer their own houses. Not all will be saved and not all can be saved. There aren't enough people to fill the cities and the villages.

Maybe he is jumping ahead. 'If there are others in the forests, we can find them.', he offers after some moments. She is right, this is more important than some rubble on the street or some inconveniences in living matters. Asgardians are sturdier than to care for such trivial matters.

Frigga looks at him with astonishment. 'How? Where? How are you going to do that?' She is delighted by this new bit of news. A lot have been lost in the forests during the war and the evacuation. Some of them must have survived.

Thor turns around from where he had been walking in front of them. Apparently he remembers the way better than Loki in his stupor does. Now he stops to face their mother. 'How could Heimdall miss them?', Thor demands to know. He frowns.

She sighs. 'The fight cost him more than he wanted to let on.', she says. 'He had to concentrate on an exact location to see someone. And as I said, we could barely feed the people in the palace. Out there, away from our foes, they had better chances of survival anyway.', Frigga reasons. 'They weren't under constant attack and didn't have to hide so much.' Never mentioning the deer and boars roaming the wilds around Asgard.

'Elena told us she would help with finding the refugees.', Loki tries to return to the earlier questions of the queen. Accusations aren't helpful. They cannot risk a wedge in the already weakened bonds.

'Elena?' Frigga seems lost cause for her they surely can't think of the same person.

Loki sighs. 'Yes, she is alive. She felt them in the forests. Her powers allow her to find them easier than it would be for us.' Frigga chooses not to question this at all. She nods. Loki feels a strange twinge in his stomach having to rely on the woman. He had gotten along better with Elena during the rest of the journey but Loki still doesn't like her this close to his husband. Apparently Frigga feels his reserve or has similar worries. Thor had spoken to her about Elena after their return from the Citadel after all.

'We need to gather with them.' Thor and Loki agree. 'They might be in need of help. We hadn't had contact with them for at least fourteen moons. I had hoped Hogun would find a few of them or they would find their way back.', Frigga straightens her back and is no longer just their mother and the widow of Odin but also the responsible queen of Asgard, alas a tired one.

'They probably don't know yet that the fights are over.', Loki suggests. 'We need to be careful. I will go with her so our people won't be scared away by a stranger.'

Frigga nods. 'You will be needed here, darling. But if you insist, it will be a great service to your people.'

'We were away long enough.', Loki voices his hurt and regret.

'Let's go back to your friends.', Frigga suggests after some moments of silence. Thor and Loki agree and they walk back to the entrance of the dungeons. The Avengers are there, eating dinner. Frigga sits down next to them on some benches, Loki and Thor sit down on either side of her.

Frigga smiles at them. 'Thank you for bringing my sons back.', she turns to the Avengers whom she had directed with a raise of her hand to remain seated.

Steve smiles. 'We are part of the team. We got each others' back.', he waves off her praise.

'So, what is the whole story. My queen.', Tony adds quickly when his self-preservation kicks in, his gaze falling to all the warriors surrounding them. He hopes to gather more information about Thanos' attack than Sif had let them know about.

Frigga sighs. 'Two years ago, an army invaded Asgard. They killed the people and took over the world in revenge for what the group called the Avengers and my two sons, Thor and Loki, had done to their master. We others hid out here in the dungeons and wherever else we could. Thanos showed up briefly, then left some of his people behind to watch for us and to kill us should it prove necessary and in case we were still alive. We fought the intruders and were able to fight them off, reclaiming our homeworld. Since then we have been trying to rebuild Asgard and gather the survivors.', she retells the tragedy as if she would pass on a list of groceries, almost emotionally detached and cold.

Tony blinks a few times without uttering a single word. 'Okay. Wow. Er, I am sorry for this.' One glance to Loki and Thor makes him pause again, he doesn't ask where Odin is. When Loki notices the worry that creases his brow, he shakes his head to tell him he doesn't need to worry about Midgard.

Apparently the news of the arrival of the two sons of Odin had spread as more and more people gather in the near vicinity to get a look at them.

'Do we have enough provisions to help them?', Loki asks though he knows Tony's answer beforehand.

The brunet nods. 'Sure. We only need to get them down here. We won't need them anymore.', Tony immediately agrees. 'I can take the Quinjet up. If I can land somewhere closer, we could bring the provisions here in a few hours.'

Frigga inclines her head. 'We thank you for your kindness.'

'What else do you need? Whatever we have, I am sure we will gladly give to help you.', Steve suggests with a glance in Tony's direction who nods in consent.

'And what we don't have I can organize at home and send up here.', he without doubt already makes plans of what to get for Asgard's help. 'Blankets, building materials, food, whatever you need. The whole raft. If I can get it on Earth, you can have it.'

Loki interrupt him. 'The Bifrost was destroyed.', he reminds him for he seems to have forgotten. Nevertheless he can't help but admire the willingness to help a different world.

That makes Tony pause in his rambling. He stares first at Loki with shock, then, with his features under control again, he turns to Frigga for confirmation. This puts a buffer on their plans and would throw them back by a few months at least. From Asgard it would be four months approximately to return to Midgard if they would need the ship.

'I will get you all home.', Loki promises. After all, they had only taken this way home to be a little faster. From here though Loki feels comfortable enough to teleport them all to Midgard. Loki turns to Frigga. 'I will be back by tomorrow.' He doesn't dare to return sooner because teleporting between the nine realms is exhausting enough without having to carry five Avengers plus a track along friend with him. Maybe Elena could help him get them all to Midgard, maybe she would just want to stay on or get away from Asgard. Who is he to know what she will do by now? Maybe she would stay here first for a few days to help with the missing Asgardians as she promised, maybe she would want to rest first as they had planned.

If Tony really would help with sustenance and other much needed items, Loki would be the only one being able to bring it up here. It would be one Hel of a strain as it is.

'You won't go alone. Chances are Thanos hides somewhere and just waits for you to show up, Loki. I will come with you.', Thor reprimands him.

Loki sighs and shakes his head. As much as he wants to have Thor at his side, he knows they are needed here. Loki just can allow himself to go because of the debt he has to repay to his friends and the chance of bringing much needed goods. 'You don't have to.'

'Yes, I have.', Thor counters immediately.

Frigga turns to his side, placing a hand on Thor's arm. 'You are the king now, my son.', she tells him softly, reminding him of his duties. 'There won't be a big ceremony as your father had planned but we still will hold it rather sooner than later. The people suffered, they need someone to look up to.', she says.

'Someone who wasn't there for them?', Thor asks bitterly. 'I don't deserve the throne. First I will avenge my father, then I can take his place and face the people of Asgard. This is bigger than us, Mother. Our people will understand.'

Frigga isn't happy about this development. 'They need a leader.', she tries again.

'And they need someone who knows what they are doing. They need you, their queen, whom they have looked up to for the last two millennia, not some inexperienced Prince.', Thor insists. Loki has to admit that he is right. Suddenly he can seen Thor on the throne, a good king and a wise ruler for his people even without Loki directing him.

Frigga looks down. 'We need your help rebuilding our home, son. I do not ask as your mother but as the queen of this realm. We need to think of our own people as well.' Loki can hear her fatigue. She doesn't want to be queen anymore, the one needing to stoically bear it all and lead their people. She had spend most of her life doing this and now, after the death of her husband, she is ready to pass on the responsibility and finally retire.

'Asgard's responsibility are all the nine realms and also the worlds beyond. And if you insist as queen, I am denying as the rightful king.', Thor decides, standing up tall. Of course Thor cannot accept his mother's offer to take over their world yet. He needs to know he deserves to sit on the throne. The fact that he had not been there for Odin's death is even more reason not to take his rightful place until he had avenged it. Thor had wanted for Odin to give the throne to him, to spend a few years at his side and help him with the burden.

Frigga looks up at her son, smiling with tears in her eyes. 'Spoken like a true king.' She stands in front of Thor and caresses his cheek. 'Come back as soon as you can, darling.'

Thor covers her hand with his. 'I will, Mother. As soon as we have hunted down the Mad Titan. But first, I want to see where our people are and how they are faring.' He looks back at Sif who sits among their friends. She joins them and Frigga to walk through the different corridors of the underground structure. Down here, the few hundred people look like a lot more but they all are tired and desolate. Here and there a smile greets the princes but usually the people are busy with their own problem. Loki's heart threatens to sink further with each step he takes. It takes them one hour before they return to the point from whence they started. The fire burns down slowly, casting flickering shadows all over the walls as they try to process what they had seen. To think that Frigga had to deal with this all on her own..

Sif bows to Frigga. 'Would you like to see your friend now?', she asks the Avengers. The others must have waited for Thor and Loki to see Vision. She waves one of the guards over to show them the way.

Elena stands up, rolling her shoulders. 'Well, you do that. I will step outside a bit and look if I can't find anyone out there.' She looks at Sif. 'Care to join me? After all, they might be thinking they are seeing ghosts and that could be highly inconvenient.'

Sif nods, looking at the queen who gives her consent. Elena and Sif leave quickly, leaving them behind at the remnants of dinner. Frigga looks tired beyond words and ready to sleep a solid week if not longer. She hadn't touched her food. Loki wants to make sure she gets what she needs and doesn't need to take care of everything at least for a day.

The others aren't ready to sleep yet and leave to see after Vision while Loki stays with Frigga to take care of her and mix her a sleeping potion. He would love to do more, heal his people, clear some structures, anything to have the feeling to be of any use but he needs to safe his strength for the trip that would take his friends to Midgard.

The thought that this would be really his realm in no time crosses his mind. He would be.. Queen? King's Consort? Second in command? There had been a time when he would have done a lot to be only considered for the position of king, now Loki isn't even sure if he is the right for this post. He never wanted the power, the responsibility. Thor was made for this, to rule and for people to listen to him and follow his lead.

Frigga must sense his discomfort. She had drunken the potion already while Loki busies himself with not looking too closely at the place his mother chose as her sleeping quarters. It is not better than any place the other refugees had taken and even lower than Sif's quarters.

'It will be alright.' She hugs him tightly. 'Don't worry too much. This was a lot to take in. You should rest. There will be enough to do in the morning. That much I can promise.' She smiles a little broken.

'He will pay.', Loki promises into the dark of the room after Frigga extinguished the candles.

'Sleep.' He knows it is pointless, he wouldn't find any repose tonight, not even after being reunited with a part of his family, nevertheless, he lets himself be led to the bed and pushed down. It is no real bed but rather a stack of hay and a cloth on top of it but this humble bed is all the queen wants for herself in these times of death and hardships.

In the dark he waits for Thor to return. He probably had met Fandral by now. Maybe even Elena would be back with Sif by now alongside some lost souls. These thoughts take up most of his thinking as Loki listens for his mother falling asleep as the potion starts to work.

He still cannot bring himself to feel the full extent of the pain and grief though he is alone now. His eyes burn but the tears won't come. This cannot be true. Surely he would wake in a few moments on board of the September and find out they hadn't reached Asgard yet. Or maybe in his old rooms, when he was still Loki Odinson, brother of Thor, second heir to the throne, and his biggest problem had been anyone finding out about Thor and his infatuation, finding that the last years had been naught but a bad dream. Even that would be better than this reality.

Thor returns some hours later, it has to be well into the night. He wraps his arms around Loki, squeezing himself into the bed. He hugs him close, burying his nose in the junction between Loki's neck and shoulder. He doesn't ask what he had seen, how their friend is, if Elena had returned with good tidings. Loki puts a hand on his forearm, stroking the skin lightly. He closes his eyes and just takes whatever comfort he can get from his husband. Thor doesn't fall asleep either and just holds Loki close. None says a word as the sun rises above in the golden city.

xXxXx

Tony sighs deeply when he looks over the red humanoid body lying on the wooden surface of a table in a separate chamber. Whatever the Asgardians are lacking, they surely have space, he thinks bitterly. He is more tired than ever before in his life including his return from Afghanistan and fighting fucking aliens in the middle of the town he grew up in. This is just fucked up, there are no other words for the situation at hand. Tony had only seen Asgard on three occasions and had marveled at the beauty, the flawless workings of a city this size. From Thor and Loki's stories he knows there are a few other major cities and countless villages which don't look any different now.

The air still carries the smell of the fires these people used to burn the remnants of their attackers. Tony cannot begrudge them this small joy.

Millions, billions, had died on this planet, either in defense of their families or in the fires Thanos had lightened. Tony feels like an intruder, a watcher who sees mass destruction, the extinction of a species and is unable to do something about it but is condemned to helpless watch them struggle. Tomorrow, before anything else, he would fly up with Cap or some of the Asgardians and bring down whatever they wouldn't need. There is still a lot of food on board for emergencies. Maybe it would help them here. The winter would soon come and there hadn't been a harvest to collect.

His stomach churns at the thought of what they might find at home. The queen had promised that Earth is safe but Tony can't shake the feeling that they had been a little too busy with their own lot to pay close attention to his world. Not that there would be much fault in that. They had needed the help they promised Earth in the end for themselves.

He looks down at Vision, lying motionless on the table.

His circuits are mostly fused by whatever weapon finally stopped the onslaught of the Mind Stone and Jarvis. Jarvis. Tony reaches out for the cold red hand to steady himself. The last piece of his best friend had died in a world billions of kilometers away from his home, even more distance had separated him from Tony.

The circuits, Tony is sure, he could fix. But the processor, his brain, is empty. Maybe Jarvis is somewhere in there, some basic code hidden in the depth of the imitating nerve system of the Synthezoid but even that Tony doubts. Without the Mind gem this body would not rise again. It is powered by the solar energies collected by it and driven by the strange mixture of the AI and the alien artifact. His hand curls into a fist. Tony would fix Jarvis and bring back Vision. That's the least he owns his friend. At least he has had a body for whatever short time, Tony thinks. He had always feared that Jarvis would leave him as soon as he would have legs but the AI had chosen to stay with him even after all. As much as Vision claimed to not be his old friend, Tony had been joyous that a part of Jarvis lived on.

'I'll fix this mess.', he promises quietly.

The others had left like half an hour ago, giving Tony the time to assess the damage as he claimed though he had already seen that there would not be much physical damage to repair. No time to despair though. Tony sighs. What if Vision wouldn't wake again even with the stone? Tony has no idea how it worked in the first place, never mind how he is supposed to replicate his birth.

'I'll come back.'

Tony touches the cold metal, the same element that Cap hurls at his opponents, the rarest there is on Earth. This wrong he would right and if it kills him, so be it.

xXxXx

Night falls over the city eternal. All the people had gathered at the water to give their dead a last farewell. It is pathetic. For every living Asgardian there are at least twenty dead. It is Asgardian costume that every dead would get their own boat to travel to Valhalla but there just isn't enough wood and workforce to build that many. And what is there must be preserved to serve the living, so they had build rather big barks, holding a hundred bodies each.

The sky seems to be on fire when they are lit before they fall over the rim and their souls are released to find their way.

Rage seethes in the pit of Thor's stomach. Alone the warmth from both his mother and husband keep him grounded. In the flames he sees Asgard burning, Odin's lifeless, colorless face, millions accusing him of leaving them when they would have needed him the most. Thor's face darkens along with the sky.

Odin had been the only one with a single bark, Thor had fired the arrow to set it alight. That Elena had found some more hundred survivors, maybe up to a few thousand, is a comfort, alas a very small one. Maybe more are still alive but she would need time to find them. Still, it doesn't erase the visual in front of Thor.

Thanos would pay for this. Thor would make him pay for his own blunder. Better burn with his own people than having to bear this in life. He would carry them all with him for the rest of his existence.

Thor takes a deep breath and straightens, holding onto Loki's hand when the ravenette snakes it into his. Whatever the costs may be, he is an Avenger. He would do what he does best.

xXxXx

The next morning comes far too soon for anyone except Tony. The mortal is up and about long before sunrise, being anxious to return to his world as soon as possible. The worry that Thanos could have gotten there in the meantime might be wellfounded so Loki doesn't judge. They had transported the food to the surface as well as their blankets and other good for comfort to give Asgard some hope. To look into the worn faces of his people, seeing them light up a little in hope, had almost broken his heart. Some small orphans run through the empty streets.

Elena had offered up her help for transporting the whole ship to the solar system of Midgard. She reasoned it would be better to be able to flee in the same moment they might realize that Thanos is waiting for them there. Being trapped on Midgard is the worst that could happen when Thanos breathes down their necks.

Frigga hugs Loki tightly. 'Come back soon, sweetheart.', she whispers into his ear.

'I will.', he whispers back. 'I'll keep him safe.', he adds a moment later.

She laughs when she draws back. 'Take care of yourselves.', Frigga says to the once-brothers. Tony leaves the Quinjet on Asgard so that they could get into contact with the other survivors. Loki estimates that maybe a thousandth or even less of their people are still alive. Thor and he had held on to each other the whole night, mourning their loss.

Loki looks past Frigga. There is no cheering from the crowd behind her as they depart, no sound at all. They had seen a war and lived through it. The thought makes him pause. Thor and he would have to pick up the pieces and rebuild their realm after the war is won. He is sure that the guards held everyone back who might have challenged either of the princes for their role in this. Loki tries to push these thoughts aside. He cannot grief for all who are lost, not yet.

Within the blink of an eye the whole scenery is changed and instead of the stars surrounding Asgard, Midgard is in front of them, taking up the best part of their view.

'Scanning in progress. No alien life forms detected, Sir.', Friday informs them after some seconds. 'No hostile forces. Shall I contact Miss Potts?'

'Yeah, tell her we are coming home but call Wanda first.' Tony sits back on his chair and exhales audible. Loki tries to quench the jealousy but can't help the clenching of his hands. To see Midgard unharmed while Thanos laid waste to Loki's homeworld, is almost unbearable. The thought alone makes him want to cry for days without end if he wouldn't be exhausted from the act. Elena doesn't seem to be much better.

Loki leans on the wall next to him, just looking at the world beneath his feet. A dark chuckle coming from behind makes him freeze.

'Welcome back, Avengers.'

xXxXxXx

 **Oh oh. Evil cliffhanger? That's not very nice. And if you want to argue, Loki cannot teleport outside of the nine realms without an anchor and a path but inside he has learned (like 45 chapters ago). So, yes, bad things are about to happen :)**


	68. Chapter 65 All Of Time And Space

**Fair warning: Mentions of torture (psychological as well as physical) and a tiny little implication of non-con at the end. If you know that's not your cup of tea, feel free to skip the parts/this chapter.**

* * *

All Of Time And Space

 _End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take.  
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King _

'Welcome back, Avengers.'

The words ring through the silent commando control center of the September. In front of them lies Midgard, almost filling out their whole vision and, until a few seconds ago, all their thoughts. They had come back from their long journey to Xandar and Asgard, finally coming home.

With a heaving chest, Loki turns around to find the stuff of his nightmares facing him. The other Avengers slowly turn as well. The friendly yet hostile words still echo in their ears.

A shudder goes through the ravenette when his eyes fall on the purple giant looming right behind the group. His hands are clasped behind his back, Thanos' mouth is curved into a wicked smile. He is at ease, just looking past the Avengers to where Midgard is visible through the viewing shield filling out most of the vision, greeting them like he has been waiting for some time already.

How he got here or when he had sneaked in without anyone noticing, Loki doesn't know. He had been too distracted with his own thoughts of a destroyed Asgard and a safe and sound Midgard to listen too closely to any sounds or feel out with his magic. Loki doubts he would have even felt the burst of cosmic energies Thanos must have emitted when he teleported on board, they are foreign to his magic. There are no ships around them though so where did he come from? And does that even matter, Loki asks himself.

The person who had destroyed his homeworld, killed his father and hurt his mother now stands in front of the team, not the least bit concerned about anything. Thanos looks as if he already has defeated them, as if looking forward to them realizing the same.

Loki sees red and wants to lash out blindly but finds his magic not working properly to not say doesn't respond at all. He just stares blankly at Thanos, feeling powerless and helpless as never before. Thor, who had stood close to Loki is the only one not having turned around, a dazed look on his face. Why does he not attack or use Mjolnir to have his revenge? A presentiment fills Loki with dread.

Before anyone can comment on either fact though, Thanos laughs, pulling the scepter from behind his back. The same blue glowing scepter which once held the Mind stone. Which has been stolen from Vision's body recently. Loki's breath gets caught in his throat at the mere implication of what Thanos could have done. But even as he stares into Thor's eyes, he can see their change. The summer sky blue is gone and only left a pale blue behind which is in no comparison to his previous eye color at all. The same pale blue Loki had seen his double wear, which all the slaves of the scepter had.

'Thor? Thor, you need to fight this.', his voice grows louder as he speaks. 'Thor.', he tries again but Loki still gets no reaction from the blond. He grows more desperate with every single second. He just has to get through to Thor to snap him out of this and together they would fight Thanos. Still, he cannot bring himself to step any closer to his husband. He can't cross the distance he created himself when he stepped back involuntarily from where the voice of Thanos had cut through the silence.

The purple grin grows wider. 'He won't answer you unless I allow it.', Thanos mocks.

'No.', he breathes out. Loki can't move, can't reach out for his husband who is now controlled by the all-powerful scepter. Who looks at Loki without recognition. 'What have you done?' Loki doesn't even recognize his own voice.

Thanos chuckles. 'No one crosses my plans without paying a proper price.'

Loki can only stand by as he walks around Thor to take a closer look at Midgard behind them. None of the Avengers makes a move to defend themselves. Either they are also stunned by his mere appearance as they had never faced the Mad Titan before, or because red blips have shown up all around them, signaling alien hostile forces surrounding the ship. Loki also wouldn't put it past Thanos to have paralyzed them all with some spell but his thoughts only dwell on Thor's petrified form. The once strong and invincible warrior of Asgard is right now no more than a puppet to Thanos. Loki loathes this fact more than anything. This is worse than any other thing Thanos could have done to him. Loki would gladly take whatever punishment the Mad Titan could have concocted for him except for this.

'For now though, you should rejoice. You have a front row seat as my guests of honor.' He spreads his arms as if wanting to encompass all of Midgard. 'You will witness my triumph and be the first to hail me your allegiance.' Thanos turns back to them, a smug grin on his face.

Steve glares outright at him. 'Never. We never bend our knee to an oppressor such as yourself.', he growls. His hands are clenched at his sides in anger like he wants to beat Thanos with his mere hands. Steve apparently shook off the shock by now and had broken the spell because he takes a step in Thanos' direction.

A flick of the scepter throws Steve back so the blond hits the wall. With a gasp the other Avengers see that their Captain doesn't get up again. This breaks the spell Thanos has on them. Tony rushes forward to take a closer look at the crumpled form of Captain America but even from his point Loki can tell he will be alright. They nevertheless step between the Titan and Steve. But just because they move again, doesn't mean they can fight this. Loki by now can make out a few spaceships on their way to Midgard. Thanos somehow manages to suppress his magic even now.

'You are lucky that I have greater plans for the universe.', Thanos says as if he couldn't care less for one person. He watches them all with some kind of calculation and carelessness. 'So I don't have as much time for you all as I would like.', he informs them. 'Son of Asgard, you and your companions may watch me conquering your beloved Midgard.

His dark eyes land on Elena, a smile twists his features. 'Milady.', he addresses her. 'I have heard a lot about the last of your kind. A planet became a wasteland. A plot to kill a high general carried out in perfection. No one ever doubted it was you who killed him, I assume?', he asks without pause. 'What is someone of your reputation doing with these people?'

'Catching a ride.', Elena says without missing a beat. There is a smile on her face which Loki doesn't like at all.

'A survivor.', he notes. 'I have no quarrel with you or your people. I know what it is like to be the last that's left.' Thanos smiles back, his eyes gracing over the Avengers. 'You are welcome though to join me here. My army can always need a great sorceress.'

'Thank you, my Lord, but I fear I have to decline. I am close enough to my destination now, I will find it from here.'

Elena takes some step to the Mad Titan. She looks back at Bruce, a small frown and a lingering sadness on her face which, Loki is sure, there is no trace of when she faces Thanos again.

 _'I am sorry, I can't get captured again.'_ The voice is softly echoing in Loki's mind. There is a heavy sigh accompanying it. And he understands. He truly does. She had been a slave for so long. This isn't even her fight and being offered the chance to elude being taken prisoner, she would of course take it without looking back. Though he had hoped she would stay because of Bruce, this isn't enough yet. Just last week she had said that Bruce doesn't want to accept the bond yet. _'I can't watch any of you getting hurt, I am truly sorry. He controls my powers, I can't take you with me. Forgive me my weakness.'_

'I hope you don't care too greatly about your fellow travelers.', Thanos goads. He plays with his scepter.

'Why would I? They are mortal. Or barely more.', Elena retorts. She bows to him briefly, then, after a wave from Thanos' hand, vanishes in a poof of smoke without a backwards glance.

Thanos seems pleased by the development.

'You are just on time it seems. I have regained the Time Stone hidden on your planet, mortals, as well as the two other Infinity Stones from Asgard and the one from your home. I think I can spare some time to crush your planet as I have crushed Asgard.', Thanos muses, not really caring at all. 'The realm eternal, nothing more than a pile of ash.' The thought makes him grin in triumph. 'You, Avengers, have thwarted my plans once too often.'

With a raise of his hand which is covered by a golden gauntlet, he commands his forces to proceed and destroy Midgard.

'Terra will be mine, as will all the other worlds. A life time spend in my prison will be your punishment for delaying me this long. I will see to your sentences being executed personally. Be honored, not all my prisoners offer me that much satisfaction.', he growls. With a lift of his hand, a dozen guards show up to take the Avengers minus Thor into custody. The blond just stands still and waits for Thanos' orders.

'Your world will be the first of many. See it as an honor. Go with them.', he instructs Loki's husband. Loki barely listens to the words, their effect, however, is devastating. Thor walks over to where Steve still lies on the floor, hoists the soldier up and strides to the door.

Loki tries to catch Thor's eye when he is dragged to the door but it is futile. Together with the others he is taken out of the room and into the cargo hold where they board a ship of Thanos which had docked after the Mad Titan had taken them by surprise. They fly off to Thanos' command ship, the biggest of the fleet which surrounds Midgard.

The guards and Thor bring the Avengers to what has to be the dirtiest and best guarded prison in all the realms and beyond. The hallways are barely illuminated, the walls oppressing on both sides. The Avengers let themselves be let down the corridors. It makes no sense to fight their way out without any weapons and Loki's magic. The room is big enough to host the whole team and they get shoved in. Apparently Thanos wants them all at the same place. Thor walks in first to the end of the cell and puts Steve down not too gently. Loki tries to grab Thor as he turns around to leave the cell again.

'Please, love.', he says quietly to not alarm the guards. 'Wake up, you need to wake up.' Thor attempts to push past him but Loki won't budge. 'I beseech you. Please, see past the Mind Stone.'

With a growl Thor throws him on his back, looming over him for a moment as if seeing if Loki would get up again.

'Please, snap out of it.', Loki pleads but Thor merely stands up again and walks out of the cell, not looking back once. He feels more lost than ever.

xXxXx

Thor walks into the big glass dome that Thanos uses as his throne room. Midgard is clearly visible behind the Mad Titan, filling out most of the horizon. The sun is just rising, it's a spectacle to behold but Thor is blind to that. Mechanical Thor bows to the overlord of Midgard who had summoned him minutes ago. Thor had been walking the halls for days, had watched at least a dozen sunsets and sunrises of the planet below.

'Do you have any idea how long I have been looking for you?', Thanos asks though he expects no answer. Thor knows that that the man had been following him for some time but he makes it sound like it had been much longer. Thanos sits on a throne in the middle of the dome, the chair turns in midair to face Thor. A smile plays around the corner of his mouth. 'I had to search the universe for you. Turns out you were sitting right in front of me.', he comments. The gloved hand strokes his chin. Two slots are empty yet, waiting to hold the Power and the Soul Stone.

He stands up slowly, the chair floats down so that he can step to the ground. He rounds on Thor who stands there and doesn't move. 'You want him, don't you?'

'Yes.' Thor doesn't know why. The strange ravenette draws him in when he shouldn't. Thanos doesn't often make demands, leaving Thor free to wander the halls and watch the supple man all he wants. But he isn't allowed to enter the cell which makes him animated for some reason though he doesn't show it. Something keeps him back.

Thanos nods as if that makes sense after all. 'Tell me, is he pregnant?' It is a rather random question. Thanos looks at him closely. The question would have confused Thor if he still would be able to feel such emotions.

'No.', is Thor's emotionless answer. He doesn't question it. He doesn't even question how he should know it or how he can be so sure despite that the object of his fascination is obviously male. He just knows he would know if a child would grow inside that man.

Thanos clicks his tongue. 'Shame.', he muses and sighs. 'Anyway, it matters little. Not with you two here.' He walks circles around Thor. ' _The two men who were once brothers but are no more will give birth to the one._ ', he quotes airily. 'That's what these witches said.', he states, turning away. 'You understand, I need a queen at my side. But who would be a worthy choice? There is just one. One who is as powerful as I am. Someone worthy to rule at my side. There could only ever be one.' Thanos smiles widely. 'One all must obey, even me. Death.' He whispers the word, says it almost in awe. He had spend a lot of time dwelling on these thoughts. 'But how to get her? An all-powerful entity, hidden somewhere from my view. I searched for her. There were no signs. Until I met the witches who confronted me with the strange riddle. She hadn't been even born yet.' He laughs in delight. 'Death born by not mere mortals but still.' He pauses and walks to the rim of the dome to gaze outside. 'So I knew I still had some time, time to prepare.' He walks to where the dome meets the floor, his hands are clasped behind his back. 'To make her the greatest present one could possibly give a woman. A universe ready to die at her very command.', he smiles widely as he looks at Thor.

When the blond doesn't react in any way, Thanos turns to the throne, drawing up an information window telling him that Midgard had been taken completely and that there had been only minor resistance. Some of the Midgardian threats had vanished though. Thor had offered to hunt them down for Thanos but the Titan refused the request and insisted Thor stayed under his watch. This time Thor keeps quiet. There are greater things to be gained.

'When I first found Loki, I realized he would be my mother in law, eventually. I wanted to offer him a place at our side but he refused, as you well know.' Thanos sighs as if in regret. 'I am sure though, she will appreciate the effort nevertheless. Maybe you will all come to your senses and serve me in my glorious purpose.'

Thanos types in a few commands for his fleet. Thor sees no reason not to serve Thanos, and can't understand why the raven haired man would refuse himself. It seems to be the only logical choice. Maybe he could be persuaded by Thor if given some time alone. His musings end rather quickly. As long as Lord Thanos doesn't command it, he wouldn't get anywhere near the man he calls Loki. The name strikes something in him but his life before the fleet is a blur so Thor isn't too sure.

The Titan waves at the screens to vanish again. 'Well, but as long as you are both here, I might as well help things along.' As if called by invisible force, two guards enter the dome, bowing deeply to their liege. 'Have you prepared everything as I commanded?'

'Yes, my Lord Thanos.', one answers.

'Good. You know what to do.' With that, the Mad Titan turns around with his throne to continue gazing at the latest world he conquered. They are dismissed. They nevertheless bow to his back before withdrawing. The punishment of the intruders and opposers will commence. Thor goes with them.

xXxXx

Days pass without end. It is always dark in here so Loki can only guess how much time has passed. Midgard had fallen though Thanos had chosen to control the humans rather than destroy the planet in whole.

Thor had been a regular visitor, he stalks past the bars of their prison. He isn't part of the guards torturing and goading them but he is a constant feature nevertheless. There isn't one day he doesn't come down to watch them all but there is no trace of recognition on his face. The only way Loki can guess that another day is past is by the two inedible meals and the change of guards. Oh, and of course by one of his friends being dragged out to receive his punishment.

Bruce sits in the corner, shaking violently. The Aether had been used on him to eliminate the gamma rays that have been merging with his blood for the past decade. No one had believed it to be possible to destroy the Hulk. It had taken Thanos no more than a wave of his hand to will reality this way. The lessened energies in his system cause Bruce to experience severe pain at the best of times. His mind had been unstable ever since they got imprisoned here. If that has something to do with the pain or with Elena's flight, he doesn't let on. That he hadn't unleashed the Hulk or had done any other act of defiance ever since their capture is sign enough. Something of the green beast still must be in him though. The calm doctor more than once hits the walls in a fit of rage and anger, sometimes he isn't even able to form the most basic of sentences. It is as if his mind is fluctuating between Hulk and Doctor Banner. To protect his friends, Bruce barely leaves his corner.

Loki lies back against the cold, metal wall. He is tired but doesn't dare to sleep. His magic is restricted though Thanos had left him his shape shifting abilities. It doesn't offer him any advantage anyway. The cold neither bothers him in his Jotun nor in his Asgardian skin.

In the other edge of the room Hawkeye and Black Widow sit in a similar position to himself. They are yet awaiting their punishment. They try to appear detached and superior but Loki can almost hear their heartbeat across the room. After Tony no one had slept anymore.

The food rations are decent enough to not starve them, still Loki willingly surrenders his portion to his friends. This is all his fault. Without Thor recognizing him, being at his side, he doesn't need sustenance.

Placing a hand on his stomach, he knows that isn't quite right. The flutter hadn't been there a few days ago. Only when Loki reaches out with his senses he feels the subtle change. A gaze to his friends tells him that he might not even need to worry about this. Maybe all will be over quickly. Maybe Thanos would see a too big threat in him and just kill Loki.

He aims for a smile when he notices Bruce stare. For once the doctor has his eyes opened and actually sees something beyond himself. His brown eyes glide down to where Loki's hand still rests over his not yet showing belly. Apparently he had fought Hulk back for now.

A crease shows between his eyebrows. 'Are you..?'

Loki nods mechanically. 'I'm pregnant.' He leans back on the wall and closes his eyes. 'Thor and I wanted to try. Didn't think it would work that fast.', he notes bitterly.

Bruce frowns, scooting a little closer. 'After all we've been through? You're a shape shifter. Why didn't you delay this?', he asks. Loki hears the thinly veiled accusation.

Loki sighs. 'To shape shift into having a womb wouldn't have gotten me pregnant. A lot of complicated spells were necessary to enable us to have children. I couldn't just take them back that easily.', he explains. 'And then, with.. with the Infinity Stones, it.. slipped my mind.', Loki finishes. 'There were other things occupying my mind.', he admits. Like the Aether burning him up. Xandar. Asgard.

'It's okay. Just..' Worry creases his forehead. Bruce knows little of Asgardian pregnancies but they must be quite similar to the ones he witnessed.

'I don't know.' The words barely make it past his lips. How should he protect that child growing in him from Thanos? He would use it against Loki. He would threaten it in order to get to Loki. He can't bear to think of any other thing Thanos could possibly do to their child.

He isn't even sure he can keep it. Until now it hadn't been his turn to be tortured and 'punished' but Loki is sure it will come and it won't be easy or nice. He knows he is going to die in this place, Thanos would make sure of that. The image of the blade going through the soft skin of his abdomen had always been lurking right behind his eyelids. Thanos hadn't held back the last time he captured Loki, why should he this time?

'Is it alright?', Bruce asks. Loki makes sure that the others aren't listening in but they are distracted by themselves. Tony is finally asleep, Steve must have fallen asleep right after him in exhaustion.

'I think so.', he whispers, hopes, fears.

Bruce nods, now all business. 'Since when? I mean, how far are you?'

Loki shrugs. 'Maybe three months along. Not far.' Bruce raises his eyebrows. 'Asgardian and Jotun pregnancies go longer than yours.', he informs his friend. Loki looks up at the dark ceiling, then back at Bruce. The walls could have ears. Not that it matters much. Thanos is able to weave powerful magic, if he is interested in Loki's child, Loki won't be able to keep that from him for long.

Bruce silently agrees. It's not that they could do anything. Silence settles over the group. Loki wakes up with a start when a tray of food hits the ground near his head. He must have fallen asleep despite his resolution not to do so. He rubs his eyes in the semi darkness, drinks a little of the disgusting water and goes back to his previous position. No use to waste his strength. The others eat a little of the ration, knowing what will come next. This morning is different though.

Thor comes in, lewdly looking at Loki for a moment before he returns to his task. The ravenette feels like crying. His husband is gone. But that is something he cannot accept this simple. He scrambles to his feet when Thor observes the guards lifting up Barton. He gets shoved to the side but Loki won't be dissuaded. He clings to Thor's shirt and tucks. Without his signature red and the broad smile, he almost doesn't look like the Asgardian Loki married.

'Thor.', Loki tries to gain his attention but the blond merely walks behind the guards. It's the first time Thor had come with the guards to collect one of their own. Apparently Thanos trusts his own magic enough to let Thor torture his friends and not snap out of it.

Thor looks down at him suddenly, something comes to his eyes. His gaze drifts down Loki's body and he turns to his husband, crowding him against the wall. A hand comes to the wall next to Loki's head.

'You need to snap out of it. Look at me, love. I know you can see it.', Loki pleads, trying to remain calm and controlled and not show his fear. Thor's gaze unnerves him, makes him want to shrink away from his beloved. Still, he needs to get through to Thor, to the father of their child. Thor had always wanted children, he needs to know. If he would just know, everything would be alright again.

Thor growls, his hands glide over Loki's body.

Tears choke Loki. 'Please, you need to feel it, love. I know you do.' He tries a smile.

Thor roughly grabs his hips and the back of his neck in a perverted version of his usually affectionate touch. Something burns in the depths of Thor's eyes which Loki hadn't seen before. Cold wraps around Loki's heart, he shrinks away from the blond who is not his husband.

An intrusive hand strokes up the side of his body, settling on his cheek. When Thor's hand passes his stomach, Loki hopes he would feel the flutter, would feel their child moving between them, would overcome the scepter's influence on his mind and break out of it to help his friends and family. The biting kiss that is placed on Loki's neck is telling quite a different story.

The strange glint is still in his eyes when Thor draws back with a smug smile. Loki tries to squirm away but there is no help from anyone and he expects none. 'I want you.' The grin on Thor's face is sharp as is his simple statement. The guards had stopped with Barton at the door, and watch the blond Asgardian now.

Loki shakes his head. This can't be true. 'Thor, please.'

As if by an invisible command, Thor lets go of him with a grin and a leer and goes after the guards, leaving the rest of the Avengers to their own devises. This is the end, Loki thinks. He sinks to the floor. His last effort had been to try and make Thor realize what he is doing, snapping out of it and helping hi friends to escape. The cries of Clint ring in their ears.

Barton barely moves when they carry him back in. He is unconscious finally, he had needed longer to faint than Loki thought. But instead of going out again, the guards turn to the ravenette. His thoughts stop dead. Thanos must still be bored.

Loki cannot move, cannot process. It is time that he suffered and still it takes away his breath that this starts again. For months Thanos and the Other had tortured him, had strapped him to a table and pierced his skin, stabbed him, burned him, stripped him of his personality and skin and replaced him with something else. At the time he could bear his cross with some dignity left, had been able to comfort himself with the thought of his husband and his homeworld.

He had a crying fit when the guards had carried back an unconscious Tony, Loki had to stifle it. From then on, each time the doors opened, he was sure they were coming for him. He hadn't been able to close his eyes anymore without seeing that white sterile room, the instruments of torture, his own blood flowing down his body, dripping on the white ground.

He might have been able to face Thanos with a snarl and a scowl in the past, now Loki doesn't think he will be able to stand or only crawl. Fear is paralyzing his limbs and mind. Years of nightmares had left their own scars apart from the ones still littering his body. Thor had to wrangle him down often enough after nightmares of the other, of falling into the void. Finally Loki had been able to overcome it all only to be suddenly tossed back into it all. He could cry from despair and frustration. It is impossible. He can't go through this again. Not even for Thor.

Loki shakes the whole way to wherever the guards take him.

He can barely hold onto himself. Tears threaten to spill over but somehow they don't. His stomach rebels though Loki hadn't eaten anything for a day or two. He wants to throw up. Loki wants to fight, wants to claw their eyes out, wants to hurt them but fear paralyzes him, it makes his voice unable to leave his throat. Thanos would see at once how weak Loki had become. This time, Loki is sure, there would be no breaking. He is already.

They drag him down some corridors until they reach a small room. There the guards strip him of his clothes. He trembles all the time. He doesn't fight them though, just keeps still and forces himself not to break down in front of them all. It is hard enough as it is. He feels already as vulnerable as possible.

Next thing Loki knows the two guards shove him into an adjacent room. Loki falls to his knees when his support is suddenly gone. He already expects hands to reach for him to draw him up to a table and strap him there but nothing comes. The cold air bothers him not really, still Loki shivers violently and can't stop now. The floor is made of metal as well but not as white as the torture room in the Sanctuary. When nothing happens, Loki looks up, panic still constricting hi throat. The guards wait in the door, blocking the only exit. They don't look at him though but above his head.

It takes some time but eventually Loki can make himself look up to find, not a table, but a bed. The shaking gets worse when he sees who sits in it waiting with a sharp smile.

This is worse than any torture.

He is lounging on the bedding, stark naked as the day he was born. He looks down with glee and lust at Loki kneeling in front of the bed. His cock stands tall between his spread legs. With a jerk of his head he instructs the guards to get Loki on the bed when he makes no move. They shove him not to gently to the foot of the bed. Loki lies on his stomach and doesn't dare to move more than his head. This can't be happening. Not his beloved. Not Thor. Tears spill over when Loki raises his head, hoping beyond hope that he was mistaken and this is not his reality. Of course he has no such luck. Thor smiles that sick twisted smile again. Loki pleads with his eyes, Thor has to recognize him, has to snap out of this, kill the guards and bring Loki to a place far away. But the blond merely tilts his head.

'Suck.'

The sound of the door snapping shut behind him is barely audible over the pounding of his blood.

xXxXxXx

 **Title inspiration: Doctor Who. The idea I had mentioned (oh, some months back) was that of Thanos courting Death (as in the comics) but Death being represented by Hela, daughter of Loki (as not in the comics but possibly in the movies, I haven't seen Ragnarok yet, so don't spoiler me yet). I haven't read this anywhere yet but quite possible I'm not the only one thinking along these lines.**

 **So, er, sorry for this chapter? Really sorry this time.  
**


	69. Chapter 66 Love's Labour's Lost

Love's Labor's Lost

 _Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,  
_ _Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.  
William Shakespeare, Love's Labour's Lost _

Tony draws himself up from his position on the wall, forcing his breath to even out a bit. His heart had never been the best but now it is threatening to give out. How he is still breathing at all, he can't figure out. Why he bothers, is another mystery entirely.

He is in a stupor ever since Thanos' guards had led him outside. He had been prepared for physical torture, for something to strengthen his resolve in fighting the alien. But instead of being taken to the torture chamber, the guards went to the throne room of Thanos. Tony's stomach dropped at the sight that met him. _'I take it you recognize them?'_ , Thanos had asked him mockingly while Tony stared at a frightened beyond words Pepper. She had been restrained alongside Happy. Tony's knees threatened to buckle but somehow he kept himself upright. His scream though when Thanos killed them must have been heard through the whole ship. Unable to help them, Tony had to watch his friends suffer and die. His own fate had been of no consequence anymore. He had failed, a worse feeling there isn't.

The Time Stone had aged him up even more. Had taken him what little health he had left. Now he can't do more than struggle to stay alive, being only a burden to Steve who hadn't left his side except once when he came back with some of the worst wounds he had seen the soldier sporting. Apparently though they hadn't touched Steve too harsh because his wounds were healed rather quickly. Super soldier metabolism. What wouldn't Tony give now for a little extra help. He is just a man in a tin can after all. He never wanted to fight stupid aliens and deal with magical stones who can just change the whole universe with a finger snap. He had never wanted to jeopardize his friends' lives. He takes it upon himself to keep their legacy alive and remember them, swearing their deaths would be avenged. The first two nights he hadn't cared for anything but the dull pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his failing heart, all will of life was lost but Steve had pulled him back somehow, endlessly talking about his lost friend Bucky after Tony had finally been able to tell him what happened.

When Loki is dragged in, his heart stops beating for a few moments but that has nothing to do with Thanos. There are already dark bruises blooming on his face. Copious amounts of blood are on his lithe figure, some deep cuts and bruises all over his body. Tony fancies they have the shape of hands.

The guards toss him to the ground from where he doesn't stand up anymore. Loki doesn't even move anymore, just lies in a crumbled heap on the floor. A shiver goes through him occasionally. His clothes lie next to him, the guards had brought them with him into the cell but Loki doesn't make a move.

'Loki.' Tony's voice is thick and hoarse because none of them had spoken in quite some time. It's the voice of an old man. He attempts to stand up only to fall right back to the ground. Steve eventually helps himself up and sits him further towards Loki. None of the others dare yet to approach him.

'Loki, what happened?'

Loki merely shakes his head, face still turned to the floor and stays down.

Clint signs him something. They had taken his hearing aids as one of the first things. Tony shakes his head with a shrug. No, he hadn't told them anything yet. Fortunately Tony had met some pretty hot chick back in the day who had been a translator for deaf people. Thanks to that and a photographic memory Clint now isn't left out completely.

His eye is still swollen shut and the cuts barely begin to heal but they all just for a moment forget the torture done to them to take care of their friend.

Loki doesn't need to tell them though. Bruce had been the only one close enough to hear Thor's words but his actions had been unmistakable. Tony doesn't kid himself that the psychological wounds inflicted are even worse than the physical ones.

He leans over to gently touch Loki's shoulder to comfort his friend in any way he can.

A growl is torn from Loki's throat. 'Let it be, Stark.', he snarls through his teeth. Some more blood trickles out of his wounds. 'I am alright.'

Tony heavily doubts that but he nevertheless withdraws his hand, not wanting to put him through more pain or the memory. The ravenette continues to shake for some time until he finally manages to sit up next to Tony who hadn't moved away again. Loki sighs heavily and draws his knees up to his chest. The offered food they had kept for the ravenette is declined with a shake of his head. Tony also feels like throwing up. Being hurt is one thing but having one's husband controlled and then have that husband.. He can't even think about it. Instead, he puts the blanket he had taken with him over Loki's shoulders. He is glad that the Asgardian accepts it.

'You want to talk about it?', Tony asks with as much sensitivity as he can. He feels like he is going to be sick just thinking about the implications. Loki shakes his head again, sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, huddling deeper into the blanket.

'Just leave it, Stark.', he hisses. They offer him some water which Loki gladly accepts. Tony just sits next to him and tries to give him some silent comfort. That Thanos had brought Thor to his side by using the Mind Stone, is the worst thing that could have happened to them. Loki had hoped the blond would snap out of it, a hope that had apparently been shattered. Tony had also hoped that their only chance out here would at least react to his husband being pregnant. He can barely tear his eyes from the dark bruises on Loki's hips and arms that are still visible. They rapidly spread over the milky white skin.

'Nothing good.', Tony signs back in an unobtrusive manner.

Loki flinches when Tony puts his arm around his shoulder, then accepts the comfort. He leans his head on Tony's shoulder, closes his eyes and sighs.

This will be their life. Tony just has to accept that. Thanos will torture them, will tear them apart bit by bit, will turn them against each other. Bruce is cowering in the far side of the cell, further away from any of them. He hadn't stopped with that ever since Loki had quietly announced the big news which had turned into a terrible burden. Thanos toyed with his mind after he grew bored of Barton. Having the Infinity Stones used against them, how could they continue to fight? It is indeed hopeless. Tony closes his eyes, resting his head against the cold wall behind. His whole body hurts, he can barely concentrate on anything for a longer period of time.

When the whispered admittance comes, it is almost too quiet so Tony almost misses it. Loki still has his head between his knees, sitting there looking utterly defeated.

'There is a way out.'

xXx

'Suck.' The door falls shut behind Loki, the sound worse than the lock of the bars clinging shut in the cell, worse than Bruce's yells when he sleeps, worse than Tony's helpless sobs.

He can't look up at Thor, can't bear to see his face twisted in sick pleasure. He feels like the might throw up. The first tear streams down Loki's cheeks though he tries to be strong, to not let Thanos know how much this truly hurts him, however, that might be pointless.

He screws his eyes shut, concentrating on each good memory he has of Thor while Loki did this for him, telling himself that this is still his husband, anything that would make this more bearable. Loki can't stop the sob though when he feels a hand on the back of his head when he leans in. For the first time in his life he wants to die. How could he ever see Thor as his doting husband after this, should they manage to break free from here? The hand gently tugs at his hair.

'Loki.'

This sounds strange, it's not quite a murmur but a strangled sound. Loki notices that the hand is pulling him up instead of pushing him down. Thor had sat up further and isn't lounging on the bed anymore. The same strangled voice continues its plea. 'Beloved.'

Finally Loki looks up to find a heartbroken Thor gazing down at him, terror in his eyes and fear in his heart. Loki can't do anything more than stare up at his beloved husband.

'I am sorry, love, so sorry.', Thor pleads. 'Come here.' Sobs spill now from Loki's lips as he breaks down completely. When Thor assists him to lie down on the bed, he flinches away from the contact before craving and fearing it at the same time. Thor apologizes immediately and withdraws his hands entirely, afraid to touch Loki and do any more harm or scare him further. He wants to show the ravenette his good intentions. Loki cringes and rolls himself into a ball when his whole body is on the bed and his head rests on a pillow. Thor lies down behind him to protect his husband from anyone who might enter. All the tension of the past minutes seeps out of Loki who tries to regain some control and fails miserably. He cannot stop the flinch when Thor touches his naked back. What could have happened, how he would have seen Thor? Relief courses through him but also helplessness. He only now realizes the situation in which he had been mere seconds ago wholly. Loki barely notices the cold in the room until Thor drapes a blanket over him.

'Shush, love. Rest. It's alright, I am going to protect you. I won't ever hurt you.' Thor's hand hovers over Loki's arm as if to touch him, to comfort him, but he doesn't. He merely allows Loki to cry for what feels like hours, offering words of comfort and sorrow.

'I am sorry, my love, but there was no other way, Loki. Thanos wanted to force me to do this, I had to make him believe I would..' He doesn't even finish the sentence. 'I am so terribly sorry. I would never force you, please.' Loki doubts he knows what he is pleading for. They have both been played. Eventually half way through Thor's rambling, Loki turns around to face his husband. Tears still cloud his vision but he doesn't feel like breaking apart anymore. He had been so afraid but now at least a part of the tension drained. Thor looks even more heartbroken than mere minutes ago before Loki had turned away from him to gather himself. Loki reaches up and traces Thor's cheek with his fingers, then takes Thor's hand to place it on his own shoulder. The blond seems a little relieved and hugs Loki to his chest, pressing their foreheads together.

'Why did Thanos insist on this?', he asks to distract himself a little. He could have just went on where they left off more than three years ago. Why would he insist on this kind of punishment when alone the thought of torture had been enough to break the ravenette and risk Thor snapping out of this delirium or Loki managing to overpower his husband? Thor still hovers uncertainly over him until Loki takes a hold of one of his hand and pulls it to his wet cheek, leaning into the touch while letting his eyes close. The warmth and comfort that seep into his skin from the contact still the tears further.

Thor seems to hesitate. 'Our child.', he finally presses out through gritted teeth. He patiently waits for Thor to continue because the whole matter mystifies and terrifies him. What would their child have anything to do with this? Did Thanos already find out?

Loki frowns deeply when Thor relates the story of how Thanos wants their first child as his mate and the whole odd conversation he had had to listen to days ago. Loki's hand has been ghosting unconsciously over his still flat stomach. Surely Thor must have misunderstood something but Thanos' actions speak for this. Why would Thanos tell him of this all though? Why not simply take what he considers his? Loki is surprised by how detached he feels from the whole situation. There must be more to this but he can't think about that for now.

'You didn't tell him.', Loki states. Otherwise this whole situation would have never come at hand.

'Oh, Loki.' Thor's hands itch to touch the ravenette and feel the life moving in him again. As the fertility god he can sense their child already developing in him though there is no bump yet. 'I won't let anyone touch you, love. Nor our child. You brought me out of it.' Loki kisses his palm, then guides it down to where the magic took root in him. Is this how it is supposed to feel?, he wonders briefly before pushing such thoughts aside.

Loki looks up at him. 'Did she?' There is no reason not to assume that the child is indeed a girl. There had to be something about the prophecy making him believe it is true. Their first born, destined to be apart from life?

Thor smiles, his gaze returns to Loki's face. 'Yes, she did. In the cell, when I felt her move inside you..' His eyes turn sad. 'I am sorry for what I have done to you. Did I-?', he leaves the question unfinished.

He shakes his head vehemently. 'You didn't hurt any of us.' He stopped though the psychological wounds already had been inflicted but he won't tell Thor about that yet. He feels guilty enough as it is.

Thor nods in thought. 'Still, you had to get through this alone. What I had to make you think about me..' He briefly closes his eyes to recollect his thoughts. 'I will protect you and our child with my every breath.', he vows, one hand on Loki's cheek, the other on his stomach. Loki is still amazed that they managed to create this wonder. During all the hardships of the past years it had taken place without any of them noticing. He doesn't know how to feel just yet with the current developments.

'I know.', he whispers back. 'But you can't let Thanos know.'

Thor nods. Loki is very impressed that his straight forward brother had managed to lie about this, to fool not only him but also the most powerful being in the universe as of this moment. This is very unlike the Thor of their youths who couldn't keep a secret should his life depend on it. In all the two centuries of their clandestine romance Loki had feared that Thor could eventually let something slip. As it turns out, he needn't have worried after all.

'He doesn't know and I will play my part.' A little frown appears on his face. 'Even if that means tossing you back into the prison cells.' He takes a deep breath and sighs. They both know that this is necessary.

Loki nods. 'That won't be enough. If he wants us to have children..'

Thor's head snaps up so his gaze meets Loki's, probably getting what Loki is implying. 'He trusts my word. And I told him you weren't pregnant yet. It could take time.' A normal waiting time for an Asgardian child is after all a few years. Why hurry when there are centuries ahead? 'Until you show I will have us out of here.', Thor insists.

How he attempts to do that is going to remain his secret for a little while longer. 'That's not what I meant. Thor, he will realize something is off when I walk out of here.', Loki reasons. His thoughts are suddenly very clear, his mind already making up a plan to fool the Titan to protect everyone involved.

'He is not watching us. He was. That's why.. I-' He restrains himself from asking for forgiveness yet again. It had been necessary. Loki's breakdown had nothing to do with a little word and what it triggered. 'He was very pleased and left us to our devises the moment he was sure we would lie together.', Thor explains, begging Loki to understand.

'But you were ruff. You did not ask me to lie with you, did not do anything to alleviate my discomfort. Thanos wanted this to be a punishment.' Loki hesitates for only a split second. 'You wanted it to be a punishment.'

'Loki..'

'No, I understand. Don't.' He can't hear Thor continuing to apologize for something that was to save them all three. 'But that was what Thanos expected from you. To torture me, to break me. He won't accept anything less than that. In your controlled state you wouldn't have asked or been gentle.'

Thor attempts to interrupt him but Loki places a finger on his lips to stop him. His husband might be gentle and loving and caring but he also has a darker side which the scepter brought out more dominantly. Thor wouldn't have slept with him, he would have conquered him. And with like any foe, delighted in his pain and misery.

'So, we have to show him that you are still a good little minion.'

Thor shakes his head, misery is written all over his face. He leans down to press their foreheads together. 'I won't hurt you, love.', he whispers hoarsely. Loki's lips touch his only barely.

'To keep the child and me safe, it has to look like I clearly broke in here.', Loki continues as if Thor had said nothing. It is necessary or Thor would get locked up with the rest of the team and they would lose their last chance at freedom. Or Thanos would merely decide to punish Loki on his own accord which would maybe end up in a miscarriage. They both know this, still Thor fights the implications.

Thor's hands wander to Loki's shoulders, stroking the skin through the blanket. 'I can't. That's not how I want us to be.' That is not what either of them imagined their first shared moments to be like after Loki got pregnant. The blond again shakes his head. The very idea abhors Loki as well but there is no other way.

'It has to be.', he whispers against Thor's lips. Loki takes the hand from his shoulder and slips it underneath the blanket to his hip. 'And we will always know how this came to pass. Besides,', he smiles weakly, 'I will have centuries to make up for this.' Loki tries to laugh to lighten their mood. He leans in to let Thor kiss him, he immediately licks at the lips of the blond who is still torn between protecting and not wanting to hurt Loki and the baby. Loki knows though what he prefers and kisses Thor deeply.

He barely flinches when Thor tightens his grip and bruises his skin.

xXx

'There is a way out.', Loki whispers, his head between his knees to signal, whoever might be watching, his defeat. He doesn't dare speak any louder out of fear for listeners. Tony has a good poker face, that much Loki still knows about his friend. He knows also that Thanos will watch him now and that any indication to the truth might be the last. They need to get out of here before any more happens.

The Avengers are shadows of their former selves. Loki isn't sure that it is not indeed already too late to fight this war with them. Tony's breathing is loud enough to be audible through the whole cell while the spaceship is on the move and the engines are roaring. Clint hasn't gotten up once since they dragged him out though the minions of Thanos would have never caused enough harm to kill him or harm him permanently. Bruce is an utter mess with his mind torn in half. Steve is the only one still standing and that might change with every minute as well. Natasha tries not to show fear or exhaustion but her trembling becomes more prominent with each passing day. She never talks about what Thanos does to her. She rarely speaks at all these days.

They had been the best fighting team in the universe, maybe apart from the Guardians. Now, anything that would keep up the morale would be welcome and necessary to keep them alive.

Tony sighs deeply, resting a hand on Loki's back. He had wrapped a blanket around Loki's naked body to cover him from the guards and the cold. 'Fuck.', he curses under his breath as if just getting a confirmation of his own worries. The others don't pick up on it, just waiting for Tony to relate the story or for Loki to start telling them exactly how screwed they really are.

Somewhen after an eternity Loki feels Thanos' view shift from them. 'Thor's on our side.' The words fall heavy to the floor like they are dripping from his lips. They have to start believing again, that is the most important part.

Tony freezes for a short moment. 'But..' Tony's gaze focuses on Loki's injuries.

'Cover.', Loki states matter of fact. 'Thanos doesn't know that the Guardians are coming. They might be our only hope.'

'And how are we going to do that?', Tony mutters back. He slumps down next to Loki so they can whisper in peace. The ravenette can tell that Thanos is done watching his misery for now. There is a planet to rule and enslave after all. What are some minutes of respite for his prisoners? There is a lifetime of horror for them in store still. At least for Thor and Loki that is his plan. For their daughter to be born and have a family, they will be kept alive, though in what condition Loki doesn't want to think about.

'Thor will. He cannot summon Mjolnir without giving everything away though. Even with it he wouldn't get us out of here without risking all of our lives and the galaxy as well.' So they would have to wait for their distant friends to come and save them.

Tony frowns slightly, worry is clear on his face. 'The Power Stone..', he mumbles.

Loki nods weakly. 'Thanos wants it. He knows his attack on Xandar failed but with any luck he knows nothing of our plans with Nova-Prime. He thinks his force is safe here which might not be the most ridiculous assumption. Neither the Nova Empire nor the Kree will get involved as long as none of their bases are attacked. He knows that and he knows that we know.', Loki explains.

'So we can use it.'

'It won't be of much use but without him having it we can flee and his access to us will be limited.' When Tony's face lightens he knows he had caught up. Without the Power Stone Thanos wouldn't be able to change the reality on a big scale and just magic it into his hands or kill the Avengers should they manage to get enough distance between themselves and Thanos. He might have the Tesseract but maybe Loki could make them invisible long enough for him to lose their track.

Thanos wouldn't dare use the Time Stone to trace them, not on such a big scale. The effects on the universe could be devastating. He wouldn't risk killing them before Loki gave birth to his queen. With this revelation he had given thema weapon that could prove more useful than any Infinity Stone. Where he had found the Time Stone is a mystery to Loki. Thanos had claimed to have found it on Midgard with some sorcerers of some sort. He hadn't encountered any o Midgard though and the others had never mentioned Midgard still held onto magic.

Apart from that, there is no planet that Thanos calls his home they could destroy, no secret fountain of his powers to pulverize. They wouldn't be able to use the Power Stone to their advantage.

Tony nods.

xXxXx

Thanos looks down at his new subjects. He smiles as he watches his complete armada gather in the orbit of Terra. The universe would tremble before him and the people down there would be the first in his new order. Not for long though, a few generations in servitude would be all he could do to them for now.

His queen would be most pleased with this.

He smiles. Thor had come to him this morning to report on his progress. His hammer is locked away behind the strongest shields. No reason to risk the big brute regain his consciousness and steal it to free his wretched husband and friends.

Not long anymore before his plan will fully unfold. A galaxy would die in honor of his lady so they could be together for the rest of eternity. She would love his courting present, would have no other choice but to accept him. Thanos, the most powerful being of the universe. All could be great.

If not for the mewling bastard in the dungeons.

Thanos turns away from the Asgardian waiting for his command. He had reveled in the pain caused to his enemy. Loki had looked nothing short of broken. What torture hadn't been able to accomplish in months, Thor had made possible in less than one session. He had wanted to enjoy every second of the Jotun whore's agony but having to command an army can be highly time consuming. He consoles himself with the knowledge that he would enjoy seeing him being torn apart with each day to come for at least a whole Terran year. He wouldn't risk letting his enemies live after he got what he wants. Loki would die the second he gave birth to Thanos' queen.

'There is no such a thing to behold as a sunrise in space.', Thanos says. 'Have you completed your task?', he asks just as conversationally. There is a smug smile on Thor's face despite a negative answer.

'Make sure he does not do anything to prevent a pregnancy.' He is a skilled sorcerer after all, it would not do to underestimate him like the Titans had underestimated Thanos when they banished him. Long time it had been his plan to conquer Titan and rule it himself. He had been raised as the first son of the ruler, was meant to take that place once he was a grown man. But waiting for his old father to finally step down was a little bit too slow a path for Thanos to tread. Why not spread the superiority of their race to other planets? Why hide on Titan and not use all their knowledge to gain more? He began creating weapons to usurp the throne, to gain control over Titan but he was found out. His own father banished him for his realization that there are only lower life forms out there.

In his exile Thanos had time to grow, to realize that his people always had only held him back. It had been worth the wait to see his homeworld burn. They didn't deserve any better. They had cast him out when all he had wanted was lead them into greatness. Well, they had gotten what they deserved.

'Yes, Lord Thanos.', Thor replies. Thanos could easily control it himself but why bother? Thor could see to that task as well and more efficiently. Maybe the Titan would keep him after all. His queen might even grow fond of her father. He had given Loki after all every chance to join him in his quest, to show him that his side was the right to take but even Thanos' patience wears thin somewhen.

'Good. Terra is almost completely under my control. There is just the occasional rebel standing in my way now. They will be eliminated in no time. Then my forces will return to the Nova Empire and I will rule them with these.' He raises his left hand with the Gauntlet. Four stones gleam in the light of the rising sun. The scepter had been convenient but for easier access he decided to put the Mind Stone to his brothers. The Gauntlet works perfectly. Power rushes through Thanos. Only the Power and the Soul Stone are missing to complete his mission of universal dominance. All is well.

xXxXxXx

 **o.o Where do all these favorites and follows suddenly come from? Thanks a lot guys, I am quite stunned by this. :3 Now I feel even worse for being late with my update.**

 **But yeah, out of given reasons, can we all just take a moment to acknowledge how great Thor Ragnarok was? :D I won't spoiler you, no worries there (though I was worried but the story will take quite a different turn than mine). Though, I am honest, I had to see it twice to get into my fangirl mood. Nevertheless, I think it could be one of the best Marvel movies there is (I am currently trying to decide if my favorite is IM, GotG or Ragnarok now cause they are all great) or actually the best so far. Hmm.**

 **So, what did you think? (Of the chapter/story I mean of course :P )**


	70. Chapter 67 Silver And Red

Silver And Red

 _Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.  
Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.  
Shel Silverstein _

The days get colder or maybe it's just Tony. At least it must be one of those because he sits in a corner of the room and shivers violently. Not even the blankets over his shoulders help with that. Steve had already given him his blanket to keep Tony warm though he could use it himself from what Tony can see. Steve sits close to him, cuts and bruises litter his usually milk white skin.

His throat is parched but he doesn't want Steve to jump up and hurt himself further. He only just returned from Thanos some hours ago and tries to regain some of his strength by sleeping. The food had not come today for some reason. Steve's eyes are scrunched shut in his light sleep, his breathing heavy and uneven. Enough people had suffered for him. Tony has to make a conscious effort to keep Happy and Pepper from his mind. Damn. There is little else to do in this cell than think about exactly how this is all his fault, to replay each moment in his mind until it is only a jumble of emotions and self hatred.

Loki had promised them a rescue but if the Guardians would take any longer, there would be no Avengers left to safe though the ravenette doesn't want to know a thing about that. Tony has eyes and he had also been in captivity for some time. The Ten Rings had not tortured him like this if only because they wanted Tony to build the Jericho for them, still he knows how things progress from here. The team morale is practically nonexistent anymore because no one has the strength to rage. Steve is being tortured and it's a small miracle Thanos didn't take away his super soldier body yet. Though judging by the screams they had heard, Steve wouldn't agree that this is such a good thing. Bruce is lying in his separate corner, shaking even more than Tony but he is bathed in sweat and rocks gently. Tasha stares straight ahead and hadn't said a word in the last week. Tony knows about her past and the look she gets whenever she talks about it and this is it. She is caught in her worst memories though what the Titan did to make her like this, to break her, none of them can guess. If Natasha would be any use in a fight or if she could even find it in her to walk out of here, Tony can't judge. Clint is a little better, maybe because Thanos underestimates him and that's an advantage. Loki looks even worse than he did that first night. The guards have to drag him out every other night. Not even Tony would guess that Thor is again himself by looking at the ravenette. Some days Tony thinks Loki just lied to make it easier for them or himself.

They had left him alone after the last 'treatment'. He thought he knows what it feels like to die but this is worse than any Palladium poisoning and any open heart surgery. All these times he had known, with a little more time he could fix the problem. He had thought that there would be a solution but for this, there is none. Tony is dying. His time is running out. He is old. The others think that this is the reason he wakes up screaming whenever his body fails him and he drifts off to sleep.

Thanos had thought that the greatest punishment for Tony. He had watched Earth and had come up with the great idea that Tony is afraid of growing old, alone and without any of his old friends at his side. Killing his friends hadn't been enough. Well, after the past week or two, who could tell in this place, Tony thinks he might be right. Thanos had used the Time Stone to not only age Tony up but let him live his last few days. And exactly when Tony had thought about giving up, that his heart would simply give out, the aliens had dragged him out and deaged him by a few days so he would have to live through the last five days of his life again and again, would be in a constant state of dying with no relieving end in sight. So, yes, maybe he is afraid of dying. The pain of his loss and the physical hurt mix into an agonizing cacophony of torture.

It must be night out there for the people of New York. If the city even exists anymore. Thanos had shown him some days ago. The thousands of spaceships in orbit are a thing to behold, as are the screams of the people on Earth. Most major cities had already fallen and there is only little resistance. Tony had spotted a familiar looking surgeon from the hospital fighting alongside Wanda and a guy with an Exoskeleton. The heroes of the East Coast had assembled and are fighting the hordes of Thanos with less than little success. There hadn't been many deaths though, most people had just given up with SHIELD gone and the Avengers far away. They had given up hope. As has Tony.

Tony coughs at the dryness of the air. Maybe there is something trying to choke him in it? Steve stirs in his sleep and wakes up.

'I will get you some water.', the blond says decidedly. His voice is thick, something in his throat must have started to swell while he slept, cutting off a part of his air ways.

'Sit down.', Tony complains though he knows it doesn't matter. Steve is already on his feet and drags himself to the water bucket. He gets a cup for himself, then refills it and carries it to Tony who accepts it gladly. 'Thank you.', he whispers. After all, he is glad that they weren't separated at least even if that means having to listen to the screams of his friends. He can't help it but not wanting to be alone. Like this, he knows he is not alone. Not yet. Steve had been the only thing getting through to him after Thanos had killed Pep and Happy.

Steve nods and sits back down to lean his head against the wall. 'We need to get out of here.', he whispers. It doesn't matter who hears him anyway. It's no secret none of them wants to stay here. His voice is still pressed and battered.

'I know.', Tony says. Oh, how he knows. Idly a part of his mind wonders if it is not already too late.

'I don't know how long we can all make this.' Steve is prepared to make a run for it. It had been their greatest fear that Steve would insist on fighting but he surprisingly had agreed to their plan of fleeing at the first possibility. He tries to keep himself prepared in every moment. Tony would be too weak to be of much help, Bruce might be able to take care of himself, and Steve, no matter his injuries, would have to carry Natasha out of here. Loki would be responsible for protecting them while Thor organizes it all.

Tony gets a headache just thinking about it. Thunderhead being responsible for this plan to work when the problems are already in the variables, when they are already so damaged, it is all just insane. Everything could go wrong and it probably will. At least that might mean he could die and won't drag any of them down with him. That's the least Tony can do for his friends. This won't work, everyone knows it but it is the only thing keeping them all going.

Tony drinks the cool water. It tastes stale and is possibly poisoned but he is too thirsty to care about minor technicalities. If the Guardians don't come, Thanos wouldn't let him die this easily.

Tony sighs. Maybe it is all pointless anyway. The Nova Core will have realized by now that Thanos is in this part of the universe and will have warned Quill and his companions to not come here. And who could judge them? They would risk a fate worse than death for trying to rescue them and that is only if Thor manages to warn them without anyone noticing. The far likelier scenario is that Thanos will either know they are coming and will wait for them before they have a chance to flee or they will fly right into his fleet and will get destroyed in an instant.

Either way, Thanos would gain the Power Stone and with it the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. Tony had not seen it in action first hand but he believes the Guardians' story about it being able to destroy everything made out of organic matter which is, on Earth, practically everything, and that within seconds. Tony's home could look even worse than Elena's remote planet. Then not even a tenth of a thousandth would survive as had the Asgardian people. He doesn't know which fate would be worse, being ruled for a few generations by the Mad Titan, enslaved and robbed of every joy before dying along with the rest of the galaxy, or die a painless and mercifully quick death. For himself he had found that he would always fight to break the bonds holding him back but in this case there would be nothing to look forward to. Even if they could save Earth, it is just a matter of time for that alien scum to come up with a new plan. Or just wish them to never be born. As long as Thanos wields the Infinity Stones, there would be no stopping him. They could destroy his army and he would simply use that glove of his to create a new one or just flat out kill them.

Why he hadn't simply magicked the missing two stones into his hands, Tony cannot fathom but it is probably misplaced villainous pride. He wants to gather them himself, feel like he earned having them before slaying the universe for Reindeer Games and Point Break's kid. So that is the only plus side on that villain.

So, yep, the whole situation is fucked up, no other way of putting it, no matter how often Spangles reprimands him to not curse anymore.

'Steve, sit down.', he scolds the blond when he stands up again.

Steve doesn't answer him or shows with any cell of his body to have even heard him, and just takes the cup from Tony, the only they have, and heaves himself up again. He walks over to the water bucket and refills the cup to offer it up to Bruce who can't even sit up on his own. Usually the brunette would curl up on his own like now. Just when he thinks everyone is asleep does he dare to leave his corner to sit down next to Tony or Loki or whoever would be awake to get some much needed sleep or just sit in peace. He doesn't talk since the Hulk had been taken from him but if that is the reason, is anyone's guess.

Elena could have been a valuable asset but she had chosen to abandon her new found friends and lover in favor of not having to rot in a prison so Tony cannot think too bad of her. He pities Bruce though. The other scientist had been the greatest threat after Thor so he had been taken out as the very first. There is still a part of his brain that works like Hulk's used to and that part is slowly but surely driving the calm man insane. That is nothing that could be fixed with a snap of one's fingers.

What is he even thinking about? The Avengers wouldn't die in here. They are already dead.

xXxXx

Loki wakes up on the floor of the cold metal cell. He notices that a part of the arm he slept on, turned blue. Loki sits up to put some distance between himself and the floor only to be confronted with the sharp pain of the sudden move. He hisses, still trying to keep quiet to not wake the others. They are just as hurt, the only difference is that not their lover has to injure them. Thor looks more guilty with each time he renews the bruises on Loki's skin though that is what is necessary to keep him, Thor and their child alive and more or less safe. As long as Thanos thinks that Thor hurt him bad enough, he doesn't touch the ravenette.

Looking up confirms that Bruce is watching him intently. His eyes shimmer green in the light that comes in from the small window in the door. Apart from that the room is dipped in absolute darkness. And ice cold. It isn't just the floor but the very air that seems to be frozen. Loki frowns. What is the Titan trying, freeze his friends to death? He glances over to Clint who is hurdled in Loki's blanket together with Natasha. Their teeth are chattering even in their sleep.

Not paying any more mind to his hurts and petty pains, Loki stands up. He must appear defeated under all circumstances but he won't watch his friends die right in front of him.

Loki hammers against the door when he can't spot a guard outside in the corridor. Where should the Avengers flee to anyway? Guards just mean more blood and pain. Thanos had thought it a great idea to break the team by making them listen to their friends suffering. It had been harder than feeling the pain himself.

No one answers to his calls. Actually, the corridor seems too deserted to be purposefully this way. The normal lights aren't turned on either but the emergency lights. Is Thanos under attack? If yes, by whom? Who could pose such a threat that guarding his favorite prisoners became too mundane a task? Loki can hear nothing from outside and hadn't felt any movement of the ship that would indicate a fight or even that the ship is moving.

Loki looks back to where his friends are yet asleep despite the biting cold. They are hurdled together, subconsciously trying to warm themselves with the blankets and each other. Little puffs of breath indicate that the temperature drop isn't inconsequential.

Bruce tosses his blanket to the side and stands up, walking over to him. The doctor might be cured of the gamma rays transforming him into a big green rage monster that could smash them a way out of here, but there still must be some rest radiation left because Loki can feel the heat radiating from him. The corridor remains silent.

'Maybe there is a breach in the hull.', Loki muses out loud just to have to do something. His gaze drops to their water supply. A thin layer of ice is already starting to coat the smooth surface of the water. He takes a moment to make sure that it is not himself creating the external cold and is freezing his friends because of something in his subconsciousness which would be fatal. But no, Loki's body merely reacts to the changed environment, making sure he isn't getting cold.

Loki looks at Bruce who stares at him exasperatedly. A breach would explain the sudden cold but not that the atmosphere seems stable enough, the brown eyes seem to tell him. So that idea isn't worth a damn. It's outright stupid as Loki knows himself. The emergency lights from outside make Bruce's eyes the color of green they had whenever he transformed.

Loki tries to get his head through the bars to see better. The guards definitely left and aren't sleeping just underneath the window of the cell. Is this Thor's sign? Is this the sign that everything went awry? And what is he supposed to do if it is?

The ravenette places a hand on his lower abdomen, calmed by the mere presence of the flutter he had first felt a few weeks before. After Odin's death he had thought he felt something but had been too numbed to pursue the feeling, a fatal error as it proved to be. He strokes the skin under his shirt, hoping his child would be soothed by the gesture. It doesn't matter if Thanos knows of this now or if he doesn't. It would take him but one close examination to know that there is already a child swelling in his belly and that Thor had lied all along. It is inconsequential, Loki guesses. He would find other ways of tormenting Loki for the next Midgardian year or so. Even if he wouldn't find out now, Thanos wouldn't need much longer and Loki wouldn't be able to hide for much longer. He is surprised they were able to pull this off as long as it went.

Loki gets pulled out of his thoughts when there is yelling and cursing at the end of the hallway but it is too far away to make out anything more than the tone. Thanos' minions, the scum of the galaxy, the traitors, murderers and thieves without a home, are running somewhere in a hurry, the Jotun recognizes their shouting and guttural grunting. Bruce also stares in the direction of the noise. He is wider awake than he had been since they arrived in Midgard's orbit. There is a calculating edge in his eyes.

Suddenly the ship lurches to the right, throwing Loki off his balance and sending him right to the ground without a warning. He looks up at the ceiling but even before Loki can fully process what has happened, the ship makes a jump again that is too fast for the thrusters to compensate, this time to the left as if a great weight would suddenly be placed on the one, then the other side.

Or lifted.

The others scramble up from their position on the ground, having been wakened by the swaying ship.

'What is that?', Steve asks as he helps Tony stand up only for both of them to drop to the floor again when there is another violent shiver and a topple of the gravity of the warship. Loki stays seated as he is and shuffles over to them to help Tony sit against the wall.

'Something is malfunctioning.', Loki says, examining his friend closely. Tony is out of breath and his heart beat irregularly. The cold is an additional strain on his already fragile health. This can't go on for long or he wouldn't make it. His heart is already failing.

'Yeah, they forgot to turn out the air conditioning. Will be one hell of a bill.', Tony jokes through clattering teeth. Without thinking Loki reaches out his hand to summon the blanket from its place a few feet over to the left and wraps it around Tony's shaking shoulders. Then he realizes what just happened.

Loki stares at his own hand. There is still a block in his magic but it is much weaker. Magic, as well as cosmic energies, can be manipulated with high advanced machines. One of them must have broken down though the walls and the door are still impenetrable for the sorcerer. It might just be enough to get past any unfortunate guard in their way.

'It has started.', Loki mutters. It's now or never. If this is Thor's work or just a normal malfunction is impossible to say but Loki is willing to take the risk. He looks to the others. Clint nods though he didn't hear Loki, helping a very disorientated Natasha to stand up. Steve and Tony also agree. Bruce continues to stare outside. In his mind he probably already is outside.

Loki walks back to the door which now is tilted to the angle of gravitation and starts working on the lock. The metal must be of a special kind because even though magic works within the walls, it does nothing whatsoever to alter them. Loki concentrates and expands his mind further but to no avail. He grows more frustrated with each second trickling by, knowing there won't be many left. It must have been centuries since he had last needed to open a door like this. He feels out the components of the lock, shifting them gently. The faint click is nearly inaudible. A smile flashes over Loki's face which vanishes almost instantly again.

There is loud clashing and a creaking to their left where other rooms and cells are. The screeching of metal being forcefully torn apart echoes through the ship, deafening the Avengers momentarily. Loki's hands fly up to his ears to cover them. The source of the noise shifts to the other side of the door, behind them. They turn but can see nothing else apart from the smooth metal wall that had been there all along. The breaking of steel is heard clearly before their world gets torn into shreds.

The very air gets sucked out of Loki's lunges when the air pressure suddenly drops rapidly and though he doesn't need it, he panics a bit. The others have their eyes wide open in shock though there is no sound carried by the vacuum as the air gets sucked out of the room within seconds, fast enough to create a torrent.

Before Loki has time to wonder though what happened, he gets knocked straight of his feet by the powerful gust of wind and the door that gets pulled out of its hinges. In flight he turns to see that there is a big hole in the hull of the warship they had been in. Loki doesn't has to wonder long where it came from though as he fancies seeing Mjolnir stopping in midflight to return to her master.

The other Avengers get blown out of their prison as well as more air rushes out of the spaceship. They try to hold on to each other but in the shock caused by the sudden movement they all drift alone as they are carried out quite some distance. The silence is deafening after the rushing of the wind. They get carried away fast, nothing stopping their movement.

Loki turns in the vacuum to look back at the ship. It is much bigger than he anticipated, already the hole is too small to be visible much less of any consequence. They would close the hatches and start coming after them in an instance. The others drift helplessly in space, not being able to breathe like Loki. Also the cold must have gotten to them already. The ship vanishes from view as Loki continues to spin due to the missing friction.

Loki wonders if Thor had thought this plan through. There is no way to propel himself to the other Avengers as there is nothing apart from some debris around him but nothing close enough to push away from. They continue to struggle for air as they get carried away further into open space. The momentum hadn't worn off yet in the absence of everything.

He tries to see Thor or anything to know what is happening. He had spotted Mjolnir when being carried out of the cell but had lost view of her again when the rush had turned him uncontrollably. There is no sign of her or Thor now though there are some ships flying to the other side of Thanos' commando central. None had yet noticed the drifting Avengers and if no one would find them within the next half minute, there wouldn't be much left to find either. Only Loki could be recaptured alive and even that chance slims with every second he gets carried further away into undiscovered space.

Thanos wouldn't be able to revive them without the Soul Stone in his possession just as he can't create life without it. The only relief Loki has is that he wouldn't be able to continue torturing his friends anymore. They are free, no matter what he does. An inaudible sigh leaves his mouth. Maybe this is the only reason, Thor will have had a plan and if killing his friends is the only way to save them, he wouldn't have hesitated and offered them this chance. Maybe the Guardians aren't coming. It was a useless hope anyway. Loki just hopes they won't suffer too long and that he would be able to die fighting alongside his husband. Just a few more seconds he would wait here with the other Avengers to make sure they wouldn't be captured by one of Thanos' minions though he sees none being aware of their existence. Without the blocks, his magic returns in the blink of an eye.

Just then he notices the light directed at them and his heart sinks. Thanos had found them. He stops drifting and realizes a tractor beam has captured him and his friends. This time he wouldn't let himself be captured, Loki would fight to the bitter end or try to flee with them as soon as he reunites with Thor. The light blinds him so he cannot make out the vehicle, not even the size. There is no way he would teleport away now without his friends.

They get carried into the vehicle by the beam. Loud breaths in are the only thing Loki can hear for a moment after the hatches close behind them and they were deposited on the floor. After the bright light it takes some moments to reorientate in the dim light.

'Shit.', Tony curses after gulping down some breaths of air.

Loki tries to get up as fast as he can to protect his friends. He wonders why not already a platoon of guards are upon them to ensure their capture. He has no weapon to defend himself but his magic is no longer blocked so they would be in for a surprise if they expect some weaklings, ready to be collected. His fingers tingle in response to his wish to tear whoever tries to capture them into shreds.

'Hey, guys. You okay?'

'Peter.' Quill's voice is a relief, Loki slumps down to the ground, breathing out forcefully. 'How?', he asks. Suddenly he is shaking and out of breath as the journey through space had taken its toll. The voice comes over the speakers in the ceiling and sounds a little strange but Loki has no doubt of who picked them up.

'Thor contacted us. Sorry it took so long but someone was not very specific about a time and an exact place.', he points out impatiently. 'And then we had to sneak close to here without being seen..'

'Stop complaining, Quill.', Gamora reprimands him. The ship lunges to the left.

'Where are you?' Out there a fight must be going on, the way the ship sways from side to side as if to evade a direct hit. Loki needs to make sure that Thor is okay.

'Bridge, Groot will be with you in a moment.', Peter tells them. Loki doubts any of the others would wish to stand up now and come with him. His eyes get used to the lighting finally and he makes out boxes and other cargo. A door at the far end side opens and the small tree creature pads over to them. There is an unusual serious expression on Groot's face.

He greets them and points in the direction of the door. 'I am Groot.'

Loki chances a look at his comrades. 'Can you take care of them?', he asks when the ship evades another shot. None of them would survive if they wouldn't be able to get away from the battle. Fortunately most of Thanos ships are too big to turn to and target such a small ship as the Milano. On the negative side stands that the Milano doesn't pose a threat to any of them. Groot nods, leaving Loki to find his way up to the controls alone.

'Are you alone?', Loki asks as soon as he enters the bridge. Quill doesn't even turn around to acknowledge him, too concentrated on flying their vessel through the storm of blasts directed at them. Loki can see a few of the closer spaceships have their weapons pointed at them by now.

'Yes.', is Gamora's answer. She sounds a little stressed but is otherwise composed. 'We're just waiting for our last passenger to get out of here.' Loki nods and glances through the wind shield, scanning the area for his husband.

There is a dull thud above them on the outer shell that Loki instantly realizes must be Thor. Peter looks up worried but as soon as they can see Mjolnir flying from above them, hitting the ship in front of them, everyone calms.

'Let's get away from here.', Loki mutters. Everyone is there and the Milano would stand no chance against one of these warships, never mind a few hundred of them.

'Probably for the best. Let's hope we can get away as easily as we got here.', the Midgardian agrees. He presses some buttons and the thumping of boots tells them that Thor makes his way inside. Then Quill turns the ship around and readies everything to get away. Quill pulls away from the fleet surrounding his homeworld and takes the course to get them as far away from here as possible.

'Damn it, that whole fleet is after us.', he mutters, checking the scanners. Apparently Thanos had realized that they are planning to flee from his grasp and follows them. Maybe he had even realized that the Guardians possess the Power Stone and wants to take it from them. Whatever might be the case, the big ships had rounded Midgard and are now on direct course to the Milano.

'They are accelerating faster than we are. Do something, Rocket.', he calls back to where the small raccoon is working in the engine room. An impatient, slightly panicked answer is thrown back at them. They would never be able to outrun Thanos like this. Even in the actually improbable case that the Milano got away with her passengers, Thanos would be able to move his ships with the Space Stone directly into their way, Loki realizes.

Just when he is about to abandon all hope, a hand slips in his, giving a gentle squeeze. Loki turns to his right to find Elena standing next to him, a sad smile on her face.

'Let's get us out of here.'

xXxXxXx

 **In my defense, I didn't say she'd be gone forever. :D**

 **Yay, so sorry it's late again. Thanks for all the favorites and follows (like seriously, where do they all come from suddenly?). In case you were wondering, I am almost done with writing this story. There will be (probably, if there is no delay and I don't get any ideas or have to abandon others) 9 more chapters, including the epilogue (it's the last, pinky promise). So, with any luck this is going to end before the year is over. I am kinda sad but I will finish this story nonetheless.**

 **Have a wonderful week!**


	71. Chapter 68 Lost

Lost

 _And I know an eighteenth charm, and that charm is the greatest of all,  
and that charm I can tell to no man, for a secret that no one knows but you is the  
most powerful secret there can ever be.  
Neil Gaiman, American Gods_

Loki looks at Elena, decides to not question her sudden appearance just yet, and nods. They need to get away as soon as possible. The ships of the Mad Titan are still following them and shooting to bring them down if unable to catch up with the Milano. It's a good thing Thor got them out of the dungeons but that hard won freedom might just be short lived.

Quill pulls the steering wheel around to avoid being hit by the energy blasts. Fortunately Thanos hadn't gained the Power Stone or this fight would have been over before it began. The Reality Stone without the additional boost wouldn't be able to catch up with them from here. Hopefully. Loki squeezes Elena's hand, preparing to get them out of here. There is no time to lose.

'Where to?', Loki asks. Maybe the Guardians already have a destination in mind. He prepares mentally to teleport the ship with Elena's help. He nearly stumbles when the ship surges to the side to evade another blast.

'Doesn't matter, just get us out of here!', Quill yells back from the pilot seat. Just then the ship gets hit but the shields are able to prevent the Milano from falling into pieces. The jolt still sends the standing Avengers to the ground. Rocket curses from behind, something still must have broken.

Loki stumbles to his feet because Quill still hasn't gotten the ship back under control. He helps Elena up. If they don't want to die here for evading Thanos' revenge, they would have to act fast.

Loki holds on tighter to Elena's hand and concentrates on his magic, drawing strength from her as well to move the giant vehicle. He takes a deep breath and ignores the sounds of fighting around them all to concentrate on his task. It's difficult to concentrate. He cannot choose a location Thanos knows of but then again, his powers are limited to the nine realms. Maybe with Elena's strength he would be able to get them out of them. Otherwise Thanos will be on their track within seconds with the Tesseract at his disposal.

Soon he feels the familiar feeling of being squeezed before everything returns to normal again in a flash. The jolts stop and the quiet of space surrounds them. Loki feels like fainting, the room spins around him. He wonders if something is wrong with the gravity. The ship shakes a little when their pilot evades something no longer there.

'Whoa!', Quill cries out, looking at the screens, then at the empty space around them. 'Where are they?' He looks from one of them to the next. 'Or, where are we?', he adds a bit unsure. Loki ignores him for the time being when he concentrates on not fainting.

'Won't he come after us?', Thor asks, worry clear in his voice. 'He has the Tesseract.', he reminds Loki.

'I know.' Loki has his eyes closed and massages the bridge of his nose. The pain in his head isn't fading yet. 'He doesn't know where we are so he can't follow us. Maybe he can track my magic but fused with Elena's it's almost unrecognizable. We should be safe here.' At least so he hopes. Furthermore, Loki himself doesn't know where they are, so how should Thanos track them? He cannot even use the Mind Stone to read Loki's thoughts.

'Good.' Thor nods more to himself as Loki can see when he forces himself to open his eyes. This hadn't happened before. Maybe it is merely the distance, maybe his powers are fading, maybe it's the merge with Elena's strange magic. Loki hopes for the first.

'What are you doing here anyway?', Loki demands to know after a few minutes in which everyone catches their breaths. He frowns at the brunette woman who smiles slightly. He doesn't want to think about any of the other stuff just yet.

'She's been with us for some days already.', Quill interjects before Elena had any chance of answering. He apparently has given the wheel to the autopilot for he turns around to them with a smile, happy to be able to help.

Elena shrugs. 'I was of no use in there. I am sorry you suffered, but there was no reason for me to share your fate. I didn't want to end up in there again, being at someone else's mercy.', she says. 'I am not denying that I was running.' She gives him a half smile. It is almost apologetic. 'It's in my nature by now, Loki. I didn't think about helping you or about getting help for you. But I came back and I want to help.' Elena isn't sorry, that much Loki can hear most certainly, for her reactions. She has had her reasons, at least to herself they are valid and sound.

He glares at her for some moments. She should not be so casual about abandoning him and his friends, among whom is the man she claims to love. Loki gets that it made no sense to have her captured as well but he still feels betrayed because of it. He had thought they are friends, were friends at the very least. Her clear conscience adds just to that.

Now that the gravity and the orientation of the ship is stabilized, Clint, Natasha and Bruce had come to the cockpit as well to join their conversation.

'She redirected us for some days.', Quill had now turned away from the control as the ship isn't flying in any specific direction. 'Otherwise we would have flown right into the middle of Thanos' army. We stayed hidden behind Pluto to wait if we could pick up any signal from you.', he explains. 'Otherwise we'd be dead as well.'

'Your scanners would surely have found them.', Loki mutters gloomily. It's a surprise actually that the Nova Core hadn't found out about the blockade on Midgard and warned their Guardians. Maybe they hadn't figured it out yet. Thanos fleet must have been in this quadrant for the past year so at least at the time of the Avengers' stay on Xandar and they had known next to nothing.

Quill shrugs. 'I haven't been on Earth for close to thirty years. What would I know about spaceships the people build in that time? You said there aren't such ships here but there could be some orbiting. It was safer.', he argues. Thanos would have blown them out of said orbit within seconds, with the knowledge of his adopted daughter being on board they might have joined the Avengers in the cells. In any case the Power Stone and all hope would have been lost.

Loki sighs. 'Okay, it doesn't matter now anyway. Where are we?', he inquires. His head ache slowly fades, slower than he would like it.

'Computer is still calibrating. After your crazy stunt they needed to reboot.' There is no blame in her voice. 'But there is some distance between us and any habitable world, that much is sure.', Gamora says. 'I recognize none of these stars.'

'Good.' Loki breathes a sigh of relief after he takes a look at the stars as well, neither recognizing any. They aren't directly in the nine realms but probably not far away either. 'So, where do we start?' He crosses his arms and leans on the back of one of the seats. There is no reason to delay this conversation or any to tell them how risky teleporting without an aim is.

'Earth is lost.', Natasha notes dryly. 'If it hadn't been before, now the Titan will surely destroy it in his revenge.' She sounds strangely detached. They are the first words she had uttered for days. The ravenette is glad she isn't completely lost to her own world.

Loki nods, that are no news. He had expected to see Midgard being destroyed already, but had been happy that the people didn't have to suffer too much until now. Of course Thanos would not leave one stone standing. There is no need to talk about that matter now or to return to their home worlds. They belong to a life past.

Loki estimates that they should still be near the nine realms, maybe somewhere near Vanaheim, maybe even Jotunheim. At least he concentrated a little more on those two realms than on the others. He hopes he is right with his guess that Thanos can't follow them without the Soul Stone and the Power Stone. He shouldn't be able to change reality to bring them back either without it. Then all that is left is to pray he leaves Jotunheim and Loki's family alone. Loki forces himself to not think of his son just now. It would do no good, he tells himself. They can't go and get Sleipnir, Thanos would find them in an instance. Furthermore, his little one is safer on that frozen rock than in their company. With any luck Thanos still doesn't know he exists though Loki doubts that.

'Well, then. We need to find a way to counteract the four Infinity Stones Thanos carries with him. We are the only threat there is for him because of the Power Stone. He'll chase us.', Gamora says, standing up. She crosses her arms. Maybe Thanos doesn't know they have it with them but it is just a matter of time to figure it out. With the Tesseract he could just go to Xandar in a heartbeat and check their vault, then put two and two together.

'Then we should keep moving.', Thor tells her with a look at Quill.

'We need to find the Soul Stone.', Loki says. 'It doesn't matter what happens if he finds it before we do. With it, he can find us anywhere or simply erase us from this universe.' His words bring a silence to the room.

'And where is it?', Quill asks after a while, not giving them the chance to answer. 'No one knows. And chances are Thanos will find it first. He has more resources.'

Loki shrugs. 'Then we are dead.'

xXxXx

Tony leans on the wall of the cargo hold, trying to catch his breath. The shaking of the ship had stopped some minutes ago and still his heart beat doesn't calm. The others had went up to talk to the Guardians and get them out of the active war zone. Thanos of course had tried to kill them if he couldn't keep them locked up but apparently Loki or the others had managed to get away. Maybe they have a hyper drive or something like that. Tony can't yet find it in him to really be curious about it though. That's never a good sign, he thinks.

Steve sits next to him, wrapping his arms around Tony's shaking form to spend him some warmth.

'I should call someone. You need medical attention.', Steve says when Tony's breathing becomes erratic and uneven. There isn't enough oxygen in the air anymore, it is suffocating him slowly. The more he breathes in, the worse it gets. Tony recognizes the symptoms but he doesn't believe it yet. It can't be, not yet. Not now that they are out of the dungeons...

'Don't go.', Tony asks of him, leaning on his soldier. He is too cold, he doesn't want to be alone on top of that.

'Loki should heal you.', Steve insists.

'There is nothing to be healed, Spangles.' Tony smiles up at him. He had always been afraid of this moment but now, that it is there, it lost its horror. He is calm now though his breathing gets worse, bordering on wheezing. 'Stay with me.', Tony says a little airily. The walls seem to get closer so the brunet closes his eyes.

Steve sighs and pulls him closer to his side. 'I wonder where we are.' Tony breathes a sigh of relief.

They had both felt the strangeness of being teleported over a great distance. Wherever they are, this is far away from Thanos and Earth. It's not as if it would make a great difference.

Tony coughs. It feels like his lungs are filling themselves with liquids which might be true after all. He is freezing and the cold of the cargo hold doesn't help.

'Let me.' Steve stands up, then bends down to pick Tony up from the ground and carries him to the door. Groot still sits there, watching them. 'Do you have a sickbay?', he asks the tiny tree creature.

Groot nods and pushes a button to open the door, leading them down the corridor to a sterile if somewhat warmer room. Tony still is shaking like a leaf, unable to stop. Steve places him on a cot in the middle of the room. The alien tech wouldn't be able to help him anyway, but Tony thinks it's way more comfortable than the metal floor. He takes a weak hold of Steve's hand so the blond wouldn't run off. Their prior position still was preferable.

Groot leaves them alone after some moments, probably to check on his friends.

'Rest, sleep a little. This must have been very strenuous for you, it was for us all.' Steve pushes the unruly now gray hair out of Tony's eyes and from his sweaty forehead. The blond looks around and extracts his hand for a moment from Tony's to reach for a blanket to cover his lover and best friend with. Tony gratefully accepts the blanket and closes his eyes because the world starts spinning around him.

'Don't leave.', he asks again. He doesn't want to be alone this far away from home.

'Of course not.', Steve whispers. He strokes Tony's cheeks and takes his hand again. Tony leans into the touch. He feels that he is sweating. 'You should drink something.', he notes. Steve is worried and why wouldn't he be? Tony had seen his reflection in the chrome wall they passed. He is an old man, unable to walk on his own or to even catch his breath. How Steve can still be this sweet, he cannot fathom but he won't question it any longer. It's just so typical Steve, it is endearing. Nevertheless Tony shakes his head. He isn't very thirsty.

'Have you been hurt?', Steve asks him, sitting down next to him on the cot. Worry is laced through his voice. They have been catapulted out of the warship and into open space after all.

'Don't worry.', Tony tells him. There is nothing to worry about anymore. 'What about you?', he asks to direct this conversation to something else apart from himself.

'I'm fine.', the blond waves the concern off. He leans over Tony to kiss his forehead, checking his temperature inconspicuously. 'I think I should get Loki.'

Tony shakes his head. 'I am not in pain.', he insists. His mind starts to get a little fuzzy, it takes off the edge. 'And I don't want you to go.' He doesn't want to be alone. His voice is barely above a whisper.

'He can heal you now. Then we can go to the others to plan our counterattack.', Steve says, a desperate hope in his voice. Tony smiles, forcing himself to open his eyes to look at his soldier.

'It's too late.' To say it out loud is liberating. They both know what the matter is. 'There is nothing more he can do.'

'Yes, there is. It's your heart, he can fix that.', Steve insists. There is despair glimmering in his eyes when he leans down with a forced smile to encourage Tony.

Tony bites his lip, straining himself with raising his hand to Steve's face. 'He can fix that and then what? This is just one thing. If you haven't noticed, I am not living the most healthy life. If it's not my heart, then it will be my lungs, my liver, something else giving out. The problem isn't my heart, I am old, Steve. And not even a god can fix that now.' Tony smiles up at him to give him some comfort. He isn't frightened for himself, only how this will affect Steve and the others. Tony tries to convey his own calm.

Tears gleam in his eyes, Steve drops his smile and leans into Tony's touch. 'Don't say that. There is something Loki can do.', he pleads with Tony. 'We need you.'

Shaking his head means more of a strain than it has any right to. 'No, you don't. I am of no use without my suits. And I have no idea of this whole galaxy saving and Infinity Stones' collecting. This is not my world, Steve. I'm just good old shell head.' Tony's lips quirk up in a smile. This is just all beyond him. Steve will understand if there is anyone out there who can.

Steve takes a deep shaky breath in. 'You can't just give up and leave us like this.'

'I'm not leaving you. I know you can do this and will beat Thanos. Without me. You don't need me for that.' Tony coughs again. When he retreats his hand from his mouth, there is a little blood on it. Steve stands up to grab a cloth and swipes his hands clean, then Tony's face.

'This is unfair.', he mutters. There is a scowl on his face, a grim line around his mouth which Tony had never seen before.

Worry flares up in him for a moment. 'Hey. Look at me, Steve.', he asks softly. Tony smiles. 'I'm not afraid. Don't be either.' He can't get enough air into his lungs anymore. 'I am glad to be here, don't regret a single step I took.' He coughs, then inhales sharply to fill his lungs.

Steve caresses his cheek again. 'Sh. Save your strength, hon.'

Tony shakes his head, stubborn as ever. 'I met you after all. How could I ever regret that? It's best like this. I always knew I wouldn't grow old. At least I found you guys, had you in my life, really changed the world. It's better than I ever thought I'd die.' His feet feel no longer like any part of him. His legs follow suit.

'Don't say things like that. Please, Tony.' Tears are in Steve's voice though his face gets a little blurry.

He shakes his head again. 'It's okay. Don't be sad, Spangles. I die with my friends, with you. For you.' His grin is crooked. 'I'm glad I found you all.' Steve brings a glass of water to his lips despite Tony's wish. It is refreshing on his chapped lips. He rests his head on the pillow and closes his eyes. 'Wouldn't want to miss a second.', he mumbles. Tony feels tired, more than ever in his life before. A little nap might do the trick.

A sniffle makes him open his eyes again to see Steve reaching out for him. 'I love you, Tony.', he whispers. Tony smiles, another fit of coughing keeps him from answering though. 'You'll be fine, just rest for a moment.', Steve tells him after it is over and he wiped away the evidence before Tony can see it.

Tony nods. His throat hurts and his lungs burn a little. He's been through worse, he thinks. 'Can you hold my hand?' Steve nods as well, not being able to speak without his voice breaking. The brunet barely feels the touch but draws some comfort from the little gesture. A tear flows down his cheek when he looks up at the ceiling. Damn, no crying he told himself. It's hard enough as it is for Steve.

Tony closes his eyes, surrounding himself with darkness. It is fitting that he once found the sun after going through hell, now he would die with the world he left behind. He doesn't want to see that the space finally swallowed him, that he is alone in the coldness, that Jarvis went offline just when he needed him the most. There is a gentle squeeze of his hand. Tony forces himself to open his eyes once more though he sees nothing. He isn't alone, never will be. 'I..', he begins.

'Tony?'

'Tony!'

'TONY!'

xXxXx

Silence follows Loki's words. Suddenly there is a loud sigh, the brunette female looks up with a sad expression. Bruce leans on the side, the one furthest away from Elena and for once she hadn't tried to get closer to him. Now she is staring out into the distance, her eyes unfocused, a little crease of sadness on her brow. After some seconds her eyes refocus. Elena turns to the Avengers.

'What?', Thor asks, crossing his arms. She shakes her head and leaves without a further word. 'What was that about?', he asks confused.

'Who cares?', Bruce mutters from his point. He had gained some control during their flight though everyone is unsure as to how long he will stay like this. He scowls at the blank space in front of them. They continue to speak about their plans but without any clue as to where the Soul Stone is hidden, there is no course to take.

When the door opens moments later, Loki expects to see Elena returning but instead Steve comes in, his shoulders slumped and his whole body language speaking of unbearable pain and forlornness.

'Tony, he..' Steve wets his lips but doesn't finish his sentence. The shock makes it impossible for Loki to feel anything but numbness. He can't be dead. Loki got them out of Thanos' clutches to bring him back to his life, not to take it. 'He died.' The words come out as a whisper but they couldn't have been more devastating when being shouted. Loki collapses against the chair and it's all for some moments he can do to keep standing.

There is no point in asking how. Without Thanos de-aging him, Tony already has had only so few days left to live. The surprise, the shock of suddenly being in the vacuum of space, the possible destruction of Midgard.. Tony had suffered from a weak heart for as long as Loki knows him.

Still, the ravenette shakes his head, gets a grip on himself again and hurries off to the cargo hold where they had left him. On the way he passes the sick bay where a body catches his eye. Loki immediately recognizes the crumpled form of his friend and leans over him. There is a dip on the bed, probably where Steve had sat and kept him company. A sob spills from Loki's lips when he cannot detect any life signs nor any flutter of energy in Tony's body.

'No, no, no, no, no.', he mumbles, pressing his hands over his heart. Loki mutters some basic healing spells. Tony isn't dead, he can safe him, he has to. He cannot let his friend go like this, without even saying good bye. Without asking for forgiveness. 'Come back.', he repeats again and again, trying more and more spells but they all fail to revive the body in front of him.

With a cry Loki breaks down next to the corpse of his best friend, tears flow freely over his face into his waiting hands. Everything went wrong, the Mad Titan had won, had killed another of his family. If they couldn't win against Thanos before, how should they stand a chance without the ingenious man at their side? Life seems so much more colorless and without prospects than moments ago. He failed to protect them and a good man died because of it. The rational part of his brain tells him he could have done nothing for Tony, the other, much bigger, part just griefs.

He becomes gradually aware that someone is whispering his name or maybe shouting it. Loki looks up but the tears blur his vision too much. He is picked up by what feels like Thor and carried to a spare room, away from Tony. Loki is too tired to fight or to even tell Thor that he wants to stay exactly where he was.

'There is nothing you can do, love.', Thor whispers into his ear when he deposits Loki on the ground and sits down himself, pulling Loki into his lap to embrace him tightly.

'I should have saved him.', Loki murmurs. His voice is hoarse from crying but he isn't just mourning Tony but also his world, his father, the universe. There is no need to be strong anymore, they already lost everything and everyone, even if Loki is able to contain this universe and not have anything more damaged, is it worth it anymore when everything good is already gone?

Thor shushes him, stroking his back and hair, leaning on him just as Loki leans on him. They spend each other comfort in this darkest hour. Loki cannot fight anymore, there is no need for a rash action anymore. It's too late. He doesn't has the energy to think anymore, to plan out a way to save the universe. A universe without Odin. Without Tony.

'Can you stand up?', Thor asks after what feels like an eternity he drowned in his sadness. Loki nods, then lets himself being dragged to his feet by Thor. 'We should maybe say goodbye.', he says slowly.

Loki frowns, pushing the last tears from his eyes. 'What?'

'To Tony.', Thor clarifies. Loki nods, not really realizing what his husband is saying and lets himself be led back to the sick bay where Tony still lies on the cot. Loki almost stumbles back but Thor catches him and urges him to get closer to his friends standing around Tony, paying their respect.

'We will give him a proper burial.', Peter says. 'A Ravager Burial.' He nods to himself as if that is indeed the most reasonable thing to do.

'What?' Loki looks up, his brain slowly starts working again. Burial? Saying good bye?

'Look, we will pay him every respect, it's the only thing we can offer right now. I mean, he probably wanted to lie with his family or at least somewhere on Earth, a place where you can visit him, but.. that's not really possible right now.', he explains, scratching his head.

'No, you won't touch him.', Loki exclaims in a rush. What is that mortal thinking? His breathing quickens with every moment. He realizes he must have yelled.

'Loki.', Steve admonishes him. He sounds sad, like something in him broke that night.

'He is dead. We gotta let him go.', Natasha tries to get through to him but the ravenette continues to shake his head. They can't seriously contemplate dumping Tony in space like trash? He was afraid of being lost in space and now they want him to eternally rest there?

Loki is breathless. His recent break down hasn't left his mind clear. 'No, you won't. This isn't..' He doesn't know how to properly finish that sentence to make them understand, to make them see.

'It's the best to do it as quickly as possible. I know, I wish we could do more, make it a big event but that is not possible. He wouldn't want us to drag this out. He would want us to move on as fast as possible.', Thor puts his hand on Loki's shoulder. 'He was no child of sadness.', he reminds his husband.

'You-you can't just.. No, you can't.' Loki shakes his head again, ready to break down again. This is too much, too soon. There wasn't even time to process Tony's death and they already want to get over it. Something in him is broken, broken by all the deaths, by the tragedy. But instead of slowly killing him, it grows, evolves into something he cannot understand. It fills him to the brim, clears the clouds of his mind. Suddenly he no longer panics but is calm.

Thor embraces him, tries to part him from his friend. How can he not understand? 'Let me go.', Loki says slowly.

'No, you need to rest, we all need to rest. We can do this tomorrow.', he turns to the Guardians who nod. 'It's been a long day.' Loki cannot believe this is true. They can't still want to do this. This is madness. Why can't they see? Why won't Thor let him explain?

They can't do this.

That is the thing he realizes, the thing on his mind he has to speak. What if it is too late by tomorrow morning? They cannot bury Tony, cannot throw him away. 'He isn't dead.', Loki turns to Thor to explain. 'He isn't dead!', he calls out louder when Thor doesn't let go of him. The others look shocked, worried. They have to realize the truth. He isn't crazy nor has he lost his mind.

Thor drags him out of the room. 'You need rest, be calm, love.', he tells him, again and again, holding him down to force him to regain his composure. An apologetic look is cast in the direction of the others.'

Loki manages to get out of his grasp and gets back. They all think he lost his head but his mind had never been clearer. 'You won't touch him.' He shakes off Thor again when the blond tries to grab him. 'You won't touch him.', Loki repeats, his voice deadly calm. 'This is not the end. Thanos crossed a line. He will pay. I will fix this. Put his body on a hold, freeze him, make sure nothing happens to it.', he instructs Quill, the tone of his voice not allowing any refusal. 'There will be no burial, no mourning. Thanos did this to him, I will undo it.'

Loki glares at everyone in turn to make sure they get that he means it. They are all shocked, he can tell that. Why he hadn't come up with the idea before, he cannot say. It is so easy. Difficult to execute but simple and elegant.

Thanos would pay. A rage had settled in his stomach, a rage Odin's death hadn't lit. But seeing good, clever, Tony being tortured and killed right in front of his eyes is more than Loki can take. There was a line Loki thought he would never ever cross and Loki overstepped it irrevocably. He will kill the Titan and he is going to enjoy every second of it. He has never been this clear while rage tore at his heart. He won't mourn a single friend, not ever again. Loki would bring him back.

'The Time Stone aged him up and the Time Stone can reverse this.' It can reverse all of this madness.

xXxXxXx

 **Oh my, this was hard. I think that scene was the hardest I ever had to write. Phew. Poor Tony. So, now that the worst is over (for my part), let's move on with rage-crazed Loki. Yay :)**

 **To juls-emo: Again, thank you so much for that beautiful review, it touched me and really made my day :3 kisses and love to.. wherever you are :) Hope you won't hate me for this chapter.**

 **I love you all guys, and I always love to hear from you. For now, bye and see ya on Saturday (this time maybe even for real).**


	72. Chapter 69 Revenge

Revenge

 _The restless adventurer within me stands eye-to-eye with the fear that has stepped directly in my path.  
And the thing I absolutely must not do is to blink first.  
Craig D. Lounsbrough _

Thor stares with an open mouth at his husband. One moment the ravenette had been gone mad with grief over the death of the man of iron and now he proposes to actually bring him back. He doesn't know what to think of any of this yet. Too much had changed in too short a time span. Actually, it is almost laughable. Before this Thor had been burning with rage and had wanted nothing else apart from bashing some heads in, but only patience and stealth had enabled him to save his friends. Or at least the better part of them. In the past Loki had often told him to remain calm and think before acting, though now he should heed his own advice.

There is a fire burning in the green eyes, a grim defiant streak around his mouth Thor doesn't know.

'You..' Steve shakes his head, not being able to make more sense to this than any of the others. Tony had been closer to him than anyone else and yet, Thor understands why he hesitates and doesn't jump the possibility of Loki bringing their friend back. Reality and time are fickle. One little change might mean the collapse of all they know and love as his husband had explained to him years ago when Thor asked him about time spells. He doesn't seem to care now about that though.

The ravenette crosses his arms. 'I won't take this. He is playing with us and he will pay for that.', Loki snarls. Magic leaves him in all direction though their Midgardian friends probably won't notice it. There is a tremble going through the ravenette. 'Tony won't die because of this.' No one points out that he already had.

Thor sighs. He realizes why he is bend on doing this, why he has to convince himself that he must do this. The blond alone wouldn't be able to talk Loki out of this. Norns, he doubts Tony could talk him out of this madness.

'How?' Steve doesn't trust him yet, unsure how he wants to achieve this. Thanos holds the Stones and he won't hand them over to them without a fight that ends in either their deaths or his. 'He holds the power in his hands.', Steve reminds him with a frown but his composure slowly changes. Grief gets slowly replaced by the determination to avenge Tony's death and the hope that maybe Tony could be with them while doing so. Steve stands taller now, a man bearing his lot in life the best he can. Suddenly he looks far older than he is with his less than thirty years. Thor had always believed him to be a good captain and now he can see that the innocence, which he had kept for himself during the war he had helped win, is lost once and for all. He would lead them to his last breath to avenge their fallen friend. Thor just hopes he is considerate enough to make it count. It is hard to measure up anyone when their fate is such as the one of him and his friends. Steve doesn't allow himself to hope yet, however, he will assist Loki in his mad plan, that much Thor is sure of.

Loki shakes his head. 'He doesn't hold the Power Stone. Neither the Soul Stone. The latter is our ticket. He will want it more than anything else because with it, he can render us and everyone in his way powerless. And it might be the last weapon to destroy him with.', Loki says in that same deadly calm Thor comes to hate.

Steve frowns, unsure how to proceed. 'So you want to find it and use it to wipe Thanos out?'

Loki nods. 'It will utterly destroy him. He will have never existed. Then we can reverse all of this.' The ravenette takes some perverse pleasure in the mere thought of the Titan's fate. Thor is not sure if he likes this side of his husband at all. Gone is his cool demeanor, his wit, his hidden smile, his mischief, almost everything that once defined Thor's little brother. Thor wonders just how long it has already been gone, how long that determination has been there, how long the cruel streak had been hidden away from him. For a second Thor questions if the young man he grew up with is still there, somewhere underneath all the layers of hate and madness.

'We can't let him lie here.', Gamora reasons. Thor gets more worried for his husband with each passing second. This is crazy and surely just something he would contemplate in his desperate state. Thor is sad and mourns his friend as he mourns his father and homewold. Still, he knows it is impossible to bring the dead back and reverse their time. It could bring them even more sorrow.

'Then put him on ice.', is Loki's icy suggestion. He sounds impatient. As Thor knows him his plans are already way ahead of this. The matter is already settled and Loki would not be dissuaded. They are all just variables as of now, pawns that need to be moved till victory is won or he falls.

Nevertheless, Thor was never one to give up just because a cause was lost. 'Maybe we should sleep now. It's been a long night and,' Thor takes a deep breath, 'we lost a friend. We need to be rested to continue this conversation and decide for a direction.'

There are several mumbled agreements. Thor takes Loki's hand to lead him back to the cargo hold. There aren't enough beds anyway for them all and neither of the couple is going to get a lot of sleep anyway. There are some blankets thrown over the boxes in a corner as a makeshift bed. Loki starts pacing immediately.

'Loki.' Thor would rather have him rage and yell and tear something apart than this silence. 'Loki.', he tries again but the ravenette seems to be in his own world at the moment, caught up in his thoughts about revenge.

Thor places himself in Loki's way to stop him. 'Don't.', Loki warns him because there is no other way to interpret his glare and the tone of his voice.

The blond stands back and just watches his husband in shock. What happened to him that he changed his whole stance so dramatically that none of this should change anything between them, that Thanos shouldn't be allowed to change them? Or is this the nasty thing Loki had tried to warn him about in his usual inconspicuous ways? Was this what his husband had been frightened could happen to himself when fighting the Mad Titan?

'He crossed a line, Thor.', Loki says as if reading Thor's mind. 'Two of our friends died.' There is no emotion in his voice despite his words.

'It's not your fault. He would have come here anyway.', Thor tries to get through to him, to make Loki not shut him off. 'He even had his ships boarded before he tried to send you to conquer Midgard.'

He turns to Thor. 'And what did I do to help our worlds?' Rage burns in the emerald eyes, a dangerous red glint had settled there. Loki isn't fully in control. 'Asgard lies in ruins and Midgard soon enough will end the same way. We were warned and still failed to protect them because he changes the rules.' Fatigue enters his voice. 'Each and every time we think we finally have an advantage, he takes it. He takes everything.', Loki hisses.

Thor huffs, crossing his arms. His patience runs thin. 'What about your insane plan to bring back Tony?'

Loki's eyes blaze with rage when he turns to glare at Thor. 'He deserved better than this. And I will not accept that..' He stops and takes a deep breath to calm. 'Thanos has done so many wrongs. Let me make this one right.', he insists.

Thor sighs and steps closer again to Loki now that the latter stopped pacing. 'I know how much he means to you. But is he worth destroying the whole universe for? He wouldn't want that, love.'

Loki doesn't accept the embrace but takes a step back to stare at him. 'He can't want anything anymore and that is all his fault. It's not fair.'

'Life is not fair.', Thor interrupts him impatiently. 'You should know that best.' The blond realizes his mistake a second too late.

This agitated he had never seen his brother before in all their lives. He has that look on him like he would kill someone. Thor has to pull himself together to not back down. 'Yes. Yes, I do know and that is why I say no more. The universe has been pushing us around and Thanos helped it with his every. It's enough. I will bring our friend back and erase Thanos from the face of this galaxy. How can you not want this?', he demands to know. 'The Stones are part of this universe. It's not like some weak time or reality altering spell if that is what you fear for.'

Thor doesn't accept that explanation. 'So there won't be a price needing to be payed?'

Loki barely flinches. 'It will be worth it. Nothing can be worse than this.' There is some underlying calculation behind all of this. Thor just hadn't found the root of it.

'Really? You are willing to face whatever consequences?' Thor forces himself to regain his calmness. 'Please, beloved, be reasonable.', he beseeches Loki. 'We have something to fight for and we are going to avenge Tony's untimely death but we cannot change the fabric of reality. We could lose even more than we already have.'

Loki shakes his head. Thor isn't sure if he even heard what he just said. 'What could be worse? Our family is dead as are most of our people. A homicidal maniac is after our unborn child to marry her. He already destroyed our lives, they lie in ruins before us. What more has to happen so you will see? I thought you wanted to see him dead as well.' He seems hurt by this more than anything.

'I do.', he answers quickly. 'And I want nothing more than to return to our comfortable lives we had before he came into them. But we can't. Father always tried to teach me to not only think about Asgard but also about the other realms and how my decisions would affect them.'

Loki's face hardens once more. 'My decision is final, Thor. I don't care for other worlds. I need to protect my own.'

Thor knows the rage that is burning up Loki but he doesn't know which potential it has. It usually blinds himself but Loki seems more focused even in this blinding fury but also reckless. The blond sighs again, then hangs his head slightly and walks over to the bed. He needs to get some sleep and that now. It had not only been a long, straining day, he neither had gotten a lot of sleep in the days before this, planning their escape and paying attention to not let on that he wasn't under control anymore. Having to watch his every step has been very fatiguing. He finally can acknowledge all the pains Loki went through when he went along with any of his plans involving stealth in years prior and has to give him credit for making it look so easy. Thor would have rather fight his way out of an army than having to do that again.

Thor pats the spot next to him, begging Loki to put aside their differences for the moment. He doesn't want to go to bed still being angry with each other. Who could tell if they would wake up again, especially together.

Loki eyes him for some moments, then decides it is safe enough to step closer. He comes to stand in front of Thor so the blond can lean on him for a moment. Thor brings his hands up to Loki's stomach, cupping the bum which isn't there yet. A small sad smile flits over his face. It's still there, the prickling at the tips of his fingers that tell him someone is there. The people and himself usually forget about that part of his natural powers and abilities because it seems so small compared to wielding Mjolnir and controlling lightning. The god of fertility. It couldn't have happened at a worse or better moment. Thor hadn't expected to feel Loki swell with their child for many years to come. It usually takes longer and actually, Thor had forgotten that his abilities might affect their attempts and speed up the process.

Loki threads his fingers through his hair, drawing him slightly closer. Thor's thumb circles over the spot where he can feel their child moving ever so slightly. He would protect it, her, and his husband.

'How is she?', Loki asks in a small voice as if he doesn't really care. For him, this might just be another burden. Another thing to stop him on his way to revenge. Thor isn't sure if he is happy for them just yet. The thought of their child had given Thor new strength and a new perspective. They didn't really have the time to talk about Loki's point of view on this matter.

'She is fine.' Thor smiles again, then pulls Loki closer, his hands resting on the small of his back and his head on Loki's chest. The ravenette wraps his arms around him.

He sighs.

'You don't want to keep her.', Thor states, trying not to voice his disappointment and his judgment. He feels Loki's rejection even though the ravenette tries to hide it and does it well.

'I am not sure.', Loki admits silently. 'She's our daughter but Thanos wants her. What if we can't stop him?', he voices his fear, a fear he shares with Thor. 'I don't want her to suffer more than necessary.'

Thor takes a deep breath to stay calm. 'He would kill us if we'd do anything to harm her.', he reasons. Thor raises his head to look up at the ravenette whose brow is creased. 'And then we would deserve that. She is innocent and no matter how she is born, she deserves to live, doesn't she?'

'Our first born.', Loki mutters. Thor takes his hands to place them just above their daughter so he can feel her as well.

'I also thought we would share this under different circumstances.', Thor admits. 'But we both wanted this. Now it happened sooner than we anticipated but that doesn't change the way I feel about it. She is.. You're both the light of my life right now. It is of course your decision..' He trails off, not daring to voice that thought. It is unbearable.

'It is also yours. She's your daughter as well.' Loki releases a loud breath. 'This is so complicated.', he says, bowing a little so his face is buried in Thor's hair. 'She deserves more than I can give her. What if I can't protect her?'

'Better to try than to always doubt and regret.' Thor's mouth twitches into a half smile.

He can feel Loki's mouth twitch in response. 'When did you get so wise?', he mocks.

'Oh, you know, my brother taught me a thing or two.' Thor's grin is crooked. Loki takes a deep breath, then raises back to his full height.

'I..' He searches for the right words. Thor nods in understanding. Loki won't be dissuaded. The child doesn't change his plans for vengeance, he cannot let her. He wouldn't be able to look into the mirror again if he would.

Thor shushes him, then pulls him down to the bed so Loki lies down next to him. The blond rubs his back in soothing circles. Loki must be tired as well. He should get them something to eat and drink first but after their conversation Thor is too tired to take care of that yet. Loki is far thinner than he had been before Xandar. Thor wonders if he had eaten at all or if Thanos might have starved his husband. Loki isn't complaining though and Thor doubts he could eat anything just yet, so he continues his ministrations and closes his eyes.

He falls asleep faster than he thought possible.

xXxXx

The next day comes as dark and hopeless as the last one ended. Loki's mind is still primarily focused on the destruction of Thanos, the clearness from before had not gone despite the restless sleep. He knows he finally needs to deal with the life growing in him but he cannot bear to think of their daughter as someone Thanos would want to bond with. He hadn't actively thought about not carrying her out, it merely had been a possibility he had known about from the first moment he felt her move inside him. Loki had to prepare himself for losing her because otherwise the pain would have been unbearable if the inevitable happened.

Loki turns to his back, bumping into Thor who snores lightly in his sleep. How he can sleep so deeply after all they have been through.. The ravenette sighs and rolls out of the makeshift bed. It had been a long day and an even longer night but he can't stay in bed anymore, he needs to get up and move or he might go crazy.

Loki decides to first visit Tony. It doesn't matter that he won't be there when they fight Thanos, at least he wouldn't get hurt further. Loki wants to renew his promise now that the fire of his fury isn't so new and his oaths will be more believable.

The corridor is deserted though Loki can hear some quiet voices in the cockpit talking. He can't make out what they say. Shaking his head, he sneaks to the infirmary. Despite their threat the Guardians hadn't brought Tony somewhere else just yet.

The old man who barely resembles the Tony Stark he had met four years ago. Steve sleeps in the corner of the room, or at least his head rests between his legs where he slid down the wall when his legs wouldn't carry him any further.

Loki takes a deep breath, standing next to his friend. He pushes all thoughts of home aside because there no longer is such a thing. His resolve only hardens when Sleipnir, alone and frightened on Jotunheim, comes to his mind. For them all the Titan needs to be stopped. His hand hovers over Tony's only for a moment before he turns to leave.

This is looking back when he has to look into the future to make the present possible. There is just no time for that. There would be enough time to grief if his plan would fail. Either that or no time at all to regret anymore.

Loki walks right into Drax on his way to the Guardians. The giant just leaves his companions to deal with their problems. He merely nods at Loki and doesn't lose a word. With a little frown he enters the big room they use as their center of base. Without any plan where to go they would never be able to fight Thanos. It is just a lucky guess that Thanos can't follow them and show up at any moment with his armada behind him and take their every hope in a flash. He certainly wouldn't take prisoners this time. But that the ship isn't under attack just yet gives them all something resembling hope. Or the Titan could watch them, thinking they might know where the Soul Stone is hidden and just wait for his opportunity to kill them all.

Loki sits down in the corner of the room. The Guardians are talking quietly about their alternatives from here on and none looks overly good. Slowly but surely all of Loki's friends stand up and come here to eat breakfast, later they would discuss their battle plan. Loki hadn't noticed how hungry he had been but now, with his goal in mind, he feels the hunger again and doesn't say no to what looks and tastes like something edible.

They all meet in the communal room next to a star map to talk about the further course of action after the rather silent breakfast. Their loss is still fresh on everyone's mind.

'We hid behind Saturn.', Gamora tells them, crossing her arms while leaning on the table. 'We've seen what he did to Titan.' She takes a deep breath as if trying to rid her mind of the pictures.

'His homeworld.', Loki half states, half asks.

She nods. 'He..' She looks for the right words. 'It no longer holds any life.'

'He obliterated it.', Quill interrupts.

Loki nods to himself. 'They banished him, he said something about revenge and being the last of his kind.' At least now they know where he spend the time between destroying Asgard and conquering Midgard. Gamora draws up a screen, showing the dark dust clouds surrounding the little moon. No cities or other Titan made objects are visible anymore. The surface that is visible is burned black. Parts of the moon were blown to pieces, big craters reach deep, almost to the core of the moon. Obliterated is indeed the right word. No one could have survived that.

'They must have hidden behind Jupiter or even further away until you came. We found some signs for bigger spaceships there.', Gamora continues.

Thanos enjoyed his victory fullheartedly. A small part of Loki wonders if he could have ever done something like that to his homeworld. He shakes his head. Thanos had willingly brought his exile on himself. He wanted war and this is the price he payed for it. The price the whole universe would have to pay if they would fail stopping him. Thanos is mad, there is no other possibility. Who would come up with the plan of courting Death?

Loki's will wavers for a moment.

Death. The Death of the universe? Or merely a death goddess? What is it that there is growing inside him? What if Thanos wants to transform his daughter into that something? What if it already happened?

The others don't notice his internal fight and continue making their plans.

'What happened after we left?', Natasha asks. She stands in a similar position as Gamora. She clearly worries about her homeworld as well. The green skinned woman turns to the computer.

'After we finally found out where we are, we were able to establish a connection to one of Rocket's drones.' She looks up at the Avengers. 'Do you want to see it?'

Loki looks up to see what they would do. He can guess what they would see, how Midgard would look like now. It matters little. Reversing time would surely be able to correct this as well. Asgard could be saved, that is what he has to focus on when suddenly pictures of a world on fire light up between them. It still takes Loki's breath. Rivers of molten lava seem to flow over the continents while the oceans erupt in steam, eventually blocking any beholder's gaze.

There are no gasps, just deadly silence. He knows they would not declare him mad again and would be by his side on his way to revenge. Who had wanted to see the pictures, Loki can't say. Quill scrunches his eyes shut to block out the visual though the pictures already fade. They had only steeled Loki's resolve to fight to their last.

'Where is his army?', Loki asks to break the silence.

'Gone.', is Gamora's short answer. 'He must have send them to find us. You.' She looks at the Avengers. 'We are hoping he doesn't know we were here but it matters little.'

'What happened to Xandar?', Loki asks, distracting them a little. They had feared Thanos' revenge when the Avengers had left them after defending the Power Stone. Now Loki doubts that the Mad Titan even fully knows about their involvement because he had not mentioned it with a single word. He merely is aware that his plan didn't work. He would possibly wait till he has all the other stones before attacking Xandar again with his army.

'Nothing as far as we know. A message from Nova-Prime reached us about two weeks ago so everything should be alright there. Thanos' forces are here after all. From what I have seen this is the biggest part of his army. We probably destroyed almost all that was left behind.', Gamora says. The twitching of her mouth speaks volumes about the pride she feels for being able to fight her adoptive father back.

'Good.' It would not do that any more people die because of this madness. It is his vendetta against the would-be conqueror of the universe.

'They won't help.', she reminds them all.

Loki smiles. 'I know.' They have enough problems to last them a few lifetimes without the exiled Titan to take care off. 'They would be too late anyway.', he points out. He doesn't even know where they currently are, in which system and where they would need to go from here. Having two armies looking for them, one to destroy, the other to assist, would not do. Furthermore, no more lives should be lost on this quest. There is a high chance none of them would survive it as it is now without an impending space war.

Gamora nods. 'You are probably right.'

'So, what are we gonna do now?', Quill cuts the silence short. 'Do you know where we need to go?', he asks them with a raised eyebrow.

'No.', Loki admits. 'But we will. I just need to borrow a thing.' A very special one thing. By the look Quill gives him he can already guess what Loki is requesting. The fact that he hadn't straight out refused is a good sign in Loki's opinion.

Within ten minutes everything is ready. Loki withdraws to continue the meditation to find the remaining Infinity Stone, having started with it already after waking up. He has taken the Power Stone out of its confinement in the orb, placing it in front of him. The energies radiating from it are fascinating. Loki absorbs a part of them to enhance his own strength and the reach of his powers. He becomes more aware of the radiations around the ship, the flow of this part of the universe. It enables the holder to wield these powers and control them to the full extent. From the Guardians' description though Loki isn't overly keen on touching it with his hands just in case.

There are several big traces of massive energy output in other parts of the universe but because these six are so powerful, they feel as if they are just out of reach. One, the main source, is right in front of Loki, four others are accumulated at one point near the old Midgard. The last, however..

Green eyes open to the bright purple light filling the room. With a nudge of his returned magic, the Stone returns to the orb. Loki stands up and goes out of the cargo hold to where the others are eating without real joy and refill their energy reserves. All are still tired and listless after the past weeks.

'I know where to go.' The heads turn to him in an instant. There is a sparkle but also a kind of resignation like them giving up to the fate they knew all along waited for them. Loki still holds the orb in his hand and gives it back to Gamora because Rocket refuses to touch it.

'Shoot.' Quill motions him to follow him to the pilot seats. Loki follows him up the steep stairs and finally sees the stars again. The eternal night of the cosmos lies over them like a blanket.

A star map is drawn up again, dimming the shining outside. Loki has to orientate himself for a moment and turns the map this way and that before he points at a planet far off the radar.

'This one. There should be a moon in this planet system.'

Quill nods. 'If it's there, we will find it.' It is mostly uncharted space out there.

Loki nods, not blaming the Midgardian for doubting his word. They don't know each other after all. 'How long is it going to take us to get there?', he asks, not lingering on the matter. They can't delay anything. Thanos might be on his way at this moment and with the Tesseract, that distant planet is just a thought away.

The mortal bends over the computer, typing in their destination and programming the auto pilot. 'There is a jumping point close by. Just a few thousand clicks. So, four days.', he estimates.

'Wow.', The word slips out of Loki's mouth without his consent. He had feared a far longer journey. Where had he just teleported them?

'We're almost in Skrull territory.', Peter explains as if reading his mind. 'These spots haven't been used for some time but they should carry us closer to our destination without much delay.'

So they are on the other side of their galaxy as Xandar is. Maybe Thanos wouldn't look for them here and without the Power Stone they can just hope that he wouldn't be able to trace the Soul Stone that quickly. Hopefully the Titan doesn't know anything about this part of the galaxy because of the long fights with the Skrulls.

Loki sighs. It is better to reach their destination fast and, if possible, without further interruptions. They are all tense. A fight might take their minds off the matter but would also weaken them. None of the Avengers is armed right now except for Thor who took Mjolnir with him. The quarters they will have to live in also don't invite them to stay here for a long time.

'Alright.' Quill looks out, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. 'Maybe you should, you know, eat and rest a little. The Milano will get us where we need to be.' He nods to himself and waits for Loki to leave to refresh.

'Thank you for picking us up.'

'No problem, bro.', he assures Loki. 

xXxXxXx

 **Maybe I should just declare Monday my new updating day but I won't give up hope just yet. Thanks for reading, special thanks again to juls-emo (you really make me blush. My humble thanks to you, love and hearts.) and I hope you liked the introspective. No worries, action is (soon) about to commence (maybe even for real on Saturday this time, I sure will do my best).**


	73. Chapter 70 At Last

At Last

 _In the darkness of my dark-beating heart, I know. He'd have loved it all right.  
You see? Even death has a heart.  
Markus Zusak, The Book Thief_

The days pass by slowly, it is almost unbearable for everyone. It feels like a full-out stop, being trapped on this vessel, after the events of the past weeks. All are nervous and anxious, willing and at the same time fearing something to happen. The arrival at their destination looms over them all.

Thor strides down the narrow corridor. It is not suited to pace here but there is nothing else to do. The upper floor with the kitchen and sitting area are already too crowded and staying in the cargo hold isn't improving his mood either. The blond wants to get out of this ship and see the sky again, any sky at all, feel wind on his skin and move as he wants to and not in this confinement. To feel natural gravity rather than this artificial one. It might perform the same duties but it is not right. The recycled air worsens his mood with each inhale. By now he misses even drifting weightless through open space.

They should arrive any moment now at their jumping point to travel to their destination. Until then, all there is to do is wait. There is no training to be done, only mourning. The still-stand agitates Thor to no end.

Loki evades him again though he tries not to show it. The events on Thanos' flagship must have taken a greater toll on him than he let on for he doesn't sleep, at least not anywhere near Thor. And the whole situation with their child is just as complicated. Thor had tried to speak with him time and time again since there is not much more to do on this ship until their reach their destination but Loki had deemed the issue settled and refused to say another word until this all would be over, whenever that might be. He had claimed fatigue though Thor knows he didn't sleep more than a handful of hours since they got picked up by the Guardians, and wanted to meditate for hours on end. Thor doesn't dare to interrupt him. He had put Loki through enough as it is.

He remembers the promise he gave Loki that all of this would not change anything between them. He isn't sure that is still achievable. Too much has happened, too much weight has been put on his soul and consciousness, to return to their old lives. He doesn't even know if Loki still wants that, if he is still the same. This rage, this madness, had somehow changed him, Thor isn't certain if it is for better or worse. There are plans he devises all night, plans, which he doesn't share with any of them. Thor is afraid to ask him for specifics though he can guess the general direction.

The com cracks online just a few meters away from the blond. 'Hey, Thor, come up. We are going to jump soon.', Quill instructs over the speakers.

Thor nods though no one can see him and heads upstairs. The others are already strapped into the seats at the far end corner, leaving a larger space for Thor to fill in. Loki enters the room some seconds after him and sits wordlessly down next to him, staring straight ahead, showing no indication he has seen Thor.

He suppresses a sigh, instead of mourning the loss of intimacy he schools his features and prepares for his fate ahead. It would be alright, he has to believe that much. Otherwise this would all just be a farçe not worth playing. Quill had occasionally picked up some signals that Thanos is on the move as well but they had been able to keep out of his reach. Some of his ships must be traveling in the same direction, assuming that they would try to make a dash toward the Skrulls on this side of the galaxy and hide with the Nova Empire's enemies. It would have been a clever move, Thanos can't know that part of the galaxy too well given the ongoing war and the bad traveling conditions, especially the time needed to get here. All apart from this one point have been rendered useless to stop the adversary forces from clashing.

Space looks the same as it always does, dark and desolate. Whatever beauty it once held, for now Thor has seen more than enough of it. There is a sudden jerk when the ship speeds up, then slows down almost instantly again. The light of the sun is different, he notices immediately. It is not yellow as Asgard's or Midgard's sun is, the red light emitting from the sun is reminding him of Muspelheim where there is no sun shining ever. Thor is breathless when he looks at the planet that comes into view very quickly now. It also looks very different from what he is used to. Three planets circle the red dwarf, two of them are too far away to make out details. The third, the one that's closest, has a moon almost as big as itself. They circle each other, rather than normally. But while the planet is bare and gray in the red sun, the moon is shining with color, the atmosphere breaking up the red light. It looks rather like the planet if it wouldn't be for the size.

The surface is mostly yellow with large violet spots all over it. Thor realizes that the yellow is some kind of liquid and that oceans are covering the planet's surface alongside the purple continents. Quill sets the course straight to it. Soon the surface comes closer. They enter the atmosphere with a jerk. The earth isn't purple as Thor had first believed. His eyes widen as he takes in their new surroundings. Loki unstraps and goes to the front to get a better view.

'Are we there? Did it work?', Loki asks, leaning over the seat to take a look at the map and the planet system ahead of them. He had only gotten a glimpse of the location of the Soul Stone.

'It would seem so.', Quill confirms. 'And there is no sign of Thanos yet.' A smile flits across his face. He checks his instruments again. Thor isn't so certain that the Titan is far behind them. They should still hurry rather than waste time.

'Good. Can we land somewhere?' He had said he would be able to trace the signal far better when in contact with the ground.

'Yep, there is a landing area right ahead.', he says, pointing at a blue space where none of the giant purple trees stand. 'I'll take us down.' Loki takes his seat again when they descend further, the ship shakes occasionally from the air pressure. Coming closer they notice that the violet and purple comes from the plants and that where the strange trees with purple leaves don't cover the ground, blue patches of grass are visible. Quill is leading the ship to one of the bigger free patches.

As soon as the ship sets down, Quill tells them that the atmosphere should be breathable for all of them so they wouldn't need any spacesuits. Loki leaves the ship first to explore this new world. He is too eager for revenge, Thor feels. There is something else but he can't put his finger on it. Gamora and Drax follow suit.

Thor leaves the ship next, shielding his eyes from the sun for some moments to get used to the new light. He looks down to the unfamiliar earth beneath his feet, then takes a look around as the others come to this new planet. Steve looks like he barely notices anything around him, Natasha and Barton are leaning on each other. Their physical wounds got healed, the psychological ones will take a while longer. Elena holds Bruce up on his way out. He stumbles on the blue grassy ground, squinting at the reddish sun.

Bruce gets worse with every day though Elena attempts to take care of him. Tony's death had thrown him completely of course. He is mentally unstable as it is, a threat to everyone around him. There is a strange glint in his eye that Thor doesn't like at all. There is still a part of the Hulk somewhere in him, none will convince Thor otherwise.

The air is slightly different but breathable for now. He had not been mistaken in assuming that the trees are untypically high for their standards, the smaller ones being at least a three hundred feet high. The gravity is less than half of that of Midgard, Quill tells them when his friends bounce rather than walk. Thor doesn't mind it, it feels almost like Asgard. With Tony's spacesuits they wouldn't walk like this here either. Unfortunately those had been on the September which is still with Thanos.

With a small frown Thor regards his friends. Loki hadn't brought it up after they fled their captivator but Thor sees now finally what he meant. Their weapons are gone except for Mjolnir. What had not been apparent in the artificial light on the Milano gets painfully obvious now in the light of this red star. None of his friends is ready to fight. Even if it hadn't been for Stark's death, they would not proof an obstacle for Thanos on his way to wipe out the galaxy.

There are signs of the physical torture on their skin, visible now in the bright light. They don't look like anyone had gotten a lot of sleep since their capture nor any respite. There is a hopeless aura around them though they carry themselves with a kind of despair Thor had only seen on warriors on their last walk out to the battlefield.

The Avengers are no more.

The realization is bitter but they would win no fight together nor apart. Broken figures without direction drift with the wind in front of him. Yet they do what needs to be done, following their haunted leader.

Loki crouches down close to the group. Thor takes in the tall magnificent trees and the mountains in the background because dwelling on such thoughts will get him no where. The seas are far away and would offer probably no water but some kind of chemicals, however, Thor can hear its waves from afar, doubting the others do. When getting closer to the ground he had seen the gigantic waves forming because of the lacking gravitational pull. It must be a spectacle to behold, one he would not mind seeing in person to distract himself from the problems at hand. He bends down to inspect the strangely colored grass. It feels not like grass, it has an entirely different texture. The blue irritates him, it has a little purple tinge. The leafs are long and feathery, it is like touching thick silk. They erect themselves on their own again after being crushed by their boots. He wonders how the trees would look up close and how different they would feel from the ones of his homeworld.

Thor wants to believe his husband that the Soul Stone is hidden somewhere on this exotic planet but he finds doubt in himself. Loki is so bend on destroying the Titan that he can't think clear anymore though he claims otherwise. The Power Stone could have misled them because here there certainly would be no life forms apart from the trees and leafs of grass. At least no one who would lead them to the source of power on this planet. Furthermore Loki is drained, half mad with grief. Who could say if he read the signs correctly.

Groot seems to enjoy himself as he jumps up and down in the low gravity, vanishing more often than not in the higher grass patches. His furry companion watches him play while they wait for Loki to point their way. A small smile tugs at the corner of Thor's lips. He wonders if he would ever see his child playing like this.

Thor's eyes drift up to the orange sky. It begins to feel oppressing to stand here unguarded on this strange planet. Thor feels lost in space like the way home is cut off, maybe because it is. If they would fail there would, for one, be no home to return to and second, they wouldn't live to mourn it. And even in the unlikely case that they would win, they would return home as strangers. What they had seen would not simply leave their minds to allow them a calm happy life. The Chitauri had been a minor bump on the road compared to what might be ahead of them.

Suddenly the red light isn't gentle anymore nor soothing. It looks like the spilled Asgardian blood in the palace, reminding him of his guilt. Thor thinks he might be sick and quickly looks down again to the ground. He fancies feeling the spinning of the planet beneath his feet. He wants this all to be finally over, knowing he would regret this wish sooner or later.

Thor seeks to distract himself and walks over to Bruce and Elena. He takes a breath to ask her if she can detect any danger or someone else on this planet in nowhere. But before he can do any more than to open his mouth, Elena raises a finger to her mouth, indicating him to be quiet. She looks around to the tree line, then back at him, shaking her head. The blond follows her gaze with his eyes to scan the area himself, trying to make out prying eyes. He doesn't see any but that is no proof that there are none. Thor doesn't know what she feels is looming there, however, he is willing to put his faith in her abilities for now and stays quiet.

Loki eventually stands up and motions them to follow him. Apparently Thor isn't the only once assuming that sound would carry far on this world. If he can hear the sea from this point, no doubt half the planet must have already heard their landing with the ship. He leads them straight to the north where the forest is closest.

The trees tower them easily. There are no visible branches low enough to climb the completely round and smooth. Almost none of the sickly red light reaches the ground for which Thor is glad. He doesn't want to linger on this planet any longer than strictly necessary so he is glad they are finally moving.

Quill had gotten some heavy boots for the mortals so they would be able to walk normally and not jump from one to the next free space and risk getting injured. Loki sets a fast pace. No one dares to speak.

Though the air is breathable for the mortals, Thor quickly feels the difference. Walking is a lot more tiring than it has any right to be because of the thinner atmosphere. Lady Natasha and Clint already are lingering behind the group where Thor assists them by holding them upright. It is as if walking in the high mountains of Alfheim. After some while even Loki is forced to pause to catch his breath again. Thor offers up his water because he is the only one not already tired out from their walk. They don't want to part and leave a part of their team behind, that consensus they reach without words, not in this hostile environment.

How long they walk, Thor cannot tell. The sun seems to not move at all, maybe because the planet doesn't turn very fast. Who could tell how long a day is lasting here?

There is no undergrowth in this forest nor can they hear any birds or other animals. The sounds of the sea are drowned out by the gusting of the wind in the leaves but none of them falls down and none litter the ground still covered in the blue grass.

Finally the trees thin out slowly but surely, the trunks get a little slimmer and the light gets a little brighter. After an eternity they reach the edge of the forest. Thor realizes that, whatever Loki had felt, it is in front of them and very much alive.

Smoke curls into the sky.

'What the-', Quill mutters under his breath, a frown on his face. Thor can't hide his own confusion nor does he try to. This whole situation is too weird for his mind to comprehend for a moment.

There is a small house standing in the middle of a small clearing, no more than two hundred meters in diameter. It is made of yellow bricks. The smoke coming from the little chimney makes the question if someone is home, redundant. The house wouldn't have looked out of place on Midgard either. There appear to be even curtains in the windows. The only thing it is lacking is a front lawn.

Loki, the leader of their small expedition, had stopped dead on his tracks behind the last trees though Thor doesn't think they are still hidden. Whoever lives here at the end of the universe had either seen them or doesn't care for them. He isn't sure which one would be preferable.

'It's in there.' Loki must have reached the same conclusion as Thor had just moments ago because he doesn't bother keeping his voice low. His eyes are fixed on the house in front of them. The blond Asgardian had been right, the sound echoes across the clearing.

'You sure?', Quill asks apprehensive. 'The house doesn't look dangerous.', he points out. Thor has to agree silently but has the feeling he could be very wrong about this.

'Is it guarded?', Gamora asks instead, ignoring her teammate.

Loki nods in answer to both questions. 'I would think so.' It would be illogical to assume otherwise. He attempts to assess the danger from outside, maybe Loki is picking up something.

'There is just one person inside.', Elena interrupts their musings. She still holds Bruce upright. Thor turns to her surprised. Just one person to guard the as of now most precious object in the universe? Maybe they don't know how valuable it is, Thor muses. Something most certainly doesn't feel right about this though. The choosing of this hut on this distant planet is uncanny.

'The only thing left to ask, friend or foe?', Loki says with calm. Thor isn't as calm and relaxed as his husband. He doesn't like this whole thing one bit but since they are already here for the Stone, there is no reason to back down now. There had already been signs of Thanos being far too close to them for their liking and if they wouldn't dare approach that lonely stranger now, Thanos wouldn't mind knocking on his door and destroying the whole planet just to get what he has set his mind on. Maybe Loki would prefer that strategy as well. The mad glint in his eyes is reason enough to believe so.

With confidence and without hesitation the ravenette starts striding towards the door. There is no reason to delay and making a plan would be pointless since they are clueless as to what they are walking into. Thor decides to stand right behind Loki, abandoning the duty of half carrying their friends in favor of protecting them all with their most powerful weapon. The others seem to get the drift and stay back to observe what would happen. Should the individual be a friend indeed they wouldn't want to scare them. And a foe Loki and Thor wouldn't be able to take on, would be too strong for them anyway. At least than they would stand a chance of fleeing. He doesn't want to leave his husband alone to this task, however. He might do something stupid and endanger their whole mission with his current mood.

Thor's hand unintentionally drifts to Mjolnir's handle when Loki knocks on the wooden door. It is completely surreal. It unnerves him to no end. Loki seems to sense his mounting discomfort and turns half around, glaring pointedly at Mjolnir, then at Thor, signaling him that for now they are on a friendly mission. They wouldn't want to start a fight with the being possibly wielding the Soul Stone, and with that being able to erase them from the surface of the universe without so much as a move of their hand.

Thor has to resist the urge to pull Loki back when the door opens slowly. What creatures may live on the edge of a planet like this? Just because there is oxygen in the atmosphere doesn't mean they have to look anything like them. On Xandar they were lucky, Thor knows that.

Inside the house it is much darer compared to the sun-flooded area they are occupying. Thor can only see the shape of the being in the doorway for the moment. Loki tilts his head in front of him as a blond man steps out of the house, a polite smile on his face. He looks a little puzzled, surprised to have visitors. The being looks exactly like a Midgardian.

'Hello, strangers.', he greets them in a dark, melodic voice. The being sounds exactly like a Midgardian.

Loki bows shortly to the stranger. He seems as irritated by his appearance as Thor is. He is clearly not from this planet but must be a Midgardian. But how is this possible? 'We are Thor and Loki of Asgard.', he introduces them.

He nods. 'What are you doing here if you are from Asgard?', he asks, a tilt of his head indicating that he is really curious. He steps out of the house, taking in their looks. There still is a little tension in his stance.

Loki hesitates barely. 'We are looking for something.', he evades the question. He is done talking, that much Thor can tell. Loki looks ready to pounce and kill that man at a moment's notice.

'And what would that happen to be?' The stranger leans on the doorway, eyeing them strangely. Thor doesn't trust him a bit. He seems to notice Thor's intense stare.

'I'd first like to know whom we are dealing with.', Thor states. He crosses his arms to resist the urge to grab Mjolnir. He doesn't seem hostile but Thor can't shake the feeling he is some kind of danger to his friends. He is more powerful than he lets on.

'You knocked at my door, may I remind you.', the stranger says with a smile. Loki's hands clench to fists. The blond stranger isn't offended though. ''My name is Adam. I don't get many visitors out here, so you will have to excuse my bad manners. Please, do come in. I promise I don't mean any harm.', he says, his posture finally relaxing.

'We are not alone.' Loki looks over his shoulder to where their companions had stayed behind.

Adam whistles low. 'The more the merrier, I guess. Are they also Asgardians?', he inquires.

'No.', Loki clarifies. 'They are from Earth, or Terra.' The words sound strange on his tongue but Thor ignores the pinching in his heart.

Adam sighs deeply, looking away for a moment. Then he nods. 'Alright.' Resigned he motions them all to come closer, then leads them inside. Their Midgardian friends are glad to have a better place to rest than the forest floor. Thor enters the house, thinking they would all never fit. His worries are unnecessary though, the rooms are spacious enough to house them all comfortably. There is a small kitchen through which they enter a big room with a multitude of different objects Stark had introduced them to as well.

After introductions are exchanged, Adam seats them around a table. Apparently his claim to not have visitors is true indeed. He seems at loss at what to do now. This house had probably never been seen by any soul apart from its owner. He asks for refreshments, the offer is politely rebuked.

Adam sits down at the end of the table, his arms propping up his head. 'So, how did you find me?', he asks conversationally, apparently having accepted his fate as host.

His words puzzle Thor. He frowns, contemplating how the stranger could assume they are there for him. Admittedly, he seems to be stronger than Thor first assumed but compared to what they are looking for, this Adam is of little consequence. Most of his tired friends don't even notice.

'What do you mean?', Steve asks. His voice is hoarse, he hadn't used it often since Tony's death. There are shadows under his eyes but his eyes are blazing.

Adam frowns slightly. 'You are here because you found me. Aren't you?' He looks around, suddenly insecure about their intentions.

Loki chances a glance at Steve, then turns back to the owner of the house. 'No. We didn't even know we would find you or anyone for that matter. Why would we be looking for you?', he asks the blond. Suspicion had found its way into the voice of the ravenette.

Whatever was left of Adam's composure is gone now. He is completely confused, eyeing them now as if they all lost their minds. 'I-' He seems lost for words. 'No matter. What are you looking for?', he attempts to change the topic.

But now Steve's interest is piqued. 'Who are you?'

'You just reacted to us strangely when you heard our friends are from Terra.' Loki is suspicious now. He openly frowns at their host. His patience must be wearing thin.

Adam seems lost for words for a few moments. His eyes flit from one to the next, scrutinizing them as if assessing if they deserve to get the answer. Their evaluation must have been in the positive. 'I thought Earth was looking for me and you were here to bring me back.'

'No. Earth is gone.', Steve's voice sounds hollow when he says it. Neither of them had had time yet to fully comprehend their loss. Adam looks down at the table briefly as if in pain. 'Why would you think so?', he inquires, looking up again from the table.

'I.. I fled from Earth years ago. I thought these scientists would have sent out search parties for me.' Adam apparently believed they came here on purpose to recapture him. Thor wonders what these scientists did to him and how he had gotten here. There is no time and no need to know though. The whole issue seems to be uncomfortable to Adam and Thor sees no reason to press the matter.

'I do believe we have no knowledge of your existence.', Loki says after some seconds. Maybe Stark or Banner would have had knowledge about him but neither of them can give them these information now. Loki almost sounds sorry. Thor realizes Loki is trying to assess the value of the stranger to use him in the upcoming battle.

A smile crosses Adam's face. 'Really? That's, er, good, I mean sad. But.. You understand, I hid almost my whole life and now you tell me I have no longer a reason for it.', he explains with a sorrowful smile.

'So you are from Earth?', Thor asks, trying to make sense to all of this. Why would anyone hide from Midgard and bother to go so far away to a distant and lonely planet? Maybe recruiting him wouldn't be the worst idea though Thor doubts Adam's intellect.

Adam nods reluctantly, still the relief is still visible on his face. 'I was.. I come from there.', he evades. Steve seems to get the hint and brings the conversation back to its original path.

'We are looking for an artifact.', he tells their host. 'You might be able to help us with that.' Loki had already detected the presence of the Soul Stone in this hut, there is only a nonexistent chance that Adam doesn't know it. He only might not know what it is or what powers he holds in his hands with it.

Adam doesn't deny knowledge as Thor expects though. 'You mean my orange crystal?', he asks immediately. 'I wondered whom it belongs to.' He stands up from the table and goes over to a separate room, coming back seconds later with a small wooden box. 'You mean this, don't you?'

When Adam opens the box an orange glow fills the room within the blink of an eye. The casualness with which Adam shows them such a powerful item shows Thor that he doesn't know what he is holding in his hands. Thor is nevertheless breathless for a moment, taking in the beauty of the last Infinity Stone. The glow dims down until he can see the stone resting on a black cloth. There is a noticeable hum in the air, pressing down on the eardrums.

'I found it when I first got here.', Adam explains, setting the box down on the table so they could all see it. 'My little haven. Why are you looking for it?', he asks. His dream stare has been resting on the glow, now it returns to his guests.

'Do you know what this is?', Loki asks quietly. Nevertheless his voice carries through the silence in the room induced by the Soul Stone. It is like a living creature which is sleeping. Thor doesn't want to wake it. Adam notices their discomfort and closes the box. The humming stops immediately. Thor is relieved.

Adam tilts his head. 'It transports one to that beautiful place.', he says nonchalantly.

'You used it?', Loki sounds alarmed, worried about the possibility this stranger had used an artifact capable of wiping out the universe. Thor had sat up taller. Elena tensed as well when the words left him. He can't have meant what he said surely?

'Yes, of course. Not often.', he says as if that would make things better. 'I used it to visit my haven.' He smiles at them as if to say that he didn't mean any harm but is sorry if he overused what he obviously thinks is theirs.

Loki looks like he might faint. 'A haven?', Thor hears Elena asks nonetheless. She seems more puzzled by this development than worried.

'Yes, I can't really describe it. There are so many impressions, it is not a clear picture.', he apologizes.

Elena has a half smile on her face. 'Fascinating.'

Adam frowns. 'Is this not what you were looking for?', he asks.

Loki seems to have gotten over the initial shock. 'Yes, it is.' He sighs. It is most fortunate that Adam isn't overly protective of it. 'We've been looking for it.' And they are not the only ones.

'What do you need it for?', he asks. 'Surely the world outside of this planet can't be so bad.', he jokes.

'It is worse than you think.', Thor mutters gloomily. 

xXxXxXx

 **Hi there. Thanks for all the new favorites and follows. :O Guys. You quite shocked me there. A special shout out to juls-emo for your beautiful review. Kisses and hugs to all readers.**

 **Just a little more (6 chapters and an epilogue). So we should be done on time before New Year. Yay.**

 **Till next week!**


	74. Chapter 71 Showdown

Showdown

 _I planted a seed of hatred in my heart. I swore it would grow to be a massive tree whose roots would strangle them all.  
Ruta Sepetys, Between Shades of Gray _

After they have told their host about the biggest threat to the universe as of this moment though without mentioning the Infinity Stones yet, they still aren't sure if Adam is friend or foe. Thor is just sure he has not the slightest clue of what it is he has in his possession. Something deep inside the Asgardian had reverberated when he had set eyes on the Soul Stone, but if it was a warning or an invitation, Thor can't tell.

Actually they have little time to spare. Thanos surely is already on his way here and time is essential in their plan. Loki might be driven by revenge but he is also pragmatic. Would the situation be reversed, Thor doesn't doubt the ravenette would have killed his enemies before advancing in his plan of galaxy wide domination. So surely someone whose plans have been thwarted as often as Thanos' had by them, the purple man must be on their tracks and it is only a matter of time before he would also find his way here. After all Thanos had found the other Infinity Stones on his own and way earlier than any of their team members had even guessed their existence.

They should hurry and stop talking to this strange person on this strange planet to get on with stopping the Titan. Thor knows that this is necessary, they aren't sure yet into what a threat this Adam could turn if threatened, nevertheless he finds himself growing impatient. He cannot fathom how his with revenge obsessed husband can sit here and talk to the owner of the Soul Stone, the very weapon he wants to kill his tormentor with, as if they both wouldn't have a care in the worlds.

'And what has this to do with all of this?' Adam taps the box in front of him. The wind comes in from the windows, billowing the white curtains. The big and airy room feels like outside. The strange smell of the foreign plants come into the room.

'Everything.', is Loki's short answer. His elbows rest on the table, his fingertips are touching to stop his hands from shaking. Here it goes, Thor thinks. His own fingers itch for Mjolnir to take the Stone by force if need should arise.

'You want to flee after everything you told me?', Adam asks exasperatedly. He had been touched when he heard of the destruction of Midgard, making Thor wonder why. He doesn't seem to care much about the universe in general to care for the fate of a single planet. According to Tony though, he can impossibly have come from there though his exterior would suggest it. But what if Tony had been wrong? The longer Thor looks at their host, the more he feels like looking at a Midgardian. Other species just feel different. Still, that doesn't mean he doesn't think Adam could pose a big threat for them. Something is off about him though he refuses to tell the Avengers what it is. Or why he is living alone in this remote corner of the galaxy. That makes him only more suspicious in Thor's opinion.

'Not quite.', Loki lets on. 'Your talisman can do much more than that. That is why we traveled all the way.' Adam nods as if he assumed so much already.

Thor patience starts to wear thin. Loki must sense the change in his mood because he turns to him for a moment, making eye contact, trying to calm his husband with it. No one would have guessed that the same calm ravenette had not half a day ago raged on a ship and planned the execution of his enemy with a rage that rivals Thor's own in battle. Yet, Thor can feel the fire burning deep inside Loki, can see that he is losing his patience as well, with Thor however and not with their host. The blond Asgardian frowns briefly, then sighs in defeat. Diplomacy had never been his stronghold.

'So you want it?', Adam sums it up. Loki turns back to him. Thor sits back to watch them. Adam doesn't seem offended by this revelation nor particularly likely to attack them to defend the Stone. He feels tired by all of this, maybe he gets to old for this. At least that's what his father would have said.

'Yes.', Steve interrupts. His jaw is squared as are his shoulders. There is a coldness in him Thor had never perceived before, making him wonder if it had always been there and he had just missed it with all the righteous behavior covering it.

Loki barely acknowledges the interruption. 'And we are not the only ones being after it.'

Thor wonders what he is playing at but something changes on Adam's face, something akin to sympathy and understanding. Even without saying he had realized there would be only one other person after it and only one reason for them to warn him of Thanos. Longingly he gazes at the closed wooden box containing the Soul Stone for a few moments, then he sighs, looking up again. It's a defeated expression on his face.

'It does not belong with me anyway.', he states with a half-smile. It had kept him company in this loneliness for the past who knows how many years. Thor is silently impressed he is willing to give it up at all without a fight. There must be more good in him than the blond gave him credit for. Loki still knows how to best play people. He had known Adam would feel for Midgard and have sympathy for the rest of the galaxy, enough to give up his most prized possession because it is the right thing to do.

Adam shoves the box in Loki's direction before he has time to regret his decision. Thor feels sympathy for the man and switches into Asgardian so their comrades wouldn't judge him too harshly for his soft heart in a situation like this.

'Maybe we could return it.', he suggests. When Loki looks up, Thor can't decide if he is listening attentively or is trying not to lose his patience. 'It seems to be safe here with him. I doubt we've seen what he is capable of.'

'And I doubt it will need much protection after these events.', Loki says with the raise of an eyebrow. 'We can talk about this later.' He turns away and stands up, then hesitates when he reaches out for the box. 'But the idea isn't terrible, brother.' He is watching Thor out of the corner of his eye.

Adam had stood up as well when Loki had. Their companions stay seated, too tired from the journey. The higher gravity must be more of a strain than they all thought. Drax and Gamora don't seem to mind though.

'I thank you, Adam.', Loki says with the hint of a smile. Thor believes that only he can see the gleeful edge playing around the corner of his lips, the cruel streak in it. He had gotten what he wanted, the ultimate weapon in this universe, and he tries to play it down so Adam wouldn't come to think he might have given it to the wrong people. Thor isn't too sure himself if Loki is the best person to handle such a dangerous item at the moment.

Their blond host inclines his head the slightest bit. 'There is no need to thank me. I have done nothing. If you require any assistance though, I would gladly offer my services.', he finishes.

To say Thor is a little surprised would be an understatement. 'You want to participate in a war that is not yours?', he asks before he can stop himself.

He seems to be surprised by Thor's surprise. 'I am not a completely unskilled warrior.' Adam points out, a corner of his lips quirking up. 'I would not say I have much experience but I might still be of some use.'

Thor doesn't has to look at his friends to know that they couldn't say no to the hermit. They are hopelessly outnumbered and though Adam wouldn't change that, if it makes him feel a little better about the end of the universe, Thor will not stop him. Should he prove to be a valuable asset, that would just be another plus. It might even boost the team moral to have a new member after so many were lost in the destruction of Midgard and Asgard.

He nods once when the sky darkens. There is a loud crash from outside like thunder. Adam looks alarmed. Thor remembers the clear red sky on their way to his house and instantly knows something is terribly wrong. Mjolnir vibrates with energy that isn't its own. They rush outside just in time to see one of the big spaceships cross the sky above them.

Loki stands with his mouth open and stares up. Belated Thor realizes that while they have been talking with Adam on this planet, hours, maybe days or even more time must have passed in the rest of the universe given the high gravity. Enough time for Thanos to find them and send his armada with the Tesseract.

Mjolnir finds her way into Thor's hand, not that he believes her to be of much use. There are now more ships visible in the sky, covering the weak star light. They are surrounded, there is no doubt about that.

Quill tries to contact Rocket who stayed with Groot behind on the Milano. Thor knows it is pointless as do the others. He had let them flee one time, Thanos wouldn't make such a mistake again. The loud crash must have been the destruction of the Milano, the cloud of smoke rising in that direction is another indicator of this. He hopes that maybe the rest of Quill's crew was able to get off board before Thanos had it destroyed but he is not willing to make a bet.

At least this means Thanos doesn't has the Power Stone yet. He possibly doesn't even know they have it. Had it, that is Thor reminds himself. It is in a strong containment and that wouldn't have been destroyed by the explosion. They would have to find it before Thanos could get his hands on it. With the other four Stones it wouldn't take him long to sense its energies.

Apparently Loki seems to think along similar lines as he turns back to the house in a flash to get his hands on the Soul Stone which he must have left behind in the hurry. Thor can only agree with him. It is their only weapon against Thanos, their only chance though without the Power Stone it might be useless. But suddenly the ground shakes violently before Loki can even reach the door.

Thor feels like something lifts him up though the ground stays beneath his feet. He can't move a single muscle, is bound by an invisible force. Thanos wants to make sure they don't run this time.

The breath is forced out of his lungs, then he drops to the ground. His knees buckle but he can keep himself upright. The other Avengers have no such luck. Thor turns around to look for Thanos because this must be his work. Adam is gone as is Elena who had helped Bruce to the outside. Thor looks up, trying to spot the spaceships circling the planet but can't see any.

Then he notices it.

The sky is blue like the Asgardian sky. They are no longer on Adam's planet. How is this possible? A frown makes its way to his face as Thor stares around but Adam's house is still there, the trees look much the same, the grass is still blue. The effect of the blue sky and the blue ground under is feet is quite unsettling. The mountains in the distance are gone. Thor cannot make out a horizon, an end of this strange world. The giant trees prevent that from happening.

There is a deep reverberating sound though Thor cannot make out any source. Then he recognizes the rumble as a laugh. 'Thanos.' He hadn't noticed Loki regaining his footing and stepping next to him. His hands are clenched to fists, the green eyes cry for murder and blood.

'Where is he?', Thor asks though he doubts Loki knows any more than he does. The ravenette seethes with rage for having been so close to owning the ultimate weapon. He reminds Thor of a caged animal.

'Why don't you turn around, Thunderer?', an overly amused voice state from behind them. Their friends stumble back from where the Titan had materialized out of nowhere.

Thor thinks for a moment he is going to have to hold Loki back from lunging right at him but the ravenette remains frozen at his side. The others of their teams step closer to them now that they are mostly back on their feet.

'Where are we?', Thor demands to know when no other makes a move to address the smiling Thanos.

Thanos tilts his head as if the question would confuse him. 'Why, you are always running from me. You seem to excel at it, I will give you that. But it is quite boring to follow you through the galaxy.' A smirk spreads on his face once more. 'You know as well as I do that you would not stand a chance against me in a real battle. And I am about to prove it.' It is no real answer to Thor's question but it tells him enough.

Thanos raises his left hand, the golden gauntlet reflects the sunlight. Four stones are glistening. Thor's eyes fixate on the red gleam of the Aether. A pocket universe, his brain supplies after some seconds, that's where they are.

'You have been long enough in my way. But I will not let it be said I was afraid to face you or that I only destroyed you with the help of these.' He looks up at them. Steve, Natasha, Bruce and Barton had come to stand side by side with the three Guardians and the Asgardians. 'I am benevolent and am willing to fight you.' He looks like a cat looking forward to play with the captured mice. 'You may even choose a weapon to fight me with. You have proven most resilient. I honor that. You might fight for your lives before I take them. No one will take that pleasure from me.' That's why he hadn't brought his forces with him into this universe, Thor thinks. He wants no one to say he hid behind them.

He grins at them widely as if he would be doing them a great service. Thor recognizes pride in his actions, the illogical urge to claim he had slain them without cheating though he has the power to kill them with a wave of his hand. It is pointless because the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy would never gain the upper hand in a struggle to Thanos' terms. The weapons Thanos had taken from them during their captivity now appear before their feet, an empty promise of safety, a taunt to arm themselves against his supremacy. Thor's eyes are caught by the crashed helmet of the Iron Man armor. Its parts lie scattered among their other personal items.

Thor grips Mjolnir tighter. He wouldn't be a warrior, a hero, if he would back down just because the fight is already decided in his enemy's favor. There is no way they would win and yet Thor won't give up. His friends seem to agree. They pick up their weapons from the ground to face the common foe. It's exactly what Thanos wants, yet it is the only thing they could do, face death with their head held high.

Thanos' smile widens. He is looking forward to this fight.

Thor is looking forward to direct Mjolnir at his head. He would probably just stop it or evade it entirely with his magic gems, Thor would still feel a lot better.

'You're afraid of us.', Steve states. He sounds calmer than ever after Tony's death. His eyes are fixed on the red and golden helmet. Thor has a bad feeling about this.

Thanos huffs. 'What would I be afraid of? I already crushed your comrade without so much as lifting my hand. You are no match.'

Steve's grip on his shield tightens.

'He was more clever, that mortal, than you are. He knew when to give up and back down.', Thanos continues. His smile grows even more if possible. What is he trying to do? Surely he doesn't expects them to react to his taunts? Thor narrows his eyes. He doesn't like it any more that Thanos dares talk about their fallen friend. He had been quite shocked when seeing Tony for the first time after they got captured. Loki had tried to warn him but for some strange reason Thor had believed it wouldn't be so bad. It had been worse than the Asgardian had thought and feared.

Steve grits his teeth. 'You don't know what you are talking about.', he hisses. The blond looks livid.

Thanos has the audacity to laugh. 'And you do? You know his darkest sides? You merely caught a glimpse.', Thanos taunts. 'But it matters little. You will soon join him. If you stood no chance with your Iron Man, what chance will you stand without him? I will crush you like I broke him.', he promises, his voice dropping an octave.

Steve shakes with rage, gripping his shield tightly. 'You didn't break him.', Steve whispers, too low for Thanos or their Midgardian friends to hear. 'And surely won't break us.' The next words are too low for even Thor to catch. Loki takes a step towards Steve but it's too late.

The blond mortal lunges at Thanos and it is all Thor can do to keep Loki back from joining him. Helplessly they watch him raise his shield to defeat Thanos on his own. Loki hangs in his arms and doesn't even fight Thor's grasp. Thanos isn't fazed in the least. Seemingly without effort he blocks Steve's shield, taking it from his grasp.

'Steve!'

Steve doesn't react other than starting to beat Thanos with his bare hands, rage and sadness fuels his movements. Thanos suddenly grows tired and grabs the blond by the throat, lifting him up as if he weighs nothing. Thor wants nothing more than to join the fight but it already too late.

Before any of them can move a muscle, think a thought through to the end, there is the unmistakable sound of bone being broken and the blond hero that was once the proud Captain America is tossed to the ground like a doll.

Shock renders the Avengers motionless for some long seconds.

'You..'

Thor catches Clint's arm before he can throw his life away like this as well. Thanos doesn't look in their direction but at the crumpled heap of their friend. He is dead and there is nothing they can do for him now. Thanos regards him with mild curiosity.

Clint turns to Thor, his eyes burn with rage. Thor has to remind himself that without his hearing aids, Clint almost hears nothing. 'But he..' Clint points at the Captain, feeling helpless.

'You can not help him.', Thor whispers. He shakes his head. There is no point wasting their lives and attacking again without a plan, revenge or not. Loki had sunken to his knees

'I hoped you to be more resourceful.' Thanos sighs as if regretting killing their friend with such easiness. He looks at the assembled heroes again. His eye gets caught by Bruce. 'I forgot, the tamed beast. It seems only fair.' Thanos barely moves the left hand as Bruce's eyes flutter and he collapses on the floor. The signature green flashes over his skin.

'He is merely toying with us.', Thor states. 'We need a plan, otherwise we and the universe are lost.', he whispers in Loki's general direction. His husband always comes up with a plan in the most helpless situations. Clint had given up his fight against the Asgardian. Thor had seen quite a few warriors fall in his time of battle, it had never stopped hurting. It's not fair that their friend had to die alone but Thor had acted on an impulse to keep the others from joining the fight. Nothing would be gained, only more lives wasted. Sometimes he had seen the same expression that Steve wore, on faces of Asgardian warriors. It had never ended well when they entered a fight. The will to live had left Steve the moment Tony had died, maybe even before, and if they are honest with themselves they all knew it. They couldn't afford to lose any more defenders of the universe to a suicidal attempt at revenge. The soldier had fought his whole life, it is only right to end in battle.

'If we meet him on his terms, we are already lost.', Loki says. Thor is just glad he didn't waste his life in a useless attempt to avenge their friends. The hot rage must have cooled now that his brilliant plan did not work out. The Soul Stone is on the other side of the barrier as well as the Power Stone. This couldn't have failed in a worse way.

'I must agree, brother.' Thor almost laughs about the surrealism of this. It's not fair to blame Loki for this failed attempt, it had been their best and only shot and it failed. And yet Thor finds himself wondering where they could possibly be now if they hadn't stayed back because of this mad quest of revenge.

Gamora had remained quiet through their encounter. Now Thor concentrates on her. She was Thanos' daughter, adopted or not. Surely she must have an idea what they can do and how to beat him. As a trained and skilled warrior she notices his attention shifting to her. 'I can distract him so you could run. I don't know if it will do you much good.', she offers without letting her eyes leave Thanos for a single second. Thor cannot even begin to guess what Thanos must have done to her to make her like this. How much resentment she must feel for him.

'He won't use the Stones to find us. He wants to feel like he alone accomplished this.', Loki reminds her. He licks his lips. He seems to hesitate. 'You don't have to do this. It's..'

'Suicide?', Gamora interrupts him. She shrugs. 'This is my job. What he created me for.' Gamora pulls out her sword. 'Just make sure to give him my best.'

Loki nods, then she is already on her way with big steps to the person who killed her parents and turned her into a deadly assassin. Bruce is by now beating the ground in an attempt to regain control. It will be of little use. They aren't exactly in a stress-free environment. Without giving Thanos the opportunity to realize what they are planning, Thor yanks Bruce up by the arm and drags him with them to the edge of the forest. Natasha and Barton follow him. Drax stays behind. Thanos had indirectly or in whatever matter killed his wife and daughter. He wouldn't run now that he has him face to face.

Thor feels Thanos' eyes on them when they reach the first trees. He had seen through their transparent diversion but he wouldn't give chase until he had taken care of his wayward daughter, that much Thor is sure off as he hauls Bruce after the others, trying to keep up. He grows heavier by the moment and attempts to extract himself from Thor's grasp but the blond doesn't give in. He won't leave his friend behind, danger or not. Without Hulk and Banner they don't stand a single chance.

'Fight it.', he tells Bruce when he stumbles. The sounds of fighting reach them every so often. Thor briefly wonders how big this world is and if they can outrun Thanos after all or if they just return to the scene of action. Maybe the Titan merely created a cube they wouldn't be able to leave.

'I am trying!' His voice is already deep and raspy. Thor curses under his breath and drags him along, following the rest of their disbanded team. He racks his brain for the sentence Natasha had often used to calm the Hulk after a fight but nothing comes to his mind. Thor shakes his head.

He almost falls when a loud voice booms from above them. There is a heavy sigh. 'She was my favorite daughter.' The words must be transmitted over this whole world as Thor sees no trace of Thanos close by. He sounds almost sorry. Almost. 'Nevertheless, in honor to her pointless sacrifice I will grant you this. A few hours of reprieve. Then I can enjoy your deaths more. Mourn your dead. You are not going to miss them for long.', he threatens. No word about Drax is said as if the giant wouldn't count.

As sudden as the voice had come, it is gone again. Thor notices that the sun is setting rapidly. It would be too dark to hunt them down anyway, Thanos merely doesn't want them to think tracking them in darkness would be beneath him.

In front of them he can see Loki and the others stop and sink down on the tree trunks. The mortals are out of breath, having used up all their residual energy in their flight and the witnessing of their friend's death.

Bruce is still fighting the transition, barely hanging on. Thor hopes the Hulk would be more reasonable and not go on a rampage. He can only guess how much Tony's death enraged him. He doubts though the green rage monster would even remember how he got here.

'We should rest here for the night.', Loki says with a look at the rapidly darkening sky. Some nod weakly, the others already settle on the ground. A grunt from Thor's right confirms that the doctor lost his desperate fight but that Hulk settles down as well.

Thor sits down on the ground. There won't be a need for a guard, Thanos could just pop up right in front of them without making a sound warning them and kill them all with a snap of his fingers. They are in dire need of their strength. Not that it will do them much good.

Quill sits close to him, his head hanging.

'I am sorry for your loss.', Thor says quietly to not disturb the others. He believes not that he could sleep if he tried. They had to mourn their fallen friends yet, that much he would agree with Thanos about. He hadn't known the mortal's companions too well but he thinks they were great and capable warriors.

Quill shrugs. 'I am sorry for yours too.' He runs his hands over his face. 'They at least knew what was coming.'

'We can all just hope to face death as they have done.', Thor says, remembering the brave young warrior who gave her life free willingly to offer them a chance and the man, desperately seeking revenge for his family. Thor wonders if that could have been him should Loki have died.

'I just wonder what Steve has been thinking.' Apparently he is done talking about his female friend and his comrade. Thor does not urge him, knowing how painful it can be. In any case, Thor had known Steve better than Gamora and Drax. 'I mean, I would have expected this of Drax to just rush in without thinking about it for a second but..' Quill trails off.

'He was thinking about it, I assure you that. Ever since Tony's death he has contemplated it, I assume.', Thor interjects. 'There was nothing to look forward to. His lover gone, his planet turned to ashes.' Thor shakes his head. 'Even if we would win, he knows everything will have changed. There is no way to go back to how things had been. Do not judge him for losing hope in a situation like his.' Steve might not have meant to die but he certainly hadn't cared about it a great deal. Thor understands his situation. Even months after Loki's presumed death he had wanted to throw himself from the abyss and end his suffering and Thor yet had had a family and a world to hold him up.

Quill purses his lips. 'It is hopeless, isn't it?'

Thor nods. 'And yet we will fight. For those in this universe who can't defend themselves. For the generation yet to be born. For all the stars and the planets and the people out there. For Steve. For Gamora. For Drax. For ourselves.'

xXxXx

'What the..?' Adam stares at the space where seconds earlier the team of the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy had stood, looking up at the spaceship above their heads. 'Where are they?', he asks the only person around.

The brunette female turns around to give him a challenging look. She seems highly uncomfortable in this situation. 'We will all die.', she states as a fact.

Adam blinks rapidly. The female – Elena, he now remembers – turns her gaze upwards once more, observing the next passing ship. They are far away, up in the orbit Adam knows and yet they look so big from the floor.

'Will you fight?', she asks without changing her position. Something falls into place on her face. Determination. Adam doesn't hesitate for a moment.

'Yes.'

That is what he was made to do. To do the right thing, to fight for the weak and defend them. He won't survive this fight, not, if it is just the two of them against this armada above their heads. What they can do at all to destroy just a single of the cruisers above their heads, Adam doesn't know. He doubts they will be any help. He has a ship but surely they would be blasted out of the sky the instance they would leave the ground.

Despite all of this, he is going to fight. Adam had kept out of the affairs of the galaxy for long enough. He even looks forward to it.

'Prepare your weapons.' Elena still glares at the ships above but a sword had found its way to her hand already. Adam enters his house to get his own weapons of choice. He glances at the box on the table. Something is different but he doesn't has time to dwell on it. On his way out though, Adam pauses and picks up his beloved treasure. It shouldn't lie open like this. According to his new friends it is a powerful weapon, needing protection though that had not been what they had wanted it for. He had sensed they planned to use it as a weapon, just as the scientists had wanted to use himself as a weapon against the enemy.

He doesn't doubt that this time he knows which is the right side to fight for.

Going along with the urge, he flips the lid open to gaze at his treasure one more time only to find the box empty. Adam pauses. Can they have taken it with them, wherever it is they went?

'Adam!'

He drops the box and hurries outside. No time to lose on their way to the rendezvous with death.


	75. Chapter 72 Reality

Reality

 _The real world is where the monsters are.  
Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief _

The real question is not why they are here but why Thanos bothered with creating a pocket universe which they can't escape and take the pains of a night and day cycle in it. Loki had fallen asleep some time ago in the utter darkness of this world. There are no stars, familiar or otherwise. The only light comes from the translucent clouds. Not even a moon or one of the distant planets can be seen. Apparently this world hadn't been created to host them for a long time and isn't quite like Adam's moon though the similarities are striking.

At least they won't be hunted in this almost complete darkness. The only things Loki can make out are the tops of the trees, down here on the ground is no details conceivable. Even his comrades have vanished. Loki doesn't like how the sounds carries through the woods. Every sound that reaches his ears sounds at the same time far away and very close. It is unnerving. Of course it would warn them of anyone, including Thanos, who would close in on the Avengers and Guardians. Or what is left of them.

Damn.

Loki sighs deeply, a sound which will be heard in this universe of darkness and silence in a great distance, he cares not about that, however. Thanos would find them alone because of the rustling of their clothes, the streaming of the air in their lungs. No need to be quiet, he tells himself. There are no animals, no plants in which he feels life in this world. The trees are unnatural, they don't breathe, they don't live. They are pictures of the trees on Adam's world but no more. The air is neither warm nor cold, there is no breeze, no wind is rustling the trees. It is an image of an image, it has no soul nor life. An idea strikes Loki. Maybe Thanos cannot create anything living without the Soul Stone in his possession. This knowledge would do them no good though.

The others are yet asleep. The events have tired them out greatly, the high gravity just adds to their fatigue. They have been running for what felt like hours after Gamora's and Drax's sacrifice.

There is a big shape moving near him, startling Loki. He holds his breath for some long moments before he recognizes that shape as Thor. The blond sits down next to Loki, putting an arm around his shoulders. His thumb traces circles, Thor remains silent. They don't want to wake their friends just yet though they should get moving before the sun rises. Or maybe it doesn't in this universe. Darkness hadn't come slowly either, it fell like a blanket.

Loki's head starts to ache.

Thor calms him by his very presence. The ravenette leans into the touch, closes his eyes because it makes little difference, trying his very best to enjoy this moment. There is nothing more that they can do in this moment. At least Thor had finally realized that Loki had been right all along.

Thor's hand curls around his side, stroking his imperceptible belly. Loki doesn't bother telling him to stop in fear of giving away their secret now that they are in Thanos' realm. It's not that they can run and with any luck they would all be dead by the end of the next day so it matters little if the Titan is in on their secret. Surely he would most willingly trade his mate with the chance to kill Loki with his bare hands. He remembers Thanos' look from a few hours ago. It makes him shiver. He can't know, he doesn't, Loki has to believe that much, or he would no longer care for games like this.

The ravenette is just tired now and would like to just stay here, waiting for Thanos to come and finish him but Thor's little gesture, the light touch, reminds him what he needs to fight for, why he can't just give up. He is afraid, there is no use denying it. The rational part of his brain agrees that there is indeed a reason for that. He needs to fight Thanos despite all that. He isn't sure what to think of the life growing in him but he will defend it, her. Nevertheless, he swore revenge for Tony, for his father, for Asgard. All their lives are forfeit because of the Titan and Loki would no longer take that, pregnant or not. There is nothing left to lose because Thanos holds all the cards.

The only question is now how to trick Thanos in putting at least some of them aside so the Avengers may stand a chance, how tiny it might be. There must be a way or his vision of the next evening would come true. Thanos' pride had already given them this reprieve. A reasonable person would have killed them without warning. Not even the Soul Stone could have changed his might. Norns, not even with the Power Stone and the Soul Stone it was clear that the Avengers would win. He should have killed them, his enemies, the only people standing in his way, but Thanos didn't.

Regarding Steven's death there is no reason to assume he would want them to suffer. Thanos wants to be rid of them, something Loki understands. He wonders what this pocket universe is for him.

The Titan has pride. He wants to tell the universe all he needed to kill the Avengers was to keep them in one place. He will use the Infinity Stones to toy with them in case he won't be able to defeat them single-handedly. That much he wouldn't take before Thanos snaps and kills them simply to be done. He sees it as his right to use the weapons he acquired.

Thor bends down to his ear so he can whisper as quiet as possible. 'Sleep.'

Loki knows what he means but it makes little difference. He shakes his head. He is awake, more awake than ever before. This will be their last battle, none of them would get out of here. It's either them or Thanos. Loki should sleep to be in a better shape by tomorrow, he doubts though he could sleep again. There isn't much time for a plan and that's what they are in desperate need of.

He can feel Thor's sigh though no sound leaves the blond. A kiss is pressed to his black hair, then Thor pulls him closer, wrapping both arms around him and their daughter, a hug that conveys everything that is unsaid.

The morning comes faster than any of them anticipated and just as sudden as the night had fallen. One moment there is barely light and within minutes the whole forest is filled with yellow sunlight, the last proof that they are no longer anywhere near Adam's planet.

The sound still carries but they don't really care in the light of a new day. Just Clint and Quill are still asleep by the time the sun rises so they wake their comrades up to get moving.

'We need a better battle field.', Loki says once they are all on their feet. He looks around to figure out which way to go. His mind had formed a more or less finalized plan of their next steps. It would be risky and they would probably all die but the alternative doesn't look brighter.

'A level terrain or any clear area would be favorable.', Thor agrees. 'Shall I?' He raises Mjolnir to indicate he would look for a good place.

Loki shakes his head. 'No, that would give away our position. Furthermore we don't know how big this world is.' Truth is, he doesn't want to be separated from Thor just now, fearing it might be the last time. Maybe that is selfish but then he doesn't care about that anymore. It is only logical, he tells himself. With Thor their chances are better at defeating Thanos. But they would have to do so on their own terms.

'We should stay hidden.', Natasha suggests, crossing her arms.

'He would have us out in the open in no time. This is his world and we don't have any provisions. I haven't seen water around here nor any food. We would do him a favor.', Loki says. He doesn't feel any hunger yet, neither had the others complained. His appetite would be lost anyway because of their friends' death so Loki isn't sure about the reason why.

Reluctantly the redhead nods. 'So, which way to go?'

'I don't believe there is much difference. Thanos could be anywhere.' Still Loki turns away from the direction they came from, facing away from where Thanos had been yesterday. He surely didn't stay with the body of his adopted daughter but it is as good a direction as any. They can't allow him to find them too early or Loki's whole plan would never work. It might yet fail spectacularly.

Thor takes the lead with Hulk taking up the rear. The ground neither falls nor rises but because of the tree shapes it is difficult to see ahead. Distance is difficult to assess in any way in this world. Already their sleeping place has vanished in the uniformity of the forest. They might be walking right into Thanos but there are no others sounds apart from their own feet. There is nothing to be done about that. Somehow the distinct feeling of being watched refuses to leave Loki, and he isn't the only one who feels that way.

'Why hasn't he killed us already?', Quill mutters darkly. He clutches his regained weapon as if it is the only thing standing between him and certain death. Maybe it is. He scans the tops of the trees above them. Loki forces himself to not look up as well. He feels the change of atmosphere. Thanos is losing his patience. He must be looking for them without the help of the Stones.

'Don't talk him out of it.', Loki says dryly. 'I am counting on it staying like that. Otherwise we can just sit down and await our doom in peace.' It isn't Thanos' plan to merely kill them but to proof to himself that he can do it on his own as the worthy mate for Death. People who want to proof themselves are always the same, Loki had tricked them often enough to know. They walk into traps they know to be traps just to prove their superiority.

'We will face our deaths with dignity.', Clint proclaims after Natasha translated. He doesn't seem to mind their impending deaths that much. Loki respects him for his attitude towards the inevitable. He had also been the first to point out a year ago that the Avengers are the only life he has. Loki is glad to have him at their side either way.

They would fight until there is nothing left to fight for and beyond that. There is absolutely no scenario in which they can win this fight and walk away from it and yet giving up isn't an option. Loki had never considered himself a hero, neither does he now. This is good old fashioned revenge and does not have a selfless motive. It might be more selfish than anything he had ever done including allowing this relationship with Thor. Dying isn't heroic. It's his own pride which lured him into this trap with open eyes and his brain and wits would get them all out of here again.

Loki nods. 'We need to surprise him. This may be the world he created to battle us but we can still gain some advantages. Thanos is going to try to taunt us, to react emotionally and without a plan.', Loki warns them. Already their Midgardian friends are slightly out of breath. He would have to find a way to remedy that fact. Or they would not even get as far as Steve.

'We aren't stupid.', Quill interrupts him, rolling his eyes. Steve is still too close to their mind. He had let Thanos provoke him and had paid with his life for that. There is an uncomfortable silence following his words. Almost no time had elapsed since that incident, no time to process it and grieve their friend even for a short moment. Fatigue had kept them and now the upcoming fight drives their friends from their minds. Loki tries not to feel, not to think, he is merely functioning and planning, plotting, so there would be no reason for regret or sadness. A temporary setback, he tells himself.

Thanos won't forgive them any mistakes. They take a break some while later. Loki takes the time to put some magic on the boots of his friends to enhance their speed and reduce the weight the mortals have to carry. He wonders why they feel fatigue but not thirst or hunger. The wish for water is rather a psychological one than a physiological need.

Hulk keeps in the background though he is clearly agitated and nervous. Every now and then he lashes out at random spots, his face twists in rage. Loki is worried they would lose their greatest asset to his own impatience. Loki doubts Hulk would hold back long enough for them to have a chance of merely fighting Thanos before he attacks the Titan mindlessly. To think he loses is better than to consider the other option, that there really are things he perceives.

Clint sits down next to him and asks what their plan from now on is. Natasha translates for him the best she can but it is no adequate replacement of his ears. Loki had only experienced this silence for a short time and it is already maddening him. How Clint can cope with it every day is not understandable for him. No surprise then, that he wears his hearing aids all the time. They had been destroyed just as Tony's armor and Loki doesn't know any spells to fix his ears, he never cared about healing dramatic long term injuries like that as in a normal battle life and death are more important than hearing. Those injuries were healed by healers later.

Loki tells him to be patient. Either his plan would work, giving them however slight a chance, or they would die before even knowing what hit them as the Midgardian saying goes. Their break is shorter than anyone would like. Anxiety had entered their bodies and slows them almost more than the fatigue had done.

The clearing they reach eventually is rather big and void of any plants apart from grass. It seems as perfect a place as any to wait for their opponent. Loki is sure that Thanos hadn't found them yet but that he is just waiting for them to show themselves. It wouldn't take long.

'Are you ready?', he asks the others, already knowing the answer. They had all been ready since Midgard's destruction, maybe even since the Chitauri invasion.

'Do it.', Natasha says. They all prepare their weapons to ready themselves.

Thor spins Mjolnir a few times to get a feeling for her again. Clint nocks an arrow, pulling the bowstring tight. Natasha activates her stingers. Quill pulls out his guns. Hulk punches the ground, making it vibrate, a low grunt is the only answer he gives. Loki draws a dagger.

Then he raises his hand to the sky to signal their position. The sky lights up for a moment. Thor had already told him in the morning that summoning lightning doesn't work in this world. The clouds aren't normal, manipulable clouds but some strange perversion of them like the trees. Thor felt reminded of the Citadel and the same feeling had crept up on Loki. That Thor is robbed of one of his greatest weapons is no good sign for their upcoming battle. Maybe they are in something like the Citadel, after all it had also been partly created by the Aether. It doesn't calm Loki though to know what they might be up against.

Within moments a dark shadow spreads on the field across from them, a figure steps out from it seconds later. The blue stone still glows when Thanos leisurely flexes the fingers covered by the gauntlet. A smug smile is on his face as if the matter is already settled and he merely has to collect his winnings.

The ground on which he stands is slightly lowered, the Avengers with their companions standing on an almost imperceptible hill. It is the only advantage this land offers and Loki is willing to take it.

'So you decided to face me?'

Thanos voice echoes over the terrain. He hadn't wasted any time in getting here to challenge his enemies. Loki's hairs stand on end. This is it, he tells himself, straightening his back to mentally prepare himself against what follows suit. The anxiety is blown away, now just the giddiness for battle remains.

There is no turning back anymore. The deed is done.

Loki steps forward to silently signal their readiness to face whatever he has in store for them.

Thanos' smile doesn't falter, he seems amused about their display of unity and not threatened. 'I have to admit I thought you would be too afraid to show yourselves. I am glad to find you willing to face death. It saves me a lot of energy wasted on finding you in whichever hole you'd choose to hide.'

'We are not hiding nor will we again.', Loki declares. The deep rumble of his voice makes Loki grab his daggers tighter.

His smirk widens. 'I am delighted.' He tilts his head, watching them with interest. 'So, what is your plan? I know you have one. You're too clever not to have one.' His dark eyes narrow slightly. 'Enlighten me, Loki. Amuse me.', Thanos prompts.

It's too late for a sneak attack which would have been pointless anyway. Loki decides to just rush ahead, surprise him with that. Play at that pride of his. 'Put that Stones away and fight us without them.', he says without wavering for a moment.

'And why would I do that?', Thanos asks. His eyes glimmer in the light of the new day. Loki isn't sure what it is that has made him pause on his way to vengeance but is willing to use it.

'Because you want to destroy us. If you were to use the Stones, you would have already done so without warning us.', Loki challenges him. He can almost hear the shock of the others, it is close to a physical sensation. He had been the one who told them not to talk Thanos into killing them on sight and now he does it himself. It is a calculated risk Loki is willing to take.

'Why should I give up what I rightfully earned? I don't think I will. I fought for the Infinity Stones, I brought worlds to my feet.' With smugness he raises his gauntlet. The Aether glitters like blood, Loki can see it even on this distance. The bright red blood of the millions of Asgardians slain lights up in his mind, clutches his heart in a death grip.

Loki smiles darkly. 'Because I know you can't do it without them.', he states. 'You are afraid of us. Otherwise you wouldn't have brought us here but fought us openly.', he taunts.

'You mean like you fought me openly?' He laughs. It reverberates across the world. 'You never fought me, traitor.', he almost hisses. Good, Loki thinks, he gets angry. 'You always had more luck than skill and would have never stood a chance against me. I could wipe you from the face of the universe with a thought.', Thanos mocks. He tries to keep control over the situation.

'And yet you don't.' Loki's own smirk widens in response.

'You really think I would not win without these?', he asks delighted. 'You challenge me? You forget that it was I who obtained them by myself. I created armies, slaughtered whole worlds without them. There was a time before the Infinity Stones in which I created my empire, not by sitting in a chair and ruling but by taking world upon world and killing whoever stood in my way.'

Loki grins. 'That was a long time ago. We fought your men and always came out victorious.'

'That was luck.', Thanos hisses. His eyes are blazing now as he loses control because of the outrageous statements of Loki. The ravenette isn't sure if it is wise to provoke Thanos like this but it is the only thing he can do to give them a chance.

'You never did anything alone. You didn't even torture me. I think you are afraid of a direct confrontation because you know you will lose.' He puts more emphasis on the last word than needed.

Thanos' eyes narrow further. 'You would die. You will die.', he corrects himself. 'And I will be the one sniffing out your light.', Thanos has his hands clenched to fists. The others behind Loki get nervous, he can feel it.

'You aren't even willing to duel us at our prime or with our full powers.', Loki taunts.

'That is it what you want.', Thanos says, his face turning calculating once more.

'You need us weakened and four Infinity Stones to kill us. That is pathetic and I do not believe that any daughter of mine could ever love such a coward.' Loki says so without malice, merely voices his observations. It will do more than any mockery ever could.

Thanos' eyes flicker down to his belly though at the same time the sky darkens considerably. Loki can tell it is not his husband's work, there is no static in the air. He doesn't has to look up to know that there aren't any more clouds, the sun itself has darkened. Something snapped in Thanos.

Loki knows that Thanos knows that Loki is pregnant already. He isn't sure if that will in any way stop him or make him hesitate when he gets the chance to kill Loki. Probably not.

'If a battle is what you desire, so be it.', Thanos forces out through gritted teeth. 'No one will doubt my absolute victory.' Loki is possibly the only one being able to feel the change of air. Instantly thunder crashes in the distance as magic seeps through the world beneath their feet. The god of thunder had returned and he isn't happy at all.

The trees in their vicinity are gone in a flash, leaving them in a wide arena with grass at their feet. Loki thinks they might even get watched by some invisible force.

'Do your worst, Avengers.', Thanos spits out after some moments. His patience seems to wear thin. He doesn't take off his gauntlet but he holds a blade in his right hand.

'Now?', Thor asks quietly so Thanos wouldn't hear him. Loki nods once. His own daggers had come to his hands, ready to be thrown at a moment's notice. His fingers brush over the backside of Loki's hand when he steps forward as well. The rest of their friends follow his example. Loki looks into their faces, seeing nothing but determination and the will to die for each other.

Loki takes a deep breath. 'Together?'

'Always.', Natasha answers. Loki faces the front again, their enemy hadn't moved an inch, still watches them with thinly veiled anger and hatred. This is it. Together they take a step towards Thanos.

If they would fall, they would do so together.

Mjolnir reaches Thanos before any of the others can start attacking. The Titan barely flinches, just evades a direct hit. Loki collects his magical strength to cast a powerful attack spell. They need to break down his reserve or they would waste their energies overcoming his defense. In the defense they might get an advantage, Thanos might strain himself too much.

Loki races towards their enemy at the same speed as the others.

Quill's gun blast makes contact first with Thanos but there is no effect whatsoever. Still he will not be thwarted. Clint's arrow is stopped midair, then it is flicked aside carelessly. Loki tosses some of his spells at their enemy but there is a sphere around Thanos, made out of cosmic energy, nullifying their effects.

With a wave of his hand Thanos throws a wave of cosmic energy at them. In the last moment Loki can create a counter spell so that they are slowed in their onslaught but not stopped. Nevertheless their weapons aren't doing much damage, at least their physical ones. Thor had overtaken his friends with Mjolnir in hand as soon as it returned after unsuccessfully attacking Thanos. The blond gets more frustrated with each of his blows that Thanos evades. The Titan throws him off balance so Thor is unable to attack him with his full force which not even Thanos can face.

Loki temporarily enhances his own strength to get a direct hit in, one Thanos wouldn't be able to evade with his cosmic energies. He wouldn't be able to trip a master sorcerer as easy as Thor. Too often he had used that spell against the blond himself. Another wave of energy sweeps the others off their feet.

The ravenette crosses the last meters separating him from Thanos. The latter turns around to face him directly. Loki aims his dagger at him, planning to punch him but has to go into defense or risk a direct hit. Thor joins their personal fight, together they try to buy the others some time to get up again. Loki might be immune to Thanos' trickery and Thor used to Loki fighting with this technique, still Thanos manages to throw them off balance every few seconds and tumbling against each other. Centuries of fighting together and they are in each others way more often than not.

Loki's own frustration and rage grow with each passing second in which he doesn't get a hit in. he feels like a bloody beginner who had never faced a real enemy. The more his rage takes over though, the more sloppy and the less refined his fighting style gets.

With a blast Thor is send off further away, Mjolnir following its master without losing a second. Loki attacks in almost blind rage. Thanos brushes him off like a fly, sending Loki off flying, skidding over the grassy ground, leaving a trail. Pain shoots through his back but Loki jumps to his feet. The blow wasn't intended to kill or injure him, merely to show him that he isn't worth bothering.

Thanos isn't getting a reprieve though, the mortals are back on attacking him. Loki shakes his head, slowly gets up again.

Loki tries to attack him as well but is more worried about protecting his friends. He is of more use at long distance fight but seeing the others getting thrown back at each step is maddening. They wouldn't achieve anything like this, not before they would tire at least.

He weaves some protective spells which will stop Thanos' blows from killing the morals at first contact. It is almost more difficult to protect them all than to attack himself so he sticks to this method, then dashes forward to fight Thanos once more. They need to win, to drive Thanos back without wasting more time. With each passing minute their chances of winning dwindle.

Loki signals the others to distract him slightly while Loki goes into a closer distance fight. Thanos doesn't realize what Loki is aiming at yet. Thanos blasts him away to get some distance between himself and Loki's highly aggressive fighting technique. He deals with the mortals, then turns back to finish Loki. The ravenette uses that split second of turning to teleport.

Loki runs a blade through Thanos' abdomen. He is too surprised by having done so, that his plan worked so flawlessly, than to be able to protect himself from the blast. He is tossed back by another energy wave that Thanos creates. It hurts but Loki is awash with victory, he barely feels it. When Loki's sight clears, the Titan had healed himself with his powers and possibly the Aether. His hands are clenched to fists, his teeth are grinding against each other. Loki's brows furrow. This isn't good. He had hoped anyone else could use that moment to finish Thanos but the blast had thrown them all back.

Quite possibly he realizes that he won't be able to win as easily as he thought. Loki doubts that this is a good thing. Their opponent looks angry, fuming.

'This is how you want to win?', he scoffs. 'Why should I bother then with playing to your rules? It is I who holds the power. If that is what you wish..', Thanos mutters. He gives up fighting them with his own powers, he resorts to his Infinity Stones which he sees as a part of his powers. His gauntlet is being raised, then a red light blinds them all.

xXxXx

The second Adam's feet touch the ground, he sinks down to it. It has been quite some time since he had been this drained and tired. He is sure to be able to sleep for a whole week at end.

'Are you okay?', Elena asks jovially. She seems to not mind the fighting at all. They had landed on a deserted deck on a ship that is already burning up in orbit. There are a lot of ships out there, more than Adam could count. He and the female had been fighting for hours and yet had only brought down a little number of them, not enough to make any difference. The other ships had found a way to find them and began shooting at each other to destroy them as a bigger threat, worth the loss of the few ships. It's barbaric and exactly what Adam had been running from. The scientists who created him would have demanded him fighting their battles for them, to be in a war maybe similar to this, to kill and prove their all superiority. But the perfect human being can feel compassion and has a strong want for freedom. They had learned that the day Adam left Earth only to now be stranded here.

Elena had brought them from one ship to the other but the fleet is yet potent enough to destroy every known empire of the universe. Thanos could win simply by numbers with these ships, they need to be gone no matter how their friends' fight with Thanos may end.

It proofs to be impossible though. Adam had fled Earth to not be used for someone else's schemes and it is just what this feels like. This is not his fate and yet he finds himself unable to stop helping the strange female. It's the universe that is at stake now, not only his own life.

'Come on, let's get moving.', Elena insists, clapping his shoulder. Adam hates killing though he doesn't feel sorry. He hadn't seen for his own what Thanos had done but he has a pretty clear idea from the stories the others told him. With a sigh he rises from the ground. They bring down another three ships when they hear it.

There is a distant crack of someone dropping out of hyperspace near the planet.


	76. Chapter 73 Mind

Mind

 _The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more,  
that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me.  
That's what I'd hoped to give you forever.  
Nicholas Sparks _

The red light blinds Thor just as he is about to get up and aid his husband who had been thrown back by some spell the Titan they are fighting had cast. Apparently Thanos had given up on using only his powers but wants to fight them now with his accumulated Infinity Stones. This is what they had feared all the time would happen if they pushed him too far. Thor had only seen it out of the corner of his eye but is sure that Loki had been able to hurt Thanos with his daggers and the help of his friends. Of course the Titan wouldn't accept defeat so easily. The first blow should have killed him and now, that that plan failed, they face the wrath of the Mad Titan.

Thor rubs his eyes, gathering Mjolnir in his hand. His beloved hammer had done him no good in this battle since Thanos refused to be hit by it at all. Whenever he tossed it, Thanos would somehow evade it. His physical blows neither had made contact or didn't seem to bother the Titan at all. Thor had never felt so powerless in his life, with the exception of Loki's presumable death, but never in a battle. His enemy is just too powerful for Thor to do any real damage. However the joined efforts of the Avengers merely led to their opponent being angered enough to make use of the powers they cannot hope to fight.

Thor looks around but can't spot the Titan anywhere close by when the blinding light dims and eventually is gone. It reminds him of the red light that was originally at home on this moon before Thanos had taken them here. The yellow light of the invisible sun now envelopes this world of make-believe again. He gets up from the ground and walks over to where Loki sits on the grass, still staring at the spot Thanos occupied seconds ago. He seems disorientated and worried about this set of events. There is a frown on his face which can't mean anything good. His plan failed though it is not his fault. They didn't have a chance from the beginning. The sudden disappearance of their adversary is worrying Thor as well. He isn't used to an superior foe running out on him just when said foe decided to stop going gentle on him and his friends.

'Are you alright, love?', Thor asks, helping him up. Loki brushes off some dust and swipes his hair back from his face, sighing.

Loki nods, his eyes don't leave the spot of Thanos' disappearance. 'I'm fine.' His voice is flat and not reassuring at all. Thor himself can't decide if he should keep looking for Thanos or check on his husband more closely. He doesn't like Loki's tone of voice.

The others are getting up slowly as well. They must have all been thrown to the ground by Thanos' last attack. The two Asgardians walk over to them to join forces once more because the Titan surely would not have given up that easily.

'Where is he?', Quill asks, scanning the sky above them. They are all wary.

Natasha is hurt, the Hulk has some minor injuries as well but it is nothing lethal. Loki heals them without paying attention to it. Thor wonders where he takes all his strength from, knowing how much energy it takes for Loki to heal others and cast spells like the ones he tossed in Thanos' direction. Maybe it has something to do with this pocket dimension, he muses but there are more important matters at hand. At least Loki isn't so weak that Thor has to fear he might collapse.

'I don't know and that is what scares me.', Loki mutters. Hulk shakes his head, trying to clear it now that their enemy is gone for the moment. Loki isn't any happier about this than Hulk. The green beast isn't as suspicious as they are though. Maybe even Banner will emerge in no time, Thor thinks and hopes he is wrong. The danger is by no means avoided.

Thor feels watched but there is nothing to be done except keeping watch for Thanos. There is a little wind but not the slightest rustle of leaves is audible.

'Is anyone else in requirement of anything?', Loki asks everyone around. He expects their adversary to return any moment now after he gave them time enough to regather and make up a new strategy. When no one needs a thing Loki could get them, the ravenette sighs. 'I am sorry. This is all my fault.', he says, looking down.

'It is not. You gave us a chance. It's not your fault Thanos is cheating.', Clint says. He must have gotten back his hearing or he just got better at reading lips. Whatever it might be, Thor is glad it was he who reassured Loki in his plans and intentions and not Thor himself who had to tell his husband that there were no mistakes in his plans. Loki would have never believed the words coming from Thor but maybe he would see the truth in them as they come from Clint. That is all Thor can hope for at the moment.

He is counting on an attack any moment now. Thanos had activated what had appeared to be the Aether, the reality altering powers must already be at work. Why nothing had hit them yet is a mystery to Thor.

Loki sighs deeply, pulling Thor back to the present. 'It's nice, but I have drawn him here. Without me-'

'We wouldn't have been prepared for his attack.', Natasha interrupts him. Her sharp eyes scan the edges of the clearing as well. The trees on the far ends are barely perceptible as such. The blast and the previous fight had carried them closer to one edge of the forest.

'And what good did it do? Both of our homeworlds lie in pieces at our feet.', Loki snarls. Thor can sense his frustration coming up, his tirade however is interrupted.

There is a strange sound coming from the slight hill behind them. Thor curses himself for having turned his back on the plain and having concentrated on the forest. That is not where Thanos would attack, of course not. His friends react likewise. They spin around to face Thanos only to find not the purple skinned Titan but a rather familiar figure. Wanda's brown hair curls in the wind, her red energy swirls around her clenched hands. Thor frowns.

Where does she come from? What is she doing on this planet? Thor had assumed Wanda Maximoff died resisting Thanos' forces, at any rate during the destruction of Midgard. How she could have left their world and come to this dimension or why Thanos hadn't prevented that, he cannot begin to fathom. Maybe Thanos had brought all Avengers to this world to prove in an unfair battle that he is their superior and the woman had only now found them.

Wanda raises her hand in greeting, Thor assumes. He is happy to have found another team mate. After all she is an Avenger as well and just as interested in killing Thanos as they are. She and Vision seemed to have a rather special bond, his death or disappearance must have disturbed her greatly. Wanda had been alone for some months now, no messages could have reached her from any of her fellow Avengers. Loki had told him that she is a very powerful person, someone he wouldn't want as an enemy. That might be how she had gotten here. It matters little, Thor decides. The only thing that is of importance is that she is here.

Her hex power hits him unexpectedly. With a wave of her hand, Wanda had struck the Avengers down. Thor topples and rolls over the almost flat ground. First he doesn't register anything, he is too busy trying to process what just happened. His whole body hurts from the hex, he doesn't know how his mortal friends are supposed to even get up. He jumps up to get her attention so they have time to stand up and rejoin the fight. Thor catches a glimpse of Wanda's eyes before he has to evade another hit which possibly could have ended even his life.

The ghastly blue he would recognize anywhere. Thor had come to hate it with his whole heart. Thanos must have captured Wanda before destroying Midgard or he had used the Infinity Stones to get her back. Thor looks back to where he had stood seconds ago to the crater that is now in that place and he realizes that she alone might be able to destroy the Avengers. Her powers are formidable enough for such a task it would seem.

The girl moves like she is in trance and not fully in possession of her senses, a slave to the Mind Stone. Thor despises Thanos even more for this act. So he had chosen against using the Aether to destroy them but rather has one of their own destroy the Avengers for him. Coward.

Thor feels more than sorry for his comrade but he sees no other choice except to fight back and risk killing her or dying at Thanos' hands. He swings Mjolnir and hurls it at Wanda in a desperate attempt to stop Thanos. Wanda isn't fazed by his display. She raises her hand, a hex hits Thor's hammer in midflight and she stops it without breaking a sweat. Thor freezes for some moments before Wanda hurls it back at him. This is impossible, not even Loki has the power to do that and they have been sparring their whole lives, yet not once had he found a counter spell for loyal Mjolnir. That Wanda had figured out how to render Thor's most powerful attack useless is disheartening at the least. Not even Thanos had dared face a direct hit with his hammer and now this mortal woman simply controls it.

She fights of one of Clint's arrows at the same time. His friends must have gotten back on their feet which Thor relishes in. At least they aren't badly hurt. He hadn't dared hope.

Thor nearly gets knocked from his feet when Mjolnir heads for his head without him being able to control it. This is not good. Wanda's powers seem enhanced from what Thor remembers. Thor is fortunately not the only one having deemed it necessary to consider removing Wanda important for their survival. The other Avengers certainly aim for the kill in this battle and aren't holding much back if Clint's arrows that are aimed at Wanda's head are anything to go by.

He picks up his hammer from where it had fallen to the ground some yards away after Wanda stopped controlling it. Maybe he should take it out of this fight before anyone would get hurt. Mjolnir doesn't seem to do any good either way and with Wanda being able to control it and its way, it is possibly more dangerous to his fellow fighters when hurled at them. Several daggers fly past Thor, Loki's handwork. He must have gotten up again and is prepared to fight. Thor dashes forward as well when Wanda merely flicks the weapons aside or transforms them into feathers.

Thor almost stops dead on his tracks when he sees that. It is impossible, he doubts even Loki could do that with such ease and carelessness. Suddenly there is no ground under Thor's feet anymore. He tries to hurl Mjolnir to fly away but that isn't working either. The red bubble of energy enveloping him won't be dissuaded by his attempts to break free. His absentmindedness had made him inattentive to his surroundings and Wanda's attack. She must have judged him to be the greatest threat as he is the only one apart from a bound Hulk who is being taken out of the fight like this. No doubt Loki is just as impressed with her powers as Thor is. Or he would be if they would have time for such matters.

Thor can see his friends continuing the attack. Natasha tries a more direct approach just like Loki after their long distance attacks failed, it looks like they are both dancing around their opponent. None of them ever touches Wanda, their blows are always blocked long before they can make contact. Even from up here the blond can feel Loki's seidr roar. There is no reason to hold back anymore, no end game he needs to save his powers for. The burst of energy sends Thor falling to the ground when the bubble ruptures because of it.

Wind lashes around them, it is not Thor's work as little ice crystals are mixed into it. Natasha had drawn back from the close fight, seeking some cover from the sudden ice storm. Thor's face hurts from the sudden onslaught but he wants to stand at Loki's side nevertheless to defend them all. There is a wildness in the attack Thor hadn't felt in a long time. He had let something loose, something deep down at the bottom of his soul. He doesn't care who stands in his way, he can only see his ultimate goal, Thanos' destruction.

Thor prays quickly, then lashes out with Mjolnir while at the same time attacking Wanda with his own hands. It is not her fault this is all happening. Thor realizes her death would do them no good, Thanos wouldn't be hurt by it. It would only weaken their moral. An arrow shoots over his shoulder, not hitting the mark.

Thor's blows just bounce back from the barriers Wanda places between them. Her red fog threatens to make him dizzy and fell him. The blond shakes his head to regain a clear mind but it is only partly working. He's getting more disorientated by the moment.

Suddenly Wanda throws them all backward with a single attack. She must have gotten bored. The last thing Thor sees before he hits the ground is Mjolnir also heading his way. The crunch of bones is something apart from his own body. Thor feels too numb to move for several seconds. Loki had hit the ground close to him, Thor can make out the hissing over the pounding of his own blood. Thor moves slowly to assess the damage. What his body feeds him back isn't overly good. Thor manages to sit up. Breathing hurts a little, at least three fractured ribs, his mind supplies helpfully.

Loki slowly gets up to his knees, staring to where Wanda stands, fighting Clint and Natasha now alone. 'We are holding back.', he snarls. 'That is the problem.'

He is correct. Thor can't help but think of Wanda as their friend, their comrade in arms and there is a barrier in his mind which keeps him from killing her for the survival of their friends and the universe. It seems selfish. She is yet on their side in his brain. She doesn't deserve to die and if Thor would kill her, he would regret her death for the rest of his days.

He gingerly moves his arm. Pain shoots up to his shoulder. Thor hisses in agony. Loki doesn't seem to hear it. His eyes are fixed on their target. Whatever mercy he might have felt for the Scarlet Witch, it's gone from Loki's heart. Either she would die or he would exert all his powers to make it happen.

Loki jumps up to his feet, dagger ready in hand, his magic buzzing in the air. Thor isn't sure if he can win against Wanda with her mutant abilities. His rage makes him a strong enemy but she is controlled by a strategic half-god of the universe, possibly backed up by several Infinity Stones. Thor panics when he sees him jumping ahead into a battle he can't win. Rational Loki would never do something like that. How often had the ravenette scolded Thor for similar actions?

Thor grits his teeth and forces himself to stand up despite the pain. His right arm hangs uselessly at his side. He gathers his weapon, then rejoins the fight. He won't let his husband walk in there on his own. Loki needs to be protected from himself and their adversary.

Hulk had freed himself from the energy bounds when Loki distracted Wanda enough that her concentration slipped slightly. She must have concentrated more on maintaining Hulk's bounds than Thor's as his own bubble exploded far easier. The green giant leaps towards them. Thor doubts he would know friend and foe.

Loki is in the middle of a real fight with Wanda, spells flying around. Thor has to evade some to not get hit by the destructive energies. The ground shakes violently. They might rip this reality apart if Thor can't bring this fight to an end and that soon. They could just vanish from existence otherwise without a reality containing them all.

Loki's body had turned blue during his attack. He is using ice magic to freeze the mortal woman though if he is successful remains to be seen. Wanda doesn't seem to mind the cold terribly much. Thor wishes he could say the same about their friends.

Eventually Thor has to give up his futile attempts to get to his husband though unless he gets killed by their blasts.

Natasha, Clint and Quill come over to where Thor battles the wind. Hulk is kept back by both of the fighting sorcerers as he would not distinguish between them in his current state. His friends seek protection from the ice as well as from the cold.

'We can't win this.', Barton shouts over the deafening roar of the wind. 'Loki's going to rip us apart if Wanda doesn't manage that.'

'She is a mere pawn. We need to find Thanos.', Natasha agrees. Thor nods to show his support. They need to find Thanos before he gets other ideas what to do with the Infinity Stones. Until now, after all, he had only used one to enhance Wanda's powers. Thor doubts that he had to use the Mind Stone to have her cooperate. She had always seemed a little unstable after the death of her brother. The blue color might have only been the last shove in this direction.

'How are we to get away?', Clint asks when they watch the whole might of Loki's powers combined with the Hulk's attacks bounce off of the witch without effect. It matters little for her attacks seem equally useless. Loki is too caught up in his rage to think this through and realize they would both tire out long before anyone could win this fight. He must project his hate for Thanos on her.

Thor sighs. 'Thanos will be watching us. We won't get a reprieve in any matter.', he states. The Titan wouldn't make the mistake of letting them catch their breaths before attacking again. Even if he himself is injured.

Hulk gets tossed past them by a lash of red magic. He smashes several trees that are at least a few hundred feet behind the other Avengers. The green berserker stands up again, shaking his head. There are several bleeding wounds on him Thor can spot even on his distance. How badly injured Bruce is under all that layers no one can even guess. It was quite a hit he had to take.

Thor curses when Hulk dashes past them to throw himself back into the mostly equal fight. His muscles tense, sending red glowing hot pain through his arm. He can already feel his body healing the wound but it wouldn't be quick enough for Thor to use his arm in the upcoming battle. Neither would it do any good, some of his bones would require setting before healing, one at least has been almost pulverized by Mjolnir.

'Better than to be killed by a team member.', Natasha says dryly. She crosses her arms, observing the fight with great interest. Thor would never doubt their utility in battle but his mortal friends are right in keeping out of his husband's way at the moment. They, and he, are doomed to helplessly stand by and watch the fight. Even with all his Asgardian might and Mjolnir Thor is unable to sway the odds in their favor, not as long as sorcery like that is included. Only Hulk lashes out in his powerlessness.

'So, what do you suggest?', Clint asks. 'I think you should make a run for it.', he suggests with a wave of his hand to the forest in the north. Or at least where on Asgard the north would be.

Thor frowns slightly at his choice of words. 'She would follow us.' And he doesn't want to leave Loki with her to distract Wanda for them.

Clint shakes his head. 'She's getting slower. I could distract her to follow me and not you.' He sounds sure of himself.

'We won't leave you alone with her.', Natasha states what is on both their minds.

'We lost too many comrades, Clint. We won't lose you because of some fit of heroism.', Thor says angrily. He cannot seriously suggest that. He had gritted his teeth the moment he realized what Clint truly suggested.

'I am replaceable. Thanos won't die because of my arrows, Thor. We all know that. He'll grow tired of her display of superiority very quickly and face you himself again.', he says quite emotionless as if recounting facts. 'Besides, someone has to keep Stark and Cap posted.' His mouth quirks into what could have been a brief smile.

With that said Clint rises to his feet, facing their enemy, their former comrade in arms, only to get blown back by the force of one of the spells. Natasha is above him in a matter of seconds to check on him while Thor refocuses on the fight he had momentarily let out of his eyes.

The odds had turned against them it would seem. Somehow Wanda had gotten the Hulk under her control, being either annoyed at his meddling or seeing him as the asset he is. Whatever the case may be, Loki now has to defend himself against both of them. Hulk nevertheless is his minor problem.

'She is losing control.', Clint says. Fortunately he seems to be unhurt. Thor narrows his eyes. He doesn't see Wanda losing control as much more controlling the fight. Then he spots the random red sparks flying off in all directions without aim and too many to be a mere byproduct. Also, Loki still somehow holds his ground. 'It's your chance.', Clint says, his grip on his bow tightens. 'Get Loki and run.' He wants to still go through with his plan which is just plain insane.

It's pointless to tell him that Loki won't just come and leave the battlefield in his state. Thor takes his hammer into his left hand and hurls it towards Hulk to at least get him off Loki's back. He jumps up as well and rejoins the battle against two of his friends. Sparks fly all around him, Thor thinks he doesn't imagine that the temperature is rising. There is no ice in the air anymore.

The grass is burned all around the two contenders. Hulk is just shaking off the daze from the hammer swing and charges at his attacker at once. Thor has barely time to prepare for the hit. He is no match for Hulk's strength being in his present condition, that he knows. At least he no longer is after Loki, Thor thinks when he dodges another blow.

Thor directs Mjolnir in Wanda's direction, hoping to catch her unguarded or at least distract her enough to grab Loki. Hulk would follow, he doesn't need to worry about that. That is, if Hulk doesn't smash him first.

He barely has time to evade the hit, the next one he has to block with his left arm. Without his right to aid the quest though, his strength is no match for Hulk's. 'Stop!', Thor yells at Hulk. There is a blast that throws both of them off their feet. Banner must have regained some control as Hulk does not attack them immediately.

'We need to get away.', Thor tells him, already getting on his feet to rush towards Loki. Mjolnir distracted Wanda enough, enabling Loki to drive her back for the moment. There is too much dust in the air from the earth they tore apart,so Thor cannot spot their adversary.

Loki has turned back into his Jotun self, he is seething with rage or power, it is hard to evaluate from this distance. Thor quickly crosses the distance between them. Who could tell how long Wanda would stay down. This blow surely didn't kill her, not after the abilities and the resilience she had shown. It might have merely stunned her or Wanda is preparing another attack hidden by the dust.

The ravenette is still shaking when Thor reaches him. His teeth are bared when the blond turns him around, away from his now hidden opponent. A snarl is torn from Loki.

'We need to go!', Thor shouts over the storm. Loki merely shakes his head and mouths something that could be a 'We aren't done here'. 'Yes, we are!' Thor is losing his patience. 'You can't win!' Thor groans impatiently, then pulls Loki away from the fight. First Loki struggles but soon enough his rational part takes over again, his battle aggression fades slightly. Hulk is already way ahead of them, they quickly take over Natasha and Clint. Agent Romanov pulls the blond along to bring him from his stupid plan. They can all flee yet.

Natasha stops pulling Clint about half way to the forest after looking over her shoulder. 'She will overtake us.', Clint insists. Natasha doesn't object him this time which surprises Thor. He knows Clint is right but he doesn't want to lose another of his friends. Thor turns around to where Wanda is and to see what made both Natasha and Clint stop.

There is a red whirlwind behind them, Thor has to shield his eyes from it. Clint squints his eyes as well but doesn't turn away from the hot desert wind coming off from it, he even takes some steps closer to it. It most certainly isn't Loki's work this time. Clint has extracted himself from Natasha's grip.

'Run!', he calls over the rushing, unshouldering his bow and an arrow, then he turns towards Wanda and walks down the hill with firm steps. Loki tries to stop him but Thor holds him back. A sigh escapes Loki's lips.

She could rip this reality apart and kill them all if Clint wouldn't stop her and they would also die if they were to stay here. There is no other choice but to heed Clint's advice. He feels uncomfortable leaving Clint alone with her, know they should fight together but there is no other way. They need to defeat Thanos and not waste all their energies on defeating one of his puppets.

Thor pulls Loki in the direction of the forest so they can regroup and rethink their strategy. Thanos could evade them forever like this. They would lose their strength until he would merely have to fight one or two of them and that in a tired out state. As he had pointed out to Loki not even a few days ago, life isn't fair.

Bruce is hurt so Quill drags him along. He must have reemerged after Hulk left the battle. This isn't going to work, Thor knows that, but what is the alternative if staying surely means death?

The birds follow them on their way away from the battle. They run as fast as they can with their injured comrades and a furious Loki at their side. The sun is soon hidden completely from them by the thick foliage above. The shadows are darker than Thor remembers them to have been before. Something is coming for them, that much is clear. No sounds of battle reach them anymore. Thor wonders about Clint's fate but puts it from his mind immediately.

That's when Thor realizes something. Birds. They surely hadn't been there before. He stops dead on his tracks and looks up at the roof of purple leaves.

Loki's expression is one of utter distaste when he is jerked to a halt as well. First he is taken away from battle, now he has to stop in the middle of nowhere. 'What?', he demands angrily to know. He looks around to see the source of Thor's unease. Already there is no way of surely saying where they had ran from.

Thor wordlessly points up. Quill, Bruce and Natasha catch up with them after some seconds, all breathing heavily. Still, their puffs of breath don't drown out the unmistakable singing of hundreds of birds. It is like these animals hadn't even noticed them.

Loki's hate slowly morphs into realization. He had said the trees aren't even alive in this universe so how could there be birds? He curses under his breath and stares now up as well to spot the source of the noise. The trees are too high alas to spot a single of the creatures. Thor has no doubt they are hunting their little team.

'What's going on?', Bruce asks. He seems surprised at their sudden halt.

'Listen.', Natasha says simply. Of course the assassin had noticed the difference. Her brow is creased. Bruce still doesn't really understand. He had spend too much time in his Hulk form and not enough in this human form to hear it. Hulk surely would have been raging already.

'What is that?', Quill had caught on the conversation. Warily he looks up.

'We need to get away.', Loki states. Thor notices that he no longer looks at the roof top above them but eyes the thick tree trunks as if expecting something else to show from that direction. Thor starts to hear it as well.

'And where to? I doubt we can outrun something that can fly.', Quill voices his doubts.

'Is that her?', Thor asks quietly, not that it matters. Whatever is coming for them with the soft footfall already knows where they are.

Loki shrugs. 'Her powers are uncharted land. Who can tell. It would be possible though.', he admits. Then at least nothing else would be after them. 'We need to leave.', he repeats, looking for an escape. He had pointed out that without the Soul Stone Thanos wouldn't be able to create life.

Thor grows more uneasy with each passing moment as well. He imagines to see shadows moving in the corner of his eyes. It is unclear if he truly just imagines it. Somewhere the sounds must come from. Thor feels a wave of Loki's magic pass over him. It strikes him that he grows more and more sensitive to it. It feels strange though, not the usual gentle wave but an onslaught of raw powerful emotions tainted with something twisted. He doesn't like it. Loki feels sick through this connection.

'It's life.', Loki suddenly says in a shushed voice. He seems shocked, his eyes are widened.

'They are real.', Natasha deduces immediately. The words haven't even fully left her mouth when a flock of birds falls down on them. They are black, the likes Thor had never seen before.

Without any further motivation they start to run. There are too many to kill. No further discussion of direction is needed as they just run forward. They need to find Thanos anyway, the longer they fight against Wanda and her outerworldly powers, the less chances they have on overpowering Thanos if there are any chances at all.

The birds don't touch them, merely fly very closely over their heads, herding the team in front of them. Other animal like creatures join the birds in their chase. Something as big as a bear moves in the shade under the trees.

Mjolnir doesn't even hurt them, or if it does there are too many of them to overcome this way.

They run past the trees onto another clearing though the sky is invisible because of the birds circling it. They now attack the challengers, Thor feels their claws in his hair, on his skin. He gets a better look on the creatures surrounding them. They are big, darker as the moonless night, with claws and teeth longer than daggers. His left hand closes around Mjolnir, he isn't sure though it will do any good.

From all sides these creatures close in, forcing them to stop. They form a circle to protect each other.

There is a screech. Thor and his friends turn around to see Wanda emerge from between the bear like creatures. There is blood covering her hands and her clothes, there is no sign of Clint however. There is no reason to assume he is still alive. Thor's heart aches for him for a moment, then his thoughts are drawn to their present situation.

Wanda must have gotten away. Her eyes are blazing with anger, red sparks fly all across the clearing. The creatures seem to wait for a sign from her. The brunette pets one of the bears in thought, with almost a smile on her face.

Loki curses not quite under his breath. There is no opening in the circle engulfing them, no way, no place to run. Thor looks over his shoulder only to find more beasts waiting for them. With a smile and a flick of Wanda's wrist, they are attacked by the legions surrounding them.

Thor uses Mjolnir to keep them at some distance though it won't last long. Loki seems to reach the same conclusion. Bruce transforms back into Hulk with a roar and attacks their enemies just as Loki gathers his strength to end this battle once and for all. Then Thor loses sight of him as he is almost ran over by Wanda's bear wolves.

He smashes as many as he can but they are like smoke once hit. Somehow they refuse to die at his weapon but their talons and teeth hurt just as a real wolf's would.

Suddenly Loki is next to him. His spells rip the animals apart.

'We need to get out of here!', Thor yells. As if Loki wouldn't know that. They would die before half of the beasts would join them.

Loki seems to have a plan after all. He rushes towards Wanda, then Thor loses sight of him once more in the raging battle. Hulk has more success at killing the beasts but more and more of them come and won't give the Avengers a moment to breathe.

Suddenly everything stops. The animals freeze, then turn slowly to where their master stands with Loki and Natasha around her. One of Loki's daggers glows in the light, sticking from Wanda's breast. When she collapses hell breaks loose. The animals jump toward them to avenge their leader's death.

Loki and Natasha run, the animals are behind them. They leave Hulk, Quill and Thor alone. The mortal collapses immediately. Thor wants to run after his husband to fight at his side but Hulk grabs his arms and holds him down to protect him before Thor can take a single step.

'No, let me go.', Thor demands. His desperate gaze is fixed on the direction his husband vanished in. the animals are no longer to be seen. Hulk pulls him away further, making deep sorry noises. He needs to help Loki but he can't break Hulk's grip. So he merely hangs there and waits, dread and panic coil in his belly.

Thor turns back the second Hulk lets go of him. He is shaking madly with fear of what he might find. The animals had disbanded, there is no trace of them anymore, not even the grass is trampled. There is red blood all over the blue grass. His heart beats faster. He crosses the border of the forest, prepared for everything and yet fearing he might spot his husband. His eyes find a body on the ground. Thor feels guilty for the relied that floods him when he recognizes the red hair spread out around the figure.

Thor crouches down but it is futile. Natasha doesn't breathe, her body is almost torn apart by the beasts. He rises again and continues his search. Just some meters away he spots black hair against a tree trunk. Thor hurries further to the slumped figure. Loki sits there, his eyes are closed. Panic seeps through the blond, then he sees the slight rise and fall of his chest. Loki is hurt, blood streams out of several minor wounds, but most definitely alive. Thor nearly collapses then and there.

'They didn't kill me.', the ravenette mutters. His brow is furrowed. Thor barely takes in the words, he is too happy at the moment to understand much else. Thor gets to his knees next to Loki, takes his hand in his own. It is cold, a little blood is on it. However, Thor had never been that happy to hold it.

His eyes trace Loki's face. He is alive, it is almost unbelievable. Then his own words sink in.

It doesn't make sense that Loki is alive indeed. How could he have survived such an attack without sustaining major injury? How indeed. The animals or other powers should have killed him, Thor was certain he would only come here to find the corpse of his husband. So why didn't the beasts finish what they started and murdered Thanos' greatest enemy in the group? What is the Titan planning at?

xXxXxXx

 **Phew. Loki is fine. Or is he? Oh, the suspense.**

 **Er, merry late Christmas! This chapter was supposed to be online on Sunday already but then Christmas happened and well, I guess some of you can actually relate. Since I want this story done by the end of the year and I already have all the chapters basically written (they only need revising and some.. redoing), there will be two chapter updates this week (so probably on Friday and Sunday) if I manage and then just the epilogue is missing which will be posted on the first of January (at the latest).**

 **Thank you so much for reading and for your support. Already a very happy new year to you all!**


	77. Chapter 74 Time

Time

 _Just close your eyes, the sun is going down,  
you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now.  
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.  
Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars_

He still wants Loki to live. The thought almost is enough to bring a grin to Loki's face. After all that has transpired in the past years, after all of Thanos' claims, the Titan yet wants him alive. His hand comes up to him stomach involuntarily. That must be the solution but the Titan had given him much more than Loki ever expected.

He had the chance to kill Loki and yet the animals stopped advancing. So many of the beasts even a master sorcerer couldn't have taken on, and they all just stopped after delivering not even a handful of scratches and bites. The ravenette had expected to be ripped into shreds, had even come to terms with it. A pointless death, no possibility to fight Thanos personally, but at least his friends would get the chance to that, his husband would be able to avenge his death. In the middle of the fight though suddenly the creatures had drawn back and left him, hurt but alive, alone in this strange forest. He had collapsed where he stood because none of this made any sense for some moments. His death sentence merely vanished into thin air and wasn't delivered.

Thor helps him stand up, a gesture not unwanted but unnecessary. The blond is far worse hurt than Loki with his scratches and bites. The ravenette is not even in shock as he realizes himself. He is scheming and doesn't really have the time to think about his environment. It barely reaches his mind that his plan to draw the beasts from Thor and the others had worked or that Natasha had been caged by another horde of murdering animals because she didn't have the luck to carry the ominous Mistress Death in herself. Something else bubbles in his chest though, his primary focus.

'I thought..' Thor doesn't finish the sentence. Loki nods, glee and mirth still dancing in his eyes. He had stayed down on the ground for the time being so he wouldn't topple over from the laughter that still threatens to erupt from his chest.

It is insane, purely illogical. And yet Loki has to be thankful for Thanos' strange mission to find himself a wife. At least that is what the babe will ensure. This might be their only chance.

Loki gently lifts up Thor's broken arm, then speaks a spell to heal it. Thor hisses in discomfort when the bones set themselves and the flesh knits together. It burns and stings, Loki knows that from his own experience, but it is the fastest way and Thor would need all the strength he has for the way ahead. Something else strikes Loki then.

'The magic in the ground..', he mutters, staring at the arm of his husband, lost in thought. That's it. Thanos had created this pocket universe, a universe with more magic than both Midgard and Asgard, even more than Vanaheim. It would make little sense to make Loki more powerful than ever. Except if he wants to make sure that the child in him would survive in any case and Loki wouldn't miscarry her. Finally this all makes sense. Loki looks up to find the blond staring at him in confusion.

Thor frowns. 'We need to get back to the others.', he states when Loki makes no move to explain further. He is sure that Thor had already grasped the basic concept.

Loki nods, not expecting a thank you or any of that empty words. They leave behind the remnants of the battle and go back to where Thor had left Bruce and Quill behind. They aren't the best fighters and there is little hope they would make a great team together. It's not the shortest way, Loki notices but that is just for his advantage. He needs to regain some control over himself. This buffoon of a Titan. How could he be so thick as to hand Loki the key to his own doom?

This is why Thanos had merely been toying with them. Well, he would most certainly come to regret telling Loki that he needs him alive. Thanos didn't even fake it, gave him no other choice but to assume that he yet wishes his queen to be born unharmed. He had offered them the chance to end this fight in their favor.

This might not be the team Loki would have chosen to fight Thanos with, but still, there is something their new, smaller team can do now.

After some minutes they reach where their comrades had broken down, resting. They seem surprised to find Loki alive but they haven't got the energy to be happy about this small fact for long. Too many of them have been lost, too many are to be mourned. Every single one of them being alive is a miracle on its own. Loki thinks he knows the reason why Thor lead him this way and not the direct route he had taken when fleeing. Natasha's sacrifice will not have been in vain though. That much Loki still can make sure of.

Bruce is somewhere in the process of turning back into his human self, Quill looks ready to drop to the floor and sleep for a solid week. Loki scrutinizes them for some moments, then sits down next to them. It is pointless to point out that they shouldn't be resting but looking for Thanos instead. They wouldn't listen right now anyway. Yet there is a little worry in the trickster as he watches his comrades in their post battle fatigue. One more of these distractions could mean the end of their team.

Well, not quite.

Thor flops down next to him, flexing his newly healed arm to test its limitations. Loki watches him out of the corner of his eyes.

'Don't overdo it.', he says. The spells aren't the safest way to mend broken bones. It will still need time to heal properly.

Thor chuckles quietly. 'I don't think I will have much of a choice.', he states without amusement.

Loki forces out a mirthless laugh as well. 'You might be right about that. Just don't break it before you need to.'

The blond sighs. 'We need to face him. Another Wanda..'

None of them would survive.

He doesn't say it but he might as well have with how the words hang in the air. Loki agrees. He alone would also be no match for the might of Thanos but maybe his condition would be useful to struck a bargain. He questions for how much it would be enough.

'He has the power and is still afraid to face us. Thanos already has done his worst and yet we sit here, resting for the time that coward finally creeps out of his hole and dares to die by our hands. Who knows,', Loki continues his musing, 'we might die of old age before that happens.' It is almost certain the Titan watches them right now to assess how to best attack them. He had used only one of his precious stones so far, maybe provoking him will make him act in rashness and without plan. At least that is what Loki is playing at. A smile plays around the corner of Loki's mouth when he points out Thanos' apparent flaws. This might be their only chance and he is more than willing to take it.

Thor frowns upon his comment as does Quill, Bruce isn't fully back to his normal self to have listened to a word exchanged between the two Asgardians. They might both be worried he loses his mind but Loki just knows his words reach the one they were meant for. And a little push of the morale of their team wouldn't be for the worst either. It won't be easy but with any luck he would be able to stand between Thanos and his comrades before any more deadly blows can be handed out.

He hides his triumphant smile when he feels the change in the air, the fury and rage about the insolence of that mewling quim down there on the ground, as it seeps through the very fabric of reality, threatening to tear down the sky and the very ground under their feet with it. There is fire in the veins of the reality, madness and uncontrollable rage. It almost takes a hold of Loki as well.

He is coming.

A promise and a threat at once. Loki feels gleeful even now. Finally the confrontation is about him. There is no further fear of what might come. The worst already is on his way. No more hiding, no more doubles or safety nets and double bottoms. What difference does it make if he brings back only Tony or all of his friends? The only thing left to do is kill that arrogant fool who now rushes towards them, having forgotten in his rage all about the Space Stone adorning his gauntlet. It's the only thing worth breathing for. To see that purple fool kneel at his feet with his head lying beside them. To see his skull split open, his every bone shattered, decapitated, gutted, torn to shreds and beyond recognition. Never again would he come back, would stand no chance. Loki wouldn't be stupid enough though to keep him alive before extracting his revenge as a dark part of him wishes. Thanos would deserve his life to be turned into a living hell, to breathe blood, starve, burn, freeze, bleed dry, cut open and have his very core torn out of his filthy body. For some moments Loki basks in the pure joy that fills him just imagining doing this. He wouldn't need any lackeys to torture Thanos. No, that would be his pleasure alone. Unfortunately it is not meant to be. That doesn't mean this isn't going to be very satisfying.

There is a fire burning in the frost that had encased Loki's heart after Tony's death. Thanos would burn. They would all burn if that is what is necessary to bring by Thanos' fall. He would gladly sacrifice each of them time and time again to see the Mad Titan on the ground, defeated and parted from life.

Something tells him Thanos would feel the same if it wouldn't be for a little hindrance growing in Loki's belly. Thanos may hold the universe in his hands but Loki holds his fate in his.

An even wider smile spreads on Loki's face though he tries to cover it. Not that it would matter. His comrades in arms already think him mad. A little more madness would suit them all better. Just then he hears it.

It's not Thanos, not yet. Loki hears or rather feels him rage somewhere across this universe. Still there is a quiet rustle on their left. Thor must have picked up on it as well as he stands up at the same time as Loki. It is barely loud enough to be perceptible, like someone sneaking so he wouldn't be found in this vast forest. The ravenette has to wipe the smirk of his face. To tear apart anything made by Thanos or defiled by his touch would just suit him in his current mood.

Loki and Thor exchange a glance. None of Thanos' weaponized people would care to keep quiet. Thor looks unsure of himself as if he might have mistaken the rustle for more than it is.

'Hello?', Loki calls out. Whoever it is would hear them soon enough anyway if they hadn't already. The rustle stops immediately. They must be contemplating. 'Who is it?', he demands to know. Bruce and Quill had been startled but seem to catch up quickly. A dagger appears in Loki's hand, ready to sink into the nearest enemy.

'Who are you?', a strangely familiar voice asks back. It comes from behind the trees.

Quill sits up straight, his head snapping in the direction of the voice. 'Rocket?', he exclaims loudly. There is doubt and hope in it. It must echo to the other side of this world.

'Quill?' The voice mirrors the emotional state of the Midgardian. The rustle starts again, quicker this time and within moments Rocket shows up between the trees, the tiny Groot on his shoulder. Relief and disbelief are written all over his face. Quill scrambles to his feet just when Rocket throws himself at him. They embrace each other for some moments.

'Where do you come from?', the human asks when they let go. Loki turns back towards them, unsatisfied that no enemies follow the two Guardians.

Rocket seems still a little shocked. 'I thought you would be more of these freaking birds.', he says, then takes some deep breaths, taking Groot from his shoulder so that Quill could hold him for a moment. The tree is moved to tears about having found their friends. 'We got sucked in here after we hid. There were spaceships all around the planet suddenly. So we took the Power Stone and ran straight into the forest to offer no further target. We even moved your friend on ice.', he briefly turns to Loki. The ravenette acknowledges it with a nod. 'I mean, it's not hard to find the ship and Thanos clearly wanted that Stone. Then, bing bang boom, is everything gone and we are alone in this giant forest. We tried to find the hut but weren't sure where it is. The Milano was gone. I.. we were looking for you ever since. And then, some hours ago we got attacked by birds and there were other giant creatures. We hid up in the trees.', he finishes the tale. 'Groot here was afraid we finally stumbled over Thanos when we heard you over here.', Rocket states, pretending he didn't feel the same.

'Why are you here? We thought you died in the real world.', Quill says. He is still too happy to care for the details. He had found his friends again, Loki thinks, why wouldn't he be? He wonders about his own annoyance about this interruption. More fighters should mean higher chances of winning, right?

'Thanos must have brought all of our teams into this world. Maybe he didn't even realize it.', Thor muses. Especially since there is no way of telling how big this world is, it isn't that improbable that they hadn't stumbled over each other yet.

Loki has to agree because otherwise the lonely Guardians would have surely died by now. The small blaster on Rocket's belt would have proven no big obstacle for the might of the Titan. But something the small raccoon had said had struck Loki. 'You have the Power Stone?' He is flabbergasted because he wouldn't have assumed them to think of it in the midst of the chaos on that strange planet. He holds his breath because he doesn't dare hope just yet. Thanos surely wouldn't have brought such a powerful weapon to this world without noticing. After the explosion of the Milano Loki had assumed the Stone to be somewhere close to the wreckage. It wouldn't have gotten destroyed anyway but Loki expected the Titan to already have it in his hands or just having to collect it after defeating the Avengers.

Rocket frowns for a moment, then nods forcefully. 'Yes, we took it with us so that maniac wouldn't get his hands on it.', he says. He reaches into his pocket to pull out the containment holding the Power Stone.

His eyes widen momentarily. Loki takes some steps to Rocket to take it out of his hand. Everything has slowed as his thoughts race. What are the chances of this falling into Loki's hands just when everything looks too dark to see one's own hand in front of one's eyes? To have the ultimate weapon just after discovering that there might be hope just out of reach is the best thing that could have happened and it lifts Loki's spirits. Maybe a tree and a talking raccoon aren't the worst thing. Instead of an unnecessary distraction they might have just proven useful.

Carefully he turns it in his hands. Even through the containment he feels tendrils of the power within reaching out and clutching to this new reality. He barely dares to breathe, he not even pretends to listen to Rocket's explanations of the past days.

This could change everything. With it he could boost their powers, enable them to counteract each of Thanos' attacks without any harm being done to his teammates. They could kill the Titan who is looking for them currently. Unsheathing the Power Stone would lead him here immediately but what does it matter with such a weapon at their disposal?

He would be helplessly condemned to watch his prey become the pursuer.

Loki snaps out of his beautiful revenge thoughts when his arm is touched by someone. Loki raises his gaze only to be met by summer sky blue eyes.

'You can't hold it. No one can.', he quietly reminds the ravenette. He is worried, there is no doubt about that. Loki checks his own face and finds a grin has split it. Quickly he wipes it away though not even Thor can pretend that this is not indeed awesome and worthy of grinning. He can't judge Loki for this victorious grin. Thor probably sees this chance as well and only doesn't want to alert their comrades in arms.

'But I won't have to hold it to use it.', Loki gives back, his eyes return to the hidden treasure in his hand. 'We could beat him.'

'Or you kill us all before we even face our enemy.' Thor loses his patience, his eyes are burning with anger. Can't he see that the victory is just the opening of an orb away? Can't he see that Thanos' death would be worth every drop of blood they can spill? Loki frowns. His reaction doesn't make any sense.

'Loki, look at me.', Thor demands. When Loki complies grudging, he continues,'You can't seriously think about it.'

'Why not?' Loki's own anger gets the better of him and he raises his voice. The conversation of their fellow fighters stops immediately. 'Hasn't he taken enough lives to proof that you are no match whatsoever?', he wants to know. Is Thor really so blind?

'You mean we.' He frowns when he points this out. His hand withdraws as Thor crosses his arms.

Loki shakes his head, a sneer is on his lips. 'No, you.' He puts emphasis on the last word. ' You know as well as I do that he won't touch me.', he reminds him.

Thor huffs. 'So you automatically assume that you can beat him?' His hands clench to fists. 'You can't possibly be that arrogant to assume you can take on him on your own?', Thor exclaims agitated.

Loki rolls his eyes. 'Oh, shut up, Thor.', he snaps. 'This is our ticket to win this war once and for all.'

He frowns. 'Who are you? Because my husband would never willingly sacrifice his friends just to-'

'Just to save the universe?!', Loki finishes the sentence impatiently. 'What more important thing is there?'

'You would just hand it to Thanos!', Thor insists stubbornly. Then again, he had always been blind. Blind to the power a single minded man can have. 'You destroy our family with your recklessness!'

'No, I try to protect it while you sabotage me at every turn.', Loki accuses him.

Thor shakes his head. 'I try to keep you and our daughter alive.'

'He will die by my hand and I care little if it will be with any of you by my side.', he hisses in fury. The blond is even more unreasonable than usual.

Thor looks shocked, his eyes are widened, his mouth stands agape. All anger has drained from his posture and face. Loki sees no reason though to take his words back as he meant them. Loki crosses his arms and continues to glare at Thor.

How does he dare defy Loki when all the ravenette wants is save their lives? Can he not see?

Silence had settled over the group, threatening to suffocate them all. No one says anything, even the wind above them had stopped as if sensing the agitation.

Thor's mouth opens and closes for a few times as he tries to think of something to say but has to reevaluate each idea. Loki sees his own name being formed and dying on his lips again without a sound passing them.

'We should get moving. Thanos will be here soon.', Loki says, then turns and walks without looking back once. After some moments there are footsteps behind him, announcing that the others finally came to their senses. There is no time to lose. This unimportant banter might have already cost them their advantage.

No one questions that Thanos is coming for them either. Maybe they can feel it.

Loki squeezes the containment of the Power Stone in his hand, wishing to pull it out, to level the ground with it, to rip Thanos' heart out of his chest with it. A short contact with the Infinity Stone would be enough to enhance Loki's powers enough to rival Thanos' own. A little longer and his comrades would share his powers. Maybe together they would even be able to hold the Power Stone. It's risky but Loki is willing to take the chance.

He almost stops, a shudder most definitely goes through him, as Loki tries to remember exactly since when his friends had become nothing more than fellow combatants. Maybe it's best like this.

Thor walks some steps behind him as Loki is well aware of. He would see soon enough that Loki is right. Loki is nothing if not forgiving where his husband is concerned.

Loki suddenly stops to assess the best direction to take. A small tug at his leg makes him look down. Groot looks up at him with big eyes and reaches his hands up.

'I am Groot.'

Loki crouches down to pick up the small tree, wondering who would be as cruel as to let him walk on his own at the pace Loki himself set, but Groot shakes his small head, pointing at Loki's other hand.

'I am Groot.', he repeats.

Loki's anger is gone, had been gone ever since his eyes landed on Groot. How could he maintain it with the childlike eyes that are currently trained on the hand holding the Power Stone?

'This is what you want?', Loki asks softly. He opens his palm to display the black containment. Groot nods, then smiles a little. Loki feels all gazes on them and though he doesn't want to give up on the Stone, he gives it to Groot.

The tree creature just wants to bring peace into the group, to take possession of what he assumes is the source of conflict. Loki cannot begrudge him wanting them to get along. After all, they must use the Power Stone in the right moment with the right tactic or they'd all be lost.

Groot takes the Stone with a smile, then pats back to his friend Rocket and climbs onto his shoulder. Loki looks after him for a moment, then stands back up to decide where to go. No words are exchanged but Loki can feel them all breathing a collected sigh of relief.

It would be no problem to obtain the Stone later on, Loki tells himself.

'Maybe we should stay in the forest.', Bruce suggests. Clearings hadn't exactly brought them a lot of luck up till now. Loki nods in agreement. Thanos' rage would level all terrain as it is.

His rage feels now more closer, he is closing in. Loki tries to pinpoint the source, the origin, then heads into that direction. There is no reason anymore for delay.

Is it a wise decision? Probably not. Loki cares little for this. It is the right thing to do. He thinks of Midgard, the portal in the sky that led the Chitauri to New York, of all the people who had to die because of a mad idea of conquest. He thinks of Asgard, burning while he is away on another planet and unable to defend it, its people dying under the reign of terror inspired by the very monster ahead of him and now starving because of the world burned to ruins. He thinks of all the other nameless planets that fell before the Titan because no one ever dared oppose him or lived to tell the tale. How many thousands and millions and trillions of souls are out there, shivering because of the mere thought of Thanos?

It would stop. Now and here. With every fiber of his body Loki knows that just one would walk from this battle field alive and, by the Norns, it would not be that purple mad man.

His strides are purposeful and wide. Loki isn't afraid, hadn't been and wouldn't be able to be in the aftermath of Tony's death. Loki doesn't kid himself anymore though. This isn't for his father. Not for his homeworld. Not for his friends. This is for himself.

Thanos had broken him and then tried to discard him like a toy. No more. Loki would break him, bone by bone. And then, on the verge of death, he would be the victor of the game Thanos started when he plucked Loki out of space to conquer Midgard with his help and gain an Infinity Stone. Thanos had already regretted choosing Loki as his aid, but the ravenette would make sure that he himself would stop regretting any of it. The bad dreams, the shivering, the fear, the pain. It would all go away and fade a little more with each delightful string of agony wrestled from Thanos.

The others might not share his conviction and Thor might have no idea how deep his hatred truly goes but as long as they are coming with him he shall not care for the moment. These are matters that can be settled afterwards.

Suddenly there is a storm around them though none of the mortals seems to feel any difference. Loki had been so caught up in his thoughts that he barely noticed where they are, now, however, he recognizes the place immediately. It's the place where Thanos had first manifested them into this universe. Loki's eyes snap up to scan the area for their opponent.

A frightened whimper from Groot distracts him for a second before Loki's attention snaps back to Thanos who must be close by.

'Go and hide him.', he instructs Rocket without looking at either of them. They wouldn't be much help in a fight of this scale anyway. What could one little tree creature in the process of regrowing do? The blaster of Rocket doesn't work furthermore and brute strength would not bring them very far either.

Furthermore, Groot is merely a child, he doesn't understand what is happening here. He had already once died in an attempt to stop the fruits of Thanos' scheming, there is no need for it this time. A small part of Loki is simply revolted by the idea of something so small dying for such a dark cause. It might be his mother instinct coming through or something similar which he cannot allow in the moment.

The air is crackling with electricity that has for once nothing to do with Thor. There are cosmic powers in the air such as the likes Loki hadn't felt before. The rest of the team seems to pick up on it now as well if Loki's warning hadn't been sufficient to make it clear.

Everyone gets into a more defensive stance. Weapons find their ways into hands, eyes search for the one they all feel breathing down their necks.

The moment Loki's eyes land on Thanos he realizes his own mistake. Groot still holds the Power Stone Loki remembers as the golden gauntlet glitters in the mocking sunlight. How can it still be one day? Surely an eternity must have passed since they faced him on that battle field. Then, who could tell how time passes in this strange construct of space? Time is foreign to this universe. Maybe it passes not at all.

A shock goes through Loki upon fully realizing the consequences of his actions. They have no weapons to match Thanos might except the fact that the Titan wouldn't kill Loki now that he bears a child. It is too late now to call Groot back anyway.

Loki's face is a masque of pure determination, the dagger in his hand is of reassuring weight.

There is no preamble, no words exchanged. Everything has been said a long time ago. Loki charges as do his teammates. Thanos has got a spear in his other hand, ready for them. There is a grim streak around his mouth.

Somewhere out of the corner of his eye, Loki can make out Rocket who returns to the battle. He doesn't care, continues his attack on the Titan anyway, weaves his strongest magic to get through that shield of his. Thanos smashes all attacks without even so much as thinking about it. The whole battle field shakes more than once. For some minutes their futile attacks continue, then Thanos seems to lose the rest of his patience. Or resumes his calm.

'It's enough!', Thanos states quietly and yet the words are thrown back from every leaf of grass and every tree. The noise brings Loki to his knees, all of them go down.

Loki can't move, he just stays on the ground after the obvious attack. Something had changed though he isn't sure what it is or how to counteract it. He feels suddenly empty, like a shell and yet he feels his heart throb with every beat that is forced upon it. Loki groans when he hears steps coming closer to him. The boots squash the grass underneath them. Loki lies with his face down on the ground, finding it impossible to raise himself or even change his position.

The boot shows up in his field of vision, pressing against his shoulder and turning him around like a stone. Thanos' face shows up above Loki, a pleased grin on his face.

'Now, that's better.', he says. He sounds very satisfied. 'You cannot guess how long I wanted you all like this, dead at my feet.' The Titan crouches down by his side, his hand hovering over Loki's stomach. His smile doesn't falter. 'Good.' Loki follows him with his eyes when he rises again, looking around the battle field.

His eyes get caught by blond hair stained with red lying on the ground. Loki feels too hollow for tears. Thor. There is not the slightest movement in the big form just some feet away from him.

Just a short while ago he had been willing to sacrifice them all and himself if that would bring Thanos down. It hadn't been enough. Now he would do anything for another moment with his husband who lies dead on the ground. Tears cloud his vision. How could Loki have said such terrible things to him? Thor had always been at his side, had supported him his whole life and Loki's last words to him had been blaming him for this whole mess, had told him to stay away, had declined all the love and affection that there ever was. Loki wants him at his side, of course he always wanted Thor there.

Tears of grief and regret roll over his cheeks. This is all his fault. The numbness subsides slightly to make way to greater pain than he had ever thought his heart capable of. Loki still can't take his eyes of Thor, silently begging him to move, to breathe. To hate him if that means he is alive. How could he have been so horrible to his husband, so caught up in his hatred that he didn't see the light in his life anymore?

There is a rustle next to his head. Had Thanos already returned? What could he possibly want to take from Loki now? The ravenette turns his head slowly. A single word leaves his dry throat.

'Groot.'

* * *

 **Just one more chapter to go.**

 **Oh, and sorry? :)**


	78. Chapter 75 The End Of Everything

The End Of Everything

 _Every moment was a precious thing, having in it the essence of finality.  
Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca _

Groot.

The little tree looks at him with big eyes, his bottom lip is slightly quivering though the child tries to be brave. He is nothing more than a child caught in this crazy war, Loki realizes, unable to understand any of this. At least the ravenette doubts that. He is too young to fully grasp any of this but according to Rocket he hadn't been much different before. It's not in Groot's race to comprehend the fast changing dynamics of this world. Despite his current position Loki still has to look down at Groot. Loki's arms hurt where he hit the floor and he is still not sure he can get up again.

Groaning, Loki turns so he lies on his back instead of his side. His shoulder still burns from Thanos' kick. The terrible emptiness in his heart is the only thing that really registers though. The blue of the sky is nothing compared to the brilliant color Thor's eyes held and yet it reminds Loki of his husband's eyes, open and staring into nothingness. There is no pain though, just the lack of everything. Loki no longer looks at the red crusted hair of Thor, can't bear anymore to look at the motionless form of his restless brother.

The tremble of his hands grows, his arms shake now as well. Loki fears he might throw up. It would matter little. Nothing does. He had seen Thor's body for what felt like an eternity but was more likely little more than a moment and hadn't had time to process it all.

He hadn't seen his husband fall, only felt it. It had taken longer than it should have to recognize the feeling. His mother had described it for him when Odin died. As if the other part of one would go missing. It's a part of the Asgardian wedding ritual, one he had never given it any thought before though.

Loki closes his eyes. He can't grief, can't even comprehend that Thor could truly be dead and not just far away. His energetic, brave, idiotic brother, his loving, booming, joyous husband, can't possibly be gone and yet Loki knows it to be true and an irredeemable fact. The ravenette had been so horrible to him, he now realizes. He had practically told Thor to leave him alone, that he, Loki, would know better and would win this fight alone, the fight that had now claimed his beloved. Loki tries to remember his exact last words but can't bring himself to replay the awkward fight. Loki had been blinded by hatred and would now have to pay for it.

'I am Groot?'

The soft voice breaks through Loki's haze when a tiny hand grabs his own and squeezes it slightly. Loki's eyes snap open to land on Groot. He wouldn't have minded that Thanos had returned, having changed his mind about keeping Loki alive.

Worry and immeasurable sadness are written all over the small face. Loki wants to grab Groot and hide him and protect him from this all, however, he knows it is not possible. The ravenette remembers that Groot already had lost his own planet years and years ago, had lost family, friends and all of his race. And yet he stands here and wants to comfort Loki.

Groot shouldn't have to feel such things. Thanos had apparently thought him no great threat as he had let the tiny tree live. They might be still in the pocket universe but what threat could such a creature pose? Groot couldn't even make one of their mortal friends trip. So what chance would he stand against Thanos and the might of four Infinity Stones? Loki is glad he had sent Groot away before this started. It will do them no good though, he fears.

The tree turns towards Loki's feet, then looks back at the ravenette and points in the previous direction. A questioning expression lies on his face. Loki screws his eyes shut for another moment to collect his will and strength, then slowly extracts his hand from Groot's grip and sits up.

He looks in the indicated direction only to find Rocket's body spread out not too far from their current location. Loki has to force himself to not let his eyes wander to the golden red hair gleaming in the sunlight. Groot seems reluctant to cross the distance to his best friend, unsure what would happen, hoping against hope that the furry little raccoon might still be alive.

Loki sighs, turning back to his friend. He extends his hand once more to hold Groot's but instead scoops him up. He feels greater pain for the poor tree who had, again, lost all he had. He nods softly when Groot looks up at him, despair in his eyes and a desperate question burning on his tongue.

Groot sniffles, wiping his eyes though no tears had spilled yet, then sits down on Loki's palm. Loki shushes him but it is impossible to put real meaning behind it. His friend is dead, there is nothing the ravenette could do about that. Thanos had vanished, probably returned to the real universe to deal with real problems and left them alone in this pocket universe to be of no trouble any longer.

Loki's gaze drifts everywhere but to his left where he knows he would be able to spot Thor's body, bloodied and yet recognizable without a doubt. Pieces and bits of Mjolnir are spread all over the battle field. Loki looks to his right where one of them rests close to him. He wants to touch it and at the same time he doesn't want to feel the familiar material under his fingertips knowing its owner is no longer there to wield it.

Still, the urge is undeniable. It sits there, right in the corner of his vision, begging to be held. It's rectangular, almost perfectly so, he notes. Loki tries not to look too hard at it but it is better than to see his friends dead. Giving in to the temptation, Loki finds that no piece of Mjolnir sits there on the grass but another cubic sphere with a wooden glow about it.

Loki breathes out forcefully to reassure himself that he hadn't died yet. Out of the corner of his eye he hadn't realized that the box's material is not metal as he assumed but that it has a wooden exterior.

He almost can't believe his eyes but Loki already reaches out, feeling his own fingers brush the wood of Adam's treasure box. How it had come here into this world, Loki cannot fathom, but he can make a guess how it came to this place.

His fingers retract as if burned, Loki looks at Groot sitting on his palm. The box might be a little big but Groot could most certainly carry it here. How long had he actually lain on the ground after Thanos' vanished? It must have been enough time for the tree to drag a box bigger than himself from wherever to this place, assuming he had found it before Thanos' exit.

'Where did you get this?', Loki asks, not touching the box anymore. He isn't sure why but he doesn't want to touch it, feels it would be terribly wrong to do that.

Groot turns to him, a defiant look in his eye. 'I am Groot.' It sounds decisive, almost angry. Loki nods, lost in thought. His eyes are fixed on the box. Pushing all second thoughts aside, he extends his hand and picks it up. Gently he opens it only to be blinded by the orange light emitting from it. However it is tranquilizing and soothes his racing thoughts. Somehow it makes him find peace in this chaos. He fancies seeing his family, his friends, all of them alive and sound, just waiting for him to come join them. Finally he understands what Adam meant when he titled the Stone with 'haven'.

Loki can openly admit to have never felt such calm in any situation, his mind constantly abuzz with ideas, plans and purpose. He holds the box out a little further. Groot is transfixed by the light but not surprised. Loki wonders if he feels the same quietness and comfort, sees his own race and his friends. Maybe he does given the expression of wonder on his face. A moment later though it is gone.

Groot moves slowly but surely and closes the box. He hadn't quite fallen under the Stone's spell on the opposite to Loki who had wanted that feeling to continue. The emptiness sets back in immediately when the light is cut off. The tree seems to sigh, no sound passes his lips though. Loki diverts his gaze to where the house of Adam is in the clearing. That's where Groot must have gotten it from, that's where it had been before they were all brought here.

How could he have been so blind and arrogant as to not check it? Especially after Groot brought the Power Stone to them, Loki should have suspected.

Thanos must have transported all sources of powers to this universe with the exception of Elena and Adam who would both probably have died by now in the real world. No doubt the ships did attack after Thanos brought them all here. He can't have known, Loki suspects. But he did know what he was doing when he refused to battle the strange Midgardian and their former friend.

Suddenly there is a loud burst right in front of the unlikely couple. Green eyes snap to the spot from where the ruckus arises. Either Thanos sensed the Infinity Stone in their grasp or he merely returns to torment them further.

'Do you remember where you put the other Stone, the purple one?', Loki asks, not looking at Groot. He keeps his eyes open for the Titan.

Groot nods fervently. His eyes are wide open but for the first time Loki sees beyond his child like statue, beyond his looks and sees his true age somewhere in the depths of the brown eyes. There is no malice, no rage, no fire but a calmness. He knows what to do. He will do what is necessary, is not afraid of what is about to happen.

'You are our only hope.', Loki says when handing Groot the key to the galaxy. The tree accepts the box, picking it up carefully as if not to disturb it. He is stronger than he gave him credit for. Loki sets him to the ground. He hopes he made the right decision but it is too late for doubt now. 'I will hold him off for as long as I can. If you activate one of them though, he will sense it and come.'

Groot nods, then holds the box up higher and starts running.

'Hurry.', Loki calls after him when he himself scrambles to his feet. Then he continues softer, 'Hurry, my friend.' The hope of a galaxy rests in the hands of a tree. Loki tries not to think about the implications.

He turns around to find Thanos stare at him. He had seen Groot run away but makes no move to follow him. Why should he bother? He doesn't know what lies in the box on Groot's shoulders.

'You think that will save him?', Thanos mocks. 'I will find him later. He can't go anywhere now, can he?' A grin spreads on his face. 'He is of no consequence, however. I might even let him be if you have finally come to your senses.'

'That's why you are here? To bargain?', Loki demands to know. His brows are furrowed. What is he gambling at?

'No. Merely to show my mercy.' Loki doesn't like his smile or his expression one bit.

He forces himself to laugh at Thanos and to not look in Thor's direction or in that of any of the others. 'What mercy?', he asks. His hands are balled to fists. Loki has no dagger anymore to throw at Thanos, all his weapons are gone.

Thanos isn't fazed. Why should he? He knows Loki is no threat whatsoever, he is the one who holds all the power. 'I have chosen to permit you to live for the remainder of your pregnancy in this place. You can bury your husband and your friends. I will even let you pick the place of your own grave.', the Titan says with a smile that is supposed to be kind. 'You will bear my queen and then I will kill you, quick and painless. You even have a home here.' He points at the replica of Adam's exile. Thanos no doubt thinks himself merciful for not merely speeding things up with the Time Stone and kill him instantly.

'What? So my daughter can mourn me and avenge the death of her parents?', Loki scoffs.

'She will be more clever than even you, trickster. She will realize that this was indeed necessary. Why should Death care for a single man?', is the ominous reply.

'Yes, why indeed.', Loki mutters. She wouldn't care about a murderer and even if Death would care for each of the gifted, why should she care for an immortal being as Thanos tries to become? She would either condemn his actions or not care at all for them. That's what the ravenette has to believe.

'So, what do you say, Asgardian?', Thanos prompts, his head is tilted. Loki pretends to have to think about it. 'Now, I grow impatient.', the Titan urges.

Loki turns to look at Thor. 'I think I will decline.', he says in a voice without a quiver or a hesitation. He hurls his collected magic at the purple creature without morale or rules, putting everything he has behind it.

Thanos flicks it aside. He sighs as if regretting the choice he just made. Loki collapses from the strain, he pants and awaits his destiny. 'That settles it, Asgar-' He stops, freezes completely. His dark eyes are trained on something behind Loki, something Loki knows to be out of sight.

A smile spreads on the ravenette's face. 'Too late, monster.', he says gleefully.

Rage twists Thanos' face. Groot had made it, Loki is sure. He grins when the sword cuts his neck.

xXxXx

Groot presses the box to his chest. It is a little bigger than he himself but he makes his legs a little longer to run faster. Danger is coming from behind but the tree reminds himself to not turn around and to hurry as Loki had instructed.

He retraces his steps to where he and his friend Rocket had hid the purple stone so that Thanos wouldn't get his hands on it. Loki's words still echo in the back of Groot's head. He must hurry, he must get the stones and somehow use them to stop Thanos from destroying even more.

Loki holds him back but Groot isn't sure for how long he will be able to. He had felt the ravenette's doubt in himself. Groot has a bad feeling about this. The whole scenario reminds him too much of the day his planet died. He had wanted to keep the heart of his planet alive, the only reason he is alive is that he failed. Groot had been too slow that day and fears this will be a repetition of that event.

He urges his legs to move faster. The first strange buildings surround him now. The ground underneath him had first frightened him when he and Rocket came here. His friend didn't understand why. Groot had felt the lifelessness of the grass beneath his feet and the dead trees that surround them. It is unnerving, pressing down on him from all sides, this unbearable void and silence. For the first hours Groot had refused to touch any of this strangeness and had let himself be carried by Rocket as he had carried him many times.

Finally he finds the dead thing at which roots they had put the orb. It didn't seem right to put it up in the boughs. Groot places the wooden box on the floor, then picks up the round sphere. His eyes widen, it is more difficult to breathe now with this in his hands. It had almost killed Groot's friends and a whole planet just as his own had died. He had been incapacitated at that time and doesn't know what to expect.

It feels warm and alive in his hands. Groot's eyes flit between the orb and the box. He opens the latter, gazing at the calming light for some moments to sooth himself. Visions of his people flood him. It's almost overwhelming. He knows that he could visit the family he sees, but that would mean leaving his new family behind. They are all dead.

Groot returns his attention to the purple stone in the containment. Gamora had shown him how to open it. He hears no fighting so Thanos must be on his way. Groot takes a deep breath, focuses on his deceased friends, and opens the orb. Purple light surrounds him immediately.

Groot doesn't hesitate to touch the stone sitting innocently in the containment. It looks almost pretty. The containment falls to the floor when Groot grasps the Stone with both hands.

He feels himself growing well beyond his prior height. His branches reach out for the most distant parts of the galaxy though his feet stay firmly rooted on the wrong floor. There is more than just this small space though. Groot breaks the containment of this world with ease and suddenly is enveloped. There are hundreds of millions of ways to go and his branches reach out in every direction. There are the nine realms which are already linked by one of his extensions but he grows well beyond that.

Energies flow like wind through the leaves at the end of his boughs, he feels every single one of them, even the tiny speck of energy rushing at him. What is it compared to the universe?

Groot had pressed the Stone closer to his chest, he extends around it, it is at his center and yet he exists outside of it. Some flames break out close to him. Groot opens his eyes, still seeing the universe at his branches. He reaches out to take the orange glow into his hand now that the red stone had merged with his being. Someone wants to grab it, take it from him. A jolt of power is enough to drive the disturbance back.

Groot takes the Stone into his hands and his whole perception changes. Suddenly he isn't merely spanning across the universe, his leaves have started to glow. He is aware of every single green leave there is in this universe and the others around him. They are singing in low voices, murmuring to him like the wind used to.

Groot breathes, feeling the essence of the universe pass right through him. Each soul drifting through this place is touched by him and they touch him. There must be trillions upon trillions of life forms only in this part of the galaxy.

He returns his attention to his immediate surroundings. His friends hadn't left, they weren't able to. Groot takes some steps towards them.

The nuisance returns and tries to prevent him from communicating with his family and friends. Groot turns to him whom he now recognizes as Thanos. His life thread goes through the whole universe, bringing death wherever he goes. Groot sees it, sees even more, all the deaths on him, the dread he inspired, the evil in his soul. Groot sees his thread and he takes it and plucks it right from the plane of reality about him.

He holds Thanos in his hands, his life, his soul, his path through time and reality. Devoid of any emotion Groot judges that he does not deserve this gift of life. As easily as he has taken it into his hands, Groot erases the thread and Thanos with it as if neither ever existed.

The tree turns away from the disturbance that no longer is and looks at his friends. Rocket is the first to cross his path because he is who Groot has been looking for. His body lies there on the ground, lifeless. Groot extends his hand to the soul drifting around it and breathes life into his best friend again.

There are other light points dancing around Groot and once Rocket's eyes are open, looking up at him with wonder and amazement, Groot turns to them, taking each in within a moment's gaze. They are all different and yet somehow the same. They come closer to him now, not afraid of the disturbance anymore which sought to hurt them.

Some are more curious than others, drifting up to the orange glow in his hand. Others are shy and don't dare approach the light. Groot smiles at them all, reaching out for all of them to share his calmness and his contentment. They remind him of the lights he used to summon in his bigger form. Yet, it is not he who creates them.

While Groot watched their friends and distinguished the souls, Rocket had gotten up and stares now at him in wonder. Groot realizes that he probably can't see what is happening right in front of their eyes. Rocket looks down at him, unsure if he should pick his friend up. Groot smiles up at him. The raccoon must be as blind as he himself had been, if not more.

Groot wanders over to Loki who had send him away to save them all. His body looks sad like this, on the floor. A bigger light point and a small one drift closer to Groot as if sensing his powers and his intentions.

Groot tilts his head in interest and to observe it more closely, then recognizes Loki and someone else in the flowing construct. Gently he reaches out his hand and guides them both back to Loki's body, letting his healing energies go with them to repair the vessel of these souls, waiting for the ravenette to stand up and instruct him further.

He would revive his other friends, that much Groot already plans. But Loki had already spoken about this a long time ago on the ship. Maybe he had meant this? Still, the tree is willing to wait.

The ravenette breathes in deeply, his eyes flutter open when he awakens. Groot gives him some moments in which Loki's hands flutter to his stomach in a flurry. Loki breathes a sigh of relief. Then his hand flies up to his neck which is now part of his body again. He stretches his legs and slowly gets up, one hand still unconsciously drifting over his stomach. Eventually he looks down at Groot with a smile. They have made it, Groot feels that.

With a smile Groot extends his hands, cradling the orange Stone like a child. Loki looks surprised so Groot smiles to reassure him. It would make him happy to hold it in his hands, he knows that. Groot wants him to be as happy and content as he himself feels right now.

Loki hesitates for another moment, then crouches down and takes it out of Groot's hands, closing his hand around him, cutting off the light emitting from it. Loki looks worried but the creases on his forehead smooth a little after he took hold of the Stone.

'Where is the Power Stone?', he asks. His voice is calm if a little bit rusty.

Groot continues to smile up at him. 'I am Groot.', he says, pointing at his chest. It does not feel uncomfortable, it doesn't even feel strange. It is as if it had always been there. Somehow it reminds him of the power source of his old planet, maybe it would have felt like this if Groot had reached it in time. This time he had been on time though and he had saved his friends, that much he is sure of.

'You've done well.', Loki says as if reading his thoughts. It makes Groot even more happy than he had been. The ravenette smiles now as well in a way that tells Groot he has done more than all right. 'Where is Thanos?', he asks next.

Groot turns around, his steps are a little skipping. He points in the direction of the trees. He feels like he is floating. 'I am Groot.', he chimes happily.

Loki stands up and walks in that direction, slowly as if he expects Thanos to be still there. Groot follows him with little jumping steps. His friend Rocket is safe again and not threatened anymore. It is just a matter of time before his other friends would join them and form a family once more, maybe even a bigger one than before, Groot thinks with a look at the others on the field. He is no longer frightened or worried, everything is clear and laid out now.

They reach the place where the tree had plucked the thread of Thanos of which there is now no trace anymore. It did not undo past misdeeds but there is no way he could ever return from this.

On the ground is no proof of anyone ever being here except for the golden gauntlet lying forgotten on the ground. Loki stops when he sees it as if afraid of it. Groot doesn't really understand why but he stops as well, looking up at Loki to see what he would do next.

The ravenette picks it up like a weapon. Groot feels the power coming from it but it poses no immediate danger to any of them so he ignores it. Loki observes the strange thing from all sides.

'What have you done to him?', Loki asks, watching the gauntlet warily. Eventually when Groot makes no answer, he looks down at the tree who had picked up some dead earth from the ground.

He lets go of it. 'I am Groot.'

Loki nods in thought. 'Let's get back to the others.', he says. He had twisted the orange stone in his hand, looking for a place for it in the gauntlet. Groot does not understand why he not simply wields it as Groot himself had done but is too excited to get all his friends back to complain about minor technicalities.

The bodies of their friends come into sight once again, Loki then takes the gauntlet and puts it on, crouching down next to all of them, one by one, healing them before casting an orange glow about them. Groot no longer sees the glowing lights in the air though he is sure they are still there.

Rocket sits at the edge of the whole scenery, watching just as Groot does. Groot sits down next to him, happy to be reunited with his best friend in all the worlds. Together they watch Loki performing his task.

Groot looks up at Rocket when he feels his gaze resting on him. 'Well done, little buddy.', he says, picking Groot up and placing him on his knees so Groot would be more comfortable.

xXxXx

Loki's heart is heavy as he crouches down next to his husband, extending the golden gauntlet to him. It's not difficult to direct the energy flow of the five Infinity Stones. To hold such power in his hands at a mere thought is not something he wants to get used to.

The orange glow encompasses the blond from head to toe. Loki sees no change but he feels it. Groot is still emitting strange energies but this must work without the Power Stone.

Being revived is a weird feeling, almost like being stripped of one's being and being replaced by another. Loki doesn't feel like himself as of yet, not without his husband but he doubts that that is it. His views might have shifted, he feels like he was born again and would have to get to know this new self. He had touched his stomach in the very first moment in fear of what he might find or rather not find. It had been an unconscious reaction. The light flutter of energy had brought happiness into this new being.

Thor sighs, then his eyes flutter and open finally. Relief surges through Loki, tears wet his cheeks. Maybe Groot had done more than just return his soul to his body. If it is for the worse, Loki heavily doubts. He feels freer now that he pays attention to it.

Loki pays attention to not touch Thor with the gauntlet, afraid he might lose control of the unimaginable power. Thor takes some deep breaths with Loki's hand on his chest. The ravenette just has to make sure the breaths are real, that it is Thor who breathes and moves and lives. Slowly Thor's eyes focus on the blue sky, then settle on Loki. A faint smile appears on his face. His face starts to blur because tears now cloud Loki's eyes. Blindly Loki reaches for Thor's hand. It's warm and comforting and everything Loki needs for some moments.

Thor's wounds are gone thanks to the Time Stone. He doesn't look any different but Loki can't help it, he feels also strange. Not a bad strangeness though. He seems to have touched the dead and returned. If anything he is wiser than before.

He sits up and gazes over the utter destruction of the once peaceful meadow.

'Love.', Loki murmurs. He still can't believe that Thor just moved on his own. The blond now turns fully to him, a slight frown on his face, the smile, however, stays in place. A calloused hand strokes Loki's cheek, seconds later he is enveloped in Thor's arms.

'What happened?', Thor asks after what felt like an eternity and what both of them needed.

Loki retreats slightly to look at him. 'We've won.', he whispers as his voice won't allow him anything else. It had been impossible and yet.. he feels it deep within his soul, Thanos is truly gone from their lives. 'We saved the universe.'

Thor's smile widens the tiniest bit. What do they care about the universe when they have each other? A big hand comes to rest on Loki's belly when the ravenette pulls it there. Thor's breath hitches. They are all save and sound. After some more moments finally the blond pulls them both in a standing position. Just now he seems to see the weapon encompassing Loki's left hand.

'How do you feel?', Loki wants to know.

Thor nods, his eyes transfixed by the gauntlet. He clearly thinks of the rage that had taken Loki these.. had it merely been days? It feels like a lifetime ago, or at least a death away. 'Where are the others?'

Loki looks around to the fallen heroes. 'I should return them as well.' What will happen after that is done is another thing to discuss. This is not there universe, anything damaged has probably no effects on their own.

They walk from friend to friend, one after the next opens their eyes to see a startling new day. None questions how Groot had been able to defeat an allpowerful being such as the Titan because none wants to know. There are hugs and tears of joy as they are reunited. It is a rush for the ravenette, not real. Everything is happening in a haze because to accept reality would be to know what reality is now. Maybe he is still dead and had entered that mystical place Adam called 'haven'.

Everyone seems dazed by this sudden development. They gather in the midst of the destruction, holding onto each other, afraid to break the spell of silence. Groot recounts the story with Rocket's help, and though there are gaps, Loki thinks the central thought was conveyed.

'We should return.', Loki states, looking up at the sky. The last thing they had seen in their universe was an armada ready to kill each and every living being. The Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy should be tired because of this ordeal but interestingly none of them feels fatigued. Ready to fight the left over opponent who would pose no threat after they already have defeated Thanos, they gather near what would have been Adam's house. Loki looks at each of them, then reaches out with his mind to the Reality Stone.

Almost instantly the sky turns back to the ruby red, dipping the whole scenery in an eery light. Most of the ground is destroyed, trees are uprooted, the blueish grass is burned. A shadow passes them as a gigantic spaceship takes up most of the sky. It must be in very close orbit, Loki thinks, or only still bigger. Adam's housing is gone, there isn't even rubble to mark the space, just a big hole in the ground.

Quill's communicator chimes while they still try to process what happened here. The brunet flicks it open, a vaguely familiar face greets them.

'You have returned.' There are no other welcoming words from Nova-Prime. She seems immensely surprised to not see Thanos emerging from the portal.

Quill frowns. 'What- what are you doing here.' The question gets lost in his surprise.

'Is the fate of a galaxy not enough to risk everything for it?' Nova-Prime smiles. 'We destroyed the Titan's fleet. Is he..?' She leaves the question unfinished, a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Quill nods without losing any time. 'So we've won.', she states.

'I guess we did.' Real joy hadn't set in especially facing the victims of the storm that had just rushed over the galaxy. Billions of lives had been lost.

'We aren't done yet.', Loki says, turning around and walking with quick and determined steps back to where the Milano had stood. It matters little what had happened here. Everywhere are the signs of crashed spaceships and somehow Loki doubts all of them were Thanos'.

The others hurry after him, possibly unsure of what he wants to do now. For what he plans they are one person short as of yet.

xXxXx

'This is never going to work, Reindeer Games.'

Tony crosses his arms, eyeing the glove Loki had donned. Why he wears the weapon that maniac who killed his father and world had designed, Tony hasn't figured out yet. The others look worn but alive and ready to go. It's more than he expected. More than any of them ever expected.

They had defeated Thanos, had saved countless of lives despite the ones lost. They even brought Tony back from the dead though he never asked for that. He had been done with life, had been ready to die and now Loki deaged him again and somehow waved that magic glove to revive him. Apparently that's not good enough for Loki.

No, the Asgardian has that brilliant plan to yet get the all killed. Again.

'Yes, it will.', Loki insists.

Tony is kind of glad that he hadn't been around to witness his friends' temporary deaths. He had spend the longest time dead of them all. He can't remember it all, there is just a feeling, a deep seated heap of peace but it is already fading. He doesn't think it will last for a long time, although he hopes to be proven wrong.

Tony rolls his eyes. At least the stubbornness of his friend hadn't changed. 'So let me just recap that plan of yours. You want to split up the Infinity Stones, objects of unimaginable power, put them into our hands and.. do what exactly?'

'Return this universe to what it is supposed to be. I can't wield all the Stones by myself, especially not with Groot channeling the power we need. I need your help to undo this all.'

'Undo, it as in turn back time?' Because what could possibly go wrong?

Loki smiles. 'That's exactly what I am planning.' He isn't fazed by that prospect. Tony on the other hand is. He is changing the whole time continuum. 'Don't worry.' Apparently Loki still can read his mind or maybe he just knows it is indeed a terrible idea. 'I figured it out. We can't reverse everything but because our fight was outside of this universe, we can undo some of the evil done. We got the Power Stone from Xandar, the last weapon except for the Soul Stone. But it was safe with Adam, Thanos didn't find it and Groot erased him from existence.'

Tony frowns. 'You mean we can- '

'Save your world. Yes, it would safe and we wouldn't change the course of things.' Loki looks at Nova-Prime. 'You didn't come here because Midgard was destroyed. We didn't travel here because it was destroyed. We will reset time in the limited space of your solar system.' He had turned back to Tony.

'What about Asgard?' It had happened way before the team had reached Xandar.

A shadow crosses Loki's face. 'What is done is done. Thor and I will help them rebuild our home. We will mourn the dead, grief for a while and then rise like the break of dawn.'

Thor puts a hand on his shoulder, a silent show of unity.

Tony nods. Asgard's destruction has happened too long ago. There is no way of telling what they might change. 'So we would all know what happened and for the people on Earth it would be as if nothing ever happened.'

Loki nods. 'After this, we can make all the damage done to your world come undone. You can fix Vision, take off where we started those years ago. Just help me with this.', he insists. He extends his hand. Groot already sits on Loki's shoulder, smiling serenely. He waves at Tony like he only now sees him.

Nova-Prime had send one of her ships with them back to Earth, the rest of her fleet is already on its way home with her to return to Xandar and its people. From the big view screen she now judges their future actions. Until now they hadn't found any surprises on their way from Adam's planet to Earth as they traveled with the Tesseract's power. With any luck all of Thanos' fleet had been there when the Xandarians and their allies destroyed the whole fleet.

Adam had chosen to come with them for now but with the reservation of going back to his own world should he wish to. If this crazy plan of theirs works, there is no reason Tony would deny him that. He'd even build him the spaceship Adam would need himself. He is a strange character though, Tony decides. The blond human (if he really is still such) is in the same room with them, looking out of the viewing shield at what used to be their home.

There is something in the back of Tony's mind which had found the cause of this distress in less than a minute, he hadn't told the others though. It's not his call to make. No surprise Adam is strange like this after all. After everything he must have been through considering the experiments he had been subjected to and his long loneliness on that distant point of the galaxy.

Tony turns away from the destruction in the background. He doesn't want to see Earth like this. He just can't. From what the others had told him, he had died alongside his mother planet and that was good. He doesn't want to live in this cold harsh universe without a point, a beacon, to return to.

The travels here had taken them close to Earth's orbit within a day despite that everyone had been too exhausted to speed things up. They had the Tesseract in their possession after all. Most of the time the Avengers and Guardians had spend sleeping and regenerating after meeting up with Nova-Prime to exchange stories. The Milano had been no more than shreds and though that could have been fixed with the Time Stone, they decided against doing it. So the Guardians had decided to get a new ship for a new age, a new beginning. And that should start on Midgard. It would be the first time Quill returns to his home.

At the same time they had sat together and tried to process all that has happened. Groot had been the only one truly witnessing Thanos' death, Tony doesn't need to know too much about that as far as he is concerned. The Mad Titan is dead, that's all that counts even if the casualties have been high.

Nova-Prime bids them farewell for now, Loki crosses the room. With a nod of his head he signals Tony that it is time. The brunette leaves without looking back. He needs no further material for nightmares. He has enough to last him another lifetime.

They are standing in a circle. The more they are, the less energy would need to be transferred by each one. It's safer. At least that's what Loki told them. Who could say what six Infinity Stones would do to a group of people? The Power Stone was almost enough to kill the Guardians of the Galaxy. Tony somehow doubts that it will be any easier to wield five more of these even with Groot containing the Power Stone.

They join hands, then Loki activates the Stones. Tony breathes in, his eyes flutter. It's like a rush but he can control it. At least he hopes so.

'Concentrate.'

Loki's voice is calm as per usual. There is no strain in it, no sign that he experiences the same Tony does. From the gasps around him, the brunet doesn't think he is alone with these sensations. He reminds himself that Loki also channels Groot's energies into their circle.

Tony concentrates on feeding that power back to Loki so he can use them. There is something like an explosion behind Tony's eyelids, then everything is over. He feels a little dizzy when he scrambles to his feet, not being aware of having lost his footage.

Steve helps him up and steadies him but his eyes are fixed on the viewing screen. Tony's eyes follow his gaze to where the rubble of his home had been only to find a completely normal Earth sitting there right in space. It's breathtaking.

Tony takes some steps in the direction of home. He has traveled the universe, has seen and fought for other worlds, all just to return to this place. Well, this place minus the thousands of kilometers separating them yet.

'Is it really all back to normal?', Tony hears himself ask.

'Yes.', Loki whispers, a smile is audible in the one word. Tony looks down at his world, a shaky smile spreads also on his face. He could just stand here for the rest of his life and take in the beautiful view of his favorite planet spinning around its axis.

That's when he sees the reflection on the glass, really sees it for the first time. A frown enters his face, staying firmly seated when Tony raises his hand to touch it. 'What have you done?', he demands to know because this is clearly Loki's work.

It's not his own face staring back at him. Or rather it is, it's just not one he had seen for the past ten years or so in the mirror. Not since after Afghanistan at least. In the past 24 hours so much has happened, Tony hadn't found the time to analyze his mirror image too closely. None of the others had said a word though.

Loki walks next to him, Tony looks up at him. A smile plays around the corner of his lips. 'I didn't think you would mind.', he says.

Tony takes a deep breath to give him a piece of his mind about deaging him further than necessary without his consent, but then he realizes what exactly this means, and he sighs deeply. 'As long as you didn't do that to our world as well..', he mutters.

Loki laughs. This free he had never done so ever since Tony knows him. It suits him.

'Ready to go home?', the ravenette asks. Whatever had happened with him, Tony hopes it will last very long.

Tony's grin nearly splits his face. 'Hell, yes.'

xXxXxXx

 **Happy New Year!**

 **So, just the Epilogue II to go now. Yay! Tomorrow, really this time, I swear.**


	79. Epilogue II

By The Sea

There is a happy squeal from the edge of the water, making Loki look up. Hela races the waves back and forth, chasing and fleeing in turns, laughing loudly. Some of the cool water must have still gotten her judging by the surprised noises she makes. Her raven hair reflects the sunlight when she starts to run towards her parents, having tired of her lonely play.

Loki extends his arms to greet her and pick his daughter up. She hadn't started talking yet but walking is working quite well by now. They aren't in a hurry with any of this though. He can't help but smile at his beautiful daughter who so much takes after himself. Loki isn't sure why but he certainly won't complain.

He wouldn't complain ever again after that whole mess with Thanos either given that it had granted him this opportunity. Loki isn't sure if he could enjoy his family as much as he does without the Titan.

Hela is the best thing that had happened to Loki, and that includes his husband. She had made his life better and continues to do so with each second he spends with her. If the Titan had somehow manipulated her life in any way, it is not perceptible for her parents, and she is otherwise completely unharmed from that monster and the stressful beginnings of the pregnancy for which Loki will be eternally grateful. He can barely think about the fact that he had thought the only way of protecting her would be not having her.

Even when she wakes in the middle of the night Loki can't ever get tired of holding her close, patiently waiting for his daughter to calm again. No matter how much burden the leadership of Asgard weighs on Thor and him, they always find the time to watch their daughter grow up and delight about every step.

'It's so strange.', Tony interrupts his musings. He steps behind the ravenette to look at his godchild. Thor had insisted on that Midgardian tradition. Loki can't say he is unhappy about this arrangement. 'She is still so tiny after all this time.', he says with a smile. Hela reaches her arms out for him. 'See? She wants to Uncle Tony. She already has an excellent taste though.', he adds with a grin.

Loki puts Hela into Tony's arms. 'She's no Midgardian so she won't be grown up for some while.', he points out. 'Asgardians..'

'Need longer for that, I know.', he interrupts him when taking Hela from him. 'Whoa. You might not have grown, princess, but you're certainly taking after your daddy.', Tony says shakily. He nearly buckles under Hela's weight but can eventually stabilize himself. After all this time he still seems to forget that Asgardians and Jotnar are a few times as heavy as the humans. Hela makes a delighted noise in the back of her throat when Tony carries her off to the water again.

Loki isn't worried. One spell and both would be safe and dry if the need should arise. Furthermore Tony would never let any harm come to Loki's daughter.

He sits down on the blanket where Steve and Thor have entertained James until now. Tony and Steve's son is yet in the phases of learning how to walk despite the fact that he is a tenth of Hela's age. He would overtake her soon enough. For now James is merely Hela's younger cousin.

The day is warm, a little too much for Loki's liking, but the small breeze coming from the Atlantic cools them a little. Seabirds are screeching far above their heads. Loki looks up but can't spot them against the bright sunlight.

Thor's arm sneaks around his shoulders, drawing him closer but his eyes stay fixed on James. Loki knows he would like to have another child somewhen, for Hela to have a sibling or two. Or ten. Loki doubts Thor would mind that terribly much. With a smile Loki leans into the touch.

The crown is a heavy burden for Thor, but even if his smile is a little more strained than it used to be, it is as honest as ever. Asgard's repairs are slowly coming along. After some searching they even have found a lot of the lost population of their homeworld also thanks to their new gatekeeper. Adam has had enough of living alone and volunteered for the task while at the same time protecting the Soul Stone which grants him similar abilities to the ones Heimdall used to possess. Loki is glad about this little fact. At least he knows the Rainbow Bridge is protected and safe.

More people than they thought were able to flee from Asgard as Thanos' forces attacked. They almost all have returned. The capital is, with the help of the other realms, Jotunheim and Vanaheim as the foremost, almost completely rebuild and hosts the biggest part of the population. Some of the other cities are being readied to move there again as of now.

And Midgard hadn't even known what happened. The Avengers chose to keep it that way. None of the people on this planet has any idea what happened after their heroes took off to space and came back after a year and a half. Life goes on with no demons hunting any of them in their sleep.

Tony restored Vision to his former self. He is now the official protector of the Mind Stone. Some sorcerers from Midgard claimed the Time Stone for themselves as they had protected it for the past centuries if not longer. A certain Doctor Strange appeared to be a good choice as the keeper. The Tesseract is kept safe at the Avengers Tower. The Aether stayed with Asgard as it is too powerful a weapon to be wielded by any. The Power Stone was returned to Xandar as they agreed that it was safest there and none of the Xandarians would misuse its power.

Thor's lips on his temple bring Loki back from his musings. Their visit of Midgard is almost over, he and his family have to return to Asgard soon. Frigga would miss her grandchild terribly by now.

Summer sky blue eyes are now trained on him. Loki hears James' yawning. Thor pulls him closer in front of him.

'Should we tell them?', he wants to know, a smile playing around the corner of his mouth when his hand pats the side of Loki's stomach so that Steve wouldn't see it.

Loki closes his eyes to enjoy the last rays of the sun. 'Not yet.', he murmurs, relaxing further into Thor's embrace. They have a lot of time left. He feels Thor's chuckle as his husband wraps his arms around Loki's form to look at the sunset and Hela playing in the shallow water, outrunning Tony easily.

~Fin~

* * *

 **Oh my goodness, I can't believe this is over. It has been a fantastic year and a half, thank you all for your support, for taking the time to leave a review, for simply reading this 'little' idea that wouldn't leave me alone a single day since June 2016. So much has happened. I will miss this story sure as hell.**

 **I can't even think of something clever to say. Thank you so much and make sure to keep your eyes open for other works for which I now might find the time. I still owe you a continuation of the spin-off though I am not sure if I can leave Loki and Thor completely alone just yet, if not though there might be a big time skip and it would be a separate story from this.**

 **Anyway, I have waited so long to mark this story as complete and now finally that time has arrived. After all the drama of the past weeks (and I don't necessarily just mean Christmas) I think we all deserved this fluff. I certainly needed it.**

 **My heart aches slightly but it feels very relieving at the same time to have finished such a monster of a story. More than 400 thousand words! Goodness if you would have told me a year ago I would have proclaimed you mad. Phew. Thank you for sticking with me.**

 **So, thank you (again). I know it's cliche but I love you all. Hope to see you all somewhen again for one of my other stories. As for now, /enter bow/.**


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